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1
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,167
NARRATOR: Coming up...
will Q get a grip?
2
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:11,177
MAN: The car parked
on the slope.
3
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,805
MAN: What does that mean?
What does that mean?
4
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,473
NARRATOR: What happens
when Murr goes toe-to-toe?
5
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,483
MURR: Let me trim these
for you real quick.
6
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,416
MAN: How is this
happening right now?
7
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:20,714
Uh...
8
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:22,254
NARRATOR: When
Sal's frozen in fear...
9
00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:23,983
I'm actually hyperventilating
right now.
10
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,490
NARRATOR: the guys
light a fire under him.
11
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,527
MAN: You're gonna
kill somebody!
12
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:29,494
NARRATOR: And tonight's
big loser is center stage
13
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,996
for the ultimate humiliation.
14
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:32,998
[ Laughter ]
15
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,597
Nothing weird about
shaking hands, right, Joe?
16
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:40,935
JOE: Well, today there is.
17
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:42,600
MAN: We're at a lot-less
closeout store, and today
18
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,507
we've got to go up to people and
find a way to shake their hand
19
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,068
for as long as possible.
20
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:49,240
Whoever shakes for the
shortest amount of time loses.
21
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,749
- All right, Joe.
- They get it?
22
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,682
Yeah, they got it. They
got it, buddy. They got it.
23
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,148
I've got a foolproof idea.
24
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,125
JOE: I've heard
this once before.
25
00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:01,524
You watch and take
notes, gentlemen.
26
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,028
MAN: I can't
take him anymore.
27
00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:04,529
I 100% agree.
28
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,192
JOE: Try your big plan on
this guy behind you.
29
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:10,532
MURR: Aah!
[Bleep]
30
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,037
Could you give me a
hand for a second?
31
00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:13,538
My muscle's cramping.
32
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,041
Can you just pull my
arm if you can?
33
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:17,542
Aah.
34
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:20,307
MAN: Rip his [bleep]
chicken wing off!
35
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,938
That's not a handshake.
36
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,483
MURR: Shake more
than pull. Yeah.
37
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:25,575
That's it.
38
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:30,248
Ahh. OK.
39
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:32,554
It's still the shake.
The shake is more what I need.
40
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,059
It's not the pull.
41
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,594
This guy is not
giving up either.
42
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:36,924
Murray just impressed me.
43
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:38,555
-Aah!
- OK. OK.
44
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,065
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
45
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,794
That loosened it up so much.
46
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,233
[ Ding]
47
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,702
All right, Murr.
15 ain't bad.
48
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,262
MAN: All right, Joe.
You got to beat 15 seconds.
49
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,366
I think you got to do
"less is more" with this.
50
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,139
You're saying this calls
for a "less is more" approach.
51
00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:53,474
Yeah, everybody lays
it on pretty thick.
52
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:54,707
I'm just gonna be a straight
shooter with these people.
53
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,112
You'll straight-shoot.
54
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,207
You're gonna go up to someone
and be like, "I need to shake
55
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,717
your hand for as
long as possible."
56
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,514
Not that straight.
57
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,421
JOE: My friend.
Put it there.
58
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:07,051
[ Laughter ]
59
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,185
Almost there, man.
60
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:11,861
No, no. You're good.
61
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:12,956
MAN: Come on, man.
62
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,091
This guy doesn't
have time for this.
63
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,191
JOE: This one's
getting tired.
64
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,462
Can I borrow that
one real quick?
65
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:17,730
Thanks, man.
I appreciate it.
66
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,772
ALL: Oh!
Seamless transition.
67
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,866
You're uh...oh, I had
something to tell you.
68
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:25,309
MAN: Look at her face.
She's, like, stunned.
69
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,973
JOE; Oh, no. You guys
got shopping to do.
70
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:30,209
Yeah, we're all right.
71
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:31,614
[ Laughter ]
72
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,118
This is the big
firework ending.
73
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:34,710
Oh!
74
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:35,755
There you go.
You see that?
75
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,517
Boom--you go.
You're hype, man.
76
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:38,819
[ Laughter ]
77
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:42,123
All right, wiseass.
All right, all right.
78
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:43,287
[Bleep]
79
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:44,557
Yeah, yeah.
80
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:45,723
It's hot.
81
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:46,788
[ Ding]
82
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,698
[ Laughter ]
83
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,862
JOE: All right, Sal.
You got to beat Murr's 15 seconds.
84
00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:53,269
- Vertruce, right?
- Nah.
85
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,638
JOE: Hmm, the old mistaken-
identity approach. OK.
86
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,269
- Let's see.
- From 53rd Street.
87
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,279
- Nah, nah.
- Are you sure?
88
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,439
JOE: But he got
the handshake.
89
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,642
I went to, um...technical
school with him.
90
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,150
[ Laughter ]
91
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,344
What technical school?
92
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,718
I always see him down,
you know, when I come back.
93
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,654
JOE: Oh, he's got him!
94
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,386
I was nervous whether I should
say that's Vertruce or not.
95
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,360
So I was like, "I'm just
gonna take the risk."
96
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,623
He has no idea
this is going on.
97
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,063
because it looks like
Vertruce with glasses.
98
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,394
JOE: Oh!
99
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,526
I was like, "You know what,
I'm not gonna let it go."
100
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,830
JOE: He's still got
the handshake!
101
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,633
- You live here now?
- I live in New York City.
102
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,106
JOE: He's still got him!
He still has his hand!
103
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:29,335
- In the Bronx?
- Yeah.
104
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:30,967
All right. Thanks.
It's great to see you.
105
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,375
Listen, man.
106
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:33,970
Yeah! All right.
107
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:38,245
JOE: Wow!
108
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:40,684
No, no, because I didn't know
if I should say hello or
109
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:41,721
not to you.
110
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:42,812
You know what I'm saying?
111
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,618
Amazing, man!
112
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:47,888
'Cause I was like,
you know, "I can't believe if
113
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,451
that was him or not."
114
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:51,224
JOE: Hey, every time
he tries to walk away,
115
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,493
he brings him back in
with a new conversation.
116
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,558
Yeah,
it gets really busy,
117
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,193
really busy,
really busy.
118
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:58,635
[ Laughter]
All right, listen.
119
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,468
I want you to enjoy your time
and everything, all right?
120
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,201
Thank you. Thank you.
121
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:03,708
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
122
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,210
Good luck.
Thank you.
123
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:06,540
[ Laughter ]
124
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:07,705
Thank you, brother.
125
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:08,873
Wow! That's gonna be
tough to beat.
126
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,247
Well done. Does your
hand hurt, bud?
127
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,376
[ Ding]
128
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,079
Wow! 1:03.
129
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,315
What's your
angle here, Q?
130
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,720
Does Q ever have an angle?
131
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:22,261
Q, how about that guy
right there in the hat?
132
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,889
Psst. The, uh...
133
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,159
JOE: Whoa, he backed up!
134
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,098
The fat man
flies at midnight.
135
00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:30,659
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
136
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:31,965
The fat man
flies at midnight.
137
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:33,096
What does that mean?
138
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:36,700
The man at midnight flies
with the --
139
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,075
with the eagle--
the thing.
140
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:40,704
What are you talking about?
141
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,113
The train goes
backwards through the tunnel.
142
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,377
What does that mean?
143
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,679
MURR: The object is to
get a handshake, not
144
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:47,777
confuse the guy.
145
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,481
A tortoise is
right twice a day.
146
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:50,614
Shake on it, partner.
147
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:51,679
Huh? What does that mean?
148
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:52,782
Yes.
149
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,020
I don't get it.
What does that mean?
150
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,790
Huh? What does that mean?
151
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,660
Huh? What does that mean?
152
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,393
I don't understand.
153
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,436
What the hell is going on?!
154
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,437
The woman --
155
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:09,999
the woman in red has the
car parked on the slope.
156
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,772
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
157
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,246
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
158
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:19,342
The hand shakes now,
the world is saved.
159
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:20,784
What does that mean?
160
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,446
I don't --
I don't get it.
161
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,854
What are you talking about?
162
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,655
What are you talking about?
163
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,752
What the hell just happened?
164
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,798
I know I didn't win,
but I did rock his world.
165
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,423
[ Laughter ]
166
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,866
[ Ding]
167
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,029
NARRATOR: Q's all shaken
up and ends up
168
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,698
on the loser board.
169
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,742
MAN: I still judge men
on their handshakes.
170
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,299
Oh, I hate getting
a dead-fish handshake,
171
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:47,073
but I love giving one--
that's just the best.
172
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,614
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
173
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,910
Huh? What is that?
174
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,314
[ Laughter ]
175
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:52,612
I grip the whole thing?
176
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,314
You force that
person to accept it!
177
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,324
From this point forward,
our fates shall be determined
178
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,760
by the...
179
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,354
ALL: Wheel of Doom!
180
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:09,061
We shall all step forth to
take a spin of the...
181
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,625
ALL: Wheel of Doom!
182
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,400
To not lose, you must do
whatever is decreed by the...
183
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,338
ALL: Wheel of Doom!
184
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:17,842
- The...
- Wheel of Doom!
185
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,374
You're up, Sal.
186
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:22,938
Let's do it, my man.
Here we go.
187
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,916
Wheel of Doom, baby.
Wheel of Doom.
188
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,850
It's a very insidious
wheel that we've created
189
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,080
for ourselves.
190
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:29,451
Yes, it is.
191
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:32,616
What I like is that there's
"Get $20 from each Joker" or
192
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:33,818
an "automatic win."
193
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,361
There's two parts
there that could work out
194
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,588
well for you.
195
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:37,994
I want an automatic win.
196
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,861
That's what I'm
going for right here.
197
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,457
Going for the automatic win.
198
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,866
TOGETH ER:
Spin that wheel!
199
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,734
Spin that wheel!
200
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,363
Spin that wheel!
201
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,034
SAL: Yes! Come around!
Come around!
202
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,135
Go!
203
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,611
Yeah!
204
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,671
[ Laughter ]
205
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,910
Yeah! "Kiss
a stranger's abs!"
206
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,451
[ Laughs ]
207
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:02,511
SAL: I feel like the
only way to do it is to just
208
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,920
be honest with somebody.
209
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,584
[ Laughter ]
210
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,823
Talk to someone human to
human, explain my predicament.
211
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:10,988
Go get 'em, tiger.
212
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,396
Can I ask you a question?
Could I kiss your abs?
213
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,936
[ Laughter ]
214
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,403
Can I ask you a question?
215
00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:21,906
Can I -- Can I --
216
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,000
It will only take two seconds.
217
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,408
Can I kiss your abs?
218
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:31,478
[ Laughter ]
219
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:33,314
Can I ask you a question?
220
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,752
Could I...
221
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,756
[ Laughter ]
222
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,486
This is gonna sound weird,
but it's totally normal.
223
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,927
Could l...kiss your abs?
224
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,523
Fair enough.
Thank you.
225
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,431
[ Laughter ]
226
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,060
This is off
the rails, bro.
227
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,435
Get ahold of yourself.
So this is what he's doing?
228
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:55,440
He's just spinning around,
asking people, "Can I kiss
229
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,032
your abs?"
230
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,304
Where's the strategy here?
Where's the plan?
231
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:01,176
My strategy is to be
straight up with somebody.
232
00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:02,646
The non-approach
is an approach.
233
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:03,740
Right.
234
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,149
How you doing?
How's everything?
235
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,551
Can I kiss your abs?
236
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,612
Can I kiss your abs?
237
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,658
Real quick.
One second.
238
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:17,561
Abs -- abdominals.
Can I kiss your abs?
239
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,463
For one second, can
I...kiss... your...abs?
240
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,367
Oh, my God!
241
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,302
He's actually gonna
let Sal kiss his abs.
242
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,738
I can't believe this.
243
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,138
I'm gonna lift it up.
244
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,608
[ Laughs ]
245
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,803
What the hell is going...
and now I'm gonna give you
246
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,244
one quick kiss, all right?
247
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,475
And then I'm gonna
commit suicide.
248
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,018
Oh, my God.
Am I doing this?
249
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,485
Do it or lose, Sal.
250
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,388
Oh!
251
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,621
[ Laughter ]
252
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,994
That ends the story
of you and l.
253
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,090
[ Ding]
254
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,727
All right, Q.
Here you go.
255
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:59,033
Spin the
Wheel of Doom.
256
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,697
Give it a
good spin, Q.
257
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,503
Whoo!
258
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,607
Come on! Come on!
259
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,811
Wait. How can you spin and
get something amazing?
260
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:14,945
I just spun and won.
Come on.
261
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,353
This is the stupidest
idea we've ever had!
262
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:18,652
Whoo!
263
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,626
- Whose turn is it now?
- If I can win $60, I'm in.
264
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,093
Go ahead, buddy.
265
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,130
Get in there.
266
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,528
Give it a spin.
267
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:33,402
[ Laughter ]
268
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,907
Make money, money!
Make money, money!
269
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:37,465
I'm down $40 now.
270
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,102
Terrible!
This is ridiculous!
271
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,545
Guys, this is ridiculous.
272
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,047
- Who's up?
- Who's next?
273
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,105
All right, I'm going.
274
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,173
Get in there.
275
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,548
Oh, my God.
I swear to God.
276
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:50,487
I swear to God!
If you get $20, I'm out!
277
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,047
Give it a
good spin.
278
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:01,066
[ Laughter ]
279
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,102
Wheel...
280
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,137
ALL: ...of Doom!
281
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,230
Look at how close I was.
282
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,400
"Get 3 toenail clippings
from strangers."
283
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,444
This is impossible.
284
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,843
It is, but if you believe
in yourself, all things
285
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:16,245
are possible.
286
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,716
How am I supposed to talk
somebody out of their shoes
287
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,083
and socks and then
clip their toenails?
288
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,588
I bet right now my money
back that he doesn't clip
289
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:24,918
anyone's nails.
290
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,458
I don't think he's
gonna do it either.
291
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,585
Why would I make that bet?
- Make it interesting for me.
292
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,060
Give me a chance to
win my money back.
293
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,495
- No.
- So let's flip it, then.
294
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,532
I'll bet that he doesn't get
it and you bet that he does.
295
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,658
Fine.
296
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,066
Get the guy in
the purple hoodie.
297
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:41,801
I got, uh, I got my final exam today.
298
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,105
I'm going to, like,
a cosmetology school.
299
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,667
SAL: This is his in.
300
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,042
He's going for
cosmetology school.
301
00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:48,410
Oh, you know what?
302
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,278
It's displaying a
certain amount of cunning.
303
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,545
- Yes.
- I got the cuticles down.
304
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,348
It's the clipping
that's really hard.
305
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,047
'cause if you don't shape
it the right way...
306
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,488
Oh, there it is.
Door's creeping open.
307
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:01,322
It's not bad.
308
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,918
I got you covered.
309
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,554
I got you covered, my friend.
310
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,121
I'm going to give you
something for free right now.
311
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,393
All right.
312
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,560
I am going to clip your toenails.
313
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,126
Yes.
314
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,933
It's about to happen.
He's about to clip his nails.
315
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,633
I'm gonna win
my money back!
316
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:16,140
Just one.
Let me see it.
317
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,335
This is the first time I find
myself cheering for Murray!
318
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,570
I'm cheering for Murray!
319
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,842
How is this
happening right now?
320
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:25,214
Uh...l can't
believe this!
321
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,616
Let me trim these
for you real quick.
322
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,917
OK. Here's one.
323
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:31,388
[Ding!]
324
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:32,651
OK, here's two.
325
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:33,919
[Ding!]
326
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:35,893
I can't believe it.
James S. Murray,
327
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:38,157
I love you for
the first day in my life.
328
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,425
[Ding!]
329
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:42,832
Give me my [bleep]
$20 back right now.
330
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:46,394
This is turning into a roller
coaster of a day, my friends.
331
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,339
And that's 3
toenail clippings.
332
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,933
There he is.
Victorious.
333
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:51,977
I can't believe he did it.
334
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,171
Oh, my God!
335
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,406
Oh!
336
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,742
Aah!
337
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:58,682
[Ding!]
338
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:01,686
NARRATOR: The Jokers
all spun past a loss.
339
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,756
I broke up with a girl once
because she wanted me to go to
340
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:08,191
this store to get her ice
cream at midnight and got mad
341
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,785
when I wouldn't do it.
342
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,295
You should have gone
out and gotten it.
343
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,763
Be a considerate boyfriend.
344
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,129
How's your
relationship status?
345
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,690
I'm currently single.
346
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,104
We're at Arirang Hibachi
Steakhouse, cooking hibachi.
347
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,766
We don't know how
to cook hibachi!
348
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:25,003
We've got to do our best
to cook the meal, despite what
349
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,409
the other guys are
telling us to do.
350
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,504
And if you refuse, you lose.
351
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,878
Sharpen your
Ginsus, fellas.
352
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,610
This is a Joker
vs. Joker challenge!
353
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:32,878
And it's double or nothing.
354
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,715
It all comes down to this.
355
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,220
BOTH: Mm.
356
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:45,324
You are...impossible to
take seriously in that outfit.
357
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,593
You look so stupid!
358
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,225
I'm actually
hyperventilating right now.
359
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,564
What are you so afraid of?
360
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,036
You just got to get
in there and cook.
361
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,802
I make cereal and
sandwiches exclusively.
362
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,433
And there he is.
363
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,704
There it is!
364
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,405
He can't even
push the cart.
365
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,879
How's everyone doing?
366
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,314
Good. Hi. Hi.
How are you?
367
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,578
We're gonna start with
every meal...
368
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:06,778
We start every meal...
369
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:07,820
with a traditional...
370
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:08,876
with a traditional...
371
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,253
JOE: ...Japanese hibachi song.
372
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,554
...Japanese hibachi song.
373
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,753
Go ahead, buddy.
Sing the song.
374
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,264
[ Imitating
Japanese singing]
375
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:30,769
[Singing continues]
376
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:33,107
JOE: "Bah-de-bah-boo-bah-bah"!
377
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:34,806
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Ladies and gentlemen...
378
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:37,145
I will now do
something amazing!
379
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:40,652
You will now
see something amazing.
380
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,780
Now do something
amazing, Sal!
381
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,293
382
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:53,355
Ladies and gentlemen...
butterfly.
383
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,798
[ Laughter ]
384
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:03,130
Sal, hey, your last name's
Vulcano, is that right?
385
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:06,667
Let's make the patented
Vulcano Volcano.
386
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:11,581
Who wants to see,
uh... a volcano?
387
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,812
Everybody?
388
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:15,820
Have you guys seen it?
You know it, right?
389
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:17,685
The Vulcano Volcano.
390
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,089
Prepare for
something amazing!
391
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:21,820
She's backing up.
She's getting out.
392
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:31,294
JOE: You're gonna kill somebody!
You're gonna kill somebody!
393
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,838
Get the water out.
394
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,070
Oh, my God!
395
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,339
MURR: You're gonna
lose them, Sal.
396
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:41,812
Get them to stay.
397
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,349
Please don't go. You're gonna
miss something very amazing.
398
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,248
They leave, you lose.
399
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,947
Please stay.
400
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:50,955
[ Buzzer ]
401
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:53,389
All right, O. This
one's yours to lose.
402
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:54,756
Hey, what's up?
403
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,818
You look like
a hibachi monster.
404
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,863
Banzai, huh?
405
00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,228
[ Laughter and applause]
406
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:02,859
All right, Q, you got to
get something from downstairs.
407
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:04,459
What are you talking about?
There's no stairs.
408
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,505
The steps are right
in front of you.
409
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,437
I got more
chicken downstairs.
410
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,373
Q, go get the chicken
downstairs.
411
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,536
- There's no more chicken.
- Go downstairs!
412
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,375
Go downstairs and
get the chicken.
413
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:17,416
Let me go get you a little
something from downstairs.
414
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,077
All right, Q.
Walk down.
415
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,644
His chef hat!
416
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,748
Q: Guys, I look like
an idiot down here.
417
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:27,190
Ow!
418
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:31,356
JOE: He burned himself!
419
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,796
I burned myself.
420
00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,264
JOE: Now, just keep
looking at different
421
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,267
pieces of meat, and under your
breath say, "Now, is this
422
00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:38,803
one cooked?"
423
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,566
Ask yourself, "Is
this one cooked?"
424
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,404
All right, all right,
all right.
425
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,410
Is this one cooked?
426
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,413
Hmm. Is this one cooked?
427
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,881
Is this one cooked?
428
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,144
- They're cooked enough.
- Cooked enough.
429
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,913
- Cooked enough.
Cooked enough.
430
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:55,385
We got to get you
guys out of here,
431
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,979
so we're just gonna
cook it enough.
432
00:15:57,056 --> 00:16:00,423
[ Laughter ]
433
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,484
[Ding!]
434
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,690
NARRATOR: Sal couldn't take
the heat, making him tonight's big loser.
435
00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:07,391
Sal, you should
have seen this
436
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,833
punishment coming, because
tonight you're playing
437
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:10,994
a psychic.
438
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,264
Ooh!
439
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,329
We have an entire theater
full of people waiting for you
440
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:15,874
to come in there and
read their minds.
441
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,239
But don't worry.
442
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,777
We're gonna be helping you by
giving you all the terrible
443
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,403
predictions in your ear.
444
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,004
And you can't get off
stage until you guess
445
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,241
something right.
446
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,944
I'm foreseeing a lot
of pain in your future.
447
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,851
[ Indistinct conversations]
448
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,892
SAL: I'm standing right behind
the curtain, and I hear
449
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,224
the murmur of tons of people
that want to know
450
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:37,387
about their lives.
451
00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:38,555
MURR: Don't worry, man.
452
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:41,099
We're gonna help you
through the whole thing.
453
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,067
I am so nervous.
454
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,535
What Sal doesn't know is
that the spirits are gonna be
455
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,004
silent today.
456
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:50,236
All he's gonna hear
is elevator music.
457
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:52,334
He'll be all
alone out there.
458
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:53,969
[ Applause ]
459
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:02,982
How's everyone doing?
So, let's get started.
460
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,181
We're sorry.
461
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,521
The spirits are not
available right now.
462
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,492
[ Elevator music plays]
463
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:15,194
Uh...
464
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,997
Sal, everybody
is looking at you.
465
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:18,502
Start talking.
466
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:26,408
He's got nothing to say.
467
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,504
SAL: It doesn't just jump right
out, but I am getting some
468
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:33,041
very, very strong
spiritual senses.
469
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,587
You had a goldfish?
470
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,020
No.
471
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,353
[ Clears throat]
472
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:42,019
I'm seeing someone here
has lost a personal item
473
00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:43,459
recently --
474
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:44,689
a piece of jewelry.
475
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:47,892
Has anyone lost a ring?
Has anyone lost a ring?
476
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,162
MURR: He's dying up there.
You're striking out.
477
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,498
You're gonna be up
there all night.
478
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:55,803
You have walked in on
your parents... making love
479
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:59,436
by candlelight.
480
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,878
Your parents are
still with you?
481
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:03,882
Your mom is Pat.
482
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:07,511
Your dad is, uh, Dana?
483
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,215
Your dad is Pat and
your mom is Dana?
484
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:12,154
Both your parents are Pat?
485
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,248
[ Laughter ]
486
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,317
Both your parents are Dana?
487
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:17,828
Does "Pat" or "Dana"
mean anything to you?
488
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,058
JOE: Why is he
being so specific?
489
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:21,429
MURR: I guess
it's an approach.
490
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,627
You want to be really specific
so you come across confident,
491
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,728
but then you just
totally swing and a miss.
492
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,365
It's a dumb approach.
493
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,671
You have a secret
handshake with your BFF.
494
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,074
No?
495
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:33,577
Are you sure?
496
00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:44,178
You lost a button on
your favorite sweater?
497
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:45,848
Everybody loses a button.
498
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,119
[ Laughter ]
499
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,354
You sneezed in church.
500
00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:51,089
Have you sneezed?
501
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:53,631
You haven't sneezed?
502
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:54,961
M U RR: This thing's
off the rails.
503
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,400
He's lost control.
504
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,903
JOE: Sal, try to
get a volunteer.
505
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,336
Maybe you'll do
better one-on-one.
506
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:01,839
Would anyone
like to come up?
507
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:04,933
Would anyone like to just
volunteer for a minute?
508
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,501
MURR: This is
not gonna work.
509
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,171
Of course it's
not gonna work.
510
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,340
I got one spirit
right now who's just --
511
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:11,678
he's a real dick,
he's just...
512
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:12,979
[ Laughter ]
513
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,316
Uh, how do I do this?
514
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:18,118
[ Laughter ]
515
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:22,627
Your favorite
color is...
516
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,629
red.
517
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,130
Pink.
518
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,999
You recently got
a parking ticket.
519
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:33,197
Oh, God.
Jesus Christ.
520
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,637
[ Laughter ]
521
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:43,148
You have... one child
out of wedlock.
522
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:44,648
[ Laughter ]
523
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,150
He got it right!
524
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,153
Knew it.
525
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,984
One thing right in
a half-hour.
526
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:54,185
[ Applause ]
527
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,389
This went exactly how
I imagined it would.
528
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:59,090
[ Laughter ]
529
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,393
JOE: Look at him.
530
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:03,663
That was the worst
psychic reading!
34155
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