All language subtitles for Maid Marian s03e06 The Great Mud Harvest

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,239 --> 00:00:04,240 Right. Income tax. 2 00:00:05,780 --> 00:00:06,900 Oil tax. 3 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:09,340 Window tax. 4 00:00:12,820 --> 00:00:13,840 Carpet tax. 5 00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:16,180 Stick tax. 6 00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:20,400 Hmm. I think that's about all. What about the vats, Sawyer? Here it is. 7 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:21,840 Thank you very much. 8 00:00:22,180 --> 00:00:25,900 It's a great life in the inland revenue, isn't it? Good morning. 9 00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:36,690 but we still get... 10 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,220 Farrington, have the hard -boiled eggs cooled down yet? 11 00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:11,260 Nearly. Well, get a move on. We've got 200 starving people who haven't had 12 00:01:11,260 --> 00:01:13,060 anything to eat since last Wednesday. 13 00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:15,200 Can I start loading the sandwiches? 14 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,520 No, I haven't done the flags yet. 15 00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:18,780 What flags? 16 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:24,400 Well, you know, egg and tomato, cream cheese and cucumber, chicken tikka. 17 00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,660 Rabies, this is famine relief, not a birthday party. 18 00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:31,280 So you won't be needing the party hats then? No, little one, just the food, 19 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,380 please. Hi, going to make myself useful? 20 00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:36,840 I think the answer to that has to be a big no, Robin. 21 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,960 Oh, come on, I haven't stopped all morning. 22 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:43,500 Yes, you sat on the marshmallows, you put your elbow in the trifle, and when I 23 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:46,280 sent you out for twiglets, you came back with a small oak tree. 24 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:51,120 Now, go away. We've got 200 hungry mouths to feed. Oh, let me do something. 25 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,700 Oh, all right, start packing the sandwiches. 26 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,080 Sure thing. 27 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,200 Just have a little coffee break and I'll be right with you. 28 00:01:57,420 --> 00:02:02,310 Robin, the whole show would start... Thousands of peasants are skinnier than 29 00:02:02,310 --> 00:02:03,530 anorexic stick insects. 30 00:02:03,910 --> 00:02:07,390 And all you can think about is the fact that you haven't had your eleventies. 31 00:02:07,830 --> 00:02:09,389 How does that make you feel? 32 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,170 Well, my tummy's a bit rumbly. 33 00:02:11,470 --> 00:02:13,950 Me, me, me! That's all you ever think of. 34 00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:17,750 Shall we take the party poppers and table decorators? No, thank you, little 35 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,210 At least he's trying to make people happy. 36 00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:23,530 When was the last time you tried to make someone happy? 37 00:02:24,530 --> 00:02:25,850 Um... Go away. 38 00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:27,329 Go on. 39 00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:28,710 Just go away! 40 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:30,960 Marion? 41 00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:34,360 I don't think these eggs are hard -boiled, actually. 42 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,880 That place is filthy. 43 00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:40,940 Go and put the shower on Gary. Yes, sir. 44 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:45,420 Right. This should raise a smile from old hippopotamus' face. 45 00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:47,860 Works are completely bankrupt. 46 00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:49,420 Congratulations. 47 00:02:49,980 --> 00:02:54,460 My pleasure, sire. And by way of thank, I've got a little surprise for you. 48 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,420 Oh, I love surprises. So do I. 49 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:57,880 What is it? 50 00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:02,590 Well, the job's done. I don't need you any more. So someone is going to get 51 00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:04,670 this. Oh, what is it? 52 00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:05,930 The plaque. 53 00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:09,470 Oh. So, who's going to get it? 54 00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:16,530 Er... Er... Er... Come on, come on, haven't got all day. 55 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,130 Oh, come on, I'll do it. 56 00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:26,330 Dippity -dippity -doo, the cat ran up the flue. He ate a bat and a purple hat. 57 00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:27,450 Dippity -dippity... 58 00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,850 Whoops! I think it's you, sire. We'll all miss you terribly. 59 00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:35,050 Don't be stupid, Gary. Change places, please. 60 00:03:37,430 --> 00:03:42,150 Dippity -dippity -doo, the cat ran up the flue. He ate a bat in a purple hat. 61 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,970 Dippity -dippity... Shall I pack your things, sire? 62 00:03:44,550 --> 00:03:45,850 Let's try again, shall we? 63 00:03:46,550 --> 00:03:50,670 So we thought, what can we do to make them happy? And worked all through the 64 00:03:50,670 --> 00:03:52,310 night and brought you these. 65 00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:57,910 Cheese and cucumber. 66 00:03:58,530 --> 00:03:59,790 Chicken tikka. 67 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,370 Oh, no, you've cut the crust off. 68 00:04:02,670 --> 00:04:04,350 How do we know which is which? 69 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:07,090 Pardon? You should have done little flags. 70 00:04:07,510 --> 00:04:08,790 Ike cream cheese. 71 00:04:09,070 --> 00:04:12,370 I want the crust. They make your hair curl. 72 00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:14,570 Gladys, that's just a folk tale. 73 00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:17,870 Well, those folk there have got them and they make their hair curl. 74 00:04:18,209 --> 00:04:19,570 Didn't you do any peanut butter? 75 00:04:20,370 --> 00:04:23,970 Wouldn't it be nice if just once someone said thank you? 76 00:04:24,690 --> 00:04:25,870 Thank you, Marion. 77 00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:27,640 Not you, rabies. 78 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,580 Dippity -dippity -doo. 79 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:35,200 The cat ran up the flue. 80 00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:41,560 He ate a bat in a purple hat. Dippity -dippity -doo! Shut up, shut up, shut 81 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,560 shut up, shut up! 82 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:46,280 That must be the first time anyone's made themselves redundant 87 times in 83 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:47,280 afternoon, sire. 84 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,360 Shut up! 85 00:04:48,490 --> 00:04:52,010 I'll tell you what, the first person to open their stupid mouth wins. Are you 86 00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:52,769 ready, Gary? 87 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:53,409 Yes, sire. 88 00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:55,830 Gotcha, gotcha, pack your bags, you're fired. 89 00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:57,110 Nottingham! 90 00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,150 What about my back pay, sire? 91 00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:02,270 That's why it's called back pay, Gary, you don't get it back. 92 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:03,830 Graham, show him the door. 93 00:05:04,110 --> 00:05:05,110 Yes, sire. 94 00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:08,010 Gary? 95 00:05:09,110 --> 00:05:10,110 This is the door. 96 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:11,610 Oh, no. 97 00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:13,090 And that's the window. 98 00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:16,210 Oh, no. 99 00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:18,949 Is it? 100 00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:20,170 All finished? 101 00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:21,369 Yes, my lord. 102 00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:25,770 Sherwood has been cleaned out with all the efficiency of an army of shaken back 103 00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:29,730 salesmen. Well, by way of thanks, I've got a little surprise for you. 104 00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:31,010 Thank you, my lord. 105 00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:34,810 The job's done. I don't need you anymore. So, you're fired. 106 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,210 But, my lord... 107 00:05:38,490 --> 00:05:43,350 Oh, poor old sheriffy. You won't have any money now, will you? And you'll be 108 00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:48,610 thin as a pin and all skinny and starvy. And you'll be so weenie we won't be 109 00:05:48,610 --> 00:05:53,050 able to see you. And we'll jump up and down on you accidentally on purpose. 110 00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:58,070 And you'll go squish all over the carpet. That will be funny, won't it? 111 00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:04,240 My lord, please, you can't throw me on the scrap heap. I can. I'm not one of 112 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,180 those whinging friends of the earth. I can throw away anything I like if it's 113 00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:09,460 not going to make me any money. 114 00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:13,620 But there must be some riches hidden somewhere in Sherwood. I'll find them, I 115 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:17,080 promise, only please let me keep my job. 116 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:21,840 Richie? Yes, my lord. Just give me a week and you'll see. 117 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,300 I'll think about it. It's the recession, you see. 118 00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:28,260 We're all... poor now. 119 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:33,660 While I'm thinking about it, just nip down to the bank for me, all right? 120 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:40,180 What a bunch of miseries. 121 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:46,240 614 cheese straws I made, and not one of them's been touched. 122 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,660 They're burnt. They're not burnt. They're supposed to be brown. 123 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:52,520 Oh, this one's sort of browny black, really. 124 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,660 Hello? What's that? Sounds like Robin. 125 00:06:57,070 --> 00:06:58,130 It's the last straw. 126 00:06:58,610 --> 00:07:01,770 No, it isn't. We've got another 613. 127 00:07:03,950 --> 00:07:06,670 Robin, what on earth do you think you look like? 128 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,030 Pretty good, huh? 129 00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,890 Blimey, Robin the Sherbet. 130 00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:15,730 What's it for? 131 00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:17,850 To make people happy, like you said. 132 00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:22,550 When I woke up this morning, I was feeling in a kind of a trance. 133 00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:24,150 Oh, please. 134 00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:28,250 I hated my jacket, and I couldn't stand the sight of my pet. 135 00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:30,670 Don't start robbing. 136 00:07:30,910 --> 00:07:36,470 When I went down to the city, all the other people looked oh so pretty. 137 00:07:37,070 --> 00:07:39,590 Everybody knows I needed new clothes. 138 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:45,050 To want to be a robber, but I need some clobber. Now I look so cute, I bought me 139 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,390 a suit I can dance. 140 00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:48,150 Careful, you'll get it dirty. 141 00:07:48,630 --> 00:07:51,190 A white suit. It'll be murder to clean. 142 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:52,430 A white suit. 143 00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:54,510 By the end of this episode, it'll be filthy. 144 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,220 It cost a lot of loot, but I look so cute in my suit. 145 00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:06,340 When I'm walking around to different places, I see a smile on everyone's 146 00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:10,260 faces. It must be Robin Hood, cause he looks so good in his suit. 147 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,180 White suit, suit is absolute. 148 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,260 White suit, suit, there's no dispute. 149 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,220 Robin's so cute, you gotta salute his suit. 150 00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:24,440 It's a real beaut. 151 00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:29,600 And when he's walking around to different places, we look at his 152 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:33,460 look at his braces. They look at my shirt and they look at my tie. 153 00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:37,940 He makes us happy. He's a hell of a guy. He makes us feel good. 154 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,260 He's Robin Hood in his suit. 155 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,280 White suit. 156 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,360 White suit. 157 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,300 White suit. 158 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:52,880 White suit. 159 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:56,700 Hoo, hoo. And I'm feeling oh so good. 160 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,660 Feeling really, really good. 161 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:05,500 In my tasty, wasted, double -breasted, get on down now, everybody. 162 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,100 White suit. 163 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:17,120 Let me get this clear. Your way of making people happy is to buy yourself a 164 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,820 suit. Yeah, and it worked, didn't it? Can I have a sandwich, please? 165 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,400 Certainly, Gladys. 166 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:28,300 No, it didn't, Robin. People need bread, not silly pop songs. What flavour, 167 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,920 Gladys? Oh, anything will do. 168 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,840 Robin, will you please write your name on it for me? 169 00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:35,660 Sorry, I haven't got a pencil. 170 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,140 You could use this. 171 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,880 Oh, great. 172 00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:46,140 Five tons of emergency relief and it ends up as autographed books. 173 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,780 Pretty shrewd investment, huh? Yeah, brilliant. 174 00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:51,850 How did you raise the cash? They're the slice of your ego. 175 00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:54,050 No, it's that little book you keep locked in the tin box. 176 00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:55,269 What, this? 177 00:09:55,270 --> 00:09:56,450 No, the one with stamps in. 178 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,850 Robin, you didn't. 179 00:09:58,070 --> 00:09:59,270 What's the problem, man? 180 00:09:59,670 --> 00:10:02,850 That's our national savings book. It's all the money we've got. 181 00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,310 Be real, Graham. 182 00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:07,030 Go away, Darren. 183 00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:10,670 How are we going to raise this money when we've already taken everything 184 00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:12,930 got? Well, it's always the mud, sire. 185 00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:16,030 What? We could sell holidays in the mud. 186 00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:17,610 What, like Southend, you mean? 187 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:21,590 No, sire. People could bathe in it to restore their youth. But it's filthy, 188 00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:25,270 Graham. Their youth wouldn't be restored. He'd be dead in five seconds 189 00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:28,090 No, we'll have to search their houses again. 190 00:10:28,390 --> 00:10:31,070 You be careful. I told you, go away. 191 00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:34,910 You haven't got me to protect you now. 192 00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:37,250 They might turn nasty and steal your trunk. 193 00:10:37,650 --> 00:10:40,570 Oh, he could be right, sire. You could wear a disguise. 194 00:10:40,910 --> 00:10:41,990 Shut up! 195 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,480 They'd never suspect you then. 196 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,700 Thank you, Graham. 197 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:49,400 And where exactly are we going to find a costume -hired apartment in the middle 198 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,400 of Sherwood Forest? 199 00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:51,740 I'm so funny! 200 00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:57,620 I'm so funny! I'm a big, fat pony! Give me a B, give me a U, give me an N, give 201 00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:58,519 me a Y! 202 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,180 I'm so funny! I'm a great, big pony! 203 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:02,740 I'm so funny! 204 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:05,420 I'm so funny! Rock and roll! Yeah! 205 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,040 Rock and roll! Yeah! 206 00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:08,740 I'm so funny! 207 00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:12,580 I'm so funny! Who on earth is that? 208 00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:16,710 They're not in your repertory theatre, sire. Good Lord, they're going downhill, 209 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,690 aren't they? They might need to stop their growing. Can I make a suggestion, 210 00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:20,830 sire? No! 211 00:11:20,910 --> 00:11:21,970 It begins with a K. 212 00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:25,290 Does it end in an ostium hire department? 213 00:11:25,890 --> 00:11:26,890 Exactly. 214 00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:33,310 And then these eight huge robbers burst in, stole all the cash, burnt the shop 215 00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:37,330 down, ate my receipt, and the entire staff emigrated to Canada. 216 00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:38,970 So I can't really, can I? 217 00:11:39,190 --> 00:11:43,460 Robin! You're going back to that shop now and you're going to get a refund, 218 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,200 right? I absolutely refuse. 219 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,880 Because if you don't, little Ron is going to tear that suit off with his 220 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,100 and drag you there in your vest and pants. 221 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:54,680 Ah. 222 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,360 Pretty convincing costume, eh, Graham? 223 00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:00,360 Yes, sire. And remarkably easy to operate, actually. 224 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,600 Yeah, not bad for one gold piece and a 50 quid deposit, eh? 225 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,060 Oi! What are you doing? 226 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,500 Quick, there's someone coming. 227 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:08,880 Undo your zip. 228 00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:10,449 It's stuck. 229 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:15,110 Come on. Yes, that's it. Take the money. Come on. Take the money. 230 00:12:17,090 --> 00:12:18,570 Ah, good morning. 231 00:12:18,910 --> 00:12:20,310 Oh, beg your pardon. 232 00:12:20,550 --> 00:12:22,270 And where might you be going, Sheriff? 233 00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:23,930 To the circus. 234 00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:25,350 Are we? Oh, good. 235 00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:29,490 Shut up. I love those funny clowns with the big noses and the exploding 236 00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:31,770 sausages. Don't you? Shut up, Graham. 237 00:12:32,090 --> 00:12:35,490 What? Shut up, Graham elephant. 238 00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:37,370 That your elephant? 239 00:12:37,630 --> 00:12:38,930 Yep. It's realistic, eh? 240 00:12:39,230 --> 00:12:40,730 Go away, Gary. 241 00:12:40,990 --> 00:12:44,270 There's not a man inside. It actually is a real elephant, isn't it, sire? 242 00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:47,830 Gary, if you don't leave me alone, I will shove a pack of butter in your 243 00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:51,410 cut your head off and serve it up as a mini Kiev. Is that clear? 244 00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:52,790 Yes, sire. 245 00:12:53,010 --> 00:12:57,210 Right. Well, we can't hang around here all day. We've got to get off to the 246 00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,210 bank. Circus. 247 00:12:58,270 --> 00:13:00,890 The circus. Thank you, Jumbo. Right. 248 00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:02,250 Good morning. 249 00:13:02,450 --> 00:13:03,450 Come on. 250 00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:05,710 Bye -bye, Sheriff. 251 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:06,750 See you, Graham. 252 00:13:08,930 --> 00:13:10,490 Sire? Put off! 253 00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:16,470 So he's given you the sack then, Gary? 254 00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:19,010 No, he hasn't. Then why didn't you go with him? 255 00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:20,350 I just didn't, that's all. 256 00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:23,390 Go on, he fired you, didn't he? No. 257 00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:24,489 He did. 258 00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:26,130 Well, actually, he didn't, all right? 259 00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:29,450 If I don't want to go off with him, I don't have to. There isn't a rule that 260 00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:32,730 says... Gary has to go off with them, isn't there? There isn't a rule that 261 00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:36,630 that if Gary doesn't go off with them, people can ask him stupid questions 262 00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:39,890 some silly old sack, isn't there? Because if you say there is, I'd like to 263 00:13:39,890 --> 00:13:41,290 it, because it doesn't exist, all right? 264 00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:43,649 He did. 265 00:13:43,650 --> 00:13:44,930 He didn't, he didn't, he didn't. 266 00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:46,730 OK. 267 00:13:47,050 --> 00:13:48,090 I'll bet he did. 268 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:52,090 Brilliant, Graham, quite brilliant. 269 00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:53,990 No -one suspected a thing. 270 00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:55,750 Who needs Gary, eh? 271 00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:56,929 Come on. 272 00:13:56,930 --> 00:13:58,550 Not getting any overtime, you know. 273 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:00,940 What was that? 274 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:05,700 I've been ripped, sire. Oh, come on. Come on. 275 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:10,300 I'm really stuck, sire. Oh, you're like a small child sometimes. 276 00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:14,400 You'd lose your head if I hadn't sewn a name tape on it. Come on, let me do it. 277 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,020 Oh, now look what you've done. 278 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,440 You've torn it. 279 00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:22,600 Oh, Ick, we'll lose our 50 quid deposit. 280 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,200 No, we won't. You take this trunk to the bank. 281 00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:30,490 Can I find some stupid old woman to sew this up for me? I'll see you back at the 282 00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:31,970 castle in half an hour. 283 00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:33,370 All right, sire. 284 00:14:33,850 --> 00:14:35,010 That's what you want, sire. 285 00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:44,650 So listen, guys, the man's really downright. They need some support, you 286 00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:45,670 what I mean? Yeah, yeah. 287 00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:49,530 Gary? Yeah? 288 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,470 Do you want us to come with you down to the dole office? 289 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,560 He didn't give me the sack! 290 00:14:58,420 --> 00:14:59,420 He didn't! 291 00:14:59,740 --> 00:15:01,180 He didn't! He didn't! 292 00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:02,380 He didn't! 293 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:07,200 All right, all right. We see something we said. 294 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,760 Because he wouldn't, right? 295 00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:12,400 Because he wouldn't let me down like that, right? And even if he did, Graham 296 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,640 wouldn't let him because he's my best mate, right? So just fuck him in, OK? 297 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,720 Gary, why is your head leaping? Eh? 298 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:22,300 There's black goo coming out the top of your brains, man. 299 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:23,540 What? 300 00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:31,760 The glorious moment for which we've waited. 301 00:15:31,980 --> 00:15:38,220 Our children need starve no longer. The great moon harvest has begun! 302 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:46,000 Why, the magnificent sludge whale has come into us from out of the bowels 303 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,320 of the underground ocean. 304 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:53,120 And, yea, she has spilted her goodness up from out of the disgusting bits of 305 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,120 earth. 306 00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:00,820 Simpler than that. 307 00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:02,480 Gary struck oil. 308 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:07,960 And Robin is wearing a very practical, lightweight, and oh -so -elegant two 309 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,040 -piece in weasel wool and polyester. 310 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:15,960 As you can see, it's still immaculate and spotless after over half a day's 311 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:20,440 But unfortunately, he's going to have to take it back to the shop because some 312 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,260 people don't appreciate flair and pizzazz on account of their dreary, 313 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,480 bossy little minds. 314 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,560 If only I could lay my hands on some money. 315 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,320 Fat chance. 316 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:33,620 Hang on. 317 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,000 What's in this trunk? 318 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:42,420 I've washed these clothes in a powder recommended by 90 % of leading washing 319 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:46,480 machine manufacturers, and they're still not shining white. That's because 320 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,140 they're covered in oil, Snooper. 321 00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:51,460 What exactly do you mean, oil, Morgan? 322 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,940 Something you're going to fit in, lady. 323 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:57,860 Fit? Mm -hmm. I've got a teeny -weeny idea. 324 00:16:59,270 --> 00:17:01,030 Gary, do you want your job back? 325 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:05,270 I haven't lost it. I just didn't want to go with him, that's all. You show me 326 00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:08,250 the rule itself. Gary, do you want your job back? 327 00:17:09,109 --> 00:17:12,130 Yes. And could the sheriff use a bit of extra cash? 328 00:17:12,510 --> 00:17:15,230 Yeah, he's out of work at the end of the week if he doesn't find any. 329 00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:18,050 Brilliant. Then this is what we'll do. 330 00:17:18,589 --> 00:17:19,589 Hey, you! 331 00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:21,089 Tarp my elephant. 332 00:17:21,369 --> 00:17:25,790 Eh? It's a perfectly simple order. Sew up my elephant. 333 00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:28,210 You're not foreign, are you? 334 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,360 Why? What you just said doesn't make sense. 335 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,820 Take another look at your phrasebook. 336 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:40,340 Do you want to be chopped into a thousand tiny pieces and served up as a 337 00:17:40,340 --> 00:17:41,340 old lady burger? 338 00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,600 No. Then get on with it! 339 00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:49,400 Sawyer! Sawyer! Thank goodness I found you. Do I know you? No, I don't. Go away 340 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,160 before I chop your nose off. But I've discovered where it's hidden. 341 00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:53,239 What's hidden? 342 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,520 The fabulous treasure. 343 00:17:57,740 --> 00:17:58,740 What do you mean fabulous? 344 00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:01,060 Well, really groovy -like. 345 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,340 Dead funky, you know, sire. 346 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,540 Oh, and it's worth loads of money, too. 347 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:06,559 Ha! Ha! 348 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:07,559 Where is it? 349 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,480 I'm not telling you. Come on, I order you. 350 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,800 I don't have to take orders. I don't work for you anymore. I've got a job 351 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,400 interview with the Archbishop of Suddencoldfield. 352 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:15,780 No, no, no, wait! 353 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:21,140 Gary, Gary, I've been thinking, how would you like your job back? How would 354 00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:23,400 like your job back forever and ever? 355 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,840 Can I have a new cloakroom peg with my name on it? 356 00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:29,350 Yes. And a toothbrush and one of those sloppy things to put it in. Yes. 357 00:18:29,570 --> 00:18:33,570 OK. Dumb. Now I order you to tell me where the treasure is. 358 00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:36,890 I got you there, didn't I? You certainly did, sire. 359 00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:39,470 Well? Oh, it's under that bloke's bottom. 360 00:18:39,830 --> 00:18:40,970 Under what bloke's bottom? 361 00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:42,310 There. 362 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,010 Hey, you. 363 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:46,250 Stand up. 364 00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:48,010 I don't think I should. 365 00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:51,950 I said stand up. Are you sure? 366 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,310 Get up, fat boy. 367 00:18:58,090 --> 00:19:02,210 Great barrel of punch, you stupid great lump. 368 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:08,550 I'm going to jump up and down on you till your middle -aged bread pops out of 369 00:19:08,550 --> 00:19:09,389 your ears. 370 00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,370 But, sire, it's oil. 371 00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:13,730 Yes, sir. 372 00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:17,010 Congratulations. You've just discovered an oil field. 373 00:19:17,570 --> 00:19:18,570 What? 374 00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:38,950 If you can't swim in it, you certainly can't wash your knickers in it. 375 00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:43,690 It's about as useless as a bacon slicer at a vegetarian's barbecue. 376 00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:45,530 It's only good for one thing. 377 00:20:45,810 --> 00:20:49,950 To slice up their veggie burgers, sire. No, you boil it in a large receptacle, 378 00:20:49,990 --> 00:20:53,390 you take it to the torture chamber and you play water polo with the president. 379 00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:55,890 Hello. I've done it. 380 00:20:56,190 --> 00:20:57,870 What, taken me money to the bank? 381 00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:01,610 No, my lord, I've taken the elephant's trunk to the bank. Like the sheriff 382 00:21:01,850 --> 00:21:03,410 I left your money in the forest. 383 00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:05,090 What? 384 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,480 I'm afraid we're right out at the moment, Your Majesty. 385 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:13,820 Don't forget the vat, sire. 386 00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:15,160 Oh, thank you, Gary. 387 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:16,480 Oh, good. 388 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:21,080 Nottingham, I think it's time for water polo. 389 00:21:21,340 --> 00:21:22,340 Don't you? 390 00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:28,580 You're all dried up, then? 391 00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:34,360 Yep. The harvest is over. The great whale has sailed off to join his 392 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:38,660 and sisters under the desert sands of the United Arab Emirates. 393 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,000 How do you know? 394 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,220 I don't. I just guessed. 395 00:21:41,980 --> 00:21:44,280 Pilly, that oil tastes really good. 396 00:21:46,580 --> 00:21:48,520 Almost as nice as cuppa soup. 397 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:50,440 Well, what do you think? 398 00:21:50,780 --> 00:21:55,240 I like the new trunk, laddie. Yeah, it looks almost real, doesn't it? 399 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,560 I should hang on to that if I were you. 400 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,340 Oh, no, it's too tight. It shows up my varicose veins. 401 00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:03,560 Snooker's having it, aren't you? Come on, give us a hand, son. 402 00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:06,400 Are you sure the sheriff won't be coming back? 403 00:22:06,830 --> 00:22:10,250 No, he's up at the castle having his oil changed and his points green. 404 00:22:10,710 --> 00:22:12,970 There you are. That's all your money back, I think. 405 00:22:13,190 --> 00:22:16,010 And that's for you, and that's for you. 406 00:22:17,110 --> 00:22:19,930 And how much national savings did we have, Marion? 407 00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:21,870 37 silver pieces. 408 00:22:22,170 --> 00:22:23,170 Right. 409 00:22:25,370 --> 00:22:26,890 Five. There. 410 00:22:30,110 --> 00:22:34,450 Start, Gladys. That's because you're not pulling hard enough, porridge brain. 411 00:22:37,199 --> 00:22:38,199 35, 37. 412 00:22:38,460 --> 00:22:41,640 And there's still enough left for me to buy a nice new pair of flared slacks. 413 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,800 Pretty good day's work, huh? 414 00:22:43,060 --> 00:22:44,060 Yes, Robin. 415 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:48,720 You must be feeling really thick now, right? I couldn't feel thicker if I'd 416 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,380 you in a snogging competition. 417 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,980 And the really funny thing is, you said I'd get this suit dirty, didn't you? And 418 00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:57,280 I didn't, did I? 419 00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:58,860 Nope. 420 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:02,640 Thanks, 421 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,030 Gladys. If anyone gives me any puns, I'll save you one. 31304

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