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Which kind of stereo are you looking for, sir?
I don't know, man. I'm looking for something big, you know? Something loud.
Big? We got 1 ,000 watt, 2 ,000 watt.
We got a small car.
Small car, big sound.
Well, actually, Jamal here knows quite a bit about car audio.
Hello, ma 'am.
How are we doing today?
Doing very well. What can I help you with?
Trying to sell something.
Oh, you want to sell something. All right. Let me, I'll pick this up for
Thanks. No problem.
How are you doing today, by the way? I'm good. How are you?
Excellent. Excellent. All right.
Fragile? Was it fragile?
I mean, not really.
What's in the box?
Just some musical instruments.
Oh, that was a reference. I guess you didn't get it. Oh, I get it. I get it.
What's in the box?
Oh,
drums, hey?
All right, if you don't mind, I'm going to take this stuff out of here and place
it right here. Is that all right? Oh, yeah. Thanks.
Where do you put these?
You take them, I think.
Was that a rice maker?
No, they're from Morocco.
I've never been to Morocco, actually.
They're not from Morocco. They're Morocco.
So what do you do with them? I don't get it.
What does that do, though? I don't get it.
You've never listened to Latin music, I guess.
Music? Like these are instruments?
Yeah.
These ain't instruments. Come on now. Where's your banjo? Where's your fiddle?
Where's your guitar?
I don't have any of those.
Well, come on. That's music. That's how you make music right there.
That one's a cowbell.
A cowbell?
Yeah. You guys have cattle?
Well, no, it's not for the cow.
It's annoying.
You make music with it? I mean, hell, I've heard stranger things, but...
Alright, if you don't mind, I'm going to set this box down right here. Is that
okay?
So, instruments, eh?
Yeah.
From Morocco, you said?
No, they're just from my house.
Alright.
Where's your house?
Well, I live here in the States.
Okay. But my family left. They moved back.
And so I got this.
All right. So your family left. They left you these instruments.
And now you want to sell them.
Yeah. Why are you selling them?
Oh, I need money.
Is it because you don't know how to play them? Because they ain't a banjo or a
fiddle? No, no.
You mean, oh, is everything all right?
Did they get deported?
No, they didn't get deported. They just wanted to move back.
All right.
You know, with that whole, you know, what's going on with the government and
that and all the speculation as to who's going to stay, who's going to go, you
have me worried there for a second. I know.
We're Americans.
We didn't get deported. Oh, all right. Well, I salute you. I salute you.
All right.
So what were you looking to get for?
This stuff.
I mean, as much as I can.
I don't know really how much is worth, but I mean, as much as I can get.
That's a very open statement right there. I mean, maybe I got like five
here I could give you. Is five bucks good for it? Definitely, I can't do
Well, how much does your family need?
A lot.
Is everything all right, ma 'am?
The house you're living in?
Their house in Ecuador.
I need to send them money.
Ecuador? What county is that in?
It's out of the country. It's not in a county.
Oh, I got you. I got you.
So how many instruments do you have here?
One, two, three, four, five.
Well, I want to make sure they all work. Hey, Jamal.
I used to play in a grassroots band here.
Help me out now.
Excuse me, sir. Sir, you were looking for audio stuff, right?
Hey, why don't you come... I'll give you a discount. Come on over here and help
us out here.
We're going to form the Down South Pond Band here real quick.
And that's not pond, that's pond.
Here, wrap your lips around that one right there.
That I don't know. I ain't from where she's from.
All right, now, is everybody ready here?
All right, here we go. Here we go. And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three.
Here we go now.
You gotta send money back home.
Look at this. All right.
Come on now.
Aruba, right? Aruba. Aruba.
Are they good then? Ain't that how it goes?
Aruba? Who what?
Aruba.
Aruba.
Aruba.
I thought it was Aruba.
All right, guys.
Thank you very much for your help. All right. Give him a 5 % off. All right.
Oh,
yeah. He liked it. He liked it.
Whatever. I don't know. All right.
All right. That sounded great.
Honestly, I think we could be top 10.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Well, I don't really even know where you would begin to start a band. I mean,
that kind of honestly sounded awful.
But if it ain't got a bunch of strings in it, I ain't about it.
So I'm thinking maybe I'll give you like 50 bucks for everything you got here.
I can't.
I'll be honest. I'm not trying to start anything. I'm trying to make money here,
all right?
So, I mean,
do you know how much this stuff is worth? I've never even seen anything
this. I know. I mean, it looks like it's nice.
The bongos have a nice design on them, and it's made out of goat skin, which
can't find anymore. So, I think that this is worth at least $300 by itself.
$300?
Hey, Jamal. Sir. Are you only familiar with rap music or do you know about like
authentic stuff?
I'm familiar with both types of music, sir. Do you know what any of this stuff
is worth here?
Calico looks like it was hand fashioned.
Yeah, but I mean, I don't own any cattle. You know what I'm saying? No,
these are all instruments that you can sell pretty well.
These are all pretty good, actually. What would you value with that? I mean,
whole lot of it right here.
$100? For all of it.
$300 you're saying?
Yeah. And we can make a profit off that? Definitely.
Well, I want to be sure, all right? I don't want to be spitballing here. This
my money we're dealing with, not yours.
I'm positive.
I mean, that's what? That's market value?
So then I need to offer $150 then.
If we want to stand to make a profit, $150 would be the best thing to do.
Well, here's what I'm thinking, too.
All right, why don't we put these back in the box, and we can get
a more accurate assessment as to the value of these here doohickeys, and we
appraise these instruments in my office.
We can't do it out here?
Well, I mean, I don't have a computer out here, nor, you know, I don't have
of those experts. I can't just call people in like you see on the TV shows.
I'd like to think I'm the expert around here. However, we all know I'm pretty
much far from that.
See, I'm seeing about $150 in this stuff right here.
But you never know. Maybe it's worth more. Maybe it's worth $200.
Just $200?
I mean, I really need like $800.
$800?
Yeah. And you brought these kindergarten toys in? They're really
expensive and traditional.
Well, here's what maybe we could do, all right?
Maybe we could turn that frown upside down, and you can leave here with a
bit of money.
Really? Yeah, so let's go back to my office, and we can make some beautiful
music together, and maybe you can leave here with a little bit more money.
Okay. Do you want to play the instruments?
Well, no, not necessarily.
We can clarify in my office, all right? I'll clarify everything.
All right, follow me this way right here to the left man
Those bogos right there
Here
I'll
sit you
No, yeah, you can sit right there.
Okay.
Do you want me to grab the instrument? No, they're all right right there. Don't
worry about that.
Okay.
I didn't get your name, by the way.
Um, Kitty.
Kitty? Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it's short for Catherine.
Oh, all right, all right. My name's Sean.
Okay. Nice to meet you.
All right. So, where'd you say you were from? Croatia?
Uh, no, Ecuador.
Ecuador.
I got no idea what that is, honestly.
Hey, do me a favor. Go ahead and sit up a little bit. It's unhealthy to have bad
posture. Let me just... Right there.
There you go. Perfect. Perfect.
There you go. Perk up a little bit. That looks good.
Alright.
So you know why I brought you to my office?
So we can appraise the... I have no interest in those.
Kindergarten toys, whatever they are. Little shaker rockers.
I mean, I still would like to help you out with your love familia. You know
I'm saying, though?
How? Well, how much money did you say you needed?
I need like $800.
That's a hefty price right there.
I know.
Typically a price like that comes with a...
Pretty good package.
Premium package, you know what I'm saying?
Not a cardboard box like that. Typically you get something worth your while for
that kind of price. Do you want a better box?
Oh, I want a box, that's for sure. Just not a cardboard box.
Like plastic?
You're not too sharp, are you?
Or that's right, you're from a different country, so maybe you're not picking up
on the...
On the euphemisms here.
I mean, metaphorically speaking, I want to get boxed. Do you get what that
means? No.
English is my first language, but we spoke a lot of Spanish at home.
First language? I don't know. English is the only language I thought.
Oh, no.
Hey, my bad. I don't know.
So I want to help you out, alright?
Okay.
But... Your little drum kit right there, $50, $100, honestly.
So we can make up the difference.
I mean, $800 is a lot. I mean, I've never paid $800 for a maraca. I mean,
the maracas in Belgium. Oh, damn.
Oh, my.
Oh, all right. All right. You're just naive, aren't you?
No, this ain't a maraca. All right.
This is a maraca.
I'm sorry. I don't understand.
Is it warm in here or is it just me?
It is. It is, right? Hey, come on. Get comfortable. Go ahead.
There you go.
Oh, okay.
Much better, right?
Go ahead and sit back up again.
Look at that posture.
Very nice.
All right.
You need to help your family.
Yes. I want to help you out.
Okay. It's getting almost time to close here, which means I've had a long day.
So I'd like to end my day on a positive note.
Okay.
With you, I want to make beautiful music here. That's what I'm saying.
No, not with the drums. Come on now. I want to...
Don't they do this type of stuff in your country? Come on. Don't they,
you know... Don't they sit in an office?
Please just be straightforward.
Kitty, alright. The cat's out the bag. I want to fuck.
That's what I'm saying. I want to pay you to have sex with me here in my
And I could, you know, I could pay you quite a bit of money.
How much?
I love the interest.
I love the interest. Alright.
Well, I will give you the $150 for your Congo set there.
Thank you.
And I'll give you $400 for your box.
My body isn't cheap.
But, thank you.
Oh, you're welcome. You're welcome.
Alright, well, let's make a deal then. Come on.
What's your counter offer?
800.
800 for sex plus that?
The instruments are worth a lot. No, that's too much. You're going to have to
home and get something else. Maybe your uncle had a guitar or something that he
played. But I need it tonight.
You said you closed soon.
I do close soon.
So that's what I'm saying. I'm trying to expedite this process here.
Maybe. $7 .50.
That's expensive.
That's a lot of money right there.
Alright,
here's what I'll do.
Just because I'm trying to get out of here.
I'm trying to get in you, then get out.
I'll go ahead and say we have a deal. Alright?
$800 total for the box and you, all right?
I can do that. All right?
Yeah. All right, we got a deal.
All right, so included in that deal... Hold on, let me grab this security
right here. No, no, no, I didn't say you could use a camera. I don't want my
family... Whoa, whoa, hold on now.
Calm down.
Are you all right?
I don't want you to record anything. Why would you do that?
Well, that should include a price here. I mean... I don't want to disgrace my
family like this. I don't want anybody to know.
Well, I mean, here. I'll give you two options, alright?
Nobody knows. I keep the video.
I jerk off to it later.
You get paid. You save your family.
Or... You leave here with $150 leaving your Big Bang Drums and, you know, maybe
your family loses their land or whatever. It's up to you.
Am I forcing you to do anything here?
Well, you promise you won't share it.
Oh, yeah, I promise.
Absolutely. You have my word, all right?
My word is my wood.
All right, so let's turn that frown upside down. What do you say, huh?
You ready to have some fun?
Um, yeah.
Well, but we gonna have American fun, all right?
Okay.
Are you picking up what I'm putting down here?
I'm sorry.
Because I'm about to be throwing it down.
Okay.
You definitely don't get out too much, do you?
No. I can tell.
All right. Well, let's get that beautiful body of yours up.
Go ahead and get up out of that chair.
Okay.
Oh, yeah. Stand right over there for me. Over here.
But here, actually, help me out. Put that shirt back in the corner.
Wow, look at you. You banded the hip, huh?
Oh, I do a lot of labor at home.
Labor? Yeah. You like pick lettuce and stuff like that?
Yeah, I guess.
All right.
I want to see you take that shorts off.
You ever done any modeling? Hold on. Actually, hold on.
Shit.
That's all right.
That's no big deal. Don't worry about it.
All right. Now, go ahead.
Take them nice little spank shorts off.
Turn around now.
You folded them shorts?
Yeah.
Oh, now that's a nice
look right there.
Thank you. I like that.
How are you feeling?
I'm a little nervous.
What are you nervous about?
I've never done something like this before.
You've never had sex before?
No, I've done that a long time ago.
A long time ago.
Like you said, I don't get out much.
You look great.
You must be in pretty good condition.
Thank you.
Why don't you turn around and bend over and show me that ass of yours.
Like this?
Arch that back.
Spank it for me.
Oh.
Like that?
What the fuck was that?
Spank that shit. Come on.
There you go.
Live a little. You know what I'm saying?
Okay.
Hold on.
Here's what you gotta do. Alright?
Pull this out for me. Hold that.
You like that?
Maybe. Maybe.
All right, y 'all give me one more.
All right, go ahead and put your hands on the desk right over there.
Here? Yeah, but bend over all the way.
Oh, no, bring those knees up. Lock them legs and bend over. Oh, yes.
Is this good? That's real good.
Peel them patties off for me.
Oh, okay.
Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bend back over.
Peel them off.
You got a nice ass there.
Thank you.
You get that from bending over and picking tomatoes?
I guess so.
Turn that way.
This way? Yeah, bend back over.
All the way over.
All the way? Yeah, spread your butt cheeks.
Here?
Oh, yeah. That's nice.
Oh, damn.
Is it good? Can I let go?
Nah. Alright, let go.
Oh, yeah. Do it again.
No, let it go fast. Let it jiggle.
Oh. Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Did I do it right? You did. One more time.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Put your hands up on the desk.
Oh. Or sit back.
Oh, there it is.
Like that?
Where'd you say you're from again?
I'm from America, but my parents are from Ecuador.
I never had one of them before.
Oh. Oh.
Um, okay.
Oh, shit.
Damn, that looks good.
You said you're not showing anyone this, right? No, I ain't gonna show nobody.
Don't worry about that.
Turn around for me.
Okay. Yeah, step closer.
Spread your legs a little bit.
You spraying it for me?
Oh, here?
Yeah.
Is that okay?
Come closer for me.
Oh, here?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Rub it a little bit for me.
Oh. One hand.
I can't really see with all your hands in there.
Is this better?
Spread your legs a little more
All
right
Good?
Great
Ready to get over here and get it done?
Turn around quick for me.
Look at that butt.
Oh,
shit.
Go ahead and spank that ass.
You like that?
Yeah, you're having a good time, ain't you?
Yeah?
Maybe a lot.
Maybe a lot? Oh, damn, we gotta want one.
Here, go ahead and get on your knees.
Do you want me to use my hands?
Oh, come on now. How old are you, by the way?
I'm 20.
You should know better.
So you want me to use my mouth?
That's right.
Okay.
Oh, there you go.
Put his hand down.
Look up in my camera.
You alright? What's going on there? You got asthma?
No.
It's just big.
Do you want me to help you? Oh, yeah. I'd love it.
I love you lightly, but I was taking care of your man.
Put that dick back in your mouth.
Okay.
Come on now, slip that in.
Look up here.
Oh, so are them balls too.
Oh, come on now, get into it.
Suck my dick like I'm Border Patrol and decide on whether or not to let you
family stay.
There you go.
I just want to get my sock off. Don't worry about it.
You wanna fuck?
Um, okay.
I'd like to.
Oh, you do, do you? Yeah.
Alright then.
Stand up and turn around.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
See, this ain't playing.
This ain't playing the bongo.
How about that, huh?
Alright, let me put my dick in you.
I need four more.
Yeah. Pop that ass out. Pull that shirt up a little bit, too.
Blocking your... Oh, look at that.
Stand up.
Stand up. Stand up.
You're in for one now.
Lift that shirt up. Yeah.
Yeah, just like that. There you go.
Yeah, move it to me like that.
up for me.
Yeah. American Invasion.
back up here on that.
How's it?
By this time, doors are closed.
Time for me to close out the shop. You need a paper towel?
Yes, please.
Security camera goes back there.
You look great like that.
Smile, you're on camera.
Paper towels.
Right here, right here.
There you go.
else is there to do.
We're done.
Donezo. All right.
Choppy choppy.
is good surfing there and that's where they make uh what's that i make uh it's
not sushi i make something else there right some type of fish i'm from ecuador
ah guatemala um ecuador isn't that in guatemala no
well is that in costa rica no it's its own place i
hear costa rica has some of the best hookers um probably probably i wouldn't
know
I'll bet you wouldn't. From Ecuador.
Had a company retreat down in Costa Rica a couple years ago.
Oh, cool.
When I say things got wild, I mean, there's a reason why I don't have a
secretary anymore.
Well, I've never been there, so.
She, uh, well, I don't know how to describe it, but...
Come on now.
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