Original subtitles

In life, we answer a lot of calls.

Calls of nature, calls of duty.

And of course, those more obvious ones.

Hello, Julie Rafter.

Nathan! Hey!

How are you?

Where are you?

What? What time is it?

Some calls are welcome.

Some, less so.

Hello, Julie Rafter.

Like bladder leakage?

No, I... Who am I speaking to?

And some just plain intriguing.

Yeah, hello.

Oh, hi, darling.

What?

OK, we'll be right out.

Oh! What do you think? Hey, great. Very eye -catching.

Turned a few heads on the way? Yeah.

What time are you picking Kirby up from the airport?

After the Graham Street job.

Can't wait to hear about this trip.

Yeah. Hey, good luck with the interview.

Hey. Hey, Bubba. How are you?

Oh, hey.

I thought we'd retired Miss 1994.

Yeah, I thought so too, but maths obviously had other ideas.

I wonder whatever happened to Celeste.

Probably her grandmother.

Unlike my beautiful and ever young wife who's about to turn... Another year

older, it's no big deal.

Now, first applicant's here at 10, so I'm just going to get this one changed.

OK. Oh,

hang on. That's my phone.

Who's that?

Oh, Ben.

You excited?

Only one more sleep.

Oh, I'm excited about having most of my beautiful family with me to celebrate.

Oh, look at him and Rachel.

No, and you.

Yeah, right.

Oh, and Nathan will be with us in 30. He says hi, by the way. Oh, cool. I'll

Facebook him.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know Shanghai Express is all booked.

Oh.

Why? Well, oh, no, it's one of my readers.

Readers. How many thousands do you have hanging off you everywhere now?

Uh, 42.

42 people who need to get a lie.

I've warned the restaurant it's a rafter birthday, so they're putting the

plastic down.

Ah, that's nice.

Are you even listening?

Hmm? There'll be an extra special surprise.

Right. I'll give you a clue.

Sex on legs.

What?

What are you up to?

If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise.

Oh, Ben.

Better let you go, blogger.

Catch you later.

What's Bugalug up to? Oh, I've no idea, but Martha 68 is so funny.

Don't you have interviews this morning?

Huh? Yeah, let's just take a minute.

Yeah.

It was lovely meeting you, Roger. Yeah, we'll be in touch, probably sometime

tomorrow. No worries. Thanks again.

He was a barrel of laughs. I'm not looking for a comedian, Jules. Oh, just

well. And he was early.

That shows he's keen. Hey, it's not his fault that you were typing to Mad Manuel

600 all morning. I was not. Roger's a nice bloke. All his qualifications are

there, good references.

Well, there's two more to go, so let's wait and see.

We're going to get Rachel's room ready.

We should be hopping on a plane about now.

I know.

So when the next applicant gets here, can you... I'll give you a hoi.

And stay off the computer, would you? Oh.

Hello? sweetie.

Here he is.

Great white traveller returned.

Looks like I'll be seeing a whole lot more of you. Oh, yeah, well, you had a

spare room. I suddenly needed one.

All good. I'm telling you, there goes our nice quiet life.

Are you ever going to unpack these boxes?

Yeah, yeah, all in good time. So, mate, you're back home early.

Yeah.

Isn't there anything about Europe you like there, flying out of it?

What about the French women?

Two French.

Italians? Pack of drama queens? Well, hey, what about the Germans?

Don't get me started.

Oh, you really are a sophisticated man of the world, aren't you? You better

believe it. And if anyone tries to tell you this ain't the best country in the

world, they are talking out their bum.

Well, how's Nathan?

Oh, you know, poncing around, practising his Romanian to speak to the ladies.

Well, don't tell me he's getting lucky. Nah, fluke him or like. Oh, that's why

you're back home early. You couldn't hack the competition. What?

Hey, bingo.

Don't say.

I never got you nothing. Oh.

So you couldn't have got us one from overseas?

No, they don't make them like they do here.

So I'm going to go have a shower.

Hey, look, I've got the rest of the day off. How about I give you a hand

unpacking? Love to.

Right. But I'm in the cab.

Got a pick -up booked.

See you tonight.

I was reading in the paper about this new virus called BAT. Oh.

Yeah, blog addiction disorder. Oh, it's just a bit of harmless fun.

No offence, but I don't understand why ordinary people think their lives are so

interesting that the rest of us want to read about them. Oh, well, I guess

there's something appealing about a shared experience. Here, look.

Dear vintage mum, my... That's a bit rude, isn't it?

No, no, no, that's what I call myself.

My two -year -old has the very same habit, very comforting to know we're not

alone. Keep up the good work. Frazzled.

Fair enough.

But try and get some fresh air now and again, eh? You sound like Dave.

You going out?

Yeah, taking Cooper to the flick, some sci -fi blockbuster.

Oh, have fun.

You too.

Yeah, hello, Julie Rafter.

Rachel! I just finished getting your room ready.

Oh.

OK. I'll let the restaurant know where one left.

Catch you later, Mum.

Rachel just bailed on the party.

Oh, no.

You're kidding.

Why? Work or something. Hey, can you do me a favour?

Yeah, sure thing. Can you get in touch with your cousin Nemo? I want to book

as our star attraction.

Is Elvis or Tom Jones? Tom Jones. Yeah, my favourite. Mum's too.

Okay, I'm in love.

Isn't your personator one of the best?

Isn't that weird, spending your life pretending to be someone else? I mean,

if they'd never been an Elvis or a Tom Jones?

No, he'd be left doing Johnny Farnham.

So I can leave that up to you. Tomorrow night, Shanghai Express.

No probs. I think that Mrs. Raft had a thing for old James here. Yeah, it's in

her blog.

Cousin Nemo better watch out then. He's really authentic.

Yeah, gotta go.

How's your assignment going?

Yeah, good.

Can you believe this is my last one?

Soon I'll be out in the real world looking for a job. And you'll get one

that. Well, to win it, you gotta be in it.

When life calls, we get a choice.

Answer it.

Or play safe and pretend not to hear.

What are you looking at, dickhead?

Yeah? You must be Alicia.

I'm Ted, Cooper's mate.

Oh, hi.

You're not as old as I thought.

Must be one of my good days, eh?

Is Cooper here?

Your dad at home?

He's at work.

You want to come in?

Oh, I'd better wait here, I think.

Enjoying the holidays?

Not really. Bored off my faith.

Where are you guys going?

To the movies.

What are you going to see?

Not sure yet.

Can I come?

Oh, I need your dad's permission for that. He wouldn't care.

Rules are rules.

Sorry.

Let's go.

Have a good day.

Have you thought about what you want to see?

Well, thanks for coming in, lads. We'll be in touch. No worries. Thanks.

Nice kid.

Way too inexperienced.

Roger's still looking pretty good. I've done right off the last one.

What's his name?

Um, thank you. Colasso.

Sounds like a gangster. If I don't hire him, he'll take a hit out on me.

Hi. Hi.

Dave Rafter?

Oh, Frankie? Hi, I'm Julie. We spoke on the phone. Oh, Julie, hi. Lovely to meet

you.

This is my husband, Dave.

Close your mouth.

Frankie.

Francesca, really, but only my mum calls me that and only when I'm really,

really in trouble and... I'm babbling, sorry.

I'm a bit nervous. Nice to meet you.

Yeah.

Would you like a tea or a coffee? Yeah, coffee would be great.

Milk, four sugars.

Okay. Four?

I don't know. At least I've cut down from six.

Not too good on the waistline.

Not that you've got any problems with that. Oh, you know what? It's a lovely

outside. Why don't we chat out there?

Yeah. Great. Yep.

So I got my ticket working for my dad. It was a family -run business. Mum did

the book. Oh, just like this one.

You worked with him a long time.

Ten years.

Up a change, eh?

Yeah, well, Dad died a couple of months ago.

Oh, sorry to hear that.

It must be really hard for you and the family.

Yeah, um, anyway.

What are you like at digging trenches?

Dad reckoned I could out -dig most blokes, although he might have been a

bit biased.

Yeah, but isn't that why we employ Matt?

Matt's our labourer.

Not on site for every job.

Yeah, but you know beforehand how physical it's going to be.

Hard work doesn't worry me.

Well, no, I'm sure these references are glowing.

Yeah, well, we had a lot of loyal and happy clients, and I know I can bring

of them with me.

Oh. Well, we've got plenty of work, so that's why we're putting someone on.

But it never hurts to increase your client base.

I'm sure there's a lot of people that would prefer a female electrician. No

no bum crack, what's not to like?

Yeah.

All right, Frankie, well, thanks for coming along.

We're still seeing other people, so we'll let you know when we've made a

decision. Okay, okay.

Nice to meet you both.

Right, yes.

And if you give me a chance, I won't let you down. Sure. Well, I'll see you out.

No, no, no, that's okay.

Another way.

Okay, cool. Thanks. Bye.

What other people?

It's just something you say at job interviews.

Well, I thought she was very impressive.

Compared to Lars, but she's not a patch on Roger.

Oh, because he's a bloke? No, because he's a more qualified electrician. On

grounds? Being older? No, he just seems a little bit more... What, male?

Sensible. Come on, give me some credit, Jules.

She is the best candidate for the job and you know it. She's young, she's

enthusiastic, she's friendly. She might cause a few problems in the team.

How? I don't know.

What if Matt takes a shine to her?

What, so Frankie gets passed over because Matt's a flirt? How's that fair?

all right for you to talk, but you're not the one who has to be out in the job

all day. I have to consider these things.

And despite what you might think, there is still a lot of heavy physical work.

Right.

There is.

Life can come calling in many different guises.

When it does, is it a call we're ready to take?

And in Italy, if you asked for pineapple on your pizza, they looked at you

weird. It's unbelievable.

Yeah, no, quite.

I mean, you didn't get to see the Sistine Chapel. No, and they don't drink

just all wine and this neat, neat rocket fuel stuff.

Uh,

hello? Hello there.

No deal, no deal. No deal, no deal.

This is Mrs Montague.

Call me Jean, love.

I picked her up.

No, my cab.

As a fare.

No, she's having a bit of trouble remembering where she lives.

So, you brought her here?

Well, I couldn't just leave her in the gutter somewhere.

Well, why didn't you take her to the cops? Well, I tried that. She's not

a bar of it. Well, you should get a licence or something with her address on

Trust me, we've been down that path. And no, she's not in the phone book.

Any clues there, Jeannie?

Any street names popping into your head?

Coronation Street.

You beauty.

I haven't seen that program in years.

Is she for real?

Oh, I need to wash my hands. Where's the little girl from? Down the hallway,

second on your right.

And definitely not any other room.

Seriously, she's on the brink of remembering. Won't be long. What is it

and picking up strays?

Don't tell me you've done this before.

What about that Ugandan guy?

Let's try Dingo.

And that was an honest mistake.

Bill Boots was holding him prisoner.

Oh, we end up great mates.

All right, come on, Jake.

If we're going to put up with the old coot, we're at least watching the game.

Come on, it's our couch.

Let's go, boys.

Where's Andrew?

The game show host.

Last week he danced the Zorba with a man from Bankstown.

If the lady wins, she's building a patio.

Kind of.

Yeah.

Good boy.

The mega guests will be any minute.

The fire?

Yeah, they're out of action for at least two weeks.

We always have my birthday at the Shanghai. Trust me, the new venue will

as good, wherever that is.

Darling, if it's all too hard... No, Mum, we're celebrating your birthday, no

matter what.

Like a cup of tea, Anna?

Oh, no, thanks.

Yeah, we've got to go. Anna's got nearly starved. So just watch your space and

don't worry.

All right.

Bye. Night. Ta. Night, kids.

You've got to admire his enthusiasm.

Yes, well, let's just hope his surprise has cancelled as well.

Surprise? Yeah, something he's organising. It's not embarrassing.

Sex on legs.

A bit like me.

If you say so, darling.

And I'm not embarrassing.

If you say so.

I am going to fold my tent.

I've had a big day. See you tomorrow.

Night, Dad.

Night, Ted.

Well, first Rachel cancelling and now this. Maybe we should just forget all

about my birthday this year. Just leave that. Come and stand here with me.

Come on.

Come on.

So quiet.

Nice.

Remember when Ben finally moved out?

Remember how we felt back then? Yeah, before the other two kept rushing back.

Yeah.

We were quite excited from memory.

And a bit scared.

I feel like that now. A bit scared.

Oh, George, you've just got the birthday blues.

Come on, George, these are exciting times. The business is booming. We've

our health. We've got each other.

You've got your blog.

Yeah, I know. I'm just being silly.

Look at you, you're obsessed.

No, it's just that I posted a new entry about the perils of potty training.

Just hope they like it.

Go on, go.

So why did he blow up the embassy?

Well, he was a spy.

Really? I thought he was a gardener. No, no, that was just his cover.

Very convincing. He knew his plants.

Well, you'd better get going, Mrs. Montague. It's getting late.

But I'm having a lovely time with you boys. Well, people will be worried about

you. Who?

Your family.

Oh, no, I don't have any family.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. There's my daughter.

Oh, well, great. What's her number? She's in the Navy.

What time is it?

Bedtime.

Okay, good.

What is she still doing here?

I'm sorry if I'm a burden. Oh, look, my dear. I think better in the morning.

I'll remember where I live. You'll see.

Good night, pet.

Straight down the hallway, yeah?

This is insane. We are going to get charged with abduction. She just needs a

good night's sleep. She'll remember.

What if she doesn't? Well, then we split the rent four ways. No, no, no. Very

funny. No, no, no, no.

First thing in the morning, we're taking her to the cops.

Okay, okay, fine.

And you are sleeping on the couch?

What do you reckon? I hope she doesn't wet the bed.

Did I wake you?

What are you doing?

Well, I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd... You tell your fans you couldn't

sleep.

That's amazing, the response to Ruby's potty training.

So many mums out there going through the same thing.

Yeah, I guess that's good to know.

And look, a 51st follower.

Love your blog, Vintage Mum. Keep up the great work. Isn't that nice?

Let me guess.

Hot Pants 74.

No, no, no. An actual proper name.

Adam Goodman.

You know what they say? A good man. It's hard to find, yeah.

Actually, not so hard.

I've found one. I'm not letting him go.

Happy birthday, by the way. She's gone midnight.

Any grey hairs up there yet?

None that I can see through the bleach.

Come to bed.

I will in a sec. I'll just finish this.

Jeannie. Good morning, love.

I hope you don't mind. I borrowed one of your T -shirts. Oh, yeah.

How'd you sleep?

Wonderful, thank you.

Although, I think your sheets need changing.

Oh. Not me, you.

Oh, yeah, fair enough. Here you go.

You are a legend.

So, did you remember where you live?

A house with a garden.

That narrows it down to about a million. With a white letterbox.

Half a million. It will come to me.

Morning, boys.

Bert?

Enough's enough.

Yeah, righty -o. No, I'm serious. We have to take her to a police station or

hospital or anywhere. But here, now.

Who'd like some pancakes?

What? They're in the oven, keeping warm.

Oh, Jeannie, you didn't. Who didn't?

All right, but she has to be gone.

Here, eat them while they're hot.

By the time we get home.

Nice work, Janie.

Birthday girl get breakfast in bed. Yeah, she did. She's a bit tired.

Spent a bit long in the blogosphere last night.

I hope you don't have to stage one of those interventions.

Hey, morning, love.

Happy birthday.

Oh, Dad, you didn't have to do anything.

Of course I did.

It's the best daughter anyone could hope for.

It's true.

I mean, Mum would be proud of you.

She's looking down on you right now, I know it.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, look, the gift certificate for a method of facial.

Oh, you deserve a bit of pampering.

Well, I'd better rattle my dag.

This girl holds means no rest for a great mate. Okay.

I'll catch you later.

Thanks. Bye.

You okay?

Oi.

Birthdays always remind me of Mum.

Too easy to make such a fuss.

Anyway, any more thought on the new female Sparky?

Yeah, I've decided to go with Roger.

What? Thanks for consulting me. And it's not because I'm a sexist pig.

Don't be so boring. I just think that he's the best choice. Well, I disagree.

Don't make me play the birthday card.

Oh, you wouldn't dare.

Why was I even at the interview? Just in case I couldn't make up my mind. I'd

better make a move too. Are you sure you're okay? Yes, I'm fine. Go and earn

living.

You don't look a day older.

First of your birthday calls.

Hello,

Julie Rafter.

Karen, hi, how are you?

No, what?

Oh, God.

Alison Sharp.

Beloved wife to Steve, loving mum to Jason, Dominic and Ruth.

Yeah, but she's just out with her family and just dropped dead. Heart attack.

I don't think I've ever met her.

No, I haven't seen her for years.

Still a shock, though, eh?

My best friend at primary school.

We sit next to each other every day.

And now it's her funeral on my birthday.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd like to.

Oh, you should.

I never thought you were going to grow up and then... I'm sorry.

You okay?

I'm just thinking about our kids.

Look, go to the funeral and I'll take Ruby to daycare.

Oh, she's a jolly good fellow. Oh, she's a jolly good fellow. Oh, she's a jolly

good fellow.

And so, so, happy birthday to her. A intrepid traveller returns, so was it. I

hated it.

How's Nathan?

Good. You just spoke to him yesterday.

Yeah, I know.

And that's from both of us. I chipped in.

Yeah, bath bombs.

Oh, thank you. Sorry.

Yeah, I told you.

It's hard hours.

It's good to hear going.

These things are important.

That's the risk you take when you answer a call.

You never know which direction it could send you.

This party's going to be bigger than bed hair.

Don't do that again.

It's dangerous.

I've done it.

Thanks for sorting the boat club.

No problem.

Is everything okay?

Make sure you've got the same number of each colour.

Mum. Well, if you don't, you know it'll drive me crazy.

Sure drive.

Sorry? Nothing.

Will, what can I take?

Maybe some balloons?

Mm -hmm. Is the cake all sorted?

Yes. I've ordered their largest.

They say it'll be 60.

You're really expecting 60.

I sneaked a look at Mum's old address book, invited everyone she ever knew.

I've already had 37 reply.

38? Oh, hey, Dad.

Yeah, mate.

Look, your mother just found out that an old school friend of hers has passed

away.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, she's all right, but tonight don't go too overboard. Just family and a few

close friends, eh?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, mate. Take it easy.

Morning, Alicia.

Cooper home?

No.

Do you know where he is?

Gone to the shop to get some smoke.

Do you want to come in?

Are you expecting him home any time this century?

Probably. Then I'd better wait out here.

Fine.

Morning, Cooper.

Hi.

Alicia's not a happy camper.

Did you two have a fight?

No.

You ready to go?

Laser tag?

Got my doubts about laser tag.

It's awesome.

You'll love it.

I also love the zoo, which is where we're going.

Sing so sweetly, little bird.

Carry a tune, little bird.

Maybe tiny, but little birds can fill a

room. We've got red robins and little blue wren.

Plain brown sparrows and martens.

Answering a call is one thing, but sometimes you're the one making it.

Needing someone to talk to.

Let me tell you about my beautiful friend, Alison.

And I'll be gone.

Or is it Hurlston Park?

Mrs M, look, as magnificent as it is having you around, you can't stay here

forever. Why?

Well, because we've got a party to go to. Where?

You're not invited.

It's at the boat club.

The boat club? I like it there.

Nice and close.

To where?

To my house. Only five minutes.

Hunter Street?

Acacia? Station Reynolds.

Reynolds, that's it. Number 11.

That's where you live?

Lived there for 40 years.

You are a champion.

Let's go.

Come on.

Yeah, your mum was right. Martha 68 really is very funny.

Hey, when did you get home?

A while ago.

Didn't want to wake you.

I lay down for a minute.

How was it?

Sad. But joyous, too.

Those poor kids. They all made speeches.

Why don't you go and draw Vintage Mum a picture?

Come on, draw a picture.

It's me.

Hope you don't mind.

No, no, it's there to be read.

I thought what you wrote about Alison was amazing.

Really?

the only one.

Thanks.

Well, it's time to get ready for the party.

Oh, yes. My birthday.

Imagine hanging out with real people. You think you can cope?

Run me a bath and I'll cope with anything.

Your wish is my command.

Hey, babe, have you seen my pants?

Sorry. That's all right.

Pants. Sorry.

Two people cannot get dressed in this room at the same time, not without

each other. We don't usually donk.

Carbo. This room might have been fine for a growing boy, but let's face it,

far too small for a happily married couple.

I see what you're doing. You're deliberately donkey.

I think we need a bigger place.

What are you talking about? This house is massive.

Not this room.

Why don't we move into your parents' room?

Oh, no way. No, no. Why not?

It's empty 360 days of the year. Reda, if you want us to have sex again...

We cannot move into my parents' bedroom.

Yeah, we'll take the furniture out and put it in storage.

You can't put the walls in storage, the floors and ceiling in storage. Okay,

can't I?

Read up. Read. But I just can't make my parents' bedroom our bedroom.

Okay. I just can't.

It's okay. It's okay. You don't have to.

We'll just get our own place. Yeah, about that. How do I look?

Hot.

And a final touch.

A glass of cold bubbles.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

I think the last time I sipped champers in the bath was after Ben moved in.

That seems like a lifetime ago.

It does.

Well, can't we just have a quiet night in?

Ben's gone to a big effort. We have to show.

Yeah, you're right.

I'll leave you to it.

No, no, don't go.

I won't be far.

Call that if you need a top -up.

Okay.

Thanks.

A hot bath, a glass of champagne, and a gorgeous husband.

It should be enough.

Of course it is.

Blooms are up. Signs are all finished.

It looks great.

Now all we need is a bit of taking off.

Emma, who are they?

Some anti -smoking group. They hide the big function in them. They bought a

coffin. It's a prop. Part of their display.

On the day mum went to a funeral.

I agree. It's bad timing. It's the worst timing in the universe.

Hey, mate, about the decoration.

God, mum's running late.

Oh, no, they just pulled up. They're right behind us.

Go, go, go.

Keep going.

Go.

Hey. Hi.

Mum, you're ready.

Yeah, I thought we were fashionably late. No, you're not late at all. You

couldn't be more on time if you tried.

Everything all right? Yeah, it's great.

Thank you, Dory.

Hi. Happy birthday.

Oh, good to see you. You look gorgeous. Oh, thank you. So do you. Come in.

Thank you. Come in.

Oh, darling,

it looks lovely.

Not in so much trouble.

Not really.

Anyway, you're worth it.

Oh. Hang on just a second.

What's wrong?

You know how I ordered a cake for 60?

60?

I don't understand.

I was very specific.

Well, maybe we can take the writing off.

It's worth a try. Here, I'll take those.

Give it your best shot.

Thank you.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Excuse me, I'd just like to say a few words before we have too many of these.

Oh, here you go. Yeah, yeah, you'll keep.

I just wanted to say to... There you are.

I've been looking for you everywhere.

Who are you looking for, Jane?

My daughter, of course.

Oh, no, no, no, don't bite.

Excuse me. I can't believe you're another year older.

I still remember when you were put into my arms for the first time.

You gripped my finger so tight.

This isn't your daughter.

I'm so proud of you.

You all right, love?

Yeah.

I'd just like to thank you all for coming here tonight, and especially Ben

organising all of this. Cheers, Dad.

Yeah, good on you, Ben, aren't you? But most importantly, I'd like to thank my

beautiful wife, Julie, just for being born.

Sex on legs, anyone?

Cousin Nemo, I told you to cancel it.

You? Just hand these out.

Sexy undies. Something for the ladies to throw on stage.

Darling, what's going on?

Tom Jones?

Love is like candy on a shelf.

You want to taste and help yourself.

The sweetest things are there for you.

Help yourself, take a few.

That's what I want you to do.

God help me.

I haven't laughed so much in a long time.

I can't believe that we have been at home for almost five minutes and the

computer's still turned off.

Post a report for Nathan and Rachel tomorrow.

Tonight at the house.

Haven't thanked you enough for all your help last night.

It was fun.

Although mum keeps finding pairs of knickers in weird places.

Carbo, you don't get it. I get it. I get it loud and clear. She wants to move

out. I want our own place. Yours and mine.

A shoebox on a highway next to a railway line. Not necessarily.

Under the fight park. All houses in Sydney are under the fight park.

Nowhere. That's all we can afford. At least it'll be ours.

You guys agree, don't you? You want your own place. Leave us out of it. Emma

agrees with me. I know she does.

Okay. How about this?

When you get a job, we start saving the deposit.

Do you mean it?

Absolutely.

Do you want to help me practice for my job interview?

Yes. Are you going to wear those little glasses?

Yes. And those boots? Yes.

So what experience have you had?

I like to think I'm really enthusiastic about it.

Oh, man.

It's okay.

Sorry, I don't even think about it. I know. And you have every right to wear

Of course you do.

But it makes you feel uncomfortable.

I understand.

Really.

Here.

It's just a ring.

It's fine. Honestly, I'll keep it in a drawer upstairs.

Are you sure you're okay?

Absolutely.

I'm going to make another coffee.

Do you want one?

Sure.

Well, the new Sparky's dropping off her paperwork today.

Did you say her paperwork?

I did.

Oh, and what made you change your mind?

Well, I still think Roger is the best man for the... Oh, sorry, person for the

job. But?

But, after much consideration... He's no longer available, is he?

No. Good old Roger.

This Frankie better work out. That's all I can say. Oh, what? I suppose it would

be my fault if she doesn't. You said it.

No, no, no. I take full responsibility. After all, I am... You are the boss. I

am the boss, yes.

Would you like me to take over?

No, no, no. I'm fine. Come on, darling. Have some food.

Oh, go on. It's killing me what you fight your addiction with.

Thank you.

Oh, it's Rachel.

She wants to know how the party went last night.

I doubt if a photo of our Tom Jones will do him justice.

Oh, there's one here from Adam Goodman.

Do you want a photo too? Oh.

Yeah.

Oh, I don't believe it.

A woman. A woman.

A woman. Okay, okay, get it out of your system before she gets here. I want you

all to be on your best behaviour, all right? Right, now I'll get to boss

by Sheila too. She's just another sparky.

Frankie.

Hi. Hi, come in.

This is Jake, our senior electrician. Hi.

Kirby, our apprentice.

Nice to meet you. Matt, our labourer. Welcome aboard.

Anything you need, do not hesitate to ask.

Thanks, Matt.

Are you all set?

Yes, Dad's going to drop Ruby off at daycare.

Oh, Frankie, hi. Welcome. Thank you.

As requested, that's my details and trade certificate.

Oh, thanks.

Julie's got a job interview too. Tell them.

No, no. No, it's probably nothing. A newspaper editor wants to talk to her

something. Oh.

It's just a local paper. Adam Goodman.

Oh, we don't want to thank Goodman.

Yes. Well, it's just a coffee. Probably just wants to write an article about

mums who blog or something. That's great.

She's a dedicated blogger. Oh, she'd eat more fibre.

Oh.

Good luck to you all. Thanks.

Bye.

This is exciting, eh? It's terrifying.

Go and knock her socks off. Oh, I love you. Love you too.

Where are you going today?

Haven't decided yet.

Take us too.

It's not fair. I don't get to go anywhere.

Alicia, I explained before.

If it was up to me, it'd be fine.

Cool. But it's not.

And there are very strict rules. I'd love to, but I can't.

I won't tell anyone.

Alicia.

Well, then how about you give me some money and I can go have my own fun?

I can't do that either.

Sorry.

Sorry. Give us the money or I'll say you touched me.

What?

I'll tell the cops. Everyone will think you're a dirty perv.

No one will believe you.

Want to bet?

What's going on?

Nothing. Let's go, mate.

Adam? Goodman? Julie Raft? Nice to actually meet you. Well, face to face,

A bit weird, actually.

What's, you know, so many things about me.

Starting to wish I hadn't been so honest.

I wouldn't worry about that. You're downright demure compared to some of the

bloggers out there.

Although I will say, your entry about your battle with...

Tin ear skated a little close to the line. Well, lucky I deleted the one

light bladder leakage.

Oh, I can't believe I just said that.

Which I don't have, by the way. Right, I'll take your word for that. Yeah.

So is that why I'm here? To talk about my blog?

No. No, it's actually not.

I have a proposition for you.

Oh.

A column?

500 words each week. When do you start?

Well, now.

So we can come up with an idea.

I mean, it's just a trial basis initially, but if the readers like it...

of course they will. You couldn't have asked for a better birthday present.

Oh, you're always so supportive.

It's all your undoing. You're going to be a huge success, I know it. Fingers

crossed.

Well, go on, answer it.

The day you're having could be a movie deal. Oh, yes.

Hello, Julie Rafter. That's the tricky thing when life comes calling.

Knowing when to answer. Yeah, no, no thanks, not interested.

And when to let it go to message bank.

Call centre in Mumbai.

Nothing wrong with Bollywood.