All language subtitles for Outrageous Fortune s03e04 Contagious Blastments

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,110 --> 00:00:10,230 Aurora! Do you love me? Do you marry me? 2 00:00:10,990 --> 00:00:11,990 Don't you? 3 00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:20,150 How do you know that? 4 00:00:20,490 --> 00:00:21,490 Don't know, do you? 5 00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:22,750 You don't? 6 00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:40,600 What do you want? We're here to help with the funeral arrangements. 7 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,360 Damn you and your family. We just want to help in any way we can. Haven't you 8 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,360 done enough? 9 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,740 Isn't it enough that your son killed my beautiful girl? 10 00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:52,940 It was a bastard that killed your daughter. He may as well have been 11 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:57,020 May as well have pulled a trigger. Bullshit. He called the cops on Tyson. 12 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:02,300 Piss off. That's why she was riding that bike. Because of him, your bastard son. 13 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:06,880 Because he called the cops. Stan wouldn't do that. He did it. He did. 14 00:01:07,450 --> 00:01:11,970 I know, because she told me. I know, because the cops were raiding my place 15 00:01:11,970 --> 00:01:15,310 o 'clock in the morning. I can't tell the truth. What? Look, I'm here for me 16 00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:18,850 my family because we want to come to Aurora's funeral. Well, fuck you, Cheryl 17 00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:21,850 West. Hey, get your ass out of here, shitbag. 18 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:23,050 Look, I loved Aurora. 19 00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:24,710 We all did. 20 00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:27,390 And no one's going to stop us paying our respects. 21 00:01:27,730 --> 00:01:28,730 It's a private service. 22 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,370 You won't get no details from me. 23 00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:34,430 And if you do turn up, you'll bloody pay for it. 24 00:01:35,510 --> 00:01:36,510 Look forward to it. 25 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,560 Say it. 26 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,920 Stairway is the best song. 27 00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:18,860 Stairway. 28 00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:22,820 Stairway is... Ow! 29 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,140 A way too long song. 30 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,660 It's what DJs play when they want to go for a grip. 31 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,160 You can't slag my song. 32 00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,780 You said that my song was a dumber. 33 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,000 Yeah, that's because it is. 34 00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:35,660 Stairway's a real song. 35 00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:37,300 It's the mother of all songs. 36 00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:39,400 It's the song I want at my funeral. 37 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:41,280 Really? Yeah. 38 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:47,540 Because, you know, it's about heaven and how you get there and shit. 39 00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:54,140 You think that heaven adapts him to death? 40 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,160 He might be there. 41 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,720 It's really hot in heaven. 42 00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:04,240 It's kind of wet too. 43 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,340 You'd better come in there, don't you think? 44 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,660 Oh, joy. 45 00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:29,080 Your mum says you can have the beer, but only with the toast. 46 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,180 It's not real, man. 47 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,120 It's whole grain, with Vegemite. 48 00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:37,310 Doesn't feel like she's gone. 49 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:40,650 Just doesn't. 50 00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:48,110 There's going to be a funeral, bro. 51 00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:49,990 No proof of that. 52 00:03:50,570 --> 00:03:52,070 They put a notice in the paper. 53 00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:54,730 Wouldn't happen if she wasn't gone. 54 00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:56,310 I don't want to see that. 55 00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:59,450 You don't see dead people unless it's a movie. 56 00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:01,930 What if they're hiding you? 57 00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:04,750 They could keep her away from me. 58 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,880 Maybe he can't even be without the toast. 59 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:11,880 Oh, it's crap. 60 00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,860 Van wouldn't. We don't dob, ever. 61 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,940 Why don't they? Because they don't. Yeah, of course they don't. Well, 62 00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:18,579 must have. 63 00:04:18,579 --> 00:04:22,160 Well, it wasn't exactly a secret that Tyson's place was a tinny hell. Nah, 64 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,039 have been anyone. 65 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,160 Yeah, well, Pam is not telling me that my son is a narc. 66 00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:27,660 And nobody's going to stop him from going to that funeral. 67 00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:30,560 Well, you don't even believe she's dead. 68 00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:33,840 What? Well, you didn't see it. You don't believe it. 69 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:35,500 God, 70 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,420 wacko. It can be hard. 71 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,080 I nipped out to check the 325 at Trenton. When I come back, Rita was 72 00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:45,340 It wasn't until I saw her laid out that I knew she wasn't kidding. 73 00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:48,500 OK, so we take him to see her. 74 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,300 What? 75 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,280 He sees her on the slab. He knows she's dead. 76 00:04:54,020 --> 00:04:57,880 You can't just crash some funeral home, even if we did know where she was. He's 77 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,080 her fiancé. He's got the right. He's not at... He's not in Exit Ken. 78 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:06,130 Not legally, Grandpa. I'll trust you to go all Justice -type butt on it. Can you 79 00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:09,230 seriously break into a funeral home? It's this strange foreign concept called 80 00:05:09,230 --> 00:05:12,190 being loyal. Like you give a shit! You might not have to break in. 81 00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:15,610 What? I could maybe find her. 82 00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:18,530 If that's what you guys want. 83 00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:21,730 Hey, 84 00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:26,010 my darling. 85 00:05:35,340 --> 00:05:36,580 I've got to go out for a bit. 86 00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:38,440 I've got some news. 87 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,400 You can go see Aurora. 88 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,440 You found her? 89 00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:46,740 Hayden did. 90 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,500 She only knows him. 91 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:54,920 Well, Hayden runs old folks' homes. 92 00:05:55,600 --> 00:06:00,580 You know, and he has certain connections with other businesses. 93 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,160 Undertakers. 94 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:05,750 That's where she's hiding. 95 00:06:07,290 --> 00:06:08,970 Then she's not. 96 00:06:10,510 --> 00:06:11,510 Undertakers. 97 00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:15,310 That's a good place to hide. 98 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,610 Thanks, mate. 99 00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:21,490 Okay, it's a call with Terry. Just don't be too long. 100 00:06:22,770 --> 00:06:24,090 It's down there. It's the second on the right. 101 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,550 And no weird stuff, okay? 102 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:26,610 I used to think heaven would be real boring because of all the angels and 103 00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:30,490 Oh, that's way more fun. 104 00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:37,210 See, I reckon that it's like Asgard. 105 00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:38,590 Yeah. 106 00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:41,650 Is that in the South Island? 107 00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:44,730 It's wherever you want it to be. 108 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,590 Anyway. 109 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,300 You're not gonna die. 110 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,800 Because I'm not gonna leave you. 111 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,000 Hey. 112 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,420 You gotta know. 113 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:04,420 I didn't mean it. 114 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,480 Aurora. 115 00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:09,180 None of it. 116 00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:14,380 Tell me you know. 117 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,620 Tell me you know. 118 00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:22,470 Aurora. Aurora! 119 00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,050 Tell me you fucking know! 120 00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:26,790 Aurora! 121 00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:28,390 What are you doing to me? 122 00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:29,830 Nothing. 123 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,270 She's dead, man. 124 00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,669 Yeah. She is. 125 00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:49,490 Shit. What a bastard. 126 00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:52,290 I wish I could... Yeah, I know. 127 00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,310 I shouldn't even be in this place. Not now. 128 00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:01,290 These are the cops that... What? 129 00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:13,790 She... She says you punched her. 130 00:09:15,290 --> 00:09:16,290 Lying tart. 131 00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:18,390 I'll bloody punch Monica if I get the chance. 132 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,820 My lawyer's going to call you about going over your statement. Martin, yeah. 133 00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:24,860 Any good? 134 00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,180 He's off the list, he'll do. 135 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,399 What does that mean? 136 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,840 It means I can't afford top draw for a minor charge. 137 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,720 It's not minor if it's keeping you in here, is it? Sure, I've got a lawyer. 138 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,780 quite like to keep him for two minutes. Well, I don't shout at him or anything. 139 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,200 Swearing? 140 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:41,800 Hell no. 141 00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:44,880 God, I miss you. 142 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,440 Not for much longer. 143 00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:50,670 I'm 25. 144 00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:52,850 You must get asked in pubs all the time. 145 00:09:53,290 --> 00:09:55,130 Yeah, I do take ID with me. 146 00:09:55,910 --> 00:09:56,910 Previous court experience? 147 00:09:57,410 --> 00:09:58,389 A bit. 148 00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,390 Mostly traffic. 149 00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,570 Conversion, careless use, DRC? 150 00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:05,250 You do seem to know the technical terms. I've got four kids. What was your last 151 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:07,290 case? A stationary vehicle. 152 00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:08,550 It was quite a tricky one. 153 00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:10,690 Park it. 154 00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:15,030 With respect, you're a witness, so if we can just run through your statement, 155 00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:16,050 then I can get on with it. 156 00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:17,770 Well, Monica... 157 00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:21,140 Is it lying? How? 158 00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,300 That. For the court to decide. 159 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,140 And how are they going to work it when her copmates back her up? This is 160 00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:29,180 harassment. This is misuse of police power. 161 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,980 I don't think that's an argument I'll be running. 162 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,240 Why the hell not? 163 00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:37,400 Well, technically, an assault did take place. Which means he's guilty. 164 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,740 We'll argue it, of course. 165 00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:40,340 I'm keen to it. There's ground. 166 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,580 You think this is a loser. 167 00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:44,000 There's always a plea of mitigation. 168 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,179 Plenty there. 169 00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:48,720 No previous convictions. Long service. No, you're off the case with him now. 170 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,500 You can't do that. I can, and if you don't believe me, I will give you a full 171 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,860 rundown on the meaning of the word assault. Are you threatening me? Are you 172 00:10:55,860 --> 00:11:00,040 sick? A plea in mitigation means that he is still inside. That is not what we're 173 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:01,040 hiring you for. 174 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,640 Loretta. 175 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,180 I'd like to speak to my client. Say what you like. You're off the case. What is 176 00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:06,180 it, hun? 177 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,640 Honestly? 178 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,620 She's such a lovely person, but she's got a lot going on. 179 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:11,819 A funeral. 180 00:11:11,820 --> 00:11:12,820 With drugs. 181 00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:16,160 UPNs. Gangs. The whole heap of shit. It's so not her fault. 182 00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:17,460 Okay, I'm on my way. 183 00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:25,770 Okay, we've got a private service at the funeral home at 2pm. Okay, that's where 184 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:26,770 we'll be then. 185 00:11:27,130 --> 00:11:29,950 Hang on, hang on. Back up here. You're going to crash a funeral. 186 00:11:30,570 --> 00:11:34,190 Yeah? No, no. Terry's been really good. He doesn't need all that aggro. You 187 00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:36,630 always were a pussy when you weren't a Nazi. 188 00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:38,430 Well, what happens after that? 189 00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:41,910 Interment, Y committee at 3. It's private security guards. 190 00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:43,350 Okay, we'll go there. 191 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,570 What's interment? 192 00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:50,550 It's the bit, you know, when they put the coffin in the ground. 193 00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:54,730 Well, they're burying her in a coffin. 194 00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:58,190 Yeah, it kind of goes with the internment territory. 195 00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,110 No, they can't. They can. 196 00:12:01,390 --> 00:12:04,790 No, no. We shut her in. She hates that. 197 00:12:05,050 --> 00:12:11,450 And then worms will come, and then her flesh will rot. Well, that's what 198 00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:12,089 with bodies. 199 00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:16,050 Van, it's a natural process. It's like compost, and Aurora was really into 200 00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,230 compost and recycling. 201 00:12:17,930 --> 00:12:18,629 No way. 202 00:12:18,630 --> 00:12:21,610 No, she was. Remember, she used to make us put bottles out. They can't do this. 203 00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:23,090 You've got to stop them. 204 00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:25,670 You. 205 00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:27,210 You know the guy, the funeral guy. 206 00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:30,010 You've got to talk to him. There's a limit to what I can do. You're useless! 207 00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:34,190 Got that right. Mate. You don't get it. None of you fucking get it. Van. 208 00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:38,510 He'd like it. 209 00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:40,430 We'll have to take care of it then, won't we? 210 00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:45,870 You're not seeming all that friendly. 211 00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:49,020 Get a good eye, fool, and sit on that. 212 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,160 Gee. Wasn't that who called the cops on that piece of gobshine? 213 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:53,560 Wasn't my grandson. 214 00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:55,280 I'd like to know who did do it. 215 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,900 My deep condolences, Ted, very deep, to you and your family. 216 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:04,180 Thanks. The drugs, they're very bad for our kids, huh? 217 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:09,460 And my nephews, the ones who work for me, all the time whacked off their heads 218 00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:11,280 because of those Tyson -type drug dealers. 219 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:12,720 You told them? 220 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,220 I ain't talking about my lazy families or the police. 221 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,440 Someone told. 222 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:18,220 But it won't stop us having a funeral. 223 00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:20,280 Well, if you need anything, just let me know. 224 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:25,700 And because of my sympathy, Mrs. Fulani will make a big pot of chop suey. 225 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,340 Because I tell her to. 226 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:28,880 Your nephews, are they big? 227 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,720 Enormous, working out all the time. 228 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:31,960 Could be handy, then. 229 00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:34,639 Who's that? 230 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,660 Me. Let me go see what he wants. 231 00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:38,940 You better. 232 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:51,580 Kappa! 233 00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:53,580 I just need a pen, that's all. 234 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:01,520 What for? 235 00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:03,980 Some stuff I gotta do. 236 00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:05,340 For Aurora. 237 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,320 Can't do it on my own. 238 00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:20,310 Want to do a bit of fishing? 239 00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:22,090 Why would she want me to go fishing? 240 00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:25,810 Hey, that's a good one. 241 00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:29,110 This one. 242 00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:32,950 It's a dunga. No, I'm not going out in that piece of shit even for a roarer. 243 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,090 You don't have to. 244 00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:45,230 Then why do we need all this shit? 245 00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:46,610 Because we do. 246 00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:50,310 Fuck, we've been in there a parking lot or something. I'm just going to do this! 247 00:14:52,130 --> 00:14:53,270 The way she wanted it. 248 00:14:54,030 --> 00:14:55,030 Okay? 249 00:14:55,690 --> 00:14:56,690 Okay. 250 00:15:00,050 --> 00:15:01,250 It ain't cool, man. 251 00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:02,269 No sweat. 252 00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:05,010 Yeah, only because no one's dumb enough to break into a place full of dead 253 00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:07,290 people. Make some email and get off on them. 254 00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:10,090 You ain't done it. What? 255 00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:26,240 No, I don't wanna it's for her you want me to do this you gonna tell me what the 256 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:32,340 fuck's going on Okay 257 00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:40,780 She 258 00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:47,720 had this thing about how it should be I'd make it so you're like the princess 259 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,020 in the story. You've got the glass coffin. 260 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,460 So the dwarves could be perving at her. 261 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:54,379 No way. 262 00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,240 Not me. Why not? You're as hot as her. 263 00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:58,320 A cubby in a coffin. 264 00:15:58,620 --> 00:15:59,980 Or shut up in the ground. 265 00:16:00,780 --> 00:16:03,160 Now it's like with the wedding, you know. 266 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,740 The air and the trees. 267 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:08,560 It's like the Vikings. 268 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,700 What about them again? 269 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,940 They didn't have churches. They just... 270 00:16:15,230 --> 00:16:16,710 Did their thing out in the air. 271 00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:19,790 What if it rained? 272 00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:21,090 They didn't care. 273 00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:24,650 They just had to be open to nature. 274 00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:30,750 You know, sailing off to Asgard, their spirits floating with the flames. 275 00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:33,670 You see? 276 00:16:35,170 --> 00:16:36,390 No walls, man. 277 00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:38,230 She can't be in no box. 278 00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:54,370 You've got to help me get her out. I can't touch you. She's not some vampire. 279 00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:58,670 It's tapu. So you're not into that shit. It doesn't matter if you're into it. 280 00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:00,790 It'll still bite you on the ass. Then I'll get bit as well. 281 00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:02,030 But you're not Maori. 282 00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:04,409 That's racist. 283 00:17:04,410 --> 00:17:07,589 No, it's not. If there's an ass -biting rule, it should be one bite for 284 00:17:07,589 --> 00:17:10,329 everyone. Look, I'm not touching a dead body, okay? Don't! 285 00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:16,089 Okay, just help me lift it. 286 00:17:17,589 --> 00:17:18,589 Please, bro. 287 00:17:20,589 --> 00:17:21,630 You're my best man. 288 00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:24,089 Doesn't that mean shit to you? 289 00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:35,850 Whoever told those cops 290 00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:36,850 he'll suffer for it. 291 00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:39,190 What if it was then? 292 00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:42,230 He wouldn't. We're never dogged. They know the consequences. 293 00:17:42,810 --> 00:17:44,130 Isn't it just a story? 294 00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:46,990 A curse is not a story. 295 00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:48,330 Yeah, yeah. 296 00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:50,030 Crushed by the coal truck. 297 00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:54,920 Married to the Irish pofter, withered from polio, so poor they ate the glaze 298 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:59,720 the plates, all because someone dobbed. Oh, and great -uncle Luther got 10 to 20 299 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:00,920 for the Reefton post office. 300 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,200 You took it all in. 301 00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:06,280 Grandpa, other people got bedtime stories like Goldilocks and Peter 302 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,200 We got the curse of the West. 303 00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,500 Peter Rabbit didn't end well either. 304 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,500 Mum, you can't just buy someone off with a lawyer. 305 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:14,980 Well, he wasn't a lawyer, he was a butthole. 306 00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:18,170 I need someone who can win this. Well, that's at the Judd. Yeah, it would suit 307 00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:20,490 you just fine if he stayed inside, wouldn't it? What's the point? 308 00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:22,450 Look, you must know someone. 309 00:18:23,210 --> 00:18:24,210 Maybe. 310 00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:26,310 Someone who can kick legal ass. 311 00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:30,390 Look, Mum, get real. 312 00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:32,610 All right? The big guns, they're expensive. 313 00:18:32,890 --> 00:18:34,050 Out of your league. I don't care. 314 00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:36,250 Am I interrupting? 315 00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:38,930 No. No, no, Mum was just leaving. 316 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:40,990 A couple of names. 317 00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:42,190 That's all I need. 318 00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,610 Cheryl West, I presume. 319 00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:49,670 It must be Gary, the builder. 320 00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:51,290 Yeah, he's done a job or two. 321 00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:52,510 Right, yeah. 322 00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:55,030 Excuse me. 323 00:18:56,030 --> 00:18:57,550 Oh, come on. One second. 324 00:18:59,950 --> 00:19:00,950 How's that? 325 00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:03,870 He's gone off with Munter, I hope. 326 00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:07,050 All right, well, I'll see you tomorrow. 327 00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,910 OK. 3pm, white committee. Don't wear anything you don't want ruined. 328 00:19:10,570 --> 00:19:12,310 OK. Nice to meet you, Gary. 329 00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:13,650 Likewise. 330 00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,910 You're at the top of it already, so do it. 331 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:53,130 I don't get it, this fucking shit. 332 00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:54,790 She liked them. 333 00:19:55,090 --> 00:19:56,090 She liked them. 334 00:19:56,290 --> 00:19:58,770 Why? Because they were like heavy metal? Because of her beliefs. 335 00:19:59,650 --> 00:20:01,050 She knew heaps about that. 336 00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:03,790 Even though she didn't get the course, see? 337 00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:06,870 She knew heaps about lots of stuff. 338 00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:12,210 They put their dead on the boat and they set them on fire. 339 00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:16,290 But they light them at sunset. 340 00:20:16,510 --> 00:20:22,990 And then if the flames match the sunset, it meant that person had led a good 341 00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:25,670 life. That wouldn't be a problem for you. 342 00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:27,390 Can I watch this? 343 00:20:29,950 --> 00:20:30,950 It's my song. 344 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:32,569 Is it? 345 00:20:32,570 --> 00:20:33,570 Yeah. 346 00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:38,850 I'm still a piece of shit. No, you liked it just then. No, I didn't. Yes, you 347 00:20:38,850 --> 00:20:40,650 did. I didn't. You did. 348 00:20:42,210 --> 00:20:43,210 I didn't. 349 00:20:44,350 --> 00:20:45,350 Yes, you did. 350 00:20:55,090 --> 00:20:56,190 Should have been sunset. 351 00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:58,470 Bet you Vikings have bigger boats. 352 00:20:58,670 --> 00:20:59,670 You don't know. 353 00:20:59,690 --> 00:21:00,750 It's not enough wood. 354 00:21:01,210 --> 00:21:01,969 I've got petrol. 355 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,550 It's going to take a lot of heat, you know, even with a side of pork or a real 356 00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:07,090 big roast on a outdoor barbie. It takes a lot to cook it. 357 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:08,350 She's not a barbie. 358 00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:10,330 Yeah, I know, and you're going to burn her. 359 00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:13,050 But you ain't no Viking, and this ain't no Viking funeral. 360 00:21:13,310 --> 00:21:14,310 Doing what she wanted. 361 00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:15,730 Yeah, so you keep fucking saying. 362 00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:17,130 What she wanted. 363 00:21:17,530 --> 00:21:19,210 What she wanted was not to be dead. 364 00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:28,710 What is it? What is it? 365 00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,210 That's not her, it's some old brown dude. 366 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:39,110 It was the same room. 367 00:21:39,350 --> 00:21:40,670 We stole the wrong fucking body. 368 00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:43,510 It was the same room. I was talking to the lady and now I'm screwed. 369 00:21:44,150 --> 00:21:45,150 It's okay. 370 00:21:46,650 --> 00:21:47,529 It's okay. 371 00:21:47,530 --> 00:21:49,430 How can you say anything's okay? It's okay. 372 00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:51,950 We put him back. 373 00:21:52,170 --> 00:21:54,010 We put him back exactly where we found him. 374 00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:55,530 We've got to get her off. 375 00:21:55,810 --> 00:21:58,870 Nah, nah, enough, man. I'm not being a nobody, not for you, not for anyone. 376 00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:00,070 I have to! 377 00:22:01,210 --> 00:22:02,550 I've got to make up for what I did. 378 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,440 It was you who called the cops, wasn't it? So what if I did? 379 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,560 Well, if you're so proud, why don't you tell no one? Piss off. 380 00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:14,600 Look, just don't make it right. 381 00:22:14,860 --> 00:22:16,380 Just don't make it better. 382 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:20,040 Just don't stop me from being a dickhead who took something good and stamped it 383 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,040 into nothing. 384 00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:23,140 Fuck you! 385 00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:44,770 Have you let him break in here and do this? 386 00:22:44,970 --> 00:22:47,070 I've got to clean up, man. Do some thinking. What? 387 00:22:47,590 --> 00:22:48,549 Oh, yeah, great. 388 00:22:48,550 --> 00:22:50,310 Bye. Have a lovely wash. 389 00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:53,290 Your bloody brother. 390 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,610 I went on a limb with Terry and he does this. 391 00:22:55,870 --> 00:22:56,729 He's upset. 392 00:22:56,730 --> 00:22:58,870 He's deranged more like it, as well as mental. 393 00:22:59,110 --> 00:23:00,110 And he's an idiot. 394 00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:03,130 He's not an idiot. Oh, you call him that all the time. Yeah, he's my brother, 395 00:23:03,190 --> 00:23:06,310 but you don't call him that ever. Not this again. This West Coast, a fucking 396 00:23:06,310 --> 00:23:08,110 honour! And what are we going to do tomorrow? 397 00:23:08,570 --> 00:23:09,570 Oh, yeah, that's right, great. 398 00:23:09,610 --> 00:23:10,830 We're going to crash a gang funeral. 399 00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:12,180 Yeah, is that what you think? 400 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,360 It's a disaster waiting to happen. Well, if that's the way you feel, you don't 401 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,279 have to come. 402 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,580 You can just piss off. 403 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:29,340 Hello. Hi. 404 00:23:30,140 --> 00:23:31,780 I just got a message from my lawyer. 405 00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:33,700 That is my ex -lawyer. 406 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,340 Threats of violence, apparently. 407 00:23:35,940 --> 00:23:38,360 Well, you're better off without him. We need someone better. 408 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:39,640 Jesus, Cheryl. 409 00:23:39,930 --> 00:23:43,050 Is this something you've got against the entire legal profession, or just the 410 00:23:43,050 --> 00:23:45,830 ones that work for me? No, I'll get you a lawyer, a proper one. 411 00:23:46,530 --> 00:23:51,850 Cheryl? No, listen, I need you out. I want you out, so I can't have maybe... 412 00:23:51,850 --> 00:23:55,510 know, if you're in someone's corner, it's not half -assed. You back them up 413 00:23:55,510 --> 00:23:56,510 the way. 414 00:23:58,050 --> 00:23:59,050 Okay. 415 00:23:59,930 --> 00:24:00,930 How's Van? 416 00:24:02,830 --> 00:24:03,830 Not too good. 417 00:24:03,970 --> 00:24:04,970 Shit. 418 00:24:06,970 --> 00:24:07,990 Well, you have a good day, okay? 419 00:24:09,070 --> 00:24:10,530 And don't get into too much trouble. 420 00:24:11,530 --> 00:24:12,690 I never have to. 421 00:24:15,230 --> 00:24:16,270 Where's your fancy man? 422 00:24:17,090 --> 00:24:18,090 Not coming. 423 00:24:18,230 --> 00:24:20,170 You know where your friends are when the chips are down. 424 00:24:20,530 --> 00:24:22,470 Can you get Van up? We've got to get organized. 425 00:24:22,850 --> 00:24:23,850 Hi, doll. 426 00:24:25,350 --> 00:24:26,350 Ted gave me birth. 427 00:24:26,530 --> 00:24:27,790 Great. I'm prepared. 428 00:24:28,110 --> 00:24:29,810 We'll knock a few bikies for six. 429 00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:33,150 Ted, we just want to get in there. We don't want to do any damage. 430 00:24:33,590 --> 00:24:34,389 You think so? 431 00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:36,230 After what they said about me and my grandson? 432 00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:38,230 Van's not in his room. He's not here. 433 00:24:38,730 --> 00:24:39,730 What, was he in the bathroom? 434 00:24:39,890 --> 00:24:41,590 I don't think he came home last night. 435 00:24:43,350 --> 00:24:44,350 Oh. 436 00:24:44,670 --> 00:24:48,510 Um, OK, I'll text Munter. I don't think that's going to help. 437 00:25:07,030 --> 00:25:08,030 Hey. 438 00:25:10,730 --> 00:25:11,730 Hey, bro. 439 00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:14,970 It's just me. 440 00:25:15,690 --> 00:25:18,510 I didn't know where else to go, alright? 441 00:25:18,930 --> 00:25:20,690 However, it's alright. 442 00:25:21,550 --> 00:25:22,770 Really, it's fine. 443 00:25:29,290 --> 00:25:30,590 You want this? 444 00:25:38,230 --> 00:25:39,270 We should, uh... 445 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,460 Get you home, eh? Get you cleaned up. 446 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,000 I'll drive you. I can't go home, Jed. I did it. 447 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,240 Did what? 448 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,440 I dubbed him. 449 00:25:50,660 --> 00:25:51,940 Tyson. To the cops. 450 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:57,880 There was this shit in my head and I had to get him. 451 00:25:59,340 --> 00:26:00,340 I told her. 452 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:02,520 She went there. 453 00:26:04,820 --> 00:26:08,060 She must have dreaded taking a day in this wash. 454 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:14,620 You hate me. 455 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,960 What? Just leave me alone. 456 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:18,360 Okay. 457 00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:32,540 I don't hate you, Ben. 458 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,160 I can't go home. 459 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,760 He didn't. 460 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:46,880 He wouldn't. 461 00:26:47,180 --> 00:26:48,180 He did. 462 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:49,580 It could have been Filani. 463 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,520 Anyone. It wasn't. Oh, shit. 464 00:26:53,420 --> 00:26:55,200 Van doesn't want to come home because of it. 465 00:26:56,180 --> 00:27:00,420 I've told him that's a heap of crap. My oath it is. Grandpa. He's a dobber. Done 466 00:27:00,420 --> 00:27:02,360 his chips. He won't come back into this house. 467 00:27:02,570 --> 00:27:03,209 Not ever. 468 00:27:03,210 --> 00:27:06,210 Oh, yeah, and who was the last family member who dobbed to the cops? It was 469 00:27:06,210 --> 00:27:09,230 precious warfare. Didn't see you kicking him out. Didn't come back here, did he? 470 00:27:09,290 --> 00:27:11,210 He went inside, took his punishment. 471 00:27:11,510 --> 00:27:14,550 Jesus, Ted. And he was defending what was his, what was right. And what makes 472 00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:15,550 you think Van wasn't? 473 00:27:16,070 --> 00:27:17,310 Aurora wasn't on with Tyson. 474 00:27:17,550 --> 00:27:20,030 What, you ran their checking, were you? She was a lovely girl, like an angel. 475 00:27:20,250 --> 00:27:21,650 Oh, God, you can be blind sometimes. 476 00:27:22,050 --> 00:27:23,210 You know all about it. 477 00:27:23,470 --> 00:27:26,750 Adultery and bloody knickers. Oh, shut up, Ted. Are we going to the funeral? 478 00:27:26,950 --> 00:27:28,110 No, I've got to sort this first. 479 00:27:28,410 --> 00:27:29,590 No. No. 480 00:27:30,530 --> 00:27:31,530 No, I'll manage. 481 00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:47,760 You've got a bloody nerve. My son, he did call the cops. 482 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,120 But he had a reason for it. 483 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,900 He thought that you had a thing for his girl, that you wanted her back. 484 00:27:55,180 --> 00:27:56,180 Maybe. Maybe. 485 00:27:56,580 --> 00:28:00,220 Maybe not is what I need to know. You leave him alone. You had her with you 486 00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:03,420 every day, looking after your every need. You're telling me you didn't try 487 00:28:03,420 --> 00:28:05,400 with her? You get out of here. Were you on with her? 488 00:28:06,060 --> 00:28:07,120 You've got to tell me. 489 00:28:07,660 --> 00:28:11,200 I know that she cared about you. She cared about you a great deal because she 490 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:12,400 told me. She wouldn't. 491 00:28:13,180 --> 00:28:14,640 She wouldn't. 492 00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:20,700 And I tried to tell her how I'd treat her good, but she only wanted him 493 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,620 And this is how he fucking repays her. 494 00:28:23,860 --> 00:28:25,780 Well, he wasn't dealing drugs, was he? 495 00:28:26,260 --> 00:28:31,160 And he didn't make her get on that bike, did he? You did, to save your precious 496 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:32,340 fucking stash. 497 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,100 And at five o 'clock in the morning when the cops raided your place, you were in 498 00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:37,200 the clear because of that, weren't you? 499 00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:45,800 Make you feel better, doesn't it? Blaming him? 500 00:28:46,220 --> 00:28:47,220 No, it doesn't. 501 00:28:52,780 --> 00:28:53,780 I'm sorry. 502 00:28:55,220 --> 00:28:57,440 I'm sorry for Van's part in this. 503 00:28:58,400 --> 00:28:59,400 Any of this. 504 00:29:00,180 --> 00:29:01,180 I'm sorry. 505 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,180 feel for you and your loss. 506 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,420 Because no one should ever have to lose a child. 507 00:29:10,060 --> 00:29:11,060 Not in any way. 508 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,460 And we won't be bothering you at the funeral today. 509 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:24,840 Come home, love. 510 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:26,480 Come on. 511 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,880 Van, do you believe the ramblings of a superstitious old man? 512 00:29:31,420 --> 00:29:32,420 He's right. 513 00:29:34,010 --> 00:29:35,470 Van, you did what you did. 514 00:29:36,050 --> 00:29:37,410 But it was an accident. 515 00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:39,410 It was. 516 00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:42,330 And now you've got to come home and front up. 517 00:29:43,690 --> 00:29:44,910 It'd be bad if I do. 518 00:29:45,930 --> 00:29:46,970 It'd be worse if you don't. 519 00:29:53,730 --> 00:29:54,810 And I'm your mother. 520 00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:57,910 So you do what I tell you. Come on, get up. 521 00:29:58,250 --> 00:29:59,250 Come on. 522 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:11,440 Say a bloody word. 523 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:12,780 I don't talk to the Dame. 524 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,720 I've made tea and coffee. 525 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,000 And tea and coffee. 526 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:25,180 Loretta, can you get down to the supermarket? 527 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,640 And, uh, somebody, phone Munter. 528 00:30:28,900 --> 00:30:29,900 Text him. 529 00:30:30,140 --> 00:30:32,920 He turned his phone off. Well, he was going to think. Where? 530 00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,680 In his thinking spot, you know. 531 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:46,160 Hey, Casey. 532 00:30:47,020 --> 00:30:48,720 I got a message from Cheryl. 533 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:49,440 This 534 00:30:49,440 --> 00:31:01,580 is 535 00:31:01,580 --> 00:31:05,280 what you think? 536 00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:06,820 Sometimes. 537 00:31:07,140 --> 00:31:08,200 It's okay that I'm here? 538 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:10,440 Sure. 539 00:31:10,860 --> 00:31:12,220 It's a real nice spot for thinking. 540 00:31:14,590 --> 00:31:15,590 Do you know any karakia? 541 00:31:17,350 --> 00:31:18,510 That's a prayer, not a band. 542 00:31:18,890 --> 00:31:19,890 Yeah. 543 00:31:21,190 --> 00:31:27,910 Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. 544 00:31:30,810 --> 00:31:31,810 That do? 545 00:31:32,450 --> 00:31:33,450 Cheers. 546 00:31:36,910 --> 00:31:38,050 Cheryl wants you home. 547 00:31:38,250 --> 00:31:39,830 I can't go to the police right now. 548 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,280 What, you two? 549 00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:44,860 I saw how he was going all crazy and jealous, and then he called me gay. 550 00:31:45,180 --> 00:31:46,039 Are you gay? 551 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,600 Of course not. He said it to piss me off. 552 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,880 But if I'd stopped him, you know, just followed him and stopped him. Oh, look. 553 00:31:51,980 --> 00:31:54,160 You're the best mate a guy ever had, all right. 554 00:31:55,060 --> 00:31:57,740 Yeah? I wish I had a friend like you. 555 00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,200 Yeah? Yeah. 556 00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:02,820 Cheryl says we've got to do a send -off for Aurora at home. 557 00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:05,520 What happened to Waikumete? 558 00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:07,300 They know what they did. 559 00:32:09,580 --> 00:32:11,760 But Cheryl says we've got to make it good for him anyways. 560 00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:15,900 Okay. 561 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,000 I might need a hand. 562 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,640 Oh, hi, gorgeous. This is so terrible. 563 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,200 Mum, I think something's burning. 564 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:26,560 What? Oh, hold on a minute. 565 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:35,020 Did I? 566 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:37,400 No. 567 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:39,740 What are you doing here? 568 00:32:39,940 --> 00:32:43,200 Well, I heard from Jethro there was a bit of a wake. I wanted to pay my 569 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:44,200 respects. 570 00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:47,060 I didn't know that you even liked them that much. 571 00:32:47,260 --> 00:32:49,120 He was honest, decent. They had wedding plans. 572 00:32:49,540 --> 00:32:50,740 I admire that in a man. 573 00:32:51,420 --> 00:32:52,420 Yeah, yeah. 574 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,320 Can I slip these on for you? Yeah, the barbie's out there. Thanks. 575 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:59,560 I found him. 576 00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:01,020 I found him. 577 00:33:01,060 --> 00:33:03,240 Oh, Munter, am I glad to see you. 578 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:05,800 Hey. 579 00:33:06,180 --> 00:33:08,460 Okay, Munter, we've really got to pull this together, okay? 580 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:11,720 I'm on the case, Mrs. West. Good, good. 581 00:33:16,220 --> 00:33:17,220 Hey, dude. 582 00:33:17,980 --> 00:33:19,180 Mum says you have to get ready. 583 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:44,699 Who's that? 584 00:33:44,700 --> 00:33:45,700 He's cute. 585 00:33:45,820 --> 00:33:47,060 It's a white crow shell. 586 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,460 So? We're grieving here. 587 00:33:50,260 --> 00:33:51,260 Really grieving. 588 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,100 Yeah, well, death's probably the number one aphrodisiac. At least in my 589 00:33:55,100 --> 00:33:57,740 experience. That is so awful. 590 00:33:58,100 --> 00:33:59,540 Can I help it if it's true? 591 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:06,679 Sausage roll? 592 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:11,179 Oh, you should have some topsoy. It's very good. Made by my wife after much 593 00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:12,179 complaining. 594 00:34:14,089 --> 00:34:15,870 You reject this fine chop suey? 595 00:34:18,570 --> 00:34:19,570 What happened to you? 596 00:34:19,590 --> 00:34:20,590 I could ask the same thing. 597 00:34:21,290 --> 00:34:22,290 3pm, Waikumete? 598 00:34:22,850 --> 00:34:24,230 Yeah, I'm the only bastard there. 599 00:34:25,310 --> 00:34:26,069 You went? 600 00:34:26,070 --> 00:34:27,590 Yep. Took a golf club as well. 601 00:34:29,290 --> 00:34:31,670 I still got done over by a big motherfucker on the day. 602 00:34:31,989 --> 00:34:33,469 He seemed really happy to see me. 603 00:34:35,230 --> 00:34:36,949 It doesn't feel that bloody funny, I can tell you. 604 00:34:37,270 --> 00:34:38,350 It was a change of plan. 605 00:34:40,070 --> 00:34:41,070 Fossil roll? 606 00:34:45,929 --> 00:34:47,469 You're such a bitch to like me, aren't you? 607 00:34:53,670 --> 00:34:54,030 Go 608 00:34:54,030 --> 00:35:01,130 get 609 00:35:01,130 --> 00:35:02,790 your grandpa. Use force if you have to. 610 00:35:12,450 --> 00:35:15,030 If he's not punished, he'll bear the fruit. We all will. 611 00:35:15,420 --> 00:35:18,100 Grandpa. There are rules for a reason. Rules for torture. 612 00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:21,180 They're not like actual real life rules, Grandpa. 613 00:35:21,540 --> 00:35:22,540 They're west rules. 614 00:35:22,820 --> 00:35:24,320 Never burgle on a full moon. 615 00:35:24,660 --> 00:35:25,419 It's light. 616 00:35:25,420 --> 00:35:26,299 You get seen. 617 00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:28,840 Never hide money where a dog can find it. 618 00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:31,780 If a dog can get it, any bugger with a shovel can dig it up. 619 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,380 Don't drink absinthe, even on a full stomach. 620 00:35:34,860 --> 00:35:37,060 Disgusting stuff. Makes you sick. I was fine. 621 00:35:37,900 --> 00:35:40,500 He's bad luck from now on. That's a fact. He's cursed. 622 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:41,840 Look. 623 00:35:46,220 --> 00:35:49,120 Some shit that happened in 1866. 624 00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:52,280 What? All that crap with the polio and the poster. 625 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:54,960 That was my sister, 1957. 626 00:35:56,540 --> 00:35:57,540 You were there? 627 00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:58,700 Too right I was. 628 00:35:59,620 --> 00:36:02,800 Um... You were the dobber. 629 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,400 You dobbed in your own uncle. How could you do that? 630 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:07,680 He was a shit Luther. 631 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:08,800 Beat me, auntie. 632 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:09,880 Only owed me money. 633 00:36:10,740 --> 00:36:14,680 But he set the curse and it rained down like shit from a cracked toilet. 634 00:36:15,779 --> 00:36:17,040 My own little sister. 635 00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:21,140 Polio, then knocked up to an Irish puked her. 636 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,280 Well, too bad. 637 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,320 What? Too bad, Grandpa. 638 00:36:28,620 --> 00:36:31,940 You stand by your family or you're nothing. You told me that. 639 00:36:33,340 --> 00:36:36,080 And if you don't come with me now, I will use this to make you. 640 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,200 You know nothing about cricket. 641 00:36:43,260 --> 00:36:44,260 Sausage? What? 642 00:36:46,259 --> 00:36:47,660 Oh. Burn him like a pro. 643 00:36:47,980 --> 00:36:48,980 Yeah, thanks. 644 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:55,440 Look, I don't want to be inappropriate, but I gather you could be needing a good 645 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:56,440 bloke right about now. 646 00:36:57,300 --> 00:36:58,300 A lawyer. 647 00:36:58,780 --> 00:37:00,820 You know what I fuck with? They're hard to find, I know. 648 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:04,300 But here's your man. He's a pit bull in a suit, wins them all and charges like a 649 00:37:04,300 --> 00:37:05,138 wounded one. 650 00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:07,300 But if you needed help with that, you let me know. 651 00:37:07,620 --> 00:37:08,620 What? Cash. 652 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,520 And if you need any, I can probably help. I couldn't... Look, I'd expect it 653 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:13,580 back, don't you worry. I'm not Santa. 654 00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,550 But, you know, there's no pressure on the repayments. 655 00:37:17,770 --> 00:37:20,770 Well, you're very kind. 656 00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:22,010 No rush, Cheryl. 657 00:37:22,570 --> 00:37:23,950 You're plenty to deal with here. 658 00:37:24,310 --> 00:37:25,770 Yes, you think. 659 00:37:26,870 --> 00:37:28,450 Hey, would you excuse me? 660 00:37:33,530 --> 00:37:34,530 Hey. 661 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:59,220 Yeah, well, a while ago, Van asked me to be his best man, so I've been thinking 662 00:37:59,220 --> 00:38:00,220 about that. 663 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,880 See, I've been around since Chris Amon Primary, when Van first met Aurora. 664 00:38:06,460 --> 00:38:10,900 I was there the first time he pinged her bra strap, and when they had their 665 00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:14,800 first pash, she had to keep a lookout so Mrs. Wesley wouldn't catch them, 666 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,020 because she had, like, eyes in the back of her head. 667 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,900 And, well, they kind of drifted apart there for a while. 668 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:27,520 Then in Aurora, until the Hoochie Girl contest, where Aurora, she come third, 669 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,780 which was a respectable placing given the hotness of the chicks that night. 670 00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:33,700 But that was it. 671 00:38:34,340 --> 00:38:38,480 You know, for my best mate, that was the woman he loved. 672 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,920 And he braved the freezer and the bikey bastards to get that woman. 673 00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:45,880 That's how much he loved her. 674 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,540 And that's something that makes me feel humble. 675 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:52,120 That love. 676 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,420 So I'd like you to charge your glasses. 677 00:39:01,180 --> 00:39:08,160 But yeah, Aurora, wherever she is, she knows 678 00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:14,160 how far Van was willing to go for her to get her spirit to fly in a Viking way. 679 00:39:16,340 --> 00:39:17,680 So we're going to do that now. 680 00:39:18,180 --> 00:39:19,180 Lights a flame. 681 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,080 Because she was a choice chick, eh? 682 00:39:23,580 --> 00:39:24,580 The best. 683 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:36,480 We love you, man. 684 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:39,880 Just like we know you love dirt. 685 00:39:43,940 --> 00:39:47,520 Let it fly. 686 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,500 Here comes the first disaster. 687 00:40:17,580 --> 00:40:19,160 You don't know it all old man. 688 00:40:23,330 --> 00:40:24,350 To Aurora! 689 00:40:24,930 --> 00:40:25,930 Aurora! 690 00:40:28,290 --> 00:40:34,810 What you said 691 00:40:34,810 --> 00:40:36,010 was amazing. 692 00:40:36,610 --> 00:40:37,750 It's just stuff. 693 00:40:38,730 --> 00:40:40,050 My best man speech. 694 00:40:40,470 --> 00:40:43,370 I see you in a whole different light. 695 00:40:45,350 --> 00:40:46,350 Spiritual. 696 00:40:59,220 --> 00:41:00,220 Whoa. 697 00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:08,780 Some chicks put some off. 698 00:41:10,540 --> 00:41:14,080 No. You inspire me. 699 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:20,160 Hello. 700 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:22,400 Hey, Mrs. Hey, 701 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:24,840 Cheryl. Okay. 702 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:07,700 Scorch mark on the lawn. 703 00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:09,520 Oh, and I got your lawyer. 704 00:42:10,020 --> 00:42:11,020 What, out of wake? 705 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,020 No end to my powers. 706 00:42:14,740 --> 00:42:16,520 Think you could use your powers over the phone? 707 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:17,920 Play your cards right. 708 00:42:18,380 --> 00:42:19,440 Not just my cards. 709 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:22,360 Shit. 710 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:23,760 Yeah, I gotta go. 711 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,860 There's a very big guy who wants to use the phone. 712 00:42:26,820 --> 00:42:27,820 I love you. 713 00:42:27,860 --> 00:42:28,860 I love you too. 714 00:42:29,720 --> 00:42:30,720 Hi! 715 00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:34,460 Well, this is just great, isn't it? 716 00:42:34,780 --> 00:42:35,780 I guess it is. 717 00:42:35,950 --> 00:42:39,650 and spend hours being sniffed by beagles and customs people and treated like I'm 718 00:42:39,650 --> 00:42:43,730 some kind of terrorist just because I had a mango in my bag. One tiny little 719 00:42:43,730 --> 00:42:47,210 mango. And then no one's there to meet me and it's like a million dollars to 720 00:42:47,210 --> 00:42:49,810 to cabs. So I try calling all your phones and they're all switched off. 721 00:42:50,250 --> 00:42:51,650 And now I see why you didn't care. 722 00:42:52,190 --> 00:42:55,970 My own mother is too busy getting red -ass at some big piss -up and it's not 723 00:42:55,970 --> 00:42:56,970 even anyone's birthday. 724 00:43:37,580 --> 00:43:38,580 That'll be a punishment. 725 00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:39,960 Won't end here, Sonny Jim. 726 00:44:26,670 --> 00:44:29,950 This program was made with funding from New Zealand on Air. 50029

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