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1
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,280
Hey, Kel. Popcorn ready?
2
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,616
I don't know.
How do you know when it's done?
3
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,721
When it's as big as Mom's hair, it's done.
4
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,193
Nope.
5
00:01:33,828 --> 00:01:35,463
Nope.
6
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,300
It's Mom.
7
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,002
I just love movie night.
8
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,271
It's a chance for us all to be together.
9
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:47,408
Except for the fact that Mom and Dad
are too cheap to take us.
10
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,643
So they go and then tell us about it.
11
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,514
Who wants to hear about the movie?
12
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,223
It's starting. It's starting.
13
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:06,393
I guess no one's gonna have to yell,
"Head down in front" to you, huh, Bud?
14
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,264
Like anyone's seen your head
in a movie in ten years.
15
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,867
- What's that supposed to mean?
- You know what it means.
16
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,002
Now, now, kids.
17
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:19,740
No fighting on movie night or
I'm not gonna tell you the movie.
18
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,809
That's better.
19
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:26,680
Okay, first the lights come down.
20
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:30,818
Then your father stumbles
over everybody, spilling Cokes.
21
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:35,623
Then comes on a commercial
for some newspaper.
22
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,895
And a plea for the environment.
23
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,696
- Oh, save the children.
- Poor Earth.
24
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,732
Who cares.
25
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,569
And now, our feature presentation:
26
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,371
A Few Good Men.
27
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,874
Well, in the beginning, Nicholson
is really tough and everything...
28
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:57,778
...But then 90 minutes later,
he gives up. For no apparent reason.
29
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,046
The end.
30
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:03,484
Wow. What a great movie, Mom.
31
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,921
Just a little too long for me.
32
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:09,456
No military hooters, Dad?
33
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,594
I don't like starched hooters,
and I didn't spill Cokes...
34
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,996
...And I see no reason to go on living.
35
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,666
Daddy's in a mood.
36
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:22,836
The cashier at the movie theater
thought he was 65.
37
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,941
Well, the cashier wouldn't have
thought it if you hadn't said it, Peg.
38
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,043
Well, I had to, Al.
39
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:32,713
They raised the price of tickets to
$7 and we didn't have enough money.
40
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,584
So then I saw a sign, it said,
"Half price for senior citizens."
41
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,820
So I called Daddy, "Daddy."
42
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:43,691
You know what upsets me, is that the
cashier didn't ask for my license.
43
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,393
She didn't even want any ID or any proof.
44
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,430
She just believed I was 65.
45
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,365
Well, what did you expect, honey?
46
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:57,371
She saw a stooped-over prune
of a man with a young dynamite chick.
47
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:01,809
Hey, who were you standing next to, Dad?
48
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,682
The Red Reaper.
49
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,619
Kids, I don't really look old, do I?
50
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,822
- Well...
- Let's check this out.
51
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,594
Oh, hey, Bud, you gotta jiggle his teeth.
52
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,964
Hey, I see a white one.
53
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,734
No, no, that's-- That's cheese.
54
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,639
I know the sure test.
Old men have no heinies.
55
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:35,409
There's proof positive. Well...
56
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,646
Well, look at that round little apple.
57
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,483
Cool, Dad.
58
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,919
Look at his pants.
They just go straight down.
59
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,622
Where do old guys' heinies go?
60
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:53,894
To that strange, far-off, magical place
called their bellies.
61
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,730
Hope I never lose my butt.
62
00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:00,100
You wouldn't lose your butt in prison.
63
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,405
Gee, I hope I live to see you at 30.
64
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,640
Or should I say...
65
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,642
...30.
66
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,546
Hi.
67
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,548
Hi there.
68
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,055
Jefferson and I could use a little help.
69
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,023
We were watching this old movie on TV...
70
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:27,127
...With this really great old actor, but
neither of us could think of his name.
71
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:31,465
So we decided to ask someone
from an older generation.
72
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:36,437
Al, In Holiday, who played
Cary Grant's best friend?
73
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:39,206
How would I know, I'm not old.
It's Edward Everett Horton...
74
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:43,510
...And if you say "Who's he?" you know
damn well I'll tell your real age.
75
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:47,715
Al, I wouldn't say anything to embarrass you.
76
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,884
He got into the movies as a senior citizen.
77
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,621
They thought he was 65.
78
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:58,192
Really? I thought he was 70.
79
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,462
You must mean IQ.
80
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:05,232
Well, then, yes, he's definitely 65.
81
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,102
Come on, now, Al isn't 65.
82
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,571
He just looks 65.
83
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,906
Now, you wanna see
a great looking 65-year-old...
84
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,909
...You come knocking on my door in 40 years.
85
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,445
Oh, but don't come barging in...
86
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:21,782
...Because I'm gonna be in there
with some young chick.
87
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,785
Thank you, honey.
88
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,793
Will you still be living there with us?
89
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:38,732
The question is, will you still be living?
90
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,568
Peggy, you're so lucky.
91
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:46,940
Though yours is about as desirable
as Shredded Wheat without the milk...
92
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,576
...At least he's cheap to keep.
93
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,745
Al, why don't you go out and get yourself...
94
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,782
...One of those senior citizen discount cards?
95
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:58,218
Why, you could use the card
to have a nice "In by two p.m...
96
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:01,622
...Out by 2:30" supper at Denny's.
97
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,892
No kidding?
98
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:09,730
That's pretty good because anything
I eat by two is out by 2:30 anyway.
99
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,101
Hey, where can I get one of them cards?
100
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:17,971
Well, city hall.
But, Al, you can't seriously do this.
101
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,240
It would be dishonest.
It would be cheating.
102
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:23,677
Oh, right, I couldn't do anything like that.
103
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,313
I'm gonna get me one of them cards right now.
104
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,216
I'll use my senior movie pass as ID.
Oh, but...
105
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,852
...If I'm gonna fool people
to thinking I'm old...
106
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:35,055
...I'll have to figure a way to
cover up my sexuality.
107
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:39,126
What about one of those
little round Band-Aids, Al?
108
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,263
She's 60. There, I told.
109
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:46,733
I'm gonna get you. You better not
be saying things like that...
110
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,369
Mom, I'm a little worried about Dad.
111
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,605
I mean, for a change, he's gone overboard.
112
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:55,843
Since his senior discount card, he's
mailing away for anything they offer.
113
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:59,813
I think there's something different
about him, but you be the judge.
114
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:22,236
Family, look what I got for 42 cents.
115
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,639
If it wasn't for my senior discount card...
116
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:29,009
...This ensemble would have been
in excess of $3.
117
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:33,347
Honey, not that we're not
gonna discuss your suit...
118
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:37,117
...But let's begin
where most things end. Your head.
119
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,021
The Grecian Formula, huh? Yeah.
120
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,023
I shampooed it in a little at a time...
121
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:48,061
...For gradual change, and now
no one knows it's not really my color.
122
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,164
Yeah, Dad, it-- It looks real natural.
123
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:54,368
I really think I did a nice job.
I put it in myself.
124
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,036
See.
125
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:04,044
I shampooed it in, and voilà.
126
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:08,015
A new man. God, I'm cool,
and the chicks are loving it.
127
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:12,419
Can you imagine what it's like
to walk into a bingo parlor...
128
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,454
...Hitch up your white belt...
129
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:17,758
...And know you can have any woman in there?
130
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,861
Peg, by the way,
I won't be home Friday.
131
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:24,398
Sadie Blondstein's making a nice brisket.
132
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,067
The only drawback is I
find myself talking to myself.
133
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,636
No, you don't. Yes, I do.
Why not? You're charming.
134
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,406
Hey, brisket on Friday. No kidding?
135
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,010
So let me know if you catch me doing it.
136
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,781
Well, kids, can I get a "Whoa, asylum"?
137
00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:43,450
Hey, let's see what we got in the mail.
138
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:46,887
Hey...
139
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:50,924
I've been invited to compete in the
Chicago Area Athletic Championships.
140
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,360
Well, can't turn this down.
141
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:57,164
So scare the big spider off the mantel,
because there's a new trophy coming.
142
00:09:57,331 --> 00:09:59,866
Nothing can stop me now.
143
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:08,275
Except getting it in the cup
during drug testing.
144
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,877
- Dad, did you read this?
- Sure.
145
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,146
It says, "See you at the championships."
146
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:16,917
It says, "Senior Championships."
147
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,886
This is for people over 65.
148
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:23,490
Perhaps your hair was leaking into your eyes.
149
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:27,294
Honey, you know, that's
ten events in two days.
150
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:31,231
You can't even handle
one event in two minutes.
151
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,100
Mom's 80.
152
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:41,441
Hey, Mom, when did you start going
through, you know, mental-pause?
153
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,781
Right after I had you, honey.
154
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,183
Dad, you can't possibly beat these old guys.
155
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,019
They're in great shape.
156
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,788
For once in your life,
quit while you're still behind.
157
00:10:56,490 --> 00:11:00,827
- So you don't think I can win, eh?
- Oh, Daddy, I think you can win.
158
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,163
I made a joke.
159
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,465
That was good.
160
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:09,169
So an old woman, a gnome
and a dullard don't think I can win.
161
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,505
- No.
- No, we actually don't.
162
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:15,776
Well, I can, and I will
win these championships.
163
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,378
Bring me your tired, your old, your wrinkled...
164
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:21,148
...Old masses yearning
to ride the bus for free.
165
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,949
Bring them all on.
166
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,986
Your 70-year-olds, your 80-year-olds,
your 90-year-olds.
167
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:31,158
Bring them in their canes and walkers
and wheelchairs. I'll bury them all.
168
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,066
Because that's the kind of man your daddy is.
169
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,802
Good boy.
170
00:11:56,917 --> 00:12:00,587
SWINGIN' SINGIN' SENIORS
171
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:22,976
Well, at least now I can say
I've been to a Dead concert.
172
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:27,347
Get your Maalox, red-hot suppositories...
173
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:30,550
...Stewed prunes, already-chewed food.
174
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,453
Get on your marks.
175
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,024
Get set.
176
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,128
What?
177
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,998
Daddy's losing.
178
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:50,303
Well, be specific.
His hair, his teeth, the race? What?
179
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:56,009
{\an8}And Bundy is fifth.
180
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,178
{\an8}PROPERTY OF
POLK HIGH
181
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,381
Hey, Mom, was Dad ever any good?
182
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:04,985
He talks about it all the time,
but was he ever really a great athlete?
183
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:08,188
Well, actually, kids,
he was really something.
184
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,490
I remember one play in particular.
185
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,126
Everybody thought Daddy was really boxed in.
186
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,695
So he threw a fake, broke four tackles...
187
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:19,966
...Straight-armed a guy right in the
teeth and ran for daylight.
188
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,536
It was the best run I'd ever seen.
189
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:25,438
He'd still be running
if my uncle hadn't clubbed him...
190
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:29,476
...With the butt of his shotgun
and dragged him back to the wedding.
191
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,547
So, in answer to your question:
192
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:39,553
Yes, he was a great athlete,
but no, he was never any good.
193
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:46,126
Forty-seven feet. Next up, Al Bundy.
194
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,373
Six inches.
195
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,443
Measure it again!
196
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:12,919
Next up at the pole vault,
Al Bundy makes his jump.
197
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,988
SENIOR CHAMPIONSHIPS
198
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,965
Get up, Al. Get up.
199
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:28,201
This had better not be
Sadie the brisket woman.
200
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:32,539
It's not. Sadie don't have no cat.
201
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,346
Oh, God, I hurt.
202
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,415
Honey. You should be pretty proud.
203
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:45,552
After one full day's events,
with men who, in some cases...
204
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:49,623
...Are twice your age, you're in 15th place.
205
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,958
Look on the bright side, Daddy.
206
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:57,697
You are the 15th best elderly athlete
in the entire Chicago area.
207
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:01,668
Yeah, Dad, we're all proud
the way you nailed that cat.
208
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,072
I took him out pretty good, didn't I?
209
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,475
You sure did, killer.
210
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,346
Why don't we cut the charade, Dad.
211
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,482
You know, we don't ask for much.
212
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:19,152
Just once, why don't you dig deep
and show us the man you really are?
213
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,187
Make us proud, big guy.
214
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,822
Quit.
215
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:26,826
- You'll always have the cat.
- Yeah, I guess I can't top that.
216
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,362
All right, I quit.
217
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,098
Can't beat those guys, anyway,
they got the edge on me.
218
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,367
Most of their wives are dead.
219
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:40,240
You know, Peg, if you loved me,
you'd be dead already too.
220
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,442
Yeah, if.
221
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,646
All right, but understand this:
222
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:48,748
I was a cinch to win that thing.
223
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,217
We know you were, Dad.
224
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,753
Yeah, Dad, you can do anything.
225
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,757
I made another joke.
226
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:03,863
Al, you could really use some
encouragement, couldn't you?
227
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,399
Yes, Peg, I could.
228
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,401
Good night, honey.
229
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,844
It didn't always used to be like this.
230
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,082
All right, boys.
We're down three touchdowns...
231
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,851
...We don't have a chance, so let's quit.
232
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,688
Quit? Sorry, coach, but I'm taking over now.
233
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:32,492
Okay, you guys, you give me
the ball and get out of my way.
234
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,495
Al Bundy doesn't quit.
235
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,865
Peg, wake up!
236
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,800
Oh, no, Al.
237
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:45,505
Are you reliving when you slapped
the coach and took over the team?
238
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,507
Peg, shut up.
239
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,176
Kids, get in here!
240
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,714
I have made a decision.
241
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:58,118
I am going back to the competition tomorrow...
242
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,553
...And I want you there,
and I want you cheering.
243
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,189
And this time
I want you cheering for me.
244
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,927
Al Bundy is not a quitter.
245
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,269
Now get out.
246
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,238
No, not you.
247
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,674
This used to be my event too, baby.
248
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,915
Well, kids, he proved it to me last night...
249
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,351
...And I want the whole world to know:
250
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:34,320
Your father is a quitter.
251
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,761
Of course, he thinks he did good.
252
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:46,900
Probably because I screamed "Al"
when he jabbed his elbow into my eye.
253
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,753
SENIOR
CHAMPIONSHIPS
254
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,501
- How am I doing?
- Oh, honey, I can't believe it.
255
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,169
You're in second place.
256
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:26,339
Now there's one more event.
The 1500-meter race.
257
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,775
Win that, and you take it all.
258
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,244
Al, we are so proud of you.
259
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,980
You're beating all the old men.
260
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,015
Beating them?
261
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,451
I'm killing them.
262
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:47,227
Well, it looks like it's gonna be
a duel between you and me.
263
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:48,761
It's gonna be rough.
264
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:54,367
I'm a long-distance man, but I'm gonna
win this event and take that gold.
265
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,935
Means a lot to me.
266
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,706
So much, I actually considered
competing before I was 65...
267
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:01,674
...Just to get an edge.
268
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,344
Pathetic, huh?
269
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:09,716
Well, what kind of an example
would that be for the grandkids.
270
00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:12,418
So I trained for a whole year.
271
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:15,555
And I'm gonna win it fair and square.
272
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:22,295
Good luck, honey.
You're gonna need it against that guy.
273
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,797
Do you think so?
274
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,066
Yeah, sure, he does a lot of running...
275
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,968
...But stamina's my strong point.
276
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:34,474
Well, no, not with you.
277
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:38,311
With you, stamina's a bad thing.
It prolongs the agony.
278
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:42,315
I'm talking about something
that excites a man. Sports.
279
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,685
But you know, winning means
an awful lot to that old guy.
280
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:49,355
So, what I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna
run the race until I know I got it won.
281
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,991
Then I'm gonna slow up
and let him win because...
282
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:55,528
...I'd have to be pretty pathetic
to want glory bad enough...
283
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:59,732
...To cheat an old man out of a victory
he's dreamed of for years.
284
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,702
See you at the finish line, baby.
285
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,811
And if history has taught us anything...
286
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:15,381
...You'll be asleep by the time
I get there.
287
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,851
Runners in the 1500, take your marks.
288
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,386
- What? What?
- Get set.
289
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,388
What? What?
290
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:27,153
The hell with him.
That trophy's mine!
291
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:59,819
Bet you thought Al was going
to let the old guy win.
292
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:04,390
Well, then you haven't been paying
attention for the last seven years.
293
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:10,463
But what we really wanted to do was to
give a lesson to all you folks out there.
294
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:15,635
It's only cheating if you get caught.
23277
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