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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,859 --> 00:00:03,820 You bought me a prither. 2 00:00:03,821 --> 00:00:06,519 Well, she already got it. I can exchange it for a bowl of tequila. 3 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:07,570 No. 4 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,500 Grats. You're jealous. 5 00:00:09,501 --> 00:00:10,779 Of what? 6 00:00:10,780 --> 00:00:11,719 Your sister. 7 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,890 Because she's got him and you haven't. Who? 8 00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:15,780 The one you've got feelings for. 9 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,200 Look, I do not have any feelings for Hayden bloody Peters. 10 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,380 I would like to sleep in your place with you. 11 00:00:22,381 --> 00:00:26,669 You'll have to piss off before everyone else wakes up. What? These people are a 12 00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:28,029 pack of ticks letting you dry. 13 00:00:28,030 --> 00:00:31,069 And then, when things don't turn out the way they want, they blame you for it 14 00:00:31,070 --> 00:00:34,589 and you let them. Ever since she came in, she's been gunning for me. This is 15 00:00:34,590 --> 00:00:36,470 your fault, you evil Chinese witch! 16 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,390 Do you realise my entire family now hates you? 17 00:00:39,610 --> 00:00:41,470 Yeah, not really scaring me that much. 18 00:00:41,471 --> 00:00:43,589 I've got nothing against women. 19 00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:44,640 I love women. 20 00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:47,660 But they can be real pain in the arse at times, you know? 21 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,550 Yeah. I had good trust. 22 00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:51,169 You think? 23 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:52,220 I'm not sure. 24 00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:55,410 The thing with women is knowing when to push the off button. 25 00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:58,340 Yep. Thank you very much. That was fun. 26 00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,850 Whoa, hang on. Back off. Getting too close now. 27 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,070 Off button. 28 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,230 Made to black. 29 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:07,439 That striped shirt you had on before. Try it on with those trousers. 30 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:08,490 Hey, am I right? 31 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,350 Jethro West. 32 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,860 I need your help again. 33 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:16,820 Pascal, I'm busy. 34 00:01:16,821 --> 00:01:19,399 I heard you were gay boy shopping with Hayden. 35 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,690 I need someone new to do my community service. 36 00:01:21,691 --> 00:01:23,949 Again? What's wrong with the shadow workshop? 37 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:27,149 I mean, you call one kid a spazzo, and then he starts crying, and then all the 38 00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:30,469 other retards start crying with not hanging out their nose, and then 39 00:01:30,470 --> 00:01:33,900 I'm public enemy number one. Get a grip, people. Jesus Christ, Pascal. 40 00:01:34,230 --> 00:01:36,150 What? He was giving me an unwanted hug. 41 00:01:36,151 --> 00:01:39,309 Christ, this rate will take me years to work off my hours. 42 00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,869 They might as well just send me to prison to be ravaged by bulldogs. 43 00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:43,980 All right, I'll see what I can do, eh? Cool. 44 00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:45,180 I love you. 45 00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:46,910 And Hayden has a deformed penis. 46 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,240 Pascal says hi. 47 00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:52,950 I'll sort it out, Tommy. 48 00:01:52,951 --> 00:01:53,769 Like what? 49 00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:54,820 What do you care? 50 00:01:54,821 --> 00:01:57,069 It's the only way she can do a community service. You don't have to worry about 51 00:01:57,070 --> 00:02:00,260 it. Just don't tell Pascal it was me she'll melt down in your face. 52 00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:05,270 You see, your sister is precisely the reason why I am a bachelor for life. 53 00:02:05,271 --> 00:02:09,089 You let a woman get too close, then they want to rule you for the rest of your 54 00:02:09,090 --> 00:02:10,140 life. 55 00:02:12,190 --> 00:02:13,240 Keep very weird. 56 00:02:13,310 --> 00:02:14,360 I'm bored. 57 00:02:14,361 --> 00:02:16,609 Everyone's gone home because we've run out of leopard print. 58 00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:19,149 And Cheryl's gone off to argue with the supplier, so there's no one I can be 59 00:02:19,150 --> 00:02:19,649 mean to. 60 00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:20,389 Where are you? 61 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,440 Just out. 62 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:25,560 Hmm, gay boys shopping with Hayden. Two men shopping together is not gay. 63 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,800 Yeah, we were shopping for power soles. 64 00:02:27,801 --> 00:02:29,059 Where are you going for lunch? 65 00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:30,539 Who says we're going for lunch? 66 00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:33,179 Well, you always go for lunch when you're out being gay together. 67 00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:34,199 Usual place? 68 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,340 Yeah, the usual place. 69 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:36,730 See you there. 70 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,460 Hayden's meeting us for lunch. 71 00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:27,200 We're naughty. 72 00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:28,740 It's all your fault. 73 00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:30,040 Like shit. 74 00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:33,109 You're the one that dragged me into bed in the middle of the afternoon. You 75 00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,310 dragged me more like. 76 00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:35,600 Why are we? 77 00:03:36,190 --> 00:03:37,530 You're a real slut, you are. 78 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,660 No, you're the slut. 79 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,440 Boys can't be sluts. 80 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,160 Yes, they can. 81 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:53,259 When they drag innocent girls off to their bed when they should be doing 82 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:56,040 housework, that's pretty slutty. 83 00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:03,059 Hey, you think the Seven Dwarves ever dragged Snow White off to bed when she 84 00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:04,140 doing her housework? 85 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,300 Yeah, all the time. 86 00:04:07,630 --> 00:04:09,690 It was a gangbang at Central. 87 00:04:09,691 --> 00:04:13,829 Man, if I'd known you had such a grubby mind, I never would have hooked up with 88 00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:14,880 you, eh? 89 00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:18,769 Well, see, now we have no secrets. 90 00:04:19,410 --> 00:04:20,460 Oh. Joyce. 91 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:28,410 You in love with her? 92 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:30,580 God, no. 93 00:04:30,630 --> 00:04:31,680 Had a mistake there. 94 00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,450 I'm not in love with Tracy, okay? 95 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,500 She must have twitched up. 96 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,530 We should order. She can catch up when she gets here. 97 00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:41,670 Tracey! 98 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,690 You can get the girls back. That bastard finally coughed up. 99 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,670 Hello? 100 00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:57,030 Tracey? 101 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,640 because I picked that piece of paper up? 102 00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:30,999 Pretty much. 103 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,659 It was lying there. What was I meant to do? If I want to read it, I've got to 104 00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:34,279 pick it up. 105 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,799 It's not my fault if whoever it was can't stick some pieces of paper to 106 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:38,850 piece of paper. 107 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,580 Poor bloody Gavin. Poor bloody who? 108 00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:45,420 Gavin. All the Asian kidnappings end up on his desk. 109 00:05:45,421 --> 00:05:47,539 He's the most overworked cop in Auckland. 110 00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:49,700 Oh, gee, I feel really sorry for Gav. 111 00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,960 No, it's a tough job for him. 112 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:55,590 Nobody likes him and all the families want him to piss off, you know. 113 00:05:55,591 --> 00:05:59,119 They want to do it on the quiet, honour and all that stuff. Hey, my business 114 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:03,119 partner and my son's girlfriend's been kidnapped here. Yeah, and Gavin's all 115 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,170 over it. 116 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,140 Hey, Mum. 117 00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:18,830 What is it? 118 00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:21,860 Sorry, she's been what? 119 00:06:25,189 --> 00:06:27,970 Why? I mean, um, is there a note? 120 00:06:31,330 --> 00:06:32,380 Yeah, okay. 121 00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:33,940 Sure. 122 00:06:34,530 --> 00:06:35,970 Um, thanks for calling. 123 00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:41,860 What? 124 00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:44,550 Tracy's been kidnapped. 125 00:06:44,551 --> 00:06:46,469 No, I'm kidding. 126 00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:49,060 No, I'm serious, man. There's a note and everything. 127 00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:50,800 Bloody hell. 128 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,450 Yeah. I don't know where to go. 129 00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:03,370 Go to Tracy's. Yeah, she lives with her parents. So? 130 00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:05,710 Well, they shifted recently. 131 00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:07,130 I don't exactly know where. 132 00:07:07,131 --> 00:07:09,989 She doesn't actually know where she lives. 133 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:12,570 I mean, she probably told me, but... But you forgot. 134 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,670 Well, I never wrote it down. 135 00:07:15,441 --> 00:07:17,409 All right. 136 00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:18,910 Makes things a little awkward. 137 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,050 Who did what? 138 00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:32,860 Our mutual problem. 139 00:07:32,861 --> 00:07:34,319 Who is this? 140 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,370 You know. 141 00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,200 No, I don't think so, Creed. 142 00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:41,910 What? 143 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,740 Hello? It's me. 144 00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:47,710 Me who? 145 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,090 I can't say it over the phone again or someone might be listening. 146 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,070 Yeah, well, it won't be me if you don't tell me who you are. 147 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,330 Thanks. 148 00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:00,710 What problem? 149 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:05,020 The one that's been making our lives a misery. My whole life is a misery. 150 00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:09,000 The one with the initials T -H. 151 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,060 Someone with the initials T -H is making our lives a misery. 152 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:18,200 God, Eric, how am I supposed to know who the hell you're talking about? I see. 153 00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:20,280 What about her? 154 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,560 I've arranged a little Chinese tank away. 155 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,050 You're feeding her? 156 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,640 No, she's Chinese and I've taken her away. 157 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,280 You've kidnapped her. 158 00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:36,558 Don't say it over the phone. Well, I hope someone is listening. Then they can 159 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,699 hear me say that I have nothing to do with this. 160 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:43,419 I don't know you. 161 00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:46,290 I don't know who you are. I've never met you in my life. 162 00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:03,900 I can hear you breathing. 163 00:09:03,901 --> 00:09:07,259 Enjoy it while you can, mister, because when I get my hands on you, you won't be 164 00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:08,400 breathing much longer. 165 00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:10,900 Are you fucking listening to me? 166 00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:13,800 No one fucks with the homes. 167 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,800 Thought you didn't work here. 168 00:09:17,711 --> 00:09:19,679 I fill in. 169 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:20,730 What do you want? 170 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,620 Strangely, I want to rent some DVDs. 171 00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:25,140 Well, I've got plenty to choose from. 172 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,500 You've got Footrot Sluts. 173 00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:28,140 Sorry? Footrot Sluts. 174 00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:31,640 Footrot Flats, the New Zealand animated film. 175 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,130 No, foot -rot sluts, New Zealand porn film. 176 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,300 Not actually animated. 177 00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,750 Well, except for maybe during the money shot. 178 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:43,179 Ooh. Well, Beyond Reasonable Length, The End of the Golden Shower, and Whale Boy 179 00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:45,020 Rider. Whale Boy Rider? 180 00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:47,639 Yeah, apparently the lead actor's hung like one. 181 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:48,539 A whale? 182 00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:49,960 Yeah. Going back to ooh? 183 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,560 Have you got them or not? 184 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,830 No. Well, how do you know if you only fill in? 185 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,220 I didn't... Do. 186 00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:01,490 Try to place it up on K Road if you're in need of some executive stress relief. 187 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,620 It's not for wanking. This is business. 188 00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:05,660 Whatever. Serious. 189 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,820 This guy I met makes porn films. 190 00:10:07,821 --> 00:10:09,479 Real low cost. 191 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,439 Straight to DVD. There's no marketing expense. He just bangs them on the 192 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,979 and before you can say, whack me, daddy -o, they're walking out the door. 193 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,030 Well, so he says. 194 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,060 Why did I care about this? 195 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,770 Because I want to check out the merchandise before I invest. 196 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,720 Are you going to do the oozing again? 197 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,470 Sounds like a bullshit artist to me. 198 00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:34,420 True. 199 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,010 Gave me a script, though. 200 00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:48,270 An anal on my table. 201 00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,280 That's disgusting. 202 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:52,540 You think? 203 00:10:52,541 --> 00:10:55,659 He said it was drawing on a great New Zealand literary reference. 204 00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:58,899 But if I wanted to, I could change the title to The Boner People on account of 205 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:02,479 the three -way near the end. So I guess it's not that closely based on the 206 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,530 books, eh? 207 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,850 Hang on, you know a lot about films, right? 208 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,650 Why? 209 00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:12,420 Well, read the script. 210 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,630 I'll come back later. You can tell me what you think. What if I don't care? 211 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,660 You hear Tracy got kidnapped? 212 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:22,370 No way. 213 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:23,970 Crazy world, eh? 214 00:11:28,071 --> 00:11:33,879 Sorry. Are you pissed off with me because I called the cops? 215 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,710 I understand your first reaction was to call the police. 216 00:11:36,711 --> 00:11:39,099 But there are better ways of filtering these things. 217 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:42,259 Oh, sorry. Well, look, you know, if I'd had the 20 grand myself, I'd have called 218 00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:43,179 the kidnappers. 219 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,700 20 ,000 is a bargain, really. 220 00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:46,360 Well, then pay it. Get it back. 221 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,939 Please. Speak to no one else from now on. Jesus, Mr. Hong, your daughter's 222 00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:51,990 kidnapped. 223 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,530 Hey, Mum. 224 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,840 And Mr. Hong. 225 00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:56,960 And Mr. 226 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,290 Hong. 227 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:00,890 And baby, y 'all. 228 00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:08,180 So do you guys hear the news? 229 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,600 No. Tracy's been kidnapped. 230 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,960 Really? Man, that's awful. 231 00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:15,810 We'll just let you guys sort that out then, eh? 232 00:12:20,111 --> 00:12:26,859 Your brain is shut down at the one time you need it to work. She's standing 233 00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:28,140 there with my baby. 234 00:12:28,141 --> 00:12:30,159 Yeah, she's standing there with your baby. 235 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,660 She's standing next to Aurora. 236 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:32,900 Aurora knows nothing. 237 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:36,290 And if you wanted to stay that way, you'd do exactly what I say. 238 00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:37,710 Okay. 239 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,980 What? What? 240 00:12:41,981 --> 00:12:45,959 You said I've got to do exactly what you say, and then you didn't say anything. 241 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,539 I was making sure you were listening. 242 00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:49,559 Where the fuck else would I be listening to, man? 243 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:50,900 Okay, okay, okay. 244 00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:55,310 You need to remember that even though the baby is yours, it isn't yours. 245 00:12:57,050 --> 00:12:58,610 But it is. No, it's not. 246 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:02,329 Yeah, it is. Mr. Hong's sperm are all bung and they swim all over the place in 247 00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:03,129 the wrong direction. 248 00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,240 You know that. Susie knows that. No one else. 249 00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:07,290 Okay? Remember, the baby isn't yours. 250 00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:12,010 Okay. Most importantly, don't make eye contact with the baby. 251 00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:13,260 No eye contact. 252 00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:17,800 Why? Because if you do, that's it. You've bonded. 253 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,380 Bonded? Hmm. 254 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:24,639 Well, I think that's a really sensible idea in view of everything that happens. 255 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,180 Hey, this is Jasmine. 256 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:27,730 Isn't she gorgeous? 257 00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:29,320 Mmm, yep, awesome. 258 00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:32,020 Van? Yes, Mum? 259 00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:34,260 Mr Hong's got a job for you. Okay, cool. 260 00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:38,600 These people who have taken Tracy, I'm worried they may not stop there. 261 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,080 Oh, you think they might kill her? 262 00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:44,720 I'm thinking more they might try to take my other daughter. 263 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,500 Right. Which is why we've been talking. 264 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,600 I want her to come to the house. 265 00:13:49,601 --> 00:13:50,989 To protect Jasmine. 266 00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:54,150 What? Stay at the house and look after the kid. 267 00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:59,790 Yeah. Are you sure that's such a good idea? I think it's a great idea, babe. 268 00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,520 They've set the price so low for one daughter. 269 00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:04,550 Clearly they'll come back for more. 270 00:14:05,050 --> 00:14:08,350 Do you reckon? I'm not fucking Kmart. 271 00:14:08,351 --> 00:14:09,809 It's all right, darling. It's okay. 272 00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:12,470 Anything we can do to get your daughter back safely. 273 00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,900 There's too good a word for it. 274 00:14:25,901 --> 00:14:27,699 It's porn. 275 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,279 Doesn't it feel good? No, not when it makes no sense. 276 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,330 It makes no sense. 277 00:14:31,331 --> 00:14:33,059 It makes perfect sense when I read it. 278 00:14:33,060 --> 00:14:34,600 Boy meets girl, they screw. 279 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,690 Other people join in, they all screw like bunny. The end. 280 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,590 Oh my God, is your head going to explode? 281 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:43,650 The first scene. 282 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,120 If you can even call it a scene. 283 00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:48,190 He knocks on the door. 284 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:49,410 She opens it. 285 00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:52,700 And... They screw? 286 00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:53,979 They... Hey, screw! 287 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,540 Why? Because it's a porn film. 288 00:14:56,620 --> 00:15:03,300 In what universe does a plumber knock on the door, the woman opens the door, 289 00:15:03,301 --> 00:15:07,359 he says, I've come about your plumbing, and then two seconds later, she's having 290 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,040 sex with him on her kitchen bench? 291 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,840 I don't know. I'm not a plumber. 292 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,860 In no universe is the answer. 293 00:15:13,861 --> 00:15:15,159 Well, how would you know? 294 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:18,139 From what I hear, you're not exactly the world's leading expert when it comes to 295 00:15:18,140 --> 00:15:19,190 sex. 296 00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:22,949 Frigid was the word that Pascal... I know what Pascal says. It's not true. I 297 00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:24,000 have had sex. 298 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,220 Wow. 299 00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:32,649 The point is, this script is stupid and degrading. It is a series of unmotivated 300 00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:34,130 sex scenes with no plot. 301 00:15:34,131 --> 00:15:35,709 So it's a porn film, in other words. 302 00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:39,049 You wanted me to read your fucking script. I'm telling you what I think. 303 00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:40,370 Well, write me a better one. 304 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,700 Excuse me? Write me a porn film that you would watch. 305 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,620 Why? 306 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:50,559 Well, it's not a lot about films and stuff. You are a woman. 307 00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:52,290 Apparently you have had sex. 308 00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:55,269 And I bet you bugger all people are writing porn films for women, so... 309 00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:57,349 when it's for women, it's erotica? La -di -da. 310 00:15:57,350 --> 00:16:00,360 Write me the great erotica porn script and you can direct it. 311 00:16:00,650 --> 00:16:01,700 I'll pay for it. 312 00:16:02,110 --> 00:16:05,180 And I'll bet you a shitload of horny housewives will watch it. 313 00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:07,130 And I really get to direct it. 314 00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,830 If you think you're up to it, that is. 315 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:30,719 What? I have no 316 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:35,660 idea what the fuck you're saying. 317 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:39,810 Okay, 318 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,170 sure. 319 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:43,930 Whatever. 320 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:21,990 Kidnapped me. 321 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,210 What do you think? 322 00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:28,000 Money. And you're a bitch. 323 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,730 Fucking sticking your nose in where it's not wanted. 324 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:35,520 Getting right in between me and the West. The best friends they were. 325 00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:37,620 God, you're a loser. 326 00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:39,110 Oh, go on, fuck off. 327 00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:41,320 I'm kissing 20 grand goodbye. 328 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,910 You might as well call the cops on me as well. Really make my day. 329 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:46,650 20 grand? 330 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,600 You were ransoming me for $20 ,000? 331 00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:16,090 I didn't know where else to come, so I did. Okay, Amy? Fine. 332 00:19:16,430 --> 00:19:17,480 Yeah. 333 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,390 You hear what happened to Tracy? 334 00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:23,650 No. Why? 335 00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:24,990 What happened to her? 336 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,490 Someone kidnapped her. 337 00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:30,120 Oh. They're terrible. 338 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,080 I'm sure she'll be okay, though. 339 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,780 Thanks. Hey, Petco, I found someone new for you to do your community service. 340 00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:40,430 Oh, okay. 341 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,780 It's an old folks' home. 342 00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,820 What? Petco, not now. 343 00:20:07,659 --> 00:20:09,240 I bought Chinese food. 344 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,420 I suppose you guys just call it food, eh? 345 00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:19,160 Have you heard from the kidnappers? 346 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:20,690 No. 347 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,450 Okay. 348 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,240 I'll put the food on the bench. 349 00:20:25,551 --> 00:20:27,639 Help yourself. 350 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,690 Move home. 351 00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:34,390 Yeah? 352 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,500 Sorry, I cannot understand you. 353 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:45,620 No. You cannot understand a word. Maybe you spoke proper English. 354 00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:47,590 Uh -huh. 355 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,440 I'll let you know then. 356 00:20:56,110 --> 00:20:57,430 It was a mistake on the note. 357 00:20:58,230 --> 00:21:00,310 The sum they seek is $200 ,000. 358 00:21:00,850 --> 00:21:01,900 What? 359 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,310 He didn't sound too happy. 360 00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:09,430 Well, you just asked him for $200 ,000. 361 00:21:09,431 --> 00:21:12,109 Of course he's not going to sound happy. 362 00:21:12,110 --> 00:21:15,229 Has he got that kind of quid? Yeah, he's got an on -call account with a quarter 363 00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:16,280 of a million in it. 364 00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:18,190 Well, shall we go in for the lot? 365 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,930 $200 ,000 is acceptable. 366 00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:23,949 A lot more acceptable than $20 ,000. That's just insulting. 367 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:24,919 Hey! 368 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:28,040 I don't know fuck all about a kidnapping cake, all right? 369 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,330 Clearly not. 370 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,320 So you know what we call a close family? 371 00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:34,430 A few things I need. 372 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,320 What, I'm meant to buy all this? 373 00:21:39,321 --> 00:21:42,039 Yeah, well, you kidnapped me without my purse. 374 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,319 Where the fuck am I going to get moisturiser this time of night? None of 375 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,139 crap stuff. 376 00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:47,440 That'll cost me a fortune. 377 00:21:48,780 --> 00:21:51,610 I'm sure it'll work out cheaper than ten years in prison. 378 00:21:53,870 --> 00:21:54,950 I feel fucking guilty. 379 00:21:55,170 --> 00:21:56,220 About what? 380 00:21:56,221 --> 00:21:58,769 Tracy, who else? Did you organise the kidnapping? 381 00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:01,000 No. So what have you got to feel guilty about? 382 00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:04,520 I just feel like I should be doing something, you know? 383 00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:06,890 Well, maybe you do love Tracy. 384 00:22:07,350 --> 00:22:10,430 Maybe what you think is guilt is actually love. 385 00:22:11,770 --> 00:22:13,630 Concerned for the woman that you love. 386 00:22:14,610 --> 00:22:16,110 Well, it's entirely possible. 387 00:22:16,111 --> 00:22:19,529 If you think they're fucking tricky little bastards like that, they can 388 00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:21,150 on you when you least expect them. 389 00:22:31,719 --> 00:22:34,420 What is it? Why, no one will lift a finger to find us. 390 00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:36,680 Why the hell would that be? You know. 391 00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:40,880 No. Look, all these rumours of him being a triad, right? 392 00:22:40,881 --> 00:22:44,659 You guys can't be arsed because it's just chinko criminals sorting each other 393 00:22:44,660 --> 00:22:46,739 out. OK, now you're beginning to annoy me. Why? 394 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,019 Because you don't know how these things pan out. 395 00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:52,200 Gavin and his mob do. They're doing their best. Twin naps. 396 00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:56,219 Cheryl, we're on your side. I'm on your side, so stop giving it to me in the 397 00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:57,159 bloody neck. 398 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,840 I had no idea you were so sensitive. 399 00:23:00,530 --> 00:23:03,870 Yeah, well, I've no idea the shit I put up with because of you. 400 00:23:05,390 --> 00:23:06,970 You still getting crap at work? 401 00:23:07,430 --> 00:23:09,050 Yeah, kind of, sort of. 402 00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:11,050 I've kind of got bored of it now. 403 00:23:11,450 --> 00:23:12,710 Well, that's a good thing. 404 00:23:12,730 --> 00:23:13,780 Oh, yeah. 405 00:23:14,050 --> 00:23:15,100 Huge improvement. 406 00:23:15,390 --> 00:23:16,970 Being shunned is heaps better. 407 00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:18,880 I'm sorry. 408 00:23:18,970 --> 00:23:22,700 No friends of yours want to play with me because of your stinky girlfriend. 409 00:23:23,510 --> 00:23:26,850 It's also the fact that your friends don't want to play with me. 410 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:32,179 I can come and stay at your place, but I've got to be gone by dawn before 411 00:23:32,180 --> 00:23:33,230 sees me. 412 00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:37,030 Well, that's my family, not my friends. There's a big difference. 413 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,360 You're the same to me. 414 00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:41,270 Tracy loves me. 415 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,860 And look what happened to her. 416 00:23:51,380 --> 00:23:52,430 Here. 417 00:23:53,620 --> 00:23:55,040 I asked for shoes. 418 00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:57,380 Well, they go on your feet, don't they? 419 00:24:02,030 --> 00:24:05,929 for. Well, what do you want me to do? Rob Smith and bloody Coey? God, you're 420 00:24:05,930 --> 00:24:10,269 worst kidnapper in the world. Well, I'm sorry, but buying beauty supplies wasn't 421 00:24:10,270 --> 00:24:11,650 exactly part of my plan. 422 00:24:11,930 --> 00:24:14,970 Oh, you had a plan. Well, there's a turn up for the book. 423 00:24:16,150 --> 00:24:17,610 God, you're an ugly woman. 424 00:24:17,611 --> 00:24:18,849 I am not. 425 00:24:18,850 --> 00:24:19,900 On the inside. 426 00:24:20,530 --> 00:24:25,630 I mean, extorting money off your own father. What's all that about? 427 00:24:26,430 --> 00:24:27,480 I have my reasons. 428 00:24:27,481 --> 00:24:31,539 Crying for attention was it? I said I have my reasons and they're none of your 429 00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:32,590 business! 430 00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:46,779 Jesus Ted what 431 00:24:46,780 --> 00:24:47,899 the hell are you doing? 432 00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:48,950 Making a sandwich. 433 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:50,320 Have you seen the bread? 434 00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:51,460 I'll deal with this. 435 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,240 I told you to look after Grandpa. 436 00:24:59,300 --> 00:25:00,780 Were their lives in danger? 437 00:25:00,781 --> 00:25:02,319 Don't you get ticky with me. 438 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,610 I mean, I'm kind of busy right now. Doing what? 439 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:06,580 Writing, as it looks like. 440 00:25:06,581 --> 00:25:10,079 Is it too much to ask for a little help? I've got enough on my bloody plate 441 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:11,599 without having to deal with bloody ped. 442 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,719 Then ask Pascale. Pascale's got a meeting with her probation officer. 443 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,830 Yet, strangely, I'm the black sheep here. 444 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,760 You have to do the silly voice. 445 00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:28,680 If I don't do the voice, they'll know I'm not Asian. 446 00:25:28,681 --> 00:25:32,519 Derek, they already know that you're not Asian. They think I've been kidnapped 447 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,570 by Benny Hill. 448 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:37,919 Oh, well, I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't, aren't I? Just try 449 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,330 sound as vaguely threatening as possible, OK? 450 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,480 Yes. You have considered my offer? 451 00:26:01,580 --> 00:26:02,630 Yes. 452 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,090 And? 453 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,200 I do not deal with kidnappers. 454 00:26:14,860 --> 00:26:15,910 Younger? 455 00:26:17,380 --> 00:26:19,520 What? He doesn't deal with kidnappers? 456 00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,080 Maybe we should bring back an answer. 457 00:26:26,410 --> 00:26:27,460 for a hundred grand. 458 00:26:34,570 --> 00:26:35,620 So that's it. 459 00:26:36,010 --> 00:26:38,930 Bugger off and good luck, Tracy. You're on your own? 460 00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:42,189 Well, it's not a bad idea under the circumstances. How? 461 00:26:42,190 --> 00:26:45,749 Well, Gavin says as long as they're still haggling about the money, more 462 00:26:45,750 --> 00:26:46,729 it is she's still alive. 463 00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:47,989 No, but they're not haggling. 464 00:26:47,990 --> 00:26:49,670 They said no. How is that haggling? 465 00:26:51,230 --> 00:26:52,280 Jethro. 466 00:26:55,980 --> 00:26:57,030 God, you look awful. 467 00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:00,670 Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night. 468 00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:10,620 You heard anything? 469 00:27:13,020 --> 00:27:16,270 Well, on police advice, the Hongs are refusing to pay the ransom. 470 00:27:16,271 --> 00:27:17,399 Pay what? 471 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,450 200 grand. 472 00:27:18,451 --> 00:27:22,619 That's a lot of money. Not many people have that sort of money lowing around, 473 00:27:22,620 --> 00:27:23,670 they, Desiree? 474 00:27:27,660 --> 00:27:29,040 Well, I don't have 200 grand. 475 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:31,690 Right. 476 00:27:31,980 --> 00:27:33,480 I mean, she's your girlfriend. 477 00:27:33,481 --> 00:27:37,299 I'm sure if you did have that sort of money lying around, you'd pony up for 478 00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:39,830 wouldn't you? I said I don't have that kind of cash. 479 00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:41,410 Do you? 480 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,010 No, I don't. 481 00:27:44,860 --> 00:27:47,840 See, the thing is, I could pay it. 482 00:27:48,060 --> 00:27:49,110 With what? 483 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,530 Money from the job. 484 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,200 You got 200k left. 485 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,860 Like you do in Berlin, don't you? No. 486 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:00,380 But there's Wolf's share. 487 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,250 That's untouched. No, that is Wolf's money. 488 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,170 Well, do you know where he is? No, I don't. Do you? Nope. 489 00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:08,020 The money's just sitting there. 490 00:28:13,340 --> 00:28:18,359 Well, I guess if you love this girl that much, then I guess there's nothing 491 00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:19,410 stopping you. 492 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,080 Do you love Tracey that much? 493 00:28:29,770 --> 00:28:30,820 I've got to go. 494 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:33,030 One more thing about women. 495 00:28:34,470 --> 00:28:39,089 When you find one that gets under your skin, she gets into your heart. You're 496 00:28:39,090 --> 00:28:40,510 very soft. 497 00:28:41,670 --> 00:28:42,810 Do anything to keep her. 498 00:28:43,950 --> 00:28:45,000 Anything. 499 00:28:46,010 --> 00:28:47,510 Otherwise, don't even bother. 500 00:28:48,791 --> 00:28:52,149 Thanks, mate. There's a bunch of help. 501 00:28:52,150 --> 00:28:53,710 Yep. Thought you wouldn't get it. 502 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,340 Have you heard anything? 503 00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:02,590 No. 504 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,440 I'm sure she'll be okay, eh? 505 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:11,210 Yes. 506 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,160 Okay. Hey, baby. 507 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:19,730 Hey. 508 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:22,860 What are you doing here? 509 00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:24,270 Came to see you. 510 00:29:26,630 --> 00:29:29,670 Isn't she gorgeous? Yeah, she's cool. 511 00:29:29,671 --> 00:29:33,609 Now, are you sure you're going to be all right for an hour? Yeah, I will be just 512 00:29:33,610 --> 00:29:34,710 fine, won't we? 513 00:29:35,310 --> 00:29:37,480 Can anyone help me? I'm getting my legs wet. 514 00:29:38,190 --> 00:29:42,030 What about, you know, Tracy? 515 00:29:42,031 --> 00:29:45,669 What difference does it make if I wait here or at the leg waxes? If anything 516 00:29:45,670 --> 00:29:47,170 happens, just call me a mister. 517 00:29:47,630 --> 00:29:49,290 Yeah, but... Dan, look, look. 518 00:29:50,790 --> 00:29:51,930 She's opening her eyes. 519 00:29:57,610 --> 00:29:59,690 Isn't she just the most beautiful thing? 520 00:30:05,110 --> 00:30:10,210 Don't go freaking out or anything, but I really want one of these. 521 00:30:11,930 --> 00:30:13,010 I don't mean right now. 522 00:30:13,250 --> 00:30:19,009 And I don't mean that we should, like, kidnap this one or anything, but it 523 00:30:19,010 --> 00:30:20,810 be a real choice to have a baby one day. 524 00:30:31,150 --> 00:30:33,190 Don't you want a baby one? 525 00:30:33,430 --> 00:30:35,090 Yeah, sure. 526 00:30:37,930 --> 00:30:41,270 And I'd want one just like this one. 527 00:30:50,730 --> 00:30:51,780 Shit. 528 00:30:53,030 --> 00:30:54,080 Okay. 529 00:31:02,860 --> 00:31:03,910 have any secrets. 530 00:31:06,420 --> 00:31:08,060 Well, we do. 531 00:31:10,580 --> 00:31:12,380 You know what I reckon we ought to do? 532 00:31:12,381 --> 00:31:16,779 We should make one of them videos, you know, where I'm standing behind you in a 533 00:31:16,780 --> 00:31:21,319 hood and you're crying and pleading with the old man just to hand over the money 534 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,370 before I kill you. 535 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,780 You reckon that ought to do the trick? 536 00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:29,350 What? 537 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,900 I'm not doing that to my father. 538 00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:32,230 Oh! 539 00:31:32,330 --> 00:31:36,289 So it's all right to take his money just so long as he doesn't actually worry 540 00:31:36,290 --> 00:31:37,530 about you, I see. 541 00:31:37,810 --> 00:31:38,860 Shut up, Eric. 542 00:31:38,861 --> 00:31:41,889 I'll never understand you people. You might as well be living in another 543 00:31:41,890 --> 00:31:43,510 universe as far as I'm concerned. 544 00:31:44,110 --> 00:31:45,610 He's supposed to care. 545 00:31:46,010 --> 00:31:50,750 Why? Fathers are supposed to care about their daughters. 546 00:31:51,030 --> 00:31:55,949 Yes, well, daughters shouldn't hit their old man up for 200 grand in ransom 547 00:31:55,950 --> 00:31:57,210 money just to get noticed. 548 00:31:57,990 --> 00:32:01,450 Did he even ask to talk to me? Did he ask how I was to check if I was... 549 00:32:16,810 --> 00:32:17,870 I'm sure he does. 550 00:32:18,230 --> 00:32:20,690 You know, in his own way. 551 00:32:21,010 --> 00:32:22,090 Come on. 552 00:32:25,970 --> 00:32:27,930 What the fuck are you doing? 553 00:32:30,370 --> 00:32:32,210 Old habits, Gaia. 554 00:32:33,650 --> 00:32:34,700 Die wondering. 555 00:32:47,190 --> 00:32:51,530 Never, ever have figured that Jasmine was yours. 556 00:32:51,870 --> 00:32:52,920 Yeah. 557 00:32:53,630 --> 00:32:57,810 It's amazing, eh? I must have, like, Asian genes in me or something. 558 00:32:58,050 --> 00:32:59,130 I reckon. 559 00:32:59,410 --> 00:33:00,460 Yeah. 560 00:33:03,470 --> 00:33:05,330 So, you're cool with this? 561 00:33:08,090 --> 00:33:15,069 Van, when I lived with the gang, those guys had kids all 562 00:33:15,070 --> 00:33:16,120 over the place. 563 00:33:16,650 --> 00:33:22,449 And none of them ever looked at their kids with as much love as when you 564 00:33:22,450 --> 00:33:23,610 at Jasmine just before. 565 00:33:25,770 --> 00:33:28,330 I don't care about your past. 566 00:33:31,210 --> 00:33:32,430 I'm your future now. 567 00:33:40,770 --> 00:33:43,950 Well, I presume come and get it, come features was from you. 568 00:33:46,830 --> 00:33:47,880 It's an outline. 569 00:33:47,881 --> 00:33:49,269 What's that? 570 00:33:49,270 --> 00:33:52,429 It's like a script for idiots. When you like the outline, I'll write the actual 571 00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:53,480 script. Fair enough. 572 00:34:02,490 --> 00:34:03,540 What? 573 00:34:15,911 --> 00:34:20,718 Okay, this is not your fault. What's not my fault? 574 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,638 Well, you don't fully understand the needs of a porn film. This is a porn 575 00:34:23,639 --> 00:34:24,499 for women. 576 00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:25,399 For women. 577 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,138 With an actual emotional heart. That's what you don't understand. No, I 578 00:34:28,139 --> 00:34:29,279 understand all of that. 579 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,279 Chopped girl has chance encounter with handsome older man, sparks a passion, 580 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,019 battles with her inner self before giving in and they get it on. I get all 581 00:34:35,020 --> 00:34:35,819 It's hard not to. 582 00:34:35,820 --> 00:34:37,920 So, what's so wrong with it? 583 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:39,440 Well, it's a porn film. 584 00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:43,060 Yes. For women. But they don't shag until right at the very end. So? 585 00:34:43,061 --> 00:34:45,959 So they don't shag until the very end. Yeah, there's erotic tension. 586 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,010 But no shagging. 587 00:34:47,069 --> 00:34:48,119 What's your point? 588 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:52,609 Okay, this might be a great idea for a Mills and Boone novel. I don't know, I 589 00:34:52,610 --> 00:34:53,930 don't read Mills and Boone. 590 00:34:54,190 --> 00:34:57,920 But as far as porn goes, it's lacking a certain element. Can you guess what? 591 00:34:59,171 --> 00:35:02,089 Okay, see anything that you can. 592 00:35:02,090 --> 00:35:03,770 It's called sex, Loretta. 593 00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:08,000 Lots of sex. Sex at the beginning, sex at the middle and getting the end away. 594 00:35:08,990 --> 00:35:10,490 I'm sorry, this is all my fault. 595 00:35:10,980 --> 00:35:12,720 You know, I forgot how young you are. 596 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:18,080 Hey, I'm sorry that I'm not the walking glory hole that is my sister. 597 00:35:18,081 --> 00:35:21,919 Why don't you ask her to write your stupid script? Except, oh yeah, she's an 598 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,480 idiot and she can't write. 599 00:35:23,481 --> 00:35:26,899 Piss off out of my life and stop wasting my time. You should go and hang out 600 00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:29,999 with my dickhead brother because you two are made for each other. 601 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,940 But I want to fuck you, not him. 602 00:35:50,060 --> 00:35:51,110 What did you say? 603 00:35:51,420 --> 00:35:52,470 That's my future. 604 00:35:52,660 --> 00:35:56,760 Right there, surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of old people just like him. 605 00:35:57,340 --> 00:35:58,680 I hate old people. 606 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,780 Okay, so privacy's clearly a thing of the past. 607 00:36:14,220 --> 00:36:15,270 Oh, sorry. 608 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,240 My stuffman died and I was looking for a charger. Mine's at the office. 609 00:36:19,241 --> 00:36:22,589 And you thought you'd look through my private personal stuff while you're 610 00:36:22,590 --> 00:36:25,060 Well, it was just lying there. It's a lovely story. 611 00:36:25,061 --> 00:36:25,909 It's crap. 612 00:36:25,910 --> 00:36:27,650 No, no, no, it's really convincing. 613 00:36:27,651 --> 00:36:30,909 Especially the bit where the girl and the guy get together at the end. It's 614 00:36:30,910 --> 00:36:33,210 very, um... Heterosexual? 615 00:36:33,211 --> 00:36:38,029 You know, Mum, just because Pascal's looking at Dyke doesn't mean I'm gay. 616 00:36:38,030 --> 00:36:43,969 No, I didn't mean that. I just meant... You know, I really like the way the girl 617 00:36:43,970 --> 00:36:48,489 at the end of the short story decides to go for it. Even though she knows 618 00:36:48,490 --> 00:36:50,780 everyone's going to hate her for it in the end. 619 00:36:53,750 --> 00:36:56,040 That's what really got to me about your story. 620 00:37:01,750 --> 00:37:02,800 Thanks. 621 00:37:06,030 --> 00:37:09,340 It's not actually a short story, though. It's an outline for a film. 622 00:37:09,530 --> 00:37:10,580 Oh. 623 00:37:12,570 --> 00:37:15,770 What? No, no, I think it'll make a lovely film. No, what? 624 00:37:16,070 --> 00:37:17,120 Well, it's just that... 625 00:37:17,450 --> 00:37:21,370 The movies that I like, I like to have a bit more action up front. 626 00:37:21,371 --> 00:37:25,109 You mean sex? Well, sex, romance, whatever, rather than having to wait to 627 00:37:25,110 --> 00:37:26,160 end, you know. 628 00:37:26,690 --> 00:37:27,990 Grab life by the balls. 629 00:37:29,270 --> 00:37:30,320 Exactly. 630 00:37:30,930 --> 00:37:33,400 That is exactly what people should do sometimes. 631 00:37:34,030 --> 00:37:38,590 Stop thinking and worrying about all the shit and clean up the mess afterwards. 632 00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:43,560 Anyway, 633 00:37:44,070 --> 00:37:45,130 I need to get to work. 634 00:37:45,590 --> 00:37:46,640 Okay. 635 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,340 So you're involved in a crime, but you can't tell me what the crime was. 636 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,080 But the victim of the crime is just as guilty as you are. 637 00:37:55,340 --> 00:38:00,679 Yeah, that's about the size of it. And I just need to know my rights in case the 638 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:04,350 so -called victim decides to take matters further with the authorities. 639 00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:05,790 And is this likely? 640 00:38:05,791 --> 00:38:09,499 Well, if I knew to answer that question, I wouldn't be here. Well, if I knew 641 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,559 what the fuck you were talking about, I might be able to help. 642 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,140 That's not very loyally, is it? 643 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:14,920 Swearing at your clients? 644 00:38:14,940 --> 00:38:15,990 Eric. 645 00:38:16,430 --> 00:38:18,030 What type of crime was it? 646 00:38:20,830 --> 00:38:27,129 It was sort of 647 00:38:27,130 --> 00:38:33,810 in the way of being... You. 648 00:38:45,811 --> 00:38:47,779 You took Tracy. 649 00:38:47,780 --> 00:38:49,840 Oh, now, I didn't mention any names. 650 00:38:49,841 --> 00:38:52,059 Yes, all right, all right, I took her. You're kidding, that's my fucking 651 00:38:52,060 --> 00:38:55,819 girlfriend. And then you come here. You're the only lawyer I know, Jethro. 652 00:38:55,820 --> 00:38:57,040 besides, she was in on it. 653 00:38:57,940 --> 00:38:59,200 What? Oh, yes. 654 00:38:59,201 --> 00:39:03,739 Well, not at the beginning, but she very quickly took over. She's one tough 655 00:39:03,740 --> 00:39:04,880 lady, your girlfriend. 656 00:39:13,660 --> 00:39:14,710 Where is she now? 657 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,559 Well, I don't know. She bloody kung -fu'd me in the nuts and then took off 658 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,739 because no bastard paid her rents and money. 659 00:39:20,740 --> 00:39:24,640 This is the last kidnapping I ever get involved in, I can tell you. 660 00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:32,199 What brought this on? Well, I've just become aware recently that sometimes 661 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,640 a really good idea to grab life by the balls. 662 00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:39,980 OK. So are you in or are you out? 663 00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:44,120 Sure. You're a braver man than me. 664 00:39:45,100 --> 00:39:46,150 And I'm sorry. 665 00:39:46,151 --> 00:39:47,539 For what? 666 00:39:47,540 --> 00:39:50,700 For not grabbing you by the balls earlier. 667 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,050 It's okay. 668 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,120 Has anyone seen my car, please? 669 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,210 Truth. 670 00:40:01,980 --> 00:40:03,280 It was just one guy. 671 00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:05,500 One weirdo. Yeah. 672 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,000 He kept trying to touch me, you know? 673 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,660 God, thank you. No. 674 00:40:12,270 --> 00:40:13,590 Couldn't place his accent. 675 00:40:14,330 --> 00:40:17,670 Maybe Taiwan. 676 00:40:17,950 --> 00:40:19,950 When I had a chance to escape, I just ran. 677 00:40:21,150 --> 00:40:22,200 I was terrified. 678 00:40:23,510 --> 00:40:26,690 Especially when I found out you weren't going to pay the money. 679 00:40:28,290 --> 00:40:30,090 I really thought it was all over then. 680 00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:44,990 Do you have a script for me? No, but I do know how the first thing goes. 681 00:40:45,530 --> 00:40:46,580 How's that? 682 00:40:46,890 --> 00:40:51,730 She knocks on his door and says, if you want to fuck me, then fuck me. 683 00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:53,700 And he does. 684 00:40:57,630 --> 00:40:59,010 Yeah, yeah, that could work. 685 00:41:51,841 --> 00:41:55,399 Are you sure it's all right if I stay? 686 00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:56,450 Yeah, absolutely. 687 00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,140 Just, um, chuck it. 688 00:41:58,340 --> 00:41:59,540 Stuff wherever you want. 689 00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:02,420 Just for a few days, though. 690 00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,890 I don't really want to be around my so -called family right now. 691 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:11,570 Hey. 692 00:42:11,900 --> 00:42:12,950 Hey. 693 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,240 Everyone was really worried about you. 694 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,370 Honest. 695 00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:19,640 Not enough to actually pay the money. 696 00:42:23,310 --> 00:42:24,360 That's not true. 697 00:42:25,730 --> 00:42:27,530 I was on the verge of paying it myself. 698 00:42:28,810 --> 00:42:29,860 Really? 699 00:42:31,050 --> 00:42:32,100 Cross my heart. 700 00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:34,190 You have 200 grand. 701 00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:36,910 For you, I would have found it. 702 00:42:38,010 --> 00:42:40,540 Swindle it out of someone's account or something. 703 00:42:41,310 --> 00:42:42,360 That's really sweet. 704 00:42:44,070 --> 00:42:46,650 For you, anything. 705 00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:01,099 I drank like half a bottle of vodka by myself with nobody to keep me company 706 00:43:01,100 --> 00:43:06,320 last night. I still couldn't get to sleep. I kept dreaming of old people. 707 00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:10,659 Thousands and thousands of old people all crowding in on me and making sicko 708 00:43:10,660 --> 00:43:11,710 moaning noises. 709 00:43:11,860 --> 00:43:12,910 Mmm. 710 00:43:13,020 --> 00:43:14,070 Mmm. 711 00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:15,230 Mmm. 712 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,180 Then I woke up and the noise was coming from across the hall. 713 00:43:19,660 --> 00:43:23,899 Then at a war I was having this like humongous sex marathon all night long 714 00:43:23,900 --> 00:43:25,100 forced me to listen to it. 715 00:43:25,260 --> 00:43:27,790 Then I went and saw you, and you weren't even there. 716 00:43:28,860 --> 00:43:29,910 I was busy. 717 00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:38,060 Yeah, well, you officially missed the worst night of my life. Oh, until 718 00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:41,490 and tomorrow night, because nothing in my life can get any worse. 719 00:44:01,540 --> 00:44:04,240 So, I grab life by the balls. 720 00:44:05,140 --> 00:44:06,190 Ouch! 721 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:17,960 Okay, well, that went about as well as could be expected. 722 00:44:53,020 --> 00:44:57,000 This program was made with funding from New Zealand on Air. 723 00:44:57,050 --> 00:45:01,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 54538

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