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We are back, bitches!
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Ba-bam!
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Yeah!
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We are subjecting ourselves
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to another season of punishment
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for your enjoyment.
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That's right. That's right.
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I hope you all enjoy it, 'cause
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we're back, baby.
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But before we jump headfirst
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into season 2, we wanted to take
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a few minutes to talk to you
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about some of our favorite
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moments.
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Let's relive some of the
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horror.
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Excellent. Excellent.
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The show is torturous enough
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where we never know what we have
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to say or do.
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It's 10 times worse when we
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think we know, we think we've
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got a handle on what's about to
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happen, and then something
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changes.
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You don't know what's coming,
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and your friends do.
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Right. And everybody could be
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involved in it.
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Like, the crew, the camera
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guy... everybody could know but
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me.
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We have got q's dad to come here
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today.
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Q has no idea.
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If you think it's hard for us to
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say these things to strangers,
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the only way we can top
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ourselves is if we have to speak
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it to our own parents.
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Here he is. Here he is.
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What the?
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What am I supposed to do,
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pretend this isn't my father?
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Dad, what are you doing here?
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All right.
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Here we go.
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Well, what can I help you with,
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sir?
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Three hamburgers.
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Three burgers?
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"Let me ask you a question,
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pops... you and mom still poke?"
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"What's up, pops?
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You and mom still poke?"
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Everybody settle down.
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Do you and mom...
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I knew it. He can't do it.
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I can't breathe.
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It's impossible.
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Do it!
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You understand I have to...
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So, with that, do you and mom...
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So is that to stay or to go,
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dad?
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Oh!
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Stay? Okay.
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All right, pop, well, here's
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your change.
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So, what do you say, dad?
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Can I get a tip?
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That's the tip I get.
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My father didn't tip me.
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I have, in my life, had a lot of
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moments of confusion.
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Like, almost every day, I wake
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up, and I'm like, "where am I?
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Who am I?
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What's going on?"
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But when my father walked into
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the store and my mind didn't
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jump to, "oh, the guys brought
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him in."
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My mind jumped to, like, "why is
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my dad here?"
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He just randomly was there.
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I was trying to figure out,
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like, yeah, things to... to come
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up with... "oh, he's hungry for
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white castle.
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He didn't know... he just came
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to visit me today."
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Your dad lives nowhere near
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that white castle.
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I know... he lives 200 miles
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away.
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For my book punishment, what
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I was told was that there would
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be an excerpt of very personal
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details from my life that I may
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or may not be very upset about.
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When you watch the episode,
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you'll see me sitting in a
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chair, looking like I'm this
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close to projectile vomiting.
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We're here at the bookstore
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to punish sal.
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And congrats, buddy.
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You are the author of a
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brand-new book.
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We have set up a book reading
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downstairs with a bunch of
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people from a book club, and
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they're here to meet the author.
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Okay, so what sal doesn't
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know is that his book is
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completely blank.
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He's gonna have to make it up
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as he goes along.
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Hi, everyone. How are you?
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My name is sal vulcano.
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I'm a new author.
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This is my first published work.
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And I was gonna read an excerpt
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for you guys from the book
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today.
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The book is called
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"keeping the faith: My battle
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with chronic flatulence."
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It's a very raw book.
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I don't pull any punches.
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Okay, so I'll begin.
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Yeah. Um, okay.
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Uh...
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Just making sure they marked the
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right page for me.
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Yeah.
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Uh...
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It began when I was just a baby.
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The nurses and doctors, they
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suspected that there may be an
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internal intestinal issue
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because they heard many noises
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coming from the baby area.
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Yeah.
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People would make fun of me, and
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the only answer I had was
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flatulence.
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But I did get an operation.
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The operation backfired.
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I flatulate twice as much now,
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and it seems like a cruel joke
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that is being played on me.
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Is there any questions?
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What was the name of the
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operation?
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Uh...
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Oh, man, it was...
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Yeah, it was awhile ago.
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It's a long word.
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Let's go with flatulectomy.
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My favorite is that he
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couldn't find the words
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"maternity ward," and he said
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"in the baby area."
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Oh, that's what he means?
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I thought he meant the... the
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baby area.
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No.
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I just...
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If you are not a screaming
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pervert, then "baby area"...
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Means what it's supposed to
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mean.
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Right, right, right.
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No, it was your hand
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gestures... you did "the baby
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area."
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Stop doing that.
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Murr, the heart sees what it
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wants.
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Well, the bipolar magnetic
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reversal theory... how do you
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even... what did you Google to
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get that combination of words?
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I thought of every big word
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that I could, and I just started
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arranging them.
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Oh, that's not a real thing?
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No.
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So, we've got a short
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powerpoint presentation called
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"social networking and you!"
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Uh, okay.
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Social networking is based on
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the same exact core principle as
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bipolar magnetic reversal
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theory.
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What is bipolar magnetic
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reversal theory?
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Anyone know?
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Is, uh...
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So, bipolar... two opposite
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things.
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Reversal...
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Social networking is the same as
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that.
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My favorite part of that
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punishment is the microphone by
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your eyeball.
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It kept sliding out.
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A yellow Mike right here by
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your eye.
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Yellow thing right on his
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face the entire time.
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You... we found a way to up
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your douche quotient.
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I was frozen.
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I had nothing to say that was
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clever, so I did the gesture.
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This explains nothing.
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Well, when I... when I took out
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the book and it said
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"Portuguese"...
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Yeah.
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I know that Portuguese is
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close to Spanish.
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It's hard enough to fake talk,
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but to fake sing, it's even
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harder.
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Even in English, you can't
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sing, so...
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Let's see what we are
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teaching today.
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Okay, so... oh, Portuguese.
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So, we're gonna do some
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Portuguese today.
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Okay.
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Right now I'd like to...
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"Sing a Portuguese love song
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to you."
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sing a Portuguese love
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song.
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Let me think which one I want to
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sing 'cause I know so many
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Portuguese love songs.
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She looks shell-shocked.
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My American love song is even
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worse.
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She had an amused look on her
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face.
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I thought she was enjoying it.
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No, it wasn't amusement...
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More like, "is this guy for
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serious?"
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Bewilderment.
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Yeah, like, where... "how do
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I call security in this place?"
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You abandoned our trick,
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which I taught you one day,
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which was to say real things but
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make it sound...
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Like what?
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Like...
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"The car is
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parked in the street-o."
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What?
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"The car is parked in the
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street."
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Like, you just say it, but you
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make it sound really...
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That's not as good of a trick
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as you think it was, 'cause I
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clearly heard you say, "the car
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is parked in the street-o."
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Narrator: Coming up...
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If somebody whispered to my
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food, I wouldn't eat it.
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Narrator: Sal's sweet talk
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gets a sour reaction.
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You're a good little tart.
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Narrator: And later...
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The guys offer lap dances in the
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park in a lost scene from
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season 1.
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They go through so many
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emotions... the people on our
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show... confusion, anger...
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Excitement.
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Excitement.
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Hysterics.
292
00:08:22,854 --> 00:08:24,720
I don't know how I would react
293
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,820
to someone whispering to my
294
00:08:26,821 --> 00:08:27,321
food.
295
00:08:27,321 --> 00:08:28,254
I guess if someone was putting
296
00:08:28,254 --> 00:08:29,188
their mouth close to my food,
297
00:08:29,221 --> 00:08:30,520
talking, I wouldn't like it.
298
00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:31,421
A raspberry tart?
299
00:08:31,422 --> 00:08:32,553
Whisper to the tart.
300
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,554
Be the tart whisperer.
301
00:08:35,988 --> 00:08:38,587
You're a good little tart.
302
00:08:38,588 --> 00:08:39,853
You're gonna go.
303
00:08:39,854 --> 00:08:41,253
You're a good little tart.
304
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:41,688
Shh.
305
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:42,388
Come here.
306
00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:44,254
What else?
307
00:08:44,288 --> 00:08:44,854
A cannoli?
308
00:08:44,855 --> 00:08:46,753
One mini one?
309
00:08:46,754 --> 00:08:47,754
You're gonna go home with this
310
00:08:47,755 --> 00:08:48,787
girl, and she's gonna eat you,
311
00:08:48,788 --> 00:08:49,920
and you're feel full.
312
00:08:49,921 --> 00:08:51,721
Yes?
313
00:08:53,754 --> 00:08:56,788
Remember what I said.
314
00:08:57,254 --> 00:08:59,287
Don't talk to the cannoli?
315
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:02,087
Sorry.
316
00:09:02,088 --> 00:09:02,588
Don't worry.
317
00:09:02,588 --> 00:09:03,588
She's gonna be all right.
318
00:09:05,288 --> 00:09:06,353
If somebody whispered to my
319
00:09:06,354 --> 00:09:07,288
food, I wouldn't eat it.
320
00:09:07,288 --> 00:09:07,988
I wouldn't eat it.
321
00:09:07,989 --> 00:09:09,087
I would.
322
00:09:09,088 --> 00:09:10,153
I got that last whisper in,
323
00:09:10,154 --> 00:09:11,088
and she still took them.
324
00:09:11,089 --> 00:09:12,187
Well, at that point, I think
325
00:09:12,188 --> 00:09:13,188
she knew she was outmatched.
326
00:09:13,188 --> 00:09:13,988
Right.
327
00:09:13,989 --> 00:09:15,353
Hands down, best reaction
328
00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:16,387
ever... moustache guy.
329
00:09:16,388 --> 00:09:17,888
Yes.
330
00:09:20,588 --> 00:09:21,720
You're gonna hit the next
331
00:09:21,721 --> 00:09:22,621
customer with a "hey,
332
00:09:22,622 --> 00:09:24,353
moustache."
333
00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:27,587
I'm sorry, moustache. I'm...
334
00:09:27,588 --> 00:09:30,620
Don't call you...
335
00:09:30,621 --> 00:09:31,687
See, I couldn't even do it,
336
00:09:31,688 --> 00:09:32,188
moustache.
337
00:09:32,189 --> 00:09:34,153
I had to...
338
00:09:34,154 --> 00:09:35,653
I wasn't speaking to you.
339
00:09:35,654 --> 00:09:38,287
I was speaking to her.
340
00:09:38,288 --> 00:09:39,154
"Don't call me 'clown.'"
341
00:09:39,155 --> 00:09:41,520
well, don't call me "clown."
342
00:09:41,521 --> 00:09:42,254
"Don't call me 'clown, '
343
00:09:42,254 --> 00:09:42,721
moustache."
344
00:09:42,721 --> 00:09:43,488
All right, moustache.
345
00:09:43,488 --> 00:09:44,421
Don't call me "clown" is all i'm
346
00:09:44,454 --> 00:09:45,520
saying.
347
00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:47,320
I am not in an Alpha-male-like
348
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,353
thing, where I'm just like,
349
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:49,288
"what's up, moustache?"
350
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,620
I'm, like, trying to avoid eye
351
00:09:50,621 --> 00:09:51,121
contact.
352
00:09:51,122 --> 00:09:52,687
I'm giving all the signs of a
353
00:09:52,688 --> 00:09:53,820
whipped, beaten dog.
354
00:09:53,821 --> 00:09:55,087
I'm just trying to get it out
355
00:09:55,088 --> 00:09:55,854
without a physical
356
00:09:55,854 --> 00:09:56,588
confrontation.
357
00:09:56,588 --> 00:09:57,521
I like how you really
358
00:09:57,522 --> 00:09:58,720
completely punked out, though.
359
00:09:58,721 --> 00:09:59,820
When he got, like, really
360
00:09:59,821 --> 00:10:01,053
aggressive, you blamed the old
361
00:10:01,054 --> 00:10:02,054
lady.
362
00:10:02,121 --> 00:10:04,653
Her reaction, too... "hmm?!"
363
00:10:04,654 --> 00:10:05,621
How about the guy that jumped
364
00:10:05,622 --> 00:10:07,087
on the couch in the apartment?
365
00:10:07,088 --> 00:10:07,721
Yeah, right?
366
00:10:07,722 --> 00:10:08,820
'Cause he was something else.
367
00:10:08,821 --> 00:10:10,253
He played ball, man.
368
00:10:10,254 --> 00:10:11,453
Okay, let's see if murr can
369
00:10:11,454 --> 00:10:12,188
bag a roomie.
370
00:10:12,188 --> 00:10:13,054
Hi, man.
371
00:10:13,054 --> 00:10:13,721
Hey. How you doing?
372
00:10:13,722 --> 00:10:14,987
James. Nice to meet you.
373
00:10:14,988 --> 00:10:15,888
How are you? What's your name?
374
00:10:15,888 --> 00:10:16,421
Sidan.
375
00:10:16,421 --> 00:10:17,354
Thanks for coming by.
376
00:10:17,354 --> 00:10:18,088
Yeah, no problem.
377
00:10:18,088 --> 00:10:19,021
What do you do, man?
378
00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:19,854
I do stocks in the
379
00:10:19,854 --> 00:10:20,521
neighborhood.
380
00:10:20,522 --> 00:10:21,687
Murray, match his excitement.
381
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:22,887
I'm originally from
382
00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:23,521
borough park.
383
00:10:23,521 --> 00:10:24,154
Are you serious?
384
00:10:24,154 --> 00:10:24,821
Yeah!
385
00:10:24,821 --> 00:10:25,688
Get big, Murray.
386
00:10:25,688 --> 00:10:26,388
Yeah, man!
387
00:10:26,389 --> 00:10:27,453
That's awesome, bro!
388
00:10:27,454 --> 00:10:28,921
That's awesome!
389
00:10:31,621 --> 00:10:33,220
Murray doesn't know what to
390
00:10:33,221 --> 00:10:34,021
do right now.
391
00:10:34,022 --> 00:10:35,587
Murray is outmatched.
392
00:10:35,588 --> 00:10:37,087
And here we can totally have,
393
00:10:37,088 --> 00:10:38,220
like, parties out here.
394
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,753
We can... seriously, we can
395
00:10:39,754 --> 00:10:40,953
rock, man.
396
00:10:40,954 --> 00:10:42,320
You know what I mean?
397
00:10:42,321 --> 00:10:43,787
I love this guy.
398
00:10:43,788 --> 00:10:45,954
Jump over the furniture.
399
00:10:50,321 --> 00:10:52,621
You are the best!
400
00:10:57,054 --> 00:10:58,220
So what do you say?
401
00:10:58,221 --> 00:10:59,154
You want to move in?
402
00:10:59,155 --> 00:11:00,620
Yeah!
403
00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:01,687
And that was his real
404
00:11:01,688 --> 00:11:02,521
personality, man.
405
00:11:02,522 --> 00:11:03,753
He was so excited and so,
406
00:11:03,754 --> 00:11:05,453
like, animated, I'm like...
407
00:11:05,454 --> 00:11:07,720
There's never, in the world
408
00:11:07,721 --> 00:11:09,353
before that moment, has anyone
409
00:11:09,354 --> 00:11:10,321
been that excited to meet
410
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,321
Murray.
411
00:11:14,421 --> 00:11:16,320
Not only have we met a lot of
412
00:11:16,321 --> 00:11:17,587
fun people doing this show,
413
00:11:17,588 --> 00:11:18,853
we've made up a lot of fun
414
00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:19,854
people doing this show.
415
00:11:19,854 --> 00:11:20,654
Who do we got?
416
00:11:20,655 --> 00:11:22,353
We got Larry, Santiago,
417
00:11:22,354 --> 00:11:23,088
uncle clem.
418
00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:24,888
The cleanest uncle in town.
419
00:11:26,254 --> 00:11:28,920
Got a crazy message.
420
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:30,554
It's my uncle.
421
00:11:34,988 --> 00:11:36,287
He's been staying at my
422
00:11:36,288 --> 00:11:36,688
place.
423
00:11:36,688 --> 00:11:37,254
Yeah.
424
00:11:37,255 --> 00:11:38,320
And, you know, when I bring
425
00:11:38,321 --> 00:11:39,420
chicks over...
426
00:11:39,421 --> 00:11:40,720
Now uncle clem is living with
427
00:11:40,721 --> 00:11:41,088
me.
428
00:11:41,089 --> 00:11:42,554
I totally forgot to take it out.
429
00:11:43,121 --> 00:11:44,987
Oh, my
430
00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:45,988
oh, my god.
431
00:11:45,989 --> 00:11:48,088
Oh, no.
432
00:11:55,921 --> 00:11:57,687
There's no way to escape this
433
00:11:57,688 --> 00:11:58,121
now.
434
00:11:58,122 --> 00:11:59,421
We got him boxed in.
435
00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:01,587
All right, let's see what he
436
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:02,687
wants.
437
00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:07,588
So, he just wrote back...
438
00:12:20,421 --> 00:12:22,187
I love that you kept trying
439
00:12:22,188 --> 00:12:24,087
to get out of that, and then we
440
00:12:24,088 --> 00:12:25,521
just hit you with a recap.
441
00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:27,187
That was the best part of
442
00:12:27,188 --> 00:12:28,253
that bit for me, was that you
443
00:12:28,254 --> 00:12:29,453
kept... no matter what you could
444
00:12:29,454 --> 00:12:30,753
say, we could instantly pull the
445
00:12:30,754 --> 00:12:31,554
rug out underneath.
446
00:12:31,555 --> 00:12:33,087
But have you seen
447
00:12:33,088 --> 00:12:34,120
uncle clem's balls?
448
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,753
They are something.
449
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,287
I think Larry is, hands down,
450
00:12:37,288 --> 00:12:38,088
the favorite.
451
00:12:38,088 --> 00:12:38,588
Yeah.
452
00:12:38,621 --> 00:12:39,987
All: Larry!
453
00:12:39,988 --> 00:12:41,087
So, is there a specific price
454
00:12:41,088 --> 00:12:43,220
range you were looking at?
455
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,721
You want... I got to check.
456
00:12:46,121 --> 00:12:47,887
Larry? Larry?
457
00:12:47,888 --> 00:12:49,320
Larry!
458
00:12:49,321 --> 00:12:50,653
Larry! Larry!
459
00:12:50,654 --> 00:12:51,920
Larry!
460
00:12:51,921 --> 00:12:52,621
Larry?
461
00:12:52,622 --> 00:12:55,087
Larry, I need azlet, size 7!
462
00:12:55,088 --> 00:12:56,687
One more, as loud as you can.
463
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:57,987
Do it right in her face.
464
00:12:57,988 --> 00:13:00,121
Larry! 38!
465
00:13:01,588 --> 00:13:02,121
Larry!
466
00:13:02,122 --> 00:13:03,153
I need an 8 1/2!
467
00:13:03,154 --> 00:13:04,453
I was calling you, Larry!
468
00:13:04,454 --> 00:13:05,553
Larry!
469
00:13:05,554 --> 00:13:06,521
Larry!
470
00:13:06,522 --> 00:13:09,187
He's cutting the whole line
471
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,453
by simply shouting "Larry."
472
00:13:11,454 --> 00:13:12,720
Larry!
473
00:13:12,721 --> 00:13:13,988
Larry!
474
00:13:21,421 --> 00:13:21,888
Oh.
475
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:22,621
Not Larry?
476
00:13:22,621 --> 00:13:23,554
No, he's not Larry.
477
00:13:23,555 --> 00:13:25,187
Oh. That's a shame.
478
00:13:25,188 --> 00:13:26,387
Wasn't Larry.
479
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,087
"Larry" is the number-one
480
00:13:28,088 --> 00:13:29,088
thing I hear screamed at me when
481
00:13:29,088 --> 00:13:29,788
I walk down the street.
482
00:13:29,788 --> 00:13:30,288
Oh, yeah.
483
00:13:30,288 --> 00:13:31,188
I think they like Larry
484
00:13:31,188 --> 00:13:32,088
better than any of us.
485
00:13:32,088 --> 00:13:32,754
Larry's a real guy.
486
00:13:32,754 --> 00:13:33,221
Yeah.
487
00:13:33,222 --> 00:13:34,320
He's actually a member of our
488
00:13:34,321 --> 00:13:35,353
crew, the nicest guy in the
489
00:13:35,354 --> 00:13:35,721
world.
490
00:13:35,721 --> 00:13:36,621
He's so nice that we would
491
00:13:36,621 --> 00:13:37,221
scream at him.
492
00:13:37,221 --> 00:13:38,188
You can't help but yell at
493
00:13:38,188 --> 00:13:38,554
him.
494
00:13:38,555 --> 00:13:40,153
"Larry, where the 'f' is my
495
00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:40,688
sandwich?!"
496
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:41,753
And it just worked its way into
497
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:42,221
the show.
498
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:42,688
Larry!
499
00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:43,121
Larry!
500
00:13:43,154 --> 00:13:44,220
Larry!
501
00:13:44,221 --> 00:13:44,988
Narrator: Coming up...
502
00:13:44,989 --> 00:13:46,320
We didn't expect people to
503
00:13:46,321 --> 00:13:47,088
get so angry.
504
00:13:47,089 --> 00:13:48,187
Narrator: Sal sticks his
505
00:13:48,188 --> 00:13:49,420
fork where it doesn't belong.
506
00:13:49,421 --> 00:13:50,188
Are you crazy?
507
00:13:50,189 --> 00:13:51,220
Narrator: And later...
508
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,287
Sal and murr hit all the wrong
509
00:13:53,288 --> 00:13:53,788
notes...
510
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,087
♪ and years
511
00:13:55,088 --> 00:13:56,187
narrator: In a bonus scene
512
00:13:56,188 --> 00:13:58,088
from season 1.
513
00:14:07,821 --> 00:14:09,220
There are some moments of our
514
00:14:09,221 --> 00:14:10,420
show that are so shocking, it
515
00:14:10,421 --> 00:14:11,653
literally brings the show to a
516
00:14:11,654 --> 00:14:12,787
standstill and surprises the
517
00:14:12,788 --> 00:14:13,788
hell out of us, too, right?
518
00:14:13,789 --> 00:14:14,853
Either that we're surprised
519
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,120
or we're... we think we're gonna
520
00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:16,621
get killed.
521
00:14:16,621 --> 00:14:17,088
Yeah.
522
00:14:17,621 --> 00:14:18,687
I couldn't believe what was
523
00:14:18,688 --> 00:14:19,753
going on in that room when you
524
00:14:19,754 --> 00:14:20,654
started stealing food off
525
00:14:20,654 --> 00:14:21,321
people's plates.
526
00:14:21,321 --> 00:14:22,221
We almost got thrown out of
527
00:14:22,221 --> 00:14:22,788
the whole place.
528
00:14:22,788 --> 00:14:23,654
That word... the only word
529
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:24,753
for that is "mayhem."
530
00:14:24,754 --> 00:14:25,787
Let's go, fearless.
531
00:14:25,788 --> 00:14:27,288
Oh, my god, my favorite,
532
00:14:27,321 --> 00:14:28,487
y'all.
533
00:14:28,488 --> 00:14:29,688
Love it.
534
00:14:35,688 --> 00:14:36,787
Look at her face!
535
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:38,754
She doesn't know what to do.
536
00:14:41,854 --> 00:14:42,920
Here he goes.
537
00:14:42,921 --> 00:14:46,820
Oh!
538
00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:49,120
Loco, boss?
539
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,287
Are you crazy?
540
00:14:51,288 --> 00:14:53,254
Hey, hey, hey.
541
00:14:54,288 --> 00:14:55,387
No, no, no, I just wanted...
542
00:14:55,388 --> 00:14:56,787
Where did you find this one?
543
00:14:56,788 --> 00:14:58,754
It's my favorite.
544
00:15:00,854 --> 00:15:02,087
There's mayhem going on out
545
00:15:02,088 --> 00:15:02,421
here.
546
00:15:02,422 --> 00:15:03,621
There's complete mayhem.
547
00:15:05,954 --> 00:15:08,120
The amount of dirty looks
548
00:15:08,121 --> 00:15:08,988
that are getting thrown your
549
00:15:08,988 --> 00:15:09,988
way...
550
00:15:11,588 --> 00:15:12,887
We didn't expect people to
551
00:15:12,888 --> 00:15:13,454
get so angry.
552
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:14,354
I figured, I'll kill them
553
00:15:14,354 --> 00:15:14,888
with kindness.
554
00:15:14,888 --> 00:15:15,354
Yeah.
555
00:15:15,354 --> 00:15:16,288
Get out of there, and I'll
556
00:15:16,288 --> 00:15:17,188
leave them in confusion, not
557
00:15:17,188 --> 00:15:17,721
contempt, right?
558
00:15:17,721 --> 00:15:18,554
But...
559
00:15:18,554 --> 00:15:19,354
That's not what happened.
560
00:15:19,354 --> 00:15:19,954
No, that is not.
561
00:15:19,955 --> 00:15:21,320
Oh, my god, my favorite,
562
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:21,821
y'all.
563
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:22,554
Right.
564
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,720
There's an added level to the
565
00:15:23,721 --> 00:15:24,753
whole thing when the general
566
00:15:24,754 --> 00:15:25,754
public gets involved, 'cause you
567
00:15:25,754 --> 00:15:26,754
don't know how far along they'll
568
00:15:26,754 --> 00:15:27,154
play.
569
00:15:27,154 --> 00:15:28,088
Yeah, anything can happen.
570
00:15:28,088 --> 00:15:28,754
Anything can happen.
571
00:15:28,754 --> 00:15:29,188
Yeah.
572
00:15:29,188 --> 00:15:30,154
You know, they could decide
573
00:15:30,154 --> 00:15:31,154
they want to smell a dog's butt
574
00:15:31,154 --> 00:15:31,621
that day.
575
00:15:31,622 --> 00:15:32,953
Yeah, right, right, right.
576
00:15:32,954 --> 00:15:34,520
Take a puppy out of the cage,
577
00:15:34,521 --> 00:15:35,088
Joe...
578
00:15:35,088 --> 00:15:35,521
Mm-hmm.
579
00:15:35,522 --> 00:15:37,953
And smell its ass.
580
00:15:37,954 --> 00:15:39,087
He's gonna do it, I'm telling
581
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:41,187
you.
582
00:15:41,188 --> 00:15:42,154
I think this is the right
583
00:15:42,154 --> 00:15:42,521
one.
584
00:15:42,988 --> 00:15:44,787
Ohh!!
585
00:15:44,788 --> 00:15:46,120
No, I just...
586
00:15:46,121 --> 00:15:47,320
You make sure, you know.
587
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,753
That's how you tell who's who.
588
00:15:48,754 --> 00:15:49,754
Right, Melissa?
589
00:15:51,988 --> 00:15:53,187
You know, they have different
590
00:15:53,188 --> 00:15:53,621
smells.
591
00:15:53,621 --> 00:15:54,621
Go ahead.
592
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:58,320
Ohh!
593
00:15:58,321 --> 00:16:00,087
What are people thinking?
594
00:16:00,088 --> 00:16:01,353
Wow!
595
00:16:01,354 --> 00:16:02,453
I love how you did it and,
596
00:16:02,454 --> 00:16:03,587
like, believed it all the way
597
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,088
through.
598
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:04,454
Yeah.
599
00:16:04,454 --> 00:16:05,288
"Oh, yeah, yeah."
600
00:16:05,289 --> 00:16:06,420
"Smell it."
601
00:16:06,421 --> 00:16:07,788
You're like, "oh, smell, honey."
602
00:16:09,088 --> 00:16:10,387
When we did the speed-dating
603
00:16:10,388 --> 00:16:11,653
challenge and your tooth fell
604
00:16:11,654 --> 00:16:12,388
out, oh...
605
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:13,354
It was insane.
606
00:16:13,354 --> 00:16:14,254
She didn't know what to do
607
00:16:14,254 --> 00:16:14,788
with herself.
608
00:16:14,788 --> 00:16:15,654
I didn't know what to do with
609
00:16:15,654 --> 00:16:16,654
myself.
610
00:16:17,154 --> 00:16:18,088
Hello.
611
00:16:18,089 --> 00:16:19,487
Hey, how are you?
612
00:16:19,488 --> 00:16:20,888
Start going way overboard
613
00:16:20,921 --> 00:16:21,987
flattering this girl.
614
00:16:21,988 --> 00:16:23,220
You are... let me tell you
615
00:16:23,221 --> 00:16:24,454
something... gorgeous.
616
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:29,320
G-o-r-r-g-o-u-z-s...
617
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,588
Gorrgouzs.
618
00:16:33,154 --> 00:16:34,088
His tooth fell out.
619
00:16:34,088 --> 00:16:34,688
It's his tooth.
620
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:35,853
His tooth's on the table.
621
00:16:35,854 --> 00:16:37,087
It fell on the table.
622
00:16:37,088 --> 00:16:37,854
That's his tooth.
623
00:16:37,854 --> 00:16:38,854
That's his tooth!
624
00:16:40,321 --> 00:16:40,988
That's awful.
625
00:16:40,988 --> 00:16:41,988
No. Don't worry about it.
626
00:16:41,988 --> 00:16:42,888
That's like...
627
00:16:42,888 --> 00:16:43,721
Be a pirate!
628
00:16:43,722 --> 00:16:44,887
Be a pirate!
629
00:16:44,888 --> 00:16:46,187
I'm like a pirate, like,
630
00:16:46,188 --> 00:16:48,820
"arr! Arr, Matey!"
631
00:16:48,821 --> 00:16:50,421
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
632
00:16:51,821 --> 00:16:53,087
Arr!
633
00:16:53,088 --> 00:16:54,287
Is that a common problem, or
634
00:16:54,288 --> 00:16:55,620
that just happened?
635
00:16:55,621 --> 00:16:56,887
It happens if I start talking
636
00:16:56,888 --> 00:16:57,388
too fast.
637
00:16:57,389 --> 00:16:59,220
It just... it projectiles out
638
00:16:59,221 --> 00:17:00,853
and just, like, bounces off
639
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,187
things and stuff like that.
640
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,197
A lot of sugary drinks as a
641
00:17:03,221 --> 00:17:04,287
child.
642
00:17:04,288 --> 00:17:05,121
Narrator: Coming up...
643
00:17:05,122 --> 00:17:06,653
There are some clips that did
644
00:17:06,654 --> 00:17:07,654
not make it to air.
645
00:17:07,655 --> 00:17:08,853
Narrator: The jokers' hips
646
00:17:08,854 --> 00:17:10,687
don't lie, in an exclusive bonus
647
00:17:10,688 --> 00:17:12,621
scene from season 1.
648
00:17:23,821 --> 00:17:25,320
There are some lines that we
649
00:17:25,321 --> 00:17:26,753
say on the show that just take a
650
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:27,654
life of their own.
651
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:28,987
They get thrown back at us on
652
00:17:28,988 --> 00:17:29,888
Twitter, Facebook.
653
00:17:29,889 --> 00:17:31,087
We hear them all the time.
654
00:17:31,088 --> 00:17:32,420
It is an odd thing walking
655
00:17:32,421 --> 00:17:33,820
down the street and have people
656
00:17:33,821 --> 00:17:35,287
scream at me to let them tittays
657
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,288
go.
658
00:17:36,988 --> 00:17:38,388
All: Before you start to
659
00:17:38,421 --> 00:17:39,953
blow.
660
00:17:39,954 --> 00:17:41,387
Women wear brassieres that
661
00:17:41,388 --> 00:17:42,521
could be obstructive or
662
00:17:42,554 --> 00:17:43,620
constricting.
663
00:17:43,621 --> 00:17:44,554
You might want to take off
664
00:17:44,554 --> 00:17:45,554
the brassiere.
665
00:17:46,188 --> 00:17:48,120
Because the rule is let them
666
00:17:48,121 --> 00:17:50,087
tittays go before you start to
667
00:17:50,088 --> 00:17:51,088
blow.
668
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:54,621
Yeah, okay, so...
669
00:17:55,688 --> 00:17:58,087
So, the rule is...
670
00:17:58,088 --> 00:17:59,920
You want to let them tittays go
671
00:17:59,921 --> 00:18:01,488
before you start to blow.
672
00:18:02,188 --> 00:18:04,953
Let's all say it.
673
00:18:04,954 --> 00:18:06,820
So, let's say it together.
674
00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:09,153
All: You want to let them
675
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,687
tittays go before you start to
676
00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:12,688
blow.
677
00:18:13,621 --> 00:18:15,187
It's funny how... sometimes,
678
00:18:15,188 --> 00:18:16,154
how these lines come about.
679
00:18:16,155 --> 00:18:17,187
They are made up in the moment,
680
00:18:17,188 --> 00:18:18,287
'cause you have to just talk and
681
00:18:18,288 --> 00:18:18,854
say something.
682
00:18:18,854 --> 00:18:19,654
Right. With, like,
683
00:18:19,655 --> 00:18:20,720
old English... how are you so
684
00:18:20,721 --> 00:18:21,887
well-versed in old English?
685
00:18:21,888 --> 00:18:22,454
I just play
686
00:18:22,455 --> 00:18:23,688
dungeons & dragons a lot.
687
00:18:24,754 --> 00:18:28,253
Good morrow, sir, and welcome
688
00:18:28,254 --> 00:18:30,953
to the castle of white!
689
00:18:30,954 --> 00:18:32,553
What's thou craving?
690
00:18:32,554 --> 00:18:34,887
Bring it to me, and I shall slay
691
00:18:34,888 --> 00:18:36,487
it!
692
00:18:36,488 --> 00:18:40,320
Two burgers of ham!
693
00:18:40,321 --> 00:18:44,853
Two burgers of cheese!
694
00:18:44,854 --> 00:18:50,121
Your wit, sir, is legendary!
695
00:18:52,421 --> 00:18:54,988
'Tis confusion!
696
00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:59,488
Squire!
697
00:19:00,454 --> 00:19:01,354
Sir?
698
00:19:01,355 --> 00:19:02,454
There's 53 cents.
699
00:19:02,488 --> 00:19:03,920
Oh!
700
00:19:03,921 --> 00:19:06,087
The most generous lord in all
701
00:19:06,088 --> 00:19:07,220
the land!
702
00:19:07,221 --> 00:19:09,353
I would love it if that was
703
00:19:09,354 --> 00:19:10,088
your real voice.
704
00:19:10,088 --> 00:19:11,088
We got to make the 8:00 A.M.
705
00:19:11,089 --> 00:19:12,388
Movie!
706
00:19:13,488 --> 00:19:14,421
It's popcorn I want!
707
00:19:14,422 --> 00:19:15,820
You'd be like, "shut up, dude."
708
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,120
And I'd be like, "all right."
709
00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:18,587
There are some clips that did
710
00:19:18,588 --> 00:19:19,554
not make it to air.
711
00:19:19,555 --> 00:19:20,853
Do we get to show it yet?
712
00:19:20,854 --> 00:19:22,087
Show the damn clip.
713
00:19:22,088 --> 00:19:23,088
Roll the clip.
714
00:19:27,221 --> 00:19:29,087
What you've got to do is
715
00:19:29,088 --> 00:19:30,988
stand up and say whatever we
716
00:19:31,088 --> 00:19:32,088
text you to say.
717
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:32,921
You sent it?
718
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,253
I sent it, yeah.
719
00:19:34,254 --> 00:19:35,254
Here it goes.
720
00:19:35,454 --> 00:19:39,820
One new message.
721
00:19:39,821 --> 00:19:40,721
When I was in the ninth
722
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,653
grade, my mom caught me in our
723
00:19:42,654 --> 00:19:44,320
laundry room pleasuring myself
724
00:19:44,321 --> 00:19:45,154
to a Kathy Ireland
725
00:19:45,155 --> 00:19:46,388
"swimsuit edition" magazine.
726
00:19:52,554 --> 00:19:54,620
So, we're here at a huge
727
00:19:54,621 --> 00:19:55,720
medical convention, and we've
728
00:19:55,721 --> 00:19:57,521
set up a fake booth with a fake
729
00:19:57,554 --> 00:19:58,720
company that we've made up.
730
00:19:58,721 --> 00:19:59,554
And we'll be telling them
731
00:19:59,555 --> 00:20:01,253
what to do and vice versa.
732
00:20:01,254 --> 00:20:02,054
How are you today?
733
00:20:02,054 --> 00:20:02,888
Have you heard of mcclelland
734
00:20:02,888 --> 00:20:03,521
before?
735
00:20:03,521 --> 00:20:03,954
No.
736
00:20:03,954 --> 00:20:04,721
Guys, sing... sing the
737
00:20:04,722 --> 00:20:06,287
company jingle for her.
738
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:06,921
Uh.
739
00:20:06,922 --> 00:20:08,853
Go ahead. Make one up.
740
00:20:08,854 --> 00:20:09,721
You might recognize the
741
00:20:09,721 --> 00:20:10,721
jingle.
742
00:20:10,722 --> 00:20:12,387
Um, it goes, uh...
743
00:20:12,388 --> 00:20:14,687
♪ mcclelland's, inc.
744
00:20:14,688 --> 00:20:16,453
♪ Here for you
745
00:20:16,454 --> 00:20:19,353
♪ from day to night, from month
746
00:20:19,354 --> 00:20:20,520
to year ♪
747
00:20:20,521 --> 00:20:22,587
♪ and years and years
748
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:24,953
and years ♪
749
00:20:24,954 --> 00:20:26,353
keep going. Keep going.
750
00:20:26,354 --> 00:20:28,587
♪ Mcclelland's, inc.
751
00:20:28,588 --> 00:20:32,453
♪ Nurses, doctors
752
00:20:32,454 --> 00:20:33,620
♪ rabbits?
753
00:20:33,621 --> 00:20:35,120
Not rabbits ♪
754
00:20:35,121 --> 00:20:37,187
♪ mcclelland's, inc.
755
00:20:37,188 --> 00:20:40,053
♪ Not rabbits
756
00:20:40,054 --> 00:20:41,054
♪ ding
757
00:20:42,654 --> 00:20:44,120
now, the challenge is to go
758
00:20:44,121 --> 00:20:45,088
up to people who are just
759
00:20:45,089 --> 00:20:46,287
sitting alone, minding their own
760
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:48,787
business, and sashay in front of
761
00:20:48,788 --> 00:20:49,788
them.
762
00:21:01,488 --> 00:21:02,653
Well, we've learned some
763
00:21:02,654 --> 00:21:03,654
stuff from punishments in
764
00:21:03,654 --> 00:21:04,254
season 1.
765
00:21:04,255 --> 00:21:05,375
I've learned not to lose.
766
00:21:06,288 --> 00:21:07,453
What have I learned?
767
00:21:07,454 --> 00:21:08,787
That dog crap is not cool.
768
00:21:08,788 --> 00:21:09,788
Yeah, dog crap is definitely
769
00:21:09,788 --> 00:21:10,754
not cool.
770
00:21:10,754 --> 00:21:11,754
Don't put a toe in your mouth
771
00:21:11,754 --> 00:21:12,754
if you don't know where it's
772
00:21:12,755 --> 00:21:13,820
been.
773
00:21:13,821 --> 00:21:14,821
I think the punishments in
774
00:21:14,822 --> 00:21:15,920
season 2 are going to be
775
00:21:15,921 --> 00:21:16,688
10 times worse.
776
00:21:16,688 --> 00:21:17,188
Oh, my.
777
00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:18,088
We're definitely gonna get
778
00:21:18,088 --> 00:21:18,554
arrested.
779
00:21:18,555 --> 00:21:20,720
In season 2, I will have my
780
00:21:20,721 --> 00:21:22,254
revenge.
43771
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