Original subtitles

Previously on Picket Fences.

Since

when

do I need your permission?

It's not about permission, Max. I don't count.

I went to bed with a redhead and I woke up with Sheena the Jungle Woman. Well,

that's pretty funny coming from Kenny the Caveman.

That's it.

Don't you dare sit in my chambers and lie to me. You have a problem.

You tried to take your own life.

I didn't mean for it to happen.

25 weekends in a row without a date.

God, I'm so lonely.

Everyone thinks I broke up with Max because of her hair like it's some big

Had nothing to do with the hair.

She didn't respect me.

I've decided to take in a boarder.

Maybe you could use those upstairs rooms.

You'd really let me stay in your house?

Neat. It's a tornado watch.

That's that.

What's going on?

Oh!

What are you going to call? I'm calling Kimberly, honey. She's all alone out

there. She's alone with three roommates, huh? Yes, in a crummy little house that

would blow away in the first strong wind. She's 18. She's a college

Would you want your mother calling you? Oh, God.

Oh, what was that? Oh.

Big tree bank, though.

Cool. They're showing clips of old tornadoes. Display of unchecked fury.

Everything all right in there?

Uh... I was beginning to worry.

I had a lot of coffee this morning.

No problem.

Set them down.

Boy, that's some weather, isn't it?

Yeah, sure is. Well, you look pretty good for a guy who almost died of a drug

overdose last month.

If your liver and kidney functions check out, I'm going to give you a clean bill

of health.

Whoopee.

Tornado watch.

Used to turn me on like a light, Jill.

Chasing tornadoes used to be a sexual experience for me.

Now, check my pulse.

I did. And? 74.

What? That's normal.

My heart should be pounding like a trip hammer, Jill.

They brought in a cadaver yesterday. Suspected sister sarcosis. We're talking

tapeworms the size of a boa constrictor. I took a nap.

Literally could not stay awake to perform the autopsy. You sound

Very good.

Well, maybe you need a new hobby or something.

Hobby? I like damp collecting.

Hey,

do you know that my cousin Dan took up quilting last year?

Quilting? Yeah. Just an idea.

No, that's intriguing. Quilting.

Indigenous American art form combining regional style and individual

sensibility.

Solitary pursuit, which is perfect in my case, requiring a high level of manual

dexterity, which I have.

Plus artistic temperament, which I could develop.

Incoming from the weather service, Jimmy. They've extended the watch to 3 p

Okay, thanks, Maxine. You want me to call in the night shift?

No, not something.

Let's check with dispatch, make sure we've alerted all the hospitals, the

schools.

Right. The usual.

What?

Nice tie.

Oh, thank you. Jill picked it out for me. No, no, no, I mean it. The mayor's

right. You do look good in civvies.

She told you that?

In so many words.

What'd she say?

Her exact words?

Well... Nice puns.

You want in, Sheriff?

Tornado, please. It's coming Saturday!

Here, put me down for Saturday, three o 'clock.

I feel it in my bladder.

Ooh, a nice tie.

Do you want something, Doug, or did you just come by to reveal the secrets of

your prostate?

You didn't, RSVP.

Our anniversary bash. 40 years shackled to Miriam. It's going to be a major

blowout. You'll tell me to call. I'm sorry. It will be there.

Who would have believed it? 40 years.

Yet the Wombo marriage seems sailing along like a rusty old battle cruiser

limping home to port.

Kenny, don't forget my anniversary.

We've got a problem.

This witness statement, the Boyd case, is a disaster.

Dates are off. The spelling is lousy. I didn't even get the address right.

I'm honored.

What's with the shirt?

We may have relaxed uniform rugs, Kenny. We didn't throw discipline out the

window. That's it?

No, that's not it. I don't like what I'm seeing here. You're not on the ball

ever since you and Max broke up. That's got nothing to do with it, Jimmy. I told

you. It's over and done.

I'm just tired, that's all. I've been pulling double shifts.

It's under control.

county a funnel cloud was spotted at around 4 30 this afternoon it didn't

ground for repeating our top story there's nothing on but these stupid

reports

Nice wheel.

Ditto.

Your vehicle?

Yeah.

Police officer.

Oh, give me a break.

You step out of the cabin, don't even think about running away.

Is there a problem, officer?

License and registration.

See, what happened was, I took a wrong turn back on 41, and I was asking this

young lady for directions.

License and registration.

Look, man, I've never done anything like this before in my life, I swear.

Just get to my file, I'm out of job.

You understand what I'm saying?

And my wife, she's an understanding woman, but... You left tail

light.

It's broke.

Next time it's a $30 fine.

Thank you,

man.

Thank you.

Rome police number one in my book number one

I

Got tired of waiting

I got hung up.

Paperwork.

Wait,

wait, wait.

Let's go to my place.

Yeah? Okay, yeah.

So how's it take it, baby?

You know, I work, I eat, I watch TV.

Life is full.

You have to smoke?

Never bothered you before?

Well, it's bothering me now.

What's the matter, baby?

Nothing.

By the way, you and your girlfriends better cool it on that CB stuff.

We're getting calls at the station.

People are getting wise.

Couple more months, I'm out.

I told you, it's just short term.

But thank you. Yeah, you know what? This place stinks.

You ever...

Ever think of cleaning it up?

What's wrong, Kenny?

Don't I make you happy?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, I told you you don't have to pay me. I like you.

I don't mind.

You want another beer or something?

No.

Just thinking about my future.

My career.

That's a joke.

My boss thinks I'm an idiot.

Just a trigger finger, that's all.

My personal life?

I'm pulling two shifts, just so I don't have to think about my personal life.

I've got nothing.

Nothing going.

You got me?

Yeah.

Matthew! Zachary!

You're gonna be late!

So will I. Oh, Jimmy, look at your tie. Wait.

Oh, God. You can't go to work looking like that.

You know, I've been thinking.

Kimberly doesn't have a basement in her new house. So? So, what if a tornado

hits? Oh, honey, a tornado is not going to hit Kimberly's house. And what if it

does in the middle of the night? No, just hope she's not home.

I'll call from work. Make sure she looks for a high school building or something

that has a basement in it, okay? And what if she can't get there in time?

You being a mother.

Have

you

ever quilted before?

No, but I have the capacity for unbelievable obsession. It's a character

of mine.

How much is this machine?

Ouch. Well, you picked the top of the line.

1630.

It's got over 400 stitch patterns, fully computerized and interfaces with your

PC. Costs as much as a small car.

Well, now, here's a model that's perfectly suited to your needs for only

quarter of the price.

It's got very high -quality stitching, over 16 computerized patterns, and it's

the least expensive machine that still comes with a knee lifter. That's

important. Oh, it's essential if you're going to be quilting.

It means that you can lift up the presser foot and lower the feed dogs

keeping both hands on your quilt.

Presser foot?

Yes, this doohickey right here.

Right.

And for you obsessive types, it has a storage and toolbox attached right to

case.

Typical Swiss engineering. You put your screwdriver in backwards and you can't

close the box. Oh, I like that.

As with all our high -end machines, this one comes with eight hours free

instruction. Great.

Who gives the instruction?

I do.

Don't, don't, please.

Take it easy. Miriam, 40 years of marriage. If ever there was an occasion

drink, this is it.

Henry, thank you for coming.

Mazel tov, everybody. Thank you. Only on happy occasions. Congratulations.

Jimmy. It's a wonderful party. Wonderful party. Congratulations. I hope that

we're as happy as you are on our 40th. It's the champagne, believe me.

Well, where is Deputy Stewart?

She's on special assignment tonight.

Too bad. I'm giving a speech. You would have loved it.

To your health, Kenny. To your health.

Max is on special assignment.

A little sting operation she set up a night shift.

She's trying to play close.

Thought I'd give her a shot.

Well, I've been interested in playing close too, Jimmy.

Come up with an idea, let me know, huh?

Meanwhile, good job on that void report.

Thanks.

Yeah.

I'd like to make a toast to Miriam and Douglas on their ruby wedding

anniversary.

Miriam and Douglas!

Thank you, thank you, my friends. It's so nice to see you all. My heart is lit

with a golden glow.

This is the part when you're calling me to say a few words.

Watch this if you would, Doug.

Ah, thank you, thank you, thank you. They say that a married couple is well

-suited when they feel the need to quarrel at the same time. If so, Miriam

are a perfect match.

After each argument, we patch things up. My chin, my nose, my head.

That's like they say that marriage is a great institution.

But who wants to live in an institution?

It's 40 years.

What a wedding.

It seems like yesterday.

Wonderful ceremony.

After the ceremony, I went over to the rabbi and I asked him, how much do I owe

you for performing the ceremony?

He says, pay me what you think it's worth.

Well, I put my hand in my pocket.

All I had there was a dollar. What could I do?

I handed him the dollar.

He takes one look at Miriam.

He gave me 50 cents change.

I don't know how you grew up with him.

Oh, God, that's funny.

Thanks for meeting me, Sue. I've, uh...

Been having second thoughts, spending all that money on a sewing machine.

Oh, you won't regret it.

I think you're going to love quilting, Carter.

The steady sound of your machine, the work of your hands as you create

unique, piece by piece, stitch by stitch.

So who had the decaf latte and who had the cappuccino?

Cappuccino.

Thank you.

You're a doctor.

That's right.

I'm the medical examiner for Hogan County.

Wow. Sounds important.

You're new around here, aren't you?

Well, I moved from Minneapolis two months ago.

People told me that Rome was a little strange, but I don't think so. It's just

little lonely.

I know what you mean.

I'm sorry about your house.

What? Didn't your house burn down recently?

Who told you about that?

Nancy. She owns the shop.

She says she knows all about you.

I guess you're something of a celebrity around here, huh?

What else did she tell you?

Oh, that was it. She was running out the door at the time, so I guess I'll get

the whole story tomorrow.

Unless you want to tell me.

No, I'll let Nancy do it.

You're just being modest.

So what else do you do besides quilting? Do you like to read?

I love to read.

Really? Who's your favorite author?

Oh, I don't know. That's so hard.

Hermann Hesse.

Did you ever read Steppenwolf?

That was great.

I mean, of course, they're all so good.

Siddhartha, Damien, The Glass Bead Game.

So, when do you want to start your lesson?

Can I call you tomorrow?

Sure.

To your right.

You got this all wrong.

Save it, Sherry. I got it all on tape. If you got any brains, you'll plead to a

Class A misdemeanor.

To your left.

You gonna put me in jail?

You can bond out as long as you agree to make arraignment on Tuesday.

You got everything on tape.

I got audio of you soliciting sex for hire on the CB.

I got video of you meeting our man at the truck stop.

I was in the van across the lot.

I'd like to speak to Deputy Locos.

Excuse me?

Kenny, Locos.

This is his station, right?

What do you want to talk to him for?

I don't have to tell you.

Deputy Locos is off duty.

So you can call him, can't you?

555 -0913.

As soon as you post bond, you can drop a dime like everyone else.

Wipe your hands.

Oh, for God's sakes, Miriam. Will you ever get out of there?

No, I'm going to spend the rest of my life in the bathroom so you can make

another joke out of it. You're overreacting.

Never been so humiliated in my life.

Oh, yes, you have.

You took what should have been a beautiful occasion and you turned it

A joke fest, so what's the big deal? You shamed me.

In front of all our friends, you shamed me. And on our anniversary, it... They

weren't laughing at you.

They were laughing with me. Well, they shouldn't have been laughing at all.

should have been dancing and romancing.

Oh, never mind.

Oh, so...

I had a few drinks. So what?

I'm a character.

Everybody knows that.

Miriam, open the door.

Miriam, don't be silly.

Miriam!

You know

a girl named Sherry Watkins?

Who? Sherry Watkins.

Late 20s, red hair.

Too much makeup, cheap perfume. Ring any bells?

No. Should it?

You certainly ring her bell.

We picked her up tonight.

Little sting operation at the truck stop.

She's a lot lizard, Kenny.

You know, one of the hookers who makes it with the truck drivers. When I booked

her, she asked for you. Why?

Wait a minute.

Sherry Watkins, yeah.

Small, kind of pretty.

Yeah, she helped me out with the Freiman case last year, remember?

Yeah, unnamed informant.

So you picked her up tonight.

I guess that's her tough luck.

I guess so.

Well, congratulations.

She knew your telephone number.

So?

So I hope you're telling the truth.

Meaning what?

Meaning I don't know what's happened to you lately.

Ever since we broke up. Look, Max, it was my choice. I can handle it. All

It was the right thing to do.

Kenny, you get in a hole sometimes, you know?

You start drinking, do a lot of stupid things.

Are you having an affair with that girl?

No.

And what if I was?

So what?

So?

She's a hooker. It could ruin your career.

You're the one with the career, Max.

My life's going nowhere.

Kenny, you have a lot of fault.

Self -pity?

It's never one of them.

Me, Kenny, open up.

What is it? What is it?

You asked for me at the sheriff's station and you want to know what is it?

need help. Well, I can't help you.

Well, you're a cop.

You shouldn't have mentioned my name. I'm sorry. I got scared. You should have

tipped me off. I didn't know anything about it until tonight. Besides, I told

you to cut that stuff out.

You gotta fix it, Kenny. You gotta make things right. I can't fix this, Sherry.

What do you think I am, some kind of magic man? I wave a wand and everything

disappears? You gotta fix it. You were stupid.

I know.

Kenny, please.

You're a whore. You got caught being a whore.

That's all there is to it. Yeah, I'm a whore?

Well, what does that make you, you son of a bitch? This has got nothing to do

with me. If I'm in the sewer, you're right down there with me. You leave me

of it, all right? I'm on probation, Kenny. They can send me away this time.

gotta get me out of this. You gotta, or I'll tell...

You want me to beg?

I'll beg.

I need you to help me, Kenny.

Please.

How can I help you, Sherry?

They've got everything on tape.

Everything on tape.

The girl who's called six times today? I'm not here. I'm working on a tapeworm.

Hi, I'm Sue Walsh from Bobbin and Threads. I'm looking for Carter. Is he

Carter? Carter Pike.

Mid -thirties, glasses, about so high.

Oh, that Carter.

Yes, yes.

Yes, he's here.

Carter.

Sue. Hi.

Hi. I've got your machine in the car.

Really?

Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go polish something.

You see, that's going to be a problem, Sue. I've changed

my mind.

What? You don't want it?

But last night you... I know, I know. I was rechecking my finances, cash flow,

earnings projections, and...

Oh, boy, an expensive sewing machine is an extravagance I just can't afford

right now.

Well, we have all sorts of financial plans, Carter, for as little as $40. I

don't think I can do it, Sue.

I'm sorry.

Oh, okay.

I really appreciate you coming by.

No problem.

Watch out for the weather.

Do you mind telling me what that little fiasco was all about?

We went out on a date last night, kind of. And?

Well, she seems very nice. She is very nice.

How could I possibly get involved with someone whose favorite author is Herman

Hesse?

What? She told me her favorite author is Herman Hesse.

What's wrong with Hesse? Come on, Judge. Talk about metaphysical pretension.

Maya, Maya, all is Maya. Give me a break.

Well, goodness sake, Carter. The other day you were telling me how lonely you

are. Now you turn down a perfectly nice woman because she happens to like Herman

Hesse? I may be lonely, but I'm not that lonely.

Matthew!

Kim's phone lines are down.

What?

Look, I tried calling Kim. The phone committee says her phone lines are out.

What do you keep calling her for?

Somebody's got to hold this family together.

Hey, give me a break.

I heard Mom telling Dad that Kimberly's house doesn't have a basement.

So? So it doesn't concern you that her own sister's a sitting duck out there?

You know, I want to get her over here, only now we can't because her phone

are out. Big deal.

Probably just a tree branch somewhere.

Oh, I'm glad you're so concerned.

Hey, get a life, okay?

Fine!

Jimmy, what's up? It's real. Frontal clouds been spotted by Slater. Fire

southwest. Need spotters. All right, I'm on it.

Yeah.

Miriam, hurry up. Come on, come on, Miriam. A little oomph, a little oomph.

tornado is coming. I know, I know. Don't you know a tornado when you see one?

Get in. I'll get it. I'll get it. All right, all right. Okay, very good. Okay,

very good. Wait a minute. Where are you going? What do you mean, where am I

going? There's no room. Under the sink. Under the sink.

There is room. Now just move over. All right, all right, all right.

Okay, now let's get this mattress up. My foot.

Get your feet away. Get the mattress up. Oh, my God.

and call St. Francis Nursing Home and tell them we're getting a basement.

Got it.

Jimmy, Jill's on the phone.

I have to call back. She says it's urgent.

His bicycle is missing. I called all of his friends. I think he went to

Kimberly's. What?

He's been so concerned about her because her phone is out.

I think he went to see Kimberly.

Okay, okay.

There's only one road there from the house, Route 23. I'll go.

You and Matthew get in the basement and stay there.

Okay, but hurry, Jimmy, hurry, and call me the second that you find him.

Matthew. Matthew, honey, you go in the basement. I'm going to find your

Come on. You expect me to stay here alone while Tornado grins out? No way.

do what I say.

See, this is difficult.

You care more about Zach than you do about me. Oh, Matthew. It's true.

Ever since I ran over him with the car, it was an accident. I don't have time.

You going to the cellar?

You go.

But... I consider myself a rational person, Carter.

If a tornado should happen to pass this way, I don't see how having a ten -ton

house on top of me much helps matters.

Huh.

You think I'm making a mistake, don't you, blowing Sue off?

I think you're being a total jackass.

I can't get her out of my mind.

Could I seriously be attracted to a woman who loves Herman Hesse?

Carter, go to the cellar.

Please. I mean, she's not unintelligent. Cut it out, Carter.

This isn't about intelligence.

And it isn't about Herman Hesse, either.

It's about you and your fear of rejection.

What?

Oh, come on, Carter. Don't play that game with me. I'm too old. What game?

She obviously likes you.

God knows why, considering your behavior.

Her boss knows all about me, Judge.

So? So sooner or later, she's going to know all about me. The date with the

transsexual, belief in UFOs, the misdiagnosing a dead woman. Need I

Let me understand this.

You'd prefer a woman who knows absolutely nothing about you?

Of course.

Go to the cell.

I need to remake my cell, Judge.

My life has been nothing but a public car wreck up to this point.

But it's your life.

You think you can disguise it somehow?

I can try.

You're a human being.

With certain inalienable rights.

Including the right to make a total fool of yourself and go on living. For God's

sake, man.

You think you're the only person with a blot on his past?

You think Sue's never done anything she's ashamed of?

Never thought about it like that.

No kidding.

She does like me, doesn't she?

I'm reading.

You're right.

This isn't about Herman Hesse. It isn't even about Sue. It's about me.

She's great. I'm the one who screwed up.

Carter. I gotta tell her. There's a tornado out there.

It's not her. It's me!

Okay, there's trees and power lines down all over the place. It's coming too

fast. We're never going to get out. Okay, don't panic.

I know the drill.

Our best bet is a highway underpass.

They afford excellent shelter. All right, do you see a highway underpass

here?

There's a boat over there. Come on, let's go.

Conkers would be my next suggestion.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Tornadoes. What about it? It's coming this way.

No, it's not. The siren stopped a few minutes ago. It's all over.

Oh. We were hoping to take a look at it.

Really?

Zachary! Mom!

Zachary! Are you okay?

Where are you going to get it?

Everyone, this is my mother, Dr. Jill Brock, and my brother, Matthew.

Zach.

And this is my father, Sheriff James Brock.

Is he all right?

Fine.

You are grounded for life, young man.

Well, everyone meet the Brock's.

it's a sign, huh?

Maybe something about second chances, reaping the whirlwind. Maybe we've been

spared for a reason.

Maybe we're supposed to rebuild our lives, you know?

Saul of Tarsus, blinded by the light.

Then again, maybe it was a completely random act of nature where atoms, alone,

caught in a colloidal suspension of Brownian motion.

For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.

What?

Sister Mary Francis used to say that all the time.

For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.

I never understood what that meant.

Hey, hey, where are you going? Hey, you want to go grab a beer or something?

No, no, no, you're right. We don't need any artificial intoxicants. We're on a

natural high!

Let's revel in the endorphin rush.

Endorphin rush.

Endorphin rush.

Wait, we're alive!

And so the cleanup begins.

Initial estimates are that Hogan County escaped with miraculously little damage

and no fatalities.

The twister touched down briefly in two areas.

I left some fresh sheets in the closet and there's a pot roast in the oven.

Where are you going?

I'm leaving you, Douglas.

Miriam. I'll be at Thelma's. I demand an explanation.

An explanation?

Twenty years ago, when the last tornado came, we lay in that bathtub together.

I was in your arms.

And I thought, I don't mind dying with this man.

I didn't feel that way this time, Douglas.

What?

You know, a lot can happen in 20 years.

Where's the love, the tenderness, the consideration?

Miriam. Oh, I'm not holding you solely responsible. I would have kept going

right along with it.

If it hadn't been for the tornado.

But as I was sitting in the bathtub, thinking about dying, I realized I want

more out of life than I'm getting.

I do not want to die with you, Douglas.

Miriam. But Miriam, wait.

Wait, Miriam.

Something I did. I apologize.

Was it the party? I admit I had too much champagne.

There's nothing left, Douglas.

Richard, call DWP. Make sure they know about the downed power lines on

Okay, Jimmy.

Kenny, how you doing?

Fine, Jimmy.

Can I have a word with you in private, please? Yeah.

What's up?

There's a case coming up for trial soon.

You're going to hear certain things about me.

Certain allegations.

And I want you to know that... that they're true.

Hmm. What allegations?

I don't believe it.

We're having a conference right now. My sting operation, it's ruined.

What? Some moron put stereo speakers next to my tapes, wiped out everything.

Stereo speaker can do that?

Feel this, Jimmy.

Magnet must weigh 10 pounds.

So, we don't have a case.

I just came from Littleton's office. He says we have to kick everything.

Aren't there rules about evidence rooms, Jimmy? How can this happen? Yeah, I

don't know, but... I will start an investigation right away. A lot of good

that'll do me. This was my bust.

It was a very good bust, too, Max.

I promise you there will be others.

I want names, Jimmy.

What allegations?

Um, somebody saw me buying a six while I was still in uniform, and, uh... See, I

was going off shift, and the store was closing in five minutes.

I got sloppy.

That's it?

It won't happen again.

Can I go?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Max, hold up.

Why'd you do it?

I went to see Sherry. She told me the whole story.

Destroying evidence is a felony, Max.

I know.

And it was a righteous bust.

Feather in your cap.

You did this for me.

We've been friends a long time, Kenny.

I wasn't going to let you destroy yourself.

But this is it.

No more favors.

We're still friends.

partners when you were with her were we still no i met her a couple of weeks ago

why kenny there are a lot of girls in this town who would like to be with you

why her we got a lot in common

We're closed.

I've changed my mind.

Again. I want the machine.

Oh?

This wasn't about quilting, Sue. It was never about quilting. It was about me

and... My problem with quilting, but I'm on top of it.

I'm aware of it, and I'm ready to quilt.

Are you sure?

Positive.

Good.

I've been negotiating for you.

As of now, you're only grounded until you're 30.

You gotta admit, Zach, they have a pretty good reason to be mad at you.

Going out in that storm, that was major crazy, Zach.

I was worried.

About you.

I know.

Know what else?

I think you're my hero.

Yeah?

How many guys would have done what you did for their sister?

Well, it... Well, it's pretty dangerous.

Riding ten miles into the middle of a tornado?

I know. You know, I think I saw it. The tornado, I mean.

No. You know, I can't be sure, but I was pedaling really, really fast and went

by this barn, you know.

Big red barn. And, you know, I'll show it to you next time we drive out there.

And, dang, what are my eyes?

Where? It's a funnel -shaped cloud touching down.

Where is it?

Oh, I was riding too fast. I was scared.

What did you do?

I walked right.

I kept on pedaling.

What did you do?

I looked back.

What? Just a quick look. I wasn't sure it was a baby.

I didn't drop it.

I didn't drop it. I didn't

drop it.

Next on Picket Fences.

Mindy, if you're overweight, then stop eating so damn much.

Jill Brock, Joanna Diamond. Hey, I know you. You're Dr. Joey.

Yes, that's right, honey. Have a pencil.

I'm going to buy your practice.

What?

You're married to this guy? No!

I work at my job. He come, he put me in a car, made me here to have sex.

Miriam, you've come to your senses.

What's that?

Papers.

I'm divorcing you, Douglas.

What?

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