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1
00:00:01,859 --> 00:00:03,820
You bought me a prither.
2
00:00:03,821 --> 00:00:06,519
Well, she already got it. I can exchange
it for a bowl of tequila.
3
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:07,570
No.
4
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,500
Grats. You're jealous.
5
00:00:09,501 --> 00:00:10,779
Of what?
6
00:00:10,780 --> 00:00:11,719
Your sister.
7
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,890
Because she's got him and you haven't.
Who?
8
00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:15,780
The one you've got feelings for.
9
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,200
Look, I do not have any feelings for
Hayden bloody Peters.
10
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,380
I would like to sleep in your place with
you.
11
00:00:22,381 --> 00:00:26,669
You'll have to piss off before everyone
else wakes up. What? These people are a
12
00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:28,029
pack of ticks letting you dry.
13
00:00:28,030 --> 00:00:31,069
And then, when things don't turn out the
way they want, they blame you for it
14
00:00:31,070 --> 00:00:34,589
and you let them. Ever since she came
in, she's been gunning for me. This is
15
00:00:34,590 --> 00:00:36,470
your fault, you evil Chinese witch!
16
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,390
Do you realise my entire family now
hates you?
17
00:00:39,610 --> 00:00:41,470
Yeah, not really scaring me that much.
18
00:00:41,471 --> 00:00:43,589
I've got nothing against women.
19
00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:44,640
I love women.
20
00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:47,660
But they can be real pain in the arse at
times, you know?
21
00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,550
Yeah. I had good trust.
22
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:51,169
You think?
23
00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:52,220
I'm not sure.
24
00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:55,410
The thing with women is knowing when to
push the off button.
25
00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:58,340
Yep. Thank you very much. That was fun.
26
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,850
Whoa, hang on. Back off. Getting too
close now.
27
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,070
Off button.
28
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,230
Made to black.
29
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:07,439
That striped shirt you had on before.
Try it on with those trousers.
30
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:08,490
Hey, am I right?
31
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,350
Jethro West.
32
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,860
I need your help again.
33
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:16,820
Pascal, I'm busy.
34
00:01:16,821 --> 00:01:19,399
I heard you were gay boy shopping with
Hayden.
35
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,690
I need someone new to do my community
service.
36
00:01:21,691 --> 00:01:23,949
Again? What's wrong with the shadow
workshop?
37
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:27,149
I mean, you call one kid a spazzo, and
then he starts crying, and then all the
38
00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:30,469
other retards start crying with not
hanging out their nose, and then
39
00:01:30,470 --> 00:01:33,900
I'm public enemy number one. Get a grip,
people. Jesus Christ, Pascal.
40
00:01:34,230 --> 00:01:36,150
What? He was giving me an unwanted hug.
41
00:01:36,151 --> 00:01:39,309
Christ, this rate will take me years to
work off my hours.
42
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,869
They might as well just send me to
prison to be ravaged by bulldogs.
43
00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:43,980
All right, I'll see what I can do, eh?
Cool.
44
00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:45,180
I love you.
45
00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:46,910
And Hayden has a deformed penis.
46
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,240
Pascal says hi.
47
00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:52,950
I'll sort it out, Tommy.
48
00:01:52,951 --> 00:01:53,769
Like what?
49
00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:54,820
What do you care?
50
00:01:54,821 --> 00:01:57,069
It's the only way she can do a community
service. You don't have to worry about
51
00:01:57,070 --> 00:02:00,260
it. Just don't tell Pascal it was me
she'll melt down in your face.
52
00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:05,270
You see, your sister is precisely the
reason why I am a bachelor for life.
53
00:02:05,271 --> 00:02:09,089
You let a woman get too close, then they
want to rule you for the rest of your
54
00:02:09,090 --> 00:02:10,140
life.
55
00:02:12,190 --> 00:02:13,240
Keep very weird.
56
00:02:13,310 --> 00:02:14,360
I'm bored.
57
00:02:14,361 --> 00:02:16,609
Everyone's gone home because we've run
out of leopard print.
58
00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:19,149
And Cheryl's gone off to argue with the
supplier, so there's no one I can be
59
00:02:19,150 --> 00:02:19,649
mean to.
60
00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:20,389
Where are you?
61
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,440
Just out.
62
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:25,560
Hmm, gay boys shopping with Hayden. Two
men shopping together is not gay.
63
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,800
Yeah, we were shopping for power soles.
64
00:02:27,801 --> 00:02:29,059
Where are you going for lunch?
65
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:30,539
Who says we're going for lunch?
66
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:33,179
Well, you always go for lunch when
you're out being gay together.
67
00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:34,199
Usual place?
68
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,340
Yeah, the usual place.
69
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:36,730
See you there.
70
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,460
Hayden's meeting us for lunch.
71
00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:27,200
We're naughty.
72
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:28,740
It's all your fault.
73
00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:30,040
Like shit.
74
00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:33,109
You're the one that dragged me into bed
in the middle of the afternoon. You
75
00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,310
dragged me more like.
76
00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:35,600
Why are we?
77
00:03:36,190 --> 00:03:37,530
You're a real slut, you are.
78
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,660
No, you're the slut.
79
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,440
Boys can't be sluts.
80
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,160
Yes, they can.
81
00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:53,259
When they drag innocent girls off to
their bed when they should be doing
82
00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:56,040
housework, that's pretty slutty.
83
00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:03,059
Hey, you think the Seven Dwarves ever
dragged Snow White off to bed when she
84
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:04,140
doing her housework?
85
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,300
Yeah, all the time.
86
00:04:07,630 --> 00:04:09,690
It was a gangbang at Central.
87
00:04:09,691 --> 00:04:13,829
Man, if I'd known you had such a grubby
mind, I never would have hooked up with
88
00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:14,880
you, eh?
89
00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:18,769
Well, see, now we have no secrets.
90
00:04:19,410 --> 00:04:20,460
Oh. Joyce.
91
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:28,410
You in love with her?
92
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:30,580
God, no.
93
00:04:30,630 --> 00:04:31,680
Had a mistake there.
94
00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,450
I'm not in love with Tracy, okay?
95
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,500
She must have twitched up.
96
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,530
We should order. She can catch up when
she gets here.
97
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:41,670
Tracey!
98
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,690
You can get the girls back. That bastard
finally coughed up.
99
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,670
Hello?
100
00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:57,030
Tracey?
101
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,640
because I picked that piece of paper up?
102
00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:30,999
Pretty much.
103
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,659
It was lying there. What was I meant to
do? If I want to read it, I've got to
104
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:34,279
pick it up.
105
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,799
It's not my fault if whoever it was
can't stick some pieces of paper to
106
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:38,850
piece of paper.
107
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,580
Poor bloody Gavin. Poor bloody who?
108
00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:45,420
Gavin. All the Asian kidnappings end up
on his desk.
109
00:05:45,421 --> 00:05:47,539
He's the most overworked cop in
Auckland.
110
00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:49,700
Oh, gee, I feel really sorry for Gav.
111
00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,960
No, it's a tough job for him.
112
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:55,590
Nobody likes him and all the families
want him to piss off, you know.
113
00:05:55,591 --> 00:05:59,119
They want to do it on the quiet, honour
and all that stuff. Hey, my business
114
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:03,119
partner and my son's girlfriend's been
kidnapped here. Yeah, and Gavin's all
115
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,170
over it.
116
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,140
Hey, Mum.
117
00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:18,830
What is it?
118
00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:21,860
Sorry, she's been what?
119
00:06:25,189 --> 00:06:27,970
Why? I mean, um, is there a note?
120
00:06:31,330 --> 00:06:32,380
Yeah, okay.
121
00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:33,940
Sure.
122
00:06:34,530 --> 00:06:35,970
Um, thanks for calling.
123
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:41,860
What?
124
00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:44,550
Tracy's been kidnapped.
125
00:06:44,551 --> 00:06:46,469
No, I'm kidding.
126
00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:49,060
No, I'm serious, man. There's a note and
everything.
127
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:50,800
Bloody hell.
128
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,450
Yeah. I don't know where to go.
129
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:03,370
Go to Tracy's. Yeah, she lives with her
parents. So?
130
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:05,710
Well, they shifted recently.
131
00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:07,130
I don't exactly know where.
132
00:07:07,131 --> 00:07:09,989
She doesn't actually know where she
lives.
133
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:12,570
I mean, she probably told me, but... But
you forgot.
134
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,670
Well, I never wrote it down.
135
00:07:15,441 --> 00:07:17,409
All right.
136
00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:18,910
Makes things a little awkward.
137
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,050
Who did what?
138
00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:32,860
Our mutual problem.
139
00:07:32,861 --> 00:07:34,319
Who is this?
140
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,370
You know.
141
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,200
No, I don't think so, Creed.
142
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:41,910
What?
143
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,740
Hello? It's me.
144
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:47,710
Me who?
145
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,090
I can't say it over the phone again or
someone might be listening.
146
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,070
Yeah, well, it won't be me if you don't
tell me who you are.
147
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,330
Thanks.
148
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:00,710
What problem?
149
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:05,020
The one that's been making our lives a
misery. My whole life is a misery.
150
00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:09,000
The one with the initials T -H.
151
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,060
Someone with the initials T -H is making
our lives a misery.
152
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:18,200
God, Eric, how am I supposed to know who
the hell you're talking about? I see.
153
00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:20,280
What about her?
154
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,560
I've arranged a little Chinese tank
away.
155
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,050
You're feeding her?
156
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,640
No, she's Chinese and I've taken her
away.
157
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,280
You've kidnapped her.
158
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:36,558
Don't say it over the phone. Well, I
hope someone is listening. Then they can
159
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,699
hear me say that I have nothing to do
with this.
160
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:43,419
I don't know you.
161
00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:46,290
I don't know who you are. I've never met
you in my life.
162
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:03,900
I can hear you breathing.
163
00:09:03,901 --> 00:09:07,259
Enjoy it while you can, mister, because
when I get my hands on you, you won't be
164
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:08,400
breathing much longer.
165
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:10,900
Are you fucking listening to me?
166
00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:13,800
No one fucks with the homes.
167
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,800
Thought you didn't work here.
168
00:09:17,711 --> 00:09:19,679
I fill in.
169
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:20,730
What do you want?
170
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,620
Strangely, I want to rent some DVDs.
171
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:25,140
Well, I've got plenty to choose from.
172
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,500
You've got Footrot Sluts.
173
00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:28,140
Sorry? Footrot Sluts.
174
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:31,640
Footrot Flats, the New Zealand animated
film.
175
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,130
No, foot -rot sluts, New Zealand porn
film.
176
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,300
Not actually animated.
177
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,750
Well, except for maybe during the money
shot.
178
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:43,179
Ooh. Well, Beyond Reasonable Length, The
End of the Golden Shower, and Whale Boy
179
00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:45,020
Rider. Whale Boy Rider?
180
00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:47,639
Yeah, apparently the lead actor's hung
like one.
181
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:48,539
A whale?
182
00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:49,960
Yeah. Going back to ooh?
183
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,560
Have you got them or not?
184
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,830
No. Well, how do you know if you only
fill in?
185
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,220
I didn't... Do.
186
00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:01,490
Try to place it up on K Road if you're
in need of some executive stress relief.
187
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,620
It's not for wanking. This is business.
188
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:05,660
Whatever. Serious.
189
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,820
This guy I met makes porn films.
190
00:10:07,821 --> 00:10:09,479
Real low cost.
191
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,439
Straight to DVD. There's no marketing
expense. He just bangs them on the
192
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,979
and before you can say, whack me, daddy
-o, they're walking out the door.
193
00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,030
Well, so he says.
194
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,060
Why did I care about this?
195
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,770
Because I want to check out the
merchandise before I invest.
196
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,720
Are you going to do the oozing again?
197
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,470
Sounds like a bullshit artist to me.
198
00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:34,420
True.
199
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,010
Gave me a script, though.
200
00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:48,270
An anal on my table.
201
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,280
That's disgusting.
202
00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:52,540
You think?
203
00:10:52,541 --> 00:10:55,659
He said it was drawing on a great New
Zealand literary reference.
204
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:58,899
But if I wanted to, I could change the
title to The Boner People on account of
205
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:02,479
the three -way near the end. So I guess
it's not that closely based on the
206
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,530
books, eh?
207
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,850
Hang on, you know a lot about films,
right?
208
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,650
Why?
209
00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:12,420
Well, read the script.
210
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,630
I'll come back later. You can tell me
what you think. What if I don't care?
211
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,660
You hear Tracy got kidnapped?
212
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:22,370
No way.
213
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:23,970
Crazy world, eh?
214
00:11:28,071 --> 00:11:33,879
Sorry. Are you pissed off with me
because I called the cops?
215
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,710
I understand your first reaction was to
call the police.
216
00:11:36,711 --> 00:11:39,099
But there are better ways of filtering
these things.
217
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:42,259
Oh, sorry. Well, look, you know, if I'd
had the 20 grand myself, I'd have called
218
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:43,179
the kidnappers.
219
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,700
20 ,000 is a bargain, really.
220
00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:46,360
Well, then pay it. Get it back.
221
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,939
Please. Speak to no one else from now
on. Jesus, Mr. Hong, your daughter's
222
00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:51,990
kidnapped.
223
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,530
Hey, Mum.
224
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,840
And Mr. Hong.
225
00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:56,960
And Mr.
226
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,290
Hong.
227
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:00,890
And baby, y 'all.
228
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:08,180
So do you guys hear the news?
229
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,600
No. Tracy's been kidnapped.
230
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,960
Really? Man, that's awful.
231
00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:15,810
We'll just let you guys sort that out
then, eh?
232
00:12:20,111 --> 00:12:26,859
Your brain is shut down at the one time
you need it to work. She's standing
233
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:28,140
there with my baby.
234
00:12:28,141 --> 00:12:30,159
Yeah, she's standing there with your
baby.
235
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,660
She's standing next to Aurora.
236
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:32,900
Aurora knows nothing.
237
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:36,290
And if you wanted to stay that way,
you'd do exactly what I say.
238
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:37,710
Okay.
239
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,980
What? What?
240
00:12:41,981 --> 00:12:45,959
You said I've got to do exactly what you
say, and then you didn't say anything.
241
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,539
I was making sure you were listening.
242
00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:49,559
Where the fuck else would I be listening
to, man?
243
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:50,900
Okay, okay, okay.
244
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:55,310
You need to remember that even though
the baby is yours, it isn't yours.
245
00:12:57,050 --> 00:12:58,610
But it is. No, it's not.
246
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:02,329
Yeah, it is. Mr. Hong's sperm are all
bung and they swim all over the place in
247
00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:03,129
the wrong direction.
248
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,240
You know that. Susie knows that. No one
else.
249
00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:07,290
Okay? Remember, the baby isn't yours.
250
00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:12,010
Okay. Most importantly, don't make eye
contact with the baby.
251
00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:13,260
No eye contact.
252
00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:17,800
Why? Because if you do, that's it.
You've bonded.
253
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,380
Bonded? Hmm.
254
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:24,639
Well, I think that's a really sensible
idea in view of everything that happens.
255
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,180
Hey, this is Jasmine.
256
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:27,730
Isn't she gorgeous?
257
00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:29,320
Mmm, yep, awesome.
258
00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:32,020
Van? Yes, Mum?
259
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:34,260
Mr Hong's got a job for you. Okay, cool.
260
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:38,600
These people who have taken Tracy, I'm
worried they may not stop there.
261
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,080
Oh, you think they might kill her?
262
00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:44,720
I'm thinking more they might try to take
my other daughter.
263
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,500
Right. Which is why we've been talking.
264
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,600
I want her to come to the house.
265
00:13:49,601 --> 00:13:50,989
To protect Jasmine.
266
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:54,150
What? Stay at the house and look after
the kid.
267
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:59,790
Yeah. Are you sure that's such a good
idea? I think it's a great idea, babe.
268
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,520
They've set the price so low for one
daughter.
269
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:04,550
Clearly they'll come back for more.
270
00:14:05,050 --> 00:14:08,350
Do you reckon? I'm not fucking Kmart.
271
00:14:08,351 --> 00:14:09,809
It's all right, darling. It's okay.
272
00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:12,470
Anything we can do to get your daughter
back safely.
273
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,900
There's too good a word for it.
274
00:14:25,901 --> 00:14:27,699
It's porn.
275
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,279
Doesn't it feel good? No, not when it
makes no sense.
276
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,330
It makes no sense.
277
00:14:31,331 --> 00:14:33,059
It makes perfect sense when I read it.
278
00:14:33,060 --> 00:14:34,600
Boy meets girl, they screw.
279
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,690
Other people join in, they all screw
like bunny. The end.
280
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,590
Oh my God, is your head going to
explode?
281
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:43,650
The first scene.
282
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,120
If you can even call it a scene.
283
00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:48,190
He knocks on the door.
284
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:49,410
She opens it.
285
00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:52,700
And... They screw?
286
00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:53,979
They... Hey, screw!
287
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,540
Why? Because it's a porn film.
288
00:14:56,620 --> 00:15:03,300
In what universe does a plumber knock on
the door, the woman opens the door,
289
00:15:03,301 --> 00:15:07,359
he says, I've come about your plumbing,
and then two seconds later, she's having
290
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,040
sex with him on her kitchen bench?
291
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,840
I don't know. I'm not a plumber.
292
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,860
In no universe is the answer.
293
00:15:13,861 --> 00:15:15,159
Well, how would you know?
294
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:18,139
From what I hear, you're not exactly the
world's leading expert when it comes to
295
00:15:18,140 --> 00:15:19,190
sex.
296
00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:22,949
Frigid was the word that Pascal... I
know what Pascal says. It's not true. I
297
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:24,000
have had sex.
298
00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,220
Wow.
299
00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:32,649
The point is, this script is stupid and
degrading. It is a series of unmotivated
300
00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:34,130
sex scenes with no plot.
301
00:15:34,131 --> 00:15:35,709
So it's a porn film, in other words.
302
00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:39,049
You wanted me to read your fucking
script. I'm telling you what I think.
303
00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:40,370
Well, write me a better one.
304
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,700
Excuse me? Write me a porn film that you
would watch.
305
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,620
Why?
306
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:50,559
Well, it's not a lot about films and
stuff. You are a woman.
307
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:52,290
Apparently you have had sex.
308
00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:55,269
And I bet you bugger all people are
writing porn films for women, so...
309
00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:57,349
when it's for women, it's erotica? La
-di -da.
310
00:15:57,350 --> 00:16:00,360
Write me the great erotica porn script
and you can direct it.
311
00:16:00,650 --> 00:16:01,700
I'll pay for it.
312
00:16:02,110 --> 00:16:05,180
And I'll bet you a shitload of horny
housewives will watch it.
313
00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:07,130
And I really get to direct it.
314
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,830
If you think you're up to it, that is.
315
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:30,719
What? I have no
316
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:35,660
idea what the fuck you're saying.
317
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:39,810
Okay,
318
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,170
sure.
319
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:43,930
Whatever.
320
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:21,990
Kidnapped me.
321
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,210
What do you think?
322
00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:28,000
Money. And you're a bitch.
323
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,730
Fucking sticking your nose in where it's
not wanted.
324
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:35,520
Getting right in between me and the
West. The best friends they were.
325
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:37,620
God, you're a loser.
326
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:39,110
Oh, go on, fuck off.
327
00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:41,320
I'm kissing 20 grand goodbye.
328
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,910
You might as well call the cops on me as
well. Really make my day.
329
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:46,650
20 grand?
330
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,600
You were ransoming me for $20 ,000?
331
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:16,090
I didn't know where else to come, so I
did. Okay, Amy? Fine.
332
00:19:16,430 --> 00:19:17,480
Yeah.
333
00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,390
You hear what happened to Tracy?
334
00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:23,650
No. Why?
335
00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:24,990
What happened to her?
336
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,490
Someone kidnapped her.
337
00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:30,120
Oh. They're terrible.
338
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,080
I'm sure she'll be okay, though.
339
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,780
Thanks. Hey, Petco, I found someone new
for you to do your community service.
340
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:40,430
Oh, okay.
341
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,780
It's an old folks' home.
342
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,820
What? Petco, not now.
343
00:20:07,659 --> 00:20:09,240
I bought Chinese food.
344
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,420
I suppose you guys just call it food,
eh?
345
00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:19,160
Have you heard from the kidnappers?
346
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:20,690
No.
347
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,450
Okay.
348
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,240
I'll put the food on the bench.
349
00:20:25,551 --> 00:20:27,639
Help yourself.
350
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,690
Move home.
351
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:34,390
Yeah?
352
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,500
Sorry, I cannot understand you.
353
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:45,620
No. You cannot understand a word. Maybe
you spoke proper English.
354
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:47,590
Uh -huh.
355
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,440
I'll let you know then.
356
00:20:56,110 --> 00:20:57,430
It was a mistake on the note.
357
00:20:58,230 --> 00:21:00,310
The sum they seek is $200 ,000.
358
00:21:00,850 --> 00:21:01,900
What?
359
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,310
He didn't sound too happy.
360
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:09,430
Well, you just asked him for $200 ,000.
361
00:21:09,431 --> 00:21:12,109
Of course he's not going to sound happy.
362
00:21:12,110 --> 00:21:15,229
Has he got that kind of quid? Yeah, he's
got an on -call account with a quarter
363
00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:16,280
of a million in it.
364
00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:18,190
Well, shall we go in for the lot?
365
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,930
$200 ,000 is acceptable.
366
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:23,949
A lot more acceptable than $20 ,000.
That's just insulting.
367
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:24,919
Hey!
368
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:28,040
I don't know fuck all about a kidnapping
cake, all right?
369
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,330
Clearly not.
370
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,320
So you know what we call a close family?
371
00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:34,430
A few things I need.
372
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,320
What, I'm meant to buy all this?
373
00:21:39,321 --> 00:21:42,039
Yeah, well, you kidnapped me without my
purse.
374
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,319
Where the fuck am I going to get
moisturiser this time of night? None of
375
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,139
crap stuff.
376
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:47,440
That'll cost me a fortune.
377
00:21:48,780 --> 00:21:51,610
I'm sure it'll work out cheaper than ten
years in prison.
378
00:21:53,870 --> 00:21:54,950
I feel fucking guilty.
379
00:21:55,170 --> 00:21:56,220
About what?
380
00:21:56,221 --> 00:21:58,769
Tracy, who else? Did you organise the
kidnapping?
381
00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:01,000
No. So what have you got to feel guilty
about?
382
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:04,520
I just feel like I should be doing
something, you know?
383
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:06,890
Well, maybe you do love Tracy.
384
00:22:07,350 --> 00:22:10,430
Maybe what you think is guilt is
actually love.
385
00:22:11,770 --> 00:22:13,630
Concerned for the woman that you love.
386
00:22:14,610 --> 00:22:16,110
Well, it's entirely possible.
387
00:22:16,111 --> 00:22:19,529
If you think they're fucking tricky
little bastards like that, they can
388
00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:21,150
on you when you least expect them.
389
00:22:31,719 --> 00:22:34,420
What is it? Why, no one will lift a
finger to find us.
390
00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:36,680
Why the hell would that be? You know.
391
00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:40,880
No. Look, all these rumours of him being
a triad, right?
392
00:22:40,881 --> 00:22:44,659
You guys can't be arsed because it's
just chinko criminals sorting each other
393
00:22:44,660 --> 00:22:46,739
out. OK, now you're beginning to annoy
me. Why?
394
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,019
Because you don't know how these things
pan out.
395
00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:52,200
Gavin and his mob do. They're doing
their best. Twin naps.
396
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:56,219
Cheryl, we're on your side. I'm on your
side, so stop giving it to me in the
397
00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:57,159
bloody neck.
398
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,840
I had no idea you were so sensitive.
399
00:23:00,530 --> 00:23:03,870
Yeah, well, I've no idea the shit I put
up with because of you.
400
00:23:05,390 --> 00:23:06,970
You still getting crap at work?
401
00:23:07,430 --> 00:23:09,050
Yeah, kind of, sort of.
402
00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:11,050
I've kind of got bored of it now.
403
00:23:11,450 --> 00:23:12,710
Well, that's a good thing.
404
00:23:12,730 --> 00:23:13,780
Oh, yeah.
405
00:23:14,050 --> 00:23:15,100
Huge improvement.
406
00:23:15,390 --> 00:23:16,970
Being shunned is heaps better.
407
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:18,880
I'm sorry.
408
00:23:18,970 --> 00:23:22,700
No friends of yours want to play with me
because of your stinky girlfriend.
409
00:23:23,510 --> 00:23:26,850
It's also the fact that your friends
don't want to play with me.
410
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:32,179
I can come and stay at your place, but
I've got to be gone by dawn before
411
00:23:32,180 --> 00:23:33,230
sees me.
412
00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:37,030
Well, that's my family, not my friends.
There's a big difference.
413
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,360
You're the same to me.
414
00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:41,270
Tracy loves me.
415
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,860
And look what happened to her.
416
00:23:51,380 --> 00:23:52,430
Here.
417
00:23:53,620 --> 00:23:55,040
I asked for shoes.
418
00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:57,380
Well, they go on your feet, don't they?
419
00:24:02,030 --> 00:24:05,929
for. Well, what do you want me to do?
Rob Smith and bloody Coey? God, you're
420
00:24:05,930 --> 00:24:10,269
worst kidnapper in the world. Well, I'm
sorry, but buying beauty supplies wasn't
421
00:24:10,270 --> 00:24:11,650
exactly part of my plan.
422
00:24:11,930 --> 00:24:14,970
Oh, you had a plan. Well, there's a turn
up for the book.
423
00:24:16,150 --> 00:24:17,610
God, you're an ugly woman.
424
00:24:17,611 --> 00:24:18,849
I am not.
425
00:24:18,850 --> 00:24:19,900
On the inside.
426
00:24:20,530 --> 00:24:25,630
I mean, extorting money off your own
father. What's all that about?
427
00:24:26,430 --> 00:24:27,480
I have my reasons.
428
00:24:27,481 --> 00:24:31,539
Crying for attention was it? I said I
have my reasons and they're none of your
429
00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:32,590
business!
430
00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:46,779
Jesus Ted what
431
00:24:46,780 --> 00:24:47,899
the hell are you doing?
432
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:48,950
Making a sandwich.
433
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:50,320
Have you seen the bread?
434
00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:51,460
I'll deal with this.
435
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,240
I told you to look after Grandpa.
436
00:24:59,300 --> 00:25:00,780
Were their lives in danger?
437
00:25:00,781 --> 00:25:02,319
Don't you get ticky with me.
438
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,610
I mean, I'm kind of busy right now.
Doing what?
439
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:06,580
Writing, as it looks like.
440
00:25:06,581 --> 00:25:10,079
Is it too much to ask for a little help?
I've got enough on my bloody plate
441
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:11,599
without having to deal with bloody ped.
442
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,719
Then ask Pascale. Pascale's got a
meeting with her probation officer.
443
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,830
Yet, strangely, I'm the black sheep
here.
444
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,760
You have to do the silly voice.
445
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:28,680
If I don't do the voice, they'll know
I'm not Asian.
446
00:25:28,681 --> 00:25:32,519
Derek, they already know that you're not
Asian. They think I've been kidnapped
447
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,570
by Benny Hill.
448
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:37,919
Oh, well, I'm damned if I do and I'm
damned if I don't, aren't I? Just try
449
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,330
sound as vaguely threatening as
possible, OK?
450
00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,480
Yes. You have considered my offer?
451
00:26:01,580 --> 00:26:02,630
Yes.
452
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,090
And?
453
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,200
I do not deal with kidnappers.
454
00:26:14,860 --> 00:26:15,910
Younger?
455
00:26:17,380 --> 00:26:19,520
What? He doesn't deal with kidnappers?
456
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,080
Maybe we should bring back an answer.
457
00:26:26,410 --> 00:26:27,460
for a hundred grand.
458
00:26:34,570 --> 00:26:35,620
So that's it.
459
00:26:36,010 --> 00:26:38,930
Bugger off and good luck, Tracy. You're
on your own?
460
00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:42,189
Well, it's not a bad idea under the
circumstances. How?
461
00:26:42,190 --> 00:26:45,749
Well, Gavin says as long as they're
still haggling about the money, more
462
00:26:45,750 --> 00:26:46,729
it is she's still alive.
463
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:47,989
No, but they're not haggling.
464
00:26:47,990 --> 00:26:49,670
They said no. How is that haggling?
465
00:26:51,230 --> 00:26:52,280
Jethro.
466
00:26:55,980 --> 00:26:57,030
God, you look awful.
467
00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:00,670
Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last
night.
468
00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:10,620
You heard anything?
469
00:27:13,020 --> 00:27:16,270
Well, on police advice, the Hongs are
refusing to pay the ransom.
470
00:27:16,271 --> 00:27:17,399
Pay what?
471
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,450
200 grand.
472
00:27:18,451 --> 00:27:22,619
That's a lot of money. Not many people
have that sort of money lowing around,
473
00:27:22,620 --> 00:27:23,670
they, Desiree?
474
00:27:27,660 --> 00:27:29,040
Well, I don't have 200 grand.
475
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:31,690
Right.
476
00:27:31,980 --> 00:27:33,480
I mean, she's your girlfriend.
477
00:27:33,481 --> 00:27:37,299
I'm sure if you did have that sort of
money lying around, you'd pony up for
478
00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:39,830
wouldn't you? I said I don't have that
kind of cash.
479
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:41,410
Do you?
480
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,010
No, I don't.
481
00:27:44,860 --> 00:27:47,840
See, the thing is, I could pay it.
482
00:27:48,060 --> 00:27:49,110
With what?
483
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,530
Money from the job.
484
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,200
You got 200k left.
485
00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,860
Like you do in Berlin, don't you? No.
486
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:00,380
But there's Wolf's share.
487
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,250
That's untouched. No, that is Wolf's
money.
488
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,170
Well, do you know where he is? No, I
don't. Do you? Nope.
489
00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:08,020
The money's just sitting there.
490
00:28:13,340 --> 00:28:18,359
Well, I guess if you love this girl that
much, then I guess there's nothing
491
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:19,410
stopping you.
492
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,080
Do you love Tracey that much?
493
00:28:29,770 --> 00:28:30,820
I've got to go.
494
00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:33,030
One more thing about women.
495
00:28:34,470 --> 00:28:39,089
When you find one that gets under your
skin, she gets into your heart. You're
496
00:28:39,090 --> 00:28:40,510
very soft.
497
00:28:41,670 --> 00:28:42,810
Do anything to keep her.
498
00:28:43,950 --> 00:28:45,000
Anything.
499
00:28:46,010 --> 00:28:47,510
Otherwise, don't even bother.
500
00:28:48,791 --> 00:28:52,149
Thanks, mate. There's a bunch of help.
501
00:28:52,150 --> 00:28:53,710
Yep. Thought you wouldn't get it.
502
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,340
Have you heard anything?
503
00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:02,590
No.
504
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,440
I'm sure she'll be okay, eh?
505
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:11,210
Yes.
506
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,160
Okay. Hey, baby.
507
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:19,730
Hey.
508
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:22,860
What are you doing here?
509
00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:24,270
Came to see you.
510
00:29:26,630 --> 00:29:29,670
Isn't she gorgeous? Yeah, she's cool.
511
00:29:29,671 --> 00:29:33,609
Now, are you sure you're going to be all
right for an hour? Yeah, I will be just
512
00:29:33,610 --> 00:29:34,710
fine, won't we?
513
00:29:35,310 --> 00:29:37,480
Can anyone help me? I'm getting my legs
wet.
514
00:29:38,190 --> 00:29:42,030
What about, you know, Tracy?
515
00:29:42,031 --> 00:29:45,669
What difference does it make if I wait
here or at the leg waxes? If anything
516
00:29:45,670 --> 00:29:47,170
happens, just call me a mister.
517
00:29:47,630 --> 00:29:49,290
Yeah, but... Dan, look, look.
518
00:29:50,790 --> 00:29:51,930
She's opening her eyes.
519
00:29:57,610 --> 00:29:59,690
Isn't she just the most beautiful thing?
520
00:30:05,110 --> 00:30:10,210
Don't go freaking out or anything, but I
really want one of these.
521
00:30:11,930 --> 00:30:13,010
I don't mean right now.
522
00:30:13,250 --> 00:30:19,009
And I don't mean that we should, like,
kidnap this one or anything, but it
523
00:30:19,010 --> 00:30:20,810
be a real choice to have a baby one day.
524
00:30:31,150 --> 00:30:33,190
Don't you want a baby one?
525
00:30:33,430 --> 00:30:35,090
Yeah, sure.
526
00:30:37,930 --> 00:30:41,270
And I'd want one just like this one.
527
00:30:50,730 --> 00:30:51,780
Shit.
528
00:30:53,030 --> 00:30:54,080
Okay.
529
00:31:02,860 --> 00:31:03,910
have any secrets.
530
00:31:06,420 --> 00:31:08,060
Well, we do.
531
00:31:10,580 --> 00:31:12,380
You know what I reckon we ought to do?
532
00:31:12,381 --> 00:31:16,779
We should make one of them videos, you
know, where I'm standing behind you in a
533
00:31:16,780 --> 00:31:21,319
hood and you're crying and pleading with
the old man just to hand over the money
534
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,370
before I kill you.
535
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,780
You reckon that ought to do the trick?
536
00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:29,350
What?
537
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,900
I'm not doing that to my father.
538
00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:32,230
Oh!
539
00:31:32,330 --> 00:31:36,289
So it's all right to take his money just
so long as he doesn't actually worry
540
00:31:36,290 --> 00:31:37,530
about you, I see.
541
00:31:37,810 --> 00:31:38,860
Shut up, Eric.
542
00:31:38,861 --> 00:31:41,889
I'll never understand you people. You
might as well be living in another
543
00:31:41,890 --> 00:31:43,510
universe as far as I'm concerned.
544
00:31:44,110 --> 00:31:45,610
He's supposed to care.
545
00:31:46,010 --> 00:31:50,750
Why? Fathers are supposed to care about
their daughters.
546
00:31:51,030 --> 00:31:55,949
Yes, well, daughters shouldn't hit their
old man up for 200 grand in ransom
547
00:31:55,950 --> 00:31:57,210
money just to get noticed.
548
00:31:57,990 --> 00:32:01,450
Did he even ask to talk to me? Did he
ask how I was to check if I was...
549
00:32:16,810 --> 00:32:17,870
I'm sure he does.
550
00:32:18,230 --> 00:32:20,690
You know, in his own way.
551
00:32:21,010 --> 00:32:22,090
Come on.
552
00:32:25,970 --> 00:32:27,930
What the fuck are you doing?
553
00:32:30,370 --> 00:32:32,210
Old habits, Gaia.
554
00:32:33,650 --> 00:32:34,700
Die wondering.
555
00:32:47,190 --> 00:32:51,530
Never, ever have figured that Jasmine
was yours.
556
00:32:51,870 --> 00:32:52,920
Yeah.
557
00:32:53,630 --> 00:32:57,810
It's amazing, eh? I must have, like,
Asian genes in me or something.
558
00:32:58,050 --> 00:32:59,130
I reckon.
559
00:32:59,410 --> 00:33:00,460
Yeah.
560
00:33:03,470 --> 00:33:05,330
So, you're cool with this?
561
00:33:08,090 --> 00:33:15,069
Van, when I lived with the gang, those
guys had kids all
562
00:33:15,070 --> 00:33:16,120
over the place.
563
00:33:16,650 --> 00:33:22,449
And none of them ever looked at their
kids with as much love as when you
564
00:33:22,450 --> 00:33:23,610
at Jasmine just before.
565
00:33:25,770 --> 00:33:28,330
I don't care about your past.
566
00:33:31,210 --> 00:33:32,430
I'm your future now.
567
00:33:40,770 --> 00:33:43,950
Well, I presume come and get it, come
features was from you.
568
00:33:46,830 --> 00:33:47,880
It's an outline.
569
00:33:47,881 --> 00:33:49,269
What's that?
570
00:33:49,270 --> 00:33:52,429
It's like a script for idiots. When you
like the outline, I'll write the actual
571
00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:53,480
script. Fair enough.
572
00:34:02,490 --> 00:34:03,540
What?
573
00:34:15,911 --> 00:34:20,718
Okay, this is not your fault. What's not
my fault?
574
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,638
Well, you don't fully understand the
needs of a porn film. This is a porn
575
00:34:23,639 --> 00:34:24,499
for women.
576
00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:25,399
For women.
577
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,138
With an actual emotional heart. That's
what you don't understand. No, I
578
00:34:28,139 --> 00:34:29,279
understand all of that.
579
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,279
Chopped girl has chance encounter with
handsome older man, sparks a passion,
580
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,019
battles with her inner self before
giving in and they get it on. I get all
581
00:34:35,020 --> 00:34:35,819
It's hard not to.
582
00:34:35,820 --> 00:34:37,920
So, what's so wrong with it?
583
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:39,440
Well, it's a porn film.
584
00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:43,060
Yes. For women. But they don't shag
until right at the very end. So?
585
00:34:43,061 --> 00:34:45,959
So they don't shag until the very end.
Yeah, there's erotic tension.
586
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,010
But no shagging.
587
00:34:47,069 --> 00:34:48,119
What's your point?
588
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:52,609
Okay, this might be a great idea for a
Mills and Boone novel. I don't know, I
589
00:34:52,610 --> 00:34:53,930
don't read Mills and Boone.
590
00:34:54,190 --> 00:34:57,920
But as far as porn goes, it's lacking a
certain element. Can you guess what?
591
00:34:59,171 --> 00:35:02,089
Okay, see anything that you can.
592
00:35:02,090 --> 00:35:03,770
It's called sex, Loretta.
593
00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:08,000
Lots of sex. Sex at the beginning, sex
at the middle and getting the end away.
594
00:35:08,990 --> 00:35:10,490
I'm sorry, this is all my fault.
595
00:35:10,980 --> 00:35:12,720
You know, I forgot how young you are.
596
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:18,080
Hey, I'm sorry that I'm not the walking
glory hole that is my sister.
597
00:35:18,081 --> 00:35:21,919
Why don't you ask her to write your
stupid script? Except, oh yeah, she's an
598
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,480
idiot and she can't write.
599
00:35:23,481 --> 00:35:26,899
Piss off out of my life and stop wasting
my time. You should go and hang out
600
00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:29,999
with my dickhead brother because you two
are made for each other.
601
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,940
But I want to fuck you, not him.
602
00:35:50,060 --> 00:35:51,110
What did you say?
603
00:35:51,420 --> 00:35:52,470
That's my future.
604
00:35:52,660 --> 00:35:56,760
Right there, surrounded by hundreds and
hundreds of old people just like him.
605
00:35:57,340 --> 00:35:58,680
I hate old people.
606
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,780
Okay, so privacy's clearly a thing of
the past.
607
00:36:14,220 --> 00:36:15,270
Oh, sorry.
608
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,240
My stuffman died and I was looking for a
charger. Mine's at the office.
609
00:36:19,241 --> 00:36:22,589
And you thought you'd look through my
private personal stuff while you're
610
00:36:22,590 --> 00:36:25,060
Well, it was just lying there. It's a
lovely story.
611
00:36:25,061 --> 00:36:25,909
It's crap.
612
00:36:25,910 --> 00:36:27,650
No, no, no, it's really convincing.
613
00:36:27,651 --> 00:36:30,909
Especially the bit where the girl and
the guy get together at the end. It's
614
00:36:30,910 --> 00:36:33,210
very, um... Heterosexual?
615
00:36:33,211 --> 00:36:38,029
You know, Mum, just because Pascal's
looking at Dyke doesn't mean I'm gay.
616
00:36:38,030 --> 00:36:43,969
No, I didn't mean that. I just meant...
You know, I really like the way the girl
617
00:36:43,970 --> 00:36:48,489
at the end of the short story decides to
go for it. Even though she knows
618
00:36:48,490 --> 00:36:50,780
everyone's going to hate her for it in
the end.
619
00:36:53,750 --> 00:36:56,040
That's what really got to me about your
story.
620
00:37:01,750 --> 00:37:02,800
Thanks.
621
00:37:06,030 --> 00:37:09,340
It's not actually a short story, though.
It's an outline for a film.
622
00:37:09,530 --> 00:37:10,580
Oh.
623
00:37:12,570 --> 00:37:15,770
What? No, no, I think it'll make a
lovely film. No, what?
624
00:37:16,070 --> 00:37:17,120
Well, it's just that...
625
00:37:17,450 --> 00:37:21,370
The movies that I like, I like to have a
bit more action up front.
626
00:37:21,371 --> 00:37:25,109
You mean sex? Well, sex, romance,
whatever, rather than having to wait to
627
00:37:25,110 --> 00:37:26,160
end, you know.
628
00:37:26,690 --> 00:37:27,990
Grab life by the balls.
629
00:37:29,270 --> 00:37:30,320
Exactly.
630
00:37:30,930 --> 00:37:33,400
That is exactly what people should do
sometimes.
631
00:37:34,030 --> 00:37:38,590
Stop thinking and worrying about all the
shit and clean up the mess afterwards.
632
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:43,560
Anyway,
633
00:37:44,070 --> 00:37:45,130
I need to get to work.
634
00:37:45,590 --> 00:37:46,640
Okay.
635
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,340
So you're involved in a crime, but you
can't tell me what the crime was.
636
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,080
But the victim of the crime is just as
guilty as you are.
637
00:37:55,340 --> 00:38:00,679
Yeah, that's about the size of it. And I
just need to know my rights in case the
638
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:04,350
so -called victim decides to take
matters further with the authorities.
639
00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:05,790
And is this likely?
640
00:38:05,791 --> 00:38:09,499
Well, if I knew to answer that question,
I wouldn't be here. Well, if I knew
641
00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,559
what the fuck you were talking about, I
might be able to help.
642
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,140
That's not very loyally, is it?
643
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:14,920
Swearing at your clients?
644
00:38:14,940 --> 00:38:15,990
Eric.
645
00:38:16,430 --> 00:38:18,030
What type of crime was it?
646
00:38:20,830 --> 00:38:27,129
It was sort of
647
00:38:27,130 --> 00:38:33,810
in the way of being... You.
648
00:38:45,811 --> 00:38:47,779
You took Tracy.
649
00:38:47,780 --> 00:38:49,840
Oh, now, I didn't mention any names.
650
00:38:49,841 --> 00:38:52,059
Yes, all right, all right, I took her.
You're kidding, that's my fucking
651
00:38:52,060 --> 00:38:55,819
girlfriend. And then you come here.
You're the only lawyer I know, Jethro.
652
00:38:55,820 --> 00:38:57,040
besides, she was in on it.
653
00:38:57,940 --> 00:38:59,200
What? Oh, yes.
654
00:38:59,201 --> 00:39:03,739
Well, not at the beginning, but she very
quickly took over. She's one tough
655
00:39:03,740 --> 00:39:04,880
lady, your girlfriend.
656
00:39:13,660 --> 00:39:14,710
Where is she now?
657
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,559
Well, I don't know. She bloody kung
-fu'd me in the nuts and then took off
658
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,739
because no bastard paid her rents and
money.
659
00:39:20,740 --> 00:39:24,640
This is the last kidnapping I ever get
involved in, I can tell you.
660
00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:32,199
What brought this on? Well, I've just
become aware recently that sometimes
661
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,640
a really good idea to grab life by the
balls.
662
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:39,980
OK. So are you in or are you out?
663
00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:44,120
Sure. You're a braver man than me.
664
00:39:45,100 --> 00:39:46,150
And I'm sorry.
665
00:39:46,151 --> 00:39:47,539
For what?
666
00:39:47,540 --> 00:39:50,700
For not grabbing you by the balls
earlier.
667
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,050
It's okay.
668
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,120
Has anyone seen my car, please?
669
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,210
Truth.
670
00:40:01,980 --> 00:40:03,280
It was just one guy.
671
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:05,500
One weirdo. Yeah.
672
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,000
He kept trying to touch me, you know?
673
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,660
God, thank you. No.
674
00:40:12,270 --> 00:40:13,590
Couldn't place his accent.
675
00:40:14,330 --> 00:40:17,670
Maybe Taiwan.
676
00:40:17,950 --> 00:40:19,950
When I had a chance to escape, I just
ran.
677
00:40:21,150 --> 00:40:22,200
I was terrified.
678
00:40:23,510 --> 00:40:26,690
Especially when I found out you weren't
going to pay the money.
679
00:40:28,290 --> 00:40:30,090
I really thought it was all over then.
680
00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:44,990
Do you have a script for me? No, but I
do know how the first thing goes.
681
00:40:45,530 --> 00:40:46,580
How's that?
682
00:40:46,890 --> 00:40:51,730
She knocks on his door and says, if you
want to fuck me, then fuck me.
683
00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:53,700
And he does.
684
00:40:57,630 --> 00:40:59,010
Yeah, yeah, that could work.
685
00:41:51,841 --> 00:41:55,399
Are you sure it's all right if I stay?
686
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:56,450
Yeah, absolutely.
687
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,140
Just, um, chuck it.
688
00:41:58,340 --> 00:41:59,540
Stuff wherever you want.
689
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:02,420
Just for a few days, though.
690
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,890
I don't really want to be around my so
-called family right now.
691
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:11,570
Hey.
692
00:42:11,900 --> 00:42:12,950
Hey.
693
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,240
Everyone was really worried about you.
694
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,370
Honest.
695
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:19,640
Not enough to actually pay the money.
696
00:42:23,310 --> 00:42:24,360
That's not true.
697
00:42:25,730 --> 00:42:27,530
I was on the verge of paying it myself.
698
00:42:28,810 --> 00:42:29,860
Really?
699
00:42:31,050 --> 00:42:32,100
Cross my heart.
700
00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:34,190
You have 200 grand.
701
00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:36,910
For you, I would have found it.
702
00:42:38,010 --> 00:42:40,540
Swindle it out of someone's account or
something.
703
00:42:41,310 --> 00:42:42,360
That's really sweet.
704
00:42:44,070 --> 00:42:46,650
For you, anything.
705
00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:01,099
I drank like half a bottle of vodka by
myself with nobody to keep me company
706
00:43:01,100 --> 00:43:06,320
last night. I still couldn't get to
sleep. I kept dreaming of old people.
707
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:10,659
Thousands and thousands of old people
all crowding in on me and making sicko
708
00:43:10,660 --> 00:43:11,710
moaning noises.
709
00:43:11,860 --> 00:43:12,910
Mmm.
710
00:43:13,020 --> 00:43:14,070
Mmm.
711
00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:15,230
Mmm.
712
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,180
Then I woke up and the noise was coming
from across the hall.
713
00:43:19,660 --> 00:43:23,899
Then at a war I was having this like
humongous sex marathon all night long
714
00:43:23,900 --> 00:43:25,100
forced me to listen to it.
715
00:43:25,260 --> 00:43:27,790
Then I went and saw you, and you weren't
even there.
716
00:43:28,860 --> 00:43:29,910
I was busy.
717
00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:38,060
Yeah, well, you officially missed the
worst night of my life. Oh, until
718
00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:41,490
and tomorrow night, because nothing in
my life can get any worse.
719
00:44:01,540 --> 00:44:04,240
So, I grab life by the balls.
720
00:44:05,140 --> 00:44:06,190
Ouch!
721
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:17,960
Okay, well, that went about as well as
could be expected.
722
00:44:53,020 --> 00:44:57,000
This program was made with funding from
New Zealand on Air.
723
00:44:57,050 --> 00:45:01,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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