All language subtitles for Two.Mules.for.Sister.Sara.1970.Remastered.1080p.BluRay.x264-OFT_Legendas01.ENG

♪♪

I got it! Oh, look at that!

Look at it!

Please let me go!

I'm first!

Please! You're Christian
men! How can you do this?

"Christian men"? ♪ This is
the way we go to church ♪

♪ Go to church
Go to church ♪

♪ This is the way
we go to church... ♪♪

The party's over.

You men can get movin'.

Hey, I don't know who you are,

but, uh, why be a hog, man?

She can handle four of us!

We also got some mighty fine
whiskey here. waitin' for ya!

Besides, uh...

Now what are you gonna do,
you bastard?

You may get me, but you sure as
hell ain't gonna get any part of
her!

Unless you like to have
your fun with a corpse!

You keep standin' around like
that, the sun's gonna burn the
hell out of ya.

They told me
they were gonna kill me.

They told me they were gonna
kill me so I couldn't report
them.

They told me...

Well, they ain't
tellin' you much now.

So get dressed, hmm?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

You're a good man.

All my life I will pray to the
Virgin to protect you from harm.

Jesus Christ.

And I will also pray
that for all your life...

you have what you desire.

What the hell's a nun
doin' out here?

I'm on a mission.

In Mexico, a nun can travel
safely among murderers and
thieves.

I could've avoided these men,

but instead I came
to ask for food.

They give you any?

No.

Well, there's probably some
leftovers there. I couldn't eat
just now.

Well, you look like you could
use a shot of whiskey.

Whiskey?
Thank you.

- Your mule?
- Yes.

No provisions, no canteen?

Just how'd you figure
on existin'?

I was confident
the Lord would provide.

Three more like them?

He also provided you.

Which way you headed?

North.

North, huh?

Well...

I'm headed south, so I'll just
help myself to those ponies and
be on my way.

But first we must
cover them with stones.

We can't leave without giving
them a Christian burial of some
kind.

After the way they treated you,
you feel they've got it coming?

Of course.

You gotta be
touched in the head.

Do you have a shovel?

Sister, raise your eyes
to heaven.

Are they or are they not
God's creatures?

Of course they are.

Well, why do you want to rob
them of all this convenient
nourishment?

Do you have a shovel?

Yeah. It's on my packhorse,
over the hill.

Then would you get it
and cover them, please?

For the sake of my soul,
if not your own.

Sister, I don't mind
shootin' 'em for ya,

but I'll be damned if I'm
gonna sweat over 'em for ya.

You're as stubborn
as my mule, you know.

Of course.

How are the blisters?

Other things in life
have hurt more.

Thank you, brother.

It's Hogan.

I'm Sister Sara.

Well, Sister Sara,

you ever get tired
of bein' a nun,

you can look forward to bein' an
A-1 gravedigger, that's for
sure.

You'd better have
some of these beans.

Those fellas weren't much in a
fight, but one of 'em wasn't a
bad cook.

I couldn't eat anything they
cooked, but I'll have some of
your water, please.

Yeah.
Help yourself.

Thank you.

You really are touched! You give
that back to me, please.

Sister, you wanna bless 'em,
you bless 'em dry.

I've obliged you about all I'm
going to, Sister.

And now I'll say good-bye.

You stay out of that sun, now,
you hear? You're gonna really be
in trouble.

Good-bye.
Thank you again.

God go with you.

Hey, you're in luck. Looks like
a French cavalry headed this
way.

You can probably
travel along with them.

- Please help me. They're looking for me.
- Why?

I was raising money for the
Mexican army, and they found
out.

I had to run in the middle
of the night. Please!

Phew.

Lady, if you weren't a nun,
I'd let you save your own bacon.

All right. You do
as I say and act fast.

And get rid of that cross.
It shines like a mirror.

You bring that last horse
and follow me.

Son of a bitch.

What are you doing?

I'm doing for you what no Holy
Virgin's in any position to do.

Hah!

We'll walk slowly...

so as not to stir up the stream
bed any more than we have to.

Why did you put that
dead man on the horse?

Because a horse with a rider
makes a deeper print...

than a horse without a rider.

If we're lucky, the French'll
follow those ponies.

Here. Eat this.

I told you to eat
something back there.

Your stomach keeps growling like
that, you'll have the whole
French army on us.

You know these little noises can
only be heard a few feet away.

Why are you so angry
with me? What have I done?

Well, maybe a nun
ought not be so good-lookin'.

The way I look
is of no importance.

I'm married to our Lord,
Jesus Christ.

That's exactly what
I'm steamed up about, Sister,

if you'll pardon my bein' frank.

I'm not offended, Brother Hogan.

Oh, don't "brother" me.

Excuse me.

They split up, damn it,
and they're catchin' up.

I wouldn't
just sit there. Move!

We can't outrun 'em,
but you can get in there.

When it comes to shooting, I may
not get all of 'em, but I will
get their attention.

You wait a bit,
then head out the other way.

You've been a wonderful friend,
Mr. Hogan. Go with God.

Leave him out of this, huh?
Get movin'.

I can't go in there.
Why not?

There's a rattlesnake in there.

Keep singin', partner.

Get that mule in here.
Here.

If we get split up,
this'll make good eatin'.

Well, well.

Too bad nuns don't play
poker. You'd be sharp at it.

There's no way I can thank you.

I suppose you'll be
starting south now.

Nah, it's gettin' too close to
dark. We'll have a hot meal
first.

Can nuns cook?
I do.

Good.

And your late gentlemen friends
donated some beans and coffee.

But first, I'll, uh,
scratch up some firewood.

It's hard to believe that
rattlesnake could taste so
delicious.

Mmm. Here.
Ladies first.

Thank you.

You say you were headed
north. Any particular place?

I wanted to try to find one of
the Juarista bands. I'll be safe
with them.

Where were you
coming from? Chihuahua.

Chihuahua?

You live there? Mm-hmm.
For several years.

French garrison at
Chihuahua. Mm-hmm.

Right next to the church.

You wouldn't, by any chance,
know how many soldiers in the
garrison?

More or less, you know.

About 200 and some cannon.

How do you know all that?

The French officers wanted
to learn to speak Spanish,

so my mother superior
assigned the task to me.

I also speak French.

I went into the garrison
three times a week.

I hate them.
Oh, how I hate them.

Ain't it a sin for nuns to hate?

Not if it's something evil.

The French army killing and
torturing the Mexican people,

trying to force them to become
one of their colonies... I hate
them.

How big is the garrison?

Two stories. Years ago
it used to be a monastery.

It's one of those kind of
buildings with an open patio?

Beautiful patio... A balcony
around the top floor?

A staircase leading
down? That's right.

You say it's next to a church.

How far apart are they, exactly?

Well, I don't know exactly, but
in some places not more than 10
or 12 feet.

When you're on the roof
of the church,

is the top floor of the
garrison higher or lower?

Lower. Much lower.
Mmm.

Sentries? Day and
night at the front gate.

Sister Sara,

you're gonna slow me up some,

but I'm gonna take you to one of
those guerrilla bands you're
lookin' for.

Do you belong to one of them?
Till I get paid, yeah.

Paid?
You mean, in gold?

Well, let's put it this way.

They pay me off in tortillas,

I'm gonna shoot 'em
right in the eye.

But the Juaristas are
too poor to hire anybody.

Well, I made a deal to work
out a plan to take the garrison.

If it pays off, then I get half
the French treasury.

And you don't have any
sympathy for their cause?

Not theirs or anybody else's.

See, I spent two years
in a war in the States.

Right now all I'm
interested in is money.

If money is all you care about,
then why did you fight in that
war?

Everybody's got a right
to be a sucker once.

- Mr. Hogan.
- Hmm?

The 14th of July
is a French holiday.

By noon of that day last year,
the entire French garrison was
drunk.

- What's the date today?
- July the sixth.

Beautiful.

That information puts gold
right in my pocket.

This calls for a drink.

Well, I'll be leaving you
for a few moments.

Well, be careful
not to go too far.

There may be another rattler.

I'll pray as I walk.

I'll keep my back turned.
Don't worry.

You are a real gentleman,
Mr. Hogan.

Guess you haven't had much
experience sleepin' on the
ground.

Oh, I'm very tired.
I'll sleep.

For somebody who's wore out, you
sure got a happy look on your
face.

It was a miracle you found me
when you did, Mr. Hogan.

Oh, that was no miracle.

Just an accident.
Life is full of 'em.

No. It was a miracle.

Yes, ma'am.

Two men are ridin' along
side by side.

A bullet ricochets off a rock,
kills one of 'em, doesn't kill
the other.

Just an accident, that's all.
No miracle.

Then you believe
there are no miracles.

Well, um, now, you take
that fella this morning.

If he could've picked up that
stick of dynamite and thrown it
back at me...

before I shot him,

now, that would've been
a miracle.

Nice to hear you laugh, ma'am.

You think nuns don't laugh?

I don't know. I never spent
the night with one before.

Good night, Mr. Hogan.

Thank you very much again
for everything.

Hey. Wake up, Sister.

Time to get movin'.

I'm so stiff.

Oh. I'm not accustomed
to riding like that.

Would you please help me up?

Oh! Thank you.

Oh, every muscle is aching.

How can I possibly
ride again today?

Well, I ride
from sunup to sundown.

You either keep up,
or you don't.

You'll feel better when you've
spent a few hours on your mule.

You make very good coffee.

A man on his own
has to take care of himself.

So you're not married?
Nope.

Ever been?
Nope.

- Want to be?
- Nope.

- Don't you want a woman of your own?
- What for?

Share your name, bear your
children, be a companion.

To ask me to quit drinkin',
quit gamblin',

to save my money and to bitch
about her aches and pains all
day?

- No, thanks.
- Must be a lonely life.

It's a great life.

Women when I want 'em,
and none with the name of Hogan.

How about you, ma'am? Haven't
you ever wanted to be a whole
woman?

Have a man make love
to you? Have children?

I've chosen
a different way of life.

What about when you get those
feelings that your God gave
every woman,

including you?

I always wondered about that.

Well, we're human, of course.

When we get those feelings,
we pray until they pass.

In your case, Sister, just how
much prayin' does that take?

What about before you became
a nun? Did you ever have a man?

No.

Ever been kissed by one?

No.

Haven't you ever laid awake at
night wondering what it'd be
like?

No.

All the women I've ever met
were natural born liars,

but I never knew about nuns
till now.

You're right.
I lied.

I'll say one thing, Sister...

I sure would've liked to
have met up with you...

before you took to
them clothes and them vows.

That limp's gettin' worse.

Stone-bruised.

Take a week for that to heal up.

Well, maybe the people
in this village...

will hide you out until
this animal comes around.

W-Why couldn't I ride
the packhorse?

'Cause he carries
my equipment, that's why.

I ain't about to miss bein'
in Chihuahua on the 14th.

- Please, Brother Hogan... -
Look, I told you not to
"brother" me!

All right, Mr. Mule.

You know, you were right. You
are as stubborn as my
mule.

When we get up to that village,
Sister, then I'll say adios.

This is where we part company.

- Now what are you doin'? - I
must say a prayer at this
shrine.

You said your prayers last night
and this morning. You're gonna
wear 'em out.

It's a sin to pass a shrine
without praying.

Not if you shut your eyes,
it isn't.

Please, Mr. Hogan.

All right, it's a small shrine.
Let's make it a small prayer.

Buenos días, hermana.

You see, Mr. Hogan,
what a little prayer can do?

The Lord provided me with a kind
gentleman who accepted my
mule...

in exchange
for this creature of God.

Now I can still be with you.

Your mule for that burro?

Well, if that kind gentleman
traded you even,

you won't be meetin' up
with him in heaven.

Gracias.

This man lives
in the hills there.

Three hours ago, on his way to
the market, he passed a French
patrol.

Which way were they headed?

All right.

Get the supplies we need
and move out.

Gracias, señor.

I want you up in that tree.

What tree? Why?

Please, Mr. Hogan.

Looking down from heights
frightens me. Then look up.

I think there's a mountain lion
around here, and I want you up
here.

Excuse me, Sister.

What are you doing?

If you can't see 'im,
you can't shoot 'im.

How you doin', Sister?
Looking up.

Good.

We won't talk now.

I'd like him to make his run,
if he's going to.

What the hell?

Come on.
Get down from there.

Turn around.
I'll catch you.

Huh? What'd she say
about Santa Maria?

They're running away from
the French soldiers at Satevó,

waiting for a train
for Santa Maria.

Santa Maria's the town
I'm headed for.

Those Juaristas I have that deal
with are hidin' out there
somewhere.

You gotta find out
why the French are goin' there.

All right.
You can be sure I will.

All right. Satevó's a long way
away, so let's get some sleep.

Muchas gracias, pobrecitos.

By the way, Sister,
I guess I owe you an apology.

When I was tryin' to get you
up the tree there, I...

Oh. No apology is necessary,
Mr. Hogan.

In emergencies,
the Church grants dispensation.

Anyway, it's no sin that you
pushed me up the tree with your
hands on my ass.

Where'd you learn
that kind of English?

- What kind?
- "Ass."

Oh, I-in the convent.

Sister Harriet taught us
different words for different
parts of the body.

This part she called the ass.

Where is this Sister Harriet
from, anyway?

New Orleans. Why?

I'd sure as hell like to know
what she did before she became a
nun.

Viva Juárez!

Felipe.

Viva México libre!

Felipe!

Asesinos!

Asesinos!

Asesinos!

Asesinos!

I'm sorry.
I don't understand.

Please. An officer is dying.
Come with me, please.

Even though
you are not a priest,

you can give him
some spiritual comfort.

Our colonel is very, very ill.

We deliver this soul unto you,
Mary, mother of God.

You filthy bitch!

Kiss the cross.

Sister, uh, he was delirious.
You must forgive him.

I-I forgive him.

I forgive him with all my heart.

Goddamn it!

I don't see how you
can drink this stuff!

You're gonna get cockeyed
drunk. What happened down there?

I was recognized.
That's what happened.

By who?

I've never been so frightened.
I had visions of being shot.

Who recognized you?
What'd he do? He died.

What the hell
are you talkin' about?

I was asked to give spiritual
comfort to one of the colonels
who was dying of fever.

When I saw him,
I nearly fainted.

He was one of the officers I
taught Spanish at the fort in
Chihuahua.

Oh, thank God none of the others
believed what he called me.

What did he call you?

A filthy Juarista.

All right,
so he died and you're safe.

Now, what did you find out?

They're waiting for a train,
due today, for Santa Maria...

so they can load it
with supplies and ammunition.

Well, you did all right, Sister.

Between here and Santa Maria
there's gotta be a gorge.

Where there's a gorge,
there has to be a trestle.

Now all we gotta do is make sure
we get there before the train
does.

Will you burn it? I'll blow it
to hell and gone with the train
on it.

Come on, get up. You're gonna
have to ride, else I'll have to
leave ya.

I am not intoxicated.

Well, you oughta be. That's a
hell of a lot of whiskey before
breakfast.

My faith in God
will turn it to water.

We'd better hurry.

I've never seen a train
blown to hell and gone before.

Get out of my line of fire,
Sister.

Can you kill them all
with one pistol?

Put it away.
These are Yaquis.

They're wild and pagan, but the
Church has reached some of them.

Can you get on your horse?

I-I think so.
I think so.

Then tell me when you're on it.

You'll have to stop that when
we get closer. Are you on?

I'm on.

♪ Yes, I killed a man one day ♪

♪ So they say ♪

♪ I beat him
on the head ♪

♪ And I left him there
for dead ♪

♪ Yes, I left him there
for dead ♪

♪ Damn his eyes ♪

Oh, you got the moss.
Yeah.

That'll stop the flesh
from putrefying.

What shall I do with it?

I'll take you through it
step by step.

First I gotta
get drunker than I am.

How much time has passed
since I got hit?

You asked me that
10 minutes ago.

And what was your answer?

About an hour.

All right. I want you to cut a
groove in the shaft of this
arrow,

just deep enough for
a good pinch of gunpowder.

Gunpowder?

Gunpowder.
That's right.

That'll cauterize the inside,
they tell me.

I don't know if this arrow's...

Near my heart.

I don't think so. Of course,
some women say my heart ain't
exactly...

In the right place.

All right. Start cuttin'.

And don't worry
if I yell a little bit.

Come on, my beautiful Sister,
who saved my damned life...

From those damn Yaquis.

You don't want me to lose
my deal, now, do ya?

Mmm. Mmm.

Ohh!

All right.

♪ And the parson, he did come
He did come ♪

You know, this ain't
such a nice song, Sister,

but it's the only one I
know well enough I can sing
drunk.

I don't care what you sing.

You've got a beautiful
character, you know.

Anyway, it's about a Protestant
parson, not a Catholic one.

♪ And the parson, he did come
He did come ♪

Mmm!

♪ And he looked
so bloody glum ♪

♪ As he talked
of kingdom come ♪

♪ Well, he can kiss
my ruddy bum ♪

♪ Damn his eyes ♪

Mmm.

I need another bottle.

More whiskey.

That's the last bottle you got.

The last one.

Oh, that's bad news, Sister.

I'm sorry I can't share
any with you,

but you gotta have
a steady hand.

♪ Well, the sheriff
he did come too ♪

♪ He came too ♪

♪ Yes, the sheriff
he came too ♪

♪ He came too ♪

♪ Oh, the sheriff
he came too ♪

♪ With his men
all dressed in blue ♪

♪ Lord, they were
a bloody crew ♪

♪ Damn their eyes ♪

- I'm finished.
- That's not bad. Not bad.

That's right. You're
married to a carpenter.

Now what?

Cut the shaft off right
there.

Cut?
Yep.

♪ Now it's up the rope
I'll go ♪

♪ Yes, it's up the rope
I'll go, up I'll go ♪

♪ And those bastards
down below ♪

♪ They'll say,
"Sam, we told you so ♪

♪ Sam, we told you so" ♪

♪ Damn their eyes ♪♪

May I break it?
Mm-hmm.

All right.
How much time's gone by?

Over an hour.

That damn train.

That train's on its way.
I know it is.

Remember what I told you
about accidents?

We didn't have to run across
those damn Yaquis,

but we did.

No miracle.

Just a rotten, lousy accident...

that's gonna cost me
my whole deal.

Get me up straight.
Get me up straight.

Oh.

You are a beautiful woman,
Sister Sara.

You feel like a beautiful woman.

You smell like a beautiful
woman. Please, Mr. Hogan...

I can't help thinkin', you know,

that first time I saw you,

when you were almost naked...

You must forget that.

I can't forget that, Sister,
my beautiful Sister.

I don't want to forget.

Every night, when we bed down
next to each other,

I think of you that way...

and I... and I wanna
reach out and touch you...

and hold you and feel you.

I forgive you because I know
that if you weren't drunk,

you wouldn't be talking
this way.

Maybe so, but you can't
stop a man from wishin'.

I sure wish you weren't a nun.

Please, Mr. Hogan.

All right.

Give me some gunpowder
out of my saddlebag.

Don't come near me
till I tell ya.

Pour some in your hand...

and leave the pouch there.

Fill the groove.

Fill in the groove.

Oh.
That's fine.

All right,
now comes the hard part,

'cause we gotta
time this perfect.

As soon as I light the powder,

you drive the arrow through me
and pull it out the other side.

What do I hit it with?

Take the knife.

Put the flat part
over the end...

and hit it with the gun.

And please, Sister Sara,

please hit it a straight blow,
not a glancing one.

What if I don't hit it straight?

Oh, then,

my beautiful Sister,

the arrow will break off
inside me.

Now, I know you're
an A-1 gravedigger, but...

All right, all right.
What do I do with the moss?

You plug the holes.

Both sides.

Push it in about a half inch.

All right.

One last swallow,
and it's up to you, doctor.

Are you prayin' for me?

Yes.

Well, then I must be
drunk enough,

'cause, damn my eyes...

I find that kinda touching.

One last thing, Sister.

The powder's gonna flare up when
I light it, so watch yourself.

Now you can load up the animals.

We'll be on our way as soon
as you get this stick out of me.

Ready?

Mr. Hogan!

Mr. Hogan. Mr. Hogan,
remember the train.

The train with the French
supplies. You have to blow it
up.

How long since I been hit?
Hours.

- What?
- You fell unconscious.

Why didn't you wake me up?

Well, I thought you... You
thought! You thought!

The hell you thought!
You let me down, Sister.

You let me down.

Then why don't you
get on your horse?

My head's spinnin'.

Whoa.

You're too drunk to ride alone.

I'll have to get on with you.

Hold on to the mane.

Lean back against me.
Lean back.

Tell your horse to get moving.

Oh, I like bein' in the arms
of a good-lookin' nun.

How do you like it, Sister?

The Church allows this
for the sake of your safety,

but you may not take liberties.

Will you look at that trestle?

Couldn't be sweeter.

It's a miracle.

Great place for an accident.

Is this small package of
dynamite powerful enough?

Not if you put it
down here at the base.

But if you put it up high
on those braces... pow!

How can you climb that
trestle with your shoulder...

Oh, no.
Oh, no, Mr. Hogan.

Now, wait a minute. Wait a
minute. No.

Remember, I saved your life.
I saved yours today too.

Well, I saved yours twice from
the French. Remember that.

I saved yours twice.
Remember the arrow?

What are you gonna do? Are you
gonna desert me in my hour of
need?

What about
that deadly rattlesnake...

when you were hidin'
from them soldiers?

That was easy.
That was no risk at all.

Did I or did I not come to you
in your hour of need?

Now, this is my hour of need!

Well, just what kind of need
is your need?

All you ever have
on your mind is money.

Well, what's more important
than that?

My life. If I climb that
trestle, I'll fall.

A fine, psalm-singin'
hypocrite you are!

The French are gonna slaughter a
whole outfit of your Juaristas,

and you're the only one
who can help 'em,

and you won't climb
one lousy, stinkin' trestle.

That's right, Sister.
You lean on it.

A little of that good,
old-fashioned Christian faith...

will carry you up there
like a bird.

I know you're scared, Sara, but
those braces are easy to climb.

You just keep thinkin' of all
those Christian lives you're
gonna be savin'.

Have faith in that
wonderful, shiny cross,

and God and all those saints
will be right up there with you.

Suppose they are with me
as I climb.

You haven't yet told me how
you'll set this off when I
get...

Let me worry about that.
I'll do it with my rifle.

You get going, for surely,
that train's on its way.

Keep goin'.

I want the dynamite
all the way up on top...

so I can get a clear shot at it.

That's it, Sister.

You're entitled.
You certainly are entitled.

But I never did see anybody
get used to hard liquor so fast.

I wanna take a few practice
shots, without ammunition.

You turn around
and face the bridge.

Come on.
Turn around.

Ah.
Just like that.

Now, when I tell you to,

I want you to take
a deep breath and hold it.

Come on. Grab the end of
the barrel. This ain't easy.

Take your fingers
off the top of it.

All right, now,
take a deep breath.

Hold it.

You wouldn't have hit that
dynamite. Yes, I would've.

No, I saw the end of the gun
move when you pulled the
trigger.

Look, I'd have hit it. Put out
your hand. Let's see how steady
it is.

Oh, you're still drunk. You'll
never hit that. I'll hit it.

Put a bullet in it and let's see
if you can hit something about
the same size.

All right.
That little rock over there.

Over there. That little rock
on top of the big rock.

Let's see if you can hit that.
It's the same size.

You cock this for me.

Just pull down that lever as
hard as you can and slam it
shut.

This?
Yeah.

Perfect. All right.
All right. Turn around.

Now, take a breath.

No!

Well, cock it again.

I guess we'd better try it with
you sittin' and me kneelin'.

Go ahead. Get down.

This ain't easy now.

All right.
Take a breath.

- Um, can you shoot?
- No, I can't shoot!

- And you made me climb that
thing for nothing! - Now, take
it easy.

Just wait a minute.
I'm soberin' up fast.

Meanwhile, you fix me
a cup of hot coffee.

I'll fix you some hot coffee!

Sober up! You sober up, you
dirty bastard, or I'll kill ya!

Sit up!

Now, tell me when
to hold my breath.

Dear Mary, Mother of God, help
this no-good atheist to shoot
straight.

Take a breath.

Take a breath.

What did I tell ya?

Did I or did I not
hear you call me a bastard?

Well, I suppose whiskey can make
a man hear anything.

Oh, dear Lord, forgive him for
the impurity of his thoughts.

Ah, there's the cantina
I'm lookin' for.

I may need your help. Is it all
right for you to go into a
saloon?

In times like this... The
Church grants dispensations.

I know.

Buenas tardes, señor.
Buenas tardes, hermana.

¿Habla inglés? Yes,
I am speaking English.

Good. Good.
Tequila.

Oh. Would you
like something?

Uh, do you have lemonade?

Sí, hermana. I'll have a
lemonade.

You're going to get
drunk again, are you?

Oh, I never get drunk
unless I'm shot by Yaquis.

Then why the tequila? Just gonna
oil up my arm, Sister, that's
all.

I don't think they've seen a
nun in here for quite some time.

Not one like you,
that's for sure.

Gracias.
Hey.

Sí, señor. Any of these
men in here speak English?

- No, señor.
- You sure?

- Sure. Me only.
- Good.

Well, I'd like to order
a bottle of French champagne.

Year 1789?

French champagne, 1789.

What is it, señor?

What's what?
This champagne.

Is there another El Gato
Negro saloon in this town?

Mm-mmm. Are you
the owner of this one?

No.

Well, who is? Mi padre.
My father.

- When does he get here?
- Psst. Psst.

Por favor, señor.

That's swell.
That's my luck.

They give me a code, and the man
who has it isn't here.

He'll probably show up
on the 15th of July.

Mr. Hogan, you should be happy
you're still alive.

Where the hell's your father?
Señor, he is
sick. Enfermo.

It's important that I see him.
Where is he?

Since three days now, he cannot
talk. All this side no move.

Does he understand you when you
talk to him? Sí, señor.

- Does he understand English?
- Not so good like me.

But... my mother,
she with him.

Un momento. Madre!

He no can speak.

May we see him?

Please to come.

Francisco.

Can you understand me, señor?

That mean yes.

I need a bottle of French
champagne. Year 1789?

I must see
Colonel Beltran at once.

Can you take me
to where his camp is?

What about your son?
Can he take me there?

Well, does anybody in this town
know where the camp is?

The candle maker.
She says the candle maker knows.

Now we go that way.

How far, Horacio?
Not far.

Put away your gun, gringo.

Name's Hogan.
Beltran's expectin' me.

You mean Colonel Beltran.

Colonel, General. What
difference does it make? Take me
to him.

I have been waiting
for you, Hogan.

What happened to you?

Oh, I stopped a Yaqui arrow.

- That means you never got to Chihuahua?
- Yep.

Sister Sara here saved me
a good part of the trip.

Sister? How?

Is my deal still on? I
keep to my word. And you?

Good. Get me
a bottle of tequila,

and I'll lay you out a plan as
smooth as a baby's behind.

You tell me the plan. I
will tell you how smooth it is.

The roof of the garrison is
lower than the roof of the
church.

And on the 14th of July, you
have promised us, Sister, all
the Frenchmen will be drunk.

Not bad, Hogan. Not bad.
Thank you, Sister.

Yeah, we make quite a team.

If we pull this off, we might
just go into the garrison
business together.

Right, Sister?

If we follow what you did to the
train by capturing the garrison,

all of my people
will take heart.

How many men do you have?

Forty, but there will be more
by the time we reach Chihuahua.

How many more?
Fifty to 60.

I thought you were a colonel
in the Mexican army.

I am.

Any army I ever heard about, a
colonel commands a full
regiment.

Yes, in a parade, but not after
all the fighting we've been
through.

You know, when you
got me into this thing,

you told me
you had no artillery.

- What about dynamite? You have any of that?
- None.

Less than a hundred rifles, a
few machetes, and not much more.

Even drunk, the French are
gonna blow your heads off.

You don't know my men.

Each one of them... tough,
courageous and a Mexican
patriot.

Hmm.

Isn't that sweet?

But I happen to be a Hogan
patriot, and I'd like some
dynamite workin' with me.

I will welcome all you can get.

You show me the tree that it's
growing on, I'll have my men
pick it.

Probably plenty for sale
across the border in Texas.

Yeah, but that takes money.

Even the food you ate and
that bottle were donated to us.

Bien. We leave
for Chihuahua tomorrow.

You can come with us and fight
under my orders, my way,

or go back to that Texas bar
that I found you in.

I'm in on this deal, and no son
of a bitch is takin' me out of
it.

If any other bastard
spoke to me like that,

he would be dead.

But since you
have helped Mexico,

I'm giving you the chance
to get on your horse...

and leave this camp alive.

Now get out of here fast.

I ain't leaving here.

Colonel, please.

This ring. It's gold.
It'll buy dynamite.

Perhaps some of your people have
other things that could be sold.

If someone will show me
the way back to Santa Maria,

I'll go from house to house
tonight, begging for help.

Dynamite would save the
lives of some of my men.

I told you I was stayin'
in this deal, Colonel,

'cause you know that nobody over
in Texas is gonna sell a load of
dynamite...

to a Mexican.

I am asking you,
buy dynamite for us.

I'd love to.

Oh, Sister.

You better sew this back on.

I don't wanna have those people
see you goin' around half
dressed.

This is better than
killing each other, no?

I only figured there
was gonna be one funeral.

Catholic.

Oh? I didn't know
that you were Catholic.

Hogan.
Hmm?

Easy, Hogan. There are no Yaqui
arrows here. Just a nun.

How'd you do?
I'm not sure.

You're not sure? You must know
if you've got somethin'
worthwhile.

I just don't know how
much it'll bring in Texas.

You don't?

This'll buy enough dynamite
to give my horse a rupture.

You did real well
for me, Sister.

Uh, for the cause.

Maybe... Maybe this will
buy you a bottle of medicine...

to keep your arm well-oiled.

Can you give this?
I want to.

I like you better as a Juarista
than as a nun, little Sister.

Well, I'll just...
see you in Chihuahua.

Right.

If we take the fort, we'll owe
ourselves a celebration.

I might even put a little
whiskey in your lemonade.

Mr. Hogan, there's something I'd
like to talk to you about.

They're bringing your horses
now. Oh, fine.

My packhorse has some
handguns and some Winchesters.

I'm sure you'll know what
to do with them. Gracias.

They're nothin'. Just a gift
from some old friends of Sister
Sara's.

- Could we talk, please?
- I can't, Sister.

I need every second
to get where I'm goin'.

Where are we gonna meet up?

Just outside of Chihuahua, as
you're riding south, there is a
little church.

Be there as early as you can
on the morning of the 14th.

Good riding.

Don't let those French spend
that money before we can get
there.

Good-bye, Sister.
Good-bye.

- Hello, Mr. Hogan.
- How do, Sister?

- Glad to see you back safe.
- Waitin' for the dynamite, huh?

Mm. And you.

On me personal?
Mm. I missed you.

Yeah. To tell you the truth,
it's felt kinda wrong the past
few days...

not havin' your burro
slowin' me up.

- Did it?
- Yeah, damn it.

What's the matter?

Well, you see,
there's a problem, Sister.

I should've never met up
with you in the first place.

Come.
Beltran's waiting.

Where have you been, Hogan?

There are only a few
more hours of daylight.

Well, I had to go to three towns
to get it, but I've got all the
dynamite we need.

- Plus plenty of cigars.
- Ignacio!

- My men will be leaving for the
church in a few minutes. - How
many men do you have?

Over 100.
Let us go.

The garrison is on that side.

They must be drunk already. I
don't hear any singing like last
year.

Hogan.

Nobody's drunk.
Nobody's even drinkin' there.

You got your calendars mixed up,
Sister. No, I didn't.

It is their Independence
Day. July the 14th.

What went wrong? It
is the train you blew up.

It put them on the alert. To
attack now would be suicide.

- Surprise is impossible.
- Wait a minute.

Without the element of surprise,
I will never attack superior
forces.

Instead of giving up so easy,
why don't you just listen a
minute?

I am listening to you,
but I have my mind on my men.

All you have on yours is money.

Listen, I think I know how
we can get a surprise.

Three streets from here, there's
a house. It used to be the
residence of the bishop.

To protect him in the rainy
season, there was a tunnel.

It led from the house to the
garrison when it used to be a
monastery.

And after the bishop moved, the
monks built a wall closing it
up.

- I think you can break through.
- Who lives in there now?

- Very good friends of mine.
- Trustworthy?

Yes. Very trustworthy.

Good. Then I got
something that'll work.

- What?
- Fire.

Hey, when you were givin'
those Spanish lessons,

did you ever get a peek at where
they kept the garrison money?

They used to pay me from a
strongbox in the general's
office,

second floor, in that building
right over there.

Yeah, was it iron or wood?
Iron.

Great. That means
it won't burn.

Now, I figure we separate
your men into four groups,

givin' 'em coal oil
and dynamite,

and let the first group
hit that main gate.

Have the second group go through
that tunnel she's talkin' about
and bust in the courtyard.

And the third group
hit that gate over there.

And the fourth group, made up of
your best riflemen, we'll have
right up here.

They can pick off the sentries
and set fire to the top of the
garrison.

Of course, this all has
to happen at the same time.

First we shall wait for
the cover of night. All right.

And second,

some women and children carrying
a piñata filled with dynamite...

might get close enough
to that front gate.

What's a piñata?

It's an old Mexican way
of livening up a party.

Come, come.

♪♪

Sarita, baby!
Rosanna!

You're safe.
They didn't get you.

They didn't get
my favorite girl. No.

Sister Sara, this here's a
cathouse. Oh, no, Hogan.

This is no cathouse. This is
the best whorehouse in town.

Day and night, night and day,
out there in that desert.

You made a sucker out of me. I
didn't want to. You forced me
to.

What the hell are you talkin'
about, I forced you to?

What's the first thing you said
to me when we saw the cavalry?

If I wasn't a nun,
you'd let me save my own bacon.

And then after I told you
about the garrison,

you said if I wasn't a nun,
you'd just as soon say "adios"
and "thank you."

Well, I wanted to be with you. I
wanted to be safe.

I tried to tell you that night
at Beltran's camp, but you were
too busy to listen.

Well, what are you lookin' so
surprised about, you no-good
atheist? Move.

It could be, you know,
I've saved your bacon... again.

Hogan.
The piñata.

Got the coal oil?
Yes.

Have them put this thing against
the building outside the gate.

How long a fuse
are you putting in?

Approximately 30 seconds.
That'll give 'em enough time to
get on down the street.

They are going to be women and
children, remember.

Any longer fuse might be seen.

Just don't make the children too
young or the women too old. And
tell them not to trip.

Hogan, the tunnel is open.

My men will have them free.

I can't budge it.

If we use dynamite,
the element of surprise is gone.

They'd have to open the trap
door if they had another
prisoner.

The French want me very badly.
Why don't you turn me over and
ask for a reward?

Está bien.

Even though they
don't put you in here,

it will get Hogan
inside the gate.

It is a chance
to open this door.

I don't like it.

We'll find another
way. What other way?

I don't know.
Let me think about it.

- There's no time to think about it.
- I still don't like it.

We have to get that trap door
open too, don't we?

You know what you're
talkin' about's crazy, Sara.

Listen, Hogan, everybody's
got a right to be a sucker once.

How can we be sure we hit 'em
from different directions all at
the same time?

I will put a man
in the belfry of the church.

As soon as he sees you and
Sara entering the garrison,

he will ring the bells
three times.

The women with the piñata will
start up the street at a slow
walk.

So from the time you enter
the gate and the bells ring,

it will be, uh, four minutes
till the explosion.

Slow 'em up. Make
it six. Bien. Six.

All right, let's go give
a Spanish lesson.

Hold it.

I don't know how this is gonna
come out, but I owe this to
myself.

We better go.
Bad time for a war.

Bad time.

Anybody in there speak English?

Oui, monsieur.

What is it you want
here at this hour?

I have somethin' out here
I think will interest you.

Oui, monsieur?

Oh, my God. It's Sara.

Entrez. Entrez.

Come on, you little cottontail.

Well, the general himself
will want to meet you.

- Un moment. - Oh,
Captain, - uh, wait just a
minute.

Uh, now, I've... I've just about
had a belly full of this little
"Ju-arista."

She's been yappin' at me
for three days now.

If your general wants to
socialize, that's up to him.

But I'd just as soon have her
locked up while I'm talkin' to
him.

I'm sorry.

Entrez.

They're gonna place
that piñata right outside.

When I give you the signal,
you get ready to move.

Boy, this little cottontail sure
does wish she had that cross
back.

Come this way, if you please.
The general will see you now.

Excuse me, monsieur, but I'm
certainly not laughing at you,

but, uh, at this... this
costume.

Come to think of it, we shall
have to shoot you dressed like
that.

Uh, well, General, uh,
now, I understand...

that, uh, raisin' money for the
Mexican army is a crime.

So is shooting a
lieutenant. Hmm?

Did that bastard die?

Yes, the lieutenant died,
and you will too.

Monsieur,
I am General Le Claire.

Uh, well, my name's
Hamilton, General.

Tex, to my friends.
How do you do, monsieur?

How come you caught this
little pigeon for us, eh?

Well, you see, I have
this spread up north,

and, uh, in rides this nun.

♪♪

♪♪

And when I heard that,
I said to myself,

"Tex, you just gotta haul her
on down here and turn her in."

You know, I hate
them damn "Ju-aristas."

Do nothin' but cause
me trouble all the time.

Why, they got my Mexes layin'
around just prayin' for
independence.

And you didn't know we had
posted the reward? A reward?

- 200 gold francs.
- Well, how about that?

Certainly better than a stab
in the eye with a sharp stick.

Well, why don't you just go
ahead and lock her up and then
send me on my way?

Lock her up?
Oh, no, no, monsieur.

Condemned prisoners are entitled
to a last night of relaxation.

Wine or cognac, Sara? Cognac. A
full glass, please.

Anything my sweet-tempered
little pigeon desires.

Uh, Colonel, please,
bring 200 francs.

Oui, mon général. Ah,
Monsieur Hamilton... Uh, Tex?

Well, make mine smaller than the
one you poured her. I'm just a
country boy.

To your virtues,
and especially your vices, Sara.

Ah, what a pity
to bury them both.

♪♪

Excuse me, Monsieur Hamilton.

A people who know how to sing,
the Mexicans.

- Are you familiar with that
melody, monsieur? - Can't say
that I am.

Ah, Las Mañanitas.

For birthdays and weddings
and whatnot. Lovely.

♪♪

My, how touching.

They know it is our independence
day, and they come to toast us.

- Do you know what a piñata is, monsieur?
- Can't say that I do.

Come and see.
A charming invention.

They build a figure, usually of
an animal, made of papier-mâché,

with a clay jar hidden
in the center of the body.

They fill the jar with candies,
nuts and fruits and small toys.

And then they suspend it
from the limb of a tree.

♪♪

Well, that's real cute.

Viva México!

Viva México!

Come on.

Over here.

Get back to the house and
pour yourself another cognac.

Oh! Mon Dieu!

Where's Sara? Last
door. Hall left. My room.

Sara, open up.

I'm takin' a bath.
Well, get out of the bath.

Will you go away
and come back later?

I wanna be
all dressed up for you.

Who the hell
wants to see you dressed?

The least you can do
is take off your hat.

I haven't got time for that.

Oh!

Come on.

♪♪