Original subtitles

Hey, Mom, it's starting!

Big deal.

Thanks, darling.

See you later. Bye, Glove.

Are you having any trouble at work?

No, nothing.

Don't worry. I'm just killing my age, you know.

See you later.

Honey!

I'm going to fish.

What would I do without you?

Bye.

Oh, Mulvaney's history.

Yeah, I heard. Is Bernie in?

I went down to the deli for a minute. You want to wait?

Oh, I'll just leave a note to say I was by.

This is my sign.

I painted it 16 years ago.

Yeah? Quality stands up. You knew Bernie back then?

Oh, sure. Him and Norm Mulvaney.

Too bad about him splitting up.

But he keeps me working.

Yeah.

Oh, hi.

Come on in.

Can I help you?

Are you one of the investigators?

Mr. Fox isn't here right now. He's the boss.

I was hoping maybe you could help me.

Maybe you'd like to wait for him.

Or perhaps you'd like some privacy. You could wait in his office.

Just go right in.

Why don't you take a seat?

Oh, sorry.

I'll be all right.

I'm just not used to... I've never done anything like this before.

I hope I'm not just being silly.

Oh, no, you're not being silly. I think Mr. Fox can probably help you.

I think my husband is going to leave me.

Do you want to tell me what happened?

We've been married for 25 years. I thought we were happy.

Lately, he's had insomnia.

He paces back and forth all night long when he thinks I'm sleeping.

And he has this look like he's trying to tell me something, but he can't.

Could it be something at work?

Oh, no.

No.

He's one of the best salesmen they've got.

No, it's something else.

It's another woman.

We're out of dark rice, so I got you some pumpernickel, some lean, mean

pastrami, and some hot mustard.

The old man's found a sweet young thing and asked the heart to tell her.

Who's she talking to?

He's a good husband.

But my nerves aren't the best.

And I can tell that he wants to tell me, but he can't. She was sobbing buckets a

minute ago.

Your lady friend calmed her right down.

Are you going to be finished with this today? Because the fumes are getting to

me.

Hi.

I'm Bernard Fox.

Hope I'm not interrupting.

This is Mrs.

Towne.

Hello.

I'm sorry for bursting in without an appointment like this.

No problem. People do it all the time.

Your partner has been very helpful.

Sally has all the details.

Oh, how long do you think before you might get some results?

Hard to say, really.

We'll call you as soon as we know anything at all.

Thanks very much.

And thank you for being so understanding.

You know, it made it so much easier talking with a woman.

I don't know that I could have, you know, with a man.

Good luck.

Bernie, I didn't mean to impose.

Oh, I'm sure. You told her you were her partner? That's not imposing.

That's impersonating. I'm surprised you didn't pay him five bucks to put your

name on the door. It just happened. She landed you a client, didn't she? Why

complain?

Listen, maybe I didn't want the lady as a client.

Maybe I'm a little too busy right now. Maybe she couldn't even afford me.

Maybe you could paint the sign?

She left a retainer.

It's just a little surveillance job. If you're busy, maybe I could...

Okay.

All right. Let's see what you can do.

Maybe we should talk money.

Maybe we should talk about surveillance. You know, the golden rule is don't get

spotted.

No problem.

Because this is illegal.

Illegal? Yeah, you're not licensed to be an investigator.

Does that bother you?

No.

Good.

Hi. Anybody home?

Hi. Guess what?

I got a job working for Bernie. No kidding.

So you're a P .I.? Yeah.

All right. Way to go, Mom.

What do you get to do?

I got to swear you guys to, like, an oath of secrecy. We swear.

Okay.

Just some surveillance.

Ray, where did that tape recorder that you got for Christmas a couple of years

ago? It's in the attic.

Right.

8 .03 a .m. Tuesday.

Client drops off the subject as usual.

Operative Sullivan enters to determine status of subject.

Excuse me.

What?

I want a paper. Oh, okay.

Yeah, sure. Go ahead.

805.

Something's up. Subject has left the building and is heading west toward the

park.

He has no idea he's being followed.

Bernie, Sally, listen, that's kind of weird.

I'm following Peter Towne. He didn't go into work today?

No, no, he went to this park.

What park?

Right across from his office. He's just sitting here reading the paper.

What section of the paper is he reading?

The want -ats. Call his secretary.

We'll find out when he'll be back.

Secretary?

Oh, right.

Okay. Bye -bye.

See you, Bray.

Hello.

I'd like to speak to one of your salesmen, please. Peter Town.

Yes.

We meet again.

He was fired six weeks ago, and apparently he's been keeping it from his

and going through the routine as if nothing was changed. Classic.

Could you imagine?

Having so much pride, he can't admit that to his own wife.

Yeah, I can imagine that's her job.

What? You gotta tell her.

That's why she hired us. That's why I'm paying you.

But... Hey, this is a good job.

It's good news, bad news time. The good news is he's faithful. And the bad news

is he's unemployed.

Sally, this is the tough part.

Telling the client what they paid for, but they don't really want to know.

There's some good news and some bad news.

I don't know if I'm ready for this.

He's not seeing anyone else.

Are you sure?

Positive.

What's the bad news?

The bill.

I just didn't want to risk sending it in the mail.

I'm just so relieved to know.

I think I can afford this.

God, I have a husband who loves me and makes a good living.

Cover for me, would you, Sal? I'm making a run down to the market. Yeah, sure,

cover.

Are you undercover?

Oh, no.

No, I work here.

It's just a part -time thing.

Sally, you have been a great comfort.

I'm so glad to know it's not another woman.

You're going to tell her everything, you know, about him losing his job.

I, I, timing, Marie, timing.

So what now?

Um, now I go to him and I get him to tell her. Trust me, that'll be easier

her to take. And these people have to start communicating with one another.

It's the three kinds of peppers that does the trick.

See, the red sets you up and the black comes on just a little slower.

It's the white that's the killer.

Oh, yeah.

I followed him to the gun store.

You know what he did?

He bought a gun. No, he bought some shotgun shells.

So it's duck season.

I think he's getting desperate.

The pressure's mounting because he has to lead this double life.

What double life?

You know, keeping up the facade of being employed.

For who? His wife knows he's been canned.

You told his wife.

You didn't tell his wife?

Bernie, I couldn't.

What if he gets a job? Then she will have gotten all upset over nothing.

What if he shoots himself?

What if he shoots his wife?

All right, all right, don't overreact.

What do you think?

This is amazing. I mean, you really look the part.

He's on the park bench over there.

You be careful.

I think the shotgun is in the bag.

I'm just going to take his temperature.

You phone his wife.

Maybe I should call the cops.

Hey, there's a good idea. You can remind him you're working without a license.

No, look, if he's suicidal, maybe you should back off.

Have a little faith, will you?

Ten minutes with me, you'll think he had a lucky break.

What happened to the world, man?

Decent guy can't find a job?

I used to be somebody, brother.

And then when I wasn't looking, wham!

My partner sandbagged me.

15 years.

What happened to you?

20 years of service.

Twice.

National leader.

Pharmaceutical sales.

And one Monday morning, I got called in, and the chief says, we're going to have

to go with a younger man.

Got family?

Lucky.

I lost mine.

Lucky you got your family, man.

That's what really matters.

At least you're not all alone.

My wife doesn't know I got fired.

She's so fragile.

She'd fall apart.

Hey, could be worse.

Let me tell you my story.

It'll make your problems, which I don't wish to minimize, look like a walk in

the park.

I had a great job.

Why I'm calling is, could you meet me downtown?

No, no, it's about your husband.

I think that I might have made a little misjudgment.

I barely had enough to pay for the funeral.

Almost thought about jumping, you know, ending it off. Yeah, I know. I know

exactly what you mean.

You ever had pigeon?

They... They can knock us down.

But they can't count us out.

No, they can't.

I mean, we're just taking a little breather.

Then we're right back in the game.

Back in the game.

I mean, life's a challenge, am I right?

That's right. That's exactly right. A hell of a challenge. I mean, the harder

they come, the harder they fall.

Every... Wow.

That's a silver lining.

Today is the last day of the rest of your life.

You know what I mean?

You're absolutely right.

Thanks. Thank you. Thank you.

Don't let them grind you down.

So, how'd it go?

He'll snap out of it. He was just a little depressed.

You know, for a couple of days, the same thing happened to me when Mulvaney

burned me.

Not easy, but he's gone. He'll make out.

I don't think it took.

Oh, my God, the bank. He's been checking out the bank.

You get the hell of pep talk, Bernie.

on the challenge I was referring to. Mr. Towne, please reconsider what you're

about to do. Who the... Don't I know you? I'm a private investigator, Bernie

Cholman. I left it in my other pants.

Listen, please don't do this, Mr. Towne. Your wife will never get over it. Back

off. I have a gun.

You know my wife? No, I do. She thought you were having an affair. She came to

his office.

Does she know I've been fired? Not yet.

Don't let her read about it in the newspaper.

Let's just talk about it. Excuse me.

If you people filled out your bank slips before you lined up, it'd be a lot

faster. You're right.

Why don't you go ahead of us? No, not in any way. Our mistake.

May I? Please, sir. Sorry. You first.

Don't try and stop me.

I have obligations, bills to pay. There is no such thing as debtor's prison. But

if you do this, you'll get 10 to 20. And you don't do time. Time does you.

What happened to his wife?

Peter, you are a good, gentle man.

Such a good, gentle man. I was fired first without a complaint.

Well, no more.

I won't be pushed around. I'm not going to be here. Next, please.

Dismissed like a good, gentle man.

Don't try and stop me. I don't want to hurt anyone.

Take it over.

Sir. Please. There's no gain in this. Sir.

You're up. Your turn. Let's go, folks.

Come on, would you?

Don't let Marcy see you like this.

It's about pride, isn't it?

Please.

I don't want to hurt anyone. Especially Marcy, right?

Next, please.

Oh, for God's sake, somebody's got business to do.

Peter?

Now maybe we can spend a little more time together.

You know about the job?

Excuse me, pal.

What's in the bag?

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