Original subtitles

Previously on Pig Advances.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Laurie Bay, better known as the Dancing Bandit. Please try to remain

as calm as possible.

Dancing what?

Bandit. Modern -day Robin Hood. Steals from the rich, gives to the poor. With a

gorgeous little boy.

You know sign language.

This woman is not getting away.

We finally got her.

Freeze! Freeze!

She was trying to escape, Zack.

I am the sheriff.

She does good things for people who need help.

But she breaks the law.

So you shot her.

I've made a lot of mistakes.

I'm sure your dad has, too.

Shooting me wasn't one of them.

Her heart rate's up to 230. She's got to go to Chicago. Chicago?

Why? We don't have the equipment. Chicago General is sending a chopper.

Your wife is okay?

We needed the airbag.

The chopper you called for?

It's over there.

The one that just left is ours.

What the hell is going on? Why is there another chopper?

I have no idea. There must be some mix -up.

Is that your garbage?

Yes.

That's a lot of garbage for one small boy.

But my hair is red.

I like the way the light hits red hair.

Reminds me of a sunset.

A red sunset.

Would you like to see the inside of a garbage truck?

Is it nicely appointed?

That's an objective question.

I didn't think you'd come.

What? I missed your birthday?

I told you I'd come.

I did the code right.

I remembered all the code words.

You sure did.

Hey.

Happy birthday.

This is the best birthday I ever had.

Get out of the truck with your hands up.

Send the boy out first.

The boy has to go.

Hands above your head.

Step out now.

Finally.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can or will be used against you in a court of law.

You have the right to talk to a lawyer and have him present before or during a

testimony.

I don't want her left alone for a minute.

What the hell's going on here?

We got her.

The dancing bandit is ours.

What are you doing with Zachary?

Your son's been communicating with Miss Bay through cyberspace.

They've been talking with each other by computer.

She came to visit him for his birthday and we were there to pounce. Lock him

Wait a minute.

I want a lawyer.

You're not in trouble, son.

Yes, he is. In my office. Now.

I want guards posted outside the jail corridor, outside the jail window,

the whole building. Yes, sir. You seem excited.

We got her.

We finally, finally got her.

I am shocked.

She's a fugitive.

Wanted by the law. Wanted by me.

You've been communicating with her for a year.

She comes to visit you.

How dare you not tell me? I was afraid you'd shoot her.

You're lucky not charged with a crime.

Aiding and abetting a fugitive is a crime, young man.

This is unconstitutional.

Go home.

You're grounded.

I'm very disappointed.

You forgot to say happy birthday.

Case number 22166.

People versus Laurie Bay on the charges of robbery and kidnapping.

Douglas Fombo for the dancing bandit.

She hadn't hired me yet, Judge, but she will.

Ah, my little friend.

How are you?

Your Honor, this is just an arraignment. I fully expect this case to be

transferred to federal court, where Miss Bay will stand trial for numerous

federal offenses committed over the last four years. Excuse me, Your Honor. That

won't be happening.

Who are you?

My name is Janet Neiman. I'm with the United States Attorney's Office. We will

be seeking to try Miss Bay right here in Rome.

What? I don't have jurisdiction over the federal crimes.

We're just charging her with the bank robbery that occurred in this county.

Why is that?

It's the only offense we're interested in prosecuting.

Counsel in chambers now.

What the hell are you up to?

She's covered her tracks very well.

We feel we'd have a hard time securing convictions in almost all the other

cases, except for this one.

For the bank robbery, we've got witnesses.

We can put her away for this offense.

So, this is the one we'd like to prosecute. I object, Your Honor. Why?

I don't know. She seems tricky.

The bank robbery is also a federal crime, isn't it? You could go to federal

court on that.

We prefer to try it here.

Fine. I'm not sure.

They're up to something.

Are they charging me?

Not yet.

For this trial, they just want Laurie.

They must think that they have a better chance of convicting you in Rome than

with a federal court jury.

Why would they think that?

Because she's a folk hero, modern -day Robin Hood. She never hurt anyone.

She feeds the homeless, defends the handicapped.

There isn't a jury anywhere that's going to want to convict her.

Yes, including here, maybe.

So what makes you think a Rome jury is going to be any different?

Because the jurors here know and love Jimmy Brock.

This is a small county that's very prosecution friendly. If they see you

with us, we undercut the dancing bandit's sympathy.

We lose more trials than we win.

Here's the deal.

We need a fast trial.

With every article that gets published about this woman, her popularity goes

We want the fastest criminal conviction possible to nip her hero status in the

bud.

We can go after her on the federal crimes later. What if the defense

agree to an immediate trial?

Oh, they will.

Wambaugh has a short attention span.

I don't know. I'm still not sure this town would convict her.

They have to.

We have a star witness.

Who?

Me. You were in the bank.

There were a lot of people in the bank. Most of whom we planned to call.

You looked right into her eyes.

You also treated her after she was wounded. Which is a problem right there,

because a doctor can't be forced to testify against her patient.

Yes, she can.

Your testimony, Dr. Brock, would be the most credible.

As I've already explained, you're a trusted member of the community. A

acting mayor.

Thank you. You are of crucial influence.

I'm sorry, but... Well, I have misgivings about...

Testifying against Laurie Bay. I happen to like her.

And she's been so good to our son.

She's in jail right now for wishing him happy birthday.

She's in jail for robbing banks.

Well, I'm sorry.

No.

Jill, we will subpoena you.

Fine, go ahead.

Can't be sure what I'm going to say.

Well, actually, we have a little insurance policy on that front.

Oh? We happen to be aware of the fact that you knew Laurie Bay was getting in

bogus FBI helicopter.

But you stayed silent as that helicopter flew off into the sunset carrying a

fugitive.

Jill?

I didn't know that it was an escape until she was already on the chopper.

you could have told the FBI right then and they could have pursued her.

Instead, you stayed silent.

Helping a fugitive escape is a crime that comes with a prison term, Dr.

What? You're going to arrest me? I think nothing of it.

You don't take the stand and offer up convincing testimony against Laurie Bay,

will absolutely prosecute you.

I don't like your tactic, Ms. Neiman.

And I... Especially don't like that you used my son to catch your suspect.

It's not your fault.

But if I didn't ask you to come for my birthday, they wouldn't have caught you.

Secret.

Does this involve the truth?

Because I can leave.

No, you can stay.

I knew the government was breaking into my computer.

I knew because I was tapping into theirs.

And I knew they knew that I was coming for your birthday and that they were

planning to capture me.

You did?

There was supposed to be a roadblock on 8 Rod Road after I said goodbye to you.

I didn't think they'd hit while you were still in the truck.

But I guess they got nervous.

I'm sorry you had to experience that.

Wait, I don't understand.

You wanted to get caught?

I'm tired of running.

I want to live a life.

Then why didn't you just turn yourself in?

I'm proud of everything I've done, Zach.

I know it's been outside the law, but I have no regrets.

If I surrendered, I'd be saying I was wrong.

I didn't want people getting that idea.

I prefer to be captured.

And do you want to be convicted? I need to know these things.

I want to walk tall, but I want to walk free.

Get me an acquittal.

Please. Well, they have you on videotape going into the bank with a big gun.

Think of something.

You're Douglas Wambaugh.

The prosecution wants to move fast.

Are you ready to go right away?

Are you?

All right.

All right, Miss Dancing Bandit.

Let's go to trial.

Can we talk about this?

Jimmy. I am the sheriff of this town, and my wife, my own wife,

helps an FBI most wanted criminal escape my own wife.

I apologize.

You apologize. That's all you can say. You apologize.

Well, that and I'm sorry.

Come on, the candles are melting.

I don't care.

He's in the kitchen. He can hear you. He committed a crime, too. My own wife, my

own son. Jimmy, it's his birthday. Can we try not to completely ruin it? Zach,

get out here and blow off these candles on his cake.

Listen! Oh, that's nice.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Zach.

There's one still left burning.

Oh, gee, Zach, that's not the way we blow out candles.

You can't tell me who I can have as friends just because you're the sheriff.

My wish was that you don't testify.

Happy birthday to you.

I really am sorry, Jimmy.

I just didn't want her going to jail.

Did Zachary know that you stayed silent?

Did he know that you helped a dancing band to get away?

Yes.

He was so upset, thinking that she was sick, you know, with her bad heart.

He was afraid she was going to die.

I had to tell him that it was an escape plan and that she was going to be okay.

How could he not think it was okay to go behind my back?

He saw his own mother do it.

What was the message you were sending, Jill, that adorable criminals are above

the law?

I just...

I didn't want Lori Bay to go to jail. I didn't really think about the big

picture, okay?

You have to testify.

I don't think I can do that.

You heard that federal prosecutor. Said she'd come after you if you didn't

cooperate.

Do you really think that a jury is going to punish me for sympathizing with the

dancing bandit? No, everybody loves the dancing bandit. That's why you have to

testify.

I don't think I can do that.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my

name is Janice Neiman.

I'll be the prosecuting attorney on this case, along with John Littleton, who I

believe you already know.

The case today involves a... Your Honor.

The defense stipulates that my client, Laurie Bay, robbed a bank. We admit to

everything in the indictment. No, no, no, you don't. Mr. Littleton.

Well, he does this, Your Honor. You know he does this.

See, he does this. He stipulates to our entire case that we have no record. I'm

just trying to help. Oh, yeah, that was your nickname in grammar school, right?

You were the little helper. Yeah, well, we don't want your help. What's

happening? Quiet.

Counsel in chambers now.

I'm just trying to speed things along. Oh, yeah, you're very thoughtful, Mr.

Helper. That was your nickname, right? A nickname of affection.

I don't have any affection here, and that troubles me.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

How do you really feel?

Be quiet.

Why take up court time with something you don't have to prove?

We admit she robbed a bank.

I'm sorry, I'm a little confused here.

That's exactly how I want you.

Look at his shoes.

Oh, shut up, Doug.

Just one second.

You are the defense attorney.

How can you just admit to the charges?

Defense attorneys don't do that. Oh, no, no, no. He does.

Why?

She's asking you why.

Look, by offering up a straight admission, he preempts us from putting

witnesses to tell our story. Then he puts up his witnesses. So when the jury

goes back to deliberate, they have all the defense witnesses fresh in their

mind, and all they get representing the prosecution is dry stipulation.

I'm shocked.

But that isn't smart. That's dumb.

Thank you.

If you admit to the charges, the case is over.

That doesn't matter how many witnesses he sticks up there. The case is over.

are we arguing? Let's just let me be stupid.

But you're not stupid, Doug.

Now, he's probably going to try and argue something like jury nullification

self -defense.

That's ridiculous.

She walked into a bank with a gun and held it up.

It's on video. Self -defense? That's absurd.

Well... Defense strategy is defense strategy.

But I see no point wasting time trying to prove facts he stipulates to.

One witness, Your Honor. Please allow us one witness to put a face on the

prosecution. I'll stipulate you have a face.

Shut up. Be quiet.

I'll give you one witness.

Then the prosecution rests.

I can't believe you, Doug. You never believe it, but it's always true.

Douglas Swambo, I'll never stop.

Mrs. Neiman, get out.

They're selling them outside.

Ten bucks.

That to me?

You're prettier in person.

You freak.

Zach, go home.

If you want to talk to her, she needs an interpreter.

I know sign language.

Fine.

Interpret this.

Stay away from my son.

I don't like your influence.

Maybe you're the bad influence.

We need you. We've been allowed one witness.

It has to be you.

I have told you I'm just not comfortable doing that. Jill, we're talking about a

woman who's been on a four -year crime spree. Well, I'm not going to testify

her. I just don't want to get on the stand against her.

Please don't make me play my hand against you, Dr. Brock.

I don't want to go after you. I really don't.

She's not afraid of you.

It's okay to break the law sometimes.

Tell him, Mom. Honey, I never said it was okay to break the law.

You told the federal government to stick it when they ordered busing.

You've gone to jail lots of times for contempt when you disobeyed Judge Bone.

Zachary, those were very complicated situations.

And what about the law that said the child molester should get to live here?

Lots of laws suck.

Zachary Brock.

It's true.

That's why the dancing bandit is good, and that's why my mom helped her get

away.

My mother won't help you.

Government sucks.

You hold it right there, young man.

Now you get down here and you apologize to all the people in this room.

No.

What did you say?

I said no.

You get down here right now. You get down here or I'm going to come up... You

shot her in the back.

You're a bad influence.

You get down here.

I was standing there, ready to make a deposit with my son, and suddenly

she just charged into the bank.

She being?

Laurie Bay, right there.

And what happened next, Dr. Brock?

Well, she announced herself. She shot out the video.

She told us all to get on the floor, and her gang proceeded to rob the bank.

She held you all at gunpoint?

Yes.

Were you afraid? Well, of course, we were very afraid.

She opened fire.

Security guards could have shot back.

Police surrounded the place, ready to shoot. My son was there.

It was an armed bank robbery.

Sounds terrifying.

But you later came to believe this person was not a threat to society,

you?

Well, yes, that's true.

In fact, you had your son visit her in the hospital.

You even helped her to escape, didn't you? No, I didn't help her to escape.

knew that she was flying away in a phony FBI helicopter.

Yet you stood back and you said nothing.

Dr. Brock?

I was wrong to do that.

I'm not interested in your hindsight.

True or false?

As Laurie Bay sailed away in a helicopter, you were glad she was

You were glad, weren't you?

Yes. Well, thank you.

Nothing further.

Dr. Brock, are you glad now?

No. I realize that as romantic as the escapades of the

dancing band may be,

She is a criminal, and she should be going to jail.

Thank you.

Did the prosecutors ever threaten to charge you for aiding and abetting...

Objection. Ooh, it seems I touched a nerve.

Any potential charges to be brought against this witness... I'm only looking

bias.

For example, maybe the district attorney promised not to prosecute Dr. Brock if

she gave good testimony here. Objection.

Ooh, two questions, two nerves.

Did that happen, Dr. Brock?

That's not why I'm up here. Did that happen?

Well, sort of.

I think I'm having a wombo moment, Judge.

I could feel the tingle.

What tingle?

You don't want to know.

I feel paralyzed.

I'd even begin to say to him, he makes a gesture like that.

What do I say?

He's hurting, Jimmy.

He adores this woman. We're trying to put her in prison.

He's hurting.

That's an excuse for him doing that. He gave me the finger.

Well, I think you need to resist your natural impulse to... Ground him until

he's 30.

Yeah.

He worships you, Jimmy. You know that. Don't take it personally.

Easier said than done.

The bank was federally insured, so the theft was from the federal government,

not people.

But even so, to steal from the federal government... But I gave it back to the

federal government.

I put the money into flood relief.

I stole money from a federal program that was investigating the benefits of

flatulence. To me, starving people trying to survive a flood...

were more important than cows breaking wind.

Well, we love our cows in Rome. Some of them give birth to humans.

I'm sorry, what?

He said that cows here on occasion bear human children.

I'll strike it as being irrelevant.

Thank you.

Well, let me see if I get this straight.

In robbing the bank, you were simply trying to fight the atrocity of

waste. and reapportion pork barrel federal funding to help the struggling

in need and to make this world a better place for all mankind.

Objection. He's not paraphrasing testimony.

He's making a speech. And I love it.

Quiet. Quiet. They're applauding.

I said quiet.

Had you been at the flood, you would be applauding too. How much money do you

make? What? Objection. Wombo.

I have never, never seen a courtroom like this. Well, you're a big city

attorney. You have no sympathy for the small town.

Objection! And what kind of a woman would run around prosecuting the deaf?

what do you think?

Get off here, now.

All of you.

I will hold you in contempt.

I don't mean it.

I was just trying to characterize you as a horrible person for the jury.

Shut up.

What she did with the money is irrelevant.

And you will ask no more questions about it or I will throw you in jail.

Get back.

I'm sorry, Miss Bay.

The court is not interested how you helped the needy. And the judge doesn't

what you did with the money.

But I promise to Mrs.

Englander, who's sitting over there, whose baby got food, she cares.

Stand up, Mrs. Englander.

Womba! Sit down, Mrs.

Englander.

My hands are tied.

Nothing further.

Tragic.

So, Miss Bay, how are you?

Fine.

Thank you for asking. How are you?

I'm okay.

Um... After you finished robbing the bank, you did a little dance.

Yes. As is your custom, right?

That's why they call you the dancing bandit. You end every caper with a

performance. Yes.

And according to your little pronouncement in the bank, one of the

do this is to establish a folklore to humanize you, which would really come in

handy with a jury should you ever be brought to trial.

You said this, didn't you?

Well, sometimes when I'm robbing a bank, I shoot my mouth off a little.

The truth is, I just love to dance.

You truly are an infectious personality.

Objection to the term infectious, Judge.

It makes us sound the diseased, ill, or handicapped.

She says that because my client is deaf and Jewish.

You should be ashamed.

The jury will disregard defense counsel's last remark.

Continue, Ms. Neiman.

Zachary?

Zach?

Would you come up here for a second?

Objection! Oh, I'm not calling him as a witness. I just want him to stand beside

me for a second.

After everything he's been doing, you've got to give me some latitude.

Zachary.

Please step up here.

Hi.

What'd you get up there?

Oh, my gosh. This is a dancing bandit doll, isn't it?

Where'd you get this?

They're throwing them outside.

This is the little boy you came to say happy birthday to, isn't it?

Yes. Oh, he is so cute.

You know, you've got to be the most sympathetic defendant in the world.

You steal from the rich, you give to the poor, you risk your freedom to wish

your little boy a happy birthday.

The dancing bandit.

I suppose you know there's a whole flock of people from Los Angeles in town just

dying to buy the movie rights to your story.

Miss Neiman, there's latitude and there's latitude.

You know what I object to most?

Not that you steal.

Privately, I kind of cheer for your cause, as I'm sure everybody does in

whole room.

Like he does.

I object to the dancing.

That's why I'm coming after you so hard. Because you dance.

Make it so fun.

What did you give him for his birthday? Is this relevant?

I haven't a clue.

What did you give him?

A book called High Stick by Teddy Green.

Well, that's not all that you gave him.

Last night, I saw this little boy and heard him tell his parents that it's

to break the law.

I heard him say that the federal government sucks.

And this cute little boy...

I saw him extend his middle finger and make an obscene gesture to the sheriff.

The sheriff, who also happens to be his father.

Did you do that, Zach?

Yeah.

Why?

He's the police.

That's what you gave this child for his birthday.

The fact you never shot anybody doesn't mean you're not dangerous.

Far as I can tell, you do more than rob banks.

You stole something from this family.

What's the little dance that goes with that?

You've treated enough, Counsel.

Okay.

I'm done.

Defendants can do their own closings. Are you already clear to a Judge Bone?

No.

I'm too scared.

Laurie, that was a good trick she did, pulling Zack up there for the jury to

see.

You'll have to close.

But what will I say?

Who knows?

Under facts, you go to jail.

Under law, you go to jail.

There's a theory called jury nullification, which technically...

We're not allowed to argue.

But maybe we should try it anyway.

Oh, I could always say that I told you not to use it, but you couldn't hear me

because the batteries in your little hearing aid went dead.

But the main thing to remember is this.

A jury is made of people, which makes our system human and very imperfect.

That's our best hope.

He wanted to hear closing arguments, so I thought we could sit together.

Ms. Neiman talked about what I gave Zachary Brock for his birthday.

Maybe I gave him the idea that law and order is not important.

That being a criminal is okay.

If I sent that message, that was wrong, and I apologize.

But maybe I gave him the idea that laws need to be questioned, that sometimes

government needs to be looked at with scrutiny.

Sometimes it's hard to really tell the good guys from the bad guys.

If I gave him that for his birthday, good.

But Zach...

I told you this last year and I tell you again.

I'm not a hero.

I don't believe in heroes.

I believe in people trying hard to leave a situation better off than how they

found it.

Your father does that. He does it every day.

I tried to do that too.

Here's what it comes down to.

If you think that society would be better off with me in jail, put me away.

If you don't, don't.

In either case, the dancing bandit is no more.

I will never rob another bank or commit another crime.

I promise.

And I never break my promises.

Do I?

It's one thing.

to target the bad people in government, if you condemn the person just because

he's in government, just because they're the police, if children are picking up

that signal from me, then Ms. Neiman was absolutely right.

This bandit has no right to dance.

My intentions have always been good.

I know that's not enough.

I believe she's just escaped.

Just kidding.

Your turn

Well

delightful right to the end You know, it's so easy to almost forget that

she walked into a bank with a gun started shooting Causing the police to

surround the place taking aim on it with a full arsenal of weapons

innocent people inside.

She created a crisis situation.

Lives could so easily have been lost.

That is not delightful.

Lori Bay is a dangerous criminal.

She wants to tap into your frustration with the government, evoke compassion

who she is. Fine.

Be frustrated.

Like her.

Even admire her a little. I certainly do.

But don't let it blind you to the fact that she is a bank robber.

This woman is the defendant's friend.

Part of her, I bet, is even hoping for an acquittal today.

And yet she took the stand and she testified against her.

Why?

Because sometimes justice has got to win out over what's popular.

Sometimes you have to go against your sympathetic instincts and do the tough

jobs. Tough jobs.

Because truth demands it.

And now... Now it becomes your work.

You want to set her free.

Of course you do.

The thought of her being in jail, it seems atrocious.

Truth is tough, ugly work.

Maybe there aren't heroes anymore.

But I have to believe there are heroic acts.

And for the sake of truth, and yes, justice, you must

find Laurie Bay guilty.

Thank you.

She's going to jail.

Isn't she?

Well, both sides gave good closing arguments.

But, you know, she might get a light sentence because she's a philanthropist.

A what?

means well.

Sorry I gave you the finger.

You all right?

Yeah.

Hey, Jerry's back.

Already?

She's fried.

Mr. Foreman, has the jury reached a verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

What say you?

In the matter of People v. Laurie Bay, on the charges of felony robbery,

kidnapping, and false imprisonment, we find the defendant not guilty.

Quiet down!

I said quiet!

Members of the jury, this is the time I thank you for your service and adjourn

the case.

But your service was terrible.

There was no factual dispute before you.

You had no basis whatsoever for an acquittal.

You didn't have the guts to put her away. That's what happened.

You all decided to become dancing bandits yourselves and forsake the law.

But guess what?

The defendant is not free to go.

I will see her and counsel in chambers now.

Our system of justice may be imperfect, but it shouldn't be this imperfect while

I'm on the bench.

You were a... Putrid jury.

Adjourned.

Chambers.

Get out.

What a victory.

I wish all my clients were deaf.

Shut up.

Just a little wombo acquittal humor.

Here's the deal, counsel.

Plea bargain.

The jury verdict aside, I find your client in civil contempt.

And I sentence her to 3 ,000 hours of community service.

What? She can work right here in Rome. I can see she's got talent.

We'll find a way to put it to use. Well, you can't do that. I just did.

Are you prosecuting her on any of the federal charges?

I don't know.

Well, you can't do this. Not even you. She got an acquittal. It's over. You

can't sentence her with... I did it. Well, then I will appeal.

No.

I'll take it.

You don't have to. You're completely free.

I'll take it. It's fair.

It isn't fair.

You going to prison would be fair.

You're getting another chance, young lady.

Most criminals don't.

And you are a criminal. Make no mistake.

I've just bought your soul.

Don't you dare let me down.

I won't.

All's a -crawling with press.

Excellent. A victory is nothing without the opportunity to rehash it. Come, my

little friend.

Hold on.

Oh, boy.

Did I pick the wrong place to try this case?

You think it'd be different anyplace else?

I don't know.

What I said about there being no heroes?

She was right.

I think it might be one.

For testifying against you?

It was his idea.

Good influence.

He's okay.

I know.

Come, my little friend. I need to revel.

What happened?

The judge says I have to stay here.

Oh, good.

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