Original subtitles

I did it. I'm going to plead guilty and have this over with.

You will remain for sentencing in seven weeks.

You were defending your daughter like any good mother would. That's what I

about you. That it is a tragedy that you have given up on your kids. That you

can't be arsed fighting for them or me.

So this vacating my plea is too late?

No. Let's do it then.

I need a job and I need to earn something.

Pay's lousy now as a crap.

Yeah, I knew you'd come to your feet.

Man, whoever said it was easy running a homecoming in Korea is so lying.

Ow! And by Korea, you do mean the pity job that Wayne gave you, right?

Weren't you supposed to set the table? If I thought you were going to cook

something edible, I might.

How's Mum?

Well, she's, uh, happy.

Define happy.

You're not supposed to be happy while you're in prison.

That'll be because some butch -type prison guard has made her a bitch.

What? Oh, Grandpa's been watching Vintage Horning.

With Nairi way to daughters, I have to fill the time somehow.

Not when I'm doing the laundry, you don't.

What? You're watching porn downstairs in my office.

I wiped up afterwards.

Prison vixens on heat. You should watch it. All you need to know about bloody

life. Cheryl's not in anyone's bed.

Why, she'd be happy if she's not getting a rope munch. Well, she has her

reasons.

What did Bailey say about the change of plea application?

Why are you more interested in Mary Watney than me?

I know where this is heading.

No, you don't.

You know Scary Mary?

Scary Mary?

Yeah, that's what we call her in here.

She did knock me out once when I arrested her brother. Good right hook.

Yeah, she's some psycho.

Got it in for Deb. Deb.

Nice girl.

Not too bright.

Dodgy taste in a boyfriend.

Cheryl, I know you're bored.

No, I'm not.

Oh, dear.

Oh, yeah.

What?

Do not start meddling with other people's lives. I do not meddle.

Oh, shit.

She found a whole new family. One who can't get away from her.

God help them.

I still think the rug munching's on the cards.

Hey, get a load of this.

Oh boy, that's definitely a load.

Well, not that I could do that.

My big fat belly meant I can't bend over anymore.

Oh, don't worry, honey. Monty will be able to take you like that again soon.

Morning, ladies.

Shit, it's over.

So, why is there a big black cock on the computer?

It's kind of like a screensaver.

I don't pay to watch porn.

We call it research.

I don't care what you call it. You're here to work.

We've done everything that needs to be done.

Current orders are shipped and up to date.

Paperwork's sorted and filed.

So design something.

I've got designs for Africa. Unless you've changed your mind about the new

range. We're not making hoochie mama for kids. Oh, but cute little bubba

outfits. No, there's no money in it.

Well, there's nothing left for corn.

And booze, but only after lunch. Want something to do?

Follow up these unpaid accounts.

Driftly speaking, that's your job. No, I'm making it your job.

You're my fucking manager. Just do it. Okay, okay.

Calm down. I'll be there soon.

It's only an hour ten, but they didn't muck about in those days.

From the lady judge with the grudge to the gangbang climax, they set a new

benchmark in the girl -on -girl genre.

What are you doing?

Sporing up.

Grandpa, this is my office.

It was my screening room before it was your office, and you're off now.

Yeah, I'll be back.

We can wait if you want.

No, I don't want...

Oh, you're in for a real treat here, Sonny Jim.

Since when did he get to be Sonny Jim?

Since he showed an interest in the golden age of cinema.

But he's Hayden Poofter Peters.

I'm taking him in hand.

Not literally.

So you're seriously going to sit down here and watch Prison Vixens on heat

my grandpa?

Yeah. It was the general plan.

Okay. I know you're of a similar generation, but does that not strike you

both sad and wrong?

It has got Foxy Morgan in it.

Who? Really, you're trying to educate me?

She's like a living legend.

She's the Meryl Streep of porn.

Oh, does she do accents?

She can do things with her twat you wouldn't believe.

That's the thing with a widescreen.

You really get the full impact.

Oh, OK.

I'm gone.

Make sure you pack up when you're finished.

Lovely job, Lee.

Yeah,

might give that a missed tip.

Don't be a nancy all your life.

I've got a hotel of their own here.

Get slapped.

Yeah, love.

That was mine.

No, no, it was hers. You took it, so I gave it back.

It's not crunchy, only smooth.

Oh, my heart bleeds for you. You're the one who's going to end up bleeding soon,

bitch. I've seen off worse trolls than you, Mary, so why don't you be a good

girl, leave Debs the fuck alone, sit down, eat your breakfast.

You think you run this place just because you killed a cop?

Up yourself, cow.

At least I'm not a fat, stupid slag who gets her kicks picking on people who

can't fight back.

Fuck you.

Fuck you, you bully.

Pick on someone you're on your side next time, you fucking bully.

I heard you pegged as brighter than this, Cheryl.

You know what I've got to say about bullies?

It's a prison that's full of bullies. Are you going to take on each and every

one? Not if I can help it. Well, that's a relief, because I really do prefer

things nice and quiet. Yeah, that's working for you.

You had something to say?

Well, look, there's peace and quiet, and then there's a whole bunch of women out

there dying of boredom.

Well, it's a remand prison.

What do you expect, day trips to the zoo?

Well, I just think there are some things you could be doing around here.

You're telling me how to run my prison?

No, no, I've just noticed some stuff, that's all. Uh -huh.

A bit more variety on the breakfast spreads wouldn't hurt for starters. I

they're always running out of peanut butter, but that's not the most

thing compared to the boredom. I mean, that's where your real trouble starts.

Thank you for that insight. I'm not getting at you. I just, you know, the

could do with a bit of entertainment.

Maybe we could put on a musical.

Look, I'm just saying, if you want me, say, to organise something just for an

evening, I might have just the thing.

Companies to host... This would be the company you had before you killed the

police officer.

Innocent until proven guilty.

Last time I looked, you were guilty awaiting sentencing. I'm changing my

Oh, that's very noble of you.

Now, you might think you're a wee bit special, Cheryl West, the cop killer.

But as far as I'm concerned, you're no different to any of the others.

So pull your head in.

Yeah, okay, I'll have a word. But you may have noticed that once she gets an

idea in her head, it's kind of hard to shift.

What's Slutty done now?

Something about hitting another prisoner with a breakfast tray.

That'll be when she was fighting back as the head bulldog was trying to climb

her. Grandpa, this is my mother you're talking about.

Your mother once, someone's girlfriend now.

Prison Vixens on Heat is not a documentary.

You'll see. Okay, thanks, Bailey.

You do what you can and I'll do what I can. Yep, sir.

He was in the shower, wasn't he?

What? Cheryl and the bulldog?

Why would there be a breakfast tray in the shower, Grandpa?

Your mother is bloody lucky she's locked away in prison. Otherwise, I would

strangle her.

Can't she keep out other people's shit?

Wayne, you know the answer to that.

I mean, how hard can it be? Keep quiet, keep your head down, get out of that

hole. Before some lesbian guard sticks the trunk shut up. Grandpa!

Hey, Cheryl.

Hey. Hey, thanks for before, eh?

Oh, no worries.

I wish I could be more like you.

Just don't let it get to you, okay?

It's lucky I won't be in here long. Eh?

Aren't you in here for possession of meth, for supply?

Yeah, but Brock says they go much easier on women, so I'll probably just get

home D.

It's a Class A drug.

Yeah, but I haven't got any convictions.

Yeah, but you were supplying a Class A drug.

No, I wasn't.

What are you in here for, then?

I was holding them for Brock.

Right.

Because they go so much easier on women.

Exactly. You've got yourself a real winner there, Deb.

I reckon.

He dumped you in it because he was too thick and shit to take the fall himself.

No, he's not.

And no, he didn't.

I offered to take the drugs to my place when Brock said the cops were after him.

What the fuck did you do a fool thing like that for?

If he says everything's going to be sweet, then I believe him. Well, maybe

time you...

You don't know anything. Yeah, right. Well, you'll have at least five years to

work that one out, Deb.

Fuck you, Cheryl.

Stay out of my business.

Yeah, well, I'm really sorry you had to cancel your trip to Fiji, Kevin.

But when do you think you can pay us?

Yeah, yeah, you said that before, so I'm taking it as not at any time soon then.

Yeah, nice talking to you too.

Kevin reckons the love connection's about to go under. Oh, and I saw him

week with his tramp of a girlfriend and she just got new implants in Thailand.

But she was already a double D. Yeah, but she's a double G now.

Bitch! And there he was, almost crying down the phone.

You fucking wanker.

Bullshit, Alice.

Oh, let's really give him something to cry about.

Cheryl, I need you to read this.

What, all of it?

Yep, all of it.

Why?

So that if the judge happens to ask you a question, you can respond how we want.

Why would the judge want to ask me a question?

About your previous lawyer?

Yes, he was great.

No, no, he wasn't. He was.

Cheryl, you need to concentrate on what I'm saying.

Hey, this isn't a done deal. You don't just walk in and go, Whoops, Your

we forgot to say not before we said guilty.

Look, you didn't know what you were doing.

Oh, yes, I did.

No. Look, Des put you wrong.

And this is a serious miscarriage of justice.

Look, he's being a sport about this. You have to play along.

I'm reading this.

Yes. Okay, I'm one condition.

Sorry? There's a girl in here. Debs. Short for Deborah, I guess. Last name

Blaymore, but you can work that out.

Can you check the case against her? This stupid girl is taking the rap. No.

What do you mean, no?

This is the rest of your life we're talking about here, Cheryl.

I'm not wasting time on some kid you feel sorry for.

Just read the bloody thing.

Now, you have these people you need to ring, and did you talk to Mr Cooper?

Yes, I saw Mr Cooper. And did you tell Mr Cooper that it was his father -in

that was taking all the petty cash?

Yes, I told him.

So I knew it. And I've been thinking.

What?

Well, the next time you need somebody to watch somebody... You've got your

seminars. Well, I've only got one this week. And all you have to do is watch

people to see if they're dodgy. And I have got loads of experience watching

dodgy people from living with Loretta and Grandpa my whole life. No, you're

licensed. I thought the whole point of having me was to lessen your load.

Well, you are, by filing and answering the phone. Being the eye candy.

Don't worry, there's way more to me than eye candy.

Well, you've also got a sexy phone, man.

So, can I go now?

If you say you'll think about it. I thought about it, and no.

Man, he so does not get my potential.

Fuck off!

That's so. Didn't you get the message last time? It's off, Blackpuss. Get away

from her. I'm just trying to get through to this girl, that's all. Yeah,

whatever. Now, fuck off.

You fuck off. She needs to realise her old man's shacked up with someone else.

It's bullshit. He is not. Yeah, it's all right, love. It's true. Yeah, and you

love making this poor kid cry, don't you? He's with my slut of a cousin,

and she told me herself.

Yeah, well, Shayla's a lying bitch. And they're both laughing at you right now,

being stupid enough to take the rap for him. Okay, enough.

He wouldn't do that.

He loves me. Yeah.

He does.

Yeah, he does love you. He does.

It's all right. God, I miss alcohol.

Once it might kill you all, it's wrong. You need it.

There better be a bloody good reason for you dragging me down here instead of

being at work. We are at work.

Don't dig me around. We just wanted to tell you that we are O for awesome. And

for excellent.

Guess who got the love connection to pay their bill? In full. In cash.

How'd you do that? By being O for awesome and X for absolute.

Hi, Kevin.

Hi, Kevin.

Hi, Kevin.

Of course, we've got the same old bullshit story.

But there's a world of difference between that and lying to two beautiful,

determined women in the flesh.

We know you've got the money.

And I've got kids and dogs and bills to pay.

So hand it over before things get ugly.

Rochelle.

We don't generally threaten our clients.

Well, it just depends on what you threaten them with.

You see, Pacey here is pregnant.

Very. Pregnant.

And she needs the money you owe us to buy things for her humble baby.

Are you okay, sweet?

It's probably just one of those Brixton Hacks contractions.

Maybe she'll have the baby here, Kevin.

On your shop floor.

All that mess.

that lady go into labour while she waited for the money that you... Oh, my

Kim! It's all right. It's just my friend here in labour.

He went for that shit.

Well, Casey was very convincing.

He offered us a check, but we said we preferred cash.

Well, good work.

Not so useless now, are we? And we've still got two more places to hit this

afternoon. Oh, well.

Go for it, girls.

Make me proud.

Pascal's actually working out all right. Not that I'd tell her, though.

So I gave her the bash instead to knock some sense into her.

Right.

Why do I bother?

Sorry, it's just them.

You see that loser over there, Brock?

What does he mean? I need you to check up on him, the boyfriend.

Oh, God. No, no, no, I need to know.

No, you don't. His name's Brock Henley, I think, but he's shagging Mary's

cousin, Shayla, or so Mary says.

Well, good luck to him. No, that stupid girl, she loves him so much, she's

taking the rap for him.

I mean, if he's screwing around on her, then she deserves to know.

Because it'll make her life so much better in here? No, because she believes

loves her.

Spinning her all this crap.

Stupid girl needs to come to her senses.

You know what?

I don't give a shit about procs or dips. I care about you. How many times have I

told you to pull your head in and mind your own fucking business?

Who knew it was bloody possible she's even more frustrating inside than she

out here?

Prison does strange things to the female mind.

Don't you start.

She just cares about people, that's all.

The licky lick begins.

It's probably because she's worried about herself that she's worried about

and Brock singing.

Henley.

So this, um, Shayla Chick, she's a what in there, right?

Oh, no, Pascal, no, you don't. What?

What is it with you West women sticking your nose where they're not bloody

wanted, and don't you even think about going there?

Well, I could just make a few discreet inquiries.

What, you?

Yeah, work experience, and it'll keep Mum happy.

No. The less she knows, the less she has to get bloody racked up about it. Stay

out of it. Okay, okay.

Your mother will be racked up enough as it is with all the testing she's

getting. Oh!

Right, that's it. No bloody dinner for you.

Who would have figured?

We are so, so hot.

Do you think it's safe having all that cash in the rusty nail?

Well, maybe not while Loretta's here.

Ha -ha. Anyone takes this money from us, then we will take it right back,

because that's what we do.

Booyah! Because you're so scary.

Because I have baby belly and she has amazing tits.

No, you do, haven't you?

Yeah. Two weapons that have always put the fear of God into me. No, seriously.

We've found our calling.

Oh, I didn't know there was a church for flappers. Just ignore her. She's weird

and we are the coolest. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Where'd you get the cash?

Well, we've been going around all these places that owe Hootie money, and

everyone's coughed up. There's something about being asked to pony up by a

pregnant woman with her attractive friend at her side as I can be.

people just can't refuse her. Hang on.

Are you two Jethro standover bitches?

Did you just call us bitches?

I think Loretta was saying she's impressed.

Is he paying you for this?

Duh. Loretta, we already work for Hootie.

Yeah,

but shouldn't you be getting a cut of all the money you recoup, especially

you're taking all the risk?

I mean...

If Mr Big Fat Tidehouse hired an actual debt collection agency to do his dirty

work, they'd be on a commission.

Just something to think about.

You've really got no qualms about throwing up shit for your brother, do

he's a wanker, isn't he?

Shit.

I'm impressed.

Don't sound so surprised.

You want us to carry on, get the rest?

Of course.

In that case, we need to talk.

About our cut.

Your cut of what?

The money. We deserve a cut of everything we collect.

Okay, but the money that you're collecting is owed to the company that

wages. So effectively, you already get a cut.

When? When I pay your wages. No, this is over and above what we normally do for

Hoochie Mama. So what, I should just pay you guys to sit around on your fat

arses watching porn?

Are you saying our arses are fat? No. Well, it sounded like it to me.

You did hurt my arse! It's because I'm pregnant, all right. You know, there's

extra pint of blood, and then there's all the fluids.

Look, it was a figure of speech. It was a speech about our figures. Look, I'm

sorry.

Okay? I really appreciate what you guys are doing. It's just not enough to cut

us or our fat asses in. Because I already pay your wages.

So that's a no, then.

Yes.

Well, excuse us if we take our fat asses somewhere else. Back to work would be

good. Fat or not, you're still watching them as they walk out the door, aren't

you? No, actually.

I thought you had a meeting with that guy from the Sea Scouts. Old job.

Done. Dusted. Why is your desk covered in this shit?

I was just going to tidy that up.

Why is it here at all?

Well, strictly speaking, it's evidence.

Of what?

In the Henley -Rosney case.

I told you not to get involved. I wasn't going to, but then I thought it would

be really good practice, and then I was so glad I did, because they are so

busted.

I mean, finding Brock's address was the hardest part, but amazingly, it was

listed in the phone book, so...

Do you want to see pictures?

No, Pascal, you can't be doing this shit.

But taking pictures as evidence is what we do.

No, it's what I do.

Excuse me, but I have done a great job, and I think I've got more than enough

evidence to prove that Brock is a low -life maggot who dumped Deb for a Class

gag. Who is living there, by the way?

Exhibit A, an empty cami box, economy size.

And if that is not all, exhibit B, addressed to Shayla Watanay at

his address. She is getting her benefits. You stole their mail?

Well, if they're not going to bother taking it in, then they deserve to lose

It's illegal, Pascal.

And if Debs is one of those pathetic girls who don't realise they're in love

with a loser crim, I show her Exhibit C.

The other slut's undies straight off the line and that's your smoking gun right

there. Okay, fine. It ends here and none of this shit gets anywhere near Cheryl.

You've already talked to Cheryl, haven't you?

Well... Here it is. My full written report.

Oh, for God's sake, Pascal.

She was really grateful and appreciative of my work.

I'm really good at this detective stuff.

Well, I do have certain natural talents, and I'm pretty good at observing stuff.

Do you want to see this photo?

Thanks a bunch. It's really going to help. Look, I know that you think you

Mum, but...

So do I, and maybe all this interfering in other people's lives is to distract

her from her own life, to make her feel better.

Yeah, maybe.

And I did an awesome job, eh?

Eh!

It's so weird watching these complete strangers going hard at it.

I know that the guy is like a cheating manhunt, but he actually had quite a

bod, and then it made me think of you.

Yes? How?

Well, you know, in a...

It's so hard that you're in here and I'm out there and how lonely I get.

You want to sleep with other guys, is that what you're saying?

No, I would never, ever cheat on you. Because I know that you would never,

ever cheat on me.

Well, not in here.

Or ever.

No, never.

We're so much better than those losers, because you know what we've got? It's

just beautiful and...

Special and spiritual, don't you think? Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

For sure.

Do you have any tissues? I think I'm out.

Not on me.

Okay. This could be a little bit awkward.

You two want my advice.

Don't get all la -di -da about it. They're like making smart aleck

Oh, what is that then? Well, your brother's a rude prick.

Tell me something I don't know.

We asked him for a cup, like you said, and he said no.

Oh, color me shocked.

And you said we had fat asses. And you so better not agree.

Well, since when have I agreed with Jethro about anything? But why are you

annoying me? I want to go back to him with a concrete proposal.

Does it involve encasing him in actual concrete? Because if so, you have my

support. We want to know how much to ask for.

And, like, a percentage of what we collect.

Okay.

I can actually go one better than that.

How about I hire you to collect the money that I'm owed and I'll give you

cents in every dollar.

Fifteen. Ten.

But it's a few grand so your cut won't be small and it'll show Jethro that you

mean business.

Okay, so who's the mark?

The mark?

Who you want the money from?

Name?

Is Jethro West.

Yeah, but he's our boss.

Who said you had fat arses and who still owes me a shitload of money from

winding up excellence.

What do you reckon?

I suppose as long as we don't do it during O .G. Mama time.

Yeah, get lunch done. I know

it's

shit, but it's important you know the truth.

It helps to know what it's like.

I was in love with a guy like Bart once.

Did a whole pile of shit for him, covered for him.

Turned out he had this whole other family I didn't know anything about.

Just don't throw your life away on someone who's not worth it.

So what are you saying I should do?

I don't know.

Tell the truth about whose drugs they were.

To the cops.

You just don't deserve to be in here.

But I love him. I know you do, sweetie.

Don't call me sweetie like I'm some sort of retard.

You're not. I'm not. That's just bullshit.

Brock loves me. And he wants to marry me when I get out. Oh, Jesus, love. Fuck

you, you interfering bitch.

Help, you stupid girl.

Oh, yes.

Is there something about you I should know, Cheryl, which explains why other

inmates keep attacking you? Trying to help someone, that's all.

Trying to save the world, one life at a time. One life, one girl.

Big fucking mistake.

Well, I'm sorry if you find this place so boring you need to find ways to keep

yourself amused. No, no, no, that's not it.

Do not! Do not speak while I am speaking.

You will listen to me and you will not do anything that pisses me off or heaven

help me up.

You are not here to save people.

You are not here to crusade about breakfast spreads or boredom. You are

because you killed a police officer and that is all you are to me, someone who

doesn't deserve the time of day.

Do not come to my attention ever again, do you understand?

Do you understand?

Didn't.

Good.

Now, we're heading in the right direction.

But, um, Mum was helping Debs. Why would she attack her? Bloody has that effect

on people.

Or maybe some people just don't want to be bloody help.

Or it could be foreplay.

Bloody West won't be the death of me.

My mummy.

What are you guys doing here?

Eating lunch. It's lunchtime. We need to keep eating so our asses stay nice and

fat.

Oh, we're also here on business. Private business in our own time.

For those willing to pay us what we're worth.

This is a joke, right?

No. You're collecting money for Loretta.

And she's paying us the commission we're worth.

Well, whatever percentage of nothing you're getting still adds up to nothing.

Are you sure about that?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure, thanks, Kate.

Okay, well then you won't mind if we wait until you change your mind.

Wait as long as you want. It's still not going to happen.

Fair enough.

Don't say you weren't warned.

About what? She's a good little girl. Yes, you are. Your mummy's a little

Yes, you are, my lucky. Are you going to get your rug to attack me?

No, you wouldn't do that, would you, sweetheart? No.

But you know what they say, Jethro? That a dog's bark is worse than her bite.

Well, there are some things worse than a dog's bite, Jethro. Yeah, I appreciate

that.

Sweetheart.

Oh, Jesus Christ, what's that?

That is lucky.

Oh, shit.

What's wrong with it? Has it got a disease or something? No, I think it's a

complication with her bowel surgery. She leaks. Don't you, my little sweetheart?

It seems to get worse when she's happy for some reason. You're like now.

I do, but it doesn't kind of bother me anymore because, you know, well, I'm

to it. I've been pregnant. You get all these mucus secretions. But with some

people, it just makes them want to puke. Aren't you a naughty, smelly dog? Get

out. No, you said we could stay.

Excuse me.

Oh, you wouldn't push past a pregnant woman, would you? Oh, you could give us

Loretta's money. That might work.

Oh, my sweetheart, aren't you just good? I love you. Mummy loves you so much.

A cheque?

He didn't have the cash on him.

Well, it's a cheque made out to cash. What's your problem?

It's a death row cheque. He's probably cancelled it by now. Oh, no, he knows

what'll happen if he tries that shit on us.

It'll clear. You'll see.

Well, death row never pays up. What are you going to do to him?

Trade secret.

But it's the same thing we'll do to you if you try to stiff us on the

commission. Trust us, you don't want to find out the hard way. Well, you'll get

your commission when the check clears.

It'll clear.

Shit.

If you guys can prize money out of Jethro, there is a big future for you in

debt collection game. We know.

Now say thank you when the check clears.

Oh, I hate this place. I hate it with a passion.

I know. It's a reminder how when nothing happens... Oh, I just want to scream!

so something happens.

You scream all you want. You stay out of other people's lives.

I get it.

I do.

You promise me?

Yeah, I promise.

I miss you, Mrs. West.

I miss you too.

Let's get you out of here.

I hope so.

I hope so.

away from me. I'm really sorry about getting you in the shit yesterday.

I kind of lost today.

Apology accepted.

You were right about Brock.

Great, now piss off.

Oh, shit.

Hey, Cheryl.

Mary. I'm going to tell my lawyer the truth about the drugs.

I know where he cooks, so that could help.

Mary reckons I'll walk, eh?

Did I, um, did I miss something here?

I guess.

Stay away from me!

Well,

we'll be back.

to Mary's cell and she was real supportive.

She even offered to have Shayla's legs broken for me.

And then I started to cry and Mary was real sweet.

What happened to the whole bully routine then?

Well, Mary's not really good at meeting new people.

Yeah, I'm shy, eh?

Not anymore.

Ah, fuck me.

Not an instruction, by the way.

I can't wait to be there when Brocky and you change teams.

Next time you visit, we get to show them.

Should be quite a show.

Yeah.

Yeah, it could be.

Did you actually read it?

Didn't understand half of it.

It'll make sense to the judge.

So, you stand there. Do not speak unless spoken to.

I can do that.

But I need a favour.

No, no, and you can't case clients. Oh, not that kind of favour. A more bending

-the -rules kind of favour. You can do that, can't you?

Don't say anything.

You understand me? And empty your pockets of all your dope, because the

thing we need is some drug dog going crazy because you two walked in.

They have drug dogs at court.

Doesn't matter. Just do it. OK?

I can't really see Cheryl as one who would seek her pleasure down in Tuna

Oh, I can.

You said porn couldn't be thought -provoking, eh?

To prison vixens on hate. Prison vixens on hate.

God's sake, can you give the mum as a lesbian thing a rest? She's about as

of a lesbian as I am.

There's something else to think about.

Well, you don't get much mother and daughter porn these days.

Ladies, I thought you would have brought us our money by now.

Oh, maybe I haven't cashed the check.

I think we all know you went straight to the bank with it. Maybe Jethro

cancelled it. Come on, Loretta, don't get this too nasty. Just kidding.

Morning, ladies.

Sure did. It was the same deal you were talking about. But Jethro is a wanker

and he said you had fat asses. I would never say that. Yeah, but he apologised.

But he didn't mean it. Yeah, but it was what he said afterwards that was really

important.

See, the way I see it, with me in the background and you two out front with

talent, we could be like the Charlie's Angels of deck collecting.

I could be Farrah. God rest your soul. Why can't I be Farrah? Because you're

blonde. Yeah, but there were no polyangels. Lucy Lou.

She's an Asian.

What about Jacqueline Smith?

She's brunette.

He bought you off with Charlie's dumbass angel.

You've got a better offer? Yeah, and don't say some obscure French uncle.

Charlie's angel's rules. Yeah, the original. No, the movie was okay.

Okay,

Ted, two rules.

Don't lose Jane and no watching porn with her. Okay, okay.

No, everyone's as ready as they'll ever be, even better.

Okay, let's do this.

And I'm sorry if I made things worse.

You know, your mother's daughter comes with the territory.

Vodka times a muff, darling.

Oh, she's hot.

But not as hot as mother much are.

Have you nailed her yet, Bert?

No, he's been real busy. But when this is all over, I'm going to... Tyrone!

God, you'd think she'd at least wear something nice for the judge.

Baby.

Oh, Roy.

Truly the look of the Lebanese.

All rise for his honour.

You may proceed, Ernest Wilson.

Your Honour, in the matter of the Crown and Cheryl Marie West, we seek to vacate

my client's plea of guilty on the grounds there's been a serious

justice. You've received my submission.

Yes, Miss Wilson, and I have one or two questions.

Certainly, Your Honour.

On page four, you raise Atkins and police.

How is this relevant to the matter?

My client appeared for a bail hearing, and at this time no plea was called for.

and the appeal court decided the defendant's ignorance was a key factor.

counsel was remiss in not warning his client, this is the latest precedent,

if you refer to that on his ruling, you'll see... Yes, yes, I have it here.

So what does this mean? Is this a yes or a no?

I don't know.

All right.

Considering this, and your own presentations on the matter, I'm

grant your application.

Yes!

The defendant's plea will be set aside, and you will be notified of a date for

hearing the matter.

Thank you, Your Honour.

All right.

Was that it?

We went? Yes, we did.

We did.

Does this mean they're going to let her out?

Not quite. See you soon, Susan.

Bye.

See you soon. See you soon.

We'll only be a few minutes.

Bring the stuff?

We did it.

Did you bring what I asked you to?

Nothing any good lawyer wouldn't do for her clients.

Good girl.

Come on, you can give me a hand.

I'm not so good at this. I'm not so good at this. I'm not so good at this. I'm

not so good at this.

I'm not so good at this.

Did you say mum?

Yes, I did.

Oh, she must be so much happier now. You could say that.

Everyone's invited themselves over for a roast to celebrate your victory.

I was going to do pork, but I've decided to slaughter and roast head and feet.

Jesus, Cheryl, I thought you'd given this up.

No, no, it's all good.

Actually, Ted, you'll like this next bit. It's right up your alley.

What's that?

I've got a surprise for you.

What are

you doing?

Come on, do it.

Wait, there's more.

You're welcome from Betch.

Never happens when I'm visiting. You never visit.

I'm bloody starting now.

Somehow I think that was just a one -time deal.

I knew you bloody wouldn't let me down.

I'm just off to the loo.

Oh, hi.

Well, I like the songs these aggles just want to have fun.

I have some good news and some bad news, Cheryl.

I thought about your point on breakfast spreads, and from now on we'll be

providing a wider variety.

Honey, jam, peanut butter, crunchy and smooth.

I take it that's the good news.

Oh, yes.

President Vixen's on heat!

And the heat vixen is the shithot lawyer.

That's yeah.

Now all you've got to do is get her off.

Oh, it'll happen.

All in good time.

Hey, Mr. Judge, take us again through the events of your most educational

Now, was there any gash on display?

Gash, gash, gash.

Press residence.

Hi, Wayne.

Hey, Cheryl.

Mum! Tell her we were just talking about her.

Guess where I am?

Safely in your cell while I'm stuck here with these useless bastards.

Oh, in Christchurch.

Why the hell are you in Christchurch?

They flew me down this afternoon.

Why the hell would they do that?

Has Mum escaped?

I don't know, they just did.

They can't send you to Christchurch just because she organised an orgy.

Actually, they can.

They can send her anywhere they like.

You told me to keep my head down. And I didn't.

So now I'm in fucking crisis.