Original subtitles

I think the cream has some sort of side effect. My dick is kind of clay

-like.

Well, sculpt it into something youthful, then.

You know, I once wrote a song for you.

It was the one about the sun.

I find it great.

You never knew.

We are here just to love everyone.

shine on the window pane as I

lie waiting on the wall and the hour

they go by now I'm there to see me cry maybe

I'm just sick of it all

The colors of the sky have gone away

Hope it's only for today

Thousands of fears

are everywhere Father, please

make it all disappear

And the hours, they go by.

No one there to see me cry.

Maybe I'm just sick of it all.

Thank you.

for her pleasure.

There's bears.

Now you're one.

Years of solace, like saints

with arrows.

Once again, I see you.

I watched it die with a humble sigh.

dies and then slumbers

Our dying love is crazy

and vain to live and pleads for help.

I hid it in a container that was marked penis enlargement cream because I

thought that the shame would be too great for any man to go near such a

container. But I was wrong.

Are you choking? I know some maneuvers.

No, I'm spitting. This sandwich is terrible.

I'm confused. You specifically asked me for a peanut and butter sandwich.

I didn't say peanut and butter and jelly. I said peanut butter.

That's nonsensical.

Peanuts are plants.

You can't churn them and make butter. They don't produce milk.

Speaking of milk, have you been suckling the teat of another woman?

Why are you accusing me of cheating on you?

You've been seen checking into a motel with another woman.

What am I supposed to think?

Before you reach a wrong conclusion, the girls at the hotel room were just hired

help.

I'm sorry.

I know that to entice the creature, I have to make sure that love vapors

from my love canal, but I'm just not getting wet.

Does your girlfriend know about the details of this experiment?

No.

I'm just saying that if you tell her the method that you're using to lure the

creature, she's not going to like it whether she admits it or not.

I'll just explain to her that the creature, in order to be enticed, needs

a strong whiff of a ready female orifice.

She's asked many questions about my activities here, believe me.

So you never told her anything?

Good morning. Good morning.

Have you ever felt the sadness of a slowly dying star?

Or ever held a lifeline that was cut and torn from far?

to sacrifice being close to real life in all you

knew of life I was I

was a lucid nightmare open up my blinded eye

have you ever gazed towards the sky and asked yourself in

fear or else

Question your own purpose of existing here.

I have.

I have.

Are you ready to give up the cream?

There's none left.

Well, then give me the fucking note for it. There are no notes for it, Colin.

My name's not Colin.

It's Colin.

Colin Ebzuary.

Got that?

Dick.

Stop. trying to figure out how I developed the formula. Even if you had

the notes in front of you, you would not be able to duplicate it. Why, is it

supernatural? What are you, some kind of magician or something?

You think you're so cool because you're some kind of renegade scientist.

You're not doing anything to help mankind.

You're just selfish.

It has been the 12 ,000 years, lonely lost and suffering soul,

shedding all its white tears, made for beyond death.

Christ, the pain you hear, from the truth below, the

one being.

the cry from the grave

you

disgusting. You were complaining about peanut butter sandwiches being

so I made peanut margarine.

Well, anyway, shouldn't we be eating on the blanket? This is, after all, a

picnic. Oh, where's the fishnet?

How did you know about the fishnet?

Duh, if we're going to have sex out here, surely you'd wear fishnet

and a garter belt.

But don't worry, I don't need that to get me in the mood.

Oh.

Well, then you go urinate out of your penis, and when you get back, we'll set

the mood all over again.

Well, I'd much rather be swimming here than in the river.

Didn't you hear what happened?

No, what?

Well, a girl was verbally assaulted by a shark.

More like a bullshit shark if you ask me.

So do you have a theory about the dick shark?

No, but I have a hypothesis.

It seems that the creature had a great survival strategy.

It divided into several smaller creatures.

All but one were killed.

The survivor escaped into the toilet and, if the girl by the river was

the truth, the creature has escaped into a larger water system and probably has

changed.

So it's evolved.

No, this is not evolution.

It is metamorphosis.

Don't let movies and television teach you scientific concepts.

Well, I want to get romantically evolved with you.

you

Yeah. Is the job done?

Is this Colin Egg Ferry?

Who the fuck did you think it was?

Don't take that tone with me. I had to kill Dick. He didn't drink enough of the

poison. You poisoned him?

You were just supposed to drug him.

Anyway, you have that specimen?

Yes, and it's bigger than I thought it would be.

Okay, let's meet at the rendezvous point.

This should make him nice and perky. That way, if he has any ability to

himself, these will distract him.

I heard that we only use about 10 % of our brain.

That's not true. We always use 100 % of our brain, even when we're asleep.

Hmm. See, this is what happens when the media tries to simplify scientific

concepts for the kind of people who read newspapers.

That is to say, people who have a third grade reading level and no real

education. In the early 1900s, when psychology was in its infancy, William

said something vague about mental potential, which was later discarded.

But a newspaper writer intentionally paraphrased that into the idiotic

statement, we only use 10 % of our brain.

And the media continues to perpetuate this.

Isn't it ironic that in this age of information, people are actually less

educated? It should be called the age of misinformation.

weeped out by the

Maybe we should have stayed friends.

But our paths are different.

I try to explain life, while you try to fuck with it. Was Vanna your spy?

Or your girlfriend?

Both. You are not a scientist.

You're a necromancer.

Am I correct in guessing that you want to destroy the creature?

No.

See, I had some hope in reverse engineering it, but I realized that

possible.

Thank you.

While it's all in your bones Don't act so good

I have to be naked?

It's important that you are the way that you were during the attack.

I'm a scientist.

Okay, so what do you want to know?

Are you sure you told no one about this?

No, I didn't want anybody to think I was crazy. Plus, my memory is a little

fuzzy. Oh, that might be due to a chemical in the dorsal fluid that was...

It might... The creature might be adapted to inhibit memory of rape.

Because it rates humans and humans tell.

It's similar to a chemical that the brain makes during sleep, which inhibits

memory of dreams. The only time that you remember them is either if they are

emotional or if you prime yourself with auto -suggestion before you fall asleep.

And speaking of remembering, turn over.

Did it do this?

No.

You answered an ad in a newspaper. Do you regularly read

newspapers? Yeah, duh. How else am I going to stay informed?

You know, most people who see that ad probably think it's a joke, but you

a number that asked to report any kind of attack by a secret.

What about us?

Do you feel violated from...

What happened?

Well, obviously I feel violated, but everything happens for a reason.

Yes, but not a special reason.

Excuse me?

One of the hemispheres of the human brain houses the narrator.

It's the part of us that wants to know the story of what happened. And if there

is no story, we make one up. Or the narrator does. It's unconscious.

It's not like we're lying on purpose.

Thank you

for

watching. We'll be

right back.

Thank you.

To be honest, I thought the ad in the newspaper was a joke.

But now that I was attacked, I see you really shouldn't read a book by its

cover.

And how the heck does a shark fly?

It's uncanny, but not unbelievable.

You see, sharks lack a swim bladder.

Most fish have one. It allows them to maintain their same depth through the

water. And scientists thought...

that because sharks don't have a swim bladder and they can't maintain their

depth, that if they don't keep swimming, they'll drown.

How could a fish drown in water?

The same way that you can suffocate if no air goes into your lungs.

Okay, so then explain how a shark can fly.

I mean, I know they have fins, so maybe instead of being aquadynamic, They're

aerodynamic, a little bit.

The shark is a hybrid, so it has genetic material that is alien.

Mm -hmm.

You described it as penis -y, and as you know, a penis has a urethra,

and the urethra leads into the bladder. And while the shark

may not have a twin bladder, it might have...

A dick bladder.

So how does that make it float?

Biology does not take only one route.

That is why there are many different versions of eyes on this planet.

species develop unique, separate ways to do the same thing.

This creature we're talking about was not meant to have a dick bladder, so it

may have adapted that organ for something more useful. It might be

helium.

Did you hear any dick farts?

Ew, no.

Oh, let's get to the science of things.

Again, this is only for science.

Right. So, speaking of science, why did you meet with me? I'm human.

Well, have dogs ever tried to hump your legs?

Of course.

In my youth, I thought that there was something about me that attracted

homosexual dogs.

For you see, the only dogs who tried to have intercourse with me were male.

That's how I knew I'd make a great scientist.

I didn't need someone to explain to me what happened. The conclusion that I'm

not attractive to homosexual dogs was the result of scientific method.

The lesson here, or the lesson here, is that there are multiple duties to every

gene. It would be rare to find a gene that just does one thing.

Okay, um, so what should I use then for protection?

Oh, I don't think that rubber would protect you from actual rape.

No, I mean, what if the creature comes back?

Actually, rubber might not be a bad idea.

You see, sharks sense life in a way. They detect our electrical signal.

And if you wore a full -size rubber... Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.

If you wore a full -size rubber, then it would not get any electrical

information out of you.

Did the shark do this?

No, it didn't use its fins. And why did the shark get any pleasure from that?

Oh, it might not have gotten any pleasure from it, but some women get

by being fondled.

And so the shark might have done this, not for its own pleasure, but for your

pleasure. Because if you get pleasure from this, guess what? You get

and that results... and more efficient insertion. What?

Most mutations are harmful, but every once in a while you get something good.

Oh, I got something good all right. That shark had a big dick.

Did you ever wonder about the shape of the penis?

The head is designed to produce

something.

To pull out The competitor sperm.

Okay, well, that's new to me.

Most people don't think about the origins of things.

For example, there's more than one type of sperm.

Really? The only sperm I know about is the kind that creates a runaway welfare

system.

That's one type. But then there's the blocker sperm that impedes the

sperm. No, don't come near the egg.

And then there's the killer sperm.

That doesn't produce the suction, it produces concussion.

Suction, concussion, suction, concussion.

Why are you taking your dick out of your pants?

Oh, I'm going to insert it into your vagina.

But it's for science.

So I'm going to keep the rest of my clothes on.

Okay, well I guess all that fondling got me well lubricated.

Speaking of which, did it puckle on your nipple?

No, it doesn't even have a mouth.

And actually...

How can that thing live if it doesn't have any way to eat?

It might not actually be mating.

It might subsist on orgasms.

How the heck could it do that?

Did you orgasm?

Well, yeah, but I've read that some women who are victims of rape will

orgasm, but then they feel guilty afterward.

An orgasm is an intense emotional experience.

Maybe a new form of life has adapted to use mental energy for it. fuel.

Wow.

Hey, I'm still kind of sore, so just be slow with the humping, alright?

I can't wait to interpret the data.

So, is the suction supposed to, you know, get rid of the sharp sperm?

I hope so.

But maybe it's not sperm inside you. Maybe it was a fluid used for

in case the foreplay didn't work.

But, wait, that makes no sense.

then how could it get me pregnant?

I mean, I know it can't get me pregnant because it's a shark and I'm a human,

but what's the point of mating with something if you're not going to, you

like, gush out sperm at the end?

I'm just throwing ideas out there. Some of them lead to dead ends and some of

them lead to answers.

Scientists should not be rigid.

Well, the science helping me right now is pretty damn rigid.

Oh, that's very nice of you to say.

Oh, I have a new idea.

So new, probably because of my nudity.

Maybe it wouldn't try to suck sperm out of you. Maybe it would try to suck

something else.

Um, I don't think the dick shark is interested in shark dick.

No!

The vagina opens up to a chasm of eggs. Maybe it's trying to suck your eggs out.

Well, that is mind -blowing.

my blood and suffer through a

field of desire betray and defeat

by my joyful life

Like the first ray of light from a death in my mind

It haunts me Take control Feel the fear from

my mind Bleed my way

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm so cold, I'm so alone.

I'll wait my death with pride.

When it's life, let me cry.

How I long for peace inside.

Like the dawn of the day.

Feels I have freed the last door I want to die by my own

hands Leave myself

Never to wake up even in the night.

Dream it just.

Come and go with a sweet word.

Waking a mind that can't.

Never to read today.

Why form bonds with people if one day the bonds break?

Cut my skull open and remove that part of the brain that forms connections to

other people.

And animals for that matter.

I would spend my life creating an inhibitor.

Fuck neuroscience anyway.

There are many experiments.

Countless experiments that show how our brains have already made a decision

before we are consciously aware of it.

Eat, sleep, piss, shit. Eat, sleep, piss, shit.

And then flush.

Takes a long time for humans to develop.

About 25 years.

It also takes them a long time to degrade.

Nature was cruel.

Cruel in prolonging the decline.

Cruel in the size of the penis it gave me.

Mankind should be encouraged to bestow mercy and to end that torturous path to

the grave.

Little dick and all.

And what of your shark?

Is it viable?

Can it reproduce?

And how do you know about my shark?

Oh, I've been watching your progress.

Your shark isn't evolving.

It's metamorphosing.

Oh? Yeah.

You are the one that's making it happen.

You're not just a passive observer.

That's why you know so much about the changes.

You induce them.

Of course you're interested in the metaphysical. Your mother was a

Please refrain from calling her names just because she's not in your life

anymore. No one I know is in my life anymore.

I'm frozen at this age.

Everyone I know grows old and dies, and it's your fucking fault.

You're the one who drank my potion.

It was in a fucking beer bottle.

You have this stupid habit of putting your potions into containers without

properly identifying the properties.

Do you remember when I went to change the antifreeze in my car, and when I

poured it out of the jug, it came out all black?

That's because the last time that you changed your oil, you put the used oil

the antifreeze jug.

I am not going to blame myself for the actions of others. I have lived many a

year, alone and weary of myself.

Desirous of death, yet never dying.

I am the mortal, immortal.

The potion just halts aging. It doesn't protect against physical destruction.

Why don't you just kill yourself if you're so tired?

I have gazed upon the blue depths of many a placid lake.

and said, peace inhabits those waters.

And yet my steps turned away so I may live another day.

Did you come into my life after all these years just to tell me how

you are for being forever young? Oh, I wish I had that problem.

No, asshole.

But you need to know. You need to know the consequences when you screw around

with people's lives.

Look at the creature, for God's sake.

It commands air and water?

What's next, fire? No, land. I want to call it the Ardshark.

Ard means land. So Ardvarks are landvarks.

And Ardsharks will be landsharks.

Maybe I'll have the Ardshark breathe fire at the last stage of

development. It'll be the final mythical power!

Hear my sorrows before you subject others to the conditions of your making.

I appear young, but I am old.

It is difficult for me to hold discourse with people who are seemingly my own

age. Years of propaganda in schools have made it pointless for me to have

conversations with the young.

I'm not suggesting that kids rebel against this system. I'm talking about

system and these traditions that are being imposed on them.

Leveling the playing field is doing nothing but making everybody a hell of a

more stupid.

Oh, you can't read?

That's okay.

We won't fail you.

That would be too traumatizing if you got left back.

Standardized tests were predictors of ability and success for many years.

But now that people can't score high enough...

The tests become into question, not the student's ability?

Add to this the silly policy that teachers now are the ones blamed for

students' performance?

Is it any wonder that teachers now are the ones cheating on tests?

It's a mad world.

No, there is no companion for me here now.

Like this.

in your special way.

I have your light, your fire, and now I will extinguish the spark

I so wantonly bestowed.

That's a quote from...

That's a quote from...

That's a quote... How

does it feel?

Taste your own medicine.

I do not have the right to curse future generations.

For the sake of only one. One more.

One more.

How could I be so goddamn blind?

I can't believe

Outro Music

Your dying love is crazy in vain to live

and pleads for help.

I simply cannot keep.

They never thought this.

Don't leave me here to crawl through.

goodbye no one there to see me cry maybe I'm just

sick of it all

I want to die by my own hand.