Original subtitles

Aurora! Do you love me? Do you marry me?

Don't you?

How do you know that?

Don't know, do you?

You don't?

What do you want? We're here to help with the funeral arrangements.

Damn you and your family. We just want to help in any way we can. Haven't you

done enough?

Isn't it enough that your son killed my beautiful girl?

It was a bastard that killed your daughter. He may as well have been

May as well have pulled a trigger. Bullshit. He called the cops on Tyson.

Piss off. That's why she was riding that bike. Because of him, your bastard son.

Because he called the cops. Stan wouldn't do that. He did it. He did.

I know, because she told me. I know, because the cops were raiding my place

o 'clock in the morning. I can't tell the truth. What? Look, I'm here for me

my family because we want to come to Aurora's funeral. Well, fuck you, Cheryl

West. Hey, get your ass out of here, shitbag.

Look, I loved Aurora.

We all did.

And no one's going to stop us paying our respects.

It's a private service.

You won't get no details from me.

And if you do turn up, you'll bloody pay for it.

Look forward to it.

Say it.

Stairway is the best song.

Stairway.

Stairway is... Ow!

A way too long song.

It's what DJs play when they want to go for a grip.

You can't slag my song.

You said that my song was a dumber.

Yeah, that's because it is.

Stairway's a real song.

It's the mother of all songs.

It's the song I want at my funeral.

Really? Yeah.

Because, you know, it's about heaven and how you get there and shit.

You think that heaven adapts him to death?

He might be there.

It's really hot in heaven.

It's kind of wet too.

You'd better come in there, don't you think?

Oh, joy.

Your mum says you can have the beer, but only with the toast.

It's not real, man.

It's whole grain, with Vegemite.

Doesn't feel like she's gone.

Just doesn't.

There's going to be a funeral, bro.

No proof of that.

They put a notice in the paper.

Wouldn't happen if she wasn't gone.

I don't want to see that.

You don't see dead people unless it's a movie.

What if they're hiding you?

They could keep her away from me.

Maybe he can't even be without the toast.

Oh, it's crap.

Van wouldn't. We don't dob, ever.

Why don't they? Because they don't. Yeah, of course they don't. Well,

must have.

Well, it wasn't exactly a secret that Tyson's place was a tinny hell. Nah,

have been anyone.

Yeah, well, Pam is not telling me that my son is a narc.

And nobody's going to stop him from going to that funeral.

Well, you don't even believe she's dead.

What? Well, you didn't see it. You don't believe it.

God,

wacko. It can be hard.

I nipped out to check the 325 at Trenton. When I come back, Rita was

It wasn't until I saw her laid out that I knew she wasn't kidding.

OK, so we take him to see her.

What?

He sees her on the slab. He knows she's dead.

You can't just crash some funeral home, even if we did know where she was. He's

her fiancé. He's got the right. He's not at... He's not in Exit Ken.

Not legally, Grandpa. I'll trust you to go all Justice -type butt on it. Can you

seriously break into a funeral home? It's this strange foreign concept called

being loyal. Like you give a shit! You might not have to break in.

What? I could maybe find her.

If that's what you guys want.

Hey,

my darling.

I've got to go out for a bit.

I've got some news.

You can go see Aurora.

You found her?

Hayden did.

She only knows him.

Well, Hayden runs old folks' homes.

You know, and he has certain connections with other businesses.

Undertakers.

That's where she's hiding.

Then she's not.

Undertakers.

That's a good place to hide.

Thanks, mate.

Okay, it's a call with Terry. Just don't be too long.

It's down there. It's the second on the right.

And no weird stuff, okay?

I used to think heaven would be real boring because of all the angels and

Oh, that's way more fun.

See, I reckon that it's like Asgard.

Yeah.

Is that in the South Island?

It's wherever you want it to be.

Anyway.

You're not gonna die.

Because I'm not gonna leave you.

Hey.

You gotta know.

I didn't mean it.

Aurora.

None of it.

Tell me you know.

Tell me you know.

Aurora. Aurora!

Tell me you fucking know!

Aurora!

What are you doing to me?

Nothing.

She's dead, man.

Yeah. She is.

Shit. What a bastard.

I wish I could... Yeah, I know.

I shouldn't even be in this place. Not now.

These are the cops that... What?

She... She says you punched her.

Lying tart.

I'll bloody punch Monica if I get the chance.

My lawyer's going to call you about going over your statement. Martin, yeah.

Any good?

He's off the list, he'll do.

What does that mean?

It means I can't afford top draw for a minor charge.

It's not minor if it's keeping you in here, is it? Sure, I've got a lawyer.

quite like to keep him for two minutes. Well, I don't shout at him or anything.

Swearing?

Hell no.

God, I miss you.

Not for much longer.

I'm 25.

You must get asked in pubs all the time.

Yeah, I do take ID with me.

Previous court experience?

A bit.

Mostly traffic.

Conversion, careless use, DRC?

You do seem to know the technical terms. I've got four kids. What was your last

case? A stationary vehicle.

It was quite a tricky one.

Park it.

With respect, you're a witness, so if we can just run through your statement,

then I can get on with it.

Well, Monica...

Is it lying? How?

That. For the court to decide.

And how are they going to work it when her copmates back her up? This is

harassment. This is misuse of police power.

I don't think that's an argument I'll be running.

Why the hell not?

Well, technically, an assault did take place. Which means he's guilty.

We'll argue it, of course.

I'm keen to it. There's ground.

You think this is a loser.

There's always a plea of mitigation.

Plenty there.

No previous convictions. Long service. No, you're off the case with him now.

You can't do that. I can, and if you don't believe me, I will give you a full

rundown on the meaning of the word assault. Are you threatening me? Are you

sick? A plea in mitigation means that he is still inside. That is not what we're

hiring you for.

Loretta.

I'd like to speak to my client. Say what you like. You're off the case. What is

it, hun?

Honestly?

She's such a lovely person, but she's got a lot going on.

A funeral.

With drugs.

UPNs. Gangs. The whole heap of shit. It's so not her fault.

Okay, I'm on my way.

Okay, we've got a private service at the funeral home at 2pm. Okay, that's where

we'll be then.

Hang on, hang on. Back up here. You're going to crash a funeral.

Yeah? No, no. Terry's been really good. He doesn't need all that aggro. You

always were a pussy when you weren't a Nazi.

Well, what happens after that?

Interment, Y committee at 3. It's private security guards.

Okay, we'll go there.

What's interment?

It's the bit, you know, when they put the coffin in the ground.

Well, they're burying her in a coffin.

Yeah, it kind of goes with the internment territory.

No, they can't. They can.

No, no. We shut her in. She hates that.

And then worms will come, and then her flesh will rot. Well, that's what

with bodies.

Van, it's a natural process. It's like compost, and Aurora was really into

compost and recycling.

No way.

No, she was. Remember, she used to make us put bottles out. They can't do this.

You've got to stop them.

You.

You know the guy, the funeral guy.

You've got to talk to him. There's a limit to what I can do. You're useless!

Got that right. Mate. You don't get it. None of you fucking get it. Van.

He'd like it.

We'll have to take care of it then, won't we?

You're not seeming all that friendly.

Get a good eye, fool, and sit on that.

Gee. Wasn't that who called the cops on that piece of gobshine?

Wasn't my grandson.

I'd like to know who did do it.

My deep condolences, Ted, very deep, to you and your family.

Thanks. The drugs, they're very bad for our kids, huh?

And my nephews, the ones who work for me, all the time whacked off their heads

because of those Tyson -type drug dealers.

You told them?

I ain't talking about my lazy families or the police.

Someone told.

But it won't stop us having a funeral.

Well, if you need anything, just let me know.

And because of my sympathy, Mrs. Fulani will make a big pot of chop suey.

Because I tell her to.

Your nephews, are they big?

Enormous, working out all the time.

Could be handy, then.

Who's that?

Me. Let me go see what he wants.

You better.

Kappa!

I just need a pen, that's all.

What for?

Some stuff I gotta do.

For Aurora.

Can't do it on my own.

Want to do a bit of fishing?

Why would she want me to go fishing?

Hey, that's a good one.

This one.

It's a dunga. No, I'm not going out in that piece of shit even for a roarer.

You don't have to.

Then why do we need all this shit?

Because we do.

Fuck, we've been in there a parking lot or something. I'm just going to do this!

The way she wanted it.

Okay?

Okay.

It ain't cool, man.

No sweat.

Yeah, only because no one's dumb enough to break into a place full of dead

people. Make some email and get off on them.

You ain't done it. What?

No, I don't wanna it's for her you want me to do this you gonna tell me what the

fuck's going on Okay

She

had this thing about how it should be I'd make it so you're like the princess

in the story. You've got the glass coffin.

So the dwarves could be perving at her.

No way.

Not me. Why not? You're as hot as her.

A cubby in a coffin.

Or shut up in the ground.

Now it's like with the wedding, you know.

The air and the trees.

It's like the Vikings.

What about them again?

They didn't have churches. They just...

Did their thing out in the air.

What if it rained?

They didn't care.

They just had to be open to nature.

You know, sailing off to Asgard, their spirits floating with the flames.

You see?

No walls, man.

She can't be in no box.

You've got to help me get her out. I can't touch you. She's not some vampire.

It's tapu. So you're not into that shit. It doesn't matter if you're into it.

It'll still bite you on the ass. Then I'll get bit as well.

But you're not Maori.

That's racist.

No, it's not. If there's an ass -biting rule, it should be one bite for

everyone. Look, I'm not touching a dead body, okay? Don't!

Okay, just help me lift it.

Please, bro.

You're my best man.

Doesn't that mean shit to you?

Whoever told those cops

he'll suffer for it.

What if it was then?

He wouldn't. We're never dogged. They know the consequences.

Isn't it just a story?

A curse is not a story.

Yeah, yeah.

Crushed by the coal truck.

Married to the Irish pofter, withered from polio, so poor they ate the glaze

the plates, all because someone dobbed. Oh, and great -uncle Luther got 10 to 20

for the Reefton post office.

You took it all in.

Grandpa, other people got bedtime stories like Goldilocks and Peter

We got the curse of the West.

Peter Rabbit didn't end well either.

Mum, you can't just buy someone off with a lawyer.

Well, he wasn't a lawyer, he was a butthole.

I need someone who can win this. Well, that's at the Judd. Yeah, it would suit

you just fine if he stayed inside, wouldn't it? What's the point?

Look, you must know someone.

Maybe.

Someone who can kick legal ass.

Look, Mum, get real.

All right? The big guns, they're expensive.

Out of your league. I don't care.

Am I interrupting?

No. No, no, Mum was just leaving.

A couple of names.

That's all I need.

Cheryl West, I presume.

It must be Gary, the builder.

Yeah, he's done a job or two.

Right, yeah.

Excuse me.

Oh, come on. One second.

How's that?

He's gone off with Munter, I hope.

All right, well, I'll see you tomorrow.

OK. 3pm, white committee. Don't wear anything you don't want ruined.

OK. Nice to meet you, Gary.

Likewise.

You're at the top of it already, so do it.

I don't get it, this fucking shit.

She liked them.

She liked them.

Why? Because they were like heavy metal? Because of her beliefs.

She knew heaps about that.

Even though she didn't get the course, see?

She knew heaps about lots of stuff.

They put their dead on the boat and they set them on fire.

But they light them at sunset.

And then if the flames match the sunset, it meant that person had led a good

life. That wouldn't be a problem for you.

Can I watch this?

It's my song.

Is it?

Yeah.

I'm still a piece of shit. No, you liked it just then. No, I didn't. Yes, you

did. I didn't. You did.

I didn't.

Yes, you did.

Should have been sunset.

Bet you Vikings have bigger boats.

You don't know.

It's not enough wood.

I've got petrol.

It's going to take a lot of heat, you know, even with a side of pork or a real

big roast on a outdoor barbie. It takes a lot to cook it.

She's not a barbie.

Yeah, I know, and you're going to burn her.

But you ain't no Viking, and this ain't no Viking funeral.

Doing what she wanted.

Yeah, so you keep fucking saying.

What she wanted.

What she wanted was not to be dead.

What is it? What is it?

That's not her, it's some old brown dude.

It was the same room.

We stole the wrong fucking body.

It was the same room. I was talking to the lady and now I'm screwed.

It's okay.

It's okay.

How can you say anything's okay? It's okay.

We put him back.

We put him back exactly where we found him.

We've got to get her off.

Nah, nah, enough, man. I'm not being a nobody, not for you, not for anyone.

I have to!

I've got to make up for what I did.

It was you who called the cops, wasn't it? So what if I did?

Well, if you're so proud, why don't you tell no one? Piss off.

Look, just don't make it right.

Just don't make it better.

Just don't stop me from being a dickhead who took something good and stamped it

into nothing.

Fuck you!

Have you let him break in here and do this?

I've got to clean up, man. Do some thinking. What?

Oh, yeah, great.

Bye. Have a lovely wash.

Your bloody brother.

I went on a limb with Terry and he does this.

He's upset.

He's deranged more like it, as well as mental.

And he's an idiot.

He's not an idiot. Oh, you call him that all the time. Yeah, he's my brother,

but you don't call him that ever. Not this again. This West Coast, a fucking

honour! And what are we going to do tomorrow?

Oh, yeah, that's right, great.

We're going to crash a gang funeral.

Yeah, is that what you think?

It's a disaster waiting to happen. Well, if that's the way you feel, you don't

have to come.

You can just piss off.

Hello. Hi.

I just got a message from my lawyer.

That is my ex -lawyer.

Threats of violence, apparently.

Well, you're better off without him. We need someone better.

Jesus, Cheryl.

Is this something you've got against the entire legal profession, or just the

ones that work for me? No, I'll get you a lawyer, a proper one.

Cheryl? No, listen, I need you out. I want you out, so I can't have maybe...

know, if you're in someone's corner, it's not half -assed. You back them up

the way.

Okay.

How's Van?

Not too good.

Shit.

Well, you have a good day, okay?

And don't get into too much trouble.

I never have to.

Where's your fancy man?

Not coming.

You know where your friends are when the chips are down.

Can you get Van up? We've got to get organized.

Hi, doll.

Ted gave me birth.

Great. I'm prepared.

We'll knock a few bikies for six.

Ted, we just want to get in there. We don't want to do any damage.

You think so?

After what they said about me and my grandson?

Van's not in his room. He's not here.

What, was he in the bathroom?

I don't think he came home last night.

Oh.

Um, OK, I'll text Munter. I don't think that's going to help.

Hey.

Hey, bro.

It's just me.

I didn't know where else to go, alright?

However, it's alright.

Really, it's fine.

You want this?

We should, uh...

Get you home, eh? Get you cleaned up.

I'll drive you. I can't go home, Jed. I did it.

Did what?

I dubbed him.

Tyson. To the cops.

There was this shit in my head and I had to get him.

I told her.

She went there.

She must have dreaded taking a day in this wash.

You hate me.

What? Just leave me alone.

Okay.

I don't hate you, Ben.

I can't go home.

He didn't.

He wouldn't.

He did.

It could have been Filani.

Anyone. It wasn't. Oh, shit.

Van doesn't want to come home because of it.

I've told him that's a heap of crap. My oath it is. Grandpa. He's a dobber. Done

his chips. He won't come back into this house.

Not ever.

Oh, yeah, and who was the last family member who dobbed to the cops? It was

precious warfare. Didn't see you kicking him out. Didn't come back here, did he?

He went inside, took his punishment.

Jesus, Ted. And he was defending what was his, what was right. And what makes

you think Van wasn't?

Aurora wasn't on with Tyson.

What, you ran their checking, were you? She was a lovely girl, like an angel.

Oh, God, you can be blind sometimes.

You know all about it.

Adultery and bloody knickers. Oh, shut up, Ted. Are we going to the funeral?

No, I've got to sort this first.

No. No.

No, I'll manage.

You've got a bloody nerve. My son, he did call the cops.

But he had a reason for it.

He thought that you had a thing for his girl, that you wanted her back.

Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe not is what I need to know. You leave him alone. You had her with you

every day, looking after your every need. You're telling me you didn't try

with her? You get out of here. Were you on with her?

You've got to tell me.

I know that she cared about you. She cared about you a great deal because she

told me. She wouldn't.

She wouldn't.

And I tried to tell her how I'd treat her good, but she only wanted him

And this is how he fucking repays her.

Well, he wasn't dealing drugs, was he?

And he didn't make her get on that bike, did he? You did, to save your precious

fucking stash.

And at five o 'clock in the morning when the cops raided your place, you were in

the clear because of that, weren't you?

Make you feel better, doesn't it? Blaming him?

No, it doesn't.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for Van's part in this.

Any of this.

I'm sorry.

feel for you and your loss.

Because no one should ever have to lose a child.

Not in any way.

And we won't be bothering you at the funeral today.

Come home, love.

Come on.

Van, do you believe the ramblings of a superstitious old man?

He's right.

Van, you did what you did.

But it was an accident.

It was.

And now you've got to come home and front up.

It'd be bad if I do.

It'd be worse if you don't.

And I'm your mother.

So you do what I tell you. Come on, get up.

Come on.

Say a bloody word.

I don't talk to the Dame.

I've made tea and coffee.

And tea and coffee.

Loretta, can you get down to the supermarket?

And, uh, somebody, phone Munter.

Text him.

He turned his phone off. Well, he was going to think. Where?

In his thinking spot, you know.

Hey, Casey.

I got a message from Cheryl.

This

is

what you think?

Sometimes.

It's okay that I'm here?

Sure.

It's a real nice spot for thinking.

Do you know any karakia?

That's a prayer, not a band.

Yeah.

Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

That do?

Cheers.

Cheryl wants you home.

I can't go to the police right now.

What, you two?

I saw how he was going all crazy and jealous, and then he called me gay.

Are you gay?

Of course not. He said it to piss me off.

But if I'd stopped him, you know, just followed him and stopped him. Oh, look.

You're the best mate a guy ever had, all right.

Yeah? I wish I had a friend like you.

Yeah? Yeah.

Cheryl says we've got to do a send -off for Aurora at home.

What happened to Waikumete?

They know what they did.

But Cheryl says we've got to make it good for him anyways.

Okay.

I might need a hand.

Oh, hi, gorgeous. This is so terrible.

Mum, I think something's burning.

What? Oh, hold on a minute.

Did I?

No.

What are you doing here?

Well, I heard from Jethro there was a bit of a wake. I wanted to pay my

respects.

I didn't know that you even liked them that much.

He was honest, decent. They had wedding plans.

I admire that in a man.

Yeah, yeah.

Can I slip these on for you? Yeah, the barbie's out there. Thanks.

I found him.

I found him.

Oh, Munter, am I glad to see you.

Hey.

Okay, Munter, we've really got to pull this together, okay?

I'm on the case, Mrs. West. Good, good.

Hey, dude.

Mum says you have to get ready.

Who's that?

He's cute.

It's a white crow shell.

So? We're grieving here.

Really grieving.

Yeah, well, death's probably the number one aphrodisiac. At least in my

experience. That is so awful.

Can I help it if it's true?

Sausage roll?

Oh, you should have some topsoy. It's very good. Made by my wife after much

complaining.

You reject this fine chop suey?

What happened to you?

I could ask the same thing.

3pm, Waikumete?

Yeah, I'm the only bastard there.

You went?

Yep. Took a golf club as well.

I still got done over by a big motherfucker on the day.

He seemed really happy to see me.

It doesn't feel that bloody funny, I can tell you.

It was a change of plan.

Fossil roll?

You're such a bitch to like me, aren't you?

Go

get

your grandpa. Use force if you have to.

If he's not punished, he'll bear the fruit. We all will.

Grandpa. There are rules for a reason. Rules for torture.

They're not like actual real life rules, Grandpa.

They're west rules.

Never burgle on a full moon.

It's light.

You get seen.

Never hide money where a dog can find it.

If a dog can get it, any bugger with a shovel can dig it up.

Don't drink absinthe, even on a full stomach.

Disgusting stuff. Makes you sick. I was fine.

He's bad luck from now on. That's a fact. He's cursed.

Look.

Some shit that happened in 1866.

What? All that crap with the polio and the poster.

That was my sister, 1957.

You were there?

Too right I was.

Um... You were the dobber.

You dobbed in your own uncle. How could you do that?

He was a shit Luther.

Beat me, auntie.

Only owed me money.

But he set the curse and it rained down like shit from a cracked toilet.

My own little sister.

Polio, then knocked up to an Irish puked her.

Well, too bad.

What? Too bad, Grandpa.

You stand by your family or you're nothing. You told me that.

And if you don't come with me now, I will use this to make you.

You know nothing about cricket.

Sausage? What?

Oh. Burn him like a pro.

Yeah, thanks.

Look, I don't want to be inappropriate, but I gather you could be needing a good

bloke right about now.

A lawyer.

You know what I fuck with? They're hard to find, I know.

But here's your man. He's a pit bull in a suit, wins them all and charges like a

wounded one.

But if you needed help with that, you let me know.

What? Cash.

And if you need any, I can probably help. I couldn't... Look, I'd expect it

back, don't you worry. I'm not Santa.

But, you know, there's no pressure on the repayments.

Well, you're very kind.

No rush, Cheryl.

You're plenty to deal with here.

Yes, you think.

Hey, would you excuse me?

Hey.

Yeah, well, a while ago, Van asked me to be his best man, so I've been thinking

about that.

See, I've been around since Chris Amon Primary, when Van first met Aurora.

I was there the first time he pinged her bra strap, and when they had their

first pash, she had to keep a lookout so Mrs. Wesley wouldn't catch them,

because she had, like, eyes in the back of her head.

And, well, they kind of drifted apart there for a while.

Then in Aurora, until the Hoochie Girl contest, where Aurora, she come third,

which was a respectable placing given the hotness of the chicks that night.

But that was it.

You know, for my best mate, that was the woman he loved.

And he braved the freezer and the bikey bastards to get that woman.

That's how much he loved her.

And that's something that makes me feel humble.

That love.

So I'd like you to charge your glasses.

But yeah, Aurora, wherever she is, she knows

how far Van was willing to go for her to get her spirit to fly in a Viking way.

So we're going to do that now.

Lights a flame.

Because she was a choice chick, eh?

The best.

We love you, man.

Just like we know you love dirt.

Let it fly.

Here comes the first disaster.

You don't know it all old man.

To Aurora!

Aurora!

What you said

was amazing.

It's just stuff.

My best man speech.

I see you in a whole different light.

Spiritual.

Whoa.

Some chicks put some off.

No. You inspire me.

Hello.

Hey, Mrs. Hey,

Cheryl. Okay.

Scorch mark on the lawn.

Oh, and I got your lawyer.

What, out of wake?

No end to my powers.

Think you could use your powers over the phone?

Play your cards right.

Not just my cards.

Shit.

Yeah, I gotta go.

There's a very big guy who wants to use the phone.

I love you.

I love you too.

Hi!

Well, this is just great, isn't it?

I guess it is.

and spend hours being sniffed by beagles and customs people and treated like I'm

some kind of terrorist just because I had a mango in my bag. One tiny little

mango. And then no one's there to meet me and it's like a million dollars to

to cabs. So I try calling all your phones and they're all switched off.

And now I see why you didn't care.

My own mother is too busy getting red -ass at some big piss -up and it's not

even anyone's birthday.

That'll be a punishment.

Won't end here, Sonny Jim.

This program was made with funding from New Zealand on Air.

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