Original subtitles

I want to offer you a new challenge.

You do well.

Much more money.

I always believe in you, babe.

I love you.

Pascal, I want to humiliate him in the most public way possible.

But it will mean you taking Grant back into your life.

Turn the gas.

Clean the boot.

Shut the boot.

And off you go for a cup of tea.

Tell her she's been warned.

You should have smacked them, man.

Yeah, they got away before I could.

So who's the who?

I don't know, man. They didn't say.

Jessica? No, no, no. These are quite hardcore guys, you know.

Jessica, she's not into, like... Quiet.

Maybe they just got the wrong car, man.

You know, like they thought it was some chick's car that pissed them off, wasn't

it? Well, it is kind of a chick's car.

Is this your round?

I just bought the last round.

Well, I haven't got any money. It always happens when we're on the piss. What

are you, Mr. Memory?

I just recall it seemed ironic, seeing you're the one with the job.

What does ironic mean? It means I'm the guy with the job who's never got any

money for any piss.

Because I'm on a budget.

A what?

A budget. It's where you decide what you're going to do with your money. I

know what a budget is.

This is her, isn't it? You go, bitch. Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking

about, man.

Don't do me. She's turning you into a pussy.

Why? Because she takes care of my money.

Yeah, she does it so she can pay the bills, Munter.

And I get an allowance.

An allowance?

Yeah, an allowance. And a blowjob every morning, which is more than what you

get. Yeah, what morning did she bite your dick off because you don't need it

anymore? Hi, baby.

Hey.

Munter? Truska.

So, which one of you is going to buy me a drink?

going on with Manta tonight?

Um, can we not talk about him right now?

All that laughing and giggling every time I gave you money for a drink.

What was that all about? Nothing.

Don't. Stop.

It's just if Old Man Hung paid you what you're worth, we wouldn't need to be on

such a budget.

Yeah, I know.

And this beard is way too small. We need to get a new one.

Yep, whatever.

Yeah, you come in last night. It was a bit late.

Good night, was it? Was it all right?

Am I going to read about it in a magazine?

Maybe. You know, love, I really used to enjoy my weekly fix of those magazines,

you know, reading who's up who and whatnot.

It's a bit bloody different when it's your own daughter up there, week after

week, pisses her butt.

out of his dress, cavorting around town with a married man.

Kind of takes the fun out of it, you know?

Why are the headlines always about him?

Oh, not true.

That night your tit fell out of your top.

Pascal pops out for a drink.

Yeah, but that made me look like a huckery old mole.

Your tit fell out of your top.

Okay, don't mistake this for me caring or anything, but he's a wanker having a

midlife crisis. What's the attraction?

The attraction is getting what I want.

Oh, God, be there right.

His master's voice.

You look a bit rough around the edges, that girl.

What the crap, Sandy?

You wanted a puppet laughingstock?

Well, he's practically done everything short of waving his dick at the

photographer. What have you got for me?

Celebrities ahoy.

I wasn't born yesterday.

Honey, the publicity you've generated in this country, you are a celebrity.

You can make it happen.

Take your bikini, sweet thing. You'll be getting a call from the production

company. And Grant?

Grant is exactly where I want him.

Thanks to you.

You okay?

Well, the mother of New Zealand's biggest trollop, but apart from that,

know. I meant the other thing. What other thing?

Tell me it's bullshit.

What's bullshit?

The thing going round.

Yeah, going round where?

That you informed on Luthor Wallace.

What?

What?

You believe that shit? It doesn't matter what I believe. It does to me.

Well, Jesus Christ, Cheryl.

Since you changed the fucking rules. I don't know what's going on with you.

Look, the first time you noticed it was a pay deal was when you were getting

hauled off. But you were there. Yeah, I was.

Why? I was getting some money back. It's a long story.

Who told you I was there?

I'm fucking Murray.

You talked to John.

Yeah, well, that's how I inform on people, in full view, so everyone knows

was me.

I'm just telling you what's going around. No, I was there.

I talked to Judd because he talked to me. End of story.

Yeah, well, maybe not.

I wouldn't do that shit. I never would, no matter what the rules are.

Can you make sure every bastard in here knows that?

How's the Leonard party order coming along?

Just the black satin Beyonce peekaboo baby dolls to do.

Good.

Good.

Hey, Case.

Why the hell is your useless boyfriend spreading the word that I marked on

Luther Wallace?

No, he's not.

He's looking at going back inside for a real long time. Because he got caught in

the middle of a fucking drug bust while on parole, not because of me.

So where'd the money come from?

What? The money that Murray dropped in the drug deal.

How'd you get it back?

I got it off Luther.

Murray says that you never saw Luther before he got arrested?

Yeah, well, I didn't have to, OK? The word went out and the money came back.

And tell Murray to stop spreading that shit before I break into a fucking

and deal with him myself.

She didn't even know Luther was a pee dealer when she asked me about him.

Asked you about what?

Where he was.

Why? I don't know. She wanted to find him. Yeah, but why?

Oh, something about getting some money back or something.

And did she get the money back?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh, no, Dad.

Dad, if you wouldn't.

Oh, no.

Fucking goddammit!

I'm not fucking good at anyone.

Corky's working on the appeal. Corky is doing sweet FA because nobody's paying

Corky to do anything else.

I grew up around here. Yes, I know.

Over in Buchanan Street.

I saw the documentary about your life.

So you make laundry for a living?

Yep.

How's your wife?

Oh, it's kind of over.

Kind of?

It is.

I assure you, Mrs West, my intentions towards your daughter... Yes, I've seen

your intentions towards my daughter.

I'll let you know what happened. You hurt her.

Mum! I wouldn't dream of putting Pascal.

I love her.

Oh, for God's sake.

Are you the guy off TV?

Yes, I am.

Can we just go?

She's turned my life around.

My mum loves you. Do you think I can get you all to go? Can't I? Leave him

alone, man.

Maybe some other time. Come on.

The guy from off TV. Shut up. Come on.

Sit down.

Okay. So, there's this alley, right? Out the back of the Lucky Dollar store.

And a few doors down from that, there's this money -lending place. What are you

doing? Sorry.

I'm trying to tell you something important here, man. Sorry.

Alley out the back of the Lucky Dollar store.

A few doors down, money -lending place.

Now, this Tongan guy runs it. Every Friday, his mum parks her car in the

right? Get it, Tone.

What? Get a toad if it's parked in the alley. Would you shut up and listen,

Okay, so she parks her car in the alley.

Where while later, she comes out with a bag of cash.

She puts it in the boot. I reckon they're too cheap to hire a security

or something. But guess what they do next?

The bank?

No.

Hungry? So the money's in the boot, and then they go into the cafe.

For a cup of tea. I follow them a couple of weeks, man. Every Friday. So the

money's in the boot. For about 20 minutes at least.

And it's a real shit old car, man. There's no alarm or anything.

So it'd be real easy to hotwire.

How much money you reckon?

Oh, I don't know.

It's got to be a couple of grand at least, eh? It's not small bags.

Are you suggesting that me and you do the straw?

Yep. Well, Dad needs money for his appeal.

And I've been going mental, man, knowing that the money's just sitting there.

So how about it?

50 -50 split, like always.

Welcome back, bro.

Yeah. Yeah.

What are

you

doing here? I need to tell you something. No, you don't. Yeah, I do.

There's a bunch of people saying that. You're saying I gave up Luther Wallace

you bastards. I'm aware of that. Thanks, Wayne. Hey, look, I'm doing my best to

knock that on the head. What about turning up at my bloody house? How's

looking? Hey, I'm here because I'm worried about you.

Oh, thanks.

If you want to go back down to the station and beat the crap out of Murray,

have my blessing.

Yeah, well, it's kind of gone beyond Murray now. Yeah, I know that.

There's some fucking loose cannons out there, Cheryl, and they're kind of

it seriously.

Yeah, but they know me.

They know I wouldn't. Maybe.

Once upon a time.

You've got to understand, Cheryl, that there's some people that can't get their

head around your change of lifestyle.

And if you're not with them, then maybe you're against them. Yeah.

Yeah, I met someone like that today.

They ain't going to protect you anymore.

Yeah, no.

Anyway, you turning up here is not helping.

I'm doing what I can.

Thanks.

Loretta, wake up.

What? I can't do it anymore.

Okay. I've hit the wall.

Good, it saved me hitting you.

You can't even get it up anymore. All he talks about is how shit his life is.

And yet he loves me. So how does that work? Because his life is shit.

Wake up.

Sandy has got me a job on Celebrity Ahoy.

Wow. I'm a celebrity now.

And they'll send you off to some tropical island with only 100 cameras to

your every bowel motion. Congratulations.

Because I'm a celebrity now.

And that means I don't need Grant anymore.

Because I'm a celebrity now.

He can get screwed.

You can't sleep here.

It's going to...

this beard.

Hello.

You already said that. So buy another one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Why not?

Okay. Someone's a happy boy this morning.

Yeah, copy that, rubber ducky, come on back.

Mate, are you going to shut the fuck up and take this seriously?

Sorry, man, sorry, bro.

This is our means of communication, all right? Yeah, yeah, you got it all

planned. Yeah, well, this is important to me, bro.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Good.

Okay, so I need an alibi, right?

So while you're stealing the car, I've got to be seen on the video surveillance

camera. What about when the cops check your alibi and they see you talking on

the walkie -talkie on there?

Nah, but the cops won't see me talking, man.

Because, look.

Watch this.

Look.

Check. One, two.

Check.

One, two.

Sweet as.

Eh? So I can coordinate everything from in here while you're doing the business

outside. Yeah, copy that. Over.

Hey, how's your mum, man?

What do you mean?

Is she okay?

Dude, I'm right here. You don't need to keep talking. There's a walkie -talkie,

man. Yeah, copy that. Ah.

Because, uh,

everyone's been arguing down at the pub about whether she shot Luther.

Sonny Webber reckons she might have.

She was on the bones of her ass.

But Dane Harris reckons, nah, no way, not him.

Ended up, Sonny smacked Dane right in the mouth. That was a good fight, wasn't

it?

She didn't.

She wouldn't. Yeah, I know, I know.

So who won the fight? Oh, Sonny.

Thanks,

bro. Nice drink.

Shit.

Sorry.

Fuck. He scared the crap out of me.

Yeah, Pascal said you'd probably be in here.

Wolf seen you, did he? No, not really.

Well, you know, he thought I might like to just check in on you. He's all heart.

Just in case.

In case what, Eric? In case I, what, dob somebody else in? In case I go fucking

mental? Well, no one thinks you can. But I'm so tired and I try to explain to

him why I'm doing what I'm doing. Doesn't he realise I'm the same person?

Well, I think it's just, you know, with him in there, he doesn't know what

you're up to sort of out here.

You mean he can't control me? No, I don't. Oh, look at him. No, it's just he

asked me to have a look in on you. That's all.

Oh, well.

If worse comes to worse, I'll just start a rumour saying it was you.

You wouldn't, I would.

Oh, I don't know, Eric. Apparently I'm a completely different person now. I

didn't want to tell you.

You don't live here.

What?

You don't live here. You don't have tobacco.

Um...

Do you think Ben loves me?

Sure, totally. How do you know?

He let you move in here, didn't he?

Okay, well name me one guy who would say no to getting a blowjob every morning.

True. I really want to know if he loves me.

Ask him, not me.

Look, I try not to go anywhere near Ben's life if I can help him. Does he

anyone else in his life? Not unless you count Munter.

I thought you were working today.

I'd have thought not to go in.

You're the boss.

You want to go to the vineyard and get pissed?

Don't you want to give it a wreath for a day?

I like getting pissed with you. We have fun.

Except when those fucking photographers turn up. That bitch has spies all over

town. Yeah, it's heaps of fun, Grant.

Especially when you whine about Sandy.

Oh, I am sorry, babe.

Promise I won't.

We can go to the PR. It's just you and me.

I don't want to go to PR.

Whatever you want.

Okay.

You do what you want, and I'll do what I want.

That's what I want.

Okay.

There's the art gallery thing later. No, Grant, you're not getting it.

I don't want to do anything with you.

Not tonight.

Not ever.

What? You're dumping me? Well, I'm trying to be nice about it, but you're

making it very easy.

Why? I don't know. You're just not.

Why are you dumping me?

It's just time, Grant.

But I love you. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you love screwing me. You love

that I look good on your arm when you're out on the pith, and you love that I'm

not your wife.

See you in the megathemes, eh?

Pascal!

Pascal, no!

For God's sake, get over it!

Are you going out tonight?

Nope. So I'm not going to read about you hanging out in a magazine?

Not like in Paris Hilton.

Yes. Jesus, you haven't made a video, have you?

No, I have at the limit.

Good, good.

Anyway, the lighting in those things is really not flattering.

What can I do?

Head over there. Sure.

Well, I hope there's enough. I hadn't quite planned for such a turnout.

Any more and it'd be the last supper.

Maybe it is, Ted.

Hey, don't joke about it. Hey, my dad reckons there's a bounty on your head.

What? How much? Loretta?

What? That's a fair question.

There was no bounty on my head.

All the... Jesus.

He was at the last supper, too.

Who was?

Jesus. Ended well for him, as I recall.

All we're saying, Mum, is that maybe you should be a bit careful, eh? At least

until... Look, I will not be held hostage by a rumour. Especially not one

not true.

Oh, fucking hell!

You all right?

No, Loretta, don't touch it!

Loretta, get the fuck away from it!

Thank God it didn't go off. Loretta, no!

Someone is sending a message.

Cheryl West sleeps with the gnomes.

What?

Ignore her.

Obscure film reference.

Since when is the Godfather obscure?

Heathens. So what the fuck are Eric and Muntah doing here?

They ain't called them in.

Do what, precisely?

Take two, I guess. What, those two?

All I'm saying is what kind of message are you trying to send by nicking a

from the Flutey's garden, hissing it through our window and then licking it?

It is not an unreasonable question.

Okay, everyone who doesn't actually live here, piss off.

They're staying, Mum.

I really don't need a house full of people to look after me. What about what

they did to my car?

What about this?

Yeah, well, that's fucking terrifying, Van, but I think I can cope.

No, no way.

Excuse me?

Look, you ought to stick your fucking head up your ass.

There are people out there, Mum, serious people.

You know what they're like.

Or maybe you've forgotten.

But if they think you've dobbed in on one of them...

Well, I reckon we should take this seriously.

I just hate to agree with him.

Serious fucking crims don't throw garden gnomes through windows. Why can't you

just fucking listen to me for a change?

I fucking love you and I'm trying to take care of you.

Can't you just do what I say?

Sure, then.

Good.

OK, so we'll take it in shifts, right? Two on guard, two off. Four -hour

Eric, Grandpa, you guys are on the first shift.

Me and Munster will come next.

Right, any questions?

Got any porn?

I mean, these guys are major peaheads, so, you know, logic doesn't really

Which means that...

Miraculously, the fan might actually be right.

Oh, no.

It's just right now I feel like the same person stuck in the asylum.

Welcome to the last 15 years of my life.

How do you feel, love?

Good night.

See you in the morning.

Is this going to fuck up tomorrow?

No, wait a minute. We're not on target. You sure?

Yeah, for sure. I'm sure, man.

Cool. Yeah, we're back, bro.

Cool. Like we never left.

What are you guys doing?

Just talking, figuring shit out.

Just acting?

Cool.

Rita could do that.

Standing on her head.

On her head?

Yep.

Impressive.

It was.

Who is it?

Police.

Open up.

You were just passing, right?

Yeah, good police.

Dad and I were sitting outside your house when you drove off.

Why?

Looking out for you.

Why? Why? Yeah, why?

Because... Because you're in danger.

More like you're in danger for disturbing my peace and quiet.

Yeah, well, that's the sort of chance I'm willing to take.

Well, thank you, Sergeant Judd and the New Zealand Police Force for offering us

such care and consideration, but I'm actually doing all right.

Yeah, right, well... It's not them.

It's just me.

Can you excuse me for a minute? Sure.

Do you like a drink?

It was ringing and then it stopped.

Not good.

Oh, for crying out loud, you guys give brain death a bad name.

They kidnapped her in her own car after packing a suitcase full of her own

clothes and none of us heard her scream for help.

Good night.

Bad forward planning.

Just about to run out of coke.

Well, I wasn't expecting company, was I?

Um, so are you planning on protecting me all night?

What have I done to deserve this?

You won't like it.

Come on.

Well, first I started respecting you. Oh.

Yeah. Mistake number one.

When I realised you weren't bullshitting about going straight.

Then I started admiring you for sticking to your guns.

And so on and so on and so on.

Yeah, well, you know, I've learned.

I've learned to like you.

Go on, and so on and so on. And so on.

If you want me to go down to my really uncomfortable car, you say the word.

Okay, bugger off.

I've got to get a wig.

No grits?

A few.

Really? Yeah.

Ain't about to stop that, then.

Why? It could lead to places.

Hope so.

There's not many regrets, then?

No.

What are you so pleased about?

Well, I just bagged me the head of a crime family.

Ex -crime family, thank you very much.

There's a joker here to see you.

Oh.

I came to say sorry.

What for?

Last night.

We didn't do anything last night?

I got a name.

That was you.

Who else would it have been?

Okay.

After you dumped me, I... This is a private

conversation. Thought you were great on celebrity ballroom dancing.

Back off, Eric.

Okay.

After

you

dumped me, I, uh... Went to a restaurant.

Got really drunk.

Started doing coke and...

toilets with people I didn't even know.

Which got me even angrier. So I, uh, grabbed a bottle of cognac and drove out

here. What's your point?

I love you.

Look, sorry if I was too polite before, but the only person you love on this

planet is you, not me.

So get the fuck over it and leave me alone.

But I want you back.

It's not going to happen. I don't understand what changed.

I did.

I got what I want from you.

And now I'm setting you free.

See ya.

Wait for my signal.

18 in position.

Shut up, dickhead.

Assuming radio silence.

Over.

Okay, can you hear me?

Repeat, can you hear me? Over.

I thought, I thought, I thought we were in radio silence.

I just want to see if it works at this range, you knob.

No probes. 18 out.

Good.

landed repeat what what was it over

what big mama is in the house

what over there what

Mama Bear and Little Bear have left the building. Repeat, Big Mama has left the

building.

We need to talk.

Yeah, I'm kind of in the middle of something.

And we are in the middle of the rest of our lives, and we need to sort it out

right now.

I can't leave the store,

Drasker, okay? Yeah, but you can leave me, right?

What? Ben, is it all clear?

Repeat, is it all clear? Over.

Ben.

I know what you and Manta have been talking about. I know that he hates my

and I know what he is trying to do.

Manta is not trying to drive a wedge between us, okay?

So why do you act so weird every single time that I walk into a room? No, we

don't. Look, and if you want to dump me, I think you just need to go ahead and

do it, okay?

You're just saying that. No, I'm not, okay? I don't want to dump you.

Do you love me?

What? It's not a difficult question, Van. Do you love me? What are you doing

here? Oh, because I wouldn't start. My turn.

Shit. Where did you get all those?

They were in the boot. Are you guys stealing something? Yeah, we went out to

fuck knuckle here. None of my boarding cars are here for shit.

Okay, Van, put those into our office.

What?

Now.

Okay, you're going to bring those with me. I've got a car parked outside.

Van, get the tape or whatever out of that thing.

Just destroy it. The tape or the recorder, whatever.

How?

I don't care. Pan it if you have to.

And if the cops come, just say you're at lunch with me. Okay. Nothing else.

We'll sort the rest of the details later. Okay.

What details?

Be at home, baby.

Yep.

Uh, video.

Wow. Yeah, I know. A real, proper TV celebrity chucked a gun home through our

window. Out of love to me. Is that cool or what?

If you say so.

And now I'm free.

Hi, Zena. Hi, this is Zena from Stratosphere.

I know, Zena.

I just wanted to call and tell you the bad news.

What bad news?

Yeah, I'll be there.

I don't know. I'll be there.

Soon.

Crime never sleeps.

Yeah.

Luckily, I have an alibi.

You should stay here.

Not in case the bad men come.

No, they should be sorted by now.

How? I don't know. We would have got around town. What would?

Doesn't matter.

The reason I want you to stay is because I want to come back.

Is that so?

Yeah, that's right.

See you later.

So a robbery takes place in an alley out the back of the store, and you don't

know anything about it? Yeah, well, not every crime in West Auckland is done by

me, Glenn. I wasn't asking about every crime, Van.

Look, first I heard about it, I took the rubbish out and there's cops all over

the alley, all right? Come on, Van, where were you this morning?

Right here. Where were you guys?

You got any video surveillance of you being right here?

No, kind of broken.

Really? Yeah, got some stuff spilled in it.

Oh, then my girlfriend?

We went out to lunch, she'll tell you that.

Girlfriends are handy like that.

Especially when 80 grand goes missing.

80 grand?

All the takings from Mr. Cervelli's money shop.

You will hear names of Jessica Dozler, you can ask her. We will. Don't you

about that, Van.

Come on, let's go.

We'll be seeing you, Van.

Hello, sweetie.

Dick and sweetie crap up your ass.

You got me cut from the books at strategy?

Yes, I did. Sorry.

Why? Because I threw a lot of business their way. And how can that continue

the slut who tried to steal my husband is on the books? I did not try to steal

your husband. You threw him at me. And you threw him back in just the way I

wanted him.

Grant and I are back together. Thank you for crushing his spirit and making him

the good little husband that I want.

He might be cheaper than a divorce lawyer.

Actually... You're just a heap.

What about Celebrities Ahoy?

Well, Grant's captaining the boys, and turns out I'm captaining the girls.

The producers did actually want you for a UME catfight in a bikini angle, but

Grant didn't feel emotionally up to it.

So sorry, I guess you'll just have to fuck off back to the suburbs, white

So where did you stay last night?

The motel.

Next time you run away, can you please take me with you?

Sure.

Hey. It's in your room.

What is?

You'll see.

Sweet.

Whoa, whoa, what's this?

It's our alibi.

Eh? We're out buying it today.

20 % deposit, interest free over 12 months from my cousin's store. He'll say

we're both there.

Do you want to try it out?

What about the money? It's safe.

Yeah, but where is it? It's best that I don't tell you so that you can answer

honestly when the cops question you.

They already did. There was $80 ,000 in those bags, ma 'am.

$83 ,500?

Oh, shit, you didn't give it to Manta, did you? No, it's safe.

Okay, cool.

Where is Manta?

Would you stop worrying about Manta and start worrying about how we are going to

spend this money?

Oh, I was going to give it to Corky to pay for Dad's appeal.

Oh, that is so sweet.

It's just that if you start handing out your money, the cops and your mum are

going to start putting things together, and not in a good way.

Right.

But luckily, I've had a really good idea.

Yeah? How we can make the money look like it's ours.

Cool.

Just as long as everyone thinks that my relatives in Melbourne gave us the

money. Okay, and...

Why would they think that?

Excuse me, everyone. We have a little announcement we'd like to make.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Me and Drask are... We're getting married.

I know. Isn't it great? I told my parents and they're really thrilled. And

relatives in Melbourne are so thrilled they've even offered to pay for the

wedding.

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