Original subtitles

As promised.

I want my money back. What money, sir? The money that Wayne gave me for Yelena.

Give him his money. You don't tell me what to do, Missy.

I'm really sorry about what happened to your caravan.

You give Van his money and you get your stuff back. Here you go, then.

I should be the one to leave. Not you. It's not fair.

Call it.

Here, it's not a note to have.

Shit.

It's our money.

I want to make toast to Cheryl.

Welcome home, Cheryl.

Peace and quiet.

And a rum and coke. Shit, you girls are good. You deserve it, hun.

Yeah, but you wouldn't want it to be too quiet, though.

Why's that?

Well, we were thinking, since you're back, you should come back to Hootie.

Oh, you guys are big shots now.

Oh, well, you should see my new designs. I call it the jailbird range.

That sounds good for something. Oh, it'll be fun, sure. You know, get the

back together.

Ah.

I'm going to sort some shit out first.

So, um, how's it been going with her?

Haven't seen her.

She's staying at Loretta's. At the brothel? Well, this is kind of

you know, hanging with the hoes. Hey, she's Pascal.

She does some shit.

Yeah. What about him?

Anything? Yeah, but when you do, you are going to give him the bash in person.

What the fuck is that?

Oi!

Oi! Get that monstrosity off my driveway!

It's not mine, Cheryl.

What are you up to?

Christening tent, new home.

Sex on the North Western at 120.

What a ride.

I don't fucking care.

You did ask, and I'll have to live somewhere.

Shift it, now.

You can't make me. Sure fucking can, you old bastard.

Bring it on, slutty.

You're two weeks off at our busiest time.

Yep.

I'm stressed, so I need a holiday.

Where are you going?

North. Hey, wait on, bro. I thought ahi para was going to be all about us, man.

Ahi para? Yeah, it was our dream.

Remember finish the valley, load the rods, hit the road? Yeah, it's not ahi

para, okay?

It's further north.

90 mile beach, bro. I want to go fishing up there too. I'm going to find you

later.

In Russia.

Wait, do you know how big Russia is?

Well, I know where she's from.

And there's an England role for God.

And I've got my phrase book.

Right, so I'll turn up and I'll ask you around. Well, I don't think I can give

you any leave right now. Well, it's too late because I've already booked the

ticket.

Just put the fucking thing round the back. It won't fit. And me and Nairie

got plans to go on the road. Yeah, well, don't let me. Don't you?

Poor man only just got home and the way he was treated. And that's my fault. You

invited the anchor in here.

Yeah, and then look what he did.

Chafting you and giving one to Pascal. You must feel so terrible.

I'm fine.

Except for that piece of shit in my driveway.

Oh, hey, Mrs West, choice mobile home.

They could have a room, please.

So Van is going to fucking Russia.

So he can track down Yelena in Nizhny Novgorod.

I've been on the line, Mrs West, and Nizhny Novgorod being Russia's fourth

largest city, well, Van could get badly lost.

Yeah, yeah, OK, so this Elena, he's got it bad, has he?

Deja vu, do you, Mrs West?

Oh, Christ, something's never changed, have they?

No.

Another carver.

Should come in handy.

But not for stealing.

Russia. Yep.

Yep.

I've got heaps of hoodies, though, so don't worry, I won't get cold.

You got a passport, mate?

Yeah. And a visa.

That girl said I needed it. Did she now?

Yep. And, oh.

Russian money.

Cool, eh? And guess what they call it?

Rubbles. Is this a good idea, Van?

You know, going over there without a contact address or phone number for this

Alina? Mum, I'm going.

Look, I have to.

I've got to give her some money so she doesn't marry this Roy guy.

What money?

Well, this is money I've got to give her. It's like 15 grand.

Where did you get that?

I didn't steal it. Well, where did you get it from then?

What? Where did you get it from?

Hmm.

Well, somewhere. You know, someone.

Wayne. Yeah.

Listen, if you've got no contact for this person, how do you think you're

to find her?

Well, I'll ask around, because... Yelena's not a very common name, Mum.

no, it could be, like, Debs or Tarns, and that place has, like, 1 .5 million

people or something.

Really? Check it out if you want to, but promise me you won't leave without at

least a contact address or a phone number. Come on, Ben.

Come on, I just got home.

Okay, I promise I will get a contact address.

Harold?

Not content with screwing my daughter, you're now sending my son to Russia on a

wild fucking goose chase.

Ben is going where he has to go. What gives you the right? What gives you the

fucking right? Believe it or not, he's not completely hopeless.

And he's old enough to make his own decisions. Since when? Since a while,

Cheryl. He's not your son.

I'm aware of that.

And I can't believe she's in on it as well.

She was.

Pascal got him a visa.

Right, well, I wouldn't know. I haven't seen her.

Right.

Look, Cheryl, smack me if you want. Do what you like.

I wouldn't touch you with a fucking badge, Paul.

Hi.

Are you here about the job?

No, I'm looking for my daughter.

Mum.

Hi.

Well, I've got to get the girls their lunch, so... What are you doing in this

dump?

It's not that bad.

You shouldn't be sleeping here.

Well, actually, the beds are really comfy and there's always a spare, so...

for dinner, love.

I'm making fish pie.

I don't know, Mum.

You're coming.

And that's that.

Oh, I thought you'd be drinking vodka, not tequila.

They had the passport, the visa.

Heaps of rubbles.

Mum was right, man.

I didn't know how to find it. Pretty big -ass cave with Nizhny Novgorod being so

big and all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I got that.

I got that.

So I went to get an address.

I thought you were in Russia.

I come back now.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Did you get married? No.

No,

no, no, no, listen, listen.

You don't have to.

I got the money.

Jesus Christ.

That's the little bastard I was telling you about.

You must go now.

Roy has gone and hired these two big fuck -off pelts as me.

So you don't have to go to Russia anymore?

No.

But I do need to come up with another plan.

Ben, you have a career, bro. You have a house. Yeah, look, Mum. I have to do

this.

I have to. But look, if it doesn't work, I'll forget about her.

Okay. Yeah.

So what are you thinking?

Not a lot, my friend.

To the pie!

Yeah, but it's your fish pie, bub.

And you are a beautiful and very sexy woman, Cheryl. What's that got to do

fish pie?

Oh, are you hitting on Cheryl, Eric?

Well, I'm in with a chance, aren't I? No.

Come on, you lot, sit down.

Tomato on top.

Interesting. Yeah, it's my fancy version, no.

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

What do you want?

Mum said I had to.

Yeah, I asked her to come.

Come on, sit down here.

Move along.

Do you want a drink? Eric, get her a drink.

Looks great, Mum.

Come on, what the fuck are you all waiting for?

Fish pie and peach.

I've been thinking about Hoot Sheet.

Oh, yay!

Yeah, it needs attention.

Well, it could do with a new range.

Cracksmith would be good. No, it wouldn't. I was thinking online

Right, if you want a hand.

Great.

And I was thinking that Pascal could come and work with her.

Really? Oh, well, you guys have got your other business, and she knows about

fashion. Hang on a minute.

Well, no, better than working in the brothel.

She had her modelling thing, her TV thing, and a bag, and she knows a hell

lot about selling.

She's already got a job.

Well, it's not exactly a career path, is it?

Yeah, no, Mum, this is a genius.

No, it's not. It's complete bullshit.

Well, if that's what you really want. I wouldn't have said so otherwise.

It is very good of you.

She's fine where she is.

Well, I think it's a great offer.

And way too kind.

Well, we can talk about it later then, all right?

Was that shit or was that complete shit?

You just want me to work for you.

Well, a bit, but are you actually going to put up with this?

It's like mum means to be nice, except it's like a punishment which will go on

probably forever.

Exactly, and you're just going to sit there and take it? I mean, I know what I

did was bad, but I do not want to sell hussy underwear.

Then get off your butt and do something about it.

He's leaving. He won the top.

You are really, really starting to annoy me now. If you do not go and follow

your heart, I will slap you.

Did you just say heart?

I also said I'd slap you.

Do you actually love Hayden?

What do you think?

Well, I don't know. It's quite hard to tell.

I just don't go around saying it because then he'd use it against me, okay?

You're weird.

You are way more fucked up.

And if you let Mum and Jethro push you around, then you deserve to sell tramp

underwear for the rest of your life. And I'll still have to slap you.

This is my driveway.

I want to park my car in it. There's a whole street out there. Why would I...

the street when I've got a fucking driveway?

Hi, hon. I'm going into Hoochie. Do you want a lift? Oh, no, thanks.

I'd be giving her the heat, though.

You've handed to her. And you are not parking that thing there.

It'd better be gone by the time I get back.

So, month, you go to the door, you distract them, right?

Is that on the Jehovah's Witnesses? No, you want to keep them talking, not shut

the door in your face.

Oh, shit, they're leaving.

Oh, shit.

Fuck, she's hot.

Shit, those dudes look mean.

Oh, what? What did you do now?

We can't just leave.

We're not. We're following them. We can't. Stop, Jake.

She said she wasn't getting married till Saturday.

It's a dress shop, not a registry office. Yeah, but if horoscoping out her

dress, then you know what that is, eh?

No,

no, no, bro. It's bad luck, man. It's bad luck to see your bride's dress

the big day.

Really? Can we just get on with this?

Excuse me.

Did you force anything back out the front? Yeah, there's one.

There's a couple heavy -looking tongs going through it. Shit!

Come on!

Shit,

they got your belt, Sender.

Did you see which way they went?

Oh, they went down this side street. They're on foot.

Come on!

I came to see you.

But, Roy. No, no, no. Don't worry about Roy. My friend, Manta, is stalling him.

Okay? This is my friend, Wayne.

Here, hold me. Come, come.

No,

no, no. Listen, listen, listen.

I've got the money.

I've got it. Okay, so you, you give this to Roy.

You and me, we get married.

But not in that dress. Ben, I like very much to be with you. But it is

not possible.

What?

No, no, no. Listen.

These are the dollars for you.

You said... It is a duty.

I must marry Roy for family. My brother... Those two guys, they're your

brothers. Dimitri and Yuri.

Roy give them jobs. You can't marry Roy. It's a fucking problem.

We have no mother.

And do you know, father?

I must care of them.

All right, now.

All right, up, up.

We've got to get going. What's the belt, Sandra?

I nearly changed.

Good girl.

So Roy gets to marry Yelena because he's given her brother's job. How's that

fair? That's bosses for you, Deep. They went out over the workers every time.

How can we compete with that?

By being a boss.

Point is, you can hire people if you want.

Hey, he's right.

He's right. A bit sweet with you.

Yeah, but they're Russian and unskilled. Weren't you when you started?

Well, I wasn't Russian for one, and I knew a bit about plumbing. Come on, man,

please. Can you guys piss off?

No, I live here.

Can you just go or I'll thump you?

Okay.

We've got things to do anyway.

See you, Mr. Wayne.

Later.

You cleaned out your office?

I sold up, I told you.

So that's it, you're just running out?

Not exactly running.

Well, were you going to come and talk to me about it first?

I thought you didn't want to see me.

No.

Like I couldn't.

It was too hard and it wasn't right.

Look, I've been with quite a few guys in my life, right?

Yep.

And some of them I even thought that I loved.

But I didn't.

Not really.

And now I know what it feels like to actually be in love and it really sucks.

The thought that you might go and I might never ever see you again.

I can't breathe and it makes me want to like hurl and cry all at the same time.

And I know that you won the toss and everything.

But if you go, I'm coming with you.

What?

Nothing.

Well, you think it's funny?

No. I don't want you to hurl.

I want you to keep breathing.

God, I love you.

So where were you going to go?

I was going to pick up the truck, load the rifles and head for the hills.

That sounds okay.

You want to go hunting?

No, I'm not really keen on the whole killing thing, but I just want to look.

You do know that just about everything I own is in this room?

I don't really have much either.

You sure you're okay with this?

Yes.

As long as we are together, I am the most okay.

And what are you doing?

I won't shift this. I'm trying to move it and I broke my nail file.

Oh, I have one of those.

Thanks, love.

Hey, Mum.

There's something that you should know, which is that I'll be leaving home.

Where are you going?

Away.

With Wayne.

I think that's the best thing for everyone.

Oh, yeah.

I'm not taking my soft toys, Jane. You can have them.

Where are you planning on going?

I don't know yet.

Mum, I'm just doing what I have to.

No, you're being a fucking idiot.

I'm not doing this to get at you and I'm not asking you to like it. Well, I

don't.

And you'll regret this.

Hey.

Hey, I'm talking to you. Yeah, I can still hear you, Mum. I won't let you do

this. Well, you can't stop me, okay? I'm 24 years old. Yeah, and how old is he?

That doesn't matter. There is no way in hell that this can work.

Mum! Wasting your life on some guy. Oh, but you never...

Fuck all of it.

The soft toy's a vagina.

You walk out that door, I never want to see you ever again, you hear me? Fine! I

mean it!

Fuck!

Sixty grade.

Rough.

Rough. We are the tool guys.

We tool from New Year's to Hellensville.

From January to the 10th.

Point chief.

Oh yeah, yeah.

I can't give your brothers jobs.

Okay, um, better jobs.

You two.

You two work for me.

You two work for me. Duh?

Duh?

Right.

Look, he's better shit than just fucking floor sanding.

One day it could be a clothesline, the next day a deck.

Being a tool guy is awesome.

It's a choice.

You can bugger off.

And stop harassing me and my fiancée. Vin, come on, bro.

Let's take this, okay?

It's all I got. I don't want your money.

Now you have 30 seconds to piss off.

Please! I'm not putting up with this, lover.

Right! Stop!

And you!

Stop!

You!

Inside now.

And you too.

Me? Not you, ginger me.

Oh.

He has stopped bothering you. No.

I talk.

It all stop now.

And Noga...

And he can go.

You are a kind man, Roy.

So good.

But Elvis R. Noble says the truth.

No.

What about L .O .T .R.? He won't know anything about Tolkien.

I will teach him.

You must take this and more dollars that Vin will give you.

Many more.

I don't want the money.

I marry Vin if you take the dollars or do not take the dollars.

So you must take the dollars.

And you will learn of talking.

Mom, you did the right thing. You didn't go far enough.

Oh, and by the way, we put the camper van on the lawn.

And I say we take her stuff and put it out in the street.

No, no.

We burn it.

Yes, but we go through it first, sell the good stuff.

Oh, for God's sake.

That girl is dead for me.

We should have taken the pauper out when we had the chance. If the dallies

hadn't come, we could have finished him off. It's not too late.

Jesus. I don't want to talk about this.

Fair enough.

We never mention her name again.

The name Pascal, you mean?

You will watch it, girly. She's my sister.

I can say her name if I want.

Pascal, Pascal, Pascal.

I'm your fucking child.

No, no, no. What is childish is this. What, being loyal to mum? You are just

sucking up because you think it makes you look good.

Bullshit.

Pascal fell in love.

Oh, fuck off. And yes, of course that is upsetting to mum, but it's not a

fucking crime.

No, it's a fucking betrayal.

And do you think that by banishing her and by taking a hit out on Wayne, that's

going to make things better?

Mum, it won't make you happier.

And actually, for the last six months, Wayne has held the family together.

Pascal is still my sister.

And I will continue to speak to her and about her. So if you want to chuck me

out too, then fine. Go for it. Loretta, shut up.

This is it.

It is. Julie, can't then...

Yeah, I don't know really where that came from.

My brother, they say they would like the T -shirt and also Vans

with writing.

Huh?

Oh, my God. This is Mum.

Mum! Hi.

This is Yelena.

Hi. It is joyous to meet you.

Oh, great. We're getting married, Mum.

Yep.

Don't freak out or anything. It's sweet. Okay, I know what I'm doing. No, no,

it's fine. We'll discuss it later, all right?

Want to have a crack at me, girlfriend?

I fucking should.

Yeah.

Do you know how angry I am?

I fucking ripped apart.

I feel stupid.

I feel humiliated.

I'm sorry.

I wish it was different. Do you? Yeah, I do.

I loved you, you loved me, and that's how it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I kept going over it and over it, trying to work out where it went wrong.

Me too.

Well, I had a bit of time on my hands, you know, six months or so.

It was him, wasn't it? It was Tama.

Losing him, it was like we were on opposite sides of this great big fucking

canyon.

I didn't know how and how we were going to get over that.

Maybe we're just too different.

Yeah. You're always so fucking reasonable.

You ain't never been afraid of a scrap.

You certainly know how to start one.

Look, I get it. If you hate me, I do.

But I do think you're fucking amazing.

You know, I think it's a little bit late for you to start buttering me up.

If I hadn't met you... You wouldn't have met my daughter.

You changed my life, Cheryl West.

In so many ways.

We were good when we were good.

We'll always be his parents.

Fuck it.

No point in wishing.

You just got to live with what is.

You do that in space, Mrs.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, save it, Case.

You'll be dehydrated before the ceremony.

Girls.

Come on, guys.

Two words.

Hoochie and bride.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

I feel beautiful.

Look, what with everything that's been going on around here, we haven't had

of a chance to get to know each other.

But I pretty much speak my mind.

Yes.

Van is special to me.

I want you to know if you do anything to hurt him.

You mess him around in any way, I will be down on you like a ton of bricks.

Do you get me?

I speak from my heart.

So no bullshit.

I laugh then more than anything.

I kill anyone who heard him.

Big, big day.

The biggest.

I love you, man.

And when me and Yelena, we get back from Roto Vegas, you and me, we'll go to

Aipara, hey?

We'll go fishing.

Bro, would it be like our own little honeymoon?

No, not really.

Woo! Dead man!

walking. No.

No. No.

Get. Come on, Gooch. You'll miss it beyond keeping the Russians off the

before the wedding, Judy.

Je l 'aime. Je l 'aime.

It's a serious day, which means the time for getting pissed is later, boys. He's

right. Nothing can go wrong.

Like forgetting the ring?

Yes, sort of, my pocket.

Like getting the groom to the altar on time? Transportation sorted.

Shit, did you get up a tourmobile?

We're not taking a tourmobile.

Well, how the fuck are we going to get to the wedding then?

This way.

Always been a lot of midnight oil for you, my bro. God, you finished it. Yeah,

no way would we have finished it except for you, really.

Dude knows a lot about cars, man.

I'm sensing a tall guy's automotive franchise.

Come on, come on, come on!

with the flower girl dress. I don't have time for counselling. I'll sort it, all

right? Okay. Bridesmaid. I am not a bridesmaid!

Lloyd, have you got the vows? Well, they're not exactly what you'd call them

the book.

It's because Van and Yelena wrote them. I'm pretty sure they were stoned at the

time. Well, at least they're longer than yours.

It's quality to count, Lloyd.

Oh, greetings and all that crap.

Yeah.

Jesus Christ, another backyard wedding.

You ready for this?

No.

Me neither.

And because someone likes driving it so much, we are very late. Yeah, bro.

Hey, little sis.

I love you.

Aw, you too.

Go get married. Okay. Come on.

We are gathered here today in the sight of God and Bob Marley and Keith Moon

and Elvis Presley to

join this awesome stud and this hot babe

in marriage.

Is that choice or what?

Deny!

I will marry you when we...

Because you are a mighty man.

You are best man.

Hero man.

I love you with my body and soul.

I root you senseless.

And stay with you forever.

Elena Borodovna.

Because you are a choicest woman.

I want to be with you forever.

Fucking ever.

That means you are now man and wife.

You are now Pash the Bride.

Expecting us to work? So we shut up shop.

How am I supposed to run a business with those useless rappers?

Oh my god.

Stop saying oh my god.

You are her.

What?

Loretta has turned into mum.

Fuck up.

No, you're settled down. You have a husband and a kid and you have a dodgy

business. You are so her.

If people still like me, the old Loretta wouldn't have cared if people liked her

or not.

Fuck you!

I hear she's leaving.

She didn't throw him.

You're not moving in, Eric.

Worth a shot.

Are they still giving us the evils?

Fuck them.

Hey. I need to talk to you.

Okay.

It's a down payment.

Dan, it's 20 bucks.

Yeah, I know.

But it, you know, it means more.

Well, you need it more than me, sir.

No. You?

Cut with my sister now, right?

Yeah.

She can shoot through the cash, man.

Hey, man,

you've been awesome.

You've been worth it.

Shouldn't you be happy?

Wayne's gone, so you can have mummy all to yourself.

You know you need to get over it.

Over what?

Mother fixation you have.

Jesus, I don't have a mother fixation. Yeah, you do.

We need to cure that.

What are we doing?

I was rather hoping you'd fuck me.

Now?

On your mother's bed, Lily.

Throw it outside and not all over the carpet.

You deserved that.

No, Ted. I expected it.

I take it as a peace offering.

Take that, you old bastard.

Going to root me next, are you? No, not likely.

We're going now.

so you take care of him, okay?

Grandpa puts on wine, so we might go now.

Okay. Would be a good idea.

I hope everything works out okay for you.

You too.

I love you, Mum.

See you, Hobag.

You, my girl.

You need to be asleep.

The West Party gene is strong in here. Yeah, along with the West disobey your

grandma gene.

I know that it maybe doesn't feel like it, but it turned

out okay.

What did?

stupid thing that you did when you told us we all had to behave.

Yeah, you hated it.

Yeah, of course I did. I'm a weft.

But it was good.

And you made it happen. It was all you.

How's the sleep thing going?

Not so good.

Well, fuck it. Let's dance.

Come on then, you party animal.

You look what you've done to me.

You look me, you bit me.

Let me. You get me. I'm wrapped.

Be mine. Be mine tonight.

Oh, come on. Come on. Another smoke.

Another can.

Another time.

Don't you see, boy, get to see me.