All language subtitles for Boomers.S01E04.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-Gusty_track3_[eng]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Have you invited
everyone from work?

ALAN: Yep.

What about champagne?

Have you got champagne?

I want a bit of sophistication,
a bit of class.

We don´t need champagne.

We´ve got cava.

Cava is fine for that lot.

You are gonna be nice
to everyone, aren´t you, Alan?

Joyce, this is
your retirement party.

I want everyone to feel welcome.

I´m just not keen on having it
at home, that´s all.

You can´t ever really relax
when you´re throwing a party.

Yeah, but you´re not
throwing it, Joyce. I am.

And it´ll be fantastic.
I promise.

What I really wanted was
a very tasteful surprise party

at a country hotel.

Sandra, when she retired
from the police...

Here we go.

...she had a themed
famous detectives party

at the Marriott.

Marquee, swing band,
chocolate fountain,

Hercule Poirot serving
all the champagne cocktails.

It had a bit of class,
a bit of tastefulness,

a bit of sophistication.

Yeah, but you don´t have
to spend that kind of money

to be classy, Joyce.

I promise you
I will transform our house

into your very own special
country hotel just for the day.

Ah, where would I find
a patio heater

and some heavy-duty
plastic sheeting?

Hi!

-Hi.
-Hi.

Oh, you didn´t all need to come.

It´s Saturday morning, Joy.
What else are we gonna do?

If Maureen doesn´t get her
garden-center fix of a Saturday,

she goes into withdrawal.

Which one for the front porch?

I can´t decide.

I´ve literally fallen in love
with them both.

We like the coffee in here,
don´t we?

Yeah.

Best cappuccino vanilla shake
in Thurnemouth.

Certainly is.

Actually, it´s the only
cappuccino vanilla shake

in Thurnemouth.

All set for tomorrow?
Got your party head on?

-I think so.
-It´s a big day for Joyce.

End of a working life.

That´s the last time
she´ll ever make any money.

You want to make sure
it goes with a bang.

-I´ll do me best.
-And you´re not on your own.

Remember that.

We´re all on hand to chip in.

Thanks.
I appreciate that.

Joyce has been a rock for us all
over the years,

and we´re gonna do
everything we can

to make tomorrow
a day she´ll remember forever.

-Mm.
-Maureen´s bringing crisps.

-How was London?
-Oh, it was lovely.

Really nice
to catch up with Jackie.

We had a fantastic lunch
in Covent Garden.

Sounds upmarket.

No, it was smart,
but not over the top.

Being from London,
I´m not fazed by these places.

I´m used to a bit of glam.

Are we gonna get a bit of glam
at yours tomorrow, Joyce?

Wouldn´t get your hopes up.
Alan´s organizing it.

It´s not gonna be
a big do anyway.

There´s been
a few retirement parties

got out of hand recently.

Not going down that road.

Barbara Wait had to have
her living-room carpet

steam-cleaned after hers,

and she said her toilet
was awash with urine.

Men get worse as they get older,
don´t they?

Have you tried a ping-pong ball?

You know -- in the pan.

Give them something to aim at.

Worked for John.

I don´t think
Alan could hit a ping-pong ball.

Trevor would struggle
to hit a table.

How´s the video tribute going?

It´s all done.

I´ve got this new camera.
Does all the editing for you.

It´s amazing.

Well, it cost a bob or two,
mind,

but you never regret
money well spent, do you?

-How much do I owe you?
-No, no, put it away.

-Okay.
-This is on me, for Joyce.

Now, I´ve kept it light.

I mean, I can´t stand it
when people

get all soppy over those things,
you know.

It´s like a birthday card.

You want a funny one
or a syrupy one.

Did you ever get one of
those cards, right, which says,

"For that someone extra special
on their birthday"?

9 times out of 10, the person
who´s sent it is a pillock.

Did I tell you
I´ve taken up cycling?

150 minutes a week.
That´s all you need.

-I´m gonna get this one.
-I wouldn´t.

-What´s wrong with it?
-It´s no good.

It´s the cheapest.

You get what you pay for, see?

You only get
one retirement party.

Do you want Joyce´s
to be remembered

as the one where all the guests
caught hypothermia and died?

It´s happened before.

CAROL:
Now, we don´t want you

to worry about catering
tomorrow, do we, Maureen?

No.

We´re taking over the kitchen.

So you can concentrate
on letting your hair down.

I´m doing nem nuong.

MAUREEN: Nem nuong.
Vietnamese.

Very cosmopolitan.

I´m doing an Asian fusion course
at the U3A.

You want to go online
and check them out.

You can do all sorts of things.

Very interesting courses.

Really, Carol,
you don´t need to.

Joyce!
It´s all taken care of.

We don´t want to hear
any more about it.

Yeah, but nong numong?

-Nem nuong.
-[ Sighs ]

Yeah, that sounds
like it might be tricky.

Joyce, you want a bit
of sophistication, don´t you?

A little bit
of cosmopolitaneity.

MAUREEN:
I agree.

I mean, I think we´re
very sophisticated up here.

Do you know what Jackie said
to me the other day at lunch?

"You look like you´ve settled
into life in the country."

Know what I mean?

Like I was some sort of
simpleton up from the provinces.

We´re not simpletons.

We´re not simpletons
up from the provinces, are we?

I mean, people from London
think that anyone beyond the M25

is out in the sticks.

-We´re hardly out in the sticks.
-Exactly, Carol.

We´re only an hour from Norwich.

I´m losing a lot of red currants
to birds.

Are you?

Carol only got three jars of jam
off her bush last summer.

Really?
Only three?

Mad keen on jam making,
Carol is.

-Yeah?
-Oh, yeah.

And sewing, knitting.

She´s actually been teaching me
how to knit.

We´re communicating much better,
I think.

We´ve been given
listening exercises to do

by the counselor.

Listening to the other person

is a crucial part
of any relationship.

What?

You want to get yourself
off somewhere nice.

You know what I´d do?

I´d go to Norway on a cruise.

I´ve always had this fantasy
of lying naked in the snow

with a big, blond
Scandinavian man --

you know, a Viking type --
watching the northern lights.

When you´re retired, you´ve got
the time to do these things.

Me and Alan
were thinking about Weymouth.

That one.

It´s got more babies.

Oh, John.
Hi.

-Hi!
-[ Chuckles ]

-How´s the bike?
-Yeah, good.

So -- So,
what are you doing here?

Oh, getting my vegetables
from the farm shop.

They´re all locally sourced,
so...

This is Sarah.

It´s actually Sara.

Yeah. Um...
[ Clears throat ]

I told you about Sara
from the cycling club.

The over-60s cycling club?

Well, we were out the other day,

and, uh,
she was at the side of the road.

-She had a puncture.
-SARA: Came to my rescue.

Fixed my tire, readjusted
my seat, sorted out my gears.

I mean, he´s multitalented.

He´s got a great singing voice,
too, hasn´t he?

-Has he?
-SARA: Oh, yeah.

He was singing us all sorts
of things to keep us going.

He´s a cheerful soul,
aren´t you, John?

Always looking to make friends,
he is.

Just report him to the police if
it starts to feel like stalking.

Oh, no.
No, it´s great to meet people.

We just moved into the area.

Across the road from Joyce.

-Oh, that´s brave of you.
-That´s what I said.

Well, we decided we wanted
the kids to grow up by the sea.

London is
just too claustrophobic.

You´ve moved up from London?

SARA: Yeah.

I think Joyce is gonna love
retirement, don´t you?

Yeah.

You know, I was thinking.

You know, you´ve bought her
a present from both of us,

and she´ll love that,
but that´s from you, really.

I should get her
something from me.

Something warm and personal.

-You know.
-Yeah?

So what if, tomorrow,
at the party...

-Yeah?
-...I give her an assessment

of her annuities
and pension options?

-She´d like that.
-You think?

-Yeah.
-Oh.

-Trevor?
-Yes?

We´ve got some time now,
haven´t we, to do things,

and you´ve been careful
with our money.

Yes, I have.

The secret
is buying in the troughs

and selling at the peaks.

It sounds easy, but, you know,

you´ve got to know
what you´re doing.

What do you think
about a Norwegian cruise?

Oh.
That sounds interesting.

We could see
the northern lights.

Just lie in the snow
looking up at the stars.

We´d need plenty of layers on.

Oh.

Mm.

Joy? Joy, have you met
your new neighbor?

Sarah has just moved in
across the road from you.

-Oh, hi.
-Hi. It´s actually Sara.

Oh, I´m sorry.
[ Chuckles ]

Sara is a much nicer name,
isn´t it?

I told her
she´s got to meet the gang.

Oh, don´t know
what she´s done to deserve that.

This is Joyce.
She´s having a party tomorrow.

She should come along,
shouldn´t she?

Yeah.
The more the merrier.

She´s up from London.

I couldn´t crash your party.

Oh, Sara, you are coming,
and that´s that.

Well, that is very kind.
[ Chuckles ]

-See you tomorrow, then.
-Bye.

Bye.

Lovely girl, she is.

I feel like
we´ve got a connection...

´cause of the London thing

and because she´s got
the same ass I had 30 years ago.

[ The Who´s "My Generation"
plays ]

♫ People try to put us d-down ♫

♫ Talkin´ about my generation ♫

Do you want me to do anything?

No.
I´m doing all the work, Joyce.

It´s my treat.

Now, where do you keep
your big pans?

-Hi.
-Hi.

And a chopping knife.

Is this a chopping board?

Uh, no, that´s a tray.

Oh, it looks like
a chopping board, doesn´t it?

Have you got a chopping board?

You know, I could do that.

No, Joyce,
I don´t want you to do anything.

You go and have fun.

I´m totally self-sufficient
here...

-once I get the blender.
-[ Sighs ]

-Uh...
-Carol?

-CAROL: Mm?
-Why don´t I have a go

for five minutes,
get it started,

and you can go and help out
in the other room?

But I´ve got the recipe.

Yeah, but you can
still be helpful in there.

Doing what?

Well, making sure
the drinks are topped up.

Hi. Making sure
the nibble bowls are full.

-Okay, but then we swap back.
-Yeah.

We can do it
on a tag-team basis.

Exactly.

Now, it´s quite straightforward
except that one of the kids

will go into an anaphylactic
shock if they eat any peanuts.

-Which one?
-Can´t remember.

♫ Why don´t you all
f-fade away? ♫

♫ Talkin´ about my generation ♫

Hey. It´s going well, this,
isn´t it?

-I think so.
-Bit quiet, though.

You know, it would be nice
to get people going a bit.

Bit of dancing, you know.

Joyce doesn´t want them
to get going too much.

Dancing could be fatal
for some of them.

I don´t know how we´re
gonna get by without Joyce.

The NHS is gonna grind
to a halt...

although some would say
it already has.

[ Both laugh ]

Yeah, Pat,
you all right for a drink?

Oh, yes, thanks.
Love the champagne.

Huh.
Well, actually, it´s cava.

Can´t tell the difference,
can you?

No, it´s champagne.

I´ve just seen
it poured from the bottle.

TREVOR:
Joyce will appreciate it.

Oh, she will. She´ll want
a proper grasp of it,

certainly with all the changes
to annuities

that they´re bringing in.

Well, you should tell her.

TREVOR:
Well, I think later.

I think now.

CAROL: [ Laughs ]

Watch him, Trev.

That´s the local Viagra dealer.

What?

I´m joking, mate.

He is single, though.

I don´t think
we´re at that stage.

Nobody ever thinks they´re at
that stage until it´s too late.

Keep an eye on him, Trev.

It´ll start out

with an innocent-looking
cocktail sausage,

and before you know,

it´ll have grown
into something a lot bigger.

They´re not cocktail sausages.

They´re spring rolls.

-Hi.
-Oh, brilliant.

-You came.
-SARA: Yeah.

This is Inga and Alf;

-my husband, Dan.
-Hello.

I hope Joyce
doesn´t mind us crashing.

Oh, she´ll love it.

Everybody´s very friendly
´round here.

That is the main difference
that I noticed

when I moved up from London.

Everybody´s so quaint.

Hey, I thought
we said no champagne.

It´s only a couple of bottles,
Alan.

Are we not allowed
a couple of bottles?

I´m retiring today.

I think
I deserve a little celebration.

What are you doing?

-I´m making a peanut satay.
-What are you doing that for?

Because Carol says
we have to have a peanut satay

and a chili dipping sauce
with her Vietnamese nibbles,

and one of them
has got to be non-peanut,

´cause one of Sara´s kids
has got a peanut allergy

and the other one
can´t eat gluten.

I mean,
why bring them out anywhere

if there´s a risk of death

every time you open
a bag of bloody crisps?

-Who´s Sara?
-She´s some woman

I don´t even know
from across the road.

-What did you invite her for?
-I didn´t!

Ahh!
That´s better.

What are you up to?

Oh, I´m gonna put up
Lee´s old train set.

Oh, his little train set.

Oh, he used to love
his little trains, didn´t he?

But I´m just wondering, Alan.

I´m just wondering
why you are putting it out

in the middle
of my retirement party.

Well, obviously
there´s a reason.

Oh, yeah.
There must be a reason.

Like there´s probably a reason
I am standing

in the middle of my kitchen
covered in peanut paste

rather than celebrating
my retirement

in the refined surroundings
of the Marriott Hotel.

-Well, yeah.
-No, that´s all right, Alan.

You don´t have to tell me now
because I´m a bit busy.

But I tell you what.

Why don´t we make an appointment
and talk about it later?

Let me see.

Ooh, look.

There´s a window in my diary
just come up,

and it starts
on Monday morning at 9:00

and finishes when I´m dead!

Does that work for you?

Crisp?

Do you want me to run
the tribute video now?

Uh, no.
Perhaps leave it a bit longer.

Right. Just give us a shout
when you´re ready.

Now, listen -- What is that?

Oh, it´s Lee´s old train set.

Okay. Yeah, but, listen,
just to warn you --

I´ve connected your amp,

and I´m going to ramp up
the sound a bit.

Hey, it´s a celebration
for Joyce.

We´ve got to keep everybody
up and buzzing.

Yeah, we don´t want to get
everybody too worked up.

I´m not talking wife swapping,
Alan.

I´m just saying
let´s get everyone going.

Yeah, I will do.

Hi, there!

You having a nice time?

Yeah, I´m having a great time.

I´ve been giving her
the lowdown,

a bit of local knowledge.

Not that I´m a local,
as you know.

Yes.

So, what are you gonna do with
yourself now you´re retired?

Ooh, I haven´t really
thought about that yet, Sara.

I´m really jealous.

I wish we could
just give it all up

and indulge ourselves like that.

You know -- just do nothing.

I would take the kids
on a ´round-the-world trip.

Me and Dan both feel
very strongly it´s important

to expose them
to alien cultures.

Well, you´ve come
to the right place, then.

-Norfolk.
-Oh. [ Laughs ]

No, it´s lovely here.

The coast
is so beautiful and windswept.

It´s like being in a scene
from "The Piano."

More like "Cocoon."

It´s great for the children

to mix with people
from your generation.

It gives them
a different perspective.

It´s like living history
for them.

You could tell them what London
was like in the Blitz.

How amazing would that be?

I don´t think
I remember the Blitz, Sara.

Might need to ask Maureen
about that.

Sara is home-educating
Alfie and...

-Inga.
-Inga.

That´s interesting, isn´t it?

SARA: Yeah. We don´t like
to set boundaries for them.

I wish
we´d home-educated our Mark.

Didn´t learn nothing
at that school of his.

She likes ornaments, does she?

Oh, kids will find fun
in anything.

We like to let them experiment.

It´s good for their imagination.

[ Glass shatters ]

Oh.
Time for Inga´s banana.

She´s very nice.

[ The Animals´ "House
of the Rising Sun" plays ]

♫ There is... ♫

Yeah, I´ve got that.
[ Chuckles ]

-And not too loud.
-No worries.

When are you doing
this surprise tribute video?

I don´t know.
I was gonna surprise you.

Well, I´ve got to know
when to serve the buffet.

-When do you want me to do it?
-Well, any time you want.

After people
have finished eating?

Oh, no, don´t wait for that.
We´ll be here all night.

-After the cake?
-No, people will be half asleep.

-How about now?
-No, too early.

-So when?
-Like I said, whenever you want.

Joyce, have we ever spoken
about annuities?

Not now, Trevor.

I´ll catch her later.

I would.

Check it out, dude.

Proper train set.

My son loved this
when he was your age.

He used to play on this thing
for hours.

Mate, is that awesome,
or is that super-awesome?

Yeah, Alf likes his iPod games,

so this will be a real
educational change-up for him.

Yeah, well, everything´s on
computers these days, isn´t it?

Yeah, of course it is.

Even our stuff is on computers.

I was looking for some photos
this week to put up today.

Uh, I was gonna do
like a photo-board thing.

You know -- special moments
from Joyce´s life.

-Oh, yeah, sure.
-Yeah, yeah, but the point is,

I couldn´t find anything
from the last 10 years

because everything´s
on the computer...

-or on the iCloud.
-Yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah, plus, with everything
being on the computer,

you´ve got to know the password
to access it.

-You can´t just hand them on.
-Exactly.

That´ll be the last conversation
you´ll have with Alf.

You´ll be on your deathbed,
and he´ll be like,

"Before you go, Dad,

there´s just three little words
I´d like to say to you --

What´s your password?"

♫ Is when he´s on a drunk ♫

It´s okay, mate.
Daddy´s not dying.

♫ Oh, oh, oh-oh ♫

♫ Ow ♫

[ Volume increases ]

♫ There she stood ♫

-[ Volume decreases ]
-♫ In the street ♫

♫ Smilin´ from her head
to her feet ♫

Is there any chance
we could have a word

about when you´ll be showing
the tribute video?

I just need to know
when to make my speech.

No problem.
I´ll give you a shout.

I´m really looking forward
to it.

Oh, it´s good, Trev.
You´ll love it.

Yeah, there´s music and credits
at the end and everything.

And no mushy stuff, you know.

I can´t stand it
when people get mushy.

-Do you know what I mean?
-Yeah.

Um, when do you want me
to do my bit?

What?

I haven´t done my bit yet.

Are you saving me for the end?

That´s the plan, Trevor, yeah.
Save you for the end.

What, just before the credits?

Just after.

How does that work?

-We´ll sort it out in a minute.
-Okay.

-No worries.
-All right.

I wouldn´t want to be
the only one missing.

[ Laughing ] No.
Oh, you´ll love this one.

-♫ ...time ♫
-♫ All of the time ♫

Hey.
You´ll like this.

-Do you know it?
-Dave Clark Five?

Proper music.

Yeah.

♫ I´m feeling ♫

♫ Glad all over ♫

♫ Yes, I´m ♫

♫ Glad all over ♫

♫ Baby, I´m ♫

Seeing your two reminds me
of when our Mark was little.

We used to take full advantage

of everything that growing up
in the big city had to offer,

as I´m sure you did yours.

We took him
to the first McDonald´s

when it opened in Woolwich.

Oh! They love their McDonald´s,
don´t they?

[ Chuckles ]
We´ve never been.

Alf and Inga are vegetarian.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, we only really
ever eat the chips.

Um, I think we ought
to be heading off.

-Inga´s getting a bit bored.
-Oh, don´t be silly.

Stay and chill out.

I know what it´s like looking
after small children, bless ´em.

It´s exhausting.

You don´t want to be
doing that all afternoon.

[ Chuckles ]
Oh, Joy.

Would you look after Inga?

SARA:
Oh, no, you don´t need to.

Oh, Joy don´t mind.
She´s brilliant with kids.

No peanuts.

Do you want some more wine?

Here we go.
Here´s Uncle Alan.

I´m not Uncle Alan.

Well, I can´t just say "Alan."
It sounds a bit threatening.

Not as threatening
as "Uncle Alan."

Have we got any DVDs
we could sit her in front of?

Well, I can´t take her ´round
with me.

-She might cop a stray peanut.
-Have a look in the cupboard.

Come on, sweetheart.

Let´s find you a DVD to watch.

I´ll have to check
it´s okay with my mum.

Oh, don´t worry about that.

You haven´t got any dodgy DVDs,
have you, Uncle Alan?

[ Sam & Dave´s
"Hold on, I´m Comin´" plays ]

What the British Invasion did

in terms of what it meant
for U.S. music...

Just wondering when we might
talk about the tribute video.

In a minute, love.

What it did was,
it reconnected them

to the blues roots of pop music.

You see, we got Scousers to
reinvent black music, basically.

Oh, it´s all right, Dan.
You can say "black."

They gave it to us,

and we gave it back to them
via the Mersey beat

and what have you
in a repackaged way, yeah.

Without Herman´s Hermits,
you wouldn´t have...

-What was the one you said?
-Rizzle Kicks.

Rizzle Kicks.

I never had one of these.

Look at the detail on that.

Underneath,
where you wouldn´t even see it.

This is what it´s all about,
isn´t it, retirement?

It´s not parties.

It´s not about sorting out
annuities and boring pensions.

It´s only money, isn´t it?

As long
as you´ve got your health

and you´re enjoying yourself,
nothing else matters.

-Thanks for that.
-What?

I´m trying to sort
these bloody kids out,

and you´re sitting here playing
with your bloody train set.

No, I´m not.

You´ve left me
to look after everyone again.

It´s my bloody party.

I´ve done nothing
but sort people out.

-You like sorting people out.
-No, I don´t.

I´d rather be
sitting here on my ass

playing silly buggers like you.

I´ll, um,
check on the patio heater.

You´ve embarrassed Trevor now.

I haven´t embarrassed Trevor.

I´ve embarrassed you!

MAUREEN: Joyce?

Joy, we´ve got
a little bit of a problem.

What´s the matter, sweetheart?

She´s been watching DVDs
on her own.

Well, I looked through them all.
There were no dodgy ones.

Yeah,
but you didn´t stay with her

and help her understand
what she was watching.

Well, I showed her
how the remote control works.

I like to check everything
my children are going to watch.

I promise you
there´s nothing in this house

that isn´t family-friendly.

I´ve got a grandchild myself,
and I wouldn´t allow it.

Yes, well, I´m sure you know
what´s best for them,

but I think
I´m probably the best person

to judge what´s right
for my children.

It´s only make-believe, love.

It´s a film.
It´s not real.

I think you´ll find
this is very real.

Alan!

Why have we got a film

of the liberation
of Belsen concentration camp

lying about in our DVD cupboard?

Well, it´s a documentary about
the end of the Second World War.

It´s the actual footage

shot by the Americans
who got there first.

It´s, uh, one of the first,
uh, color newsreel films.

I don´t know.

Look, I know
you´re doing your best,

but maybe you shouldn´t have
children ´round

if there aren´t
appropriate activities

for them to engage with.

[ Breathes deeply ]

Well, that´s nice of you
to point it out,

and I´ll certainly bear it
in mind.

But in actual fact,

I never did invite
your children ´round, Sara.

You brought them ´round
off your own bat.

And quite honestly,
I´ve never seen

more badly behaved, obnoxious
children in my entire life,

and I´ve been to France.

Oh.

I´ll call you.

JOYCE: [ Sighs ]

All I´ve done
is have people dictating to me.

"These are the people
that are coming ´round."

"This is the food we´re having."

"This is
the drinks we´re serving."

All right, calm down, Joyce.

I think you´re overreacting.
It´s only a party.

Well, why couldn´t
we have hired a hall out?

That´s what other people do.

Or gone out for a nice meal,

-just me and you.
-We couldn´t do that.

Or treated ourselves
to a nice week in Spain.

-We couldn´t do it, Joyce.
-Why not?

-Because --
-Because what?

Because we can´t afford it.

My annuity
has come up a bit short.

This is the best I can do
for the minute.

Do you mean
we haven´t got any money?

No, of course we have.
Just not as much as we thought.

-That´s all.
-Well, what are we gonna do?

Am I gonna have
to go back to work?

-No.
-Alan, look at me.

Is this a retirement party,
or is it not a retirement party?

It´s not a retirement party.

Oh, thank God for that.

-You all right?
-Yeah.

Is she all right?

It´s always a struggle
when you move to a new area.

Yeah, not everyone
is as adaptable as us, love.

I know.
We´re very lucky like that.

We fit in anywhere,
don´t we, babe?

We do.

I wouldn´t mind having her ass,
though.

Oh, don´t be daft.
I´m not interested in that.

I don´t care what you look like.
Doesn´t matter to me.

Obviously it does matter to me,
uh, but it´s not...

What I´m saying is...

you´ve got a lovely ass.

♫ Then I saw her face ♫

♫ Now I´m a believer ♫

♫ Not a trace ♫

♫ Of doubt in my mind ♫

Oh, Alan!

You´ve done me a tribute video.

♫ I´m a believer ♫

Uh, hi, Joyce.
Uh, Alan here.

Um, I´m very proud of you,

and, uh, I want you to know

that whatever you decide to do
with the rest of our lives...

-[ Laughter ]
-Aww!

-...um, I´m behind you 100%.
-Oh.

[ Chuckles ]

What are we going
to do about the presents?

MAUREEN:
I´m getting a bit emotional.

Look, I´m glad you´re retiring

because then you can spend
more time shopping with me

and, uh, anyway, deep down,
I know you´re a lazy cow

and it´ll suit you
down to the ground.

Oh. Mm.

-There you go.
-JOHN: Hey, Joyce.

Hope you like the video.
It´s cost Al a fortune.

Anyway, listen...

happy retirement, kid.

[ Smooches ]
Um, can I just stop you there?

There´s something I want to say.

-Can I just go first, Joyce?
-And --

I´ve just got a few words to say
at this point.

-Good luck, Joyce.
-Ah, thank you, Pat.

And don´t forget -- If you ever
need a doctor´s appointment,

well, don´t come to us
´cause we´re all bloody useless.

-[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, well...

But in recognition
of all your years of service,

we´ve all clubbed together

and raised £75 towards
your dream Caribbean cruise.

Oh, thank you.

And thanks, everyone,
for coming,

but I´ve got a little bit of
an announcement I want to make.

I´m not retiring.

So, Pat, if you and the gang
will have me back,

I can put off this nightmare
for another year or two.

Ah! [ Laughs ]

JOYCE: Oh.

You´d better have this back now.

-Oh, I can´t take it back.
-Oh, course you can.

Everybody else is.

Joyce, I didn´t get a chance

to say something
on the tribute video,

but if I had,
it would be something like this.

We all love you, Joyce,

and we´ll all be there for you
whenever you need us.

We´ve been doing communication
in counseling.

-Mm-hmm.
-JOHN: [ Sniffles ]

-[ Clears throat ]
-You all right?

Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

I thought you didn´t want it
to be too syrupy.

-I didn´t.
-PAT: Alan.

-Mm?
-Excuse me.

JOYCE: Alan.

Give it back, Alan.

[ The Kinks´ "Sunny Afternoon"
plays ]

♫ The tax man´s
taken all my dough ♫

♫ And left me
in my stately home ♫

♫ Lazing on a sunny afternoon ♫

♫ And I can´t sail my yacht ♫

♫ He´s taken
everything I´ve got ♫

♫ All I´ve got
is this sunny afternoon ♫

♫ Save me, save me,
save me from this squeeze ♫