All language subtitles for Worzel Gummidge Down Under s02e07 Elementary My Dear Worty

Only natural materials to preserve the
integrity of the product.

Excuse me, Mr. Croman, what is that in
the case?

Ah, that, madam, is my most prized
possession.

The Golden Turnip Trophy, awarded to me
by the Guild of Crowmen in 1956.

For outstanding services to the
scarecrow -making profession.

It is one of only two existed in the
southern hemisphere.

Is it real gold?

Of course it is real gold, worth a
considerable amount.

Thank you so much.

See you again next year, I hope.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Oh, that's for you, madam, $10.

And there are two free vouchers
entitling you to a 10 % discount on all

trails through to December.

Ah, thank you very much. Thank you.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Phew, quite a day.

Still well worthwhile.

Right, Wessel, you're off the pole now.

Is that it then, Mr.

Cromancer? Is the open day closed?

Yes, that's it for another year,
Worsham.

We won't be receiving any more visitors
today.

Now, some of these museum artifacts have
to be returned to Professor Pike.

So I'm going to leave you in charge to
mind the other exhibits while I pop down

to the village.

Very well, Mr. Cromancer.

Now, there are some very valuable items
here, Worsham.

I would not like any to go missing.

I hope I can trust you to stay on guard.

Oh, you can rely on me or any man.

If I can guard wedges, I can guard
valuable.

Hmm. Now, I may not be back until
tomorrow morning, so remain alert.

Don't let me down, Russell.

Oh, I won't, Mr. Crowman, sir. Don't you
fret.

No, I'll keep me eyes slapping and me
ears open.

I'll start doing the...

I wish to lie down on it there, Betty.

I could see the while you're bored
better.

Nothing like a cushion at your back in
your garden.

Very tiring on the eyes, too, this
garden.

We're going to have to rest him for a
moment or three.

Still guarding, Mr. Crowman. Still
guarding.

Mr.

Crowman?

Mr. Crowman?

Is that you?

Mr. Crowman?

Yoo -hoo. Anyone there?

It's all right.

Relax, Faisal.

Nobody there.

So I'd better have a little look, make
sure all the wild animals are all right.

Everything present and correct, except
the gold eternity.

The gold eternity!

Stop! Help!

The humanity!

Leave it! I can't get it! That's all
it's got to be! The humanity! No! No,

gone! Help!

Stop these!

Let's put them on the boat.

Hey.

What, eh?

What do you have?

What, eh?

What? What do you have? Hey, you razzle
-dummies. What is the idea of calling

out my name in that vulgar fashion when
I'm in the middle of my betty? Oh, stop

filling your fat face with spud.

It's as if his turnip has gone missing.

What?

You don't mean his gold -dick turnip or
his titan's? Do it. Yeah.

That's the one. It was pinched right
from under me very nose.

I was supposed to be guarding it, you
see. Only I snored off for a moment or

three. And when I woke up, there he was,
gone.

You ain't seen nobody creeping into the
workshop else creeping out, have you?

Oh, I don't think so. But then again, I
probably have his face buried in the

pot.

He's in a real spot above her, all
right. If I doesn't get that gold and

back to his ironies before he gets back,
I's for the composting.

He's in a real spot. It's got to bother
all right. And I reckon there's a fellow

scarecrow I is obliged to give you a
hand.

Now, you didn't see nobody take the
turnip, nor did I.

And that means we don't know who took
it, nor where we're going to find it.

I see.

Woody, you're on the right track.

Now we're getting somewhere.

And as we don't know where we're going
to find it, we don't know where to start

looking.

One thing we do know, it ain't where
it's supposed to be.

Brilliant!

What do you have? You was a born
defective.

Defective? Hey, that's it.

The detective head.

You remember when the crow man lost his
fob watch and he made that detective

head fall to track it down?

You mean the invegetated head.

It's over in there.

I know, because I peeped.

There it is.

Just where it was when I saw it last.

Are you sure this is the one?

It's got a funny look in its eyes.

Oh, Wilson.

You try it on.

If he really thinks it'll help me get
the turnip back.

Come, Walter, we must waste no more
time.

Hand me my cape and my dear stalker hat.
There's a good fellow.

You what? In the trunk, my dear chap, in
the trunk.

Yes, sir, Mr. Gamage, where's the...
Thank you, Walter.

Thank you.

Now, the dear stalker hat.

Thank you, Walter.

First, we must make a thorough
inspection of the scene of the crime.

But if the time is of the essence, you
must hurry.

Don't look like there's much evidence to
go on. That's the word, though, Mr.

Gummett. On the contrary, my dear
fellow.

The place is positively alive with
clues.

But that's just a big common old straw,
what any of us might have dropped.

Ah, but is it just a piece of common old
straw?

If it is, will you kindly tell me why
there are traces of superphosphate still

clinging to the fibre?

Now let's see if we can find any more
traces of the culprit's individuality.

Now, what we have here, my dear Warty,
is a very large scarecrow who walks with

a pronounced limp, has bad teeth, speaks
with a lisp, and is commonly found

guarding potato patches.

Hey, how can you tell all that, Mr.
Gummidge?

Elementary, my dear Warty.

Now, the space between the bookshelf and
the barrel is sufficient to allow any

normal -sized person to pass through.

And yet you will notice that the books
have been considerably disturbed.

The fact that the books have been
disturbed leads me to one conclusion,

is that our man is very broad of girth.

Also, if you will inspect the floor
closely, you will notice that he has

light footprints and that these are at
regular intervals.

So there he is.

Now, this can mean only one thing.

that our man has one leg substantially
shorter than the other.

Ergo, he walks like this.

We're limp, precisely.

Tell me this.

What about his bad teeth?

Now, how do you explain that, then?

That is very easy to explain.

You will notice here this jar of boiled
sweets has not been touched.

Now, no scarecrow with a healthy
appetite would resist such a temptation,

unless... Unless what?

Unless his teeth are so decayed that a
chew on a boiled sweet would prove too

painful. That's right.

But what about his lisp? Now, you
couldn't possibly know he spoke with a

Couldn't I?

Follow me.

Now then, you will note that the
doorstop here has been knocked over.

Now, our thief, when leaving the
workshop, stubbed his toe and let out a

explicative.

The flecks of spittle on the glass there
are evidence that our man suffers from

a very severe speech impediment.

Brilliant, Wurzel.

You are brilliant.

No, no, my dear Wurzel.

No, no.

I have merely observed the facts as they
are.

And by a simple process of deduction,
arrived at the most probable

It's a dumb game anyway.

Can't play properly with only
experience.

Hey, it's Wurzel, isn't it?

He's got another one of those stupid
heads on. Not again.

Hey, Wurzel!

Hey, you, don't interrupt.

Can't you see he's concentrating?

Do you want to have a game of softball?
Oh, run away, little boy.

This is scarcely the time for childish
pursuits.

See, I told you. He's far too busy to be
talking to the likes of you.

Busy doing what? He's investigating.

And he's solving a crime as well.

Oh, it's that dumb detective head.

No wonder he's being so slooty.

Come on, Nicky. We might as well just
play by ourselves.

No.

I've got a better idea.

All right.

Hold on to him, Highport.

Let's take a good look at him.

Are you from the health department or
something? Because I was only just

fumigated last month. Open your mouth.
There's a good fellow.

What's all this about, then? We're
investigating a crime and you're the

Out in your mouth.

Ah, yes.

Thank you.

Now, my good chap, I'd like you to walk
me past that sack of potatoes over

there, in a straight line.

Away you go.

What is your opinion, Bertie?

I reckon it's him. I reckon he done it.
You do?

But his teeth are in excellent shape,
and he has no trace of a limp.

I don't reckon it's him. I don't reckon
he done it. Of course you think me!

Whatever you reckon I done, I didn't.

And if it's something you reckon I ain't
done, which I should have, then I did.

Tell me, my good fellow, how long have
you been working on this potato patch?

I've been right here ever since... ever
since I started, not a minute longer.

He's speaking in riddles, Bertie.

He's either frightfully stupid or else
he's trying to put us off the scent.

Has there been any other fellow here
before you?

A big fellow, with bad teeth.

Yes and no.

What do you mean, yes and no?

What's he mean, yes and no?

Be more precise, my good man.

Well, if by a fellow you mean a
scarecrow, then there were.

But inasmuch as a scarecrow ain't a
fellow, then there weren't.

Well, do you know which way he went?

I can't see a thing.

But he keeps down in that woolshed over
there in between postings.

Well, it's funny, I can't see a thing.

All right, then.

That's our man.

I think we have him.

Yes, sir.

Warte, come.

The game is afoot.

Careful, my dear Warte.

What we have here is a dangerous
criminal.

A man so corrupted by greed and avarice,
he will stop at nothing to protect his

infant. You mean he's a stinker? In the
argo of the street.

I think we have him.

That's a rat in a trap.

You take this door.

I'll take the other.

And if he resists, subdue him with this
shovel.

And I thought... Shh.

Confound it, you.

They're tiny minds and incapable of
grasping the gravity of the situation.

Oh, look.

Too hard there.

Capital working.

The very crew we've been looking for.

Yeah, it's one of them hats they hand
out at the Trescot farm.

All the scarecrows have got them.

We've got no time to lose. Come on.
Yeah.

Right. Call me a cab, what?

You're a cab, Mr. Gummett.

A handsome cab, you fool.

You're a handsome cab, Mr. Gummett. Mink
and poop.

We're hot cabby.

What? We've stopped with our cabbie. I'm
sorry, Mr. Gummidge. I can't remember

which way is Tuscot Farm. I can't
remember if it's me left or me right.

You shouldn't be driving a cab if you
don't know your roads.

Excuse me, sir.

Could you direct me the way to Tuscot
Farm?

Get up, my good man.

What on earth do you think you're doing?

Oh, sorry, Mr. Gummidge.

I'm just puffed out.

This is no time to be groveling around
in the dust.

Good day to you, gentlemen.

His eminence, the Crow Man, has asked me
to convey to you his deep

appreciation... for all the splendid
work that you're doing on his behalf.

Oh, the clown man never said anything.

Shut up.

Just hand around these sweets. There's a
good fellow.

Get on with it.

Oh, now I get you.

You're a sly old piece of baggage, Mr.

Wurzelgummies, and that's a fact.

Here we are, fellas.

Have yourself a nice, royal, sweet
evening.

No sweet for me, thanks.

That's him!

That's our man!

After him, what if?

Hey, you!

Come back here!

Get off of me, you big bully! What are
you taping me for?

Let's take a little look at you.

You're picking on me!

Leave me alone!

Yes, just as I thought.

Do you see, Warty? The curious teeth?

The pronounced limp?

Yes, he's the culprit, all right.

I never got the funk.

He's a shifty -looking individual, all
right, no mistake.

They've always picked him on me, and it
ain't fair.

You tell us where it is, my man, or
it'll be the worst for you.

Well, Warty, what are you talking about?

Eternity! The gold eternity! You nicked
it, and we want to know where it is!

Never!

I'll never nick no turnip. If you don't
tell us where it is, perhaps the Crow

Man can get it out of you. Come, Walter.

Bursal Gummidge, where have you been? I
came back to find the door wide open and

you nowhere to be found.

But, Your Excellency, I can explain
everything.

Bursal Gummidge, what is that head you
have on?

It's the investigating head, Mr.
Crowman, sir, and he put it on so he

track down the gold. He turned up what
got stolen.

What on earth are you talking about?

They reckon I took it, but I never, Mr.

Crowman. Take no notice of him, Your
Excellency. I have made a thorough

investigation of the crime, and there is
no doubt about it at all in my mind

that Bulbous Coliflar is the culprit.

I never stole nothing from no one.

Stop your snivelling, man.

Tears won't help you now.

Now confess, where have you hidden the
golden turnip?

Silent!

Where's old Gummidge? You really have
outdone yourself this time.

Bulbous cannot be guilty of a crime
because no crime has been committed.

I beg to defy your highness.

After all, I was guarding the premises
when the golden turnip got stolen.

You colossal idiot.

I had Weaverly Swee fetch the turnip
while I was at Professor Pike's. While

no doubt, were asleep at your post and
didn't see him collect it.

We think.

Wurzel, your treatment of Bulbis is
nothing short of victimization.

Now, take that head off at once. What's
your order?

Morty, would you be so kind as to go and
get Wurzel's ordinary head from the

barn? Yes, Mr. Crowman. Run away, Mr.
Crowman.

A moment, sir.

Is this really necessary?

I mean, if I'd made a mistake of any
sort, I'd be only too willing to

He did go off on Danny, Mr. Crowman.

Wurzel, get on with it.

I think I shall have to dispose of this
one. It's proved to be somewhat

unreliable. I'm very sorry for any
trouble I've caused, Mr.

Gromancer. But you see, I was just
having a little lie down in that there

for a moment or three.

That's enough.

If you have any apologies to make, you
can make them to Bulbous. He's been

sorely mistreated. Just because I've got
rotten old teeth and can't chomp on

sweeties like the rest of them, they're
always picking on me.

They fear.

Quite so, Bulbous, but I shall try to
make amends for what has happened.

All right, Warty, Wurzel, we're sorry
for what we did.

We hope you won't think any the less of
it.

Nor hold it against us, neither.

Yes, well, I suppose that's an apology
of sorts.

All right, you two, back to your posts.
I've had enough of you for one day. And

my cake, thanks to Wurzel.

Now, Bulbis, you stay here.

I have something for you.

Yes, shepherd Nana.

Fancy all that fuss over a stolen turnip
what didn't even get stolen.

Shut your face, Bertie. I've had enough
tellings off for one day.

Hey, you bulbous collie.

No hard feelings, I hope.

Yeah, we didn't mean to victimise you.
It were an honest mistake, honest.

One of these scarecrow would make. Well,
no. No hard feelings.

As it happens, I've got a lot to smile
about.

Here. What happened to your rotten
old... lampsteads. Crowman removed them.

me a nice new set of pearly white
choppers instead.

Now I can eat as many licorice allsorts
as I like.

That's a fine set of truth and faith, no
mistake.

Have a licorice allsort.

Come on, I do. There you are, Wally.

Yeah.

It's not every scarecrow what will tear
out his licorice allsorts.

He's not such a bad fella, that Bobbitt.

Now, he's a nice fella, all right.

I've said it once, and I'll say it
again.

He's one of the best.

He is. He's one of the best.

Bye.