All language subtitles for Packed To The Rafters s05e04 The Things We Do for Love

Give me a freaking break.

Love songs? What a load of crap.

Am I right?

I'm a realist.

Love is for pussies.

It's cool.

Don't panic. Everything's fine.

Just say something awesome and don't act
like a dick.

Yo!

What? No.

What? I didn't say yo. I said hello.

Oi, stop laughing, would ya?

Hey, do you want another coffee?

Oh, no, I'm pretty certain if I have one
more I'll be able to see through time.

So, what did you want to see me about?

Alright, uh, I have a bit of a
confession to make. Oh, juicy.

Don't be a knob about it. I need to be
able to trust you.

Promise you won't tell anyone?

Absolutely, I'm totally trustworthy.

Alright, alright, here goes.

Oh, no, it's really embarrassing. I
mean, it's so early on in the new job

everything, and I... I kind of told a
lie during my interview.

Nothing major, like I wasn't born with
eight arms or anything like that. It's

just... My driver's licence is sort of a
little bit suspended.

How suspended?

Totally suspended.

Wow.

It wasn't my fault. I've just used up
all my demerit points on all this silly

little stuff. Like, I pulled over to
take a phone call and I got booked

I left the car engine running. Oh, that
sucks.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Okay,

so you can't drive at all now?

Not for another week.

And that's been fine because Dave's
mostly given me jobs where you can

Until now.

Exactly. He's called me this morning and
I have a job that I have no way of

getting to without breaking the law.

I can drive you.

Really? I don't want to be a hassle.

No, no hassle. No, it makes perfect
sense.

Got yourself a chauffeur.

Thank you.

I don't remember calling you in.

Look, I don't expect to get paid.

I just thought I should hang with
Frankie, get a few pointers on today's

All part of the learning curve, eh?

Is that right?

Yeah, well, I mean, how am I supposed to
get better unless I watch someone more

experienced at work?

All right, then.

Knock yourself out.

Good to go?

Great to go.

It's almost like if I was into a chick,
not that I am, but if I was, nobody

would ever know.

Well, looks like there could be some
romance in the air. Oh!

Oh, I love this game. Don't tell me.

John from the supermarket and Carla from
the food court.

What? No.

Jake and Retta. Are you out of your
mind? I know. It'd be scandalous though,

wouldn't it?

I wonder about you sometime with Julie.
I really do.

Oh, go on then. Tell me.

Toby. Oh.

And Frankie.

Really? Yeah, it's a little bit one
-sided, I think. Oh, that's so sweet.

Is it? Yeah, the Toby we first met
wouldn't even look me in the eye and now

got a sweetheart.

Well, it's hardly a sweetheart.

Hey, Ted.

Oh, what's all that?

I'm making dinner.

No, we're going out.

It's not for you. I've invited Donna
over.

Remember her? My autumn -spring romance.
Dad, that just slipped out.

On the bloody radio.

Maybe next time I'll hire a skywriter.

Look, I don't have a problem with you
returning the favour to Donna, but does

have to be here?

I mean, I haven't cleaned, and there's
washing everywhere.

Come on, children, Ted's home too. He
can have guests if he wants.

Thank you, Dave.

We'll make ourselves scarce for you,
Ted.

Much appreciated.

What? You don't want Donna here, do you?
Well, this is weird.

I mean, Donna works with Ben.

So? Well, and she's meant to be my
friend.

I don't know, I just feel a bit close to
home or something.

Oh, but it was all very sweet when it
was Frankie and Kirby we were talking

about. No, well, that's different. Yeah,
and told you in confidence. No

broadcasting on the radio.

Ha -ha.

When my father decides to date my
friend, then that is actually my

And I've got every right to talk about
it. Okay, but you know your father.

You make an issue out of this, and I'm
just going to encourage him.

I can't believe it's starting you on a
Saturday.

Oh, yeah, it's one of their busiest
days. I just hope I can handle it.

Of course you can. Okay, so, how do I
look?

Hot as.

Check it out, Ben, eh? Don't you feel
quite as? So, um...

What have you two got planned for the
day?

This.

And what does this entail exactly?

Oh, you're looking at it.

But sick, yeah.

It's a nice day outside. Why don't you
make the most of it? This is me making

the most of it.

Why don't you ditch work and join us?

Ben, I can't call him sick on my first
day at work.

Cool. Can you pass a wee remote on your
way out?

Enjoy the couch.

Enjoy the office. Good luck.

She's so jealous. So what do you get up
to when you're not working?

Murder people who ask too many personal
questions.

Hide their bodies in the tip.

You don't need to be so defensive.

I'm not being defensive.

I'm just a prophet.

Oh, come on. I told you a secret. Now
you owe me one. It doesn't have to be

Oh, wow. A suspended licence reminds me
to spill about my time in juvie.

All right, smartass.

That's why the better we stand here and
talk about the weather.

What do you do? What are you passionate
about? What music do you listen to?

Yeah, I'll start. My name's Frankie. I'm
really into movies, martial arts,

whatever.

Indie bands and tattoos. Go. I didn't
know you had tattoos. I don't. Not yet.

But I really want one.

I just keep trying to pick the right
design.

So far I've thought of everything from
anchors to Celtic tattoos.

You don't think about it. You just rock
up totally hammered to a tattoo. Pardon,

say that one.

Yeah, but I'm fickle.

Like right now, I'm pretty fixated on
the idea of two bluebirds here.

Maybe my shoulder.

Possibly my foot.

You really know what you want, eh?

Your turn.

I'll paint a bit and draw.

That's really great. I'm hopeless at
art. I didn't say I was any good.

Yeah, I know you arty types. A bit of
painting, a bit of drawing.

Bet you've got some masterpiece hidden
away that's going to make your kids a

million bucks when you're dead.

I knew it! Freaking genius over here.

Hey, um, listen, thanks for covering for
me this morning with Dave and

everything. It was a big deal.

No, all good.

No, seriously, I owe you one.

Maybe I'll buy one of your more
expensive works and you can run off to

and live with eight wives and all that
good.

So, what's on the menu?

Oysters.

You're serving oysters?

Yeah, with vegetables.

Pureed, of course. I mean, perfect for a
cradle -statching geriatric in his

girlfriend.

It's a stir -fry.

Sure you don't want to join us? I'll get
it.

Well, anyway, don't know what time we'll
be back.

Could be any time.

Enjoy yourselves.

Oh, hi.

Hi. Oh, don't mind us. We're, um...
We're going out.

To give you some space.

Oh, how pleasant.

I brought wine.

Oh, lovely.

I've got some too.

Are we off?

Yes, we're off. Okay, bye. Bye then.

Who needs it? All that lovey -dovey
holding hands and doing things for each

other. Garbage.

I'm a loner.

I just do things for me.

Whoa! Where are you off to?

I've got to shift.

Of course.

Yeah. Thank you. First day went well?
Amazing.

I just feel so energised, you know? Like
I could take on the world. Like I

could... Where's Carbo?

He's, uh... Has he even moved once all
day?

Oh, I have a vague memory of him getting
up around 1 .30 to go to the toilet.

See ya.

Carbo! How was work, babe?

Yeah, good.

Thank you.

What's, uh...

That's not it. This is totally awesome.

Is this going from a zygote hiding out
on Earth?

You're a total slob. You haven't moved
once from this couch all day.

Not true. I did get up twice to top up.

Oh, speaking of which.

Tell me you've at least worked out our
plans for tonight.

Yeah, I was thinking of a couple quick
games with the sexy librarian and an

early night's on the budget.

You're hopeless.

No. And a slob. No.

I'm so good looking.

Well,

Ed, this is lovely.

I didn't know you were such a good cook.
Well, I wouldn't call this cooking.

It's just a cheese plate.

Well, arranging then.

You know, I'm very glad you accepted my
invitation.

Didn't know whether you would after,
well, after all that radio palaver.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

Oh, yes, it does.

I know it made you feel uncomfortable.

But we're adults, and what we do is none
of Julie's business.

Well, I'm glad you say that, Ted,
because... Hello, I'm Ellie.

Hi. Oh, sorry. I didn't interrupt.

Ruby was being a nightmare, so we had to
leave.

Oh, well, I mean, she's fine now.

She was in it before.

Oh, darling, could you get me a glass of
white, please?

No, I think you might have had enough.

Oh.

Oh.

Sorry. Maybe later.

As you were.

Oh, look who decided to make a cameo.
Pull up a pew.

Tell us what you've been up to out
there. Yeah, you've been pretty

lately, haven't you, Cobes? It's a need
-to -know basis, and you don't. See?

I'm rooted.

Hey, sir.

Oh, that's what you've been up to out
there?

Yes.

Yes, mate. You can see a stray lingerie
model walking around the joint. Send her

back to the garage. She's lost, mate.
Yeah, hang on. I'll ask him.

Either of you two want to go down and
back up? Yes, I'm in. Nah, I'm not.

That's a yes and a no.

Yeah, righto. We'll catch you there.
Tell Frankie we won't be long.

Right.

No, no.

No, no, no, no. Oi, that's weird. I've
called a cab.

They should be here by now.

Do you reckon I should call again? I'm
just going to call and check. Well, I

thought you were staying in, bro.

Yeah, well, I changed my mind, didn't I?
That's not a crime.

What, did you change your mind about
washing your hair too?

Jeez, mate, that would be the first time
in months, wouldn't it?

Coconut?

Oh, forget the anti -dandruff. You've
really gone top shelf.

What, are you out to pick up tonight or
something? As if. I can't think of

anything worse.

Oh, on hold.

Maybe I should call another one.

Hey, Boots, you're a caddy. Why don't
you get one of your mates and come pick

up?

No, logic.

Picking up.

Right.

Save love for the pussy losers.

I've got better things to think about.

I thought you said not long.

Don't tell me you weren't able to relax
until I arrived.

Relax? I couldn't concentrate. My night
was incomplete.

If that's your way of trying to get me
to buy you a drink, that's not working.

Well, maybe just a little bit. Hey, tell
me there's someone here under 40

looking for a slightly shop -sored
musician who can hold his breath

for nearly three minutes. Seriously,
that's going to be your opening line?

no, I'd like to start with you have
beautiful eyes. You go from there.

Who's up for a drink? Yeah.

Okay.

I thought Frankie was supposed to be
here.

Running late, I guess.

I have no idea how that girl ever makes
it to work on time. I'm pretty certain

she gets extra sleep in the shower.

Hey, you've been an early riser lately,
mate. Maybe you could give her some

tips. Yeah.

I don't know.

Who's up for some drinks?

Really? Matt's already at the bar. You
ordered like ten seconds ago. Yep.

Yep. Right you are. You're not really
with us, are you, buddy?

Frankie!

I think he heard you.

Can we just eat on the couch?

Are you serious?

I just started getting comfortable.

What? Now?

Well, no, I was comfortable before, but
this is like a whole new level of

comfort. It's like the code green of the
comfort world.

Yeah, it's the moment to my skin.

Oh, code orange.

Cabo, this is ridiculous.

We need to talk. Code red, code red,
code... Sorry.

Today at work, my bosses laid out a five
-year plan for the company. It was

amazing. It made sense.

That's... good? I know. Good.

Planning is what we should be doing.

Planning in a broader sense.

You can't spend the next five years
sitting on this couch and working at

cousin's flower shop.

Why not?

Because you can't.

We need to have a sense of where we're
going with our lives. Well, we do. We do

know where we're going. You know, we're
saving up for house deposits.

Yeah. I saw your IOU, by the way. Why
are you taking money out of the house

deposit for pizza? Don't worry about
that. I'll pay that back, I swear.

One of us had to draft this five -year
plan, so I made a head start.

Yeah. Looks.

So, when we have a baby... Sorry?

A baby. Are you... Are we having... No,
no, no, no, no, no, no. Not yet.

In five years. Look at the plan. Okay,
so which one's the baby? The blue

squiggle or the red star?

I'm not even trying to understand.

I need pictures. Oh, honestly, Carbo,
why would I want a baby when I've got

It's like you're only one step away from
breastfeeding.

Well, yeah, I'm up for anything if you
ask nicely.

I will do this with no clothes on at
all. I swear to God.

And she goes freaking fast, totally
stark.

That's true.

The roadies used to call the pants off
Pamela.

Not her face, of course.

Quite too difficult to maintain eye
contact. Oh, yeah, you could say that.

Unless it was a brown eye. Oh, I thought
ladies weren't supposed to talk in such

a crass way.

I'm the one who will ask her.

Jotting with chicks?

Easy. Just get them laughing and they
are putty in your hands.

Did I ever tell you about that time?
Jono and Straub were hitchhiking and

got picked up by that chick from that
film.

What was it called?

Oh, you're going to need a bit more
information than that.

It's coming to me.

Was it The Australian?

Yeah. Muriel's Wedding. Oh, I love that
movie.

I know. It was Muriel's Wedding. But it
doesn't matter. She was pretty famous

and...

She was exactly like a complete idiot,
like, you know, one of them princesses,

right? And she dropped them off at the
Koolong Servo, and when she was

paying for the petrol, Jono put a
barker's egg in her table pot.

What's a barker's egg?

A dog turd. Great.

Have they picked it up with his bare
hands? No.

How did he get it from the ground into
the... Doesn't matter. How?

That's, you know, not the point.

So what is the point?

It's my round, right?

He even managed to talk me into having a
turn on his skateboard.

Oh, good on you, Cooper.

How'd you go?

Oh, I grabbed onto the railing, rolled
about two feet and whoosh! Oh, you dear

devil.

Don't mind me, I'm just getting some
water.

You ought to have seen him at Lazy Tag.
Oh, yes.

You'd think he'd take it easy on an old
bloke, but no, no mercy at all.

You know, there's some more food here.

Donna, there's some dried figs, prunes.

I'm sure you think all these digs about
age difference are very clever.

Oh,

no, no, I didn't mean you.

I'm sure you didn't.

You're not going.

It's getting late. No, no, no, Donna,
please.

I was just getting some water. Thanks,
Ted. Very kind of you. Donna.

You all right there?

Oh, I've gone insane. I've gone
completely insane.

Well, I don't get why you play
performing songs in the first place. Why

you play a bit of what? Black rock.

That was it.

Oh, I've got a bat stick in between.

Oh, yeah. Mate, should you be taking it
easy?

I'm fine.

Mate, it's just you're knocking on the
back of this bar.

That's because I'm thirsty.

Are you sure you're all right?

I'm awesome.

I'm awesome.

It's not like I'm not up to holding the
drink or anything.

I've got iron caps.

It's just that sometimes when you mix or
don't eat dinner or something... Oi,

mate. You don't look so good.

Come on. You don't look good. I'm just
going to go get some air.

Sorry about that. I'm sorry.

He's on his way.

There you are.

You okay?

Fine.

You don't look fine.

I might go for a walk.

You sure you don't want to call an
ambulance this time? I might.

You have a good night, eh?

Oh, you're back.

Dad, I'm sorry.

Are you now?

Look, I know I didn't behave well
tonight.

I want to apologise.

There you go.

And you have done.

Good for you.

Good night. No, Dad, I didn't intend to
ruin your evening.

And look at what a good job you did.

Imagine if you'd have tried.

It's just...

It's a strange situation for me to be
in. My father and my friend having a

romantic dinner in my house.

And I reacted badly. I'm sorry.

As my daughter and Donna's friend,
supposedly, I'd have thought you'd want

see us both happy.

Well, of course I want that.

But we're enjoying each other's company.
That's it.

And the more you start fucking about it,
the bigger the deal it becomes.

Now, you're the one responsible for all
the trouble and hurt, Julie.

And frankly, I've had a gutful.

Carberry, you going to play Nintendo?

No, thank you, mate.

Corridor World Cup.

I've been practising my dive so I don't
smash my head into the bathroom door.

What am I doing with my life, Benno?

Who am I going to be?

Have you been watching that Christian
call -in show again?

No. Have you? No.

I'd rather think I'm a dead weight.

She said that.

I don't want those words.

It's all about plans now. Five -year
plans.

Yeah. Where are we going? When are we
going to do stuff?

Look at me.

I've got the next five minutes covered.

There's nothing wrong with that.

It's a spontaneous way to live.

Well, if I keep it going, mate, she's
going to ditch me.

Is it that serious?

I don't know.

But I want to start changing stuff
before we get that way.

I need a five -year plan.

That's what she wants.

Oops.

Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, bro.

Huh? I wasn't sleeping.

Just resting your eyes.

Yep, something like that.

Do you want a cuppa?

If you're anything stronger, I could go
with whiskey.

Oh, look out.

Might leave you two to it.

You had enough water, bro?

Yeah.

Thank you, Mum.

You don't need to bite my head off.

Hey, what happened to Matt and Frankie?
Did they stay for another drink or

something? No, no, no. Matt knew another
band playing down at the Legacy, so

they went off there together.

Right, Kirby?

You see, this is why I steer clear of
love.

Because it sucks.

Big time.

that? It's Sunday morning.

Oi, oi.

Just leave him be. Are you serious?

It's like living next door to Guns N'
Roses.

I'm going to go in there and say bye to
his theory. No, no, no, mate. Look, go

easy on him, alright?

I think co -ops might be suffering.

Well, right, so we all are.

Suffering how?

Well, I was just reading the signs, you
know.

Mood swings, heavy on the booze, and now
this. I think this.

Might be the music of heartbreak. What
that is the music of heartbreak?

This is a crime against music.

Not to mention my eardrums.

You're up early.

I've been working.

What is it?

A five -year plan, obviously.

Can I see?

Yeah.

Notice you've marked the World Cup in
fairly big letters.

Yeah, yeah, and that's where we go to
visit Mum in Greece.

And there's your birthdays.

Won't be for you to know.

And what are these bits?

Wedding anniversaries.

Five of them.

Coe, this isn't a plan.

This is a diary.

No, it pays to be up to speed.

Hey, um, what's this bit?

Become manager of the flower shop. Yeah,
you said to be ambitious.

Yeah, but how are you going to become
the manager?

I don't know.

Get us through to something.

Okay. And what's this brown smudge thing
meant to signify? That's... Oh, I

spilled pie on that bit.

Carbo, this is hopeless, the whole
thing.

What do you mean? This is good.

My plan has goals and targets. Yours has
scratch and sniff.

How are they ever going to match up?

Got a sec?

Sure.

Hey, what's all this?

Nothing.

I'm just here for a chat.

Yep, as they all say, then they ask for
money.

Mate, we've all been there. We've all
fallen for someone.

Are you still drunk or something? I
should ask people to take a breath, eh,

before they come in here. Seriously.
It's a rite of passage. You fall for

someone, you do something crazy.

It's okay.

Nothing happened with me and Frankie
last night. So? What if it did?

I thought you might like to know. No, I
don't know what you're talking about.

You know, when I was 19, I got stuck in
a list into white.

Used to stand outside a bedroom window
at night.

Pervert. Just waiting for a light to go
off so I knew she was safe asleep or

something.

One night, I gathered all my courage.

I picked up a handful of pebbles.

I just wanted her to know I was there.

Gently throw a pebble against the
window.

Smile. Say hello.

So what happened?

Well, I must have chucked that first
pebble a bit too hard.

Smashed the window.

But a glass flew into her face just
above her eyebrow.

Yeah, she got seven stitches and
everyone at the school dance called her

of Chucky.

Well, I guess she'll never forget me,
eh?

So how's that supposed to help me?

No idea.

Thanks for coming over.

I'm sorry if I was a bit frosty on the
phone.

Oh, no, I deserved it.

Here's your jacket.

Thank you.

Listen, I was, um... I was way out of
line last night.

I'm really sorry.

I told Ted not to make a fuss.

No. I wasn't, Dad.

I behaved really badly.

That's kind of you. Thank you. No, it's
not kind. It's just honest.

I had a really good friend who confessed
that she had feelings for Dave.

Made our friendship really difficult.

In fact, it never really recovered.

But Ted is your father, not your
husband. Yeah, I know.

But if... Say if something bad happens
between you and Dad, my loyalties

lie with him. They have to.

And that's going to make things
difficult between you and me.

What if nothing bad happens?

Yeah, but what... No, think about it,
Julie. What if nothing bad happens?

Should I sacrifice my shot at happiness

Hypothetical chance that you might feel
uncomfortable?

All right, well, maybe I'm being
overcautious.

I think it might be more than that.

Can I speak plainly?

Well, I have a feeling you're going to.

Well, we've talked about this before,
but you're still spending an awful lot

time here, at home.

In fact, between Dave, Ruby and work,
these four walls are your life.

And now even your blog keeps you at
home.

Yeah, well, I suppose that's true.

Maybe, just maybe, you're letting
yourself get a little bit too caught up

lives of others.

So what you're really saying is... You
need to get out more, Julie.

OK. Well, thank you for your honesty.

I always find it's the best policy.

Don't you?

I'm never having anything to do with
women again.

In fact, if Jessica Alba called up right
now, I wouldn't even answer the phone.

Even if she was naked, I'd just tell her
to put some clothes on.

Don't be a dick again.

Don't be a dick.

Yo!

Yo, yourself.

How are you feeling?

Have I caught you at a bad time?

No, no, good.

I just wanted to see how you pulled up
after your big drunk -a -thon.

Fine.

Good, well.

Three out of three.

Excellent.

So, are you still all right to drive me
to the job tomorrow?

Yeah. I mean, no problem.

All right.

Well, I'm sorry to be such a leech. I
promise I get my driver's license back

day now.

But in the meantime, you rule.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Sure, bye.

Sweet. It's Monday morning.

Yeah, so?

Well, you're happier than anyone has a
right to be on a Monday morning.

Something happened?

No, nothing happened. I can wake up
happy, can't I? Yeah, of course you can.

We'll beat it out of you by lunchtime.

Yo! Oh, yeah, righto.

Morning.

You OK to head off to the job now?

Kelby and I have got a few bits and
pieces to do here, then we'll join you.

Or I could grab us all coffees and drop
Frankie on the way.

You too?

Yeah, no dramas.

So, I'll see you on site, and a strong
latte, yes? No, no, I think it'd be more

useful here.

Dave, Dave, it's my shower.

Don't knock it.

Ready to roll?

Dave, you couldn't lend us a tenner,
could you?

I've got it all worked out. I'm going to
pitch for a massive contract at the

funeral home. Boom!

And a supply of flowers, big business,
mega bucks. Can't fail.

Boom! That's your five -year plan? Part
of it. Business part.

Well, I think you look great. If I was
running the funeral home, I'd give you a

contract straight away.

Exactly. It's all in the presentation.

Ooh.

Lilac shirt.

Interesting choice.

It shows I've got character, Benno. I
think outside of the box.

Is that really the best turn of phrase
when you're pitching to a funeral home?

Ignore him.

Go and knock him dead.

Yeah. Again.

What? You could have been more
encouraging.

Oh, what?

I helped him with his five -year plan. I
was super encouraging.

Well, he's done more.

Yeah, he's. Look, he's all over it.

House here, holiday here.

Funded how, exactly?

Oh, he's thought of that, too.

Penguin on scratchies.

What does that say?

Make Greta happy.

He has that on his plan?

I told him it was stupid.

It's not stupid.

It's beautiful.

Yes, it is.

God, I can't believe what I've been
trying to do. Carpool doesn't make

I could have told you that the minute he
asked me to stick an ice cream wrapper

on for decoration.

Oi, eyes on the job, please.

Oh, sorry.

My friends have sent me a new design.

Oh, yeah? For what?

A tattoo.

Bluebirds? No, it's a tribal thing.

Oh, you're back on the tribal. Yeah,
yeah, I changed my mind again.

You're hopeless. You'd better figure out
what you want before you get it

permanently stuck on your arm.

I know, I know.

I just need time to get used to one
thing.

Stop laughing.

Otherwise I'm going to end up one of
those women covered in laser scars.

Even that'd suit you, I reckon.

Aren't you sweet?

Yeah, no problems, love. I'll get
Frankie onto it.

We'll catch you later.

Hey, Frankie, I need you to cover a new
job in McCarthy Street. You can take my

van.

What about me?

I'll supervise you.

Don't worry, I won't leave you alone
around any power tools. No, no, no. I

what about me? Why can't I go?

What are you on about, Kelly? You're an
apprentice.

Are you saying I'm not ready for it? Is
that it? No, I'm saying you're not

qualified for starters. Look, if you
don't believe in me, if you don't

I'm up to a new challenge, why am I even
here?

Why am I wasting your time and mine?
Because if you don't have faith in me as

worker, then you should have the balls
to say it to my face.

I think what my slightly deranged pal
here is trying to say is that I don't

a licence.

He's very kindly trying to cover for me.

This is awkward.

So you just thought guys would cover for
you?

Oi, give it a rest.

I can't believe you can't drive. Like,
what a hassle. I can drive.

I'm just on a break. Yeah, and in fourth
break.

You're really not mad?

I just don't understand why you didn't
fess up in the first place. I mean, it's

not like you stabbed a man.

Or run him over with a car.

Oh, wait, you can't drive, so you
wouldn't... Oh!

Oh, how long is this going to last? How
long was your licence suspended for?

No, seriously, Frankie, why all the
secrecy?

I was embarrassed, and I really, really
wanted the job.

You're not going to hoon around in my
work van, are you?

No, and not one of the fines was for
speeding or running a red light or

dangerous. Nothing else you're hiding
from me?

Nothing. Promise? Promise.

Aside from the fact that I was born a
man, but that's more a fun fact.

I'm kidding.

Hey,

how'd it go?

Oh, let's just say it didn't quite work
out how I planned.

In what way?

In the way that I didn't get the
contract.

But I don't want you to stress, because
I'll be back on that road tomorrow.

Suits.

Time, everything.

Five -year plan, ready to go.

Look at you.

You're exhausted.

No, no, I'm just recharging my
batteries.

You really need to drop this whole five
-year plan thing.

Why?

It's important to you. And I'm happy to
be the one taking charge.

Just because you're not in the same
headspace as me right now, that's okay.

I'll be the driver.

Well, this job really has changed you.

You're like the boss.

Is that weird for you?

No.

It's kind of hard.

I know who you are, and I accept it, and
I love you for it.

If you want to be a florist, be a
florist.

For the time being, I do.

Then do it.

We'll move forward together.

Also, honey, you're not wearing any
sock.

Oh, yeah?

I wondered why my feet were so sweaty.

See?

Where would you be without me? Oh, I
don't know. Probably homeless or really

fat. Or both.

Speaking of which, you want me to make
dinner? I reckon I'm capable of that.

Go for it. Yes.

Hang on.

Oh. Oh, you're going to let me in? I'll
come there and give.

What sort of gift?

Doesn't matter.

Let me say thank you with a little bit
of dignity, would you?

What?

Well... Canvas and paint.

A gift from the heart of my bottom.

I don't...

I don't really know what to say.

Start with thank you. We'll take it from
there. Right. Yes.

Thank you.

Seriously.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So that's where the magic happens.

Oh, yeah.

It's not really the magic, but just
mucking around and stuff.

Yeah, it's still better than everyone
else just sitting around on their ass.

Yeah.

I mean, there's this one thing I'm...

I'm working on. It's still early days,
though. It's probably crap, but it's

of what I'm into.

Well, hang on. Do you want to... I'll
show you. Yeah.

It's not like I'm showing Frankie my
stuff because I'm trying to tune her or

in love or anything stupid like that.

Well, you might.

That's all.

Sorry, the answer's going to have to be
no.

And no amount of arm twisting's going to
help.

Or flattery, for that matter.

Yeah, maybe next time.

Okay, thanks, Adam. Bye.

So?

Oh, the paper's food writer is ill and
Adam wants me to write up a restaurant.

Well, what are you still doing here? Go.

Darling, watching cooking shows doesn't
make me a food critic. I've got no idea

how to write up a restaurant.

What do they expect you to do?

Well, 300 worth tops.

More of an advertorial than a review.
And he said, skew it towards positive.

Well, you do that with my cooking all
the time.

Darling, even if I could do it. Which
you can.

I don't have the time.

Between invoices and Ruby's bar, you
know, there's a column due next week.

What is it?

Oh, just something someone said.

Adam, hi, it's Julie.

I've changed my mind. Can I ask a really
big favour?

I can barely walk.

Oh, me neither.

No wonder food critics are so fat.

Did we have to eat all four desserts?

Well, they kept bringing the food out.
It would have been rude to say no. Or

would it have been rude to smuggle home
the leftovers?

Yeah, well, you should have.

Next time, grab a cheesecake, shove it
up your jumper and make a run for it.

Did someone mention cheesecake? Oh,
sorry, Dad. I'll take you next time.

Thanks for including me.

You said to get out more. We just did.

Anyway,

I'll just go and check on him.

Good to see you two getting along.

Well, Julie and I were friends a long
time before you and I were... whatever

is we are.

How does good friends sound?

Yeah, I need to brush my teeth. Yeah, I
think I'm in a plastic again.

What's in those peepers? Nothing we
don't normally have. You know,

salami, beef mince. Please don't say
they're numbing me.

Oh, that's weird, because I feel totally
fine.

Mmm, bully for you.

Oh, I just can't do this right again.

Oh, honey, as much as I'd like to
congratulate you on not vomiting, I

going to vomit again, so can you just
shut the door when you leave? Okay.

Hey, maybe it's a tick thing. All the
dudes who ate it are fine.

A cheat scene?

This was not a part of the plan.

Okay, not all love songs suck.

Depends on your mood, kind of.

Like licorice.

Frankie's an awesome chick, and there's
nothing wrong with having awesome chicks

in your life.

In a mate's way, I mean, nothing weird.

She'll probably end up one day with some
bloke she's really into, and that'll be

good. Not that I care who she ends up
with.

Me. Not me. Whoever.

Just so long as she's happy and stuff.

I'm sure she'll settle on the right dude
eventually.