Original subtitles

Previously on Pig Advances.

That swan didn't die of natural causes, it was beaten to death.

I knew it. We're not talking about a couple of whacks that were struck more

a hundred times.

I want you to tell your father exactly what you told me.

A bunch of kids.

They decided instead of street hockey, that it might be fun to play swan

You hit them with your hockey stick to put them into a goal?

Zach and I never hit them.

So you just let the swan be killed?

In you, O Lord, I take refuge.

Let me never be put to shame.

In your justice, rescue me.

Incline your ear to me.

Make haste to deliver me.

You will free me from the snare they set for me.

For you are my refuge.

Into your hands I commend my spirit.

Zach, what are you doing?

Praying.

Psalms 31.

Why are you praying?

I want to be delivered from evil.

Oh.

And I want salvation.

Uh -huh. Well, I'd rather you do your homework.

Jimmy. Jimmy, honey, just excuse us a minute, Zach.

My life is worn out. See what he's doing?

Yes, honey. He's been doing that every night for the past two weeks. He wants

forgiveness, but that's all I'm killing.

I thought he wanted to be Jewish. Well, suddenly he's gone fundamentalist. I

don't know what to say.

He's 11 years old. What should he be doing now? He laid me down to sleep,

Delivered me from evil. Well, it's just a prayer.

There's nothing wrong with it. He's fine.

When you see me in the street, you quickly shy away.

I am forgotten like the unremembered dead.

I am like a dish that is broken.

I say you are my God.

In your hands is my destiny.

Rescue me.

Honey, I really think you're making too big a deal out of it. Leave up hockey.

Out of respect for the swan who refuses to pick up a hockey stick.

That's sacrilege.

Let's eat your waffle.

It's a pancake.

Don't kind of dig me.

Yeah, honey, eat your round, flat blueberry waffle.

What's this?

I'm off to church.

How are you going to get there?

I can walk.

I'll go to Mr. Novotny's church.

It's not too far.

It's not too much to ask in his name. Honey, I think it's... I think it's

wonderful how you've been so sincere in repenting for what happened to the swan,

but you don't have to.

And I think it's great that you're going to church.

I've been meaning to go more myself, but I'm sure that God has forgiven you

for the swan incident.

Thanks.

I'll say a prayer for all of you.

Whack.

I need to do penance for my salvation.

I contributed to the death of an innocent swan.

I still feel stamped.

Oh, that.

You know, God works in very...

Maybe you're coming at this from the

wrong angle.

Maybe you should thank God for the swan incident.

What kind of a minister would say that?

Well, your suffering over this could be a sign of God's favor.

He wouldn't give you this cross to bear if he didn't think you could handle it.

Really?

It's been a real challenge.

What have you learned from this young man?

Swans shouldn't be used as pugs?

Well, I think there's a little more to be learned if you'll search yourself.

Okay.

But first I think I should pray some more.

All right, my friend.

What's wrong?

I don't know, honey. He just sounded very upset.

Well, how did he cut himself in church? I don't know.

I'm okay. They both started bleeding? At the same time.

This is where your blisters were, isn't it?

The blisters were healed.

Well, they seem okay.

Were you squeezing something at church?

No.

You're okay.

Must have been the blisters, though. They just started to bleed.

Must have aggravated them somehow.

Blisters don't bleed like that.

Well, was he holding something?

No, he was just praying.

And then suddenly he's crying and blood's coming out of his hand.

There was a lot of blood.

Well, there are no jagged cuts.

It has to have been the blisters.

From the hockey stick.

With the swan, you know.

Squeezing that stick so hard, he gave himself blisters.

I saw it with my own eyes, Gary.

Look, I hate to admit it, but I never even believed in stigma. His mother

said it was blistered. Like hell.

She's a doctor. Look, his hands just opened up while he was praying, looking

the crucifix. I didn't hear that. You heard it. I just told you.

Are you sure? I am positive. I was 20 feet away.

Well, I need to talk to the boy. This needs to be authenticated.

The church has very strict rules about this sort of thing.

That last thing we need right now is a miracle.

Damn it!

You were just praying?

I think it was punishment.

For what?

Swans.

Giving Dad the finger.

Sing with Episcopalians.

God doesn't punish for that.

I was asking him to show me a sign.

God. I was asking him to show me he was there.

He cut you.

What's going on?

We'd just like to talk to you.

About what?

Jill, the wounds.

Do you really think they were blisters?

What's going on?

Please bear with us. Yes, really bear with him, because this is going to sound

way out there.

I'm just trying to brace them.

Brace us for what?

There is a phenomenon known as a stigmata.

It is when ordinary, everyday people suffer spontaneous lesions on the hands

resembling the marks of...

Christ's crucifixion. Now, there have been nearly 300 authenticated cases

the 13th century. Obviously, it's very rare, but it does happen.

What?

Well, I don't think really that this... You see, it's just possible

that the wounds on Zachary's hands might have been

possibly...

The wounds of Christ Almighty, our Savior.

Are you out of your minds?

Jimmy, there have been documented cases.

Now, most of them have been Roman Catholic, I'll grant you.

But present -day stigmatics include a Baptist, an Anglican, a Celtic.

This is ridiculous, what you're suggesting.

Can you explain these wounds medically? Can you?

Well, I must admit, they were a little strange, but... But there is some

plausible medical reason.

Well, people under stress can suffer psychosomatic skin injuries. It

could be that. Psychosomatic? His hands gushed blood.

Could it be something else?

Could it...

Oh, dear God.

Is it true?

What?

That you got touched by God? Something sharp?

I don't know.

My mother knows about stigmatism. She says maybe you're a saint.

I'm a congregationalist.

Can you bless me?

What? Well, I have a big geography test, and I can use a little more than my

basic prayer.

I know how to bless people.

It's the same as they dub knights in England.

You touch each shoulder.

And in the head.

And you say, bless you, my son.

And it works.

That's what my mother said.

Can you do it fast? I'll be late for class.

Bless you, my son.

Thanks. I love you.

Hi, Zachary.

You're looking well.

I have a fit. Could you eradicate it, please?

What the hell do you mean you have to investigate? Look, you think I like

But I'm a priest.

If somebody reports a stigmata... You are not calling your people in here to

investigate my son. Hey, I want to dismiss this.

I mean, what happens if he's declared a saint? I have to take orders from the

little bugger?

You think I want that?

Now, you've got to give me something to go with.

And it better be better than blisters.

You're not calling in your inquisition team.

Then, Jimmy, let us talk to the boy.

Maybe we can nip this today.

Otherwise, he doesn't have a choice except to call his bishop.

I've read his little priest handbook. Oh, you think you're so funny.

Please, trust us.

Kenny.

Do me a favor. Go get Zach.

Sir.

What the hell is this?

He's blessing them.

He's healing acne and promising better grades.

I'm about to break it up, but I thought you should see this first.

They really believe he's the chosen one?

No. But, uh, what could it hurt?

All right, everybody, break it up. Back to your homerooms you go.

That's enough.

But I've been blessed.

Get blessed at recess.

If you haven't got a pass, stay out of the hallway.

Let's go.

Keep moving.

Keep going along.

Beck, Minister Novotny and Father Barrett would like to talk to you.

Hey, Zach.

Zach, I'm sorry I kicked you at volleyball.

No man shall trouble me, because I bear the marks of Jesus on my body.

Could you do me a favor? I have an emergency.

What kind?

I need you to come to my house.

Well, we need him to come with us first.

Okay? Come on, Zach. I bear the marks of Jesus on my body.

So I hear.

Once I had an earache, I thought it was a sign from God. Turned out it was

whack.

So his hands just started to bleed.

That's what they say, but who knows?

Protestants are into special effects these days.

That's how they get their TV contracts.

Do you ever listen to yourself when you speak?

Praying is not enough these days, Henry.

People want production values.

I'm telling you, this could be trouble.

And stigmata, weeping Madonnas, towns have been flipping out over this.

If the church gives this stigmata thing any credibility, watch out.

What?

Rome's not going to be a quiet, ordinary little town anymore?

Character.

When you were watching the swan get hit, your mother said that you started

squeezing the hockey stick real hard.

Yes. Is that how you got the blisters?

Yes. I also helped dig the grave for this one, and I was squeezing the

And your hands bled from these blisters yesterday?

The blisters were healed.

Are you sure?

Maybe you just thought they were all better.

No, they were healed.

Swear to God. You want me to? No. No, that's okay.

Were you holding anything sharp while you were praying?

No. Zach, why do you think your hands started bleeding?

Don't be afraid.

All right.

Yes, you can go.

I have to tell the bishop.

What? The boy wasn't a hysteric.

There is no medical explanation.

I have to inform the bishop. What will he do?

Well, he'll convene a theological commission. Like hell, I'll let you talk

him, and that is it. Jimmy, listen to me.

They are not interested in finding anything supernatural.

Their mission is to find a nice, acceptable, earthly cause.

And then forget about it. No, still, we don't want him subjected.

Jill, this is the fastest way to get this thing behind us.

I promise you.

I'm getting flooded with calls about an apparition and Zachary Brock.

Yeah, we're still checking it out. What's all this?

Security. I'm the mayor. I want to live.

Now, what's with Zach?

Uh, all we know is that his hand started bleeding while he was praying.

The botany and Father Barrett are orgasmic.

Well, let me know.

The Christians are scared.

What next?

It's insane.

Calm down, Timmy.

Jill!

How can we do this?

We're going to let him become the object of some holy inquisition. They just

want to ask him a few questions. Yeah, right, sure. Well, suppose they declare

him to be one of these Stig things. What then?

What are you going to say to the chosen one when he asks for a bigger allowance?

According to Father Barrett, they'll explain it away with some earthly... Why

are we even submitting to it? Who cares what they think? It's ridiculous.

We're submitting to it because the rumors are flying all over town.

People are calling your office. People are calling here.

Helen Lewis wants Zach to fix her gallbladder. And the fastest way to put

squash on the whole thing is for the bishop to come here and tell us that

nothing.

What if he is a stigmatic?

I've been reading up on it. There are documented cases. There are supposedly

living stigmatics today.

That's nonsense.

You don't believe that crap.

Well, Daddy, maybe you should read this. These people aren't kooks and nuts.

If it really happened, if it ever really happened, we would know about it. It

happened to the priest in Virginia.

His wrist started to bleed. Same thing that happened to Zach.

That was on the news.

There are medical treatises on stigmatas, too.

Hands and feet suddenly bleeding.

Now, it usually happens to people who are very religious with a

Will you listen to her?

Could you listen?

Now, we know Zach. He's been like an open cavity when it comes to God and

religion. And aside from him being a little young, he fits the profile

exactly... Kimberly, honey, do you really believe Zach has the wounds of

I don't know.

I'm wondering.

This crosses the line from faith to insanity, and you should know better.

Do you believe in the resurrection?

What?

that Jesus died and then came back to life. Do you believe that? It has

to do with that.

Well, coming back from the dead is a bigger trick than a hand bleeding.

Do you think the resurrection happened?

I don't know. I wasn't there.

Do you believe in the second coming?

You see, now these are the kind of questions Zach is going to be getting if

let him go through with it.

No, Daddy, I'm just trying to make sense of it, just like you.

Now, Christians believe in the second coming, that Christ will return.

We're Christians, so I guess, in theory, we believe this, right?

Um, right.

Well, that's a pretty big miracle, that Christ will one day walk the earth

again. If we believe that, how can we automatically disbelieve the stigmatic

thing?

Especially after there's already been documented cases.

We can disbelieve it because it's crap.

And it's all evidence of how dangerous and how ridiculous organized religion

be.

Okay.

The crap theory.

Got it.

This is my brother, Mark.

This is that kid.

Can you help my brother?

They say he's going to die.

I don't know.

I'm new at this.

Can you, like, bless him or something?

Yeah, I think.

I'm not sure, but I think I should touch his head and we

should pray silent with our eyes closed.

Okay. Okay, Mark, close your eyes.

All right.

Okay.

You hold my hand.

Can this work?

I don't know.

I've never done it before.

Okay.

Now, close your eyes.

They're down there in the living room.

You scared?

What if it's like the exorcist?

It won't be.

Maybe they just want to ask you some questions.

Why is everybody so upset?

It didn't hurt anybody.

This is religion, Zach.

It's supposed to get people upset.

That's the whole point.

We were told nothing about a medical examination.

Well, we'd like to resolve this matter quickly with one visit.

Their hospital has agreed to let us use their radiology department, and we have

a staff of... What? Excuse me, what?

Dr. Brock, we get hundreds of reports every year concerning stigmatics. We

authenticate... No, no, you're not poking and probing my son.

Of course, when this sort of thing involves a child, well, naturally, the

parents become quite concerned.

Nobody wants their little boy to be anointed as a saint.

It's tough to get him to take out the garbage.

If you're finding humor in this, you should know that I'm not.

My point is, I understand that you do not want your son to be a saint.

An angel from time to time, but not a saint. Am I correct?

Very correct.

Well, here's our problem.

Thus far, you have proffered blisters as the sole medical cause.

According to our physicians, that's rather unlikely.

Most of the claims we receive turn out to be self -inflicted.

However, Reverend Novotny disputes that possibility in this instance.

I assume you do as well.

If you told us that the wounds were self -inflicted, well,

as the boy's mother and doctor, we'd have to accept that, wouldn't we? We

leave right away.

Were these wounds self -inflicted, Dr. Brock?

Were Zachary's wounds self -inflicted, Dr. Brock?

No, they were not.

I see.

Which leaves us with quite a mystery.

Now, customarily, we find that the more thorough our testing, the less divine

the explanation turns out to be.

So, with your permission.

We'd like to take Zachary down to Thayer Hospital.

I think that would be best.

Don't you agree?

be quiet. We anticipate a riot. This common ground is

much too loud.

Tell the barbers to sing your song that they are fools and they are wrong.

They are a curse.

They should disperse.

Reports are that it was completely spontaneous as he stared at the

A coincidence, according to the doctors.

Deputy Lacos assures me that everything is very earthly.

Sorry to disappoint you.

If we learn anything more, we'll let you know. I'm afraid there really isn't

much of a story. Thank you.

I

didn't

say everything was definitely earthly.

You want this place to become a mecca?

So you're trying to protect the town.

I'm trying to protect the boy.

They found nothing?

Nothing medical.

What is that supposed to mean? I don't know, Jimmy. They didn't share their

findings with me, okay? All I know is that radiology tests, everything's fine,

everything's normal.

He doesn't have an alien growing inside of him.

He's 11.

Well, hopefully this will all be over by tomorrow.

Where is he now? I don't know. Playing with his friends, I hope.

Like any normal 11 -year -old boy.

The mother said at least a hundred.

And she let them in?

They were friendly.

The Lord will guard your life.

I lift my eyes to the mountains.

My help is from the Lord, who created heaven and earth.

The Lord is your guardian.

The Lord will guard your life, both now and forever.

He's got a million of them.

Jack, it's great that you want to help them, but next time you should not.

They knew we were coming. Well, you could still ring the doorbell.

I'm not trying to be a saint.

I just want to cheer them up.

Because sometimes the mind can heal.

I saw it on PBS.

Yeah, well, my cable's out.

Zach, I want you to go right home and go to bed, okay?

I'm gonna be okay, pal. Got a bump, but I don't think you have a concussion.

You see?

This is what religion does. Oh, Jimmy.

We threw the rock.

We've narrowed it down to three kids. Narrow it down more than file charges.

I told you.

I told you that if we did this... Jimmy, calm down. No, this is what organized

religion is all about.

Hatred, throwing stones, killing... He doesn't mean that. Yes, he does!

You're not a saint.

You're a boy, an 11 -year -old with blisters. You're not a saint.

What if Jesus was showing me a sign?

Jesus is a fake.

It's a stupid myth.

This whole thing is stupid.

You mean he wasn't the son of God?

People disperse! Go home now!

Disperse!

So Jesus was fake?

Sorry, I never knew I thought that.

But you do.

At your age, you're just finding out that's what you believe?

I've never been pushed into a corner with it before.

You know me and God, Jill.

Leave him out there, keep him illusory that way. He stays almighty.

You don't believe in him either?

No, no, I believe in him.

No, you don't.

You believe in the concept of God, but you don't believe in him.

Well, I think I do.

Do you think he's in this room right now, listening to this?

You think about whether he's ever in the room?

Not much, no.

Are you afraid to think about it because of what you might conclude?

Is that why you got so angry?

This is hard, Jimmy.

It's not like we're such a religious family, but this is hard.

It's important to you that I believe in Jesus and God?

Yes.

And it's important that I think I know who you are. It's pretty fundamental.

I promise you, I heard it for the first time as it came out of my mouth.

We have to talk to the kids. We have to be honest.

You've been putting up that Christmas tree every year.

We have to be honest.

What will I tell them?

The truth.

You don't have to be scared, Zachary.

You're Frank the Potato Man.

You're dead.

I came back to tell you.

You don't have to be afraid.

Are you... Are you him?

Who?

Jesus.

I'm Frank Teacher.

How come you're coming back from the dead?

This is all a dream.

You'll wake up shortly in your bed and your mother and father will be there.

All you have to remember about this dream is that it's... It's

okay to believe in him.

To trust your faith.

Jesus is really... Frank the Potato Man?

I don't know.

I suspect he comes back in different ways for different people, maybe in

sometimes, so they can get his message without thinking they've gone crazy.

You don't have to be a saint, Zach, or a prophet.

You could just be a boy who loves to play hockey and is nice to swans.

So get him.

Will you ever come back as yourself?

As Jesus?

I'm trying to teach you.

Don't come back as Jesus.

They'll kill you.

It's time to wake up, myself.

Honey.

Honey, it's okay.

It's okay. You were just having a dream.

You okay, pal?

Zach, listen, before you go to school, Daddy and I want to talk to all of you.

So if you could come down for breakfast, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

I want... I need to explain my little outburst yesterday.

Now, you've all heard me say many times that...

you know, I believe in God, but that God should be kept out there somewhere. We

shouldn't be getting in the same room with him.

Well, I've been sort of this week forced into that room

to confront what I believe and what I don't.

I'm afraid I've been misleading you and myself.

I'm an agnostic.

Do you know what that means?

It's like an atheist.

No, an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in God. An agnostic just doesn't

know.

He's confused.

Agnostics supposedly believe that God is improbable.

Is that you? You think he's improbable?

Yes.

What about Jesus?

I think Jesus was a good man and a good teacher, and I believe very much in his

message.

But you don't think he's the son of God?

Then how did he walk on water?

Or change water into wine?

Or wreath the dead?

I don't think he did any of those things.

I think that was the legend created by imaginative gospels.

So you don't believe a person has a soul?

That when someone dies, they're just dead?

They go into...

Nothingness.

I don't know, Kimberly.

Daddy needs for things to make sense.

And we disagree on this. I believe that the whole point of faith is to keep

on believing even when things don't make sense.

We differ on this.

And I just wanted to tell you to let you know what I believe.

whatever you choose.

Do you think Jesus could ever come to a person in a dream?

Um, I suppose it's possible.

Even if this is just blisters, it can still be a sign from God to help people,

couldn't it?

possible too.

Well, maybe I was given a sign to help Dad.

We have some truly fantastic news, Jill. Your son's no saint. What happened? We

concluded it was only psychogenic.

The stress not only over the swan, but also his mother being convicted of

manslaughter, very traumatic.

They can make his hands bleed?

It's not typical, but the doctors say yes.

Evidently, severe emotional distress can affect spontaneous bruising because

they had the underlying blisters and the weakened skin the blood broke through.

The official finding of the church is natural causes.

Thank you for indulging us, Doctor. I'm glad it was the result we all hoped for.

Yes, thank you.

Well, Zach, congratulations.

You're normal.

Great.

What happened?

Well, nothing really.

Nothing that's an emergency.

The boys were playing soccer, waiting for the school bus, and suddenly just

out of the house and joined them.

What's

going

on, Dr. Brock?

Should I get him to the hospital?

And one more big breath.

All right, very good. We're done.

Well, his energy's certainly up, but there's nothing to be concerned about.

Jill.

He's acting healed.

He still has the leukemia.

But it's possible there's been some remission, and that accounts for the

strength.

Or psychologically, having all those kids visit, it certainly could have

him a lift. A lift?

Yesterday he could barely walk, and today he's playing soccer.

Well, I hope there's been a remission, but I want to check him into Thayer.

I want to do some tests.

But we're not using the M word.

I'd like to, but not yet.

Mom, can we get a hot dog?

I really want a hot dog.

Zach?

How you doing?

Good.

I'm glad it's over.

Being a saint kind of sucked.

But I'm going to keep blessing Dad, though.

I think he needs it.

I think you could be right.

It could be a remission. Cancer sometimes does that, just goes into

Yes, it does.

For no medical reason.

Happens quite a lot, really. I hope it's happened here.

He's a great kid, that Mark Burton.

Yeah, he's a great kid.

And you know, I bet Zach did help him psychologically, bringing all those kids

over. I bet he did.

Yeah.

Can Jesus come to you in a dream? That's what Zach asked. I wonder where he got

that. Yeah.

I bet it did help him bring those kids over.

Yeah, I bet it did.

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