Original subtitles

Write me the great erotica porn script and you can direct it. And I really get

to direct it.

I'm a virgin.

I'm a virgin too.

There's always a surgical option.

Hymen repair surgery, they just whack some fake blood up there, sew it back

together and wham bam.

Everyone's a winner on that.

I've decided I will be in your movie.

And in this way I get to take my operation and leave my old life behind

bang. Well, a series of bangs.

Does anyone want any more LMP?

So, Van, come to the table, love. I don't want to come to the table. I want

fucking drink. Yeah, well, we're not drinking tomorrow.

Oh, shit, Van, you're wrong. Come on. Okay, all right, all right. You can have

your beers.

Can you just get whatever this is over with so Van can get pissed and start

crying again?

We should do this, honey.

Okay.

Hey, everyone.

Hello.

Now, as you all know...

Bruce and I have spent the most amazing couple of months helping the poor and

sick people in Pakistan and meeting his family, who are all choice,

even the hardline ones, like Uncle Shaheem, who thinks every white person

Satan -worshipping American.

He didn't even know where New Zealand was.

He does now, thanks to me.

Anyway, while we were there, the most romantic thing happened.

It was a moment that I've been dreaming of ever since I met Bruce.

And I would have told you all sooner, except for the whole Aurora thing. And

didn't think it was right for us to make our little announcement while you were

thinking of death.

But we figure now that enough time has passed and you all need a bit of good

news. And this news is so good, we couldn't keep it secret any longer.

So, I will let Bruce, my future husband, take it from here.

I, uh, rather ask Pascal to marry me and, uh...

She said yes.

I hope it was better for you than it did for me, hey?

Yeah, well, obviously.

So you got a congratulator?

Welcome to the family, Imran.

Well done, love.

This little announcement of yours better not mess with my film.

Look, Bruce and I made a vow for each other to lose our virginity on our

night. Which is totally romantic, but it means I'm going to need that money for

the surgery more than ever. It's like a clock is ticking. Good. Tick tock.

My whole life is a lie, Lorena!

Whatever.

Congratulations, by the way.

Sorry, I need to get a lock on the door.

Mum,

you might need these. These are the recipes for the vase band. The what? The

vase band.

Bruce's family is from the Kashmir, so to announce our engagement Kashmir

we need to make the vase band and send it round to Bruce's workplace.

In the Kashmir?

No, in Pukekohe.

So, which one is the VAS van?

All of them.

You what?

It's tradition, Mum, for the family of the bride to make a feast and send it

over because we're engaged.

We can engage the coolest words.

Can't we just ring them on the phone?

No, they know already, but this is like tradition.

And I would help, but I'm going to be really busy over the next few days

in at that home at Glenfield.

Remember? I am too.

What are you doing?

Well, she's not in Glenfield.

I'm renovating the video house.

What do you mean? You've never renovated anything in your life.

That's fine. Hayden's helping me.

I wish someone would help me.

Where's Bruce?

Last I thought, he was with Hayden Jethro.

Oh, shit.

What the fuck is hack?

Hold it down, Imran. Hold it down.

You guys are bad, bad people.

Not you, honey. It's easily led.

It's okay. I like being led.

I think our work here is done.

No.

I love your family.

You're somebody, Esther.

Almost as much as I love you.

And I love you too.

And I'm going to call you a dialer driver, okay?

I'm already thinking about our wedding day.

Me too.

And I'm going to miss you, hey?

You know that you won't be able to see me for a few days, right?

I have difficulty thinking about anything else.

The Glen Eden home is going to be really short -staffed, and I'm going to be

rushed off my feet.

I can stay a while if you like.

You remember when you proposed to me, right?

With the Himalayas looking down on us, and do you remember what we said?

I remember you said yes.

I like yes. After that bit.

We said that we have to be strong for each other, like the Himalayas.

I need you to be strong for me right now.

Okay.

You feel like it this time. You took me all bloody night to make all your

changes. You had pharmaceutical help, not complaining.

What about the rest of the dressing?

It'll come.

What about the bed?

Yep, it'll do.

We could try it out if you want.

It's flat. You can screw on it. It'll be fine. And we could rehearse that

blindfold scene.

We have to get to location.

It won't take a minute.

With every woman dreams of hearing.

Come on, stop moaning. At least you'll get to watch.

So do you have any idea what esophagite is?

I need it for the muck.

I've got to go.

Yeah, yeah, and I'm going to be here all day cooking mutton, thanks to you.

And I'm not at the Janet Frame?

No, no, you're in Glenfield.

So, if you wanted to come and see me, it'd be too bad about that.

Fine. I'll just stay here and cook.

You know, because I just love cooking so much.

Hey, Munter.

Do you want me to go?

He's in his room.

You okay, Munter?

Not exactly, Mrs West.

It's hard to be here for your boy when you're only half here.

Where's the other half of you?

I don't know if you noticed at the week.

Casey and I, we kind of hooked up.

Yeah, I noticed.

Didn't it go well?

No, it's been awesome.

She's the freakiest lady I've ever been with.

Apart from checking on Van.

Me and her, we've been at it. I really don't need details, Munster. But, you

know, if it's all good, why have you gone all sad sack on it?

Well, this morning, I'm around at her place, right?

We're in the shower, washing each other.

I'm down on my knees.

No, Manta, I don't need the details. Get up.

But it's all about details, Mrs West. You know, like the detail that was the

look in her eye.

At first, I thought it was because of the soap that was in my eye, but no.

It was the cutting me loose look in her eye.

Later, when we're tailing off, she says she'll call me.

Well, that's what people say, usually.

No, no, but when she said it, it sounded like...

Buck off, Munter. She'll call.

You think?

For sure.

You're a catch.

Nah. Really?

For sure.

She'll call.

Better get you on the boy. You do that.

It's Pascal. She's playing Serenity.

Hi. Hi.

Pascal, this is Ben. He's playing the guide. Ah, Luke.

What? I named him Luke after the painter in St. Nevada, so you know, to help me

get a handle on the character. Thank God.

I was reading the script, and every time I read, like, the guide leads Serenity

into another room, I kept having this picture on my head of a girl guide, and

was just so... Okay, we've got a lot to do and no time to do it in, so any

questions? No? Yes.

Why?

Why what?

Well, why everything?

Serenity, she's this famous artist, but she's got penis block. So she comes

looking for this old reclusive painter guy.

And he says that she needs to fuck a lot so that she can overcome all her

inhibitions. But what I don't get is why does the old reclusive painter guy run

a motel if he's reclusive?

Yeah, wouldn't motelling be the worst job in the world for a guy who hates

people? The motel represents the rooms of Serenity's mind that she needs to

unlock to release her creativity.

Plus, he has Luke to run the motel. Okay, if it spins your wheels, are we

now? When I was travelling with Bruce, we saw this Bollywood film. No, you

cannot have a Bollywood dance sequence.

Are we done here?

I don't want to have actual sex in the film.

What?

Pretend sex is okay because it's just acting, but we won't be having actual

sex, will we?

I mean, you won't be pointing a camera at my, you know...

Well, um, you know.

Of course not.

It's erotica. We're faking it.

Oh, thank God.

Uh, could you excuse me? I need a word with the jury.

Loretta!

Loretta!

She is not your sister today.

She is just an actor in a film about actors fucking other actors. We've

about this. Yes, but at no time did you ever mention there'd be no dick.

There'll be dick. You'll see dick.

Just not going in and out of Pascal.

It's a porn film.

Dick going in and out is what it's all about. It is erotica for women for the

last time.

And this just shows how little you know about women.

I'm sorry? Women want beautiful bodies and danger and seduction and the scent

sex. Not going in and out.

It's not your fault.

Your family owned brothels. You grew up around hookers. So you wouldn't know any

better. But I'm in charge now. And it's your money you're wasting standing here

chatting.

Let's go through this again.

Okay. What is Serenity doing in this shot?

Arriving at the motel. To do what?

To find her true inner self. And how long will that take?

As long as it takes.

Which could be quite some time. So what has she brought with her?

Her luggage.

Sorry, I put it down to open the gate.

Should we try again?

Was I okay?

You were fine, Ben. Because I could totally, like, come in a second later.

were fine.

And action.

Is it something about left hand or my right hand?

Cut.

Action.

Sorry. Cut.

Action. You have arrived.

You better not have fucked that up.

When will I meet him? When you're ready.

When will that be?

He will know.

You will know.

How? In here.

Here you guys are.

Cut. Cut.

I'd like to see it come around this way. What are you doing here? I asked her.

You told her about the film.

Are you crazy? Mum will know by now.

Keep your panties on. I never told anyone.

You can't keep your mouth shut about anything.

Loretta, just chill.

We're ready over here.

Fine, we'll go again. Turn over. I was thinking, if instead of walking along

with Serenity, what if I was to jump out of the bushes and surprise her?

Why would you do that? Because it would be more surprising. Stick to the script,

Ben.

Mark it.

Action.

When will I meet him? When you are ready.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Cut.

Sorry.

Yes? Where are you?

I'm talking client liaison.

Which client?

Be taught now, Cheryl.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

Do you want to explain to me why this woman's on my film set?

Since Serenity's working as a maid in a motel, she should really have a maid's

uniform, right?

So I got Casey to make one.

Casey, who works for my mother. I repeat, she doesn't know.

Casey, who is like the Karen Walker of slutty clothing.

Where's the back?

There isn't one.

So she walks around all day with her arse hanging out. Guys like arses.

Erotica, Hayden, for women.

I'm a woman. I love chick farses.

Okay, you go and run that costume past our star. See what she says.

I'll do that.

I'm not having her anywhere near my film.

Your film?

You heard?

No fucking way, ever.

Come on.

It's sexy.

No, it's tough. Get it away from me.

I think it's just going to look really good on my showreel.

You actually want people to see this film?

Wasn't that the point?

No. The point is to make money so that I can have my dream wedding night.

Are you getting paid?

Yeah. Aren't you?

No. I was just doing it for the experience.

And your showreel? Yeah.

So you're getting married?

Yes. To the best guy in the whole world.

Oh yeah? I'm engaged too.

No way.

So am I.

How did your fiancée feel about you doing this film?

It's cool.

Imran. Hiya, Ted.

I was just thinking about you.

Were you?

No. But I am now.

She's not here.

I know.

Did you come to see me?

No. Not that I'm not happy to see you.

Thought I'd surprise her when she finishes the work.

Jump it.

No.

No, we don't do that sort of thing.

Seriously, we decided to wait until our wedding day.

Kids do that these days?

No.

Just us.

Jeez.

That'll take some willpower.

Yes, it does.

It wasn't so bad.

That day at the Kelly Faisal refugee camp.

The border with Afghanistan.

I was walking past the women's quarters.

Faithful gusts of wind.

Boy, that's my granddaughter you're fantasizing about.

Sorry, Ted.

Just ever since I've been... Having impure thoughts.

More and more impure by the day.

Right, downstairs, we're going to do something about this.

This isn't your magazine collection again, is it? Nah, get your piss, take

mind off it.

Action. In each of these rooms, Serenity Jones, there's temptation.

Sin for you to taste, to feel.

Did Tix actually dig this bollocks?

You have the power to say no at any time. This is hard.

No shit, I'm getting wet just standing here.

Are you ready, Serenity Jones?

Are you ready to let go?

Yeah, sorry.

I'll call you back.

So how was client liaison?

Pretty good, actually.

What's the big emergency?

Family liaison.

How come your family liaison's more important than my client liaison? Hey,

you got another bloke? Is that why you give him months of a flick?

Who says that I'm giving him the flick? He does.

You know, Kirsten, he's actually a really good guy in his own way. I know.

That's the problem.

The Bahama Triangle.

Oh, right, that.

It exists, Cheryl.

Every good guy I've ever led into my life steals my car to pay for their

Or have affairs with their prison guards.

It's got nothing to do with you. It is.

I take good men and I turn them into bad men. That is such a crock. You haven't

seen it happen over and over.

But never again.

You know what?

Munt is not actually that good, come to think of it. Yes, he is! No, he's not.

He's the best one yet.

And I'm not having him on my conscience.

For God's sake.

Inside that room, a man waits.

You have never met him before.

You will never see him again.

He is under the impression you are a prostitute.

When he is finished, he will give you money.

You will thank him and leave.

How does that make you feel, Serenity?

Pretty freaking gross, actually.

Cut! Cut!

Pascal, that's not the line. That's how I feel.

The line is, I don't know, strange, I guess.

Say the fucking line and try to get it right for a change.

I have been saying your stupid pervy lines all day.

They don't even make any sense. They're just...

sick and you're wrong and I shouldn't even be here. I shouldn't be doing this.

You're taking me to sicker world and it's wrong.

Okay.

I think we're done here.

Can you get the scene without Serenity's last line?

I guess so. Good.

We'll pick this up tomorrow.

You okay?

No, not that you care.

Pascal, I know how freaky this must be for you, right?

Well, especially now that Loretta's in her director's place, which, if I can be

honest, actually scares even me.

But can I tell you something?

Watching you today, wow, that was gold.

Really?

I don't know much about this film stuff, I just pay the bills, but you, Wow, you

have the thing that just lights up a screen.

Okay, now you're bullshitting me. No bullshit.

What you are doing is way out of your comfort zone. Gosh, I know that.

But you are doing just great.

Wow, it's just great.

Oh, come here.

Like I said, you are just gold.

Thank you.

Hey, Bruce.

Great. All right. I'll see you later.

What are you doing here?

Are you drunk?

With love.

Grandpa, can you stop getting my boyfriend pissed?

Is that what I am?

Your boyfriend?

Yes.

I thought I was your fiancé.

Oh, yeah. You're that too.

You still shouldn't be here.

What if I want to be here?

With you?

Not tonight.

I'll phone Darla Travis.

Okay, mark it.

And action.

I want to reshoot the scene with the mute gardener. The way Pascal's been out

the birdbath doesn't work. How many ways do you want to hear the word no?

We've got this great, big, as yet unused, bed in here. Action.

How many ways do you want to hear the word no?

Just once is enough.

Cut.

Going again.

Better be worth it, the thing you started.

What? This vase van.

Bath van.

Yeah, whatever.

Translating it means royal pain in the ass.

Bruce and I just want to do things properly.

Well, why do I always seem to be the one doing them?

Hazy.

Muncher, hey, you want a drink?

Normally I would, but seeing how depressed I am, it may not be a good

You've got a duller pain somehow.

I tried calling her a couple of times.

No reply.

So I texted her a few times.

Munter. Texting someone 18 times, is that like stalking or the message?

Frickin' hint loser.

Maybe you should give Casey some space for a while.

How much space?

You know, space is so big, being the final frontier and all.

Casey has been hurt by most, not all, of the men in her life, right? So I just

think you should let it be.

Maybe let me talk to her.

Yeah. Hey, can I get that drink now?

Of course, Ben.

Wake up.

Wake up! I love Pascal.

You're not my director right now. You can't tell me what to do.

I can't fit you.

I'm not doing your stupid film. I can't live with the lies.

Pascal, no film, no money, no new hymen, no fairytale wedding to your fairytale

virgin, and no magical popping of cherries on the wedding night.

Does that all add up?

I hate myself, but I hate you more.

You could win $1 ,000.

The Rock.

Cereal.

You eat it.

Don't pour beer on it.

What do you want for breakfast?

I have to get to the store, so I'll get something there.

How are the renovations going?

They're getting there, slowly.

Shouldn't you be gone too? To Glen Dean to make all those old people happy?

Hey, Scal!

Don't be late for work.

What the hell was that?

Nothing.

What are you doing here?

I talked to Cheryl last night.

Yeah, she's not here.

No, I don't want to see her. I talked to her last night.

She didn't exactly go into any details because she's a good friend and good

friends don't talk about other friends' personal private business.

Now, what exactly did she say?

That I should give you some space.

Well, that worked.

Look, I'm not good at listening, you know. I'm not good at a whole heap of

things, but what I am good at is reading between the lines and...

What I got from between Shiro's lines was that you've been hurt by guys in the

past, and that's why you're pushing me away.

Before you push me too far, I just want to say one thing.

I'm a good man, Casey, and I would never do anything that would hurt you.

In fact, I want to help make your hurt go away, because... The thing that

go away, Manta, is you, because I am over men for life.

It doesn't look anything like a motel room.

It represents a motel room. Yeah, sicko world.

Hayden, where are the rest of the props?

They'll be here.

Okay, fine, we'll block through the first thing.

Ben, you leave Serenity over here to Jeff.

You introduce her, then go back where you came. Pascal, you kneel on the...

the fuck are you doing here? I'm here because he asked me.

I need to just take an opinion, see if this works.

Because as a man, apparently I wouldn't know erotica if it fell out of my eye.

Sweet Lord in heaven!

What is he doing here?

Filani is providing the props for the film. Yeah, but what sort of film? I'm

beginning to ask myself, what sort of film? Are there any other associates of

family and my mother that you want to bring into this? Hey, I am passing money

all over this thing. Any deal I can get, I'm going to take.

Are you making a porno film?

No! No, it's erotica, apparently.

Oh, that's okay then.

What are you doing, Filani?

I'm looking after my telephone.

Loretta, I'm not doing this with Filani watching.

Bugger off, Filani. Go and get your thrills elsewhere.

I take no thrill from this.

Too bad. Hook off.

Same if I hooked off and met up with your mum.

You wouldn't dare.

Then I'd say, hey, Cheryl, I'm worried about the moral fibre of your family.

Filani, this phone isn't right. Have you got any more in your prop?

Yeah, of course.

Well, go and get me another one. Eh?

You're my prop guy.

That prop's wrong. Go and get me more props.

Now. All right, all right. Just don't shout. Don't shout.

I'm the director. That's what they do.

Fuck. Okay, we've got like 20 minutes until he gets back. So do you want to do

the scene now or then?

Yo, Zara.

Let's do this.

So how's our boy?

Freaking Vin Diesel shitting through the DVDs at me.

I think it's really great what you're doing, you know? Bringing two families

together. Yeah.

Well, I'll be even more thrilled when I can find some... Sue Mc... Mc... Mc...

Whatever that is. You know, um, Mr. Cumbly?

Owns a suit break down on Stanley Palm Ave?

Where? Yep, this place smells like a whole lot of weird shit.

It's like a tinny house for curry heads. Yeah, you're right.

Anyway, I'll be getting these DVDs back to the video hut and get something with

the rock in it. Oh, it's closed for renovations.

Yeah, it doesn't matter. Especially since old Vin didn't leave the premises

the usual channels.

Well, how about I take you down there and we go to Mr. Cumbly's on the way,

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Okay, so we start tight on your wrist, then slowly track across your body. And

over this, Ben, you're doing your dialogue.

Yeah, about that.

What? Well, you know, people are going to laugh.

Because I put a lot of effort into making them look really believable.

Why would they laugh?

Well, I'm actually going to make her orgasm without even touching her. Just

whispering in her ear.

Yeah, is that even possible?

The tying up thing's good.

But she comes because he talks dirty to her. I mean, come on.

Loretta, slight problem with the scene. What?

Well, sometimes, Loretta, women need less talk and more action.

Sorry, sorry.

Oh, sweet Jesus.

Loretta! No.

No what?

To the phone. It's not right.

What's wrong with this one? I can't shoot the scene till I have the right

Velani, just, um, just go and get another phone, mate, please. Be less

The problem with the scene, in fact, the whole movie, is the whole ratio of

talking to humping.

Sometimes you just want to be taken by the hand, shoved up against a wall and

shown what's what.

No, I like that.

Oh, well, you would.

So, what does your fiancé do?

Oh, she works in a bank.

Oh, that's good. You know, that one of you has a sensible career.

Well, what does your fiancé do?

He's a doctor.

Well, no, he's more than that. He's like a super doctor.

He travels the world healing people.

It's what we were doing together when he proposed.

The mighty Himalayan mountains looking down on us.

Pascal West, you are the most remarkable creature I've ever met.

Both got down on one knee and looked way up into my eye.

Will you marry me?

I got down on two knees so I could look him in the eye.

God, yes.

But it was all an illusion.

For a moment in time, the power and beauty of that place transported us to

another world.

And then we came back to this world, where there is no magic.

She's hiding something, Ted.

In this world or the other one?

I tried to call her this morning.

Her cell phone was turned off.

I rang every rest home in Glen Eden.

No one had heard of Pascal West.

You should ask that fella. One used to be a boyfriend.

What? A Hayden fella.

Loretta's boyfriend?

He is now.

Dirty rat.

He was Pascal's boyfriend.

Then he moved on.

Well, maybe he moved back.

I'd love a word with him right now.

If only I knew where he was.

He's at the video art. They're renovating.

Really?

Okay.

Pastor, what's your problem? You've patched heaps of girls before I've seen

Only at parties when I've patched them stoned.

Or for a deer.

Okay, fine, I dare you to pass Georgia. Nice try.

Ha ha, fuck off.

Pascal, Serenity's lesbian encounter is crucial to my film.

What's the problem?

She's gone all shy on it.

It's weird doing it with another girl.

Meanwhile, I've got a lesbian that's being paid for the hour.

I can fix this.

If you could.

Okay. The thing with Girl on Girl, in my experience, is that...

I'll show you.

The thing is, you need to close your eyes and feel, not think.

Smoothie, it's gonna... Now, this is hot.

Loretta! Holy shit, that's Mum. Everyone, shut up.

Have they gone to lunch?

No, we're... Let's flip these puppies back and release the rock.

How?

You know, around the back.

OK, OK, I think she's gone to...

Get up for the first shot.

You okay?

It's just acting, right? Of course it is.

After you've done the prep work, you go on for the kill.

The what?

Oh, yeah.

And take it slow.

Don't rush it.

No one likes a rush job.

You know way too much about this. I've dated a lot of losers who like to

Holy shit.

Oh, shit.

This is not what it looks like.

I'll get it when you feed you over men.

No. I was only showing Pascal.

Showing her how to be a lesbian.

Yes, but not in the way that you... Hayden!

Hayden, Hayden!

Get out of here now!

What do you want? How did I... I need you on. I'm pretending you're straight.

Everyone shut the fuck up. I am straight.

Most of the time. Shut up.

So you got bored with me and dumped me. Oh, no, that's not the reason.

Come out here, you bastard.

Go, boys.

Get down. Go.

He turns up.

What's up, Doc? What have you been doing with my fiancée? Please go away, please

go away, please go away. You were there last night. Please go away, please go

away, please go away.

From a place in Glen Eden that doesn't exist.

Sorry?

She told me she was working in Glenfield.

She told me Glen Eden. She told me Glenfield. What about Glen Dean?

Glen Innes, actually.

Too many Glens in this city.

Glen Innes?

Yeah. The Francis Hotskins Retirement Village.

Well, she's there now.

She's not with you?

No. She's in Glen Innes.

Do you want your drink?

Let's go.

Come with me.

Why? Look, if you want a wedding, then we've got to get into my car and drive

very fast to Glen Inna. Why?

If Bruce arrives at the Francis Hodgkins retirement village first, he finds out

they've never heard of you, then you are fucked.

Just not by Bruce. What about my film?

Even if not, Loretta, some things are more important.

It would help.

We could improv a couple of Luke scenes.

Throw the ball around.

Very unprofessional.

Ben, if you don't stop talking, I'm going to kill you.

Yes,

I wanted it to end.

For his own good, and not like that.

Not hurting him like this.

Man, that Hayden is a dangerous driver. He almost knocked me over.

And as for the language from your sister's mouth.

Arthur, Arthur.

I want to say sorry in advance.

What for? What I'll do if she's not here.

Ah, she'll be here.

Thank you for the lift.

You're welcome.

Hey, girl.

Hey.

Mum.

Well, what are you guys doing here?

I wanted to see you.

Here I am. I've been going mad not being able to find you.

Well, I've been here all the time.

You know, you guys really didn't have to drive all the way out here.

There's something I have to tell you.

I've been lying to you, Pascal.

What?

About waiting for our wedding.

I need you now, Pascal.

Now? Now and every time I see you.

Every second we're together.

Because you are so freakishly hot, I can't think about anything else.

I've been lying to myself and to you and the world thinking I can wait. I can't.

I'm as horny as heck. I need you so bad.

I'm sorry.

No, don't be sorry.

That was really sweet and a total turn on. It just changes everything.

Yes, I suppose it does.

I've been lying to you too.

You know how I told you that I was a virgin too?

Well, you know how I told you that. It's not strictly true.

There have been other men in my life, but none of them were as amazing and as

wonderful and as good a kisser as you. I just didn't want you to feel weird and

I didn't want you to get scared off because you thought you were useless

the ladies. Because you're not.

You're amazing.

Especially with this lady here.

The thing is...

I lied to you and I've been going crazy ever since. I'm crazy, thanks.

Me too.

I know, you just said that.

So, does this mean that we're okay?

I think it means that we're better than okay.

Or of a kind.

Fuck.

At least I saved him from the Bahama Triangle.

I mean, he's not in prison or on the run.

Bermuda? It's the Bermuda Triangle.

It's my triangle?

I'll call it what I want. I'm the one who has to live there without a man for

the rest of my life? God's sake.

Come on.

Ow! So what's with your life? Shut up.

Call me psychic, but here is Munter drowning his sorrows.

Casey, this is Munter. He's really gutted because he has the hots for you

you dumped him.

Munter, this is Casey. She's not a lesbian. She was pretending for my film.

she is really sad because she has the hots for you.

Now do whatever you want. Just stop annoying me.

What? Hi, it's me.

Hey, I have the best news.

Bruce knows I'm not a virgin and he doesn't care.

So that means I don't have to be in your film anymore.

At least we should talk.

Peter.

Well,

look on the bright side.

You shot some really good stuff.

I'm sure a genius like you can cut something out of that.

Yeah, I can.

In the meantime, I've got this really big bed.

I just want to go to sleep.

I pretend like none of this ever happened.

Yep.

Looks like a pretty good fade.

Bloody is.

Seems such a shame to have seen it all the way to Pukkari.

Be cold by the time I got there.

This program was made with funding from New Zealand On Air.