Original subtitles

Are you sure you want to hear them?

Of course I want to hear it. It's from me aunt Sal.

Well, are you going to read it or do I have to get the crow man to do the job

for you?

Dear Weasel, as you can probably tell from the postcard,

I've gone away on holiday on the arm of a rich and charming gentleman who is

awfully charming and even...

more awfully rich.

Sally, how could you?

But it's no use talking because you can't follow me because I isn't

visitors. Stop there, Marty. He doesn't want to hear any more.

Yes, I does. I've got the stomach to hear anything she's got to say.

You go on, Titchy.

And even if I was receiving visitors, I wouldn't be receiving you, Weasel, you

smelly old bag of compost.

Thank you very much. I've heard enough.

Close your ears to it, sisters, and concentrate on your prayers.

Glory be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

There you are, my little friend.

Now back to your teeth.

Come on, off you go.

Good

morning.

Oh, good morning, sisters.

Glorious day, isn't it? Yes, quite glorious indeed.

Do come in. Oh, thank you.

Allow us to introduce ourselves.

I am the Mother Superior of the P. Walker Walker Convent, and this is my

Sister Agnes.

Honored. Now, how can I be of assistance?

You are the Truman of P. Walker Walker?

We wish to commission the construction of a scarecrow for our convent.

Certainly. A female one.

A female one?

Come on, Wurzel.

Let's go down to the school fair.

I don't want to go to no school fair.

There'll be toffee apples there. Don't want no toffee apples neither.

Me heart is broken.

No amount of toffee apples to stick it back together again.

It's no use soaking.

That's not going to bring your Aunt Sally back.

It is a most unusual request. Most unusual.

I believe one such order was completed in the northern hemisphere on one

occasion, but I heard no good came of it.

I cannot see that it's such a peculiar thing to ask. You need merely dress it

female clothing.

All nature observes the difference between male and female.

Bloods, trees, animals.

The stalk of a turd. The soft seeds of a pumpkin.

My scarecrows are as natural as they. You will not then make the convent a

scarecrow? Now, I did not say that. I will need to consult my books, my notes,

my old papers, my drawings.

When can I know of your decision?

Now, yes, I will make a female scarecrow for your convent. I will do it to show

it can be done.

Completely female scarecrow.

For the honour and benefit of scarecrow makers of the southern hemisphere.

Most pleasing.

And perhaps soon my sisters can pray in the peace of their chapel without the

chatter of birds.

Yes.

You will keep me informed, Mr. Croban. I will. Very well.

Good day. Good day, Mother Superior.

And my thanks to you.

Now, I must be careful of what I use. Make sure I use only female material.

Australian wattle bark.

Manuka sapling tray.

Yes, Wurzel, what is it now?

Why are you not at your post?

It's me, Mr.

Crowman, sir.

Me Aunt Sally's gone off on holiday with an handsome gentleman and she ain't

receiving no visitors.

Poor old Wurzel's heart's broken in two and I've walked all this way to come and

have it mended.

Wurzel, you know very well that scarecrows do not have hearts.

They don't? No, they don't.

What does they have then?

Nothing. Nothing?

Then me Aunt Sally's broken me stuffing.

She's gone off and diverted me and broken me stuffing.

What are you reading, Mr. Crowman?

Well, Wurzel, nobody else knows yet, but I am making my first female scarecrow.

What's female?

Well, you know what a girl is, Wurzel.

You're making a girly scarecrow.

That's right.

And I'm sure you will become friends, very good friends.

So leave me in peace so I can work. Off to your field, Wurzel.

Yes, your creativeness.

Mr. Cromwell.

Yes, Wurzel.

Does good friends go off on holidays with handsome gentlemen and not receive

visitors?

No, Wurzel.

Good friends do not.

Come, sister.

Lower, lower.

Sister Mary Aloysius, what have you got on your feet?

Day -glow plimsolls.

They're all the rage, Mother. Indeed.

Kindly do not let me see them again.

Yes, Mother.

Mr. Crowman.

Excuse me.

But I have reached a point where I cannot proceed without further

What information do you require? I need to see the location you have in mind.

Certainly. Follow me.

You cannot be serious.

Indeed I am. These pigeons are the greatest trial this order has had to

since the Reformation.

Indeed. But it would be a courageous scarecrow to undertake such a posting.

Courageous? Sturdy.

Sturdy scarecrow.

Good morning, your eminence.

What is it?

I come to visit my new girlish scarecrow friend.

Yes? Yes, and I brought her a pumpkin and a bunch of flowers.

Yes.

Is that her, then?

It is?

Ah.

Soon the moment approaches.

Soon you will have life.

I guess I might have expected that would be your opinion.

What are you going to name her? All in good time, Wiser, all in good time.

But, Mr. Crowman, you ain't made her big enough.

If you used your eyes more, Wurzel, you would have noticed that females on the

whole are smaller than males.

Now I shall start the sacred scarecrow naming

ceremony.

Hand me my twig, Wurzel.

Apples for health, corn for plenty.

Berries for happiness.

For the difficult duties that lie ahead of you, a pinch of household makes

spices.

The wind and the rain and all the seasons, I name this scarecrow,

Wattle Half -Rush.

You were created with the knowledge of right and wrong.

That pesky girl is a scarecrow.

Say something nice.

Something nice?

What's we got to eat round here? I'm starving.

She says she's wondering what she's going to get to eat up at that there

conventy place.

You'll find life as a convent scarecrow very simple, Wattle Half -Brush. And

gluttony will not have its place there.

Now, let me wipe it.

I'm going to take her. I'll twist her arm off her shoulder and leave her out

window. It's a moment.

It's time to let go of me. Get outside.

Go for it.

Because you's a girly scarecrow. That's why I walked along, right?

Well, I'd just as sure not be the convent scarecrow.

Will you come and see me when I's in the convent, Wurzel?

You're going to be receiving visitors, then.

What?

I said you're going to be receiving visitors, then.

All right, Wurzel, it's time we were on our way.

That goes for you too, Wurzel. Get back to your field at once.

There is a Mr. Crow Manor affluent.

A wonderful new adventure lies before you, Wattle. I'm sure you'll do me

You'll forgive the rather soiled nature of her attire. I would, of course, have

had her cleaned, but I knew your need was urgent.

Oh, well, it cannot be helped.

And our agreement remains unchanged.

Yes, a trial period of a week, after which time we agree to settle at the

standard price.

Now, remember, Wattle -Hearthbrush, your best behaviour. This posting is not an

easy one, and for that reason I've had to invest you with a touch more pluck

than usual.

Should stand you in good stead.

Where's they gonna put me, Mr. Crowman?

Up there, Wattle.

Up there?

I must say so.

Wow! Good seeing you, Mr. Crowman.

Oh, dear.

I do hope I haven't overdone the mixed spice.

Come on, dear.

That's it.

Mother, I've never been very good at heights.

Keep going, sister.

Keep going.

That's the way.

What a fine idea this was, Mother Superior.

Thank you, sister.

Perhaps now we can pray once again.

Let us hope.

Good afternoon, missy.

If you want some food scraps, you may go round behind the kitchen.

Food scraps?

I ain't come for no food scraps.

I wouldn't have got myself all spruced up like this for food scraps.

No, I've come a visiting.

I beg your pardon?

I said I've come a visiting.

What's the matter? Ain't you used to gentleman callers around this place?

This is a peaceful convent. We want no trouble. Be gone. With you. I ain't

nowhere, Mrs. Snooty. I come here to do some visiting, and that's what I'm going

to do.

What do you think you are, talking to me like that? It was a ledger of gummies,

that's who I is. And I've come to visit with Miss Wattle Arthbrus.

Wattle Arthbrus.

There's no one here by that name.

Who's that?

And if you do not leave this instant, I shall summon the Mother Superior.

Your mother?

Well, go and summon her then. I ain't afraid of you, and I ain't afraid of

mother neither.

Wait a minute. What about my... What about my business?

What about my business? What about my business? What about my business? What

about my business?

What about my

business?

Does appear so.

How does it look? See for yourself.

She almost looks sad, don't you think?

Was she firmly bound? The wind can gut over the eastern wall.

Oh, yes. She was very firmly bound.

We have a knack.

I'm sure it can figure its job.

How are you supposed to find a titchy, girly scarecrow in a big, old place like

this?

No wonder they don't have no gentleman callers. This is the way they treat

Hello, hello, hello.

It'll be good.

Hey, that's one of them there smelly scopes. Like what his eminence had.

Hold on a minute.

What a laugh, Brush.

Well, I'll be bum -squizzled.

Hey, what you doing out there, you dark -girly scarecrow?

I reckon old Wurzel will have to take you under his wing and teach you what a

scarecrowing is and what a scarecrowing ain't.

Lucky thing I got my visit in when I did.

All I got to do is climb up this here ladder.

Got me a good head for riding.

Me legs have gone all wibbly -wobbly.

Wa -ah!

Where's Hope? What are you doing up here?

I've come a visitin'.

What's them?

What's them?

Flowers. It's what gentlemen call a spring when they ain't got nothing else.

How's you going to take them then?

Well, how can I take them when I've got my hands all tied up?

What are you doing up here anyway, what, love brush?

What do you think I'm doing up here?

Showing off, that's what.

Well, aren't you going to untie me then?

Well, hang on a minute.

I was feeling a bit whoopsie.

Because if you do untie me, I'll let you come a -visiting me whenever you like.

You scarecrow.

Leave it to me.

Come along.

And in doubt, pray.

I don't mind where you shine up now.

You just wait till the pro man finds out you walked out in the first stop. He'll

despotize you.

The compost deep for you, what laugh, brush.

Very well.

You may stay.

What's that?

You mean I don't have to go back to that horrible play?

Well, I had my doubts about sending you there anyway.

No respectable scarecrow should be tied to a church roof.

But, Mr.

Crowman... Quiet, Wurzel.

Oh, ciao very much, Governor.

Ciao very much.

Stop that, Wurzel. Ah, must behave yourself.

Very sorry, sir.

Now, I've decided to put you with Wurzel for a few days, just to learn some of

the ropes.

for the convent where I can take care of them.

What are you waiting for? Get going and try to get along as friends. Oh, you

don't need to worry about us, Mr. Cromwell.

We're very close already.