All language subtitles for Outrageous Fortune s03e04 Contagious Blastments
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1
00:00:06,110 --> 00:00:10,230
Aurora! Do you love me? Do you marry me?
2
00:00:10,990 --> 00:00:11,990
Don't you?
3
00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:20,150
How do you know that?
4
00:00:20,490 --> 00:00:21,490
Don't know, do you?
5
00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:22,750
You don't?
6
00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:40,600
What do you want? We're here to help
with the funeral arrangements.
7
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,360
Damn you and your family. We just want
to help in any way we can. Haven't you
8
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,360
done enough?
9
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,740
Isn't it enough that your son killed my
beautiful girl?
10
00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:52,940
It was a bastard that killed your
daughter. He may as well have been
11
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:57,020
May as well have pulled a trigger.
Bullshit. He called the cops on Tyson.
12
00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:02,300
Piss off. That's why she was riding that
bike. Because of him, your bastard son.
13
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:06,880
Because he called the cops. Stan
wouldn't do that. He did it. He did.
14
00:01:07,450 --> 00:01:11,970
I know, because she told me. I know,
because the cops were raiding my place
15
00:01:11,970 --> 00:01:15,310
o 'clock in the morning. I can't tell
the truth. What? Look, I'm here for me
16
00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:18,850
my family because we want to come to
Aurora's funeral. Well, fuck you, Cheryl
17
00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:21,850
West. Hey, get your ass out of here,
shitbag.
18
00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:23,050
Look, I loved Aurora.
19
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:24,710
We all did.
20
00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:27,390
And no one's going to stop us paying our
respects.
21
00:01:27,730 --> 00:01:28,730
It's a private service.
22
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,370
You won't get no details from me.
23
00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:34,430
And if you do turn up, you'll bloody pay
for it.
24
00:01:35,510 --> 00:01:36,510
Look forward to it.
25
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,560
Say it.
26
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,920
Stairway is the best song.
27
00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:18,860
Stairway.
28
00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:22,820
Stairway is... Ow!
29
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,140
A way too long song.
30
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,660
It's what DJs play when they want to go
for a grip.
31
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,160
You can't slag my song.
32
00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,780
You said that my song was a dumber.
33
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,000
Yeah, that's because it is.
34
00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:35,660
Stairway's a real song.
35
00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:37,300
It's the mother of all songs.
36
00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:39,400
It's the song I want at my funeral.
37
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:41,280
Really? Yeah.
38
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:47,540
Because, you know, it's about heaven and
how you get there and shit.
39
00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:54,140
You think that heaven adapts him to
death?
40
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,160
He might be there.
41
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,720
It's really hot in heaven.
42
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:04,240
It's kind of wet too.
43
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,340
You'd better come in there, don't you
think?
44
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,660
Oh, joy.
45
00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:29,080
Your mum says you can have the beer, but
only with the toast.
46
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,180
It's not real, man.
47
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,120
It's whole grain, with Vegemite.
48
00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:37,310
Doesn't feel like she's gone.
49
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:40,650
Just doesn't.
50
00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:48,110
There's going to be a funeral, bro.
51
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:49,990
No proof of that.
52
00:03:50,570 --> 00:03:52,070
They put a notice in the paper.
53
00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:54,730
Wouldn't happen if she wasn't gone.
54
00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:56,310
I don't want to see that.
55
00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:59,450
You don't see dead people unless it's a
movie.
56
00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:01,930
What if they're hiding you?
57
00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:04,750
They could keep her away from me.
58
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,880
Maybe he can't even be without the
toast.
59
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:11,880
Oh, it's crap.
60
00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,860
Van wouldn't. We don't dob, ever.
61
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,940
Why don't they? Because they don't.
Yeah, of course they don't. Well,
62
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:18,579
must have.
63
00:04:18,579 --> 00:04:22,160
Well, it wasn't exactly a secret that
Tyson's place was a tinny hell. Nah,
64
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,039
have been anyone.
65
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,160
Yeah, well, Pam is not telling me that
my son is a narc.
66
00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:27,660
And nobody's going to stop him from
going to that funeral.
67
00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:30,560
Well, you don't even believe she's dead.
68
00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:33,840
What? Well, you didn't see it. You don't
believe it.
69
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:35,500
God,
70
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,420
wacko. It can be hard.
71
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,080
I nipped out to check the 325 at
Trenton. When I come back, Rita was
72
00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:45,340
It wasn't until I saw her laid out that
I knew she wasn't kidding.
73
00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:48,500
OK, so we take him to see her.
74
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,300
What?
75
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,280
He sees her on the slab. He knows she's
dead.
76
00:04:54,020 --> 00:04:57,880
You can't just crash some funeral home,
even if we did know where she was. He's
77
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,080
her fiancé. He's got the right. He's not
at... He's not in Exit Ken.
78
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:06,130
Not legally, Grandpa. I'll trust you to
go all Justice -type butt on it. Can you
79
00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:09,230
seriously break into a funeral home?
It's this strange foreign concept called
80
00:05:09,230 --> 00:05:12,190
being loyal. Like you give a shit! You
might not have to break in.
81
00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:15,610
What? I could maybe find her.
82
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:18,530
If that's what you guys want.
83
00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:21,730
Hey,
84
00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:26,010
my darling.
85
00:05:35,340 --> 00:05:36,580
I've got to go out for a bit.
86
00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:38,440
I've got some news.
87
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,400
You can go see Aurora.
88
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,440
You found her?
89
00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:46,740
Hayden did.
90
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,500
She only knows him.
91
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:54,920
Well, Hayden runs old folks' homes.
92
00:05:55,600 --> 00:06:00,580
You know, and he has certain connections
with other businesses.
93
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,160
Undertakers.
94
00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:05,750
That's where she's hiding.
95
00:06:07,290 --> 00:06:08,970
Then she's not.
96
00:06:10,510 --> 00:06:11,510
Undertakers.
97
00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:15,310
That's a good place to hide.
98
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,610
Thanks, mate.
99
00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:21,490
Okay, it's a call with Terry. Just don't
be too long.
100
00:06:22,770 --> 00:06:24,090
It's down there. It's the second on the
right.
101
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,550
And no weird stuff, okay?
102
00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:26,610
I used to think heaven would be real
boring because of all the angels and
103
00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:30,490
Oh, that's way more fun.
104
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:37,210
See, I reckon that it's like Asgard.
105
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:38,590
Yeah.
106
00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:41,650
Is that in the South Island?
107
00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:44,730
It's wherever you want it to be.
108
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,590
Anyway.
109
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,300
You're not gonna die.
110
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,800
Because I'm not gonna leave you.
111
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,000
Hey.
112
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,420
You gotta know.
113
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:04,420
I didn't mean it.
114
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,480
Aurora.
115
00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:09,180
None of it.
116
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:14,380
Tell me you know.
117
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,620
Tell me you know.
118
00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:22,470
Aurora. Aurora!
119
00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,050
Tell me you fucking know!
120
00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:26,790
Aurora!
121
00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:28,390
What are you doing to me?
122
00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:29,830
Nothing.
123
00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,270
She's dead, man.
124
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,669
Yeah. She is.
125
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:49,490
Shit. What a bastard.
126
00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:52,290
I wish I could... Yeah, I know.
127
00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,310
I shouldn't even be in this place. Not
now.
128
00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:01,290
These are the cops that... What?
129
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:13,790
She... She says you punched her.
130
00:09:15,290 --> 00:09:16,290
Lying tart.
131
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:18,390
I'll bloody punch Monica if I get the
chance.
132
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,820
My lawyer's going to call you about
going over your statement. Martin, yeah.
133
00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:24,860
Any good?
134
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,180
He's off the list, he'll do.
135
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,399
What does that mean?
136
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,840
It means I can't afford top draw for a
minor charge.
137
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,720
It's not minor if it's keeping you in
here, is it? Sure, I've got a lawyer.
138
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,780
quite like to keep him for two minutes.
Well, I don't shout at him or anything.
139
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,200
Swearing?
140
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:41,800
Hell no.
141
00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:44,880
God, I miss you.
142
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,440
Not for much longer.
143
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:50,670
I'm 25.
144
00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:52,850
You must get asked in pubs all the time.
145
00:09:53,290 --> 00:09:55,130
Yeah, I do take ID with me.
146
00:09:55,910 --> 00:09:56,910
Previous court experience?
147
00:09:57,410 --> 00:09:58,389
A bit.
148
00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,390
Mostly traffic.
149
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,570
Conversion, careless use, DRC?
150
00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:05,250
You do seem to know the technical terms.
I've got four kids. What was your last
151
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:07,290
case? A stationary vehicle.
152
00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:08,550
It was quite a tricky one.
153
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:10,690
Park it.
154
00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:15,030
With respect, you're a witness, so if we
can just run through your statement,
155
00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:16,050
then I can get on with it.
156
00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:17,770
Well, Monica...
157
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:21,140
Is it lying? How?
158
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,300
That. For the court to decide.
159
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,140
And how are they going to work it when
her copmates back her up? This is
160
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:29,180
harassment. This is misuse of police
power.
161
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,980
I don't think that's an argument I'll be
running.
162
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,240
Why the hell not?
163
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:37,400
Well, technically, an assault did take
place. Which means he's guilty.
164
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,740
We'll argue it, of course.
165
00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:40,340
I'm keen to it. There's ground.
166
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,580
You think this is a loser.
167
00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:44,000
There's always a plea of mitigation.
168
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,179
Plenty there.
169
00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:48,720
No previous convictions. Long service.
No, you're off the case with him now.
170
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,500
You can't do that. I can, and if you
don't believe me, I will give you a full
171
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,860
rundown on the meaning of the word
assault. Are you threatening me? Are you
172
00:10:55,860 --> 00:11:00,040
sick? A plea in mitigation means that he
is still inside. That is not what we're
173
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:01,040
hiring you for.
174
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,640
Loretta.
175
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,180
I'd like to speak to my client. Say what
you like. You're off the case. What is
176
00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:06,180
it, hun?
177
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,640
Honestly?
178
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,620
She's such a lovely person, but she's
got a lot going on.
179
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:11,819
A funeral.
180
00:11:11,820 --> 00:11:12,820
With drugs.
181
00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:16,160
UPNs. Gangs. The whole heap of shit.
It's so not her fault.
182
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:17,460
Okay, I'm on my way.
183
00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:25,770
Okay, we've got a private service at the
funeral home at 2pm. Okay, that's where
184
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:26,770
we'll be then.
185
00:11:27,130 --> 00:11:29,950
Hang on, hang on. Back up here. You're
going to crash a funeral.
186
00:11:30,570 --> 00:11:34,190
Yeah? No, no. Terry's been really good.
He doesn't need all that aggro. You
187
00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:36,630
always were a pussy when you weren't a
Nazi.
188
00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:38,430
Well, what happens after that?
189
00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:41,910
Interment, Y committee at 3. It's
private security guards.
190
00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:43,350
Okay, we'll go there.
191
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,570
What's interment?
192
00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:50,550
It's the bit, you know, when they put
the coffin in the ground.
193
00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:54,730
Well, they're burying her in a coffin.
194
00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:58,190
Yeah, it kind of goes with the
internment territory.
195
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,110
No, they can't. They can.
196
00:12:01,390 --> 00:12:04,790
No, no. We shut her in. She hates that.
197
00:12:05,050 --> 00:12:11,450
And then worms will come, and then her
flesh will rot. Well, that's what
198
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:12,089
with bodies.
199
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:16,050
Van, it's a natural process. It's like
compost, and Aurora was really into
200
00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,230
compost and recycling.
201
00:12:17,930 --> 00:12:18,629
No way.
202
00:12:18,630 --> 00:12:21,610
No, she was. Remember, she used to make
us put bottles out. They can't do this.
203
00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:23,090
You've got to stop them.
204
00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:25,670
You.
205
00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:27,210
You know the guy, the funeral guy.
206
00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:30,010
You've got to talk to him. There's a
limit to what I can do. You're useless!
207
00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:34,190
Got that right. Mate. You don't get it.
None of you fucking get it. Van.
208
00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:38,510
He'd like it.
209
00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:40,430
We'll have to take care of it then,
won't we?
210
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:45,870
You're not seeming all that friendly.
211
00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:49,020
Get a good eye, fool, and sit on that.
212
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,160
Gee. Wasn't that who called the cops on
that piece of gobshine?
213
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:53,560
Wasn't my grandson.
214
00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:55,280
I'd like to know who did do it.
215
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,900
My deep condolences, Ted, very deep, to
you and your family.
216
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:04,180
Thanks. The drugs, they're very bad for
our kids, huh?
217
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:09,460
And my nephews, the ones who work for
me, all the time whacked off their heads
218
00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:11,280
because of those Tyson -type drug
dealers.
219
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:12,720
You told them?
220
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,220
I ain't talking about my lazy families
or the police.
221
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,440
Someone told.
222
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:18,220
But it won't stop us having a funeral.
223
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:20,280
Well, if you need anything, just let me
know.
224
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:25,700
And because of my sympathy, Mrs. Fulani
will make a big pot of chop suey.
225
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,340
Because I tell her to.
226
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:28,880
Your nephews, are they big?
227
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,720
Enormous, working out all the time.
228
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:31,960
Could be handy, then.
229
00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:34,639
Who's that?
230
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,660
Me. Let me go see what he wants.
231
00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:38,940
You better.
232
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:51,580
Kappa!
233
00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:53,580
I just need a pen, that's all.
234
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:01,520
What for?
235
00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:03,980
Some stuff I gotta do.
236
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:05,340
For Aurora.
237
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,320
Can't do it on my own.
238
00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:20,310
Want to do a bit of fishing?
239
00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:22,090
Why would she want me to go fishing?
240
00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:25,810
Hey, that's a good one.
241
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:29,110
This one.
242
00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:32,950
It's a dunga. No, I'm not going out in
that piece of shit even for a roarer.
243
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,090
You don't have to.
244
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:45,230
Then why do we need all this shit?
245
00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:46,610
Because we do.
246
00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:50,310
Fuck, we've been in there a parking lot
or something. I'm just going to do this!
247
00:14:52,130 --> 00:14:53,270
The way she wanted it.
248
00:14:54,030 --> 00:14:55,030
Okay?
249
00:14:55,690 --> 00:14:56,690
Okay.
250
00:15:00,050 --> 00:15:01,250
It ain't cool, man.
251
00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:02,269
No sweat.
252
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:05,010
Yeah, only because no one's dumb enough
to break into a place full of dead
253
00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:07,290
people. Make some email and get off on
them.
254
00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:10,090
You ain't done it. What?
255
00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:26,240
No, I don't wanna it's for her you want
me to do this you gonna tell me what the
256
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:32,340
fuck's going on Okay
257
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:40,780
She
258
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:47,720
had this thing about how it should be
I'd make it so you're like the princess
259
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,020
in the story. You've got the glass
coffin.
260
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,460
So the dwarves could be perving at her.
261
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:54,379
No way.
262
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,240
Not me. Why not? You're as hot as her.
263
00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:58,320
A cubby in a coffin.
264
00:15:58,620 --> 00:15:59,980
Or shut up in the ground.
265
00:16:00,780 --> 00:16:03,160
Now it's like with the wedding, you
know.
266
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,740
The air and the trees.
267
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:08,560
It's like the Vikings.
268
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,700
What about them again?
269
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,940
They didn't have churches. They just...
270
00:16:15,230 --> 00:16:16,710
Did their thing out in the air.
271
00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:19,790
What if it rained?
272
00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:21,090
They didn't care.
273
00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:24,650
They just had to be open to nature.
274
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:30,750
You know, sailing off to Asgard, their
spirits floating with the flames.
275
00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:33,670
You see?
276
00:16:35,170 --> 00:16:36,390
No walls, man.
277
00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:38,230
She can't be in no box.
278
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:54,370
You've got to help me get her out. I
can't touch you. She's not some vampire.
279
00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:58,670
It's tapu. So you're not into that shit.
It doesn't matter if you're into it.
280
00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:00,790
It'll still bite you on the ass. Then
I'll get bit as well.
281
00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:02,030
But you're not Maori.
282
00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:04,409
That's racist.
283
00:17:04,410 --> 00:17:07,589
No, it's not. If there's an ass -biting
rule, it should be one bite for
284
00:17:07,589 --> 00:17:10,329
everyone. Look, I'm not touching a dead
body, okay? Don't!
285
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:16,089
Okay, just help me lift it.
286
00:17:17,589 --> 00:17:18,589
Please, bro.
287
00:17:20,589 --> 00:17:21,630
You're my best man.
288
00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:24,089
Doesn't that mean shit to you?
289
00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:35,850
Whoever told those cops
290
00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:36,850
he'll suffer for it.
291
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:39,190
What if it was then?
292
00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:42,230
He wouldn't. We're never dogged. They
know the consequences.
293
00:17:42,810 --> 00:17:44,130
Isn't it just a story?
294
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:46,990
A curse is not a story.
295
00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:48,330
Yeah, yeah.
296
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:50,030
Crushed by the coal truck.
297
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:54,920
Married to the Irish pofter, withered
from polio, so poor they ate the glaze
298
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:59,720
the plates, all because someone dobbed.
Oh, and great -uncle Luther got 10 to 20
299
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:00,920
for the Reefton post office.
300
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,200
You took it all in.
301
00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:06,280
Grandpa, other people got bedtime
stories like Goldilocks and Peter
302
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,200
We got the curse of the West.
303
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,500
Peter Rabbit didn't end well either.
304
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,500
Mum, you can't just buy someone off with
a lawyer.
305
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:14,980
Well, he wasn't a lawyer, he was a
butthole.
306
00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:18,170
I need someone who can win this. Well,
that's at the Judd. Yeah, it would suit
307
00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:20,490
you just fine if he stayed inside,
wouldn't it? What's the point?
308
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:22,450
Look, you must know someone.
309
00:18:23,210 --> 00:18:24,210
Maybe.
310
00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:26,310
Someone who can kick legal ass.
311
00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:30,390
Look, Mum, get real.
312
00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:32,610
All right? The big guns, they're
expensive.
313
00:18:32,890 --> 00:18:34,050
Out of your league. I don't care.
314
00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:36,250
Am I interrupting?
315
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:38,930
No. No, no, Mum was just leaving.
316
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:40,990
A couple of names.
317
00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:42,190
That's all I need.
318
00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,610
Cheryl West, I presume.
319
00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:49,670
It must be Gary, the builder.
320
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:51,290
Yeah, he's done a job or two.
321
00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:52,510
Right, yeah.
322
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:55,030
Excuse me.
323
00:18:56,030 --> 00:18:57,550
Oh, come on. One second.
324
00:18:59,950 --> 00:19:00,950
How's that?
325
00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:03,870
He's gone off with Munter, I hope.
326
00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:07,050
All right, well, I'll see you tomorrow.
327
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,910
OK. 3pm, white committee. Don't wear
anything you don't want ruined.
328
00:19:10,570 --> 00:19:12,310
OK. Nice to meet you, Gary.
329
00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:13,650
Likewise.
330
00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,910
You're at the top of it already, so do
it.
331
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:53,130
I don't get it, this fucking shit.
332
00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:54,790
She liked them.
333
00:19:55,090 --> 00:19:56,090
She liked them.
334
00:19:56,290 --> 00:19:58,770
Why? Because they were like heavy metal?
Because of her beliefs.
335
00:19:59,650 --> 00:20:01,050
She knew heaps about that.
336
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:03,790
Even though she didn't get the course,
see?
337
00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:06,870
She knew heaps about lots of stuff.
338
00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:12,210
They put their dead on the boat and they
set them on fire.
339
00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:16,290
But they light them at sunset.
340
00:20:16,510 --> 00:20:22,990
And then if the flames match the sunset,
it meant that person had led a good
341
00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:25,670
life. That wouldn't be a problem for
you.
342
00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:27,390
Can I watch this?
343
00:20:29,950 --> 00:20:30,950
It's my song.
344
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:32,569
Is it?
345
00:20:32,570 --> 00:20:33,570
Yeah.
346
00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:38,850
I'm still a piece of shit. No, you liked
it just then. No, I didn't. Yes, you
347
00:20:38,850 --> 00:20:40,650
did. I didn't. You did.
348
00:20:42,210 --> 00:20:43,210
I didn't.
349
00:20:44,350 --> 00:20:45,350
Yes, you did.
350
00:20:55,090 --> 00:20:56,190
Should have been sunset.
351
00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:58,470
Bet you Vikings have bigger boats.
352
00:20:58,670 --> 00:20:59,670
You don't know.
353
00:20:59,690 --> 00:21:00,750
It's not enough wood.
354
00:21:01,210 --> 00:21:01,969
I've got petrol.
355
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,550
It's going to take a lot of heat, you
know, even with a side of pork or a real
356
00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:07,090
big roast on a outdoor barbie. It takes
a lot to cook it.
357
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:08,350
She's not a barbie.
358
00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:10,330
Yeah, I know, and you're going to burn
her.
359
00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:13,050
But you ain't no Viking, and this ain't
no Viking funeral.
360
00:21:13,310 --> 00:21:14,310
Doing what she wanted.
361
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:15,730
Yeah, so you keep fucking saying.
362
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:17,130
What she wanted.
363
00:21:17,530 --> 00:21:19,210
What she wanted was not to be dead.
364
00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:28,710
What is it? What is it?
365
00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,210
That's not her, it's some old brown
dude.
366
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:39,110
It was the same room.
367
00:21:39,350 --> 00:21:40,670
We stole the wrong fucking body.
368
00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:43,510
It was the same room. I was talking to
the lady and now I'm screwed.
369
00:21:44,150 --> 00:21:45,150
It's okay.
370
00:21:46,650 --> 00:21:47,529
It's okay.
371
00:21:47,530 --> 00:21:49,430
How can you say anything's okay? It's
okay.
372
00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:51,950
We put him back.
373
00:21:52,170 --> 00:21:54,010
We put him back exactly where we found
him.
374
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:55,530
We've got to get her off.
375
00:21:55,810 --> 00:21:58,870
Nah, nah, enough, man. I'm not being a
nobody, not for you, not for anyone.
376
00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:00,070
I have to!
377
00:22:01,210 --> 00:22:02,550
I've got to make up for what I did.
378
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,440
It was you who called the cops, wasn't
it? So what if I did?
379
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,560
Well, if you're so proud, why don't you
tell no one? Piss off.
380
00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:14,600
Look, just don't make it right.
381
00:22:14,860 --> 00:22:16,380
Just don't make it better.
382
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:20,040
Just don't stop me from being a dickhead
who took something good and stamped it
383
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,040
into nothing.
384
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:23,140
Fuck you!
385
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:44,770
Have you let him break in here and do
this?
386
00:22:44,970 --> 00:22:47,070
I've got to clean up, man. Do some
thinking. What?
387
00:22:47,590 --> 00:22:48,549
Oh, yeah, great.
388
00:22:48,550 --> 00:22:50,310
Bye. Have a lovely wash.
389
00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:53,290
Your bloody brother.
390
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,610
I went on a limb with Terry and he does
this.
391
00:22:55,870 --> 00:22:56,729
He's upset.
392
00:22:56,730 --> 00:22:58,870
He's deranged more like it, as well as
mental.
393
00:22:59,110 --> 00:23:00,110
And he's an idiot.
394
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:03,130
He's not an idiot. Oh, you call him that
all the time. Yeah, he's my brother,
395
00:23:03,190 --> 00:23:06,310
but you don't call him that ever. Not
this again. This West Coast, a fucking
396
00:23:06,310 --> 00:23:08,110
honour! And what are we going to do
tomorrow?
397
00:23:08,570 --> 00:23:09,570
Oh, yeah, that's right, great.
398
00:23:09,610 --> 00:23:10,830
We're going to crash a gang funeral.
399
00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:12,180
Yeah, is that what you think?
400
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,360
It's a disaster waiting to happen. Well,
if that's the way you feel, you don't
401
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,279
have to come.
402
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,580
You can just piss off.
403
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:29,340
Hello. Hi.
404
00:23:30,140 --> 00:23:31,780
I just got a message from my lawyer.
405
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:33,700
That is my ex -lawyer.
406
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,340
Threats of violence, apparently.
407
00:23:35,940 --> 00:23:38,360
Well, you're better off without him. We
need someone better.
408
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:39,640
Jesus, Cheryl.
409
00:23:39,930 --> 00:23:43,050
Is this something you've got against the
entire legal profession, or just the
410
00:23:43,050 --> 00:23:45,830
ones that work for me? No, I'll get you
a lawyer, a proper one.
411
00:23:46,530 --> 00:23:51,850
Cheryl? No, listen, I need you out. I
want you out, so I can't have maybe...
412
00:23:51,850 --> 00:23:55,510
know, if you're in someone's corner,
it's not half -assed. You back them up
413
00:23:55,510 --> 00:23:56,510
the way.
414
00:23:58,050 --> 00:23:59,050
Okay.
415
00:23:59,930 --> 00:24:00,930
How's Van?
416
00:24:02,830 --> 00:24:03,830
Not too good.
417
00:24:03,970 --> 00:24:04,970
Shit.
418
00:24:06,970 --> 00:24:07,990
Well, you have a good day, okay?
419
00:24:09,070 --> 00:24:10,530
And don't get into too much trouble.
420
00:24:11,530 --> 00:24:12,690
I never have to.
421
00:24:15,230 --> 00:24:16,270
Where's your fancy man?
422
00:24:17,090 --> 00:24:18,090
Not coming.
423
00:24:18,230 --> 00:24:20,170
You know where your friends are when the
chips are down.
424
00:24:20,530 --> 00:24:22,470
Can you get Van up? We've got to get
organized.
425
00:24:22,850 --> 00:24:23,850
Hi, doll.
426
00:24:25,350 --> 00:24:26,350
Ted gave me birth.
427
00:24:26,530 --> 00:24:27,790
Great. I'm prepared.
428
00:24:28,110 --> 00:24:29,810
We'll knock a few bikies for six.
429
00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:33,150
Ted, we just want to get in there. We
don't want to do any damage.
430
00:24:33,590 --> 00:24:34,389
You think so?
431
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:36,230
After what they said about me and my
grandson?
432
00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:38,230
Van's not in his room. He's not here.
433
00:24:38,730 --> 00:24:39,730
What, was he in the bathroom?
434
00:24:39,890 --> 00:24:41,590
I don't think he came home last night.
435
00:24:43,350 --> 00:24:44,350
Oh.
436
00:24:44,670 --> 00:24:48,510
Um, OK, I'll text Munter. I don't think
that's going to help.
437
00:25:07,030 --> 00:25:08,030
Hey.
438
00:25:10,730 --> 00:25:11,730
Hey, bro.
439
00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:14,970
It's just me.
440
00:25:15,690 --> 00:25:18,510
I didn't know where else to go, alright?
441
00:25:18,930 --> 00:25:20,690
However, it's alright.
442
00:25:21,550 --> 00:25:22,770
Really, it's fine.
443
00:25:29,290 --> 00:25:30,590
You want this?
444
00:25:38,230 --> 00:25:39,270
We should, uh...
445
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,460
Get you home, eh? Get you cleaned up.
446
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,000
I'll drive you. I can't go home, Jed. I
did it.
447
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,240
Did what?
448
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,440
I dubbed him.
449
00:25:50,660 --> 00:25:51,940
Tyson. To the cops.
450
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:57,880
There was this shit in my head and I had
to get him.
451
00:25:59,340 --> 00:26:00,340
I told her.
452
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:02,520
She went there.
453
00:26:04,820 --> 00:26:08,060
She must have dreaded taking a day in
this wash.
454
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:14,620
You hate me.
455
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,960
What? Just leave me alone.
456
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:18,360
Okay.
457
00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:32,540
I don't hate you, Ben.
458
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,160
I can't go home.
459
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,760
He didn't.
460
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:46,880
He wouldn't.
461
00:26:47,180 --> 00:26:48,180
He did.
462
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:49,580
It could have been Filani.
463
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,520
Anyone. It wasn't. Oh, shit.
464
00:26:53,420 --> 00:26:55,200
Van doesn't want to come home because of
it.
465
00:26:56,180 --> 00:27:00,420
I've told him that's a heap of crap. My
oath it is. Grandpa. He's a dobber. Done
466
00:27:00,420 --> 00:27:02,360
his chips. He won't come back into this
house.
467
00:27:02,570 --> 00:27:03,209
Not ever.
468
00:27:03,210 --> 00:27:06,210
Oh, yeah, and who was the last family
member who dobbed to the cops? It was
469
00:27:06,210 --> 00:27:09,230
precious warfare. Didn't see you kicking
him out. Didn't come back here, did he?
470
00:27:09,290 --> 00:27:11,210
He went inside, took his punishment.
471
00:27:11,510 --> 00:27:14,550
Jesus, Ted. And he was defending what
was his, what was right. And what makes
472
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:15,550
you think Van wasn't?
473
00:27:16,070 --> 00:27:17,310
Aurora wasn't on with Tyson.
474
00:27:17,550 --> 00:27:20,030
What, you ran their checking, were you?
She was a lovely girl, like an angel.
475
00:27:20,250 --> 00:27:21,650
Oh, God, you can be blind sometimes.
476
00:27:22,050 --> 00:27:23,210
You know all about it.
477
00:27:23,470 --> 00:27:26,750
Adultery and bloody knickers. Oh, shut
up, Ted. Are we going to the funeral?
478
00:27:26,950 --> 00:27:28,110
No, I've got to sort this first.
479
00:27:28,410 --> 00:27:29,590
No. No.
480
00:27:30,530 --> 00:27:31,530
No, I'll manage.
481
00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:47,760
You've got a bloody nerve. My son, he
did call the cops.
482
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,120
But he had a reason for it.
483
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,900
He thought that you had a thing for his
girl, that you wanted her back.
484
00:27:55,180 --> 00:27:56,180
Maybe. Maybe.
485
00:27:56,580 --> 00:28:00,220
Maybe not is what I need to know. You
leave him alone. You had her with you
486
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:03,420
every day, looking after your every
need. You're telling me you didn't try
487
00:28:03,420 --> 00:28:05,400
with her? You get out of here. Were you
on with her?
488
00:28:06,060 --> 00:28:07,120
You've got to tell me.
489
00:28:07,660 --> 00:28:11,200
I know that she cared about you. She
cared about you a great deal because she
490
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:12,400
told me. She wouldn't.
491
00:28:13,180 --> 00:28:14,640
She wouldn't.
492
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:20,700
And I tried to tell her how I'd treat
her good, but she only wanted him
493
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,620
And this is how he fucking repays her.
494
00:28:23,860 --> 00:28:25,780
Well, he wasn't dealing drugs, was he?
495
00:28:26,260 --> 00:28:31,160
And he didn't make her get on that bike,
did he? You did, to save your precious
496
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:32,340
fucking stash.
497
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,100
And at five o 'clock in the morning when
the cops raided your place, you were in
498
00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:37,200
the clear because of that, weren't you?
499
00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:45,800
Make you feel better, doesn't it?
Blaming him?
500
00:28:46,220 --> 00:28:47,220
No, it doesn't.
501
00:28:52,780 --> 00:28:53,780
I'm sorry.
502
00:28:55,220 --> 00:28:57,440
I'm sorry for Van's part in this.
503
00:28:58,400 --> 00:28:59,400
Any of this.
504
00:29:00,180 --> 00:29:01,180
I'm sorry.
505
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,180
feel for you and your loss.
506
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,420
Because no one should ever have to lose
a child.
507
00:29:10,060 --> 00:29:11,060
Not in any way.
508
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,460
And we won't be bothering you at the
funeral today.
509
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:24,840
Come home, love.
510
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:26,480
Come on.
511
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,880
Van, do you believe the ramblings of a
superstitious old man?
512
00:29:31,420 --> 00:29:32,420
He's right.
513
00:29:34,010 --> 00:29:35,470
Van, you did what you did.
514
00:29:36,050 --> 00:29:37,410
But it was an accident.
515
00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:39,410
It was.
516
00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:42,330
And now you've got to come home and
front up.
517
00:29:43,690 --> 00:29:44,910
It'd be bad if I do.
518
00:29:45,930 --> 00:29:46,970
It'd be worse if you don't.
519
00:29:53,730 --> 00:29:54,810
And I'm your mother.
520
00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:57,910
So you do what I tell you. Come on, get
up.
521
00:29:58,250 --> 00:29:59,250
Come on.
522
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:11,440
Say a bloody word.
523
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:12,780
I don't talk to the Dame.
524
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,720
I've made tea and coffee.
525
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,000
And tea and coffee.
526
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:25,180
Loretta, can you get down to the
supermarket?
527
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,640
And, uh, somebody, phone Munter.
528
00:30:28,900 --> 00:30:29,900
Text him.
529
00:30:30,140 --> 00:30:32,920
He turned his phone off. Well, he was
going to think. Where?
530
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,680
In his thinking spot, you know.
531
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:46,160
Hey, Casey.
532
00:30:47,020 --> 00:30:48,720
I got a message from Cheryl.
533
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:49,440
This
534
00:30:49,440 --> 00:31:01,580
is
535
00:31:01,580 --> 00:31:05,280
what you think?
536
00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:06,820
Sometimes.
537
00:31:07,140 --> 00:31:08,200
It's okay that I'm here?
538
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:10,440
Sure.
539
00:31:10,860 --> 00:31:12,220
It's a real nice spot for thinking.
540
00:31:14,590 --> 00:31:15,590
Do you know any karakia?
541
00:31:17,350 --> 00:31:18,510
That's a prayer, not a band.
542
00:31:18,890 --> 00:31:19,890
Yeah.
543
00:31:21,190 --> 00:31:27,910
Our Father, which art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
544
00:31:30,810 --> 00:31:31,810
That do?
545
00:31:32,450 --> 00:31:33,450
Cheers.
546
00:31:36,910 --> 00:31:38,050
Cheryl wants you home.
547
00:31:38,250 --> 00:31:39,830
I can't go to the police right now.
548
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,280
What, you two?
549
00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:44,860
I saw how he was going all crazy and
jealous, and then he called me gay.
550
00:31:45,180 --> 00:31:46,039
Are you gay?
551
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,600
Of course not. He said it to piss me
off.
552
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,880
But if I'd stopped him, you know, just
followed him and stopped him. Oh, look.
553
00:31:51,980 --> 00:31:54,160
You're the best mate a guy ever had, all
right.
554
00:31:55,060 --> 00:31:57,740
Yeah? I wish I had a friend like you.
555
00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,200
Yeah? Yeah.
556
00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:02,820
Cheryl says we've got to do a send -off
for Aurora at home.
557
00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:05,520
What happened to Waikumete?
558
00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:07,300
They know what they did.
559
00:32:09,580 --> 00:32:11,760
But Cheryl says we've got to make it
good for him anyways.
560
00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:15,900
Okay.
561
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,000
I might need a hand.
562
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,640
Oh, hi, gorgeous. This is so terrible.
563
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,200
Mum, I think something's burning.
564
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:26,560
What? Oh, hold on a minute.
565
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:35,020
Did I?
566
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:37,400
No.
567
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:39,740
What are you doing here?
568
00:32:39,940 --> 00:32:43,200
Well, I heard from Jethro there was a
bit of a wake. I wanted to pay my
569
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:44,200
respects.
570
00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:47,060
I didn't know that you even liked them
that much.
571
00:32:47,260 --> 00:32:49,120
He was honest, decent. They had wedding
plans.
572
00:32:49,540 --> 00:32:50,740
I admire that in a man.
573
00:32:51,420 --> 00:32:52,420
Yeah, yeah.
574
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,320
Can I slip these on for you? Yeah, the
barbie's out there. Thanks.
575
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:59,560
I found him.
576
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:01,020
I found him.
577
00:33:01,060 --> 00:33:03,240
Oh, Munter, am I glad to see you.
578
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:05,800
Hey.
579
00:33:06,180 --> 00:33:08,460
Okay, Munter, we've really got to pull
this together, okay?
580
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:11,720
I'm on the case, Mrs. West. Good, good.
581
00:33:16,220 --> 00:33:17,220
Hey, dude.
582
00:33:17,980 --> 00:33:19,180
Mum says you have to get ready.
583
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:44,699
Who's that?
584
00:33:44,700 --> 00:33:45,700
He's cute.
585
00:33:45,820 --> 00:33:47,060
It's a white crow shell.
586
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,460
So? We're grieving here.
587
00:33:50,260 --> 00:33:51,260
Really grieving.
588
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,100
Yeah, well, death's probably the number
one aphrodisiac. At least in my
589
00:33:55,100 --> 00:33:57,740
experience. That is so awful.
590
00:33:58,100 --> 00:33:59,540
Can I help it if it's true?
591
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:06,679
Sausage roll?
592
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:11,179
Oh, you should have some topsoy. It's
very good. Made by my wife after much
593
00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:12,179
complaining.
594
00:34:14,089 --> 00:34:15,870
You reject this fine chop suey?
595
00:34:18,570 --> 00:34:19,570
What happened to you?
596
00:34:19,590 --> 00:34:20,590
I could ask the same thing.
597
00:34:21,290 --> 00:34:22,290
3pm, Waikumete?
598
00:34:22,850 --> 00:34:24,230
Yeah, I'm the only bastard there.
599
00:34:25,310 --> 00:34:26,069
You went?
600
00:34:26,070 --> 00:34:27,590
Yep. Took a golf club as well.
601
00:34:29,290 --> 00:34:31,670
I still got done over by a big
motherfucker on the day.
602
00:34:31,989 --> 00:34:33,469
He seemed really happy to see me.
603
00:34:35,230 --> 00:34:36,949
It doesn't feel that bloody funny, I can
tell you.
604
00:34:37,270 --> 00:34:38,350
It was a change of plan.
605
00:34:40,070 --> 00:34:41,070
Fossil roll?
606
00:34:45,929 --> 00:34:47,469
You're such a bitch to like me, aren't
you?
607
00:34:53,670 --> 00:34:54,030
Go
608
00:34:54,030 --> 00:35:01,130
get
609
00:35:01,130 --> 00:35:02,790
your grandpa. Use force if you have to.
610
00:35:12,450 --> 00:35:15,030
If he's not punished, he'll bear the
fruit. We all will.
611
00:35:15,420 --> 00:35:18,100
Grandpa. There are rules for a reason.
Rules for torture.
612
00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:21,180
They're not like actual real life rules,
Grandpa.
613
00:35:21,540 --> 00:35:22,540
They're west rules.
614
00:35:22,820 --> 00:35:24,320
Never burgle on a full moon.
615
00:35:24,660 --> 00:35:25,419
It's light.
616
00:35:25,420 --> 00:35:26,299
You get seen.
617
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:28,840
Never hide money where a dog can find
it.
618
00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:31,780
If a dog can get it, any bugger with a
shovel can dig it up.
619
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,380
Don't drink absinthe, even on a full
stomach.
620
00:35:34,860 --> 00:35:37,060
Disgusting stuff. Makes you sick. I was
fine.
621
00:35:37,900 --> 00:35:40,500
He's bad luck from now on. That's a
fact. He's cursed.
622
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:41,840
Look.
623
00:35:46,220 --> 00:35:49,120
Some shit that happened in 1866.
624
00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:52,280
What? All that crap with the polio and
the poster.
625
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:54,960
That was my sister, 1957.
626
00:35:56,540 --> 00:35:57,540
You were there?
627
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:58,700
Too right I was.
628
00:35:59,620 --> 00:36:02,800
Um... You were the dobber.
629
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,400
You dobbed in your own uncle. How could
you do that?
630
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:07,680
He was a shit Luther.
631
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:08,800
Beat me, auntie.
632
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:09,880
Only owed me money.
633
00:36:10,740 --> 00:36:14,680
But he set the curse and it rained down
like shit from a cracked toilet.
634
00:36:15,779 --> 00:36:17,040
My own little sister.
635
00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:21,140
Polio, then knocked up to an Irish puked
her.
636
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,280
Well, too bad.
637
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,320
What? Too bad, Grandpa.
638
00:36:28,620 --> 00:36:31,940
You stand by your family or you're
nothing. You told me that.
639
00:36:33,340 --> 00:36:36,080
And if you don't come with me now, I
will use this to make you.
640
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,200
You know nothing about cricket.
641
00:36:43,260 --> 00:36:44,260
Sausage? What?
642
00:36:46,259 --> 00:36:47,660
Oh. Burn him like a pro.
643
00:36:47,980 --> 00:36:48,980
Yeah, thanks.
644
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:55,440
Look, I don't want to be inappropriate,
but I gather you could be needing a good
645
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:56,440
bloke right about now.
646
00:36:57,300 --> 00:36:58,300
A lawyer.
647
00:36:58,780 --> 00:37:00,820
You know what I fuck with? They're hard
to find, I know.
648
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:04,300
But here's your man. He's a pit bull in
a suit, wins them all and charges like a
649
00:37:04,300 --> 00:37:05,138
wounded one.
650
00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:07,300
But if you needed help with that, you
let me know.
651
00:37:07,620 --> 00:37:08,620
What? Cash.
652
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,520
And if you need any, I can probably
help. I couldn't... Look, I'd expect it
653
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:13,580
back, don't you worry. I'm not Santa.
654
00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,550
But, you know, there's no pressure on
the repayments.
655
00:37:17,770 --> 00:37:20,770
Well, you're very kind.
656
00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:22,010
No rush, Cheryl.
657
00:37:22,570 --> 00:37:23,950
You're plenty to deal with here.
658
00:37:24,310 --> 00:37:25,770
Yes, you think.
659
00:37:26,870 --> 00:37:28,450
Hey, would you excuse me?
660
00:37:33,530 --> 00:37:34,530
Hey.
661
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:59,220
Yeah, well, a while ago, Van asked me to
be his best man, so I've been thinking
662
00:37:59,220 --> 00:38:00,220
about that.
663
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,880
See, I've been around since Chris Amon
Primary, when Van first met Aurora.
664
00:38:06,460 --> 00:38:10,900
I was there the first time he pinged her
bra strap, and when they had their
665
00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:14,800
first pash, she had to keep a lookout so
Mrs. Wesley wouldn't catch them,
666
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,020
because she had, like, eyes in the back
of her head.
667
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,900
And, well, they kind of drifted apart
there for a while.
668
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:27,520
Then in Aurora, until the Hoochie Girl
contest, where Aurora, she come third,
669
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,780
which was a respectable placing given
the hotness of the chicks that night.
670
00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:33,700
But that was it.
671
00:38:34,340 --> 00:38:38,480
You know, for my best mate, that was the
woman he loved.
672
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,920
And he braved the freezer and the bikey
bastards to get that woman.
673
00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:45,880
That's how much he loved her.
674
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,540
And that's something that makes me feel
humble.
675
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:52,120
That love.
676
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,420
So I'd like you to charge your glasses.
677
00:39:01,180 --> 00:39:08,160
But yeah, Aurora, wherever she is, she
knows
678
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:14,160
how far Van was willing to go for her to
get her spirit to fly in a Viking way.
679
00:39:16,340 --> 00:39:17,680
So we're going to do that now.
680
00:39:18,180 --> 00:39:19,180
Lights a flame.
681
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,080
Because she was a choice chick, eh?
682
00:39:23,580 --> 00:39:24,580
The best.
683
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:36,480
We love you, man.
684
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:39,880
Just like we know you love dirt.
685
00:39:43,940 --> 00:39:47,520
Let it fly.
686
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,500
Here comes the first disaster.
687
00:40:17,580 --> 00:40:19,160
You don't know it all old man.
688
00:40:23,330 --> 00:40:24,350
To Aurora!
689
00:40:24,930 --> 00:40:25,930
Aurora!
690
00:40:28,290 --> 00:40:34,810
What you said
691
00:40:34,810 --> 00:40:36,010
was amazing.
692
00:40:36,610 --> 00:40:37,750
It's just stuff.
693
00:40:38,730 --> 00:40:40,050
My best man speech.
694
00:40:40,470 --> 00:40:43,370
I see you in a whole different light.
695
00:40:45,350 --> 00:40:46,350
Spiritual.
696
00:40:59,220 --> 00:41:00,220
Whoa.
697
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:08,780
Some chicks put some off.
698
00:41:10,540 --> 00:41:14,080
No. You inspire me.
699
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:20,160
Hello.
700
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:22,400
Hey, Mrs. Hey,
701
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:24,840
Cheryl. Okay.
702
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:07,700
Scorch mark on the lawn.
703
00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:09,520
Oh, and I got your lawyer.
704
00:42:10,020 --> 00:42:11,020
What, out of wake?
705
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,020
No end to my powers.
706
00:42:14,740 --> 00:42:16,520
Think you could use your powers over the
phone?
707
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:17,920
Play your cards right.
708
00:42:18,380 --> 00:42:19,440
Not just my cards.
709
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:22,360
Shit.
710
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:23,760
Yeah, I gotta go.
711
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,860
There's a very big guy who wants to use
the phone.
712
00:42:26,820 --> 00:42:27,820
I love you.
713
00:42:27,860 --> 00:42:28,860
I love you too.
714
00:42:29,720 --> 00:42:30,720
Hi!
715
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:34,460
Well, this is just great, isn't it?
716
00:42:34,780 --> 00:42:35,780
I guess it is.
717
00:42:35,950 --> 00:42:39,650
and spend hours being sniffed by beagles
and customs people and treated like I'm
718
00:42:39,650 --> 00:42:43,730
some kind of terrorist just because I
had a mango in my bag. One tiny little
719
00:42:43,730 --> 00:42:47,210
mango. And then no one's there to meet
me and it's like a million dollars to
720
00:42:47,210 --> 00:42:49,810
to cabs. So I try calling all your
phones and they're all switched off.
721
00:42:50,250 --> 00:42:51,650
And now I see why you didn't care.
722
00:42:52,190 --> 00:42:55,970
My own mother is too busy getting red
-ass at some big piss -up and it's not
723
00:42:55,970 --> 00:42:56,970
even anyone's birthday.
724
00:43:37,580 --> 00:43:38,580
That'll be a punishment.
725
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:39,960
Won't end here, Sonny Jim.
726
00:44:26,670 --> 00:44:29,950
This program was made with funding from
New Zealand on Air.
50029