All language subtitles for LA Law s01e15 December Bribe

Previously on L .A. Law.

Ann, I'd like you to know something.

As far as I'm concerned, Mackenzie
Brackman, well, it's you.

You spied on me?

I started out just waiting.

I will not be made to feel like a slut
because I had dinner with my client. And

I will not tolerate your spying on me.
Does this writ say anywhere that I was

error?

No.

My job has rendered me a little short of
temper lately.

I'm getting out. The firms in town will
start a feeding frenzy over a superior

court judge.

Actually, Leland, I'm here to give you
first bite.

I have no reason to expect your
temperament as attorney to be any more

liking than your temperament as a judge.

Judge with one count, PC 93, receiving a
bribe by a judicial officer.

Curve appeal or what?

Oh, God, I think I'm in love.

I said the minute I saw it, this is the
Arnie Becker dream house. What are they

asking? A million three. But it doesn't
even go on the market until next

Wednesday. And my feeling is if you make
them an offer this week, you can steal

it for 950.

They put over a half million into
remodeling.

At 950, they're taking a major bath on
it.

God, look at that fireplace.

There's another one in the den, the
dining room, the kitchen, and the master

bedroom.

This is exactly the house I've been
looking for.

You sit on this baby six months. I could
get you a million 450 for it. Easy.

So tell me, uh, why is it, why is it
such a bargain now?

Divorce situation.

Very bitter.

You know what that's like.

I know I shouldn't be telling you all
the gory details, but after what you did

for me when the rat left, you're like
family.

So?

It's the old story.

Rocky marriage.

Instead of going to a shrink to work out
the real problems, they buy a house

instead.

You've seen it a million times.

It starts with fighting over the color
of the tile.

Then he accuses her of having her taste
in her behind, and she retaliates by

having an affair with the general
contractor.

And the tile man.

And the stone man.

That's why there's so many fireplaces.

So the upshot is... He absolutely hates
the house. She totally loves it.

Well, she put so much of herself into
it.

Tell me about it.

And he's insisting they sell and split
the proceeds.

Who are the lawyers?

Greg Lyman for him and Matt Pates for
her.

If you want my advice, you beg, borrow,
or steal to get this house.

Still, I'd sell my soul to get this
house.

I didn't found Mackenzie Brackman so
that it'd become the branch office of a

York law conglomerate. You realize the
upfront payment to the more senior

lawyers would be in the nature of $300
,000 to $400 ,000.

And somewhat less for the rest.

I believe I can speak for my partners.

You've created something rather special
and unique at Mackenzie Brackman, which

none of us have any desire to change.

Are you sure?

You know, the view of the mountain looks
different from the bottom than it does

from the top.

Leland, I know the firm is your life,
but I... doubt if you're going to want

go on working forever.

Think of the younger members.

In a year, we can triple your billings.

I'm sorry, Raymond. Your offer is very
flattering, but we're just not

interested.

Ask your partners.

I don't have to.

Are you afraid to?

Do you want me to make you breakfast?

I'm late.

I'm asleep.

Mickey, I hate this. By the time I get
home, you're asleep. By the time I get

up, you're gone.

This is no way to live.

Well, you have to look at the bright
side, Gracie.

At least we don't fight.

I mean it.

Yeah, well, you get no argument from me.

Well, what are we going to do?

Since Mackenzie Brackman doesn't have a
night shift...

I guess that's up to you.

Should I give them an ultimatum?

Don't paint yourself into a corner. This
can't last forever.

Sleep on it.

You want to sleep on it with me?

I'd love to.

But I can't.

I will wait up for you tonight, though.
I promise.

Okay.

Bye, Mickey.

Yes.

Thank you. Leland McKenzie.

Very impressive.

Morsehood's really pulling out all the
stops, isn't he? Stan, it's nice to see

you looking so relaxed.

And what is that supposed to mean?

Just that this little sting operation
wasn't your grandest hour.

hundreds of thousands of dollars of
taxpayers' money, and all you bag is one

muni court judge for fixing tickets, and
Morris Hood, who most certainly will

have these charges dismissed on the
grounds of entrapment. Ah, I was waiting

that magic word to be uttered.

Entrapment, when the crime was not
contemplated by the defendant, but was

instigated by police officers, and the
defendant was, by persuasion or fraud,

lured into its commission. Where a
defendant has a previously existing

intent... The fact that when solicited
by a decoy he commits a crime does not

show entrapment.

Morris Hood was an honest jurist with no
propensity for bribery until your agent

lured him into it.

Oh, really?

The life and times of your squeaky clean
jurist.

If you could prove any of these prior
allegations, you'd have brought him to

trial. Evidentiary problems.

And this one is every bit as tainted. He
took the money, didn't he? Fifty

thousand bucks worth.

You came after him three times before he
took it, raising the ante each time. Or

are you going to deny that, too?

No. Then you violated his rights yet
again. You turned his arrest into a

spectacle. Well, what are we supposed to
do? Nominate him for sainthood or maybe

chief justice? Is that what you want?

No, I don't.

But I do think he's suffered enough.

Let him retire from the bench with his
pension intact.

You want a dismissal. And you want him
off the bench.

You want to avoid the public
embarrassment of losing your showboat

court.

This serves both our ends, Stan.

And truthfully, I don't see any good
purpose to be met by sending a sad,

man like Morris Hood to prison.

People versus Dolores Kirby.

Mother -in -law allegedly harassed the
ex -wife.

Some spillage from one of Arnold's
divorce cases.

And where do we stand on the Cromwell
suit?

We've already gotten two out of the
three causes of action dismissed.

Discovery and trial on the remaining
cause pending.

Cromwell called me himself to express
his pleasure.

That's good work, Anne.

Thank you.

Stuart, this Chapman case, does it have
the possibility of bouncing into

litigation? Well, I haven't interviewed
them yet. I'm flying up to San Francisco

on Thursday.

Well, if there's nothing else... I had
breakfast this morning with Raymond

Lloyd, his senior partner in the firm of
Marshall Taft, which Mr. Lloyd informs

me now has over 400 lawyers with offices
in New York, Miami, Chicago, San

Francisco. They're seeking to establish
a beachhead here in L .A. and wondered

if we'd be interested in becoming that
beachhead. I turned him down.

Why? Well, it was conditional on merging
with them.

I'd think they'd have their pick of
every firm in L .A.

It was a real coup that they won us.

Did Mr. Lloyd perchance mention any
figures?

Purely speculatively, he threw out
something in the nature of $300 ,000 to

,000 per partner.

And you didn't think that was worth
putting before the partnership?

I felt certain I spoke for us all.

No offense, Leland, but if somebody
wants to hand me close to a half a

bucks, I don't want anyone speaking for
me but me. I'd have to agree with

Arnold.

I took it as an article of faith that
the firm of Mackenzie Brackman would

cut into being franchised.

I see I was wrong.

Well, I think that what we're objecting
to is having our opinions preempted,

Leland.

In that case, Douglas, why don't you and
Stuart contact Mr. Lloyd, get the full

proposal, and present it to the
partnership at its earliest convenience.

How do you know I've got a ton of phone
calls? Never mind that. Get my realtor

on the phone, quick.

I guess you know if this tribe splits
up, it's you and me on the cold.

I know.

A trial experience can make it a little
warmer.

I know that, too.

Well, why don't you take this telephone
harassment case?

When's the trial?

Two days.

Two days.

It's me on the court.

Basically, your client's word against
the ex -daughter -in -law. You can learn

to fire within an hour.

No, Victor, I don't know.

I mean, it's just that the thought of
trying the case by myself is kind of

scary. Well, the first time always is,
but two days from now, you will be much

more confident, not to mention more
marketable.

You're right.

Okay, I'll take it. Good.

I'll have the client come in the first
thing in the morning.

Don't you worry about a thing. You're
going to be great.

What do you think about this Marshall
Taft proposal?

Never happened.

Well, just in case you're wrong, Mike, I
want you to know that if you ever

decide to open up your own store,
there's no one else that I'd rather hang

shingle with.

Thank you, Victor.

But I am positive that it won't come to
that.

We'll be in the same staff meeting or
what?

What you heard was anger at Leland's
peremptory attitude toward the other

partners.

What I heard was the distinctive sound
of money talking.

I guarantee you, Victor, when push comes
to shove, Mackenzie Brackman will not

sell out.

I hope you're right, man.

But I think you're wrong.

Forgive me.

I'm trying not to become too emotional,
but when I come to think of it, I mean,

how this woman could actually have me
arrested and brought to trial just

I'm concerned about my grandson's well
-being. Her statement to the police

alleged that you made repeated calls at
all hours of the night, that you used

profane language.

How do I explain this?

Miss Perkins, do you by any chance have
any children?

This is my son.

Ah. Well, then.

Maybe you will understand what it's like
when someone tries to harm him. How you

turn into a lioness protecting her cub.

That's the way I felt about my son and
now his son.

So what happens is you call to complain
about how she's raising him.

Oh, no.

Actually, I just call to see how my
grandson is.

But when that nine -year -old boy tells
me that he's home all alone with nothing

to eat while his mother is off running
around with some man...

All right, I'm not denying that perhaps
my language could be a little more

ladylike, but I wonder what you would
say to a woman like that. Under the

circumstances, Mrs. Kirby, I am sure the
city attorney would be willing to talk

about a plea bargain.

Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be difficult, but I'm
not guilty of anything.

She's the criminal, the way she neglects
that child.

The only reason she brought this
complaint was as a wedge against my son

custody suit.

If I were to cave into her now, I mean,
who knows what she would do?

My God, you look like a juror bringing
in the guilty verdict.

Actually, the meeting went well, Morris.

The DA's office has agreed to dismiss
the charges if you'll resign from the

bench. You couldn't tell me that
yesterday?

I didn't want to get your hopes up till
I'd also met with Nick Pierce at the

state bar.

It's just come from a breakfast meeting.

He thinks the Ethics Commission will
reinstate with only a three -month

suspension. Forget about that. Tell me
about the meeting with the DA. They

folded their tents just like that?

Their case is dubious. Their case is
crap.

Or else they wouldn't have folded that
fast.

Am I right?

Morris, the fact that their case is
tainted doesn't vitiate the fact that

took a bribe.

You've got to resign.

Innocent until proven guilty, Leland.

Besides... If I beat the criminal
charges, the ethics committee can't

I wouldn't be so certain of that.

Allegations of judicial impropriety.

A federal wiretap.

Suggesting that you may have taken a
bribe on at least one other occasion.

If the DA loses a trial, they'll throw
this to the judicial committee and the

bar. The same standards of evidence
won't apply.

You'll be thrown out of office, Morris.

They'll never let you practice law
again.

I'm not some cheap crook. There's no
case here, and you know it.

I was coerced. A stronger man would have
resisted.

Morris, please, listen to me.

You've been lucky so far, but... Look,
neither of us is

young anymore.

It's time, Morris.

It's time to retire.

Please.

Sit in the sun, hit some golf balls.

God, that doesn't sound half bad.

No. Just because you're old and ready
for the boneyard doesn't mean I am.

Morris, if you insist on taking this to
trial, you'll have to get yourself

another lawyer.

I'll be happy to get a new lawyer,
Leland.

I was just doing you a favor, giving you
this case anyway, thinking you would

have been grateful to win a big one like
this.

But I guess you're past it, aren't you?

I always knew you were overrated.

Case continued until March 14, 1987.

Defendant to remain free, O .R.

Mr. Handelman, you'll let us know as
soon as you're ready with your next

Mr.

Handelman, I'm Abigail Perkins from
McKenzie, Rackham, Shane, and Cusack.

yeah. How's my pal Mike Cusack doing?

Very well.

I'm handling people versus Dolores Kirby
set for jury trial tomorrow.

I was wondering if we could discuss the
case.

This is the grandmother who keeps
calling her daughter -in -law? Yeah.

Hey, look, I hate these family beefs.

I've got no problem with a 50 -buck
fine, three -month summary probation.

Actually, I was looking for a dismissal.

Oh, I can't do that, all right? I have a
daughter -in -law screaming for my

scalp.

Maybe we can just continue the thing
with no finding or something.

My client had no statutory intent to
annoy or harass.

That's what she said.

If you ask me, I think it's the state
that's guilty of harassment in the

prosecution of this case.

What is it with your firm?

First Kuzak comes in chopping me at the
knees over some cheap hooker case.

Now you've got the hatchet. I've got no
hatchet, just an innocent client.

Either you agree to a dismissal or
there's no deal.

Guess I'll see you in court, Counselor.

According to the proposal, they say we
can stay intact.

They say we don't have to move.

They're offering us a huge chunk of
change.

People... I don't see the downside.

Marshall Taft has over 400 lawyers. It's
a factory.

Look, I want to buy a house.

I want some equity in my life, and this
is my chance.

Look, even speaking strictly from a
financial point of view, I think we're

short -sighted. Arnie, their average
partner income is less than ours is

now. You understand what that means?

It means we'll be making more money for
them than they will be for us.

Besides which, I don't understand how
many more cases we can take on than we

already have.

With a greatly expanded support system,
lots.

None of us is exactly starving here. We
already work 10, 12 hours a day.

Now, my concern, my bottom line, if you
will, is quality of life.

What happens when we want to tell a
client to go to hell?

We have to fly all the way back to New
York to explain it to some management

committee? Half the times you want to
tell someone to go to hell, you can't

explain it. It's a feeling.

So how are we going to talk feelings to
New York?

I don't know.

We're going to wind up representing a
lot of folks that we have no business

dealing with.

And that scares me.

Here, here. It seems to me that this is
first and foremost a business.

And it's bad business that they know to
an offer as potentially lucrative as

this one.

As we have been here for several hours,
and the hour is growing late, no one has

anything else to say, I suggest we vote.

Yes for merger, no against.

We have a 3 -3 deadlock.

In consideration of which, I'm changing
my no vote to yes.

Leland, don't. Michael, please.

If I may.

And I hope I don't embarrass anyone when
I tell you how much this firm means to

me.

It's been my life.

My family.

But the thing that strikes me most as I
listen to the pros and cons of this

merger proposal is the fact that I'm old
enough to be the father of every

partner in this firm.

And I suppose, like all fathers, I've
loved this firm somewhat to its

I've loved it like my child.

But the ultimate job...

of a parent is to know when to stop
parenting.

To know when it's time to... to let go.

And clearly, if there is to be a future
for this firm, it lies in heeding the

wishes of the younger partners.

Deadlock only exposes our divisiveness.

It leaves us vulnerable to raiding.

Whereas accepting this offer, by doing
that,

At least we'll be together.

Under the circumstances, I... I know of
no other solution.

And unless someone else does... I

suggest that we

let Douglas enter into substantive
negotiations with Marshal Tapp.

And as that concludes the...

It was you, wasn't it?

It was me what?

You were the third vote to sell out.

Yes. I don't understand how you can do
it, Ann.

Marshall Taft is a factory.

I mean, it's cold, it's impersonal.

They go by the numbers, Ann.

It's got an impressive power base.

It'll allow us to access the kind of
cases we're not currently equipped to

handle. Yeah?

At what price?

I'm talking about you.

You think Marshall Taft is going to look
kindly on Ann Kelty's humanist

instincts? You think they're going to
let your meter run while you represent

some principal that may or may not have
a profitable bottom line? Come on, Ann.

Marshall Taft. Marshall Taft thinks pro
bono is Latin for sucker bet.

Stuart, we're all so inbred here.

I am not afraid of change. I like the
idea of new contacts, travel, a bigger

pond. Travel.

You know what you're doing, don't you?

You're selling out the integrity of this
firm because you want to distance

yourself from me.

That's ridiculous.

Uh -uh. I don't think so.

Ann, I'm asking you, please, please
reconsider this merger business.

And I'm going to make it easy for you.

Our relationship is over. I'm not going
to bother you anymore.

Gracie, you're up.

More or less.

You know, I never even heard you come in
last night.

The good news is I threatened to quit
unless they let me out of night court.

The bad news is they took me seriously,
which means I'm still gainfully

employed.

You're back in day court?

Downtown felony trials starting Monday.

That's great. Yeah.

Oh, Gracie, I missed you.

Me too.

You didn't really think about quitting,
did you?

Not this minute.

But I sure can't picture myself doing
the same job my whole life.

You know, I actually used to think I
could.

Coffee, coffee, coffee.

I mean, be a lifer in a firm.

But I'm not a corporate man.

And if Leland ever decided to pull back
his involvement... What would you do?

That's just the thing. I don't know.

I just wanted it to stay the way it was.

Well, if you don't like it, you can
always quit.

I've been thinking about that.

Tell you what, Cusack.

You want to take six months off and
figure this out.

Don't worry about money.

I can take care of us.

Gracie.

Come here.

Let me dry you off.

All support personnel are tied to the
same mini -computer. It handles up to 30

freestanding VDTs.

We're only using half its capacity.

Plenty of room for expansion.

You'll need the extra room. Is your file
room online, too? I'm afraid we're in

the dark ages when it comes to our
filing system. It's all paper.

You ever think about putting up
dividers, walls around these desks? You

these support personnel, you cut down on
unnecessary gossip. A lot more work

done. You make the walls around the
secretary's desk smoke plexiglass.

They can't hang anything, so they stop
bringing in mementos.

It gives the firm a clean, hard -edged
business look.

You mean they can't see out?

No, but you can see in to make sure
they're working.

Sounds a little claustrophobic.

We have to work in offices, don't we?
Why shouldn't they work in cubicles? Why

not cut down on the clutter?

Personally, I like clutter.

I can't help it.

I have my opening statement on cards, my
questions, my list of cases on point,

cross -exam questions, closing
arguments.

They will never know what hit them.

So how come I'm scared to death?

Rock, this house in Malibu, it's got
glass everywhere.

It's got a black -bottom pool, 180
-degree ocean view. It's got a fireplace

big you could roll a tree into it.

Rocks. I love it.

Oh.

Rock?

Whatever it is, I'm going to make it
better.

Come here.

Oh, Ernie.

It's going to be awful.

What? If we become part of Marshal Taft.

Oh, no, it won't.

Is there any chance it won't go through?

I doubt it, but where I go, you go.

I swear, Rox, we're joined at the hip.

Nothing is going to separate us.

I've done some calling around.

They make you punch time clocks.

They charge you for personal calls.

You have to get supervisory approval for
overtime.

The secretaries have work quotas. Rox,
that's there.

We're going to stay put right here. It's
going to be business as usual.

Arnie. There are two efficiency experts
out there right now measuring us for

cubicles. And put this in your computer.
Marshal Taft imposes a dress code on

all its attorneys.

They ought to call it Marshal Law.

Ask Scott Gottlieb.

Who's Scott Gottlieb?

He's a trust expert with Cohen, Kagan,
and Fowler on the 12th floor.

He used to work for Marshal Taft in
Chicago.

Okay. Call.

See if he's free for lunch.

We're live from downtown Los Angeles
where Judge Morris Hood has just arrived

a hastily called news conference to
announce his resignation.

His decision to call it quits follows
his highly publicized arrest for

accepting a bribe. Let's hear what he
has to say. Hey, I've served with

diligence and integrity and now I've
earned the right to step aside.

Isn't it true that your resignation was
key to the DA's office dropping criminal

charges against you?

My client is leaving the bench with all
the privileges of his former position.

Further than that, we have no comment.
Mr. Glantzman, is it true that Judge

is joining your criminal law practice?

As a matter of fact, I have tendered an
offer to Judge Hood, and I look forward

to a long and rewarding association with
such a distinguished colleague.

Thank you, Paul.

The truth is, my personal experience of
the past few weeks has given me a

renewed sense of purpose.

After a short vacation with my wife...

I look forward to defending individuals
like myself who have been deprived of

their constitutional rights.

He just couldn't give you the
satisfaction, could he?

You look tired.

Why don't you go home?

Maybe I will.

Go hit some golf balls.

Self -pity doesn't become you, Leland.

Nor does self -delusion.

You're not getting any younger, Iris.

On three years, I'll be finished with
law school.

We can hang out a shingle, Hubbard and
McKenzie.

Oh, that has a nice ring to it.

McKenzie and Hubbard.

Your Honor, I represent the defendant,
Dolores Kirby, in this matter, who is

charged with one count PC, section 653M.
I have the papers, Counselor. Let's

proceed. Yes, sir.

The defense will show that the defendant
is the grandmother of the complainant's

son. We will further show that she made
the phone calls in question out of her

love for her grandson.

A counsel approach.

What are we doing here?

I tried to plea it out, Judge. I even
offered to continue it without a

My client is innocent, Your Honor, and I
cannot in good faith recommend that she

plead guilty to a crime.

Civilian complaint, Judge. I can't just
drop it. All right, let's go.

Uh, Ms. Perkins.

I'm sure the rest of your opening is
going to be terrific, but since I'll be

deciding this case on the evidence, can
we just get to it?

Yes, sir.

The people call Nancy Trichler.

And at some point, Miss Trichler, did
you call the police about the phone

I had to. I couldn't take it anymore.

The vile language, the threats.

I had to do something to finally stop
her. Thank you.

I have nothing further.

Counselor.

Ms.

Tritchler, isn't it true that you often
forgot to pick up your son after school?

Objection. Irrelevant.

Sustained.

It goes to state of mind, Your Honor.
I'm trying to establish that my client

called out of concern because she felt
that Ms. Tritchler was neglecting the

child. The witness is incompetent to
testify as to the defendant's state of

mind. But if it'll speed things up, the
people will stipulate that the defendant

thought the witness was a lousy mother
and that she often called to express

sentiment. The people will also
stipulate that the defendant's son felt

the same way. Is that where you're
going, Ms. Perkins, to show this woman

these calls to criticize this woman's
maternal performance?

Yes. Well, then I don't... No, I mean,
she called for more than that. She also

called to provide information.

You may proceed within that scope.

Miss Trichler, didn't my client
sometimes call to tell you things like

boy could be picked up or what time he
should be dropped off?

No. His father would do that. She would
only call to berate me. Like bloody

hell! I will not tolerate any more of
that, Mrs. Kirby.

Isn't it true that she would sometimes
call to ask you legitimate questions?

She would...

called to tell me that I was the worst
thing that ever happened to her son and

that I was probably the worst thing that
ever happened to my son.

I have nothing further.

People rest, Your Honor. You may step
down, Mrs. Tritchler.

Um... Uh, the defense calls Dolores
Kirby.

All right.

Mrs. Kirby.

Could you tell the court what occasioned
you to telephone the complainant

repeatedly over the last two months?

I was worried about my grandson.

What specifically bothered you, Mrs.
Kirby?

Well, all her men friends, for one
thing. She lives the life of a whore. I

that on the record. Sit down, Mrs.
Treachler. I don't think it's right that

nine -year -old boy should be brought up
in that environment.

I'd call to express my opinion, that's
all.

Now, Mrs. Kirby, the records indicate
that sometimes you would call as many as

six times a day.

Most of those calls were to my grandson.

I'd call, and he'd be out playing, so
I'd call back later.

Can I help it if that filthy little slut
keeps answering? I want that on the

record right next door. Somebody please
shut over your dead body. Mrs. Kirby!

Is it your testimony, then, that you
made these calls to your ex -daughter

-law, not with the intent to annoy or
harass, but simply out of concern for

welfare of your grandson?

Yes, it is.

Thank you.

I have nothing further.

No cross.

Mrs. Kirby, you're excused.

The defense rests, Your Honor.

Can we waive closing arguments?

Yes. Well, I'd like to say... Nothing
you could say, Miss Perkins, could

possibly sway me. Will the defendant
please rise?

Mrs. Kirby, I'm sure you're a very
giving grandparent.

But you have no right to call this woman
to tell her she's a bad mother.

You have no right to threaten her or to
use obscene language.

If you want to file a report with the
social services, that's one thing. But

those repeated calls constitute a
criminal violation.

Don't do it.

Now, what I'm going to do is continue
this matter without a finding for one

year. If you behave, I'll dismiss the
complaint at that time.

But... If you continue to make these
calls, I will find you guilty on the

presented to me today.

I'll slap you with a big fine, and I'll
make you spend a week in jail.

Now, I know you don't want that to
happen, so no more calls.

Now, Mr. Handelman, Miss Perkins,
approach the bench.

Let me offer you these observations,
Miss Perkins, in the hope that you learn

something from them.

I found your irresponsible rejection of
a city attorney's offer coupled with a

defense strategy that all but assured
conviction and compounded by your

inability to control your own client to
be shamefully unprofessional.

Please be so kind to tell your firm that
the next time they look to send

inexperienced attorneys out to cut their
teeth, that they stay away from my

courtroom.

That's all.

Abby?

I am sorry about McGrath.

If I'd known it was going to get
transferred to him, I never would have

in. He is a bear.

I was a mess, Victor.

I couldn't even think straight in there.
I remember my first trial. All I got

was an upset stomach, two wobbly knees,
and a guilty verdict.

Seriously, I had to run out after the
trial and throw up on my new pair of

shoes. I'm not meant to be a trial
lawyer.

I should just be the little office mole,
researching, site -checking, stuff like

that. It happens to everybody, Abby. The
only thing that really matters is the

result.

And Mrs. Kirby got a good one.

Don't try to make me feel better,
Victor.

You weren't there.

But I was.

Can you excuse us for a minute, Victor?

Sure.

For what it's worth...

I thought the judge was out of line.

Oh, but you weren't, telling him it was
me who wanted the trial.

It was the truth.

He was against me from the start, and
you contributed to that. Listen, it

happened. I lost my first case, too.

Oh, and you just love rubbing my nose in
it, don't you? Not really.

Then why did you come down here?

To ask you out on a date.

A date?

What's with you? What's with you?

You do everything you can to embarrass
me in court, and then you come marching

in here... Hey, I just tried my case.
You embarrassed yourself.

I don't know what the hell I was
thinking when I came in here.

Hiya, George. Stink it, Counselor.

Status, Cromwell.

Unchanged. Stewart is currently in San
Francisco on the Chapman case.

And in her first major league at bat.

Douglas, Victor, even the great ones
strike out.

I trust, Miss Perkins, you will dig in
at the plate next time at bat and hit

ball out of the park.

Thank you. Even Richard Nixon lost his
first case.

Finally, negotiations, as you all know,
are proceeding apace vis -a -vis merging

with Marshall Taft.

Uh, Douglas, if you'll permit me, after
a great deal of thought...

I have come to regret the position I
took on the merger.

All right, Annie.

The decision was made emotionally and in
haste.

And I don't think I had the firm's best
interest or even my own at heart.

So I'm formally changing my yes vote to
a no.

Leaving us where?

Back at 3 -3.

Anyone else care to recant?

Well, you've still got the chance?

Well, actually, I've been thinking about
it.

Douglas. I truthfully am quite put off
by their hands -on style of management.

Further, after several sessions of hard
negotiation, it's become clear that the

upfront dollars once talked about are
illusory.

What? They propose payment over a seven
-year span.

Wait, seven years?

Non -negotiable.

Oh, forget that.

Besides, I had lunch with a guy who used
to work for them in Chicago.

Says it was like boot camp.

Let's tell him to go to hell.

Okay.

Leland, that makes you the only one
left.

I'll bow to the will of the majority.

Rocks, we're not merging.

Deal's off. Call my realtor quick.

It's a dress code.

Thank you.

Personally, I think you made the right
decision.

I hope so.

Sometimes bigger really is better.

Well, for what it's worth, I chose
Mackenzie Brackman because of you and

they were small.

I've had no reason to regret my decision
on either count.

Thank you.

Ann, I think I told you the first time
we went to dinner together that

flirtation is just not my style.

The last few weeks working with you so
intimately, I've... Well, I've grown

intensely attracted to you.

I'm sorry, George.

You're as attracted to me as I am to
you. I can feel it.

Maybe at another time in my life.

So what you're saying is that you're a
tease. You just like to flirt.

No. Oh, yes, that you enjoy shooting up
these little sexual flares, late -night

meetings, the intimate little touches.

What was the real agenda, Ann? This
Markowitz character?

Pump me up so you can yank his leash?

If I gave you any mixed signals, I
apologize.

But I'm in love with this Markowitz
character.

And if you'll excuse me, I've got to
catch a plane.

Mr. Becker, your realtor tells me you
have a written offer to present on our

house.

Barney.

And actually, to be totally candid with
you, I don't want to buy your house.

Well, in that case, I've got better
things to do with my time. Mr. Alport.

Alport, please.

I know this seems very unorthodox.

The truth is, my heart went out to both
of you when I heard about your

situation. What did you hear?

Just that the house that you bought in
hopes of showing up at troubled marriage

had become a mirror of your shattered
dreams.

Who the hell is this jerk?

Listen, pal, our marriage is none of
your damn business.

Actually, it is my business. Literally,
I mean. I'm a divorce lawyer.

Well, we already have a couple of sharks
bleeding us dry. In fact, I happen to

admire and respect both of your
attorneys, and I'm not trying to steal

business. So what's in it for you?

Absolutely nothing more than the
satisfaction of seeing two people who

love each other very much work out their
problems.

Love? Well, the little woman sure had a
hell of a way of showing it.

It was nothing.

A cry for attention.

What the hell do you know about this?

Only people who love each other.

punish each other this much. Well,
thanks a lot, Dr. Freud.

Tell me, Gordon.

Look me right in the eye and tell me
that you never did it with another woman

while you were married.

So the house became a very good way to
avoid dealing with your real problems.

Since the day we bought it, we were at
each other's throats.

Of course, it happens all the time. It's
not your fault.

The decisions, the constant hassles. You
know, I get enough of that stuff at

work. I didn't need to come home to that
punishment.

Maybe you could have been a little bit
more understanding.

And maybe you could have been more
sensitive to her needs.

Oh, come on.

Don't.

Marriage is like a ship in the ocean.

Sometimes you just have to ride the
storm out.

Let's give it another try.

Please, come home.

I can't live there.

Well, I don't want to sell it.

Look, how about in the spirit of
compromise, you lease it?

I could live with that.

Me too, I guess.

Excuse me.

Buy a lady a drink?

What would the lady be drinking?

You know how to make a Venus butterfly?

No, I'm sorry. That one's not in my
repertoire.

That's okay.

It's in mine.

Are you here alone at the hotel?

Perhaps.

We could go to your room.

I have to call room service.

I know.