All language subtitles for Worzel Gummidge Down Under s01e03 Full Employment.eng

Can't be, Mickey.

It can't be walking and talking one
minute and then made out of straw and

and necks. Toss it, Joe.

What's this then? Just tell me if it
isn't straw.

Oi! You put that there stuffing back in
my stomach where it belongs, or I'll

knock the stuffing out of you.

What did I tell you? I said it was
alive. I never said it wasn't alive,

I just said it was made out of twigs and
straw.

You zoom in and teach us it's just as
aggravated as the ones I've come to wait

from. Well, of course I've made it twigs
and straw.

And I'm alive just when I want to be.

Hey, who's this supposed to be?

Who's that?

Who's that indeed?

Shall I tell him or will you?

Don't ask me.

Darnation, donkeys. Don't tell me you
don't know neither.

He's not only aggravating, he's ignorant
as well.

That's his absentee ship, the Crowman,
that there is.

That's not the Crowman. Not the Crowman
what lives here.

No, that's the Crowman what lives there.

The Crowman what lives there where I was
before I came here.

That is eminent, the Crowman, that there
is.

It's evidence what made her worse.

It's the one what breathed me, so I
could walk and talk to her.

I was a real live, walking, talking
scarecrow, quite a bit.

I bet you'll be bummed, Swizzle, if
you've ever seen one of them before.

Bet you we have.

Tons of times.

Bet you have, then. Yes, we have. Dang
me, you can't have done. We say we have.

Lots. We'll show you one now, if you
don't believe us.

Right, Marnie? Right.

All right, then. Let the club show it.

When will you learn it's your duty to
stay put?

Ah, that ain't no scarecrow. That's that
there dark human what talks no more

sense nor would either.

the birds though, isn't he? If he's
scaring the birds, then he must be a

scarecrow. Yeah, but he ain't. He ain't
no proper scarecrow. We said we'd show

you a walking, talking scarecrow, didn't
we? Well, there he is. Well, he

shouldn't ought to be allowed that,
shouldn't humans pretending to be

scarecrows? I don't see why not. If
scarecrows can go around pretending

humans.

Yes.

Well, it ain't fair him doing that.

Taking the cups of tea and slices of
cake out of the mouths of poor old

scarecrows.

Ain't very tall, that, eh?

Shouldn't know to be alive, that little
thing.

Go. You shouldn't... Something's scared
through.

Hello, Aunt Sally. What you doing here?

You don't mind what I'm doing here. Help
me out.

Help you out, right you do.

Right.

Whoops, a carrot top.

There we is.

Hey, Aunt Sally.

Why was you wedged up tight in that
there wheelie thing? Wedged up tight?

I wasn't wedged up tight. I should have
thought even Ingrid Scarecrow could see

the difference between someone who is
wedged up tight and a lady what is

at her ease watching the parade go by.

Parade? What parade's that then, Aunt?
Oh, the military gentleman. The military

gent with the drum. What him?

He ain't no military gent. He's that
there daft human pretending to be a

scarecrow. That's what he is, and a
pretty poor job he's making of it and

There's only one way that I know of to
scare birds proper, and that's you're

supposed to stand up still like this.

I wouldn't be seen dead standing like
that.

I wouldn't be seen dead talking to
someone who stands like that.

Here, Aunt Sally.

Supposing I were to get hold of one of
them grumpy things.

Would you talk to me then, then?

I might.

Who can tell?

Rooney!

Rooney, can you hear me?

I does that, Widow Thurston. I hear you
very well.

Leave what you're doing for now. I want
you to take the trapper to see to.

And will you feed the old pig before you
go?

I'll do that for you, Widow Thurston.
I'll look after the old pig right

Oh,

my God!

like you newfangled weedy thing.

Yeah, I never did like you pesky birds
either.

But at least I knows what to do with
you.

Sir,

you've done it again, Rosal Gummidge.

Very well.

If you won't settle to the employment
for which you were fashioned, I shall

to find you something less fashionable.

Weasel, you really must pull yourself
together.

Go there.

Go there.

Look at that man.

Not like a thing as that to be left
lying around on a public highway.

Walk

off,

guys. Walk off.

Drive it along, Widow Toast, and mind
your own business.

When would you believe it? There's this
enormous great dolly lying in the ditch.

That's no dolly, Rooney. What size of a
child would own a dog that big? I've

been asking myself the very same
question since the minute I clapped eyes

You know where I think it comes from,
Rooney?

The Museum of Folk History at Pewaka
Waka.

Widow Toast, I think you've hit the nail
square on the head. And that's where

it's going back to.

Just as soon as I've washed an eye on
the poor soul's dress.

Well, we're on the subject of wash day,
Rooney.

Have you managed to pick up my shopping
in Seatoon?

I didn't, no.

Mrs. Tewicki says to tell you she's run
right out.

I think I know the very feather that'll
be after having some.

Mr. Crowman, you at home at all?

Sorry about that.

You're no beautian, that's a fact.

How did that happen?

Ah, Mr. Croman, is it yourself?

Yes. You're as stoic as a man has taken
leave of his senses.

You're no more mad than any other paddy,
if that's what you mean. But I've the

distinct impression I've just been
kicked by this funny -looking scarecrow.

I see.

Oh, let me assure you, Mr. Rooney, there
is a simple explanation.

That is a kicking scarecrow.

It has been especially designed to repel
small animals of the field.

Rabbits, weasels, stoats and that sort
of thing.

It doesn't injure them, it simply kicks
them out of the way.

But how can it kick... Secrets of the
trade, Mr Rooney.

Here! You just mind what you're kicking.
I'm not a stoat nor a rabbit neither.

I'm afraid it hasn't taken to you, Mr
Rooney. It's taken to me, all right.

If you'd care to, have a look round my
stock.

Yes, we have a wide range of scarecrow
wear.

The old -fashioned style, sack in
trousers and overcoat.

It's still very popular, particularly
with the older farmer.

Next to it, we have something much more
upmarket for the younger farmer.

Denim. Very fashionable, as you know.
There's a fine -looking garment at that.

Yes, that colour combination has proved
particularly effective.

The starlings won't come within cooey of
it.

Here. What does this one here do? It
looks as though he's dressed up to do

damage to someone. Not unless you happen
to be a seagull.

He's been designed to scare birds on
airport runways and military bases and

places of that sort.

Yes, and here we have a range of
scarecrow parts.

As you can see, I endeavour to use only
the best materials.

Yes, quality manuka, good strong straw,
heart removal for the frame. What do you

call that?

Oh, she's a beauty, isn't she?

I'm very pleased with her. That's my
marine head.

Don't tell me, to scare away the sharks?

Not quite. No, actually, it's to scare
away the shags and gulls from the local

fishermen's nets.

The nose, sir, that's a... Well, yes.

I always try to use local materials
wherever I can.

But you'd get a better idea if you step
outside. I've several examples that

might interest you.

Now.

Is this it, then, is it, sir? Is this
the entire extent of your output?

These are the only examples of my craft
I have to hand, but if you'd like to

come back in a couple of weeks... A
couple of weeks?

Yeah, me.

That'll be a fortnight too late at the
very least.

Saints preserve us.

There's an ugly fella if ever there was
one. You wouldn't want to come face to

face with that fella behind you back on
a dark night.

Oh, no.

A couple of weeks, no use at all.

The widow Thurston asked me to come and
find you, and it's this afternoon she's

after doing her washing. Not a couple of
weeks from now.

Her washing? I still wonder, do you make
enclosed pegs at all?

Clothes pegs? Yeah, you know, them
little wooden peggy fellas that stop the

washing falling off the line. Yes, I'm
well aware of what clothes pegs are,

Rooney, but I am not in the habit of
manufacturing them.

How about a clothes prop, then?

You know, one of them tall, long how -do
-dos to keep the line in the air. Not

that either. I am the Crow Man. My sole
occupation is the ancient craft of

constructing scarecrows.

There's not much call for them
newfangled things round here.

Folk are more inclined to give me a
couple of bob to bash me old drum.

Or they will do when I get it back from
the devil that's run off with it. Well,

I'm afraid I can't help you, then.

Suit yourself.

Only I think you'll find in these parts
a fellow hardly makes a living unless he

can turn his hand to several things.

Good day to you.

Wait a moment, Rudy.

How long a clothes prop exactly were you
requiring?

Well, it ain't fair, your unfairness.

It ain't fair at all.

Well, it ain't fair.

As a genuine scarecrow, Mr. Crowman,
your eminence, not a moldy old clothes

prop. What's your tongue, Wurzel?

There's a great deal of truth in
Rooney's words.

If one has to make a living here, one
must learn how to diversify.

Why must it always be poor old Wurzel
who has to do the desertifying?

If you'd stuck to the task you were
given this morning, Wurzel, you wouldn't

find yourself in this position.

And besides, if I'm to learn how to make
clothes pegs, you shall learn how to be

a clothes prop for this afternoon at
least.

Yes, well, I... I have one more word of
complaint out of you, Wurzel, and you

shall find yourself learning how to be
firewood. And believe me, Wurzel, you

would not like that. You would not like
that at all.

It ain't fair.

It ain't fair one tidgy bit.

Me danged arm's getting numbed already.

Yeah, crow, for a clothes prop.

Certainly makes the ugliest clothes prop
I've ever seen.

Well, I'll be bummed, special.

I'd recognise them clothesies anywhere.

Seems my aunt Sally's clothes is
thoseies.

Can't see that.

Old Wordle's standing out here, holding
his intended clothes up to dry.

Hang on a minute.

If that's my Aunt Sally's clothes, why
aren't my Aunt Sally in them?

I'll knock a pretty head off her
delicate shoulders if I will, walking

without a stitch of clothes on.

I'll take them back to a straightaway.

God dang bums with alarm. I knew it was
getting sort of nummy.

Come here.

You'll be safe.

Where's my Aunt Sally? She must be round
here somewhere.

Aunt Sally?

Aunt Sally?

Aunt Sally, you'd better come out
wherever you are. I've got your clothes

you. Aunt Sally?

Aunt Sally?

You in there?

Aunt Sally?

You in here, Aunt Sally?

Aunt Sally?

Oi, you silly sussy!

What are you doing?

Get away, you piece of piece!

Leave my arm alone!

Get out of here!

Aunt Sally?

Aunt Sally?

Aunt Sally?

I know you're in there somewhere.

Anthony! Shut up!

Oh, you're in there, is you?

Oh, no, I ain't.

And don't you dare go looking through
this there window so you'll know about

I knows why you doesn't want me to look
in through that there window.

Oh, no, you don't. Oh, yes, I does.

Oh, no, you don't, you disgusting
scarecrow. And if you want to go trying

find out, you'll get a plant pot chucked
at your head.

Oh, you wouldn't chuck no plant pot,
poor old...

love you best in the old wild world.

Never touch me.

Here I'm so.

Why was you hiding behind that sofa?

None of your business.

Because you ain't got any clothes to
don, innit? No, it ain't. It is.

You're in your bare wood.

Your name? For your information, Wurzel,
Edward Gummidge, I hint entirely in the

altogether. I happen to be wearing my
unmentionable.

What's unmentionable, then, Sal? If you
don't know, you higger and turnip

-headed monstrosity, it's hardly for me
to enlighten you.

Yeah, well, it just so happens I does
now, see? Because last winter when we

that hard frost, the crow man made me a
pair of unmentionables.

Warm drawers, they was. He made a mat of
old sheep tip -taps.

Is that what you're unmentionable as
it's like, aren't I? Oh, shove off, you

disgusting scarecrow.

You wouldn't talk to me like that. You
see, it's what I've got down here.

Is it a prezzy, Wurzel?

Well, it is sort of prezzy, Aunt Ali.

Only thing is, it's yours already.

It's your clothes' date.

Hand him over!

Say please. Hand him over, Wurzel, Edger
O 'Gummidge, or I'll tear you to pieces

with my bare hands. And then I'll feed
you to Mrs.

Thurston's dumb... That's different.

Here, then.

Come on. Turn round.

There's a horn in it.

I forgot about that.

That's my harm, Aunt Sally, just in case
you was wondering.

And that's my hand at the end of it, and
them's my twiggy fingers at the end of

that. So I'd be very much obliged if
you'd hand it over to me.

Hand it back?

I wouldn't so much as stoop to pick up
the disgusting object up off the floor.

Oh, please, Aunt Sally, please.

I need it, just to make the pair up.

Well, it's been washed, Aunt Sally.

That's what happened to it by that there
farming lady.

And it was been held up to dry by your
ever -loving Wurzel, what was very

honoured and pleased to do it for you.
It is awful, and it pongs like a cow's

shed. No, it don't pong at all, Aunt
Sally.

Well, it don't pong at a cow's shed. It
pongs at the pigsty, perhaps on account

of the fact that I dropped it in the
pig's well.

Oh, don't take on so -and -so. It'll
hardly pong at all by the time it's been

dried out properly.

All you've got to do is hold it out in
front of the... That smoky, crackly

thing, what the smoke and flames comes
out of.

A fire, Wesley.

What's one meaning of fire?

I'd rather you didn't say that word out
loud, Aunt Sally. A big, blazing fire,

Wesley. Oh, please, Aunt Sally, please.

What a good idea.

And there is a fire in here, Wesley.

Only it ain't quite big enough. Is it
not to suit our purpose?

Well, I'd rather you didn't make it any
bigger, Aunt Sally. Not just yet. Not

until I've gone. I can't make it no
bigger, Wortham. Alas, and dreary me.

Because I ain't got nothing to stoke it
with.

Oh, fine.

Bless my pretty little face and delicate
hands.

Just the thing.

A dirty old bundle of straw and twigs.

What a coincidence.

Well, it ain't just a bundle of straw
and twigs, Aunt Sally.

That's my arm, if you like to... Passed
your mind back?

So give it to you. No. Yes.

No. Yes. No. Yes.

Now look what you've done to my arm.

The billy goat's eating it for his
dinner.

Standing in a court of law, I'd swear I
washed and hung that dress out an hour

ago. Am I going mad or something?

Don't answer that, Rooney, or you'll
regret it.

Well, I can't take it to the museum in
that state.

I'll have to do it all over again.

For heaven's sake, Marcia, stop
snivelling.

Oh, beg your pardon, you're magnificent,
but I can't. Of course you can.

Great heaven, you must have suffered
more damage before now than a lost arm.

Yes, but it ain't that, Mr. Crowman,
sir.

It ain't that at all.

You see, I can't blow my nose and wipe
my eyes because the anky's in me

pocket to the side of the one I've got
an hand on.

Am I going to do with you, Herschel? I
don't know, you're magnificent.

I've set you two simple tasks to perform
today and you've let me down on both of

them. There.

How's that?

I reckon she might just as well chuck
the old of me on the bum -bum -bum -bum

and that crackly thing.

Old Wurzel ain't no use to nobody no
more. I've let you down twice.

I've let me Aunt Sally down by mucking
up her pretty frock two times.

What's the most, Mr. Cromancer, two
times or twice?

Aunt Sally, Wurzel, is deserving of
everything she gets.

You're right there, your infallibility.

My Aunt Sally is deserving of the old
wild world.

I wish that the crow -man that
constructed you, Wurzel, had seen fit in

infinite wisdom to provide you with a
memory.

Only an hour ago, Aunt Sally destroyed
your arm.

Well, that's because she loves me, your
affluence, just as I loved her.

I followed my Aunt Sally to the ends of
the earth.

And that's your problem in a nutshell,
Wurzel. And my problem in a nutshell,

too. I must find some way of setting you
a day's work without Aunt Sally

crooking her little finger and leading
you astray. I reckon that's impossible,

your devious death.

I am the Crow Man, Wurzel.

Nothing is impossible.

Leave it to me.

Thank you, Your Eminence.

Yeah, there ain't no need to take on so.

Being a Scarecrow is something you can
be proud of. Once you get used to the

idea, that is.

It's why some of my bestest friends are
Scarecrows.

Soggy Boggart, Jolly Closetay, and the
old pal Darth Dead, Sergeant Beatrice.

All of them is Scarecrows. Every man's a
Scarecrow. And there ain't one of them

I know who's ashamed of it.

Shut up, you loathsome object!

You love it, Aunt Sally?

Out in the open air all day with no
pesky human standing around chucking

balls at your head?

Covered in bird droppings. That's
because you ain't got the hang of it

You have to shout and holler at them
every now and then so they doesn't take

disadvantage of you.

Go on, get out of it, you dang pesky
vermin.

Go and find another paddock to peck at,
you pestiferous poopy.

I wouldn't so demean myself for a dutch
in this rat... Oh, yes, you would,

aren't you, Danny? Come on, now. All
together now with old Wurzel. Get out of

here, you dang pesky barmy!

You're finding out a kind of depression,
you pesiferous princess!

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