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Doo -dee -doo -dee -doo.
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Doo -dee -doo -dee -doo.
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What a lovely day it is.
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I'm ever so happy.
5
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What on earth's that thing?
6
00:00:11,381 --> 00:00:12,579
Hello, Robbie.
7
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This is Mr.
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Winkle. Pretty silly name for a lavatory
brush.
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He's not a lavatory brush.
10
00:00:18,860 --> 00:00:21,880
He's a hedgehog. Sure. So what's that?
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A little nose.
12
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No, it's a little radish.
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It's a nose.
14
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No, definitely a radish.
15
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Bye.
16
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Morning, CPAP. Still as ugly as ever, I
see.
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00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:40,150
There.
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00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:41,570
Better?
19
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,980
Robin, what are you doing that for?
20
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Because it was funny. Bush face.
21
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,680
It's called slapstick.
22
00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:52,899
You get hold of some brainless, idiotic
bystander like this. You find the most
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revolting pile of compost in the
neighborhood.
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And you chuck him in it.
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00:00:57,481 --> 00:00:59,059
Funny, eh?
26
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,360
Don't eat it all at once.
27
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,860
OK, who's nicked it? Nicked what, man?
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My filofax. It was in my anorak, I know.
It's got my cash card, my donor card.
29
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,130
What's a donor card?
30
00:01:33,131 --> 00:01:35,399
It means he's prepared to give his
kidneys away.
31
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,230
I'm not surprised they've been sitting
here for a month.
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00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:40,360
Oh, they're getting really whiffy.
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We ain't got it, man. You put it down
somewhere.
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00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:43,679
Oh, sure.
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00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,820
It's great living with a bunch of
crooks.
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00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,840
I've had it up to here with you.
37
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If you step out of line just now...
There he is!
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That's the one.
39
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:53,980
Look what he did to Cognac.
40
00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:56,840
And look what he did to Sneasel.
41
00:01:57,620 --> 00:02:00,280
And look what he did to Nigel Pageter.
42
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:03,220
Well, who did these horrible things to
you?
43
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:08,100
Whoever it is will be caught and
severely punished, won't he, boys?
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00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,259
Yes. It was him.
45
00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,820
Him. Him, him, him.
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Me? No way.
47
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,310
Why?
48
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:18,620
Look, I'm Mr Nice Guy, me.
49
00:02:18,940 --> 00:02:21,110
Who gives you all this old dental floss?
Me.
50
00:02:21,111 --> 00:02:24,589
Who sewed together his used J -cloth so
you could have some really attractive
51
00:02:24,590 --> 00:02:27,000
underwear that absorbs all household
stains?
52
00:02:27,050 --> 00:02:30,010
Me. Who pulled the hair of my Mr.
Tiggywinkle?
53
00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:33,929
You! I never touched your Mr.
Tiggywinkle. I haven't been into
54
00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:35,470
days. Then what's this?
55
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:38,090
My Filofax.
56
00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:41,560
Great, I thought I'd never be able to
network my friends again.
57
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,630
So that's yours, is it?
58
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,880
Look.
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00:02:45,170 --> 00:02:49,709
Robin Hood, Sherwood Forest, England,
the world, near the Milky Way, the
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00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,350
universe. It's a gag, see?
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And he came into workshop, dismembered
your Mr Tiggywinkle and dropped this,
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he? Yeah.
63
00:02:58,530 --> 00:02:59,910
Right. Out.
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Pardon? That's it.
65
00:03:02,570 --> 00:03:03,620
You're finished.
66
00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:05,030
You're out of the gang.
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00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,320
Fine.
68
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,570
Fine, if that's the way you feel about
it.
69
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:18,390
Fine. I'm not bothered. I know I'm
innocent. I'll just... Bye.
70
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,740
And you're a silly quarterback.
71
00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:29,440
And Uncle John says, one, two, three,
hut, all right.
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00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,880
One, two, three.
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00:03:42,410 --> 00:03:47,549
He certainly has, sire. Look, it was
funny the first time and mildly amusing
74
00:03:47,550 --> 00:03:53,109
17th time, but this is the 264th time
I've been sacked and it's wearing a
75
00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:56,530
thin. First and ten, I think, sire. Oh,
shut up.
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00:03:58,450 --> 00:03:59,500
What was that?
77
00:04:10,141 --> 00:04:12,499
Good morning, gentlemen.
78
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:13,880
Good morning, Your Majesty.
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00:04:13,881 --> 00:04:16,778
It's time for you to make your peace
with your maker, I'm afraid.
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00:04:16,779 --> 00:04:19,778
You mean it's time for you to make your
peace with the maker of this garden
81
00:04:19,779 --> 00:04:23,600
furniture? Have you any idea how much
this barbecue set cost?
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00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:27,220
£27 .49 in B &Q, that was.
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00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:28,960
Please be quiet, Sheriff.
84
00:04:28,961 --> 00:04:32,419
And I had to stand in the checkout for
half an hour because the idiot woman in
85
00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:36,240
front of me got her child's head stuck
in the trolley? I said please be quiet.
86
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,300
Sorry? Your Majesty.
87
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,500
The hour has come. Prepare to die.
88
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,360
No! No, please!
89
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:46,690
I beg you!
90
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:48,140
Say your prayers, King John.
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00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:54,139
For what we are about to receive, may
the Lord make us truly...
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00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:58,000
I'm sure he will.
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00:04:58,460 --> 00:04:59,510
Your Majesty!
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00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,850
Your Majesty!
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Your Majesty! Uncle!
96
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:06,980
In the name of all that's holy, what
have you done to him?
97
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,490
Nothing!
98
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,000
Investor! Pretty good joke, eh?
99
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,260
Well done, young man.
100
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,100
Most amusing performance.
101
00:05:17,101 --> 00:05:18,799
Thank you, my lord.
102
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,239
Highly successful plan of yours, one way
or another.
103
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,899
Stole his file of facts, roughed up a
few yokels. Now the entire population of
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00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:28,979
Sheward thinks Robin Hood's an absolute
swine. The legend of Robin Hood is no
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more.
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How would you like to pay, cash or visa?
107
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,330
Cash, cash!
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Thanks very much.
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00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:40,040
Well, I'll be on my way. I'm opening the
Saxone in Grantham this afternoon.
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I don't understand! What does this mean?
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Well, it means that in Grantham, there's
this bloke from Saxony, and he... Hang
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00:05:46,570 --> 00:05:49,830
on. Why are you opening a shoe shop?
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Here's my card.
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If you ever need me, baits,
supermarkets, children's parties, give
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Ta -ra a bit.
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Clem Cosner?
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The Robin Hood look -alike, peas -in -a
-pod look -alike agency, Balsall Heath
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00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:08,990
Birmingham. My Lord, you're a genius, an
absolute genius.
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00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:16,149
Well, if Robin Hood's slipping down the
popularity charts, I think it's time to
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00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:19,330
make sure we take over at number one,
don't you?
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00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:24,370
So will he be back tonight?
122
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Nope. Tomorrow?
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Nope.
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00:06:28,999 --> 00:06:30,440
Ah, the weekend?
125
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:35,160
Boys, please try to understand. Robin
has been banished.
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00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:39,280
What? But one of those bad fairies with
a little wand?
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00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,320
No, Rabies, that's vanished.
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00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,780
Robin is out of the gang and not before
time.
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00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:49,100
Still, at least there'll be some space
around here from now on.
130
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:54,879
Oh, look at this. He must be the only...
gorilla in the history of our warfare
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with a paisley combat jacket and
matching handkerchief so will he be back
132
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:06,759
week no rabies he's never coming back oh
look a grown man
133
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,979
with bunny slippers what a wally
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00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:15,379
well
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00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:21,800
it seems like only yesterday
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That everyone who met me called me Mr.
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00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:34,559
They'd give me treats like drinks and
sweets Then ask if I would like to snog
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00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:40,799
their sister Then the sky went black
139
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:47,180
They turned their backs I see that all
my past has been a folly
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00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,629
Cos Mr.
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ain't my name no more. Yes, Mr's
missing.
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00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:54,530
Now they call me Wally.
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00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:56,850
Wally! Yes,
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call me Wally.
145
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:02,810
Give it to me, Graham.
146
00:08:03,090 --> 00:08:04,870
Look at that disgusting old tramp.
147
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:07,130
Didn't he used to be someone years ago?
148
00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:10,710
He hurt so bad.
149
00:08:11,370 --> 00:08:13,290
Yes, sir, but no -one remembers him now.
150
00:08:13,291 --> 00:08:16,629
It's not Chesney Hawks, is it? I don't
think so. Chesney Hawks was quite good
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00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,250
-looking. He's the wicked.
152
00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:20,430
I feel so bad.
153
00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,510
They'll never mind about him.
154
00:08:23,810 --> 00:08:27,930
Who'd like to stick their hands in the
Sheriff of Nottingham's lucky dip?
155
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,390
Oh, me, yes, please.
156
00:08:31,450 --> 00:08:33,070
There's plenty for everyone.
157
00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:35,470
Except you. What's your name?
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00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,730
Just call me Thickhead.
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00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:39,620
Thickhead.
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00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:43,130
I'll be so strong.
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00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,310
I'll prove them wrong.
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00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:49,490
I'll pierce their hearts with love like
Mr. Cupid.
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00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:56,610
But no, then I'm just a joker. Just a
broken bloke who's known as Sticky
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Sticky Stupid.
165
00:09:00,230 --> 00:09:01,670
Oh, look what I've got.
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00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:03,750
It's an old -fashioned stickleback.
167
00:09:04,050 --> 00:09:05,910
Oh, shit, if you're a hero.
168
00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:08,570
Sticky Stupid.
169
00:09:09,730 --> 00:09:11,150
Sticky Stupid.
170
00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:17,190
But I don't need a musical instrument.
171
00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:19,030
Loot, Rabies, loot.
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00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:23,610
Money and jewels and chest loads of
fabulous bounty.
173
00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:25,970
Doesn't it just make your mouth water?
174
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:29,950
No. Coconut makes me throw up. What's
the matter with you all?
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00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,210
You love armed robbery. It's your
favourite thing.
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00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:34,750
Not now. I've got a headache.
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00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:36,430
You men and your excuses.
178
00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:37,920
Straight up.
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00:09:37,921 --> 00:09:40,879
I'm going down the shops for some
aspirin. Well, come on then, little
180
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,040
I can't. I've got to help you carry it
back.
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00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:46,699
And I've got to scratch their noses when
they itch because their hands will be
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full, won't they? Yeah.
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00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,570
You're going to look for Robin, aren't
you? No way.
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00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:53,820
On my life? Oh, I thought we were.
185
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,370
Don't you dare.
186
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:59,280
I want you back here by tea time without
Robin, all right?
187
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:01,060
Sure. You can trust us.
188
00:10:04,780 --> 00:10:06,860
Oh, sacked by a shoe shop.
189
00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:10,759
How humiliating. I'm sorry, Mr Costner,
no one's interested in Robin Hood
190
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,879
impressions any more. Can't you do
something a bit more popular, like Jem
191
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,400
Bagel? It's true.
192
00:10:15,401 --> 00:10:19,039
I want a nice little earner, and I've
got about as much chance of making money
193
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,240
as a brass comeback tour.
194
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,470
Stand and deliver.
195
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,840
Aye. Just put down the dosh and walk
away, Mr Moneybag.
196
00:10:25,841 --> 00:10:28,299
What's he going to do if I don't,
sweetheart?
197
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:29,350
This.
198
00:10:45,450 --> 00:10:46,500
Swollen glance.
199
00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:49,060
Look, it's not a problem. I'm right as
rain now, OK?
200
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,220
He's not here, man.
201
00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:54,390
Oh, I know. It's iron low. Well, fairly
iron low.
202
00:10:54,391 --> 00:10:56,669
What about the shops? Have you tried
boots?
203
00:10:56,670 --> 00:10:59,980
I've tried stilts, but I still can't see
in the really high places.
204
00:10:59,990 --> 00:11:01,750
Hey! Wow, man!
205
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:03,330
Look what I've got!
206
00:11:03,550 --> 00:11:05,070
Is this a business or what?
207
00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:07,210
I heart the sheriff.
208
00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:12,490
Yep! Made of genuine warthog intestine,
and it didn't cost me a penny.
209
00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:16,920
The sheriff paid... Sheriff badges,
Sheriff colouring books for the kiddies.
210
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,580
Isn't he a marvellous man?
211
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:23,459
He's always looked after us poor people.
No, he hasn't. He's murdered you and
212
00:11:23,460 --> 00:11:25,380
tortured you and stolen your chickens.
213
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,260
No, I don't think so.
214
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,210
Excuse me.
215
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,840
Anyone to spare the price of a cup of
tea?
216
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,860
No. Yeah,
217
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:37,020
her shop's a bit stupid.
218
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:38,960
Robin, it's you.
219
00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:41,740
I didn't do it, you know. What?
220
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,700
Those tacky things. I'm innocent. I
truly am. We know.
221
00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:49,510
We've just got to find out who did do
it. Come on, we'll get you home.
222
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,860
Look, what did I tell you?
223
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:57,210
I don't remember.
224
00:11:57,620 --> 00:12:00,810
Robin, you're barred from the forest and
that's final, right?
225
00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:02,190
Oh, OK.
226
00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:03,540
See you around sometime.
227
00:12:03,541 --> 00:12:04,639
What?
228
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,990
I'm not hanging around if I'm not
wanted, am I?
229
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,700
You're remarkably eager all of a sudden.
230
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,350
Wait a minute.
231
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,680
How did you get hold of this?
232
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:19,519
Oh, um, I nicked it. Um, pinched it off
a couple of group four men. It's today's
233
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,659
takings from the slug racing at
Pontefract.
234
00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:25,600
Robin, you haven't got the guts to nick
the nuts off a one -armed squirrel.
235
00:12:25,601 --> 00:12:29,459
Fair enough. Can I go now? And what
about all those horrible things you did?
236
00:12:29,460 --> 00:12:30,479
Aren't you sorry?
237
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,530
Not particularly.
238
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,520
Robin! So I'll be off then. No, wait a
minute.
239
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,999
Look, you said go, so I'm going. Hang on
a second.
240
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,360
You made your mind up, I'm off. No,
you're not. Yes, I am. Not. I am.
241
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:41,630
Robin!
242
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:49,669
There, that's better. He looks really
ship -shaped now, doesn't he?
243
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:53,930
Oh, ships are shaped like this, with big
white sails and stuff.
244
00:12:53,931 --> 00:12:55,749
You won't let her know I'm back, will
you?
245
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:58,809
Leave it out, Robin. She'd kill us. I
just need something to run through my
246
00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:01,989
hair. I've got a couple of centipedes.
No, thanks. It's going to have to be the
247
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,429
towels that'll look, I'm afraid.
248
00:13:03,430 --> 00:13:04,510
Anyone seen my moose?
249
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,400
It's in your cupboard, I think. OK. It
shan't be a moose.
250
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:09,120
Say, come on.
251
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,300
Tell me the truth.
252
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:14,090
How did you get hold of that dosh? I
said it was a hold -up. Robin!
253
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:18,520
You couldn't hold up your hand to go to
the lab. Come on, what's happened?
254
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,980
Um, I'm dying for a cup of tea.
255
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,020
Oh, are you indeed?
256
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:28,519
Well, over here is a pile of shirts
large enough to solve the closing needs
257
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:33,220
small third world country. And somewhere
underneath is yesterday's washing up.
258
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:38,419
Run that lot back in the cupboard and
find me a couple of cups and I might,
259
00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:39,840
might, make you a cup of tea.
260
00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:41,110
All right?
261
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,520
Right, let's get out of here.
262
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,190
Moose, moose, moose, where on earth did
I put it?
263
00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:49,260
And then I want the whole truth, right?
264
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:53,520
Ah, let me marry it. What am I going to
do? What am I going to do?
265
00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:59,720
This place is like a flipping maze.
266
00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:02,230
And I'll need a spoon to squeeze the tea
bag.
267
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,240
Haven't you started yet?
268
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,780
Come on, just chuck it in.
269
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:11,159
Um, I'm looking for the cups, aren't I?
No, you're looking for our belt in the
270
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,660
air. Now get on with it.
271
00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:16,350
It's true, that woman's power mad.
272
00:14:16,351 --> 00:14:18,369
She should have been a metalwork
teacher.
273
00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:19,750
Right, let's get out of here.
274
00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:20,940
This way, I think.
275
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:24,730
Yo, man, got your moose? Excuse me, have
you found your moose?
276
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:27,540
No, but a horse would come in handy. Get
me out of here.
277
00:14:30,010 --> 00:14:31,390
Quick, hide in the cupboard.
278
00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:35,890
I can't get it open, I can't get it
open.
279
00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,310
Come on, where are they?
280
00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:41,110
If you haven't got them, you lazy tyke,
I'll lock you in that cupboard.
281
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,160
Oh, here they are.
282
00:14:44,161 --> 00:14:45,809
Time, too.
283
00:14:45,810 --> 00:14:48,950
And before you say anything, I've
changed my mind. Have you?
284
00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:55,649
Yes. He can stay for the moment, as long
as he puts these shirts in that
285
00:14:55,650 --> 00:14:58,050
cupboard. And where's the spoon?
286
00:14:58,750 --> 00:14:59,810
Thank you, Robin.
287
00:15:00,350 --> 00:15:04,409
You've been playing a very strange game
recently, and I'm determined to get to
288
00:15:04,410 --> 00:15:11,249
the... What's up? It's
289
00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:13,570
Robin. I know. You said you'd change
your mind.
290
00:15:13,571 --> 00:15:15,119
But he's here.
291
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,170
Yeah?
292
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:17,480
And here.
293
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,280
Hello. Oh, yeah.
294
00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:25,720
But if you're Robin, you must be...
Robin Stubble. Yeah.
295
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:30,700
Robin Stubble? Well, I was, but it's
like I've just been made redundant.
296
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:35,180
Well, actually, I wouldn't be quite so
sure.
297
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,460
Hello, playmates.
298
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:42,440
Yes, it's me again, your favourite
sheriff.
299
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,400
Dry your eyes, little girl.
300
00:15:47,401 --> 00:15:48,459
What's up?
301
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:49,680
It's my hedgehog, sir.
302
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:52,450
He's just not been the same since he
lost his nose.
303
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:53,880
Never mind.
304
00:15:54,980 --> 00:16:01,779
If your hedgehog's lost his nostrils and
his arms and kneecap too, and
305
00:16:01,780 --> 00:16:07,019
all you've got is a piece of grot you
use to clean the loo, don't cry your
306
00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:10,160
little eyes out. Just follow my advice.
307
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:14,900
And do this selection of amusing things
and everything will turn out nice.
308
00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:22,459
Shove your heads up down your knickers.
You can feel its little prickles. Stick
309
00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:28,019
an earwig in your armpit and you'll feel
how the beggar tickles. Sit in a bowl
310
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,069
of maggots.
311
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:30,910
It's a wibbly wobbly jelly.
312
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:35,510
Then swallow an eel and you can feel it
wriggling in your belly.
313
00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:41,549
If a soldier chops your nose off or you
peel a hard -boiled egg, that's soft and
314
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:44,730
runny and you feel all funny when the
yolk runs down your leg.
315
00:16:44,950 --> 00:16:50,689
If you eat a ferret sandwich and the
ferret eats your tongue, then do the
316
00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:54,110
selection of amusing things and
everything will soon be fun.
317
00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:58,650
Oh, the hate fogged down your knickers.
318
00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:03,410
We can feel it, little prickle. Stick an
earwig in your armpit.
319
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:08,669
We can feel how the beggar tickled.
We're dipping in a bowl of maggot. It's
320
00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:09,950
wibbly wobbly jelly.
321
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:14,710
Then swallow an eel. And we can feel
them wriggling in our belly.
322
00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:21,050
Oh, thank you, chef. I'm really happy
now. You're a superhero.
323
00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:22,750
A superhero?
324
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:24,430
Don't make me laugh.
325
00:17:24,431 --> 00:17:28,209
Super Mario, maybe. You've got the right
-sized head and you jump up and down
326
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:32,029
all the time. But if you want to meet a
real superhero, you're going to have to
327
00:17:32,030 --> 00:17:33,890
look elsewhere, I'm afraid. What?
328
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:35,730
At you, I suppose.
329
00:17:36,090 --> 00:17:38,770
Exactly. Meet Robin Ninja Hood.
330
00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:43,930
At the speed of light, I cover far
distances.
331
00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:46,390
See, in a flash, I'm up this hillside.
332
00:17:47,770 --> 00:17:49,970
Then I feed back down again.
333
00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:52,410
And faster than the eye can see.
334
00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:53,850
I've done my shopping.
335
00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:56,680
Look up on the roof, chickweed.
336
00:17:58,540 --> 00:17:59,590
It's me again.
337
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:03,570
And finally, in a series of brilliantly
orchestrated boo.
338
00:18:07,251 --> 00:18:08,899
I
339
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:17,019
challenge
340
00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:18,840
you to unarmed combat.
341
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,220
No, no, no.
342
00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:23,740
Mercy, I beg you. So, who's the
superhero?
343
00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:25,110
You are.
344
00:18:25,111 --> 00:18:26,449
And what are you?
345
00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:27,349
A cheat.
346
00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:28,400
A liar.
347
00:18:28,550 --> 00:18:33,729
I don't really like these people. I just
like to buy their affection with cheap
348
00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:38,630
and shoddy promotional devices I stole
from McDonald's Squirrel Burger
349
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:45,869
I'm a snivelling maggot. No, no worse.
I'm the blood -sucking flea on the
350
00:18:45,870 --> 00:18:47,970
underbelly of a snivelling maggot.
351
00:18:54,730 --> 00:18:58,710
nibbling maggot. I'm the greasy bits
between the teeth of a comb.
352
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:04,110
I'm a month -old dishcloth. I'm Noel
Edmonds' house party.
353
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:08,330
I'm foul, unspeakably foul.
354
00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:15,270
Then go, oh foul one, and take your
fiendish promotional devices with you.
355
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:31,379
Yeah, but not snivelling maggots and
waltzing fleas on them. Oh, no, that's
356
00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:34,920
disgusting. Clear off. Yeah, clear off.
357
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,980
Well done, Robin. You were fabulous.
358
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,200
You too, Clem. Thanks for helping.
359
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:44,439
Well, as long as Robin's a superhero, my
job's safe, innit?
360
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:48,580
Hey, my mate Timmy was great too, wasn't
he? Yes, Timmy was brilliant.
361
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,680
Absolutely brilliant.
362
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,100
Which one was Timmy again?
363
00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:00,200
Number one fan.
364
00:20:00,890 --> 00:20:02,890
Shove a hedgehog down your knickers.
365
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:04,750
You're a star, you are.
366
00:20:04,751 --> 00:20:08,269
Well, I haven't finished yet, loves. My
big scene's coming up now, right?
367
00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:09,320
Wish me luck.
368
00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:10,950
I'm going to see you later, Finn.
369
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:14,290
Oi, you two, stand to attention.
370
00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:17,420
You're as sloppy as an egg custard in a
thunderstorm.
371
00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:19,310
He's just like the real thing.
372
00:20:19,311 --> 00:20:22,149
Have you ever had the feeling so much
happened to you before?
373
00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:25,469
No. There can't be much call for Sheriff
of Nottingham impersonators, though,
374
00:20:25,470 --> 00:20:26,610
can there, Clem? I know.
375
00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:28,150
That's all he's ever offered.
376
00:20:28,151 --> 00:20:30,949
It's sad, really, because he's a lovely
little character actor.
377
00:20:30,950 --> 00:20:34,149
He'd be fab on the Archbishop of
Canterbury or Graham Circuit, but no
378
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,510
asks him. So busy.
379
00:20:37,050 --> 00:20:38,100
Nottingham!
380
00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:40,530
Where's my supper?
381
00:20:41,330 --> 00:20:42,650
Here you are, Your Majesty.
382
00:20:43,070 --> 00:20:45,230
Fresh from the kitchen, Your Majesty.
383
00:20:45,770 --> 00:20:47,610
I do hope you like it, Your Majesty.
384
00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:51,230
One bowl of spaghetti bolognese.
385
00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:57,130
And how about some gravy?
386
00:20:57,350 --> 00:20:58,400
Your Majesty.
387
00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:05,930
And perhaps a little mashed potato, Your
Majesty.
388
00:21:08,990 --> 00:21:10,510
Hey, look who's coming.
389
00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:13,070
Oi, you two, stand to attention.
390
00:21:13,350 --> 00:21:16,000
You're as floppy as an egg custard in a
thunderstorm.
391
00:21:16,001 --> 00:21:19,029
You've read the feelings someone's
happened to you before.
392
00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:20,080
Yeah, I have now.
393
00:21:20,650 --> 00:21:23,790
One sherry trifle with dream topping.
394
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:33,179
with hundreds and thousands and some
cheese and
395
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:34,340
biscuits.
396
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,580
Bon appétit.
397
00:21:44,580 --> 00:21:45,630
Morning.
398
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:47,800
Wait a minute.
399
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,720
I've seen you somewhere before.
400
00:22:01,431 --> 00:22:03,419
Robin can stay then.
401
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:05,220
Sure. He's innocent, aren't you?
402
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,800
What? Oh, yeah. Wasn't it my pen?
403
00:22:08,140 --> 00:22:09,420
Great to have you back.
404
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:14,159
God, this look -alike business is really
catching on, isn't it? Yes, we've got
405
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,260
our own agency now.
406
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,160
This is you, Rabies.
407
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,220
Nah, too short.
408
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,620
And this is you, little Ron.
409
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,640
Nah, too tall.
410
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:26,500
And Nigel Fargett is you, Barrington.
411
00:22:26,501 --> 00:22:29,959
There's something not quite right, but I
just can't put my finger on it. They're
412
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,010
rubbish, Flavies.
413
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:34,550
Totally unconvincing. Hey, wait a
minute. This one's fantastic.
414
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,040
Brilliant. I'm seeing double.
415
00:22:37,340 --> 00:22:41,420
So, I get the job as her holiday
replacement, do I?
416
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:42,770
Yeah.
417
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:44,940
Thanks a bunch.
418
00:22:44,990 --> 00:22:49,540
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