Original subtitles

Hey, back in the plant.

Why don't you grab some coffee around the corner?

I could do that, or I could deliver the summons and you could get the coffee.

Yeah, I know this guy's pretty slippery. Black, no sugar.

You know him, he knows you.

I'd be surprised.

Probably have better luck getting him to take it. You mess it up and I gotta dog

him around town again?

How can I mess it up? Either he takes it or he doesn't. How complicated can it

get?

Apartment 510.

Buddy Carson Redhair is not a rocket scientist.

Back in a flash. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

He's a witness in a drug possession hearing.

Probably likes to wake up to the smell of Jamaica in the morning. Plus, he's

real squirming.

One cream if it's real, none if it isn't, half a sugar and less artificial

other ones.

Oh, kids, kids, come on. Someday you'll grow up, you'll have a car. Might even

be a classic, too. So lighten it up, you know what I mean?

Come here, son.

Michael Jordan, huh?

Listen, why don't you go get me a couple cups of coffee, some sugar, some cream,

you know what I mean? I'll hold your stick for you.

Two to three, guys. Second period. Let's go.

I'm busy.

Hi, sense it.

You got a minute?

I don't have time for numbers.

Oh, hey, listen, this really won't take any time. You're Buddy Carson, right?

Okay, you just take this, you fill it out, and... My hands are full.

Can you take the kids?

Bernie. Watch for the thumb sucker.

Buddy dumped her on me and took off down the fire escape.

Wait in the car. I'll be right back.

Do you kids know this baby?

Uh -uh.

I got this under control.

I

just

had that.

I'd be really happy to let you have the car.

Just drop us off anywhere. This corner would be fine.

Just hang on to the baby, okay?

It wasn't supposed to go like this. How was it supposed to go? Right now it's

kidnapping. It's my kid. You can't kidnap your own kid. But a stranger can

kidnap a stranger.

Who are you?

I am a private detective delivering a summons. A detective? Yes, and right now

I'm being held against my will.

I'm not kidnapping you, okay? Great, then let us off at this corner.

Sorry, I can't. I can't do that right now. Fine, I think we're back to

kidnapping again.

Okay, buddy, I'm a little confused about a couple of things, and I wonder if you

mind an awful lot if we were to kind of go over a few of the gray areas.

Sure, however I can help.

Who's driving?

Oh, uh... Uh, Stan.

He's a guy named Stan.

Friend of yours?

No, no, not really.

He's kind of a goof.

Got the rug wrapped?

Just babysitting.

Babysitting.

Want to go over it one more time, buddy?

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

All right, let's hear it.

I boosted the baby for the guy.

So when the chick showed up with the summons, I had to make a run for it.

Do you have any idea where he's headed?

No, no, I don't know, maybe his old lady's place?

Man, you sure touchy today.

Yeah, haven't had my coffee yet.

Okay, I can take her now. No, I don't think I can let you do that.

She's my baby. Hand her over. Okay, okay. How many teeth does she have?

Teeth? None.

Wrong. Two.

She's got teeth?

Let me see.

I don't think she's yours.

Welfare took her away from me and my wife, Val.

We haven't seen her for a month.

What's her name?

Leanne. Pretty, huh?

Okay, I'm just going to go get my wife. She'll back me up.

I'm not letting this baby out of this car until I know who you are and what

you're doing. And don't pull any funny stuff because I'm a private detective,

remember?

Okay. Just don't leave with her, okay?

Where am I going to go?

Where am I going to go?

Daddy will be right back with Marlon, okay?

How complicated you'd get.

Yeah, okay, all right, I know.

I send you out with a stomach, you come back with a baby.

All right.

Hey!

What'd you give her away for? I wouldn't ask you. You've been there on time.

I was two minutes late. Well, you snooze, you lose.

You didn't just have to hand her over.

Follow her.

I mean it. All right, all right. Keep your shirt on.

Man, some people.

When you try to help them out, what do you get?

Reet. Nothing but reet.

You knock on the door.

The man says hello. You say, here.

He takes the summons. You say, thank you, goodbye.

But... It's okay, honey. Once he gets this off of his chest, he'll calm down.

But if he hands you a baby, you say, well, thank you. I got a couple of my

at home.

Bernie, do you think maybe we could stop? She needs a bottle and you need a

coffee. If somebody takes my car, what do you say to them?

Bernie, I have got a kidnapped baby in my lap.

And she is hungry.

I don't need private eye lectures. Do you think maybe you could drive me to

cafe? Could you do that?

Smooth move. Way to go.

She's crying because she's wet.

Watch it.

It's your original upholstery.

You know, I can't believe you just give her away like that to a private

detective. Listen to Buddy.

You've got to lay low a while. Then things will cool off a bit.

Things are not going to cool off.

Things are hitting the fan, if you haven't noticed.

Okay, I made a couple of mistakes. Don't freak out. We'll figure out something.

Right. Like you figured out how to get my baby back.

The folks back home said, once you get to Van, look up Buddy.

He's our people. Knows his way around the city.

Right. I want my baby back, Buddy.

And if anything happens to her, you're going to know about it.

Okay?

It ain't a bowl of cherries, kid.

Diaper Patrol, empty cafe, honey. Let me take the bottle. Here we go.

Pour some water, babe.

When do we open a daycare?

Just take care of the orders, John.

Come on, Bernie, be realistic. We can't just dump a tiny baby back in the

street.

Ankle the weeper.

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Thanks, honey.

Uh, wipes?

Wipes.

Wipes. Sally, why don't you call welfare services, tell them you found an

abandoned baby?

I don't know.

Talcum powder.

What? What are you going to do, wait until he gets out of military school?

He's a girl, Bernie.

Talcum powder?

Diaper? Sally, you can't keep it. It's not a stray.

And she's not abandoned either. The kid was trying to get her back.

I finally made it. How are you doing?

Honey, rush that pork on the grill, would you? Well, hey, I haven't seen you

a long time. This way, man.

I'm going to fix you one of the best meals you've ever had.

Come on, man. Just sit yourself right in there and make yourself known. I'll be

right with you.

Baby wipes.

You want to do this? Fine.

That's your business. You do it. It's all yours.

Later, I have a summons to serve.

Bertie?

I want time to find the mother.

So? Watch the baby.

Watch the baby what?

She can't stay here very much longer.

Okay,

okay, okay.

She's running a little high. I'm going to have to fix.

Look, I've got to find those detectives, okay? You don't want to do that.

It ain't your babies.

Listen, don't get in over your head.

Understand?

Those detectives, they still got the same office, right? What is it with you?

This ain't back home. This seems like being chased by a couple of moundies on

Saturday night or draping toilet paper across Main Street.

You know what, buddy?

You're the hick.

I didn't bring you to the city.

And I didn't knock anybody up.

Okay. Hand her over.

Please. I don't think I can do that.

I'm the father. Please.

And a car thief and a kidnapper. Have I forgotten anything?

My wife's up on drug charges. Oh, really? Perfect couple.

She's innocent.

No, she's innocent.

Leanne.

Give the mother a baby burn.

Why didn't you tell me you were going to do this?

My guess is he makes it up as he goes along.

Stan, sometimes... I know you meant to make it right, but this isn't

the way.

Let's hope he has his mother's brain.

Jan, you've grown so much.

Welfare took the baby away.

Good.

Look, she's got two teeth.

I don't think you're guilty of anything more than being a little naive.

A little naive kidnapping, a little naive car thieving, a little naive drug

dealing. Case closed. Nobody's the wiser.

Anybody see you leave her apartment?

Not that I noticed.

In that case, kids, kids, thanks for coming by. It was a real pleasure

you right when she gets work.

It's your box?

Right, and you're, uh... Renita Carswell, Department of Welfare

Yes, uh, this is Sally Sullivan.

May we help you?

I'm looking for a client of mine.

A missing person?

I don't think so. She's in this office.

Look, I know she's here. I followed her.

Well, that's your problem because we're a private investigating firm. I

understand, but I don't know if you've heard.

Yes, she told you?

There's been a kidnapping.

Well, that's a serious crime.

Excuse me.

Yes. It's a very serious crime for everyone involved.

We understand that when the baby disappeared, she was in your custody.

And that's why she hired us.

Yes, to investigate the baby's disappearance.

Oh, really? Uh -huh. I wonder how she could afford you.

We have a layaway plan.

If you hear of anything, you'll be the first to know.

I'm sure you're aware that Valerie's been charged of a crime.

In any event, I'm sure you'd rather talk with me than the police.

Thanks for coming by.

What was that bit about the police?

She didn't report the kidnap.

You had to...

Thanks a lot, Mr.

Fox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, what date were you busted?

March. March 5th.

Yep.

Same date as the case Buddy was called in for as a witness on the summons.

What happened?

Uh, we were driving around with Buddy in his car when the cops stopped us.

Yeah, and he asked me to save it.

The drugs they found were mine.

Because it was a first offense, and you wouldn't be charged.

I guess he saw us coming.

You bring new meaning to the term green.

Do you kids have someplace to go?

My parents have a farm.

Dan has had a kind of a problem with my dad, but I... It's okay.

We'll work it out.

You want to give me that?

Hey,

guys. Fellas, fellas.

Got a little... I need to find a friend of mine. Buddy Carson.

You know this guy, Buddy Carson?

Just lost your amateur status, my friend. Which way is Buddy Carson?

Over there, is he? Hey, that's for hitting me last time.

How about a little splash here?

Oh, you need it there.

Let's talk about some innocent people going down for a certain guilty party's

greedy inclinations.

Hey, they were my drugs. I wasn't even there.

Let's talk about kidnapping, okay? You and a jury filled with deeply devoted

moms and dads.

Yeah.

You take the drug wrap. The kids get their baby back. I want you to think

that. Don't do it. Think about it.

Think about it. Stop.

Think about it.

Here it comes.

Think about it.

She's so little.

She won't understand.

Let's get this over as quickly as possible. How long do you keep her this

Only until the court clears the charges.

About a week, maybe.