Original subtitles

Oh, no.

Look at this.

The deer have been eating the vegetables again.

Same thing happened last year. When the hills get dry, the little wild things

come down to my nice green garden to snack and to drink the water from the

Water is very important in California.

Without it, most of this state would be a desert.

I get my water from Crystal Springs.

A hunt named Jonathan brings me two big bottles every week.

Jonathan's shy, but that's something I could work on today.

He'll be making his delivery soon, and he's very punctual.

Pure as pot today.

Yes, it certainly is, Jonathan.

A lot hotter than you think.

Doesn't that look good?

You bet.

Pure spring water.

How's that feel?

Yeah, it cooled me right off.

Doesn't cool me off. Doesn't it?

No, it doesn't.

It takes a man to cool me off.

Well... Excuse me, I've got to go right now.

You can't go, Jonathan.

I've got plans for you.

What?

How'd you like a nice, hot, juicy blowjob, huh? Yeah.

Wow. Oh, I knew you'd like it.

Maybe I'd even like something from you.

Maybe I'd like your hot, wet tongue in between my sweet, juicy... What?

Yeah. Wow.

I knew you'd like it.

I'm not mistaken for assuming that she'd do something like that, would I?

Yeah, you bet.

Yeah.

I'd like to make Crystal Springs Water Mountain Mill.

I'd

like

to make love to a cock with my lips.

Thank you.

That's great juice, all of it.

It's a nasty pussy.

Grab it.

But two of them.

Thanks, my little.

John.

Let me do it.

Let me fuck your cock.

Let me do it.

Let my pussy grab hold of it.

Hold my hair.

Hold me by my hair.

I don't want to fuck you.

Spread

it.

Spread it.

Hold on to it.

You can't hurt me, Jonathan.

You can't hurt me.

You're going to make me feel better.

I like it.

I bet you're the happiest man at Crystal Springs.

You betcha.

Joanna sure knows her stuff.

This water from Crystal Springs is terrific.

Meet Nicky Charm. A sweet young thing with a goal.

Nicky wants to be a TV journalist.

You know, like Barbara Walters.

Now, let's watch this rookie as she handles her first tough assignment.

I'm a reporter for the Bluebird.

That's the name of Waldo High School's student newspaper.

I'm getting ready to go on an assignment right now.

My girlfriends call me Waldo High's crack reporter, and that's supposed to

really funny.

This is career week, and the Bluebird's doing a special edition.

I'm supposed to go out and find a professional person and interview them

write an article about their career.

My girlfriends expect something really special, so I can't let them down.

Let's see. What's a really interesting career for the 80s?

It's a gift.

It's a God -given gift.

It's like being a great ball player or having a brain like Einstein.

Really? Sure.

But first of all, you have to have the right equipment.

Do you know how hard it is to do dialogue while you're balling some girl

tree or on a pool table with a camera and three or four people so close to you

that you bump them on every thrust?

It's a gift.

Wow, why so many people?

Well, you have the cameraman, the director, the sound man.

The girl with the money light? Sometimes even a still photographer.

It's just like any other Hollywood crew.

I bet you love your work, though.

Somebody's got to do it.

Somebody's got to do it? You sound strange. It's got to be better than

sound like a garbage man or something.

Ah, well, that's because I'm an actor.

And you know what they say.

There's no business like show business.

Except, of course, real estate or banking.

But definitely not farming. The farming business is terrible right now.

You're really hard to understand.

Why don't we talk about you for a while?

What about career week, though? I haven't learned anything about your job

Well, let me put it this way.

It's like being a place kicker.

You're on the sideline until they need you.

And when you're going to kick the field goal, with some girls, it's a chip shot.

With other girls, it's a 60 -yarder from the right hash mark into a 90 -mile -an

-hour wind.

Now we're talking.

And lonely.

Lonely? Oh, you must have lots of girls.

Sure, I have lots of girls, but what types?

These Hollywood girls are fickle.

They're the prettiest girl I've seen in a long time.

And you're nice, too.

Oh, I'm too young, though, and inexperienced for you.

Well, maybe a little.

But I like you anyway.

Now I think you're making fun of me.

No, no, I'm making fun of myself.

You see, I'd like to be your friend, but I don't know where to start.

When I...

Win what? Win what, Joey?

Nothing.

No, don't do that.

I want to know what you were going to say.

I was going to say, does your mother know that you're here with a horny old

star like myself?

Horny?

Definitely.

Oh. Well, do you think I could learn any of the answers if we... Yes.

At least it's worth a try.

Yeah. It's worth a try. I forget career week. I'll just write about you in my

diary.

Yeah.

goal kicker, I told you that. Technically, technically no.

That was a chip shot.

But personally, it was my record.

It was 110 yards.

I guess I got the answers I was looking for, huh?

Yeah, me too.

Thinking about quitting high school?

Yeah.

This is the best interview I ever did.

How's that for in -depth reporting?

Should make a swell story for a high school newspaper.

Lonely Joey Silvera, screwed, budding reporter.

Eat your heart out, Miss Walters.

Got a cash flow problem?

I'm no banker, but Amber Lynn has a straightforward solution.

She earns her money the old -fashioned way.

Sixty bucks, Clyde. That ain't shit.

Time for another bank job.

No more bank jobs.

Good. Ever since Charlie got popped, I'm a little scared of banks myself.

How about an armored car?

No, no armored car either.

Well, then how's about a train?

They got lots of cash.

Yeah, let's rob a train. That sounds like fun.

Nothing's fun anymore.

And I'm sick and damn tired of sleeping on the floor.

What's the matter? Don't you like your new machine gun?

Is that why you're so grouchy all the time?

Oh, it's okay.

Okay? Why, that's the finest automatic weapon money can buy.

John Dillinger ought to have one so good. You better like it.

I don't want to be a robber anymore.

Well, this is one hell of a time to start switching careers.

You know, your face is on every police station wall in the country.

How the hell did you expect to live without robbing and stealing?

There's stuff that I could do.

Yeah, like be a gigolo, I suppose.

If you could dance, your pecker's probably big enough.

Problem is, Clyde, First time you show your face in public, you know it's gonna

get blown off.

Don't tell me that's what you want.

You know what I want.

Yeah?

Well, what about me, Clive?

Maybe I want something, too.

I thought I knew what you wanted when I got you that damn machine gun.

My man's in jail, Clive.

I'm not getting any of that stuff, either.

That doesn't mean I'm going to lay down for any man who wants me.

Well, I need a woman, Amber.

I've gone as far as I can go.

My nuts are going to explode.

If you don't do something soon, I'm going to quit the game.

I can't take this shit anymore.

You bastard, Kai.

You know I need you.

I can't handle those guys alone without you.

Now, what is it I can do for you?

I want you to come over here and suck my cock till it explodes. That's what I

want you to do.

Why, you foul -mouthed bastard. If Charlie was here, he'd kill you.

Well, he isn't here.

And who the hell cares anyway?

Certainly not I.

Neither do I.

thank you

Thank you.

You like that, don't you?

Oh.

There's not enough oil in the North Sea to get that man's dick past these lips.

That was the Dick Rambone, and we're talking 15 1⁄2 inches hard.

No kidding around.

More fun to come.

Come on, Kristen.

I know you're big and strong, but don't knock yourself out.

I've got plans for you this afternoon.

You're going to need all your strength.

This little girl's got a fire going on between her legs.

That's why I asked you over, to put out the fire.

Not so you could do push -ups on my lawn.

I bet Tiffany's impressed that I'm in such good shape.

I'd sure like to get her next to me.

I don't know how, though.

She's such a nice girl. She never let me do anything.

How come all the pretty girls are so damn straight?

Maybe if I'm real cool, I'll get to feel her tits.

Kristen,

you want to go up to my room with me?

Your room?

Wow.

What about your mom?

She doesn't care. She just thinks we're kids.

And besides, she won't see. We use the back stairs.

And if she does come up, I'll just tell her we're studying.

Wow, that sounds great.

We could study the reproduction system if you like.

Wow.

Do you mean that?

Sure, I mean it.

Leaving.

Good. Now we're on the run. Come on, let's go.

Put it all the way in your mouth.

Ooh, yeah. Mm,

that's my bar.

Treat me like a whore.

You want to treat me like a whore?

Oh, yeah.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Bye bye.

Or two muscles.

I'll just send Mama out for the afternoon.

You know, I've always been just wild about anatomy and physiology.

Today is a special day for someone.

It's Shanna McCullough's birthday.

And believe me, she's in for a big surprise.

Happy birthday, Shanna.

You didn't have to do that, Chanel. Oh, you didn't think I'd forget my very

favorite girlfriend, did you? Oh, thank you.

Read the card. Okay.

Gosh,

thanks.

Oh, that's great. Thank you.

Okay, I'm going to open it. Okay.

I hope you like it.

Look what it is.

Who is that?

Who? The ugly little girl that just helped herself to one of the beers I

over here.

Oh, you must mean Toy.

But she's not ugly.

Well, I think she's ugly. And who the hell is Toy?

You know Toy, my Berkeley friend.

No, you know Toy, your Berkeley friend.

And I don't think I like what's going on here.

There you go again. What's going on here? There's nothing going on here.

You always think there's something going on behind your back.

There usually is, you cunt.

Shauna told me everything about Chanel.

She's very possessive.

I think I'd better stay out of sight.

If they come in here, I'll pretend I'm the housekeeper.

I'd better hurry and get dressed.

Shauna didn't tell me her friend was so tall and good -looking.

I should have asked her to introduce me.

I think I'd better hurry and get dressed.

If those two catch me together with my panties off, I don't know what will

happen.

Nasty bitch.

I bet you and this little Oriental slut here have been screwing around behind my

back. Fuck each other silly. Isn't that right, you little whore?

No, Chanel, you got it all wrong.

Toy and I are just friends.

Aren't we? Tell her, Toy.

I don't think we can fool her, Shana.

Well, you sure didn't try very hard.

Well, maybe she just isn't a little sneak like you are.

Why don't you introduce us?

Chanel, meet Toy.

Hi, I'm Toy.

Oh, you look like a little toy, too.

Bet you're a good fuck.

Is she a good fuck, Shana?

You bet I am.

She's got a sweet little pussy about this big.

Is that right?

Hot, too. Don't forget to tell her how hot I get.

I'm ready to go anytime.

Ready, huh?

You bet.

Just look at me.

Want me to go lock the door?

You bet.

What do you have in mind?

Ooh, filthy perversions. Maybe a little anal sex.

A little oral copulation.

Nasty stuff like that.

All right.

Give me the finger and the toy.

Play with it.

Yeah, that's what I like to see.

Oh,

yeah,

look at that.

Stick those fingers in there. Fuck yourself.

You like it in the ass, my little toy?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I need a ride.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Mm -hmm. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

I love

that

clear thing.

That poking and probing causes her to suffer from dishpan hands.

Now, tell me the truth.

Didn't all that pretty pink pussy turn any of you on?

I know what turns me on. And it's not a bunch of sticky girls.

You see, I'm a narcissist.

Which means I like to watch myself.

Get turned on.

That's a clue.

Guess who's coming next.

You're new here, aren't you?

Why, yes, Doctor. As a matter of fact, I am.

Well, what do you think?

How do you like it so far?

Well... To tell you the truth, Doctor, this place is a little bit crazy.

Oh, yeah? How's that?

Well, I really shouldn't say anything.

You can tell me what's on your mind. You can talk here.

Well, I, uh... You know, you've got very nice tits.

That's exactly what I mean.

Everybody is so sexual here. It seems like all they ever want to talk about is

sex.

Really? I haven't noticed.

You have nice buns, too. Do you work out?

Why, thank you, Doctor. As a matter of fact, I do.

Every morning I do a special exercise to help develop the gluteus maximus.

You did it again.

Did what?

You got very personal.

Seems like that's how everybody is around here.

All everybody ever wants to do is talk about my body or sex.

Doesn't that seem a little bit strange to you?

Strange? For a sex addict rehab center?

I don't think that's strange.

Oh, S -A -R -C.

I didn't know.

That's interesting.

Hey, have you met Pops?

No, no. Who's Pops?

Oh, you gotta meet Pops.

All the candy strippers love him.

Why?

Why?

Because he's got a great big sense of humor.

You know, and even though he's got a failing heart, he still loves to make

young girls happy.

This, uh, Pops, is he an addict, too?

Oh, no. Well, he used to be, but he's cured now. Well, he's almost cured, just

more accurately. The girls love him.

He's a great old guy, Pops, you know. You know, you ought to take him on a

little walk. He'd like that.

He do have some nice buns.

Never mind my buns.

This Pops fellow, is he a masher?

No, of course not.

But he'd really like you to take him on a little walk before nap time.

I suppose so.

But he better behave himself.

Look at that balloon. That's good.

Uh -huh.

Hey! Yeah? Who do you suppose it belongs to? It belongs to you. What are you

thinking? It's yours. You found it, right? It's yours. What are you

You can buy, uh, you can use it to buy panties.

Panties and, uh, two dollars and vibrators and... Pop!

Oh, I'm sorry. I had a relapse of dirty talk. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Five whole dollars. This must be my lucky day.

Oh, five whole dollars.

make a deal uh how about a couple of lessons for five dollars well

you're on pops now what's the bet i bet you have um

um panties for pink panties

uh pink panties on you dirty old man they're white i thought

they were pink

me see just to make sure you want to see my panties is it all right yeah you

know i would check my bed you know i'm old but i'm a fool well i guess it'll be

okay nobody looking no nobody's looking just me how's the ticker

tick tick tick tick it's fine tick fine it's fine well

take a look at this you dirty old fart Man, you do have great butts.

Oh, you're not Pop.

No, I'm not.

Oh, you're that handsome doctor.

Why don't you tell me?

That's because you're cute, but I'd do it with you any time.

Bye -bye.

Yes.

Any of that pretty pink pussy turn any of you on?

Sure. I'll bet.