Original subtitles

Uh, hey, pick up. I found someone new for you to do your community service.

Oh. Then I'll fix it. What?

That's my future, surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of old people who hate old

people. If you want to fuck me, then fuck me.

What?

I've just become aware recently that sometimes it's a really good idea to

life by the board.

Get used to it.

The best thing about Piha is a black tan that keeps him buff. The best thing

about Piha is checks and white bikini. Fun.

Manta. Your turn, bro. Oh, the best thing about Piha is if you're there,

not in jail.

Oh, you're going to be okay.

Hey, check it out.

See,

look, sweet deal.

But it's the same price, Ben.

No, look, it's a stock clearance, man. I think it's meant to be a joke, Ben.

Yeah, maybe on the moron running the store, or... Not really.

I'll get them.

Joy. You don't have to... No, no, you fellas got the gas washer.

Yeah. Oh, poor Munter. Nah, don't worry about him. He's getting a good deal. No,

I mean about the other thing.

Oh, yeah.

He's bummed about that court case.

It must be really weird, eh, with Judd staying at the house all the time.

Ben, look!

Hey, I'm a bit short. Can you fellas lend me a tenner?

Isn't that just the cutest house you've ever seen?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, have you guys got a tea knocking bar? We should have a look.

We can't. You can. Open home.

Means anyone can have a look.

Back in the old days, me and Dad used to go to heaps of these things.

But this time we'd actually be looking.

But we can't afford it.

Yeah, it doesn't stop us looking, eh?

You okay to talk to Muncher about this thing?

I might as well add him to the list of people who are pissed off with me.

I'm not pissed off with you.

I can't go. Pascal, you don't have a choice in the matter.

The laws in this country are stupid.

Don't look at me. I didn't make them.

You've got 100 hours of community service today.

Don't make me go to hell, please. If you don't do them, some big old judge is

going to put you in prison with a bunch of ferocious lesbians.

I hate old people.

Well, Grandpa's old. You like him. Grandpa is flesh and blood.

The Janet Frame retirement home will be filled with wrinkly, gross, smelly old

people that I'm not even related to.

Well, too bad.

I'll give you a lift.

No, because then I'll just have to wait for you to pick me up.

If I'm going to hell, I may as well just be able to flee when I get the chance.

Isn't it choy?

We used to have a swing just like this in our backyard.

Until Loretta sold it to the name of the thing.

It's quite queer in the lawn.

Gorgeous, isn't it?

It faces west.

It's a real sun trap.

Did you hear that?

It faces west.

And this is the master bedroom, obviously.

First home, is it?

Yeah, we're just sort of looking.

Oh, well, you better be quick. There's been a lot of interest in this one.

It just oozes potential, doesn't it?

Yeah. Hey, check this out.

Hey, if we were sleeping in that room, you know who we could put in here, don't

you?

Yeah. That'd be a great room for a kitty.

I reckon.

Are you two gay?

What? These are all romantic comedies.

They're Tracy's. Yeah, she's moved in.

Oh, you let her. She's staying for a while.

That's cool.

I like having her around.

So is the prick still staying over?

Which prick?

Judd. Oh, that prick.

Shocking, isn't it? He's sitting around the breakfast table munching toast like

he owns the place.

Fucking believable.

Yep. Bet you that's not all he's munching.

Mate, you're talking about my mum.

So what are you doing about it?

Doing about it? Yeah.

He's got no right to be there. We've got to get rid of him.

Well, Grandpa's...

Blocked himself in the caravan.

Oh, okay.

Jethro, what do you want us to do? Refuse to eat at the same table? Yeah,

good start.

Where else would we eat?

Loretta, it's wrong.

So?

So, if Dad walked back in the house and found Judd in his fucking bed, how do

you think he'd feel?

Sure, he'd deal with Judd and Mum, but what would he think of his kids?

Allowing that shit to go on. He'd be gutted.

It's got to stop.

Okay.

Okay.

To be honest, I haven't actually been home that much lately.

Why?

What are you men doing?

Studying stuff.

You're learning heaps?

At this moment.

Yeah, look, the point is, when you are there, don't make it easy for them.

All right? Prick's got no right being there.

But Jessica's OK.

Are you moving in?

Oh, well, I haven't actually moved in for Sam.

I'm staying with him.

Right.

Wait, can you have a problem?

No. No, no, no. God, no.

I don't think Jessica could do with a woman's touch.

Yeah, well...

He's got me.

Speak of the devil.

Tracy was just bringing me up to date.

On what?

Her moving in. Sort of.

Yeah, well, seems to be all the rage these days.

But why the fuck not?

That's what he's done, isn't it?

Moved in.

Wayne's days.

From time to time.

It's another year, isn't it?

So dad's been gone two minutes and already you've let some guy waltz in. A

a cop. Waltz in and take over your fucking life. No one takes over my life.

Wayne, not Wolf, and especially not you. Was there a point to this visit? It's a

fucking embarrassment, Mum, to the whole fucking family. Great message received.

I've got to go.

Sorry we didn't get to the beach, man. That's okay, bro. I've never been to an

open home before.

Hey, man.

You believe in fate, right?

Yeah, I guess.

I'm going to buy you that house, bro.

What? But don't tell her, okay?

Because it's going to be like a surprise.

What for?

Fate, man.

If those six -packs hadn't been on special...

We wouldn't have seen the sign, so we wouldn't have stopped the car. We

have seen that little house.

Yeah, but to buy a house, don't you need, like, money?

But I've got a bank account, all right?

$237, man. That's not enough to buy a house, Vin. Yeah, but next week I'll

$287.

I'm going to get a mortgage, bro.

I'm really happy for you, man.

Here we go.

Hey, I'm sorry we didn't get to the beach today, man.

Yes. I've got to go and see Jethro about that thing. Hey, thinking of you?

You'll be sweet, bro.

Fate will take care of you, man.

Here, Joyce.

Hey,

Munter.

Oh, hey, Mrs West. Must be fate. I was thinking about you, and there you are.

Yeah, I'm pretty big on fate right now.

Hey, I need to ask a favour of you.

Yeah, sure. Anything for you. What's up?

You know how things are pretty different at home right now?

Oh, with you shagging a cop and all?

Yeah. Hey, that's your business, Mrs West, and I'm cool with that.

Thanks, Munter.

Just that it's kind of your business as well, if you get my drift.

Oh, you mean with Judd being the arresting officer in my court case,

Yeah. It's kind of awkward, can you see that?

Yeah. So I was thinking it might be better for everyone if you can't lay low

a while, just until everything blows over.

Then I'll be locked up and you won't have to worry about it. No, that

happen.

Yeah, yeah, sure, no problem.

OK.

Thanks, Martha.

So there were 43 car doors in your van at the time you were arrested?

Yep.

Why 43?

Well, car doors, they come in even numbers, don't they? Apart from

of course.

Oh, one of them had a ding in it. It's not good resale value if they've got

things in them.

And there's a good market for car doors?

Yeah, real good. I know a guy in Matamata who shifts them to a guy in

who passes them on to a guy in Taupo, and from there they go to every second

-hand parts store in the Lower North Island. Wow.

Organised crime, eh?

Yeah, until you get busted.

By Wayne Judd, no less.

You know, the high -ace is so chocker that the rear axles are smoking, and

driving the cop car behind me on the motorway?

Fuck!

Fuck, I'm going down, eh, bro?

Well, on the evidence here?

Yeah, well, maybe prison ain't a bad place to be right now. I'm a little

on accommodation.

What do you mean? You stay at our house most of the time. It's your second home.

Yeah, well, it was my second home until I lost my first.

Then it became my first, but not anymore.

Since when?

Since your mum said I had to stay clear.

You know, until the case blows over.

But it's cool, bro, I understand.

It's a conflict of interest.

Conflict of what interest?

Well, me and Judd, of course.

She can't do that.

Yes, she can.

Fuck them both. Munted, there is no way you're going to go to prison for this

crime. Really?

Mr. Van?

What? Lloyd Draper, mobile mortgages.

Oh.

Hey, man.

Well, you guys are really fast, eh? We're mobile.

So, Mr. Van.

No, Mr.

West.

Van West.

West. Right.

And you want a mortgage?

Yes, please.

That would be excellent.

Did you bring what I need?

A bank statement.

Yep.

The good news is we lend up to 99 % of the house price.

And the bad news?

$237. Yeah? You will need at least $10 ,000 in this account before you can even

consider a mortgage application. $10 ,000?

No! I've got to move quickly on this, man.

In your ads, it's like people walk in and you go like, here's the money, dude.

Bam. Get your deposit together.

Then we can talk again.

How? You can phone me or call my office. No, I meant the deposit, numbnuts.

Well, I don't know.

Family money?

10 grand?

Why? Are you in trouble?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm buying a house.

But don't tell Aurora, okay? Because of the price.

Yeah, it is.

Hmm.

So, 10 grand?

You know, it's funny. I never thought of you moving out.

Ever.

What, don't you think I can do it? No, no, no, I do. I think it's great.

You're branching out on your own. But, Van, listen to me. A mortgage, it's a

really big deal.

Oh, yeah, I'm up for it.

But I need ten grand.

Look, I'd love to help you. I really would. But this business is just money

going in and money going out. That's all.

Can you wait a year? I hope you're there. No, I can't wait. There's a lot

interest. Well, there'll be others.

No, there won't. Not like this one.

Look, if your father was here, we could manage it. But he's not. So you know how

it is.

All right, I can... I can...

Hey, would that help? Yeah, that'd be the choice. Thanks, Mum. I've got to go,

OK? Yeah.

So you've been doing volunteer work for the Clean Streets Trust for a few months

now. It's part of our urban renewal project.

And where did you find the car doors?

Down a bank near a creek beside a children's playground.

And where were you taking them? To dispose of them safely.

I've just got one question.

Fire away.

Is anyone going to believe this horse shit?

Well, you have a very credible character witness who can vouch for your good

work and also front up with a couple of other witnesses who help you tidy up the

biohazard. Plus, no one actually saw you stealing the car doors.

So, yeah, I can make this horse shit fly.

As long as you can find time in your busy social calendar to show up at

you should be sweet as.

Something I can't pull out of, man.

Oi.

Um... Yeah, I need my share of Dad's money. What money?

From the job.

Van, you pulled out of the job. You don't get a cut. Yeah, but I did the

stuff. That's got to be worth a few grand at least.

Dad would agree with that. No, he wouldn't. He was pissed at you for

out. Ask him. I bet he sees you.

Can you do it today? I'm in a hurry.

Van, I don't know where he is. Then just give me the money.

I need ten grand.

What for?

I'm buying a house.

You are going to buy a house.

What are you, stoned?

That's not the point. The point is, you have money, I need money, and if you're

a proper brother, you give it to me. Piss off, man. I'm not giving you a

See you later.

You prick, Jethro.

I'm going to get you for this.

You got any ideas, man?

Must be another way.

Hey, what about those Tongan money lenders?

Maybe they'd give me the money.

The ones we stole from?

Probably not, eh?

What about the car door thing? Is there any money left in that guy?

That opportunity is definitely closed. From now on, I'm only interested in cars

in their complete form.

You made me a martini.

Shaken, not sad.

Like if this is foreplay to some James Bond fantasy. I've got to tell you, I'm

pretty tired.

It's a martini.

Olive, whiff of vermouth.

No strings attached.

Hey, um... I'm sorry about earlier.

Jethro, let it go. She's happy.

Yeah, but it's wrong.

Let it go.

Thought you were working at the video hut tonight.

Uh, no. Jules was on tonight.

Oh. So, what do you want to do?

Um... What do you mean?

Tonight.

Um... Yeah, you think about it. I've got to go for a walk.

What? Now?

Uh, yeah.

Wow. You're really uptight.

Yeah, well, that's why I've got to go for a walk.

Are you in trouble?

No, I'm not in trouble.

Just asking.

Sorry.

I'm just, I'm really, I'm quite worried about Monk.

Maybe he's going to be okay, but you've got to send him positive thoughts.

Yep.

I'll do that on my walk.

How was work today, honey?

Don't you start.

Fine. How's school?

Hell. You want to stake out?

I couldn't tell you if I want. But it might be someone we know.

That's enough.

Oh, speaking of criminals, how was life on cell block 69 and over? I don't want

to talk about it.

Are you really sure you want to buy into this family?

Too late to turn back now.

No, it's never too late to play. You shut up and go and feed your grandpa.

Oh, you... I'm confused.

Doesn't Jethro have a car like this?

Um, not anymore.

Oh, heavenly Lord in heaven.

Van, what drives a brother to steal from a brother who is his own brother? I

want to buy a house and he's holding out on my cash.

Oh, so she's knocked up, eh?

Eh? No, no, no. Make sure you get the mortgage insurance.

Because my uncle Molo, he didn't have any. And then one day, he was on the

in Apia, and he was killed by a falling pallet of corned beef.

So, we're saying three grand?

No, no, no.

Ten. Ten grand at least, man. Look, it's a classic.

Ten? Yeah.

You'd steal the bread from my children's mouths for...

Seven and a half.

Five.

My children will go without shoes this winter.

Yeah, okay, yep, sweet.

Whatever, five.

You're an astute businessman, but a lousy brother.

So how many hours have you got left?

What? After yesterday of your community hell.

When you were at school, did you have to change any nappies?

Have they gone?

Mr Porky in slubby pants?

Yes, they've gone, Grandpa.

You all right, then?

Of course I'm all right.

Why are you dressed like that?

Because I'm working at the Janet Frame Retirement Home now.

I'll never set foot in one of those death camps.

Hey, if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anybody?

Yeah.

I really like working there.

Hey, Janet Frank.

I thought I was going to hate it, and at first I did.

But, like, old people are really grateful for anything, and they really

It's like, remember when I was five and I really loved animals and I wanted to

be a vet?

Pascal, when you were five, I was two.

Well, having all these old people around is like having all these wrinkly old

pets around. It's great.

Where's Van?

At work?

No, tried there. He's got an Asian chick running a store.

Oh, maybe his spiritual home, then?

No, another $3 ,000 and we're there.

Yeah, but $7 ,000, almost $10 ,000.

It's not $10 ,000.

Then we need to assess your ability to repay the loan.

Yeah, but I will.

I promise.

That's a good start, but in our current wage, it's marginal.

If you had a higher -paying job, the application would look better.

Really? It's up to you, Van.

George, we need to talk, don't we?

No.

Oh, I think we do.

Do you mind?

I'll call you.

Okay.

Where's my car?

What car? The one you were standing next to when you said, I'm going to get you

for this, you prick.

Oh, that car.

Has it been stolen?

Oh, shit.

Are you insured? That's not the point.

So, yeah, what's the point?

The point is, I want my car back.

What are you asking me for? I haven't got it.

You stole your own brother's car.

You're the lawyer.

Prove it.

Oh.

Oh, man.

Fuck you, you prick. You're going to pay for this.

What do you want?

I need to talk to Mr. Hong.

He's in Hong Kong.

It's about time to do the business thing. I guess you can talk to me.

Yeah? Okay.

Um, I need a raise on my job.

And I need a three grand advance on that raise.

Yeah. Or else.

Or else what?

Well, I'll leave.

I need to buy a house.

ambitions.

Who knew?

Need or want?

Need. How bad?

Why?

Because I have a job for you.

Yeah? A one -off for the three grand and I'll get you that raise.

Cool.

Doing what? I don't clean pools anymore, you know?

Amen.

Amen.

How's the health thing going?

Oh, I still need three grand for the deposit, eh?

Oh, that's heaps closer than ten grand.

Yep.

I can get three grand if I fuck Susie Hong and give her a boy baby.

Well, you know, technically it's wrong to stick your dick in a woman who isn't

your girlfriend.

Yeah, I know.

Help me out here, man.

I don't think you should do it.

She's overlading at the moment, and Mr Hong's out of town, so it's like now or

never. Hell of a plan B.

Yeah, but it's to make Aurora happy.

Yeah, but at what cost?

You're not really helping me out here.

Oh, shit.

Not you too.

You don't think I can do it either, do you? Look, there are certain ways to buy

houses, and Root & Rich Slags isn't one of them. You didn't even want me to do

it. It's not about that. Ah, save it.

I don't want to hear nothing from someone that doesn't believe in me.

Fine, because I've got other shit I need to worry about.

Jesus Christ, Munty, you can't be late for your own trial, man. Sorry, man,

got a lot on my mind. And that affects how fast you walk? Yeah, pretty much.

Come on.

Hey, Jethro. Hey, Sergeant.

Hey, Munzer.

Good luck in there, eh?

Yeah, thanks, Wayne.

What's Colin Wayne for?

He's with me.

Dickhead, isn't he?

Come on.

Hello, why did I bother?

What? With me?

No, you idiot. Making the sandwich.

Oh.

Yeah, sorry. I've got a bit of a headache.

I'll have it.

I'm a bit constipated, so I'm working on the compression theory. Put enough in,

it has to come out somewhere.

Do you want to talk about it?

I've just got some bad shit in my head.

That's all. I'll figure it out.

Well, I know something that will make that bad shit go away.

This feels really stupid.

You should see what it looks like.

Now, the candle is hollow, so the heat draws

all the negative energy up out of the cranial cavity.

Have you got a candle that can cure my constipation?

No.

Now, you, no more talking.

I'm going to come back in in five minutes.

Okay.

Hey, Grandpa, if I do something that's really quite bad,

but I get something really, really good out of it, and it's not just for me,

then that's okay, right?

I thought the shit comes out of your ear, not your mouth.

It was hard out, man.

Pleasure was all mine. Fuck, you were awesome in there, bro.

Drinks all around?

Yeah, it works for me.

I would join you, but I got a previous engagement.

Oh, yeah? Who is she?

She's not your type, mate. Trust me.

Shit, if I'd known Munter was so community -minded, I wouldn't have

bugger in the first place.

Just working for my client, Detective Sergeant.

Working overtime.

Hey, Munter, you want to come round home for dinner?

Celebrate?

Is that okay?

Yeah, really. Pork.

Ha ha.

Always up for that.

Oh, come on, Judd. Admit it.

I'll kick your fucking ass in there.

Actually, you saved me a lot of grief, boy.

And it'd be nice to have Munter back home.

Yeah, not your home.

Good point, Jethro.

Still on for that drink?

Yeah.

So what's Van done with my car?

Eh?

Oh, come on. I know he took it.

Honest, I don't know.

But, uh, I just saved you from going to prison, mate.

Serious? Me and him haven't been doing much together lately because of the

Aurora thing.

Oh, right.

Check, though.

If the tale comes along and then all of a sudden your mates don't mean shit.

Aurora's all right.

I'd go and ask Valani about your car.

It'd be my guess anyway.

So Van must be pretty desperate to get this house.

What a dream, eh?

He'll do it.

No, really.

All he needs is three grand, then he's got the deposit.

And he's going to get that from Mr. Tong, even though it's wrong.

Why would Susie Hong give him three grand?

Just the things she needs done.

Right.

Then Van and Aurora disappear into Nappy Valley, eh?

So what's this wrong thing that Susie Hong's willing to pay three grand for?

Shit, back here.

What's this?

Ah, the rest of the car door money. For your fee.

Oh, no, bro, you keep it.

Serious? Yeah.

Your family.

Tell me what van's doing.

Free. He goes and does something stupid.

On my belt.

It's on your pants.

Oh, yeah.

I thought you weren't working tonight.

Oh, yeah, um, something came up.

Um, a stock take.

Why don't I come and help?

Stock taking sounds like it could be fun.

Nah, it's just, um, there's some things a man has to do on his own.

Like stock taking?

Mm -hmm.

I love you.

I love you too.

Van, what's going on?

Okay, honey.

Well, whatever gets you through the hours quicker is a good thing.

All right. We'll see you when we see you.

Pascal's working late at the old folks' home.

How was school?

I put the rough with the smooth.

The odd thing is, she sounded happy.

Really? Okay.

She did make me promise not to say anything, but this morning, Pascal said

she really liked working there.

She didn't go, did she?

I thought so, exactly.

A little tart.

What are you doing?

It doesn't look like I'm going.

Oh, Jesus. I knew you were a guy, Van, but four times.

Hey.

Look, I am overflowing. Just pass off.

But what about my three grand?

You got your money.

When?

When you finished fucking me half an hour ago.

Fill me to the brim.

Oh, you prick.

Lad's got your car back, Jethro. If I'd known it was yours, I never would have

bought it from that drunken new aunt.

Filani, cut the shit.

What the fuck are you doing?

Needed a pit.

I want my three grand back.

I haven't got it.

Oh, and I had to pay Filani five to get my car back.

So you owe me two.

How could you do this to me?

That was fun.

Man, is she up for it or what?

Not that. I mean, take my money.

Van, you stole my car.

That's a card you threw. This is my life.

What life?

Oh, your dream house with your gang -whore girlfriend and your best mate

only too happy to spill the beans because you treat him like shit?

Get... Fucking real, Van. No bank is going to give you a mortgage.

Look at the fucking state of you.

Dad was right when he had you pegged as a loser.

You let Dad out of this.

Why? Because you've got your new cop daddy now?

Yeah, I bet you two get on like a fucking house on fire.

I bet he's like, oh, come on, Van, you can do it, Van. I believe in you.

Losers, both of you. Get the fuck out of my office.

Or what? You want to hit me?

Try it.

You are deeply fucked up.

And you will never amount to anything.

Have pambigo.

Can't even look at you, man.

That's a heavy thing to say.

Yeah? Well, it's pretty heavy when your brother roots the woman that wanted your

sperm and takes the cash that you needed to buy a house.

What?

Oh, shit, I can't believe you did that. I can't believe you told him. It was an

accident, man, I swear.

You know, never did I think that he'd... Oh,

man.

That's deep down low.

All I wanted to do is to make her happy, right? And it's like the whole crap

-ass world is against me.

I'm not against you, bro.

Well, it's just... She throws feet, flagged at three grand, just like you

All I'm saying, bro, is that chances of the open home being open again are

pretty slim.

Yeah, but then I'll just get the real estate lady's number off to find me.

you could think of that.

Check it out, bro. She's there.

Hey, lady.

Hey. You remember me, right? I came to the open home here.

Isn't it a gorgeous little house?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I need to talk to you. Just one minute.

Kate.

What can I do for you?

It doesn't matter.

Okay, well, if you're still looking, here's my card.

There'll be other houses, bro. We're spacing ones, too.

Yeah.

Thanks anyway, bro.

Nah, man, that's yours, bro.

It's for you.

You're in your dreams, man.

Hey, you wish it a bit, bro?

Good idea.

Yeah, bro.

It's a really good deck.

It's a really good deck.

Maybe some more of those six -pack.

Yeah, hell yeah.

Hey, we need to go and see your brother first.

I don't want to go and see that dog.

Yes, you do. Come on.

Hi.

Hello.

That's round two.

Shirts for ironing. Can't you get Tracy to do them? Or you?

We're not exactly ironing people, Mum.

Tea here?

At work.

The station.

You want to stay for dinner?

Well, he's cooking a roast, eh?

You're up with the play.

Pork.

Seems appropriate.

Gee, you and Ted have obviously read the same joke book.

You know what? I won't stay for tea.

In fact, you can count me out of any future dinners in this house while he's

here. Get over yourself, Jethro.

Do you have any idea what people think?

What they're saying? No, not them or they.

Just you and the grumpy old bastard downstairs. You're the only two holding

up to this bloody sainthood he doesn't deserve.

You were married to the man for 20 fucking years, and this is how you treat

How about how he treated me, Jethro? Why don't you find him and have a go at him

for a change? Because he's not the one that fucked around, Mum. You want me to

be the slut, Jethro? I'll be the slut. He's made you point and get over it.

Jesus Christ. This is our home, Mum.

I grew up in this house, and you're disrespecting everything this family's

stood for.

If one of us tried to pull the shit you're pulling, moving that fucking

here, you'd go off your fucking nut at us and we'd deserve it and you'd fucking

know it. Who died and appointed you, Wolf?

You think you scare me, Jethro?

You think you're tough, like him?

Well, you're not.

You're not a... hatch on, Wolf, and you never will be.

Here's that key.

Tracy.

Can we just talk about it?

What's wrong?

Nothing. Just a fight.

Jethro. Oh, Jethro's a knob.

No, he's not. He's your brother and my son and we love him dearly.

Yeah, he's still a knob.

You know, you should get your boyfriend to fake evidence against him. See how

long pretty boy lasts in prison before someone takes his virginity.

That is a terrible thing to say.

And I'm worried about Pascal.

Okay. Well, if she's not going to her thing, then she's breaking parole, isn't

she? Maybe it runs in the family.

There's only one thing to do, isn't there?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Apparently a Pascal West works here. Who?

Pascal West. Never heard of her. I can't stop. I'll miss the goddess.

But there's singing.

Darling, I say goodbye, even though I'm blue.

Even though I'm blue. Even though I'm blue.

Darling, I say goodbye, even though I'm blue. Listen, Mrs. Johnson, you're the

man.

Oh, good, Mrs. McGill. Shake that tail feather.

Oi, you two at the back.

You're not here to dance. You're here to die.

Come on, you hit it. Let's go.

Come on.

We're just two cats swimming in a big ocean, bro.

Can cats swim? We can.

We're catfish.

And we gotta look out for the sharks.

Yeah, man.

Fish are cool.

Sharks are dorks.

Catfish are the coolest of them all.

You ready?

Yeah, man.

This program was made with funding from New Zealand On Air.