All language subtitles for The Royal s03e06 Famous for a Day

I need someone in my life. I need a girl
to hold me tight.

Someone to make me feel, make me feel
alright.

Somebody help me, yeah.

Somebody help me now.

Won't somebody tell me what I've done
wrong?

Did you hear me say that?

Did you

hear

me say that?

Oh, there, Dr Goodwin, higher, right in
the corner.

Lizzie, I'm supposed to be in casualty.
No, but I can't reach.

Oh, Mr Harper, you look just like one of
those great train robbers.

Dr Goodwin, there's a man outside who
needed medical attention if you couldn't

tear yourself away.

You see, I knew you'd get me into
trouble.

I'll be for a minute.

Oh, I love Christmas, don't you? No, I
do not.

Oh, Mr Harper, that's a terrible thing
to say.

Hang on a sec.

Good morning, the Royal.

Sorry, say that again.

Tiny's... Tiny's Television.

Right, if you just hold on, I'll have
to, er... I won't be long.

Is the people off the telly?

What's he, Mr Middleditch?

Ah, here comes the holly.

Look at the berries on that little lot.
Excellent, excellent.

Right, Ken, where do you want it?

Well, not there for a start. Sister
Bridget might get the wrong idea.

Mr Hopkirk, as if I dream of such a
thing. Oh, Mr Millie, thank goodness

been looking everywhere. If you go to
your office, I'll put you straight

through. Steady, Lizzie, steady. Slow
down.

Yeah, but they've been holding on for
ages and it must be important, mustn't

Or they wouldn't ring.

Oh, it gave me such a shock. I nearly
dropped the phone.

Who are we talking about, Lizzie?

The people off the telly.

I mean... Ever got the one?

Yes, that's what I mean.

It's a pretty large haematoma.

And soft.

I wonder if there's any sexual damage.

Do we have a name for him?

Ray Piper.

Hello, Mr. Piper.

You've had a pretty nasty crack on your
head. How did you do it? Do you

remember? How?

Do you want me to phone anyone for you,
Mr Piper?

Let them know where you are.

Do you have family, Mr Piper?

Um, x -rays and keep them in for ops.
Yes, and, Jeff, I'd probably get Mr Rose

to have a look at him, just to be on the
safe side.

The television, Mr Middleditch.

Yes. A special Christmas item on the
early evening news.

It's a great honour.

And the thing is, sister...

They're going to be filming in Milner
Ward.

Milner? That's right.

Oh, no.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Well, I'm afraid it's already been
decided.

No.

Oh, no, I really couldn't have men with
cameras swarming around all over the

place, not on Christmas Eve.

It'd completely spoil it.

Sister Bridget, it's a very short
programme.

Well, think of the disruption.

And it wouldn't be hygienic. Oh, come
now.

I'm sorry, Mr Middleditch, but it
wouldn't. I mean, where do these

people come from?

Newcastle, I think. That's a very dirty
place. They could bring in germs of all

sorts. Oh, what nonsense.

Germs, mud, noise.

Could they not film somewhere else, like
reception?

We want to use one of your wards,
sister, because we want to show the

that it's most festive.

And nobody does Christmas better than
you now, do they?

We shall need a tree at the front of the
hospital, Mr Middleditch. A big tree,

20 feet at least.

Mr Harper, this is not Trafalgar Square.

And I'm afraid our Christmas budget will
not stretch to that. Then it must be

made to stretch.

Senior people from the District Health
Authority will be watching this

programme. Could really put it on the
map.

Well, that's him done.

Sliding across the ice, broke the sound
barrier, crashed into a boloid.

Have you got time for coffee?

No, no, no. I think I'd better plough
on. I've got a chap waiting for me.

Thinks he may have swallowed a glass
bauble.

Oh, come on, Gordon. Life does have its
funny side, even at Christmas.

Yes, well, that's it, I suppose.

Christmas.

I'm not really in the mood this year.

Well, you'll soon go into the swing of
it.

Will I? Yes, once you're with the
children.

Look,

Joe, I'm sorry, but, um... You do know
how I feel. Right, where's this patient?

I haven't got much time. Astrid is like
a war zone. God knows what people get up

to at this time of year.

Join the club. How many have we had
today? I hate to think.

Uh, three cases and...

fractured from sliding on the ice,
broken arm from putting up a Christmas

several post -party alcoholic
poisonings, and a man who mistook a

biscuit. And my mystery head injury, if
you'd like to come this way.

Did you think I was invited to a house
party in Scotland?

Guess what, everybody?

We're going to be on telly!

Why ever did I say no?

No fracture to the skull, but
significant swelling.

Skin cold and clammy, has vomited. Do
you know if he lost consciousness?

No.

Well, how did this happen, Piper?

He can't remember. Come on, old chap.
I'm a busy man. Did you fall? Something

hit you?

Yes, sir.

A turkey.

A turkey?

Well, it were a big one, Doctor. A 30
-pounder.

I see. And how did the turkey come out
of this encounter, dead or alive?

Oh, no, no.

It were frozen.

Well, Doctor Goodwin, it seems that your
patient has been concussed by his own

Christmas dinner.

And do you remember how this largeish
but nevertheless frozen bird came to

attack your cranium?

How did the turkey come to land on your
head, Mr Piper?

It was thrown.

By?

My wife.

That explains it.

Wives always get like that at Christmas,
Piper, I wouldn't fret.

Keep them under arms for 24 hours.

By which time the turkey would have
defrosted and the domestic danger

Now then, Cousin Kenny, get them lights
out.

Mr. Stanway's got eyes in the back of
his head this time of year.

Keep your voice down.

This is Alan.

Yeah, he knows that. We need to be here.

The other three are over there.

Alan.

I might have a bit of news for you that
might interest you.

You know how you love your telly? Yeah.

Well, they're making a telly programme
at the hospital.

Blimey, when?

Christmas Eve, so I'm going to need
another tree for the outside.

A 20 -footer.

Oh, no, Kenneth, I can't do that.

Come on, you've got to.

Harper's insisting.

Now then, ladies, let's start with
number 35, the Holly and the Ivy.

And this year, we're going to be on
television, so we've got to be in tip

form.

All right, Lizzie, let's have a note,
shall we?

Mr Harper?

I thought I had to join you to swell the
numbers.

But, Mr Harper, we don't have men.

Exactly. That's why I'm here.

Good, good, fine. Let's just carry on,
shall we? Number 35.

The holly and the ivy When they are both
full grown Of all the trees that

are in the wood The holly bears the
crown Of the rising of the sun And the

running of the deer The playing of the
merry orchid trees Singing in the choir

That should do it.

Oh. Don't forget your promise.

I won't.

I'll be telling Mum mine.

Yes, Albert.

Oh, heck, it's Mr. Stanway!

Oh, Stanway's here!

Get out of here!

Come on. Quick!

So, er, what's this promise to Cousin
Albert all about, then?

Oh, that, yes.

Well, hey, look at that snow.

Yeah, I know.

Know what this means, don't you? No.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

Yeah, and I'm dreaming of a quiet one.
Just like the ones I used to know.

We can't possibly have Mr. Harper in the
choir.

No, he's quite dreadful.

I'll have a think.

How's that, Mr. M?

It's going to look fab, isn't it, Mr.
Middleditch?

I dare say.

Whatever fab means.

Off you go, Lizzie.

How are we going to pay for it?

I have not the remotest idea.

Well, Ken said we've got it for nothing.

Really? Some sort of barter arrangement,
I gather.

I see.

Oh, no.

Straight away.

Terrible.

Doctor, I'm wrong!

Ah, later.

Find this tailor for me, will you,
please? There's been a drowning incident

at Maltby, and I'll need to take her
with me.

Yes, of course, Doctor.

We haven't got any outside lights, I'm
sure we haven't. Yes, we have. We've got

some for the coronation.

The coronation? Aye, and I'd better know
where they are, too, exactly where I

left them.

We might have stopped shelf, but...

Who is it? Do we know?

No.

He's still in the water.

Let's just get there, shall we?

If we can.

Had a good night's rest, did he? Yes,
Doctor.

Well, it hasn't gotten any bigger.

So can I go home?

Not until Mr. Rose has seen you again.

You have to be so careful with head
injuries, Mr Piper, especially if you've

concussion. Mr Bridget.

Excuse me.

Are you sure you don't want me to phone
your wife? No.

Thanks.

No, no, no, Alan. I've told them I've no
spare beds, not until after dinner.

You'll have to take them back.

What, to the storeroom?

I beg your pardon? To casualty, Alan.
For goodness sake, wake up, will you?

Sister Bridget, could I have a word?

Of course, Matron. I've been looking at
the nursing roster over the holiday

period. Is there anything wrong, Matron?

Not as such.

But you seem to have put yourself down
to cover rather a lot of shifts.

So many of the other nurses have
families.

They need a little more time with them
around Christmas.

Well, that's a very kind thought, but
surely he'd like some time off. I'm

happy with a little extra work.

Nonetheless, I think perhaps I should
insist.

Speaking frankly, Matron, I have to
confess I'd rather spend the holidays

than back at the convent on my knees.

Very well.

I found it.

Okay. No pulse or respiration.

Pulse dilated and unresponsive.

How long has he been under the water?

Twenty minutes.

All right.

How old is he?

He's eight.

His name's Peter.

This is Mr. Thomas, his dad.

Okay. Ready?

Five to my one.

One, two, three, four, five.

One, two, three, four, five.

Thomas, don't leave the doctor to it.

He's dead, isn't he? We're doing the
best we can.

Look, let's get out of here, all right?
Come on, let's go.

Can you provide us with an escort,
please? He's dead. Why don't you just

it? Come with me. He's dead, Thomas.
There's nothing wrong with me.

You'll see him at the hospital.

You all right?

Carry on.

Nothing. Keep going.

But if he was in the water for 20
minutes... Keep going. Just, please,

going.

One, two, three, four, five.

One, two, three, four, five.

Come on, pull this up.

Put a shovel in there.

Any contact Constable Ventress on his
radio? Because if the ambulance is going

to be held up, we'll need to send a...
All right, Sergeant Merton, I'll hold.

No!

I need the toilet!

Nurse Beaumont?

Why is that patient parked there?

I don't know.

I think Alan put him there.

Well, for goodness sake, see to him. For
a start, take him to the toilet.

Yes, Sergeant.

Any news?

They've got the ambulance moving again.

He should arrive at any minute.

Thank the Lord.

I can't help thinking if he's been under
the water that long.

If anyone can save him, it's Dr Almirot.

Yes.

Right, Alan, full heat. Let's get this
room warm.

Five. One, two, three, four.

Steady.

Holy man. Let me take over from you,
Doctor.

One, two, three, four.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Can anybody pass it?

No. Oh, God.

There's still a chance.

His cold body temperature must be right
down.

Cold water drowning?

Yes. Look, things are still on our side.

The water was extremely cold and the
lad's very, very small. Well, yes, OK,

even if we do manage to get him going, I
get cold. If he cooled down quickly,

then the brain would have been
protected. And if there was an air

underneath the ice, then he may have
been taken in oxygen.

Yes, if.

Yes, if.

And that's what I'm going to assume.

Sit down here.

There we are.

Nurse Beaumont, fetch Mr Thomas a cup of
tea, will you? Hot and sweet. But I was

just... Immediately.

Please.

You're right, sir.

If I pull the phone over...

You can give your wife a call, Mr
Thomas.

She needs to know.

She'd want to be here.

One, two, three, four, five.

One, two, three, four, five.

Very slight response.

Yes, and his colour's definitely getting
pinker.

How long was he under the water?

Twenty minutes.

And how long since he was taken out?

One, two, three, four, five. Forty
minutes.

There have been cases in both Canada and
Norway where they've been able to...

Yes, yes, Gordon, where victims have
survived 30 to 40 minutes underwater. I

know in cold water drowning, the
mammalian diving reflex can protect the

organs, particularly in the case of
young children, if the body can be

resuscitated. Yes.

Which brings us up against the time
limit.

One hour is the maximum time we try for,
after which... Good, then that gives us

another 20 minutes, then.

One, two... I'll get out of your way,
old chap.

Keep it up.

Come on.

I'm not giving up. One, two, three,
four, five.

You're not leaving him, are you?

Well, there's a man in the toilet.

Come, come, Samantha. That's not the way
we do things.

Sit with him.

Hold his hand.

Mrs. Thomas?

Where's Peter?

I'll take you, my dear.

Come on, hey.

You've got to be strong.

Let's see what that is, shall we?

That's Mum and Dad in there, is it?

Yes.

I think it might be kind of to prepare
them for the worst.

Yes, Mr. Roth.

How is he?

The doctors are doing all they can, Mr.
Tomlin.

There's still no pulse.

I'm afraid not.

The thing is...

And this is so very hard. There is a
time limit.

What do you mean?

Normally, in a case like this, we work
for about an hour.

And then what?

Well... You give up, is that it?

We haven't reached that point yet, and
we're all hoping against hope that we

won't, but I wanted you to be prepared.

He's a very sick little boy.

Oh, my dear.

Excuse me, Matron.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Can't you see I'm in the middle of
something, Alan?

I'm sorry. It's just that someone left
this old man in the toilet and I don't

know what to do with him.

Nurse Beaumont. I haven't forgotten him.

It was just... Kindly deal with him at
once.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Gordon, it's been well
over an hour now. Yes, I know.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Maybe we've done our best. Maybe we
ought to. No, another ten minutes,

You've already had another ten minutes.
And I've told you I'm not giving up.

Stop.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Over an hour.

I'll just go and see.

Pizza. Pizza.

He must be a very strong little boy.

Thank you.

Your name, sir.

Name?

Matron.

Yes? I've just tried the police.

No report anywhere in the area.

No missing of men whatsoever.

Well, keep trying.

And ask one of the doctors to take a
look at him.

Yes, Matron.

Should you not be off duty, sister?

What, and have someone else nursing my
little boy?

No. Try this day if you don't mind.

Hello, Peter.

You're all right.

You're in hospital.

You had an accident.

Oh, Peter.

I'm here.

Oh, yes.

Of course he will.

Hello, Peter.

Let me just feel your forehead.

Good.

Good. Can I have a word?

Of course.

Will they be all right?

Well, the main danger is pneumonia, of
course, but... No, no, I mean...

Will there be brain damage?

No.

No, no, he's fine.

It's, er... Well, it's an extraordinary
phenomenon, really.

If the water's cold enough and the child
is young enough, then everything just

seems to... shut down.

Like a deep freeze.

Sort of.

So, will he pass his 11 -plus, then?

Ah, no, that is, er... another thing
altogether.

Just be not to Milner to have a quick
look at your head injury. He can go home

tomorrow. And this is the old fellow, is
it?

Yes. I can't find much wrong with him,
apart from a couple of bedsores.

And?

A degree of malnourishment.

Whoever's been looking after you haven't
been feeding you enough, have they, old

chap?

Milk. And two sugars, please.

Good. Well, I must away.

Mrs. Rose's yuletide soiree tonight. And
if I'm not home soon to mull the wine,

my name will be mud.

Good night, Rachel. Good night, Mr.
Rose.

If you want my advice, what this chap
needs is one, a walking frame, two, a

hearing aid, three, a good long bath.

See you later, Samantha.

Yes, Uncle.

Has Colonel Potter left yet, Major?

Yes.

So we do have a free bed.

Mr. Harper wouldn't like it.

Well, talk.

That chocolate will hold me.

I fancy waking a man up to give him a
drink to make him sleep.

That's hospital all over.

I'll have an Horlicks.

You've got a new neighbour, Mr Piper, so
make him welcome.

Very good.

Dad?

Dad!

Tale in a Christmas shop. And when
Matron pulled the curtains back and

his own daddy in the next bed, and when
he heard about his wife leaving him

there and everything, he just went mad.

Absolutely crackers.

Shouting and bawling, disturbing the old
ward.

So where is he now?

At home, I suppose.

Killing his wife.

Well, that's what he said he were going
to do.

Blimey. Still, at least we know who the
poor old chap is now.

Mr Piper Senior.

Funny, name rings a bell.

Of course it does. We used to live up
the road from us, don't you remember?

Susan Piper, blimey!

She was in my class and everything.

I wonder what happened to her.

She left home, had a big bust -up with
her mum, apparently.

I wonder if she knows about her grandad.

Look, Lizzie, they're a rough lot.

Don't go interfering.

Mrs. Piper? Yes?

I'm Dr. Goodwin from the hospital.

Is your husband home?

Only he walked out earlier against
medical advice. I need to see him.

Bog off!

We fancy you finding me, Lizzie.

Yeah, well, I had to ask around a bit.

Well, it's great to see you.

Thanks for telling me about my grandad.

Oh, it's all right.

I'm sure he'd like a visit.

Yeah, well, we'll see, eh?

OK, well, luckily you seem fine.

The main thing is to rest.

Rest? Him?

He does not want rest. That's enough,
woman.

He never licks a bloody finger.

his dad?

Oh, well, that was the other thing I
wanted to come and see you about. I'm

having him back.

You will if I say.

I won't. I want a proper Christmas for
once.

He is coming back here. Ray, I'm at the
end of my tether. I can't cope with him

any longer.

Right, well, I'll fetch him all myself
then. You dare. You dare bring him back

and I'll... Why, you what?

Throw another frozen turkey at me.

Don't tempt me. Look, now, why don't we
try and take things calmly? You can turn

that ruggy thing down and I'll... It's
no louder than your telly. All I want is

a bit of peace and quiet for Christmas.

Aye, and you're going about it the right
way.

Shut up. All right.

Now, perhaps we might be able to keep Mr
Piper in for Christmas. Hey, don't you

shout at your mother like that, Lionel.
You do all the time.

I'll be in touch.

Any of that pre -recorded?

Imagine if you asked me.

Yes?

Sorry, can you move?

I can't have anyone parking there.

Excuse me.

I need that space for our presenter.

I said, I need that space for our
presenter.

My word.

Are these the people from the
television?

Yes.

Extraordinary. Mr. Lamar's very fussy
about his parking space.

Quite extraordinary.

Could you move these things, please? I'm
trying to get my patient back to bed.

Okay, George, light's this end.

Keep your voice.

Mr. Piper, you're doing so well on that
frame, it's quite remarkable.

Where else is there?

Swiped from the stores at Ashfordly
General.

Least 50 ,000 miles on the clock, but
it'll do for now.

That's marvellous, Mr. Rowland. I
thought if we put the choir there, with

tree behind. Oh, yeah, I mean, it's
tight, but... Yeah. Wait a moment.

Oh, the curtains.

Strike with them back, yeah.

Do you mind if you pull your curtains
for a sec, love?

I most certainly do.

Cameras and lights and cables absolutely
everywhere.

And guess who's coming to do the
interviews?

Lenny Lamar!

He's really great, yeah?

Mr Lamar's arriving.

Oh, Lord Ponder, he's coming. I'll have
to go.

Now, come on, sir. I'm afraid you're
going to have to let us look.

I had a rough guess, seeing as I always
come from an office party.

What happened?

How have we got into a fight with a man
from accounts?

And he's a little bit shy about letting
us have a look. All right, well, may I

have a look?

Ah,

well, looks like the man from the camp.

Might have bitten off more than he can
chew.

Doctor, where do you want that, please?

Oh, roll on, boxing guy.

It's just as bad, isn't it?

Well, at least I looked on Christmas.

Ah!

It's all been backwards!

I can't look!

All right, I'm sure it's just the spray.
We'll see you when you come back from x

-ray. All right.

I could have told you that was a pipe,
but just from the racket.

What happened?

Fell down the stairs?

Oh, don't tell me. His mum was at the
top at the time.

You know, that's the third member of
that family we've had in as many days.

more, we're going to have a full set.

Hello. I am Suzanne Piper, Mitzi, me
grandad.

It's a miracle, sister.

A blessed miracle.

I could hear a pin drop.

Well, I wish I could, Mr Piper. With all
this going on, I can't hear myself

speak. Oh, do be careful.

I'm sure you should go back to bed.

Peter, why don't you turn the volume up
a bit? I didn't quite catch that.

Oh, not that much. And you, Peter, back
to bed. Come on.

Suzanne?

I don't believe it.

Who's this?

Little Anthony, your great -grandson.

Oh, my word.

Oh, come here, the both of you.

Call me Lenny, Mr Middlerush. Everybody
does. It is just terrific to be here.

Such a privilege. OK, where do we start?

In the ward with the little boy. Good,
that's really great.

Don't help her, in case you need it. And
my correct title. Thank you very much

indeed. Can we come back to you on that?
That's really terrific, thank you very

much. Fine. Now, let's talk about the
news. We go back to the newsroom, then

come back after ten minutes for part
two, is that right? Yeah, with the

OK, let's take a look at what's going
on.

Mr Lamar?

Yes? Could I have your autograph,
please?

Oh, yes, of course.

Can you put it for Lizzie?

Yes, Lizzie.

There you are. Thanks. OK, see you
later.

Ah, er, now then, Mr Harper.

Um, look, about the choir.

Yes?

I'm afraid we're going to have to lose
you.

Oh?

Because during the broadcast, somebody's
got to bring in the presence.

And being such an important job, Matron
and I naturally thought about you.

Will it be on camera?

Oh, yes.

Interviewed? Absolutely.

That's why we have got to have somebody
that we can trust.

I see.

But... I thought the press... Good chap.
I knew you'd say yes.

Yep, staff, aren't you pretty enough?

Thanks, Ken.

Best know you're long, though. They're
starting that telly programme in Milne.

You don't want to miss your big moment,
do you?

No.

What's the matter?

I was just having a moment thinking
about David.

It would have been his first Christmas
here.

Our first Christmas.

I'm missing Ken.

I know you do, love.

I know you do.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, you don't have to apologise to me,
you know.

I'm always here. You need a shoulder to
cry on.

Thanks, Ken.

Come on.

Let's go and get you on the telly, eh?

This way, please, Mr Lamar. Hi,
everybody. Just relax. Where do I stand?

Stand by next to the PC Ventress,
please. Can we have you by Peter's

please, straight away?

Right, quiet.

If we can all assemble down here,
please.

To me.

Brilliant. So great to see you. I can't
thank you enough.

He's going to come and live with us.
It's all decided.

Betsy, please.

Fantastic.

Perhaps it were a blessing in disguise,
Mr Piper, being dumped like that.

Shh. Being what?

Nothing. Sorry, shouldn't I have said?

Dumped, did you say?

She meant no harm, I'm sure.

Mum? Bye, Mum.

Oh, Lord. Where?

What, she left you here?

Susan!

I'll kill her, I will. I'll bloody kill
her!

I'll be back later.

Susan!

Oh, dear.

Did I put my foot in it?

So, Comfortable Ventress, you were the
first person on the scene on that

terrible day.

Yes. It must have been a very harrowing
experience.

Yes, it was.

How do you feel now?

Well, as I said to my wife, Mrs
Ventress, It's a bit of a miracle,

It's a bit of a miracle. It was a
miracle.

I'd just like to take this opportunity
to thank the hospital for saving my

life. Thank you. Terrific. This is the
best hospital in the world.

Good, good, good. This is my shocking
luck.

Father Christmas is coming tonight.

Father Christmas certainly is coming
tonight, but let's talk to Dr Omarod. Dr

Omarod, what happened when Peter was
lifted out of the water?

I don't know where I am because Sister
Bridget sent him a letter.

Yes, Peter, I certainly did.

And if you're a good boy and don't peek,
I'm sure he'll fill up that stocking

with lots of toys.

And to think that this lovely wee boy,
who's so very nearly drowned, is going

have a happy Christmas after all, and
his mum and dad, thanks to our

doctors, especially Dr. Omrod, who was
an inspiration to us all and wouldn't

give up hope.

Well, it's simply the most wonderful
thing altogether.

And to see Peter happy is the best...
Christmas present any of us here could

wish for.

I don't know what came over me. Super,
sister, super terrific.

Join us in ten minutes for more
festivities from the royal afternoon

Great television.

Well, but you just stay there. What?

Come along, Mr Harper.

It was all agreed.

Yes, but nobody told me how to dress up.

Quickly now, they'll be ready soon.

I am not appearing in front of the
nation in this. I shall be a laughing

No, you won't. Because once you get this
on, no one will know who you are, will

they? Two minutes.

Come along, Mr Harper, come along. All
you have to do is to go in there, say,

foo, foo, foo, just like that, and put
the presents under the tree.

Off you go, quickly, easy.

Okay, everyone.

Act naturally and don't look at the
camera.

Quiet, please.

Five seconds.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Welcome back to the Royal, where we're
awaiting the arrival of a very special

person. Yes, it's Santa Claus.

Santa Claus, welcome with your bag of
goodies for the lovely patients.

Father Christmas.

Ho, ho, ho.

Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho, indeed.

Well, you've got a very busy night ahead
of you, but we've got to ask you a

couple of questions, haven't we, Father
Christmas? So where have you left those

reindeer of yours, eh?

Eh?

On the roof.

On the roof. Very good. On the roof.

Very good, Santa Claus.

Come, Peter.

He's just pretending.

Yes. I don't like that man.

I'm so sorry, Mr Lamar. I've no idea who
he is or how he got in. Don't worry, Mr

Middlerush. We adore him. In fact, one
of our crew members has been talking to

him and I think we're going to interview
him on tomorrow morning's Christmas Day

special. Really?

Well, yes. He's a woodsman.

The name of Albert Hopper has some
terrific stories about people pinching

Christmas trees.

I see.

So what was it like being a telly star?

Look,

I'm going to be off now until Boxing
Day, so... Merry

Christmas?

Something like that.

We've got another Piper in casualty. A
Mrs. Norma Piper.

Claims she's been beaten up.

Oh.

Right, well, I'll be right along.

Jill, uh... Merry Christmas, Jill.

Come on!

The more, the merrier!

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish
you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry
Christmas!