Original subtitles

Well, what do you reckon?

This ain't on the river, Frank.

It's in it.

Max, the water is an asset.

People pay stupid prices for it. I should know. I'm one of them.

Look what I paid for my place.

You're up top, though, aren't you? You're not going to come home and find a

telly bobbing about.

There you are. Now, look at that.

Waterside boutique over there.

Wine bar, restaurant over here.

And that view, Max.

Worth a thousand pounds a week. Where would you get a view like that?

Tower Bridge.

Tower Bridge is not up for grabs, is it? This one is.

A nugget, Max.

All I've got to do is grab it.

Carver's Wharf.

How's that sound?

Not a bad address, that.

Carver's Wharf.

What are you going to do about the rats?

Eh?

Well, a place like this, smack on the river, bound to have rats.

Simple. I'll set you on that.

It's the same equation wherever you look. Traditional grazing routes cut

Bush and forest cleared for cash crops to keep financing the so -called

progress. Lunacy. I think we'd better call it industrialization, don't you?

Lunacy could be a little emotive, especially on a marketing platform.

Well, call it what you like. It won't make any difference to the effect it's

on these villages.

State control and privatization of common resources.

Imposed settlement.

Thirty years of rampant greed and corruption.

Sounds like Chelsea.

So, you're going for this, are you?

Yep. The big one, Max Carver's Wharf. Where'd you get wind of it, anyway?

A bloke I knew at school.

Used to be a sea scout.

Brought his birds back here when they closed it down.

Reckon that a touch of moonlight on the water got the girls right at it.

Mind you, I wouldn't fancy it with the rats eyeing me bum.

They'd probably teach you that in the tea shop.

So, it's going to be a damp knocking shop turned into a marina, is it? I

know.

Progress, Maxie, that's what it is.

OK. I hope you have a source for these figures. I don't want to just pull them

out of a hat. Of course I do.

Tessa, can I have a moment? Sorry to interrupt, but it is important.

I'll get back to you with the source, I think. OK.

What is it, Bob?

Can you clear your desk for a few days?

We've been given two tickets to Africa.

Sounds like a lot of dough for a scout hut and a couple of moorings.

You haven't got that much dough, have you?

Aren't you still shooting for that safari park?

We haven't exchanged yet, have we?

No, this is the one, Mac.

I've got to make this one work somehow.

Get me knees dirty in front of all the bank managers in town.

First, I've got to make sure we've got a deal.

So you don't even know if they want to sell it?

They'll sell it for the right money.

Been trying to lease it for years.

Michael Kane will want to live there one day. You mark my words.

Carver's Wharf, how's that grab you?

It's me.

How many lovers you got called Carver?

Frank, can I call you back?

I've just had some news.

Yes, I know. I've just given it to you. Carver's Wharf.

It's going to be the jewel in the crown. Shops, cafes, everything. Right by the

river. Good name, eh?

Frank, I'll call you back, OK? Where are you?

Honolulu. It's in the book.

She was over the moon then.

With Bob Pierce in the room, what do you expect me to do? Start clawing at my

neckline and panting the minute I hear your voice? Roll on the desk? I never

said that. Did I say that? You didn't even say who you were. All I get is

Carver's warts. How does that grab you?

Warts. Not warts.

Warts. That's weird.

Warts. All right, I'm sorry.

Next time I'm going to give my name, rank and number, see if that rings a

I bet you can remember it, too. I can. It's tattooed on the inside of my eyes.

It's a good name, though, isn't it?

I'd like to see the place.

What place?

My wharf. On the river, where they keep wharfs.

I'm going to build it, hence the name.

Yes, I see. Yes, of course.

Carver's Wharf. Yes, that's good.

When did you buy a wharf?

Well, I haven't exactly bought it yet. There's a bit of chicanery to go through

before we start sinking powers, but I'm going to do it.

I'll tell you what.

If you've got time tomorrow, I'll take you down there.

Ah.

Well, what's up?

Well, that was my news today. I'm going to Africa tomorrow, thanks.

Maybe for a week.

Oh.

What's this, Bob? With the phone?

Myself and Bob Pierce.

Had a phone call from the Foreign Office today, from Langemena.

That's the capital of Chad.

We've got a project out there.

We want a bit of answer.

Nan Jemena?

Sounds more like a trapeze artist than a country.

Well, my waltz will have to wait, won't it?

With a bit of luck, the deal will be going through by the time you come back.

I can carry over the freehold.

I hope that's not some sort of bail proposal.

No, it is not.

I know the rules.

There we are.

We could have a fun farewell, though, couldn't we?

One night between me and the cat.

Oh, I think so.

Better get some more of this done with, then, I don't know.

What about college eight?

Be a bit more subtle about it.

Where did the other seven come from?

Here it is. Eight.

E -Y -O -T.

It can be spelt A -I -T, but I think this looks nicer.

At end, small isle, F, inner river, F, egath, etc., I -U -G, island, plus

dimsuff.

I could put all that, couldn't I? Be really subtle.

Carver's F, inner river, egath, etc.

I think it's a nice word.

Yeah, well, it's nicer than water, I'll give you that.

You look after yourself out there, won't you?

Watch out for all them snakes.

And scorpions.

I'm going to miss you.

We'd better be careful, you know.

This is supposed to be a grown -up relationship.

It is a grown -up relationship.

No entanglements, no jealousies.

No misunderstandings.

I like it.

Yeah, I like it now and again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

I have to pack, Frank, and get a good night's sleep.

Well, you will.

You can sleep on the plane.

Hi, Bob.

Frank.

I looked this place up in the map this morning. It's the middle of nowhere.

Well, not to the people who live there, isn't it? I can tell you that.

Well,

how are you going to get there? When do you get there? Our project manager's

meeting us. He's making all the arrangements.

I hope you've got plenty of sugar lumps. Got to keep the camels happy.

He's been there for a while, Frank. So have I in the past. I expect we'll

manage. Yeah, I expect you will.

Probably got cars and everything by now.

Good, yes. Two copies.

Every time I make

this flight, I wish I was still there.

It's a bit like going home.

You did 15 years in Africa, didn't you?

The Sudan, agriculture, forestry, irrigation.

Jack of all trades, those days.

Best years of my life, I suppose.

Why did you leave?

Oh, family complications, one thing or another.

Things I'd avoided while I was there.

Time came, I couldn't avoid them any longer.

Families are complicated things.

What happened?

My father died.

We hadn't seen eye to eye for quite a long time.

It's one of the reasons I was in Africa.

So I came back for the funeral.

He'd left a pile of debt, so the house had to go.

Well, I saw the kind of life my mother would be left with, so I stayed.

Got myself a desk.

Which I'm glad to leave behind, just for now.

You made a difficult choice.

Not one I envy.

Oh, I don't know.

It didn't seem like a choice at the time.

We like to think that we're free, but it's not often the case.

You seem to have managed quite well, though.

Do I?

He's quite a character, your Frank Carver, isn't he? How long have you been

together?

Together isn't exactly the word.

Really?

What are you looking at?

You.

Out till three in the morning, then up bright and early.

But you took it to the airport, did you?

Yeah, for the good it did me.

How do you know it's three o 'clock in the morning?

I came in just before you.

Oh, really?

And where were you till three o 'clock in the morning?

Where were you? I didn't see a note anywhere.

That is beside the point.

I'm your father.

I'm supposed to know where you are.

Why, what do you think I'm doing?

Earning a bit of extra pocket money around Shepherd's Market?

I bloody well hope not.

Who told you about Shepherd's Market? You stay out of Shepherd's Market after

dark. Oh, Father, I'm 19 years old.

I do know about the birds and the bees.

Oh, really? And what do you think you know? What do you want me to do, draw

a picture?

Trouble is... how you were born yesterday, as far as I can remember.

Where did it all go?

At least you stopped wearing the flares.

You're missing her already, aren't you?

Don't be daft.

We're grown up.

She's got her life.

I have mine. No strings, no hang -ups.

We've got a very good arrangement.

So, how come you've stopped seeing all these others? I mean, what's happened to

all the Sharons and Tracys?

We haven't had a bimbo on the line for weeks.

What about Val?

Val is out of the country, that's all.

She is on her way to Honolulu on a piano cruise.

And anyway, what's with all the questions?

Right? You're the one that's supposed to be answering to me.

I'm not the one who's pining, am I?

I've got to go. I've got a seminar on stress, emotion and arousal at 11.

Oh, you do have some lessons, then. Not a lesson, it's a seminar.

We have seminars, we have lectures, we have tutorials.

Only a limited amount, don't ask me why.

Well, I never had anything called stress, emotion and arousal.

Whatever happened to metalwork?

That's why you're so confused.

Too much pragmatism.

Tell you what, if you're going to pine, do it properly.

Stick on your old Elton John record.

Go on, Hoppy, get your metal work.

You had a call from that blundering geezer about the war fleets.

Can you meet him in his office about half two?

Call me back or Marilyn and we'll confirm.

This ain't right.

You should have seen it.

He'd be better off buying a lump of acne mask.

Frank knows what he's doing.

Does he?

He's had his head on backwards ever since he ran into this, uh, what's -her

-name.

Anyway, what's so special?

What's wrong with all the crumpet he's got? It was crumpet. This is a grown -up

woman. That time you grew up, too.

Stop being so jealous of her. Jealous?

What?

What do you think I am?

You're jealous.

After 30 years of being Roger the Dodger and Dennis the Menace, he found a grown

-up woman.

Wouldn't do you any harm either.

What are you doing tonight, big boy?

Mr Carver is here, sir.

Thank you, Betty.

Show him in, will you?

Please come this way.

Thank you.

Mr Carver. Mr Blandon. Nice of you to see me.

Not at all. You've had a look at the property already, I believe.

Yeah, I have.

Had a look at some of your sitting tenants as well.

You've got rats. Oh, yes.

It is a bit forlorn, isn't it? Would you like to sit down? Thank you.

But the planning permission can doubtless be in -house, as you know.

I'm sure you appreciate the potential.

Oh, yeah. I think we've got something to talk about.

Where would you like to start?

Ah, well, this is something I'm not terribly good at, I'm afraid, so I took

liberty of asking our lawyer to own the company.

Well, they're hoping they'll be here by now. I hope you don't mind.

No, fine by me.

So you'd like to wait, huh? If you don't mind. I'm sure they won't be long.

It's a family firm, you see. I'm...

Not totally at home with the cut -and -thrust of business.

This is something of a finer cure for me.

Well, you've got a nice desk, then.

Beedemar, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

It's rather fine, isn't it?

Don't fancy selling it, I suppose.

Er... Why, I hadn't thought, really.

Oh,

there we are.

Miss Golding from Martian Barton, sir.

Thank you, Betty. Come in, Annabel.

Sorry I'm late. Some yob and a jag stole my parking place.

Never mind. Mr Carver's only just arrived.

Annabel Golding. Mr Carver.

Mr Carver. Hi.

Nice car.

Free yob, yeah.

Sorry about that.

Oh, I see.

Oh, dear.

No harm done.

Right, so have you two talked any business?

Eh?

Yeah, where were we, Barney?

Honestly, I could have curled up and rolled away when you walked through the

door. I mean, what a trick to play on a beautiful woman, then.

I must be slipping. I only saw the car.

Don't worry about it, Frank. I'd have done the same to you.

Yeah, I bet you would.

Mind you, I like that in a woman.

What's that?

Cajones?

Well, as long as you haven't got the rest to tackle.

I think it'd show in this skirt, don't you?

Yeah, it probably would.

So, how long have you been a lawyer, then?

Four years.

Three with a smaller firm after I graduated and loaned you people.

How long have you been a hustler, Frank?

Ever since I realised there were winners and losers.

And car parking spaces.

Another drink?

No, I must go.

Barney's not going to quibble if you get near the stunt we talked about, so...

Call me when you're ready.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Hey, if it goes all right, perhaps we'll celebrate, huh?

Yes, perhaps we will.

What sign are you?

Eh?

Sagittarius. Oh, interesting.

Hello.

I believe it's good to see you again. Good to see you too.

Philippe, this is Tess the Frigate, our new director. And this is our good Dr.

Brito. Hello, Watson. What about you? And I have heard all about you. From the

same source.

It's good they had the sense to pick a woman for the job.

They have a born advantage over men.

What's that?

Simple. They're clever.

So, Philippe, what's the plan?

For now, I take you to the hotel.

Tomorrow, I drive you to the devil.

All too beautiful.

It's all too beautiful.

It's all too beautiful.

It's all too beautiful.

Oi!

What's all this?

Oi? Oi is good morning, is it?

Good morning, Father.

What's all this? It isn't Leonard Cohen.

More faces.

Probably worse before he became a rolling stone.

Limey, what is it, pre -war?

It is a little slice of happiness.

Do you want some of this?

No, I'll make coffee.

That's just good for you.

You're not getting the hot flushes as well, are you?

Do what?

Male menopause.

You've got the nostalgia and the mood swings.

You'd better watch for the hot flushes. I can just be happy, you know.

Being happy in the morning does not signify a scene of dementia.

It's all too beautiful.

It's all too beautiful.

It's all too beautiful.

Where do they make these things? In a nuthouse?

No, somewhere in Wales, I think.

I went to Wales once. It was shut.

Well, come on then, Brian. What do you think? What's the picture?

What do you reckon?

It's a big project.

But you could take it up to stage one if you put what you've got in bricks and

mortar up at security.

Sell off the paper stuff.

You'll take a loss on some of that if you do it now.

You'll have to squeeze the company account too.

Blimey. What if I swapped the diesel? Would that help?

I doubt it.

Don't do that much mileage, do you?

No. I guess not.

What about the safari park?

Nah. I pulled out of that like Noah trying to feed the ark.

And I haven't got his connections.

No, this is the one for me, Brian.

Carver's Wharf. I can make my mark with this. Be part of the London skyline.

Five years' time, can travel what I put into it.

So, what do you think?

I'm your accountant, Frank.

Not a fortune teller.

Never mind all that.

Let's sort it out.

You give Wossie's name a bell.

About the paper stuff.

Use your apron, I suppose.

I'll see what colour the old bank goes when I put it to them.

Green would be good.

Eh?

Green.

You know, for girls.

Traffic lights.

You look happy to be getting sand in your teeth again, Bob.

Yes, indeed.

I am here, aren't you?

How long have you been out here, Philippe?

Since 85.

I came for six months.

But there's always more to do.

And for me, no reason to go back.

You have a family?

No, I don't.

No regrets?

No.

Three years ago, this was a settlement with a school. Now, it's almost

completely buried.

So you can see how fast the desert is moving.

Incredible.

Where are the people now?

Refugees. They were farmers.

There's nothing left to farm.

What are you doing?

I'm looking for one that hasn't got a hole in it. What's it look like I'm

Max.

I've got the deal.

I've got it.

Cost me an arm and a leg, but I've got it.

Come on, put that down. I'll buy you a drink.

You've got another deal.

It's all too beautiful.

It's all too beautiful.

Here. You heard from Africa yet?

No, not yet.

I don't reckon they're very big on phones in Chad.

Max.

I am talking about Carver's War. Do you understand what I'm saying?

You wanted it that bad, you had to get it. You lead a charmed life, mate. Get a

bit worked up. Max, we're talking with Perry and Wright.

Fabulous. What's that? I'll tell you in a minute.

and then bopping away to some golden oldie the next.

Are they all like this, or is it me? I haven't had much experience with

Mine is, he went on some nostalgic trip to Cornwall last year. He met with a

surfboard and a wetsuit, made him look like the Michelin man with an ironing

board. It's just their age.

They get this yearning for toys, don't they? I mean, maybe there weren't any in

the war, like oranges or something.

Yeah, maybe.

I think it was the 60s. I don't think the 60s did them any good, you know. I

mean, they had such a good time.

They don't want to grow up. She's not like that, though, the one he's got this

thing about.

She's 40, so she must have been there.

Mum's not like it either.

Why doesn't it happen to women?

They didn't have the role models, I guess.

Most of those old guys are still around. If you wanted to be Eric Clapton 30

years ago, you still want to be Eric Clapton. But who'd the women have?

Still are black.

My old man's still got his joke of serpent plummets wrapped in a little

bag in a trunk.

It's weird, isn't it? It will get like it.

No chance!

Traditionally, agriculture was based on subsistence farming, which lacked the

basic requirement for a capitalist system based on market economy and

A large proportion of traders derived great benefit from their involvement in

the agricultural market.

For the last hundred years, this drastic surge...

If the village has access to good water, they can raise the trees to provide a

shelter belt.

Come, I'll show you.

The seedlings come from an earlier project at Noir.

This village will in turn provide trees for another shelter bell.

There, you see?

And in three years, these will keep the desert back?

That's the objective.

What about the women?

Do they have a family?

Oh, yes. They share much of the wealth, too.

Would you like to see?

Yes, I would. Come.

We'll leave them in for a while.

Floor 23 is unacceptable.

Query client intended.

Annabel Golden.

Annabel. Frank Carver.

Your favourite yob.

What are you doing for lunch?

Oh, good.

How's your breaststroke?

Oh, this is wonderful, isn't it?

I don't know why I've never got into it before.

River life, I mean.

Because it was poisonous when I was a kid.

Now they're dragging salmon out of it.

They might be doing them a favour.

London morning bread, they say.

Yeah. Wrong end of Chelsea.

They used to call it Fulham.

What about you?

I can hear the home count is in there somewhere, can't I?

Weybridge.

And Sussex for my education.

Scotland for a fleeting marriage and London for my job.

And my fornication.

What sign are you then?

Virgo?

No, Gemini.

We're schizophrenic.

You haven't been in my wharf before, have you?

No, not quite yours yet either.

Give Barney a ring, I'll give my man a ring. All we've got to do is exchange

papers. Always get what you want, don't you, Frank?

That's the point of wanting it, isn't it?

True.

Any idea what you want next?

You're on.

I'm playing on my own ground here.

What? To show you the part of mine.

Oh, don't ask me, babe.

The last time I saw Frank, he gave me a diamond brooch and the elbow.

We're not walking out, as they say, from what I can gather.

He's forsaking all others for the sake of his executive lady, Tessa.

She's nice.

Well, from my experience with your dad, she'd have to be nice and understanding.

He's up to something, isn't he?

Oh, he's up to something. I know he is.

Well, if Tessa is in Africa and I'm in Honolulu,

I wonder where Frank is.

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

I'm going to write to them and tell them to angle the soap dish a bit. It did my

back right in.

Oh, it's great seeing you.

We must try and run into each other again. Yeah, I've missed you.

I mean, there's no reason why we shouldn't be friends, is there? Not at

And if ever you need a female shoulder to cry on, and if his new bird isn't

around, you can always use mine.

Now,

I wasn't putting your father down just now.

I'm very fond of him.

And I'm glad I don't have to be jealous anymore.

Not so easy for you.

No.

But we're getting along.

And he's bound to grow up sometime.

I'll be here.

The Delphi, please.

Here. Seems a shame not to finish it.

Motherly, thanks. I've got to get going.

You make sure the outer door's shut when you leave, and don't worry about any of

the mess. My cleaning lady will do it in the morning.

That's a bit of a wreck to come home to. I'll mop the floor, eh?

I'm not coming back tonight, so it doesn't matter.

Don't worry, she's used to me being a slut. She's a liberal.

I'll just dry my hair, then, and skedaddle.

Don't mind if I use your brush, do you? Yeah, sure.

You'll get your people to call Barney on Friday, yeah?

Friday, yeah.

You're great fun, Frank. Thanks for lunch.

My pleasure, Annabelle.

Once they have shelter from the sand, they make gardens to grow food for their

families and to sell.

Even the nomads are becoming gardeners.

Do the men organize this, or do the women do it themselves?

Oh, no, they do it themselves.

Of course, this is a patriarchal society, but things are changing slowly.

In remote areas like this, very slowly.

But now the women have their own committees, everything.

They do it very well.

How did the men take this?

Oh, I think the revolution is a long way off.

I could use this.

There's a whole army of women gardeners at home we could appeal to.

You think they would relate to this?

In their flower beds in Surrey?

Green fingers are green fingers.

What about the forestry? Do they work on that too?

Oh, yes.

A section of the trees have been put aside for the women to manage.

They use it for firewood and animal fodder.

So the women do all the work?

Why not?

You've done it again then, Alan.

Get them in soon.

It was a logger, Alan.

Oh, it won't be a minute.

Seen you in this boset for a while, Frank?

What's up?

Hello, Sam. How's Trix?

Oh, Ben.

What, you out on a pull or something?

No.

Not really.

I don't think pulling's my game anymore.

My little brother lost his popcorn, I don't believe it. I thought you was the

original stud, Frank. More crumpet than a bakery.

Leave it out, eh, Sam?

You haven't had the old vice sex with me, have you? They say they give you the

droop. I'll give you the droop in a minute.

Now, look.

If you want to talk to me, talk about something else. If you don't, then get

lost.

You always was a ruthless one, weren't you? Always get what you want, I

I wasn't really good at it.

Story of your life, eh?

What are you up to now?

Oh, I was going to talk to you about that, funny enough. I've got this geezer

offered me in on this round.

If I can get a wagon sorted out, a Volvo or something. Could be something a bit

nice. Could see works around Hampstead. What sort of round around Hampstead?

Window cleaning. What?

Big houses.

Makes a fortune.

Yeah, I guess he could.

How much?

A grand.

A 750.

A 750 ought to sort it out. I'll get an X or Y wedge for that.

Let's make it a grand.

Get yourself two buckets. You never know, you might get a rush on it.

Larger, isn't it?

Yeah, I'll have a tub of them.

Yes,

yes, I'm still here.

Oh, you are?

Oh, I see you have.

Yes, thank you.

I'm out and about, but you can leave a message.

If you're under 25 and you've got great tits, I'll get right back to you.

Hello, Frank, it's Tess.

Just to say I am over 25, and so are you.

Uh, everything's fine.

Uh, Bob's staying on.

I'll be back on Tuesday.

Oh, and change your bloody answer phone message.

So, Tess?

Sort of.

Answer phones aren't great conversationists.

He

says

it's better to talk to us. We can appreciate you.

You couldn't tell.

I wish I had more time here.

Or maybe it should take longer to get here.

You're here now.

And as Mushroom says, we can appreciate you.

Not a good idea, Philip.

Why not?

I'm the director of the organization you're working for, for one thing.

So, I can call you sir.

Good night, Philip.

Good night, sir.

Now, Bob's staying on.

I'll be back on Tuesday.

Oh, and change your bloody answering message.

Hello, Frank, it's Tess.

Just to say I am over 25, and so are you.

Uh, everything's fine?

Bob's staying on.

I'll be back on Tuesday.

Oh, and change your bloody answer to that message.

Hi, this is Frank Carver.

I'm not in at the moment, but if you'd like to leave your telephone number,

get right back to you.

So that's the idea, is it? Set up shop in garden centres, get the rose fanciers

forking out.

That's a try.

They were taking cuttings and dibbing away at seedlings, just like my mother.

I had my eye on a garden centre a few years back.

Got nipped in the bud.

So what about the new toy? Is it Carver's Wolf yet?

No, not yet.

Going through. Lawyer's on the job. I mean, working on it.

Is that it?

You couldn't stop talking about it before, I know.

Don't tell me you've gone off the idea. No, no, no, no, it's not that.

What is it, Frank?

You look complicated.

What's wrong? Nothing, really.

Well, no, not nothing.

I've got something on my mind, that's all.

Something to tell you.

Go ahead.

We had agreement, right?

Well, I mean, we've got an agreement.

Grown -up relationship, no jealousies, all that. Didn't we?

I mean, don't we?

We do.

Why?

The lawyer on this thing of mine found his lawyer. We had a bit of a romp

together.

What? Well, nothing in it. We just sort of went for it.

Wish I knew why now.

I didn't feel right, I can tell you.

What are you telling me, you're gay?

Eh? No.

She's a woman.

Come off it.

Oh, you mean you and she, the two of you,

romping?

Yeah. It was only a quickie.

I mean, what I'm saying is, look, it didn't feel right. Well, I find minutes

mean it.

But not after that.

You know what I reckon it was?

Let me try. Luft?

No.

I thought it was that, but it wasn't.

I reckon I was missing you.

Funny, isn't it?

I don't know yet.

Stop the car, please, Frank.

What for?

Oh, now, come on, Ted.

Don't let's have any of that. We're not having any of anything.

Stop the bloody car.

Don't be sarcastic. Don't be a bit of a nookie. I thought we were grown -ups.

Tessa, come back here.

What's your problem?

What is it?

I don't know what was the matter with me.

I mean, it was right there in front of me, like a brick wall. I just couldn't

get round it.

So you just put your foot down and drove straight at it.

Good thinking, Frank.

Well, it's never happened to me before.

Must be something the matter with me.

I mean, as soon as I got in the car, I was on about lawyers on the job.

Sounds like verbal diarrhoea to me.

You'd better stay where you are.

Well, it's not my fault anyway.

We had an agreement about all this.

She's supposed to understand.

Yeah, just like you would, aren't you?

Well, what am I going to do next? I can't leave it like this. She'll be

You reckon?

Yeah. You've still got her luggage.

Oh, this is silly.

I've got to go.

It's my ecumenical committee.

How did you find out about it?

Well, apart from no sex.

I heard him phoning her.

He thought I was out.

There's one tone of voice you don't mistake.

Oh, he tried to lie about it, but he's no good at that either.

Didn't have to be.

My eye played three wise monkeys like a mug.

Don't blame yourself.

Why not?

She's my husband.

They're going to be unfaithful. The wife's always the last person to find

about it.

And the first to complain.

You didn't have to kick him out, though.

That was a gut reaction, I suppose.

I didn't think about it.

And I counsel people all the time about divorce, to look before they leap.

Sounds like you jumped off the deep end yourself.

Yes, I know.

Not the same, though.

We had an agreement.

I obviously can't abide by it, that's all.

I'm sorry I dumped myself on you.

I'll call you later, huh?

If I'm not in, I've gone down.

Oh, Dan.

He's got my luggage.

Yes, I know.

I've got your luggage.

Do you want to come in?

I'll see if I can find it for you.

Quite a runner you did.

A bloke on the pavement thought I was Jack the Ripper.

Yes, I know. I'm sorry about that. I didn't expect to react like that myself.

Women's privilege, I guess.

I didn't expect to tell you quite like that.

At least you told me.

Thank you for being honest.

Look, I'm not asking for thanks, am I?

I would have kept my mouth shut if it had been anybody else.

It's just that I thought we had that sorted out.

It's a good theory.

Apparently it doesn't work that way. Well, for me, anyway.

Yeah, well, why not?

I mean, I was only at it because I was missing, yeah?

Trying to zap myself up a bit. Instead of taking it as a compliment, you're

going to throw yourself into traffic.

I mean, what's grown up about that, eh? Oh, you think it's a compliment?

You getting your leg over some bimbo with a briefcase. You're not the only

who gets offers, Frank.

You're the one whose teenage ego just can't turn them down.

Offers? What offers? Who's making you offers? Come on.

Oh, it's Uncle Bob in his bush hat, isn't it? A hunk in a safari suit. What

it matter?

It's not working, Frank, and that's it.

Would you please let me pass? I'd like to go home.

Right.

Go on, if that's what you want, go home. Thank you.

Still got some sand we want to get rid of, have we?

Who was it?

Benny the Bedouin?

What do I have to do?

What do I have to do?

I!

I what?

Listen, I'm a pathetic, over -the -hill, 49 -and -a -half -year -old with a

Peter Pan complex.

But I'm not going to get better on my own, am I?

It can leave you crying.

Love hurts.

It can turn you upside down. Oh, how love hurts.

So if it's just a game that you're playing, you better

know that love hurts.

There's no doubt about it.

Love hurts.

But who can live without it? Oh, how love hurts.

So you better run and hide, but remember,

love hurts you just the same.

Love hurts you just... for today.

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