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Morning, beloved.
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Look what I've brought you.
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A present.
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A present for me?
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Pretty flowers for a pretty lady.
6
00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:07,330
They've got no eggs on them.
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Of course they ain't got no eggs on
them. On account that they was run over
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farmer from his horse and cart.
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It's the thought that counts, isn't it?
No, thank you.
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Then I'm telling you, it was seen as
though I brung you these pretty flowers.
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How about you invite me inside for a
sausage or a fruit?
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I'm very sorry, Walter, but I ain't
stopping.
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I heard that the fair and Madame
Fricarty might be there.
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Who's Madame Fricarty when she's adult?
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Excuse me, young sir, but I wonder
whether you could prepare a poor old
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scarecrow a copper or two for him to buy
some of that little cat.
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00:02:00,971 --> 00:02:04,399
Why should I? Because if you don't, I'll
knock your titchy block off your
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shoulders. You and whose army?
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Oh! Well, I'll be bummed, Swizzles.
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What's that there ginormous birdie doing
sitting up on top of that there
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steeple? Must be one of them they are,
but probably.
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00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,560
Well, I don't see anything.
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00:02:28,170 --> 00:02:30,490
Oh, it's you, Mr. Dunedin and Cromantor.
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They wouldn't have you doing here. I
might very well ask you the same
25
00:02:34,711 --> 00:02:38,649
Wirtle Gummidge. You're supposed to be
on duty in Canana's cornfield. Oh, but I
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00:02:38,650 --> 00:02:39,549
were, Mr.
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Cromantor. I were. And while I was
guarding them there, corny cobs, a huge
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of locusts come at me over the edge.
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Big black idiot things they were, Mrs.
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O 'Neill and Crow Mensa. And they were
making horrible noises all the while.
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Going... Shut up, Wurzel. I suspect the
reason you're at the fair and not on
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duty has less to do with locusts and
more to do with that pink sugary
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on your face.
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My, my, my.
35
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That candy floss, your detectiveness.
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00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:14,830
I wonder how that got to be there. You
were assigned a job this morning,
37
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And I intend to see that you do it.
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I see
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a
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tall, dark stranger.
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A man who has acquired great wealth. A
prince?
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He reaches across the water.
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An old wooden chest.
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What's in it? I cannot tell. It is
locked.
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But wait.
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The lid is opening?
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Yes. Gold!
48
00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:03,480
Gold? Oh, he must be loaded to the
gunwale.
49
00:04:03,481 --> 00:04:07,499
Well, he can't sit around here all day.
I'm going to put myself in circulation.
50
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,550
Just a minute.
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00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,860
Yes? You have forgotten something.
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Two dollars.
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What a privilege of looking into the
future.
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00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:16,310
Two dollars?
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00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:20,319
I don't have two dollars. And even if I
did, I wouldn't give them to you. It is
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00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,480
most unwise to abuse the services of
Madame Forcarty.
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00:04:23,481 --> 00:04:27,679
You've told me what I want to know now.
If you'd have had any sense, you would
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have asked for the money first.
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00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:34,899
Ladies and gentlemen, and meet New
Zealand's most notorious pirate and
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00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:40,699
of the high seas, Polly Hayes. A superb
life -size waxwork model in an authentic
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reconstruction of the very... prison
cell in which he spent his ten -year
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sentence for manslaughter and other
crimes against humanity.
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00:04:48,670 --> 00:04:50,410
Bully Hayes, ladies and gentlemen.
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00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:55,569
Bully by name, bully by nature. A man
feared and loathed from North Cape to
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00:04:55,570 --> 00:05:00,950
Bluff, known variously as the Terror of
the Tasman, the Barrytown Bootlegger,
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00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:06,829
and Prince of Codfish Island. Prince?
Did you say Prince? Yes, ma 'am. Prince
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00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:10,510
Codfish Island, where he based his trade
in illicit whiskey.
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00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:14,140
Only 30 cents to meet him face to face.
69
00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:22,640
Oh, not a trince. He just already smelly
convict.
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00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:27,999
I don't think I've ever seen anything
quite so ugly since I last slapped eyes
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Wurzel Gummidge.
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00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:30,640
Oh, what's this?
73
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Bullies, jailed, abduction,
manslaughter, trade slaving.
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00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,880
That way the cook's a lousy little bard.
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I beg your pardon?
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00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,610
Sorry, miss.
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I've been locked up in here so long on
exhibit, I lost touch with the finer
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00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:52,850
of gentlefolks.
79
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,180
They treats me like scum in here.
80
00:05:56,040 --> 00:06:01,839
Scum is what you is. You can say that,
but how many convicts does you know who
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00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:06,040
has a horde of gold bullion waiting for
them when they gets out?
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00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:13,019
Four hundred of them, size of a loaf of
bread. I acquired them from the captain
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00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:17,519
of a Dutch brigantine in high seas off
the coast of Borneo. Most unwilling he
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00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,760
was to part with them until I put me
chopper through his throat.
85
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:25,820
Where might these gold bars be now?
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00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:34,519
I buried them on a small island just off
the coast of... Why should I
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00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,570
tell you that?
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I could go and dig them up and bring
them back to you.
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00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:51,219
Before a young brass bounder has still
got eight feet in his hair, no, if
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00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:53,680
there's any gold to be got, I'll do the
getting.
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00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,880
I've got a much better suggestion for
you, ma 'am.
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00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:01,779
Why don't you get yourself up on that
chair and fetch me down the key ring
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00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:06,499
the top of yonder cabinet, and I, for my
part, will consider cutting you in on
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00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:07,550
half shares.
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00:07:07,850 --> 00:07:10,010
When I gets these shackles off me feet.
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Off you?
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200 bright, shiny gold bars.
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00:07:15,030 --> 00:07:17,230
You'll be able to live like a queen.
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00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:25,090
Come on, Mark.
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00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,230
I never thought I would have to do this,
Wurzel.
101
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But your chronic truancy of late leaves
me with no other option.
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Needless to say, I am bitterly
disappointed in you.
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I'm very sorry you're holding this.
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But it won't happen again. Really, it
won't.
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I know it won't happen again because I
am taking steps to ensure that it
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doesn't. Yes, I get your meaning, you
bondage.
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What happens if it comes on to rain and
I need a bit of shelter?
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00:08:00,420 --> 00:08:03,250
Or if I get hungry and want a cup of tea
and a slice of cake?
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00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,959
And I can't go and see me Aunt Sally,
can I, if I'm tied up in this pesky
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all day?
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Hmm.
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00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,660
Wurzel, what sort of creature are you?
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I'm a scarecrow creature, your creative
name.
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And what do scarecrows do?
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She knows very well what they does, Mr.
Crowman.
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Answer the question.
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Well, they scared crows, of course.
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And do they have any business in skiving
off indoors at the first sight of a
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drop of rain?
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Or partaking of tea and cake? Or, for
that matter, trailing around after
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Aunt Sally's?
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No, you're right.
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I rest my case.
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Come along, Mom.
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You're as slow as a sand barge in a car.
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But fast as you can ain't fast enough.
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I've got important business.
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My precious shoes.
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They're not used to all bling over one
part.
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Take them off.
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00:09:14,330 --> 00:09:16,390
Take them off?
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If I took them off, I'd be in my bare
feet, sis.
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00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:23,410
Never go around in bare feet on account
it chips the paint on my toes.
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Sorry, I don't really like them.
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I've had enough of your airs and graces
for one day. I intend to get out to that
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island before the sun is over the yard
on me.
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So come on.
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00:10:05,550 --> 00:10:06,600
We've got to get help.
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You stay here and watch where they go.
I'll go get someone.
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00:10:14,370 --> 00:10:16,110
Russell, quick, it's an emergency.
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00:10:16,111 --> 00:10:20,269
Emergency or not, I ain't budging. And
the reason I ain't budging is because I
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can't budge. And the reason I can't
budge is because His Majesty the Crow
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has tied me to this here post.
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Or to put it another way, it's all tied
up right now.
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Russell, I'm telling you, it's in
danger.
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00:10:30,561 --> 00:10:33,349
Well, she'll just have to stay in
danger, won't she? Because there ain't
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I can do about it.
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00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,790
Kidnapped? She's been taken out to sea
by a horrible man with a big chin.
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Me intended.
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Kidnapped by a big chick.
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If I take 12 paces towards the old army
barracks by the shore...
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8,
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00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:02,330
9, 10, 11, 12!
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00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:05,250
Or was it 15?
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00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:08,350
No, no, no, no. I'm pretty sure it was
12.
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00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:10,020
I'll tell you what.
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I'll take one more for good measure.
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You don't even know.
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00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,740
Well, I would have writ it down.
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Only somebody might have stolen it and
got to the booty first.
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00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,460
And besides, I can't write.
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00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,240
You ignorant, illiterate fool.
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00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:28,659
How is it worth to find the gold if you
can't even remember where it is?
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00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,620
I've never heard of anything so stupid
in all my life.
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00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,440
Well, it was a hundred years ago.
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00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,860
Things change in a hundred years.
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00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,840
And besides, I'm pretty sure that it's
here.
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00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,870
Salt's intuition, if you like, but I can
feel it in me bones.
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00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,600
The goal is there, six foot under the
sand.
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00:12:55,600 --> 00:13:02,379
I thought you were going to get
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00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:05,979
help. I did. I brought Werther. Oh, well
done. Let's put out the fire with
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petrol.
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00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:09,960
Petrol? You never said nothing about
no...
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00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,290
Being smart.
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00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,920
All right then, Miss. Be smart. It
depends if you're so smart.
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00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:19,280
Where's my Aunt Sally?
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00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:20,920
He took her out to the island.
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00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,010
There's a dinghy down by the water we
can use. A dinghy where?
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00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:44,890
got another two foot to go.
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00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:49,649
Well, you'll come and dig then. It ain't
gentlemanly to let a lady do all the
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00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:50,700
work.
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00:13:52,730 --> 00:13:56,290
I'd like to. I really would, ma 'am, but
my back.
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00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:59,830
See, I've been forbidden all this
bending and heaving.
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00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,750
Wait a minute. I just remembered.
185
00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:06,590
It wasn't 12 paces towards the harmy
barracks.
186
00:14:06,890 --> 00:14:09,850
It was 20 paces towards Point George.
187
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,860
and it's about pointing that ginormous
bangstick at.
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00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,400
Weasel, this minute you can't tell him.
189
00:16:02,401 --> 00:16:06,199
Oh, easy, easy. Now, listen here, you
great big lumber. You bring me the Aunt
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00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,039
Sally back.
191
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,479
You've got no right to have taken her in
the first place.
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00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,700
Is that so?
193
00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:12,190
Yes, it is.
194
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:13,680
Weasel, he's got a gun.
195
00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:15,860
Who cares? I ain't scared of no gun.
196
00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:17,480
Nor him, what's old is it?
197
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,160
Now, look here, chubby chops.
198
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,300
What have you done with my Aunt Sally?
199
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:32,699
Thank you very much, Wurzel Gummidge.
Yes, well, don't you worry your pretty
200
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:35,899
little head about nothing no more, Aunt
Sally, because I'll have you rescued off
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00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:39,819
this here island quicker than a duck can
shake his watsies. You do no such
202
00:16:39,820 --> 00:16:40,759
thing, bully!
203
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:41,810
Yes, Ma.
204
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,050
Why did you take the note of
insubordination?
205
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:38,259
That's right, Titchy. You tell him. And
if it comes to that, I reckon I ain't
206
00:17:38,260 --> 00:17:40,000
going to do no more digging neither.
207
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:43,420
Now, it's mutiny, is it?
208
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:48,040
You can call it what you like, but I
ain't shoveling no more sand for nobody.
209
00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:53,479
What did you say, Wurzel Gummidge? Same
goes for you too, Aunt Sally. If you
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00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,010
want any more old stuff, you can dig
them yourself.
211
00:18:03,030 --> 00:18:07,689
There's only one thing for it, ma 'am.
When he has a mutiny, you have to sort
212
00:18:07,690 --> 00:18:10,490
out the ringleader and make an example
of it.
213
00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:16,609
Now, if you don't get back to work in
three seconds, I'm going to spread your
214
00:18:16,610 --> 00:18:18,510
brains all over this beach.
215
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,030
He ain't got no brain.
216
00:18:21,130 --> 00:18:23,300
She's right there, Mr. Bunny, Bunny,
Bunny.
217
00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:26,480
There ain't nothing up here before the
alternate.
218
00:18:32,681 --> 00:18:35,479
Found something? What is it?
219
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:36,800
I don't find a wooden chest.
220
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:38,070
A wooden chest?
221
00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:39,430
Go.
222
00:18:42,260 --> 00:18:43,700
Ain't you got your three yet?
223
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,080
I thought three come after five.
224
00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:31,929
Vintage Hockanoi.
225
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,090
What's Hockanoi?
226
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,020
High -grade whiskey, lass.
227
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:39,319
Brewed in the Hockanoi hills by me old
mate Dougal MacDonald. Never mind about
228
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,580
that. What about the gold?
229
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:45,119
Ah, well, that's an interesting
question, ma 'am. It seems to me that
230
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:49,479
trunk, which was meant to be sent to
Arthur, has got muddled up with my trunk
231
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,120
containing the gold bullion.
232
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,910
Let's hop off this and see how it
tastes.
233
00:21:23,661 --> 00:21:27,849
I could do with a drop of cork to cool
myself.
234
00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:30,089
Perhaps I could ask him if he'd borrow
me a sip.
235
00:21:30,090 --> 00:21:33,570
I wouldn't. If you go anywhere near his
bottles, he gets savage.
236
00:21:33,571 --> 00:21:35,749
We're just waiting till he falls asleep.
237
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,490
And with any luck, we can row home.
238
00:21:37,491 --> 00:21:40,709
Well, that's the plan, is it? Yeah,
right. While we're waiting, Old Worth
239
00:21:40,710 --> 00:21:41,970
have himself a bit of a nap.
240
00:21:42,630 --> 00:21:45,940
And you kiddies wake me up as soon as
you're ready to go, all right?
241
00:21:46,050 --> 00:21:49,970
If I start soaring, whack me over the
head. That usually does the trick.
242
00:22:11,691 --> 00:22:14,389
Oh, then one, two, three, up.
243
00:22:14,390 --> 00:22:15,440
Which way is this?
244
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:16,810
Oh, one.
245
00:22:21,030 --> 00:22:24,880
Dear, what are we taking him for? We're
going to put him back where he belongs.
246
00:22:24,881 --> 00:22:29,849
Come on, Weasel. Here, wait a minute.
What about my intended?
247
00:22:29,850 --> 00:22:33,649
We're leaving her. It's no more than she
deserves after the way she treated us.
248
00:22:33,650 --> 00:22:36,869
But she's my intended. I can't leave my
intended on a desert island to be eaten
249
00:22:36,870 --> 00:22:37,920
up by canning balls.
250
00:22:38,050 --> 00:22:39,190
I should say not indeed.
251
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:46,610
It tended to happen. Certainly, Aunt
Sally. Come along. You get up in the
252
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:49,670
Come on, Titches. Help me give the boat
a big push into the sea.
253
00:22:49,940 --> 00:22:54,020
Three, five, four, three, three, five,
four.
254
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:59,679
Roll up, roll up and see the original
waxwork bully, Hayes. The terror of the
255
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:04,000
dance. The brave man, Bootlegger, and
Prince of Codfish House.
256
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:08,640
He mysteriously disappeared, but I'm
pleased to say he's back again with us
257
00:23:08,641 --> 00:23:09,599
ladies and gentlemen.
258
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,940
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
259
00:23:12,750 --> 00:23:14,950
Only 30 cents to meet him face to face.
260
00:23:17,090 --> 00:23:19,150
Not so high and mighty now, is you?
261
00:23:19,151 --> 00:23:22,489
Not now that you're chained up like a
heifer lump in a circus.
262
00:23:22,490 --> 00:23:23,540
Please, Collie.
263
00:23:23,690 --> 00:23:27,310
I'm not feeling very well after our
jollification last night.
264
00:23:27,610 --> 00:23:30,020
I ain't surprised you struggled, old
speed dog.
265
00:23:30,390 --> 00:23:34,070
And now you ain't got that there bang
stick, no one's frightened of you no
266
00:23:34,170 --> 00:23:35,220
so...
267
00:23:44,270 --> 00:23:45,320
Oh, hello.
268
00:23:45,861 --> 00:23:47,909
It's you, Mrs.
269
00:23:47,910 --> 00:23:51,689
Zuneid and Crowman, sir. I bet you're
wondering why old Wurzel ain't out of
270
00:23:51,690 --> 00:23:54,549
there at Corny Cobfield, that where you
sent me. Well, it's like this you...
271
00:23:54,550 --> 00:23:55,600
Silence!
272
00:23:55,601 --> 00:24:03,009
I'm ever so sorry, Your Highness, on an
horrible pirate kicking at me and me own
273
00:24:03,010 --> 00:24:05,789
self. Be quiet, Wurzel. I've heard
enough of your stories.
274
00:24:05,790 --> 00:24:07,209
But it's true, Your Eminence.
275
00:24:07,210 --> 00:24:08,690
Wurzel, damn it! Yes, sir.
276
00:24:40,821 --> 00:24:42,919
Bye.
277
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:47,470
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