Original subtitles

Oh, this is just wild.

I've just never had it like this. Oh, you're so good.

Oh, yes. Yes, that's it. That's it right there. Oh, don't stop. Don't stop,

please. Don't stop. Oh, God, you're so good.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Thanks. That was good.

Oh, I saw this and thought you might find it useful.

Thanks.

I've got a flight at 10, so can you meet me back here at 7?

Okay.

Alright, man.

out of here.

Come on, Doris!

Stop!

Where have you been? I'm late.

I didn't ask you to sacrifice yourself.

What's your glasses on?

I think my life's ruined.

Why? It's the last day I can change courses.

What courses?

Adrian, he's changing departments.

I didn't know this.

If I can't have Adrian, I might as well drop out or something and go on the

dole. Then I'll start watching okra and smoking giant reefers and eating chalky

bars. And then one day you'll come home and find me either dead or hosting a

Tupperware party.

Putting up this notice will only take a minute.

Well, if it's only a minute, why can't you do it?

It's the principle.

So you'd just go my whole life for a principle?

No. Oh, Mia, you're always leaving everything to the last possible moment.

And this is from someone whose thesis is four years late.

Don't push it.

Anyway, with all this moving and stuff, I haven't had time.

And then there's this housewarming party, which you've left for me to

It was your idea, wasn't it? Yeah.

Huh.

Well, I'm only doing it for you.

Why? Because you ain't stop moaning about the fact you don't have a

No, I don't. Yes, you do.

No, I don't. Yes, you do.

Oh, at least I don't have a deep -seated fear of commitment.

Oh, that's true. You weren't exactly jumping when Danny wanted to move in.

Well, we both decided it would be rushing things.

Then why did you tell her we'd found someone to move in?

Well, independence is important in a relationship.

Honesty is important too.

How would you know what's important? You haven't had a relationship in three

years. I just haven't met the right one. At least I know what I'm looking for.

Yeah, I know. He just has to be left -handed, never lie and dig the same

as you.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing. I just can't wait to meet him.

Actually,

I've got my eye on somebody.

Oh, yeah?

I don't know his name, but he's really cute. We've been saying hi a bit at a

cafe. You mean, like, when he orders a coffee?

Yeah, but I think there's something there.

Oh, I'll clean that next time.

Mia, I could do with some advice.

Yeah? Do you think I should just ask him out?

Well, advice comes at a price.

Hi, Ari.

Hi, Susan.

Are you going to Mia's house or anything tonight?

Maybe. Why?

Why? Why? Because, you know...

You want to come with me?

I mean, meet up beforehand and go there together.

I can't. I'm busy.

Hi.

Hi, Danny.

Hi.

Hey, do you have time for a coffee? I want to talk to you about something.

I've got to sort out this course -changing thing. It wouldn't take any

bit later?

Okay.

Nice.

Oh, I've got to go, guys. I'll see you later. Okay, don't forget our, you

know... I'm doing it now.

So, where were you last night?

I went to this rave party with Savita and I ended up staying at her place

because it was easier.

Right.

What? No, I was trying to call you and I was all by myself.

I thought you wanted me to be more independent.

I do. I just wish you'd tell me when you're planning to be more independent.

So I will meet later.

Okay. Okay. All right. Bye.

Hey, do you want to come to the bank with me?

Professor Leach?

Yes.

Hi, I'm calling about the room.

Yeah, yeah, I am. At uni, yeah.

I'm a med student.

Yeah, but what do you mean by must eat pork?

Must eat pork.

Yeah, well, I like to think of myself as politically aware.

Show tunes.

Sure, no, I like show tunes.

Now.

No, no, okay.

Oh, the clown with these pants falling down.

Yeah, hi, I'm a fun -loving, broad -minded guy. Sorry, I can't help you.

room's already taken.

Okay, thanks.

You Michael?

Yeah, what of it?

You're a man, right?

Beds or something.

No, I'm... Oh, you see that bloke over there?

Him, that one.

The guy on Destroyer? Yeah, him.

Well, he's there because, you know, you're a med student.

See, I've... I know his friend.

He's involved with this fashion design student.

But she wants him to have a circumcision.

Oh. Is he going to have it done?

You see, he thinks he loves her. They're contemplating marriage.

I mean, it's complex.

What I want to know is, is it dangerous?

Love is always dangerous.

No, no, no. The operation.

I've got to go.

Come on, man. Tell me.

Any surgery is dangerous. In fact, strangely enough, last week they showed

case similar to yours where a man developed gangrene post -operatively and

were forced to amputate.

Are you kidding?

Wait. What?

No, that's on the system.

Well, there must be something wrong with your computer.

It's adding extra digits.

I don't think so.

I can't find that sort of money.

Isn't there some other way?

That's your problem, not mine. I can't enrol you until that fine is paid. But

it's the last day I can change.

Well, you've left it till the last minute, but that's the only way you can

anything about it.

OK, can't I just put the paperwork through now and I'll pay the fine on

Come on.

Come on.

Please.

Have a heart.

Hello, student administration.

Can I help you?

I'll be off then.

I'm going to go slit my wrist.

Mia, I think I may be the man of your dreams.

Doubt it.

Get your mind around this.

Fine paid for free.

What the hell are you talking about?

I'm talking about Hacknell.

Well, then when she does come in, can you tell her I'm looking for her? When I

see her, I'll pass the message on.

I'd appreciate that. I really need to speak to her today.

I understand.

Thanks, Benjo.

You're a problem.

I feel like a character out of one of those Warhol films.

Pointless drifting.

For once, I'm inclined to agree with that overrated alchemist Jung when he

couples unconsciously choose each other to express what they themselves cannot.

I need change.

Something different.

Maybe I should get involved with someone who's my opposite or something like

that.

Hey, Harry.

This mate of mine's keen on a Jewish girl, man.

I mean, he's really keen, you know. They're contemplating marriage and shit.

But, uh... Well, he's Catholic, you know.

He's got this thing called a bridge.

You know that foreskin thing?

Painful. It is, isn't it?

I've got to grab a coffee.

Give my condolences to your friend.

No, no, no. We've got to talk about this, man. Come on, we've got to talk

this some more.

Can you give my mate some advice?

I mean, you know you're Jewish.

Toby, I was eight days old when it happened.

To be honest, I don't remember that much about it.

I think you'd remember something like that.

So then they tell me I have to pay this huge library fine before I can do

anything. I mean, I don't even have any overdue books.

Yeah, they're pretty rigid about things like that.

Then this irker comes up to me.

This what?

You know, a computer geek.

And he tells me he can hack into the system and erase my fines. So I go

to his room and then he says he'll only do it if I give him head.

What? Oh, me, you didn't. Of course not. We compromised.

Gave him a handjob.

Yuck. Couldn't do it anyway.

What, come?

No, couldn't hack into my file.

You don't know anyone who's one of my game boy dudes.

It's him.

What? The guy I told you about.

What guy?

Mia. Oh, hi, Ari.

How's things?

Cool. Do you two know each other?

Ari, Alice, Alice, Ari.

Alice, nice to meet you.

Can I get you something?

Strong flat white, no froth, thanks.

So how's it going?

Oh, don't ask. I'll be forced to bore you to death with details of my tortured

existence. Yeah, isn't all existence.

God, I hope not.

Hey, have you heard we're having a party?

Yes. It's a housewarming party, but we're still looking for our last

You're not looking for some really groovy place to live, are you?

Not today, Mia.

That's a pity, because we're really desperate.

Thanks. I'll check you guys tonight.

Oh, she doesn't have a crush on Ari's.

He's like the Warren Beatty of the campers. Everybody wants to bonk him.

I think he's nice.

Alice, don't waste your time.

Well, what about the advice from this morning? What have you got to lose?

ask him out.

Ari makes advice like that null and void.

Oh, but Mia... Alice, why can't you find some nice down to Earthly?

Because I want that one.

Is he left -handed?

I thought you said my criteria was too difficult.

Oh, Alice.

I just meant loosen up a little, not lose sight of what's important to you.

Fanny, hi.

You wouldn't happen to have $663 on you, would you? Yeah, I do.

That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Hang on. Did you say yes? Yeah,

going to buy this cello this afternoon. I need some advice.

What cello? You've got a cello. What do you need another cello for?

It was been fired by my delinquent brother.

Oh, right. Yeah, I remember. Sorry. Just a temporary lapse into amnesia caused

by my present dire financial situation.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I promise I'll pay it all back.

No. No.

No. No.

Couldn't you just wait a bit?

Well, what about my shallot?

You could use mine.

I've lined up this deal with this guy today. Danny, it's really important to

I can't. I'm sorry.

Just let go. I don't even know if you care about me anymore.

Danny, I care about you more than anything. Well, then can we have lunch?

I was just thinking that, yeah. Is Rambarilla's okay? Okay.

One o 'clock? One o 'clock.

I'm not shy.

So I'm gonna up you for a dance and I hope it lasts all night.

Cause I might not see you ever again.

And I heard that you were shy.

But you told me just the other night.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, hi.

Well, bye.

You make a good cup of coffee.

Oh, thanks.

I don't like froth.

That was a really dumb thing to say about the froth.

Oh, God.

Is this OK?

Yeah. Sit down.

Do you make coffee all the time?

No, no, I'm in the midst of doing my thesis.

What on?

Doris Day's Feminist Warrior.

You're into popular culture and all that.

How about you?

Classic.

Classic, wow.

I bet you're really brainy and deep and read Socrates when you're relaxing.

I suppose your parents are in publishing or academia and you all speak ancient

Greek around the table. It'll stop me if I make a complete idiot of myself.

No, you're cute.

Anyway, that about sums me up.

Tell me more about your thesis.

Oh, it's all a bit dull, really.

No, it sounds interesting.

Classics sounds interesting.

What do you do with a degree in classics?

What do you do with a thesis on Doris Day?

Oh, shit.

What's wrong?

What are you doing?

It's my supervisor.

Have you heard about Toby? What about Toby? He's thinking about having a

Oh, you mean Voluntary? No, he's been kidnapped by some cult that tie up boys

and then cut off their jacket.

Toby must be out of his mind. It must be some macho thing. I think it's got

something to do with a girl.

Doesn't ribbing compensate?

Apparently not.

Could you keep it down, please?

Okay?

Have you heard about Michael Samuels?

Hey,

either of you guys got a dollar coin?

Sorry, man.

How about you, man?

Um...

There you go. Cheers.

I've only got a tenner.

Well, that's cool. Thanks, man.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Ari, right?

Yeah. Name's Michael.

Oh, sorry.

It's cool.

Yeah, I've been having a real shitty time lately. I can't get any work done.

I'm living with a bunch of non -stop party animals.

I mean, I like to party as much as the next guy, you know, but these guys,

they're just amazing.

They're just not human. They never stop.

It's my own fault, really. I should never move in with a bunch of med

Yeah, med students are crazy fuckers. Yeah.

I'm a med student.

Right.

I'll be seeing you. I mean, they're nice guys and everything. I've just got to

get out of there, you know.

It seems impossible to find somewhere unless you're an open -minded,

aware vegan Nazi who can sing show tunes.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Good luck.

See you, Ari.

Michael, some friends of mine are looking for someone to move into their

there. You know, pretty cool.

Maybe I can introduce you to them.

Mate, that would be great. That's fantastic, yeah. Michael, stay cool. You

haven't met them yet.

I'm cool.

I'm cool.

There you go, fun page.

Over to my dead body, you will. Look, you can have the bloody house, but Angus

is living with me.

Yeah, do you have any idea what you sound like?

Yeah, you sound like television soap opera.

Yeah. And honey, honey, quite frankly, yeah, I'm turning you off because you

bore me fucking stupid.

Mia, nice to see you. Sit down.

It's just a quick matter.

Anything for one of this department's most brilliant students.

Would you like a donut?

No, thanks. I'm not hungry.

Please, have one. Come on, come on.

You never even wanted Angus in the first place, so forget it, my pet. He's

living with me.

Um, look.

Look.

18 years. 18 years and she leaves me for a fucking actor.

And she wants Angus too.

Isn't he sweet?

It's his third birthday next week.

He's lovely.

Sorry about this.

What can I do for you?

Oh, I just need you to sign a form.

Why,

Mia? Are you not happy?

I'm very happy. It's just personal reasons.

I wish you'd tell me. I'd like to think that we were friends.

I can't.

Mia, this is not a decision to be taken lightly.

I mean, you can't expect to go willy -nilly from one department to the next.

Well, I'm sure I'm making the right decision.

And if you do change, I, for one, would take a very dim view of you ever

returning. Well, I have no intention of, um... I mean, um... I'm sure I'm making

the right move, so... I see.

I see.

You haven't exactly been a model student whilst you've been with us, have you,

now? Your essays have been constantly late. Your class attendance has been

dreadful.

Well, perhaps you do belong in some other department.

Here, I won't sign it until the head of that other department signs it.

Let's see whether they'll stoop low enough before I set you free.

Sorry, I just had to finish that pencil.

So, is that fine then? I can join the department?

Sure, no problem. We're happy to have you.

Great. You completed all the necessary prerequisite subjects.

I'm sure I have.

Good. So what was it you wanted from me again?

Just a signature, so I can join your department.

Oh, right. Look, I'm sorry. I can't do anything for you until Professor Leach

releases you from his department.

Absolutely not. No way. Go back and tell her that if she wants you, she has to

sign first.

She knows that those are the rules.

Will you please sign this form?

No. Please.

No. Please.

No. Please. Not until she signs first.

And don't forget my lecture. You're still in this department.

Do you know her well?

Been together a couple of times.

Though, you know, looks can be deceiving.

Wish girls like that would deceive me.

In fact, any girl. It's been a while since I've been with anyone.

Why? You're a pretty good -looking guy.

I don't know. I just find it hard to meet anyone I like.

Look at those parties at your place.

Strictly a bloke's affair.

I don't think anyone there ever brought a girl over. You know, male med

students. All talk, no action. Getting out of there was a great idea.

There is this one girl, you know, she seems really cute.

Well, pretty cute, but she seems like the type of girl who'd like to get a

-term thing happening.

Oh, screw it.

I'm just waiting for the right opportunity.

Michael, you're being too cautious.

The trick is confidence.

Women really go for men who know what they're doing.

I'll keep that in mind.

See, I'm still a bit cautious after my last encounter.

Oh, yeah?

Freaked me out badly, you know? It's not that tragic.

It's important to have lots of experiences.

My motto is you should make a point of trying everything once, except incest

folk dancing.

You see, I know what I want.

That's the easy part.

Just finding someone to fit the bill. You got a checklist?

Don't you think it's important to share the same interests and tastes?

Mia! Mia!

Hi, I can't stop. Just come here.

I can't, I can't. I found a potential housemate.

Potential what?

A housemate. Friend of Ari's. Great.

We'll meet him at Silvana's Cafe at one. Okay, bye. That's where I'm meeting...

That's absurd. He knows my hands are tied.

Look, why don't you go down and see Mr.

Papadopoulos at the Office for Course Enrollments and Alterations. Get him to

sign, and then I'll sign.

Oh, I'm looking for Mr Papadopoulos. I'm afraid he's out for lunch.

Could you come back around two?

Oh.

I'm sorry.

That's all right. It's not your fault. My life's a complete disaster.

Oh, Adrian.

Now, the thing I want to discuss today is the auteur, which is either a

mammal or it's French for author, but I'm pretty confident it's the latter.

Now, many of you are probably already familiar with the term auteur theory.

We're going to be discussing auteurism, not just as a theory, but as a critical

practice.

Now, this semester, we will be looking exclusively at the works of Alfred

Hitchcock.

He's like yesterday.

Quentin is the best.

Leave it alone.

He's only made a few films.

Woody Allen, he's the top.

Bananas? Manhattan?

Andy Hall?

A villain!

Woody is a nerd.

Jake, he is cool.

in the task of mapping out and interpreting the Hitchcock universe.

A universe populated by such things as the eternally castrated male hero,

the ice princess, the absent whore mother, the deadly

doppelgangers, and such

things.

Man, do you know anything about dreams? No. A friend of mine keeps having this

dream. He's looking for his girlfriend.

He finds himself outside her apartment building.

And on his way in, he meets her father, who says he's going to the hospital.

I hate hospitals.

It's a spooky place.

He goes inside, and the building's much grander than her place in real life.

And he takes the lift up to the 20th floor.

But he never gets there.

I told you hospitals were spooky places.

Eh?

He's not in a hospital. He's in his girlfriend's apartment building. Right.

When the lift opens at the sixth floor, he's compelled to get out. Eerie. Yeah,

really eerie. He sees lots of people, all dressed up formal, you know, like

Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, going into an apartment.

So he follows.

Woody Allen's at the entrance, and he tells him the apartment's open for

inspection. Woody Allen was in his dreams. Yeah, but he's always in his

Inside, there's lots of commotion. The guy feels trapped, confused.

The crowd has gathered in a circle, and he's drawn into it.

Part of him wants to look away, but something compels him to look.

There's a baby boy, naked, in a cot, and his girlfriend's wielding a razor.

Then it ends.

Right.

What, do you think it means something?

I don't know. It sounds like the guy's got an insecurity problem with his dick.

Um... Do you know if it's really tiny?

But what is Amor, or love, doing to Omnia everything?

It's conquering it, overcoming it, and so furnishing us with one of the most

important tenets of Christian humanism.

Omnia, Winslet, Amor.

Okay, next week, the subjunctive.

What exactly does she mean by Christian humanists conquering love?

It's not about anyone or anything conquering love. It's like love's got

upper hand.

If love is your main subject, it does it, and everything else is predicated by

love. Or in this case, Vincent, everything else is conquered by love.

Amour us.

Love wins over everything else.

Omnia, Vincent, Amour.

And next week it's going to be in the subjunctive, right?

Forget about next week in the subjunctive.

We're talking transitive definitives here.

No ifs, buts or maybes.

Omnia, Vincent, Amour.

Love beats the shit out of all those neuter plurals.

Yeah, cool. I get it.

I'll see you later, Michael.

Yeah.

I

don't know

that many people in Melbourne. I come from a pretty small town.

Don't know that many people back home either.

I spent most of my time swatting for exams.

I always wanted to be a doctor.

But not a quick fix doctor, you know, spend five seconds with a patient, hand

out some pills to support the pharmaceutical industry, you know, send

the merry way.

No, I always want to be able to take the whole person into account, like an old

-fashioned family doctor who really knows their patients.

Modern medicine, in some ways, has become a panacea for the problems

modern living. And rather than helping people to become healthy individuals,

know, we just...

patch up the problems created by modern society.

Yeah.

I wonder where Alice is.

Oh, shit.

It's Danny.

Who?

My girlfriend.

You're my cousin, okay?

My cousin's from out of town, and you don't want a room, okay? There's no

Danny, hi.

I've just been waiting at Rumborello's for 40 minutes.

Rumborello's? I thought we were meeting here.

No. Oh.

Sit down, guys.

My cousin, I'm a cousin by marriage Michael Douglas. Well, it's not the

attraction Well,

I

shall be going not to meet you all

See you tonight, cousin.

Good luck with finding somebody for that room.

Bye.

I can explain all that.

Can you?

Of course.

So did you just keep me waiting at Rumborello's because you were busy with

cousin? Look, I've just been under a lot of pressure.

Yeah, but you do this to me all the time.

Well, you're not exactly perfect.

Don't try and justify your behaviour by insinuating things about me.

I have no behaviour to justify.

Well, then what is your problem?

Well, I just had bad luck, that's all. But you were always having bad luck.

Well, it's the truth.

Well, maybe it's true, but does your subconscious know that it's true?

I'll tell you my psychotherapist now. I'm just trying to be honest.

And I'm not.

You lie all the time.

Oh, come on, have a little faith.

Good lie.

Which movie did you get that from?

But you're right, you know, in a relationship, there has to be faith.

If you've lost that, then you've lost everything.

Yeah, I suppose when that's gone, there's not much point.

Do you mean that?

What? What you just said.

Uh -huh.

Well, I guess that settles it.

I guess it does.

There's not much point in me hanging around then, is there?

So, um... Have a nice day.

Oh, yeah, and don't forget to take your shadow with you.

Fuck.

Sorry. I've missed him, haven't I?

I ran into Novak.

There was no escaping.

Was he any good?

Is he going to move in?

Hey, guess who I'm meeting here?

Who? Ari.

Oh, that's nice.

I've got to go.

What's the matter?

Oh, nothing. I...

Hi, Mia.

Hi, Mr.

Papadopoulos.

Mr. Papadopoulos!

Can you sign this form?

There you go.

Thanks.

What do you mean?

Professor Lee just died.

He died?

And I knew he was seeing this other woman when we met, so I asked him about

and he denied it. He said he'd never been with her, but I knew he was lying.

So, I don't know, I just... I couldn't trust him after that.

It didn't work out.

I just think people should be honest with each other.

Is that unreasonable?

Maybe he was trying to protect you.

Protect me from what? From getting hurt.

Oh, it hurt me that he couldn't tell me the truth.

Don't you think you're putting too much emphasis on truth?

You think truth is good, but truth is reality.

What do you mean?

You can't come face to face with truth too frequently or it'll blow you away.

Well, I think we need truth and honesty so that we can deal with reality. I

think we need them to survive.

We're having lunch together.

That's the kind of a truth.

So, um, have you got a part -time job?

Hey, Mia.

What's up?

You're looking a little the worse for wear, man.

The university's trying to ruin my life. It's a conspiracy.

You too, huh?

Some pretty weird shit has been happening to me lately.

What, like getting a $663 library fine for books you can't even remember

borrowing? Wow.

Yeah, exactly.

They keep sending me these really terse letters saying I can't borrow ever again

because I've still got books that I know I returned in first year on time.

That used to happen to me in high school too. Maybe they're in on it together.

What's even worse than that is they've set the library security alarms to

thieves and me.

It doesn't happen all the time. It's random.

They sort of lull me into a false sense of security, and then, bam!

Complete humiliation.

I must be searched at least two or three times a week. I'm starting to get

really paranoid.

I think that's the plan.

I've developed this anxiety about walking through doorways.

It took me two and a half hours to leave the house this morning.

Hey, don't cry, Mia.

It's OK.

which had a heart attack and died.

Oh, God.

Were you close?

I couldn't stand him.

It was meant to sign this fucking form.

It's the last day. It's 3 .30. I'm ruined.

I'll never get into Adrian's class.

I'm sure they'll understand.

They don't care.

Well, can't you fake his dignity?

I mean, they can hardly check with him, can they? I don't know what it looks

like. I need his stamp thingy.

Now get into his office.

It's locked.

We could climb in the window.

It's on the fifth floor.

I'm doomed.

I know what to do.

Meet me here in an hour.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mia. I have to go and see my counsellor. Will you be okay till I

get back?

He's my perfect supervisor.

I mean, he's admitted to me that he actually despises Doris Day even though

the world's leading authority on her.

I just feel so guilty.

I promised him that I would show him this draft and I can't.

It's not good enough.

Maybe I'm just a loser and I know I'm not good enough and I'll fail.

Mia thinks I'm like that with boys.

She reckons my criteria for...

you know, the one, are unrealistic and that I'm, I don't know, I'm limiting my

options.

One, I prefer boys that are left -handed.

Two, they've got to like the same films and, you know.

And three, they've got to be honest.

You know, I believe in the forces of fate and I've always felt that I would

my match at university.

It might sound crazy, but...

Intuition and romantic fatalism shouldn't be taken lightly.

Oh, but maybe Mia's right.

Maybe I am too rigid about this stuff.

That's it.

You've cracked it.

The connection.

The reason why I can't write anymore. The reason I'm here.

It's because all this time I've subconsciously been waiting to meet the

boy, and that's what's been deflecting me from my purpose.

And now that I realise I've just been suffering from a simple psychotic

depression, I feel strangely empowered.

I think I've met the boy.

I think this is it.

I mean, he may not fit my criteria, but... I don't care anymore.

waiting for someone hi um

i'm gonna need to get that money back on.

Yeah, I know.

Good. Me and Savita are planning to go away, so I want to get this cello

business out of the way first.

Oh, I like that. Nice.

Yeah, we're going to Savita's parents' farm.

Oh, farm.

They breed cattle.

Oh, cattle farm.

Oh, it's a wonderful opportunity to get away.

Yeah, well, I think it will do me some good.

Yeah. Oh, no, it'll be great. All that fresh air, up at dawn to feed the cows,

all that good food.

You've warned them that you're a veggie.

No decent coffee or chocolate for miles around to tempt you. The exercise, the

walk.

Feeding the animals with hay.

Yeah, I love the country. I'm really looking forward to it.

Oh, I forgot, though, you won't be able to do that bit, will you? I mean, with

the hay.

She's got terrible allergies.

Oh, that's fine. I'll just take some antihistamines up with me and, um, won't

a problem.

Oh, I remember that time we went to Aunty Jo's and, um, we ran into the barn

collect some eggs and poor Dan's head swelled up like a balloon.

Oh, that's right. The next day, um, I snuck into Dan's room, right, and we

trying to be really quiet.

And Aunty Jo comes in to see if she's okay.

And Dan's trying to carry out this very polite conversation with her. And the

whole time I'm under the covers, right, giving her a... Yeah, so, um,

yeah, we managed to have a pretty good time, despite Danny's allergies.

Rashes, refusal to leave the house in case she got bitten by snakes or

Alice, Danny and Savita are going to the country.

Really? I thought you didn't like the country.

Um, look, me and Savita have really got to go, so don't forget my money, okay?

See you at the party. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Can you believe that?

What if Danny's seeing her?

What's going on?

Oh, we split up.

Oh, Mia, honey, you haven't. She's already going with someone.

Why? I don't know.

They're totally incompatible.

No, I mean, why did you split up?

Oh, you know, we weren't getting on. I'm cool about it.

No, no, this is not a good idea.

What are you doing here?

Um, I've come to get something I left in Professor Leach's office. An essay.

Alice, Richard had a heart attack this afternoon.

What do you mean?

He died.

He died?

Look, if it's urgent, I can get him with our master key.

Oh, no.

Oh, I couldn't. I don't think that's right. No, I've got to go.

Okay, guys, it's clear.

It's just a restless feeling by my side.

Early dawn in Sunday morning.

It's just a wasted year so close behind.

Watch out, the world's behind you.

There's always someone around.

I'm not going to be overenthusiastic or full on.

I'm calm. I'm relaxed.

I speak intelligently.

I'm not about medicine.

who knows what he's doing.

Confidence.

I'm confident.

I'm oozing confidence.

Confidence coming out of every pore.

Mr. Confidence himself.

Cool.

Superfly cool.

I'm John Travolta.

A peewee hermit.

Tina Turner.

Stevie Nicks.

Pregnant.

It's retro.

They're all horrible.

I used to think love was the delusion that one woman tickles from the other.

But maybe that was the delusion.

Perhaps that famous iconoclast Lennon was right when he said love is all you

need.

Nor was that McCartney.

Hi Michael.

Should I board something?

No, you can come on.

Somebody bottle shove if you want. Yeah.

This is Michael.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Alice. You know, the one who wants to move in. Oh, right.

It's a cool place you guys have here.

Yeah. So, when can you move in?

Well, I have to be out next week or so.

I need to get that jumper back off you because we're going away tomorrow.

It's in my bedroom. Just pick it up with the rest of your stuff.

Let's part on good terms, hey?

Let's drink to it.

Let's drink to our futures.

And he's hoping that you and Savita will be very happy together.

I very much doubt.

Well, let's drink to your happiness.

Let's drink to both of us.

Okay.

As someone once said, as we go down life's highway, you go your way more

go mine.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Little beautiful things must come to an end.

So I guess we may as well call it a day.

What's the matter?

Hi.

Right, I see my way out of this wraparound.

I'll just do my job.

Hi, man.

Hi, Adrian, you made it. I missed it for the world. And a drink.

Thanks.

Hey, I've got some great news.

I've got some great news too.

I'm going to France. The Sorbonne want me to do my course on Australian cinema.

Wow, so you're off to Paris next year?

I'm going in two weeks.

But you just changed to cultural studies.

I worked it out with the university. I'm going to take a sabbatical, go to the

French gig, come back and then join cultural studies.

Oh, we're great.

What's your news?

Um... Oh, I just, uh... He saw

the world divided into pairs that were opposite.

Light, darkness, fineness, coarseness, warmth, cold, being and non -being, and

weight and light.

One half he called positive, the other half negative. Now, that may sound

simple, but which half was positive?

Lightness or weight?

Arminides said that lightness is a positive, weight negative. So was he

I'm not sure.

I've just been rereading The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Couldn't dare attize

it all in with Nietzsche's theory on eternal return.

I haven't read the book. I saw the movie.

Forget the stupid movie.

If every second of our life reoccurs an infinite number of times, that puts a

really heavy...

responsibility on everything that we do.

But if they don't return, they're totally without weight. They're

inconsequential.

Nietzsche calls the idea of the eternal return the heaviest of burdens.

When we think of the heaviest of burdens, we think of being pinned down

But in love poetry, there are often images of women longing to be weighed

by the weight of a man.

The heaviest of burdens, life's most intense.

fulfillment, like the heavier the burden, the more truthful and real our

become.

On the other hand, the absence of burden causes us to be more truthful and real.

So what do you choose?

White or light?

White, I guess.

Sorry.

See, the thing about relationships, monogamous relationships, is that

very complicated, you know? There's a lot of hassle, a lot of game playing.

It's really not for me.

There are advantages.

Like what?

You're not alone.

What are you so happy about?

What are you so happy about?

What are you so happy about?

I heard he was wanking over a picture of Madonna and he had a heart attack.

Really? He had a heart attack.

Wasn't he the lecturer who was a cross -dresser?

No, you're thinking of Mr. Jones from the literature department who has an

ego called Maria.

Oh, did you guys hear that he's going out with one of his students? No way.

Oh, yeah, I know her. Julie's the name. She's really nice. She's in my car.

So does that mean that Julie's going out with Jones and with Maria? She goes out

with Maria. Jones is asexual, but Maria's a full -on lesbian.

So would that make her gay or straight?

And she's het. So do they make love with lesbians or do they have intercourse?

Do they have intercourse?

But Jones can only do it in a dress as Maria.

Alice.

Great party.

Have you seen Mia? Where going now?

Yeah, she's in there. I think she'd like to see you.

Hi, stranger.

How's it going?

Okay.

So it's like that, huh?

Yeah.

I'm gonna top it all off my girlfriend dumped me.

That's really funny, because I heard that you dumped her.

No, she did it to me, but I deserved it.

Have you tried talking to her?

I wasn't sensitive.

I don't know if she'd speak to me again.

Well, I'd give it a try.

You know, if you apologised, grovelled, sent her flowers, you know, that sort of

thing.

I think she's seeing someone else.

Well, I'd give it a try anyway. You never know, maybe they're just friends.

So you think this apologising thing might be worth a go?

I think the crowd link's very important.

What about Savita?

She's gone home.

It's really weird.

I've had the strangest day and I just feel really light -headed.

I feel like something's going to change.

What?

I've been thinking exactly the same thing.

Are you sure you want to give this to me?

Yes.

I mean, are you really sure you want to give it to me? For the third millionth

time, yes.

visit. No, come on.

Right.

Let's share this.

I can't remember. With the two... I can't

remember. They're doing this thing.

Thelma and Louise.

No.

Next.

That's pathetic.

Okay.

Gilda. Because of Rita Howard's hair.

Oh, yeah.

Shira. I'm decent.

She's my girlfriend.

And Pulp Fiction because that was the first film that Danny and I saw

And Danny fainted during the injection scene.

And I had to take her home and I had my way with her.

And Naked Killer because of the way Sister Cindy blues.

Smoke off the gun.

Okay. Ira, your turn. Three favourite films and the reason why.

Okay.

Alphaville, for its dystopian vision.

A Razorhead, but I can't think why.

And Raging Bull, because it's about a man who loses everything, but regains it

spiritually.

Okay,

it's my turn.

Mine changes every day.

Calamity Jane for Doris Day.

Meet Me in St. Louis for The Family I Never Had.

And Purple Rose of Cairo

because it warns against not following your dreams.

I thought I'd just have a look at the room for rent. Yeah, sorry.

Come on! Come on!

We're playing a game.

Sit down.

We're playing a game.

Yeah, you have to tell us your three favourite films and the reasons why.

Three favourite films and reasons why.

Um... Um... Purple Rose of Cairo.

Because it's about following your dreams.

Meet me in St.

Louis.

That's about... Well, I always wish I had a family like that.

Calamity Jane.

Doris Day. What can I say?

I have to accept this fact.

Human beings fall into two very distinct groups.

Those that need love, that crave it, that thrive on its every folly, that

exist without it.

And the few like me, who exist outside of it, beyond it, who remain alone, like

a rock.

I am an island.

Fuck it.

I know it needs a lot of work.

I think it's perfect.

I wouldn't touch a word.

are you just saying that no i really think it's great i'm envious

When the little blue bell at the bottom of the bell starts

to ring, ding dong, ding dong.

When the little blue clerk in the middle of his work starts to

tune to the mood of the boat,

it is made sure that...

We'll be right back.

We'll see you next time.

I can do it.

jump to this

I never want to tell you.