All language subtitles for Mom PI s02e03 Bad To Be Born
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1
00:00:23,530 --> 00:00:24,530
Hey, back in the plant.
2
00:00:24,770 --> 00:00:26,630
Why don't you grab some coffee around
the corner?
3
00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:30,810
I could do that, or I could deliver the
summons and you could get the coffee.
4
00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:33,650
Yeah, I know this guy's pretty slippery.
Black, no sugar.
5
00:00:34,010 --> 00:00:35,350
You know him, he knows you.
6
00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:36,650
I'd be surprised.
7
00:00:36,690 --> 00:00:39,730
Probably have better luck getting him to
take it. You mess it up and I gotta dog
8
00:00:39,730 --> 00:00:40,730
him around town again?
9
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:44,870
How can I mess it up? Either he takes it
or he doesn't. How complicated can it
10
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:45,870
get?
11
00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:47,790
Apartment 510.
12
00:00:49,690 --> 00:00:52,730
Buddy Carson Redhair is not a rocket
scientist.
13
00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:56,050
Back in a flash. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
14
00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:58,650
He's a witness in a drug possession
hearing.
15
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:02,210
Probably likes to wake up to the smell
of Jamaica in the morning. Plus, he's
16
00:01:02,210 --> 00:01:03,210
real squirming.
17
00:01:03,610 --> 00:01:07,330
One cream if it's real, none if it
isn't, half a sugar and less artificial
18
00:01:07,330 --> 00:01:08,330
other ones.
19
00:01:10,850 --> 00:01:15,190
Oh, kids, kids, come on. Someday you'll
grow up, you'll have a car. Might even
20
00:01:15,190 --> 00:01:17,410
be a classic, too. So lighten it up, you
know what I mean?
21
00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:18,770
Come here, son.
22
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,340
Michael Jordan, huh?
23
00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:23,880
Listen, why don't you go get me a couple
cups of coffee, some sugar, some cream,
24
00:01:23,940 --> 00:01:25,320
you know what I mean? I'll hold your
stick for you.
25
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,940
Two to three, guys. Second period. Let's
go.
26
00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:05,009
I'm busy.
27
00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:06,010
Hi, sense it.
28
00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:07,790
You got a minute?
29
00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:10,009
I don't have time for numbers.
30
00:02:10,449 --> 00:02:14,250
Oh, hey, listen, this really won't take
any time. You're Buddy Carson, right?
31
00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:20,270
Okay, you just take this, you fill it
out, and... My hands are full.
32
00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:23,430
Can you take the kids?
33
00:04:00,510 --> 00:04:02,330
Bernie. Watch for the thumb sucker.
34
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,970
Buddy dumped her on me and took off down
the fire escape.
35
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:06,570
Wait in the car. I'll be right back.
36
00:04:08,890 --> 00:04:10,590
Do you kids know this baby?
37
00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:11,930
Uh -uh.
38
00:04:34,219 --> 00:04:36,600
I got this under control.
39
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,160
I
40
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:57,600
just
41
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:02,880
had that.
42
00:05:20,110 --> 00:05:22,590
I'd be really happy to let you have the
car.
43
00:05:22,970 --> 00:05:26,530
Just drop us off anywhere. This corner
would be fine.
44
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:28,770
Just hang on to the baby, okay?
45
00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:32,530
It wasn't supposed to go like this. How
was it supposed to go? Right now it's
46
00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:36,890
kidnapping. It's my kid. You can't
kidnap your own kid. But a stranger can
47
00:05:36,890 --> 00:05:37,970
kidnap a stranger.
48
00:05:38,490 --> 00:05:39,490
Who are you?
49
00:05:39,570 --> 00:05:44,150
I am a private detective delivering a
summons. A detective? Yes, and right now
50
00:05:44,150 --> 00:05:45,630
I'm being held against my will.
51
00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:49,830
I'm not kidnapping you, okay? Great,
then let us off at this corner.
52
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,080
Sorry, I can't. I can't do that right
now. Fine, I think we're back to
53
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,080
kidnapping again.
54
00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:02,900
Okay, buddy, I'm a little confused about
a couple of things, and I wonder if you
55
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:06,660
mind an awful lot if we were to kind of
go over a few of the gray areas.
56
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,500
Sure, however I can help.
57
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:11,100
Who's driving?
58
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:15,500
Oh, uh... Uh, Stan.
59
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,300
He's a guy named Stan.
60
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:18,499
Friend of yours?
61
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,960
No, no, not really.
62
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,160
He's kind of a goof.
63
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:23,500
Got the rug wrapped?
64
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,120
Just babysitting.
65
00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:28,460
Babysitting.
66
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:31,420
Want to go over it one more time, buddy?
67
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,380
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
68
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,180
All right, let's hear it.
69
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,100
I boosted the baby for the guy.
70
00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:42,200
So when the chick showed up with the
summons, I had to make a run for it.
71
00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:45,280
Do you have any idea where he's headed?
72
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,400
No, no, I don't know, maybe his old
lady's place?
73
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,560
Man, you sure touchy today.
74
00:06:53,260 --> 00:06:55,960
Yeah, haven't had my coffee yet.
75
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:08,080
Okay, I can take her now. No, I don't
think I can let you do that.
76
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,660
She's my baby. Hand her over. Okay,
okay. How many teeth does she have?
77
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:21,480
Teeth? None.
78
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:22,820
Wrong. Two.
79
00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:24,540
She's got teeth?
80
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:25,580
Let me see.
81
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,740
I don't think she's yours.
82
00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:31,520
Welfare took her away from me and my
wife, Val.
83
00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:33,460
We haven't seen her for a month.
84
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:35,560
What's her name?
85
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,060
Leanne. Pretty, huh?
86
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,280
Okay, I'm just going to go get my wife.
She'll back me up.
87
00:07:42,510 --> 00:07:45,510
I'm not letting this baby out of this
car until I know who you are and what
88
00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:49,130
you're doing. And don't pull any funny
stuff because I'm a private detective,
89
00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:50,410
remember?
90
00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:54,010
Okay. Just don't leave with her, okay?
91
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:56,030
Where am I going to go?
92
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:57,670
Where am I going to go?
93
00:08:02,510 --> 00:08:04,270
Daddy will be right back with Marlon,
okay?
94
00:08:20,590 --> 00:08:21,750
How complicated you'd get.
95
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:23,170
Yeah, okay, all right, I know.
96
00:08:23,630 --> 00:08:26,030
I send you out with a stomach, you come
back with a baby.
97
00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:28,130
All right.
98
00:08:33,190 --> 00:08:34,190
Hey!
99
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:50,320
What'd you give her away for? I wouldn't
ask you. You've been there on time.
100
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:54,240
I was two minutes late. Well, you
snooze, you lose.
101
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,400
You didn't just have to hand her over.
102
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,059
Follow her.
103
00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:01,240
I mean it. All right, all right. Keep
your shirt on.
104
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,220
Man, some people.
105
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:06,600
When you try to help them out, what do
you get?
106
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,620
Reet. Nothing but reet.
107
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:21,920
You knock on the door.
108
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,160
The man says hello. You say, here.
109
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,000
He takes the summons. You say, thank
you, goodbye.
110
00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:32,500
But... It's okay, honey. Once he gets
this off of his chest, he'll calm down.
111
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:36,540
But if he hands you a baby, you say,
well, thank you. I got a couple of my
112
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:37,099
at home.
113
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:40,660
Bernie, do you think maybe we could
stop? She needs a bottle and you need a
114
00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:43,760
coffee. If somebody takes my car, what
do you say to them?
115
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,660
Bernie, I have got a kidnapped baby in
my lap.
116
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,140
And she is hungry.
117
00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:52,850
I don't need private eye lectures. Do
you think maybe you could drive me to
118
00:09:52,850 --> 00:09:53,850
cafe? Could you do that?
119
00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:56,130
Smooth move. Way to go.
120
00:09:58,050 --> 00:09:59,590
She's crying because she's wet.
121
00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:00,769
Watch it.
122
00:10:00,770 --> 00:10:02,530
It's your original upholstery.
123
00:10:03,410 --> 00:10:08,210
You know, I can't believe you just give
her away like that to a private
124
00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:09,750
detective. Listen to Buddy.
125
00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:13,830
You've got to lay low a while. Then
things will cool off a bit.
126
00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:16,770
Things are not going to cool off.
127
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,960
Things are hitting the fan, if you
haven't noticed.
128
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:24,200
Okay, I made a couple of mistakes. Don't
freak out. We'll figure out something.
129
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:27,560
Right. Like you figured out how to get
my baby back.
130
00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:33,540
The folks back home said, once you get
to Van, look up Buddy.
131
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:36,700
He's our people. Knows his way around
the city.
132
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,880
Right. I want my baby back, Buddy.
133
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,020
And if anything happens to her, you're
going to know about it.
134
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:45,660
Okay?
135
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,100
It ain't a bowl of cherries, kid.
136
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,720
Diaper Patrol, empty cafe, honey. Let me
take the bottle. Here we go.
137
00:10:58,980 --> 00:11:00,100
Pour some water, babe.
138
00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:02,700
When do we open a daycare?
139
00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:04,960
Just take care of the orders, John.
140
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:11,680
Come on, Bernie, be realistic. We can't
just dump a tiny baby back in the
141
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,680
street.
142
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:14,780
Ankle the weeper.
143
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:16,770
That's exactly what I'm saying.
144
00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:17,949
Thanks, honey.
145
00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:18,869
Uh, wipes?
146
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:19,870
Wipes.
147
00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:25,270
Wipes. Sally, why don't you call welfare
services, tell them you found an
148
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:26,270
abandoned baby?
149
00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:27,350
I don't know.
150
00:11:28,130 --> 00:11:29,029
Talcum powder.
151
00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:32,330
What? What are you going to do, wait
until he gets out of military school?
152
00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:34,590
He's a girl, Bernie.
153
00:11:34,870 --> 00:11:35,870
Talcum powder?
154
00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:40,470
Diaper? Sally, you can't keep it. It's
not a stray.
155
00:11:40,770 --> 00:11:44,010
And she's not abandoned either. The kid
was trying to get her back.
156
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,180
I finally made it. How are you doing?
157
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:53,400
Honey, rush that pork on the grill,
would you? Well, hey, I haven't seen you
158
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,280
a long time. This way, man.
159
00:11:55,660 --> 00:11:58,620
I'm going to fix you one of the best
meals you've ever had.
160
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:02,420
Come on, man. Just sit yourself right in
there and make yourself known. I'll be
161
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:03,420
right with you.
162
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:17,520
Baby wipes.
163
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:21,920
You want to do this? Fine.
164
00:12:22,180 --> 00:12:24,280
That's your business. You do it. It's
all yours.
165
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,340
Later, I have a summons to serve.
166
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,200
Bertie?
167
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,160
I want time to find the mother.
168
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,680
So? Watch the baby.
169
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,200
Watch the baby what?
170
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,720
She can't stay here very much longer.
171
00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:09,590
Okay,
172
00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,050
okay, okay.
173
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,600
She's running a little high. I'm going
to have to fix.
174
00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:32,780
Look, I've got to find those detectives,
okay? You don't want to do that.
175
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:35,700
It ain't your babies.
176
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:37,880
Listen, don't get in over your head.
177
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,160
Understand?
178
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,440
Those detectives, they still got the
same office, right? What is it with you?
179
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:49,260
This ain't back home. This seems like
being chased by a couple of moundies on
180
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:52,960
Saturday night or draping toilet paper
across Main Street.
181
00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:56,020
You know what, buddy?
182
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:57,760
You're the hick.
183
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:00,040
I didn't bring you to the city.
184
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,420
And I didn't knock anybody up.
185
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,520
Okay. Hand her over.
186
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,800
Please. I don't think I can do that.
187
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,520
I'm the father. Please.
188
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:02,400
And a car thief and a kidnapper. Have I
forgotten anything?
189
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:06,080
My wife's up on drug charges. Oh,
really? Perfect couple.
190
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,640
She's innocent.
191
00:15:07,820 --> 00:15:09,520
No, she's innocent.
192
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:14,740
Leanne.
193
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:19,900
Give the mother a baby burn.
194
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:35,160
Why didn't you tell me you were going to
do this?
195
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,120
My guess is he makes it up as he goes
along.
196
00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:48,700
Stan, sometimes... I know you meant to
make it right, but this isn't
197
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:49,359
the way.
198
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,960
Let's hope he has his mother's brain.
199
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,980
Jan, you've grown so much.
200
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,000
Welfare took the baby away.
201
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:57,060
Good.
202
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,800
Look, she's got two teeth.
203
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:03,300
I don't think you're guilty of anything
more than being a little naive.
204
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:08,300
A little naive kidnapping, a little
naive car thieving, a little naive drug
205
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,860
dealing. Case closed. Nobody's the
wiser.
206
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,000
Anybody see you leave her apartment?
207
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,260
Not that I noticed.
208
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:20,120
In that case, kids, kids, thanks for
coming by. It was a real pleasure
209
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,960
you right when she gets work.
210
00:16:53,420 --> 00:16:54,199
It's your box?
211
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:58,180
Right, and you're, uh... Renita
Carswell, Department of Welfare
212
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,700
Yes, uh, this is Sally Sullivan.
213
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:01,960
May we help you?
214
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,859
I'm looking for a client of mine.
215
00:17:06,339 --> 00:17:08,160
A missing person?
216
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,359
I don't think so. She's in this office.
217
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:14,040
Look, I know she's here. I followed her.
218
00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:20,119
Well, that's your problem because we're
a private investigating firm. I
219
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:21,760
understand, but I don't know if you've
heard.
220
00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:23,510
Yes, she told you?
221
00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:25,170
There's been a kidnapping.
222
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,010
Well, that's a serious crime.
223
00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:29,910
Excuse me.
224
00:17:30,010 --> 00:17:33,830
Yes. It's a very serious crime for
everyone involved.
225
00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:38,930
We understand that when the baby
disappeared, she was in your custody.
226
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,070
And that's why she hired us.
227
00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:43,770
Yes, to investigate the baby's
disappearance.
228
00:17:44,410 --> 00:17:47,450
Oh, really? Uh -huh. I wonder how she
could afford you.
229
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,670
We have a layaway plan.
230
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,960
If you hear of anything, you'll be the
first to know.
231
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,280
I'm sure you're aware that Valerie's
been charged of a crime.
232
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:12,060
In any event, I'm sure you'd rather talk
with me than the police.
233
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,320
Thanks for coming by.
234
00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:19,900
What was that bit about the police?
235
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,500
She didn't report the kidnap.
236
00:18:22,380 --> 00:18:23,380
You had to...
237
00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:26,770
Thanks a lot, Mr.
238
00:18:26,930 --> 00:18:30,610
Fox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, what date
were you busted?
239
00:18:31,370 --> 00:18:33,390
March. March 5th.
240
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,250
Yep.
241
00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:43,370
Same date as the case Buddy was called
in for as a witness on the summons.
242
00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:45,570
What happened?
243
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:52,710
Uh, we were driving around with Buddy in
his car when the cops stopped us.
244
00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:55,330
Yeah, and he asked me to save it.
245
00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:57,140
The drugs they found were mine.
246
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,560
Because it was a first offense, and you
wouldn't be charged.
247
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,060
I guess he saw us coming.
248
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,980
You bring new meaning to the term green.
249
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,640
Do you kids have someplace to go?
250
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,620
My parents have a farm.
251
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:16,720
Dan has had a kind of a problem with my
dad, but I... It's okay.
252
00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:18,180
We'll work it out.
253
00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:26,830
You want to give me that?
254
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:41,030
Hey,
255
00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:47,730
guys. Fellas, fellas.
256
00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:52,010
Got a little... I need to find a friend
of mine. Buddy Carson.
257
00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:54,070
You know this guy, Buddy Carson?
258
00:19:56,780 --> 00:20:00,520
Just lost your amateur status, my
friend. Which way is Buddy Carson?
259
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,440
Over there, is he? Hey, that's for
hitting me last time.
260
00:20:35,590 --> 00:20:36,870
How about a little splash here?
261
00:20:37,330 --> 00:20:39,330
Oh, you need it there.
262
00:20:40,570 --> 00:20:44,590
Let's talk about some innocent people
going down for a certain guilty party's
263
00:20:44,590 --> 00:20:45,890
greedy inclinations.
264
00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:49,610
Hey, they were my drugs. I wasn't even
there.
265
00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:58,350
Let's talk about kidnapping, okay? You
and a jury filled with deeply devoted
266
00:20:58,350 --> 00:20:59,450
moms and dads.
267
00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:00,810
Yeah.
268
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,640
You take the drug wrap. The kids get
their baby back. I want you to think
269
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,860
that. Don't do it. Think about it.
270
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,260
Think about it. Stop.
271
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:13,720
Think about it.
272
00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:15,840
Here it comes.
273
00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:17,180
Think about it.
274
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:21,740
She's so little.
275
00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:23,840
She won't understand.
276
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,880
Let's get this over as quickly as
possible. How long do you keep her this
277
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:19,120
Only until the court clears the charges.
278
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:20,360
About a week, maybe.
20171
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