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1
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,418
Isn't this great?
2
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,754
Look at the Duke.
3
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,856
One of his finest films:
4
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:31,725
I Shoot Them
Because They're Injuns.
5
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,429
As a woman viewer...
6
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,097
...What's your opinion, pumpkin?
7
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:42,002
Daddy, I would rather be reading.
Does that tell you anything?
8
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,506
It tells me you're a girl.
9
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,809
Which means your opinion
means less to me than the dog's.
10
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,545
Bud, what do you think?
11
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,981
I'm thinking this Duke guy
walks a lot like you...
12
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:56,484
...When you have to go to the bathroom.
13
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,385
I copied that walk.
14
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,621
I figured the reason he does it like that...
15
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,724
...Is because no one in these movies
ever goes to the bathroom.
16
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:07,094
That's what the folks in show biz
called subtext.
17
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:11,465
I wonder what kind of toilet paper
they used to use in the Old West.
18
00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:15,035
Thank you for getting him started on this.
19
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,708
Oh, my God. It's the Duke.
20
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:24,445
Now he's gonna start wondering
when they went to the bathroom.
21
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:27,214
And who invented the toilet bowl.
22
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,050
It'd make a better movie
than that damn Columbus.
23
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,186
After all, America was already here.
24
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,889
It takes some thought
to think up a toilet bowl.
25
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,124
Does this Duke guy still make movies?
26
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,026
No.
27
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:41,061
Duke is dead.
28
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,933
And what about that guy, Daddy?
Does he still make movies?
29
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,703
Blackie Rabinowitz, king of the bad guys.
30
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,805
Alas, he's dead too.
31
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,708
And what about the white guy
playing the Indian?
32
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,246
He's dead.
33
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,216
What about the white guy
playing the black guy?
34
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,319
Dead.
35
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:06,787
- And him?
- Dead.
36
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,622
- And him?
- Dead.
37
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,591
They're all dead.
38
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,961
Everyone in every movie I like is dead.
39
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:17,431
Only me and Charlton Heston are still alive.
40
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,236
Wait, look, it's Fuzzy.
41
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:26,240
See him, with his hat turned sideways?
That's how you know he's a sidekick.
42
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:32,379
Look at this, Fuzzy's riding his mule,
Dadgummit, backwards.
43
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,783
Fuzzy McGee, the greatest of the sidekicks.
44
00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:39,587
Now, look.
He's gonna chaw, then spit.
45
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:43,857
He's hitting that mule on the foot.
46
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:47,361
Now watch, now watch.
He's gonna go, "Whoa."
47
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,702
Fuzzy McGee, he's still alive.
48
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,470
Matter of fact, he's still working.
49
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,706
He just made a commercial just the other day.
50
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:02,142
You know, that one
for adult diapers, Soak 'Ems.
51
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:07,781
You remember. "For when you
just can't quite say whoa anymore."
52
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:13,087
Oh, Fuzzy McGee. He'll outlive us all.
53
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,624
We interrupt Western Geezer Theatre
for a special announcement.
54
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,525
Chicago's beloved Fuzzy McGee...
55
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,528
...Better known to our younger viewers
as Sheriff Soak 'Ems...
56
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,997
...Died today.
57
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:27,067
Fuzzy is survived by his trusty mule,
Dadgummit.
58
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,238
I can't believe this.
59
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,507
Everybody's dead.
60
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,811
Makes you think about things, Peg.
61
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,847
Life and death...
62
00:04:40,014 --> 00:04:43,017
...Where we're headed, what's it all mean?
63
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:48,822
Why, when a woman's shoe size
is nine, her sock size is ten to 13.
64
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,526
It just doesn't make any sense.
65
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,496
I think that's the one
that bothers me the most.
66
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:56,930
Don't worry, honey.
67
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,366
You know, men have confusing sizes too.
68
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:04,238
I mean, look how big your thumbs are and yet...
69
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,178
Fuzzy McGee.
70
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,147
Fuzzy was married three times.
71
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,750
He had ten children, and 22 grandchildren.
72
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:20,087
Not to mention millions of fans
all around the world.
73
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:23,190
Never was a man so beloved.
74
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:25,225
Well, I guess we're all here.
75
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,570
Anyhow, he died.
76
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,772
So will you. So will I.
77
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,241
I'm depressed, I'm going home.
78
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,880
Well, boy, I guess...
79
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,916
...You and me are the only one who cares.
80
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,534
Well, I guess it is up to I...
81
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,537
...To speak at Fuzzy's last roundup.
82
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,274
Fuzzy McGee.
83
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,643
There was a man...
84
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,413
...And a great sidekick.
85
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,683
Where are today's sidekicks?
86
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,985
Oh, the potential of a young Rick Moranis...
87
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,387
...Or a Steve Guttenberg...
88
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,523
...Or Martin Short.
89
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,927
Oh, the goofy, limping,
word-mispronouncing sidekicks...
90
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,696
...They could be.
91
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,232
But instead they wanna be stars.
92
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,167
Good luck.
93
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,506
Short couldn't even hold his own
in Three Amigos.
94
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,409
But Fuzzy knew his place.
95
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,612
He was a sidekick.
96
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:55,349
He was a wuzzy-wuzzy sidekick, wasn't he?
97
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,618
He really was.
98
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,655
Well, Fuzzman, this one's for you.
99
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,668
Excuse me, sir.
100
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,570
My grandfather died.
101
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,906
He loved "O Sole Mio."
102
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,407
Two dollars, you sing to him?
103
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,981
We're talking about cash, right?
104
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,898
Peg, good news.
105
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,202
They've raised minimum wage for the bald?
106
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,540
You don't deserve it, but I'll tell you.
I've been singing...
107
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,642
...And my throat is parched.
108
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,123
Does a body good.
109
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,527
Wait a sec, got some milk
stuck in my teeth, Peg.
110
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,065
Peg...
111
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,234
...I need to talk to you.
112
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,469
After watching that movie, it made me think...
113
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,472
...About where I wanna spend
my final resting place.
114
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,675
So I went right out today
and I bought a plot. I couldn't wait.
115
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,711
Because I've decided that I wanna...
116
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:34,514
...Spend eternity next to someone
that I really, really love.
117
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,083
Oh, Al.
118
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:39,519
So I decided to be buried next to old Fuzzy.
119
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,092
Oh, honey.
120
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,970
And the mule.
121
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,175
Oh, sweetheart.
122
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:05,979
You know, honey,
they really don't need their own plot.
123
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:07,881
Sweet of you to think of them, though.
124
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,817
Hell are you talking about?
I'm gonna be buried...
125
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:14,488
...Next to Fuzzy McGee and Dadgummit the mule.
126
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:17,224
Well, what about me?
127
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:21,895
Come on, Al.
Let me be dead with you.
128
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:25,632
You know, we never do anything
together anymore.
129
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,801
If this is the way you repay my love...
130
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:31,538
...When you die,
I'm gonna bury you in a dress...
131
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:35,809
...With white hose
that make your legs look thick.
132
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,545
- Hi.
- Hi.
133
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,148
We were just wondering,
do you know where Seven is?
134
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:44,217
- No.
- Well, let me put your mind at rest.
135
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,620
He's been living with us
for the last three days.
136
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,790
- He walked in and wouldn't leave.
- He's improving slowly.
137
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,726
He still can't read, write,
or use a knife and fork...
138
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:57,764
...But he has learned how to chant "Kill
the Bundys" with the other neighbors.
139
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:01,935
If you don't mind, we were thinking
of renaming him Henry, after my father.
140
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,372
- Sure, that's all right with me.
- What do we care, do what you want.
141
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,975
What we want is for you to come and get him.
142
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,443
He's irritating.
143
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:13,580
He calls us Dad and Little Dad.
144
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,351
Marcie, we don't have time for this now.
145
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,353
We are in the middle of an argument.
146
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,555
Al doesn't wanna be buried next to me.
147
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,224
Isn't that the most ridiculous thing
you've ever heard?
148
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,193
Well, frankly, yes.
149
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,596
I think when two people
take the marriage vows, it's sacred.
150
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,466
That's why I'm going to be buried
next to my husband Steve.
151
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,770
My name is Jefferson.
152
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,473
And I'm your husband now.
And, oh-- And by the way...
153
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:43,844
...We are not in bed, so there's
no excuse for calling me Steve.
154
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,482
He is your ex-husband.
155
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,317
Oh, don't take it personally.
156
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:53,854
Every woman screams out "Steve"
during sex. Don't they, Peggy?
157
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:57,290
Not me, it's too long a name.
158
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,663
Oh, now, don't pout.
159
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,533
You've got all this now,
you're already in heaven.
160
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,869
Oh, God.
161
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,507
Why worry about later.
162
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,909
Oh, so I'm just the one sharing
a bed with you...
163
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,245
...In these, your declining years.
164
00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:20,614
I want you to take care of me when I'm dead.
165
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,883
I want my hair done by my own hairdresser...
166
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,718
...Not the guy down at the mortuary.
167
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:27,621
You know, the guy who does Al's hair.
168
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,523
I'm warning you, Marcie.
169
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:34,094
I'm not gonna soap up and dance
for you until this is provided for.
170
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,997
You have to tonight, my mother's coming.
171
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:42,869
Marcie, I made that videotape for her
so she wouldn't have to come over.
172
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,706
Oh, I'm telling you,
I think I feel a headache coming on.
173
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,644
Oh, all right.
You know I can't say no to you.
174
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,748
- Oh, Steve.
- Steve?
175
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,985
All right, we are going home...
176
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:05,225
...And I am gonna rock the Steve
out of you, baby.
177
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,764
It always works.
178
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:19,473
Why don't you ever rock me, Al?
179
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,476
Because I'd rather stone you.
180
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:28,315
Peg, I've been thinking,
I've got one pair of clean underwear...
181
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:31,551
...From that three-pack you bought me
in the spring of '79.
182
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,322
I'd like to be buried in that.
183
00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:36,823
Fine.
184
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:41,828
Impress Fuzzy with the underwear that
I bought you for our 13th anniversary.
185
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:45,165
You know, you male corpses are all alike.
186
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,933
Never a thought for the woman...
187
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,303
...Who spent her life
getting you into that grave.
188
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,607
You have no idea what it's like out there.
189
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,742
A dead woman alone.
190
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,711
No man is interested in a dead woman.
191
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,347
And if he is, he wants a dead young woman.
192
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:02,149
Boy, my life is over.
193
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:06,119
I'm gonna be a dead woman
with children. Oh, my God.
194
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:09,189
Who will want to marry
a dead woman with children?
195
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,758
Maybe Mickey Rooney.
196
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:16,129
Yeah, by the time I'm dead,
I'll be lucky if it's Andy Rooney.
197
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:20,767
I'm not kidding, Al.
I wanna be buried with you.
198
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,272
- I feel a whine coming on.
- Oh, God, no.
199
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:28,475
- Yep, yep, I feel it coming.
- Hey, no.
200
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:34,548
Al!
201
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:40,253
Al!
202
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,822
I don't wanna be alone.
203
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,559
You don't love me.
204
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,061
Oh, all right, Peg!
205
00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:52,999
You've already ruined my whole life,
you may as well ruin my death.
206
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,002
Oh, Al.
207
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,206
"Oh, Al," indeed.
208
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:09,416
- Here's a fine casket.
- Very nice.
209
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:12,586
And this one is top of the line.
210
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,588
Solid bronze...
211
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:17,991
...With a comfy velvet lining.
212
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,927
Oh, my God, there's a dead man in it.
213
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,797
Harry, he looks like somebody dug him up.
214
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,100
How long was I out?
215
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:35,242
Gee, they must have smelled
you father's socks.
216
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:38,078
Mom, if I may be so bold...
217
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,647
...Set aside the funds
you were gonna spend today...
218
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:44,784
...And trust us to handle the details
when the dark day comes.
219
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,921
I thought you said we were
gonna throw them on the grill...
220
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,590
...And flush their ashes down the toilet.
221
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,093
Have you changed your mind?
222
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,662
What, are you getting soft?
223
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:02,168
You two scamps
certainly have a fine sense of humor.
224
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,137
Well, it's-- Yeah.
225
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,041
Honey, we have to buy
and we have to buy today.
226
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,514
So you like this one?
227
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,983
- Yes, I do.
- Well, I don't.
228
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,718
I'd like to see something else.
229
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,520
We need a little more room up top.
230
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:21,988
You know, for my hair.
231
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,790
Oh, yes, well...
232
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:27,761
...With a little customizing,
we can give you a bubble top.
233
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:31,531
Designed to bring big hair
safely into eternity.
234
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:35,268
Gee, Al, I have a bubble top.
235
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,705
And you will as long as
they make strong bras.
236
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:43,910
- You love the guys.
- I do.
237
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:49,149
I must say, you two are planning
your funeral a bit early.
238
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,752
You must have some terminal disease.
239
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:56,790
Yes...
240
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,658
...Marriage.
241
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,797
Yes, we get quite a few of those.
242
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,799
Most people feel that marriage...
243
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,935
...Eases the transition to death.
244
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,739
If you'll excuse me,
I see some customers.
245
00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:15,608
- So we are gonna burn them?
- Yes, that's what I was trying--
246
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,345
Say, you kids dying?
247
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:21,147
No, virgins are just pale.
248
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,753
Thus, the healthy hue on her face.
249
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,356
So you're brother and sister.
250
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,225
Well, it's never too early
to plan you funeral.
251
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:35,328
With the world being what it is today,
let's face it...
252
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,198
...You kids don't stand a chance.
253
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,334
I can't say that I'm not pleased
about it, though.
254
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,771
A lot of young people
are planning their funeral nowadays.
255
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,940
It's the hep thing to do.
256
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,742
In the funeral business, we say:
257
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,744
"Can you dig it?"
258
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,614
Sir, you are one cool ghoul.
259
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:59,419
Yes, indeedy-oso.
Let's talk coffin, shall we?
260
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:03,656
This one just screams you, young fellow.
261
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:08,395
This is our
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle coffin.
262
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,831
I understand Michael Jackson
got one for Macaulay.
263
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,434
It's a surprise.
264
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:19,205
Oh, my brother doesn't need a coffin.
You can just put him into a Trix box.
265
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,576
She only says that
because I do it like a bunny.
266
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,281
Kids, don't you think that Daddy should
wear his wedding ring when he's dead?
267
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:29,916
I married till death do us part.
268
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,552
Which means when I'm dead,
I'm free to date.
269
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,490
This is it?
270
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:40,026
This is your final resting place?
271
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,395
Well, there's no spot for me.
272
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,165
That's why it's called a resting place.
273
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:48,968
Well, it sucks.
274
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,705
I wanna be buried above ground.
275
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,708
I don't like all those insects bothering me.
276
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,243
They always bite me.
277
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,879
It's because I'm so sweet.
278
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:04,484
Maybe it's because of the 200 bonbons
she puts away every week.
279
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:06,886
I want another spot.
280
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:10,290
Fine, Peg, get yourself another spot.
But I have my spot.
281
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,525
I'm going to be buried next to the Fuzzball.
282
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:14,961
You'd better let me know
if you don't want it.
283
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:18,465
Because Fuzzy McGee
was considered a genius in France.
284
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:22,869
I believe they called him
Le Grand Fuzz.
285
00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:26,139
When news of his passing hits Paris,
this place will be swarming...
286
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,341
...With a lot ruder people than you two.
287
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,743
I was smart to buy when I did.
288
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:34,280
Would you tuck that big hair
back into your nose.
289
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:40,253
Now do you see why
I ordered a bubble top for him too?
290
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,788
You know, by the way...
291
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:45,492
...I have heard that your nose hairs
continue to grow after death.
292
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,894
So could you bury him face up?
293
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,463
That way, the nose hairs can
sort of break through...
294
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,500
...And it'll be like we have our own tree.
295
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,303
- And it'll be free.
- Yeah.
296
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:01,074
Anyway, I wanna be buried next to Al.
297
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,642
This is what we're gonna do:
298
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:05,211
We're just gonna move Fuzzy over.
299
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:06,880
Who's got that one next to him?
300
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,315
That's reserved for his beloved mule.
301
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,685
Well, certainly we can move the mule.
302
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,320
{\an8}We'll just chop him up...
303
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,890
{\an8}...And bury him
in some crummy cans of dog food.
304
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,727
{\an8}That way, everybody's a winner.
305
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:25,098
{\an8}Then, we dig up the Fuzzster,
put him into the mule hole...
306
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:27,133
{\an8}...And I will go here.
307
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,803
{\an8}Then Al and I can be together forever.
308
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,907
Hasn't it already been forever?
309
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:38,778
Honey, just pretend we're in bed,
and let me take care of everything.
310
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,649
How much for everything?
311
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:46,019
All right, let's see.
312
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:50,223
That's bubble tops, digging up dead man...
313
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,926
...Ignoring deceased's last wish...
314
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:57,196
...Grinding up mule into pulp.
315
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,332
Tax plus tip.
316
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,568
Let's say $27,000.
317
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:06,639
Well, we might have to cut out a few frills.
318
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,810
How much is it if it's just
for the two plots and you toss us in.
319
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,948
That depends. Are we
doing the digging, or are you?
320
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:18,818
Well, I figured the wife would.
321
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,854
Let's cut to the bottom of the grave, sir.
322
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,357
What do you have to spend?
323
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,060
A hundred dollars.
324
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,163
You looky-loos.
325
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:33,566
It's people like you
who take the joy out of death.
326
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,704
Oh, say, you folks look real sick.
327
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:41,507
And your daughter looks like she'd be
mighty grateful to save a buck...
328
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,576
...If you know what I mean.
329
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:46,479
Peg, it's a shame.
330
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,449
We don't have enough money to bury you.
331
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,217
But I'm gonna be dead alone.
332
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,820
Oh, man, I can't wait.
333
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,589
Well, what about me?
334
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,659
Well, Peg, I don't care about you,
you work it out for yourself.
335
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:02,228
Bury yourself wherever you want,
I'm not moving.
336
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:14,641
Well, Fuzzy, just me and you now.
337
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:17,677
Thank God, she'd have driven you crazy.
338
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:20,046
And, by the way, in case you overheard...
339
00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:23,416
...I never would have let her move
Dadgummit, I love that damn mule.
340
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:27,086
Hey, by the way, we might be getting a tree.
341
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,456
Oh, man, the time we're gonna have.
342
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,159
I'll tell you about
all my high school football stories.
343
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:36,763
You can tell me where they used to go
to the bathroom in the Old West.
344
00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:40,900
My guess is it's by the horse,
so you could blame him.
345
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:43,302
Okay, Al.
We took care of everything.
346
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:46,973
- And it's only gonna cost you $100.
- It doesn't involve moving me?
347
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,275
Nope, you stay where you are, next to Fuzzy.
348
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:51,411
Fine, then I don't care.
349
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,350
What are you doing, Peg?
350
00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:59,752
Well, I'm just showing you
where I'm gonna be.
351
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,621
We're gonna share a grave.
352
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:03,990
They're gonna stack us.
353
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:05,491
Isn't that great?
354
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,327
And whoever dies first is on the bottom.
355
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:10,363
Well, that'll be me!
356
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,965
I know!
27460
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