All language subtitles for The Royal s01e03 Coffin Fit

I need someone in my life. I need a girl
to hold me tight.

Someone to make me feel, make me feel
alright.

Somebody help me, yeah.

Somebody help me now.

Won't somebody tell me what I've done
wrong?

Steady past six?

Breakfast at six. Teas at half past
four.

I'm not spending all my day in the
kitchen. I've got pigs to feed.

I said not to pull them right across,
didn't I?

Sorry.

There are places to go.

What are you doing out of bed?

I was thinking of going for a five -mile
run. I'm looking for me clothes.

Your clothes are quite safe with me.

Look, all I needed were a good night's
sleep. I'm as right as rain now. Well,

right as I'll ever be. I'm sure Dr.

Omerad will be delighted to hear that
when he does his ward round.

I'll be back before then. I've got to go
to the station to collect something,

and he can't wait. I'm sure it can.

But if needs be, Mr. Hopkirk will fetch
it for you. I'm sure he will. You see, I

won't be long. No, you won't, because
you're not going.

Come on, Mr. Greengrass, back to bed.
You don't understand, sister. Back to

Look, all I want... Back to bed.

Oh, Joey, get down.

He's all right.

Tea's in the pot.

You don't have any coffee, do you?

What's wrong with tea?

Nothing. Thank you.

When you finish, you can wash up.

Hot water, zinc kettle.

Morning.

Morning.

Sister Bridget said something about a
package.

Yeah, yeah. Look, I want it brought
straight back here because I'm not

to let it out of my sight.

I'll see what I can do. I'll make it
worth your while.

No, you don't have to do that.

Mind you, I might have to pay some more
petrol money.

Yeah, I thought you might.

Look, I've only got this for him,
because I had a bit of an attack on the

and then I had another one on the train,
so I wasn't able to go to the bank. But

if you take it round there, they'll
watch it change it.

There's only one thing about the
package. I think it best if...

Nobody else knows about it, you know,
because it's a bit, well, personal.

Trust me.

You sound like a doctor.

What on earth is that?

Obviously not the Beatles.

Hold on.

Good morning, Doctor.

Were you in pain?

No, I was in the bath.

I, uh, forgot where I was.

You are in the bathroom that's reserved
for use by patients.

That's why there's a sign on the door
saying, Patients' Bathroom.

Sorry, Merchant.

The digs I ran last night were like
something out of the dark ages.

I smelled like I'd spent the evening in
a pub and then slept in a chip shop.

Well, I'm sure you've had more
experience with that than I have.

I also came across a rather fine
specimen of C. mex lectularis.

In that case... Start now, Taylor. We'll
take the appropriate action.

Excuse me.

I didn't recognise you without your
stethoscope.

Look, if you're looking for somewhere to
stay, talk to Ken Ock.

Oh, I did.

That's how I wound up at Coke Unplugged
Farm.

Any other suggestions?

Well, I should avoid mentioning bedbugs
to Matron, even in Latin.

She's got a bit of a thing about them.

Shall I take those to the laundry for
you?

What?

Well, you've got a change, haven't you?

Enjoy your bath.

Let me down with this.

Oh, dear.

I think you might need a bigger trolley.

Come in.

You wanted to see me?

Oh, yes, indeed I did.

Come in, come in, come in, come in, come
in.

Please, sit down.

Well...

I've spoken to Jim Alway.

And he won't be coming back for some
time, I'm afraid.

Possibly not at all.

Oh, dear.

I did wonder when I visited him.

He didn't look well.

No.

I thought you'd like to know as soon as
possible.

So, that's one more of the old guard
gone.

Not many of us left now.

Oh, I'm part of the old guard, am I?

I'm sorry. I have a taxidermy.

I should have said longer -serving
members of the staff.

I'm not sure that's much better.

Though I suppose I am the longest
-serving.

Next to you and Dr Alway.

I'll miss him.

We all will.

Right, Elisabeth. OK.

Right, this way.

Oh, heck!

Oh, Alan!

Oh, you've knocked the end of it.

It's a coffin.

Well, I can see that.

What's going on, Ken?

Oh, a patient up on Milner, a Mr
Greengrass, asked us to pick this up

station. It's a coffin.

Well, your patient may leave here in a
coffin, but they don't usually arrive in

one. Get an undertaker to deal with it.

But Mr Greengrass asked us... I'll deal
with Mr Greengrass.

Do you want me to phone the undertakers?

Let's not be too easy, OK?

This green grass has got a wad that
thick.

Yeah, but Mr Middleditch... Yeah, Mr
Middleditch doesn't have to know, here.

Plenty more where that came from.

You see, the trouble is, Mr Middleditch,
that my sister's dying wish to come

back to Yorkshire, and I promised her
faithfully that I'd actually stay with

her. Well, I'm sorry, but we can't keep
the coffee in here.

Oh, you're worried it'll frighten away
some of your customers.

It's hospital policy.

I'm not even sure what the legal
position is. I've got all the papers,

from Barbados. I've got the death
certificate and everything. Well, the

has in her suitcase.

This is North Yorkshire, Mr Greengrass,
not the Caribbean.

We do things differently here, I'm
afraid.

I'm sure you do. But when Isabel were on
her deathbed, I mean, she begged me not

to leave her side until she was buried
six foot under Yorkshire soil.

Well, I'm sure she'd understand that
things have changed since your illness.

And I promise you that your sister is in
safe hands.

Right,

we'll leave it here till we know what's
what.

Keep yourself still, mate. You'll be all
right. OK.

Can we strike back for the other thing?

Well, they look pretty bad. Won't be
long.

Come

on,

try again.

Get the door open.

No, it won't. The fire brigade will be
here any moment.

Well, we'll have her at any time.

OK?

Nurse Hopkirk, can you bring the
telephone over for Mr Greengrass?

I've got to make arrangements for my
sister's funeral.

Were you close?

Yeah, on and off.

More often than not. But you know they
say blood's thicker than water, but

you'll probably know about that being in
the trade.

Sorry, ma 'am. Good morning.

Doctor,

your lights are up.

There's a flag only in a cemetery.
What's that like?

Fifty. What do you mean, not one?

No, I mean, it's right by the dock. It
stinks.

What have

we got here?

Trash out in the acidly rose. There's
Laurie in the car.

What about the other car?

That's his daughter.

I'm waiting for the brigade to cut him
out. I'm going back for him. What sort

injuries? I don't have to say. Well,
that's not bad. I could go in and see,

No, no, no, no. It'll be me, really.

Why? Well, after what happened on your
first day, I don't think that's very

fair. This time I'll have the right
equipment.

Oh, yeah.

Doctor! Look, I need to deal with this.

Go on.

But call if you need any help.

Mr Middleditch wants a take to the
undertakers.

Look, what if the undertakers sort of
make the arrangements, but Isabel can

stop here just for a bit, you know, so
she feels I'm Andy if she wants out.

I know what I mean, spiritually.

I know it's going to cause you probably
a bit of trouble, mate, so I'll tell you

what.

Look, let me make it work, if you want.

Here you are, mate.

Just hope I don't lose my job.

Prepping family circumstances. She can
stay for 24 hours.

Thanks, Ken.

You've got a big heart.

Mind, there's plenty of room for it.

I'm afraid

it's me again.

I'm a real bad penny. Are they still
trapped in the car?

Yes. Can you do anything for the lass?
She's in a real bad state.

What's her name?

Carol. She's 14. Her father's Robert.

I'll see what I can do.

I'm a doctor, can I... You're better off
around the other side.

All right.

Hello, Robert, Carol.

I'm Dr. Cherison.

It's a bit of a mess, isn't it?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it, hold it!
Let's get some timber in here and get it

jerked off.

Can you tell me why you're feeling the
worst pain?

My leg! OK, let's have a look.

Step... OK, OK.

It looks like you fractured your femur.

That's your thigh bone.

What I'd do is give you something that
should take the pain away.

Just a quick injection.

Okay.

How are you feeling, Robert? Okay?

Fine. It's just my ribs.

How's the pain when you keep still?

It's not so bad.

It is when they move the car.

They have to do that to get you out.

It is really bad.

It won't be a moment.

The girl's got a fractured femur.

I can't see her lower legs. She could be
losing a lot of blood.

I need to get her out as soon as
possible or it could be bad.

You mean she could lose her leg?

She could lose her life.

Dr. Alway never fusses like this.

He just gives me the repeat
prescription.

Well, Dr. Alway's going to be away for a
bit and we all have our own way of

doing things, don't we?

Right. How long have you been having
these pains?

Oh, it's been years, but it's just
indigestion.

But you said it was much worse last
night.

I suppose so.

My husband and I, we've got this new
business.

A lot of hard work, so we're eating late
and that.

Doctor always says that probably sets it
off.

Did you take anything for the pain?

I had some indigestion pills I get from
the chemist.

Right, but they didn't make any
difference.

No, that's why I came to see you.

Well, seeing as you are here, I'd, um...
I'd like to run a couple of tests, just

to make sure that we know what's going
on.

I don't see why.

Well, maybe we can come up with a more
effective treatment for you. Shall I

an appointment with reception?

No.

No, we can do them today.

I can't.

Well, it won't take long, and, uh... I
really think you should have the test,

Mrs Attercliffe.

Spot of a tramp there, Mr. Greengrass.
Oh, yes.

It's terrible, sister.

Because it's not just going up and down.

It's going across as well. So I thought
I'd see if I could walk it off. You can

fill this first.

I love an optimist.

Sister! I know it's not your birthday,
but...

Would you like to take the sample?

Mrs Attercliffe.

Right, Dr Taylor, I'll take you through
a few tests.

OK. A lot of fuss about nothing.

Doctor, we've some more casualties from
a car crash to you in. Do you really

need that test done now?

Yes, otherwise I wouldn't have asked for
it.

It's Sheila Attercliffe.

She's one of Dr Alway's regulars.

Well, it's a shame he missed the heart
problem.

I'd be very surprised if he did. Dr
Alway doesn't usually miss much.

Well, the ECG should tell us.

I haven't half missed you.

It's been ever so quiet since you went
away.

Don't worry about it, David.

I'm sure you'll make sure that things
will soon be back to normal.

Well, you never said your sister was
ill. No, well, like a bit... What does

have, then?

Is it the same as you? I don't really
like to talk about it, David. Look, what

want you to do is to get the lorry, take
it round to Casualty and ask for a man

called Ken...

Hopkirk. He's a short fellow with a
big... And wears a sort of brown

All right. And when you've done that, I
want you to take this number, ring that

number in Harrogate, and when they
answer, just tell them that Mr

wants to talk to them about the
arrangements for the funeral.

What about Mr Scripps?

No, I don't want to involve him.

She wasn't all that keen on him, you
know.

Did you bring the tools I asked you for?

Oh, yeah, yeah, they're in the bag.

I've got a hammer, some pincers. David,
you don't have to do a stock take. Put

it under the cupboard.

I'll take the whiskey.

Not too much noise. There's people going
to sleep.

I'll take the bottle, thank you.

The other one.

You should be working for MI5.

Merciful hour!

Get that animal out of my ward! Go on!
Go on with the both of you!

Visiting hours for you are between two
and four, and the dog stays outside!

Out!

Mr. Greengrass, you are turning into
what Matron calls one of those

patients.

When faced with one of those patients,
sometimes the only option is heavy

sedation. It's not a bad idea.

I think you could do with a bit of a
rest.

Here, Carol, hold my hand.

That's right.

OK, hold it.

OK, let's stop.

It's all right.

Doctor. Is there anything else you can
do? I mean, every time we move, it sets

her off again. Give her another dose of
morphine, but I can't guarantee it'll

work.

Can you get a message to the hospital
for me?

Should be able to.

Can you tell them I need a cylinder of
Entonox as soon as possible?

Entonox. That's right.

Is that going to work?

I mean, the injection's made no
difference.

Right, um... This isn't good news, I'm
afraid. The ECG

results show that you've actually had a
mild heart attack.

I can't have.

The pains that you felt in your chest,
they weren't indigestion. They were what

we call a coronary thrombosis.

And I'm afraid that it's done some
damage to part of your heart.

I've got to be a mistake.

I'd know if I had a heart attack.

Well, heart attacks aren't all the same.
It's not unusual for people to just

have the sort of pain in the chest that
you had last night, you see.

Is there nothing wrong with me today?

There is.

You're just not aware of it at the
moment. The results show that your heart

in an unstable condition.

So we need to do something about that.

There's nothing I can take for it. No.

No, you're going to have to come into
hospital. You need at least a

complete bed rest.

That's the only way we can make you
better. Your heart needs time to

But I can't.

I've got things to do.

Listen to me, Sheila.

You could have another heart attack at
any time. You can't pretend this hasn't

happened.

OK?

Right, I'll go up to the ward and warn
them that you'll be coming up.

Yes, well, you're very lucky, Mr Green.
I think that's just a broken rim.

Doctor.

I'll get an x -ray just to check,
though. Can you make a start by cleaning

those abrasions, please? Yes, Doctor.

Dr. Cheriton wants a cylinder of
Entonox.

There's a girl trapped up there. She's
in a lot of pain.

Well, he's going to need something
stronger than Entonox.

And that was the message from the
police.

Look, I don't suppose you'd take it out
to him, would you?

I can't leave the department.

Well, there's something we can't handle
here. I think you're going to be more

use -helping, Dr. Cheriton. I'm sorry,
Doctor, but if it's just carrying a

cylinder of gas... No, no, no, no.

It's more than that.

Dr. Cheriton's already lost a patient in
a similar situation, and I don't want

that to happen again.

And you're an experienced casualty
nurse.

I can't tell him what to do.

Well, I hope you're not going to have
to.

Don't worry, I'll square it with Matron.

Go on.

I've seen Mrs Attercliffe. I think
they're in here.

Yeah, but did you come back out again?

I'll check if I've got the notes back.

No, I've got the notes. I'm looking for
the patient.

That's funny. We usually lose the notes.

I heard he said to bring Laurie round
and ask for you.

Anything else?

To phone someone in Arrogant.

What do you reckon he's up to?

I don't know.

But if the organ grinder won't tell us,
maybe we should ask the monkey.

You here for Greengrass?

Yeah, that's right.

Well, I'm up there.

Oh, right.

He told me he'd given you the number of,
uh... What's his name? Inarrogant.

Haven't got it on you, have you?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Yeah.

Asked me to give them a call.

What about our funeral?

Yeah, well, that's our little secret.

You wanted internet?

Yes, thanks.

Just a moment.

What's the diagnosis?

Fractured femur and acute shock.

I don't dare give her any more morphine.

I did think of trying a femoral nerve
block, but I've only ever done one in

theatre. It could kill her if you get
the artery.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Can you reach the nerve?

I'm not sure.

What do you think?

I thought it was a young girl in a lot
of pain.

Let's do it.

You're all right. It won't move.

I'm just going to cut away your skirt at
the top there.

Keeps only cool uniform, eh?

Yeah.

OK,

now the doctor's going to try and give
you another injection, a different one.

But you need to reach the top of your
leg here, all right?

Right, Carol. I need you to be very
brave for me.

Can you twist your body a little towards
me, Carol?

That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

Okay, hold it there.

Right, here we go.

Ready?

Good girl.

Okay.

Now, all we have to do is wait a minute.

I had one of Dr. Always' patients in
earlier.

Do you know that he had completely
missed the fact that she had a heart

condition? Well, it can happen.

No, it wouldn't have happened if she'd
been a man.

Jim made a mistake.

Yes, because he thinks that women fuss
about nothing. You see her notes, you

know, they're so patronising.

Had he seen her recently? Well, no, he
hadn't, but even if he had, you know...

Well, he's exactly the same towards me,
isn't he? He'd be so much happier if I

just... Stuck to mothers and babies and
left the real work to the chaps. Well, I

don't think that's fair.

It's because you're a chap.

The patient's all right, is she? I have
absolutely no idea. I can't find her.

That's nice.

Fine for your x -ray, Mr Greengrass.

Lovely. I was just wondering, if it's
not too much out of the way, do you

we could go by the mortuary? Because I'd
like to just visit Mr...

I think I might have to clear it with Mr
Opker.

No, you won't.

Here.

Thank you.

I'm sure it won't be a problem.

It might be for me if this keeps up.

Give me a tight.

I hope you've passed your test.

Can you feel the leg at all?

No, it... It's like he's not there.

That's good.

OK. All right, John.

Are you going to tell me the real reason
why you came out here?

I just couldn't keep away.

So you weren't checking up on me?

That's not my job.

No, it isn't.

Thanks anyway.

Can you have a moment, Nurse Hopkirk?

I'll be landing.

Where is Staff Nurse Taylor?

Um, she's gone to help Dr. Cheriton.

Where? Up on the Ashfordly Road.

They're covering for her.

In future, if there's any covering to be
done, you do not arrange it amongst

yourselves.

You come to me.

Is that understood?

Yes, Maître.

Your patient's waiting.

Mr Middleditch, message for you.

Lock it down.

Lizzie.

This is in shorthand.

Sorry.

Mr Nisbet, from Her Majesty's Customs
and Excuses.

I think you'll find that excite.

So, anyhow, he wants to speak to you
about a patient called... Greengrass.

How did you know that?

Sheila.

I've got a hospital bed waiting for you.

It's a joke, Mae. We're going to this
big antiques fair in London.

We can't miss it. Your health's not more
important.

I don't feel the rage at the moment.

It's not a big chance.

I have to risk it.

Have you spoken to your husband?

No, and I'm not going to.

You should. It affects him, too.

It's up to me.

Why am I doing this on the owner? What?

I'm sorry, love. This lady was just
looking at the grandmother clock.

Er, 25 quid.

Thank you.

I've been saying, Sheila, we're supposed
to be in Portobello Road today, not

next week.

If you'd like to have a think about it
and come back, it's just that we're

closed for the next couple of days.

All right, I see.

Look, I can't force you to come in.

But you need complete bed rest if you've
got any chance of getting better.

I'll take my chances.

Sheila!

Hey, see you in a bit.

He wants to take coffee. I bet he does.
Did he give you any money?

Yeah.

Three, four, five, six, seven hundred.
Very generous of you. Oh, not half yet.

He gave me a thousand.

Oh, I took it to the bank.

Altogether it's worth about three, Bob.

But the commission charges half a crown.

Oh, all this running around.

Don't worry.

We'll pay up. Hold that.

Ah, Ken.

Has that coffin been collected yet?

Er, no problem there, Mr M.

Is that a yes or a no?

It's a yes.

That's temporarily a no, but me and Alan
are keen to do it right away.

Then get on with it.

Ah! A probable return.

What have we got here?

Hello?

I'm Dr Owen Robb. We're going to give
you something to stop that hurting, if

don't mind.

The doctor gave me an injection.

Femoral nerve block.

Really?

That was great.

She'll still be there if I haven't tried
it. Even so, it was a hell of a risk.

What else could I do?

I couldn't see the extent of her
injuries. I had to get her out.

Yes.

Well, it looks like you got away with
it.

What do you mean? It was the right thing
to do.

Just so long as you weren't
overcompensating for losing that patient

The difference from last time is I had
the right kit.

So I could do something out there.

Instead of watching someone die.

Fair point.

Anyway.

Well done.

Not too cosy in here.

I bet you don't get too many complaints
from the residents.

Look, do you mind if I have a few
moments with her alone?

No, no, you take all the time you like.
Thanks, Captain.

You wait here.

I'll be back in five minutes.

Thanks.

Did you find your patient?

Oh, yeah.

She doesn't want to be admitted.

Well, it's her choice.

Honestly, I don't know what's got into
her. I think maybe the husband might be

problem.

Are you saying he might suffer having
treatment?

I'm not sure, really. I don't think
that's all, really.

How long has she been Jim always
patient? Oh, forever.

Then I'll tell you if you'll know all
about her.

Matron. Is that a problem?

Well, you know me and Matron have always
been the best of friends.

I've got a message for Mr Greengrass.

Do you want me to give it to him?

No, I don't think I've had to do that.
It's about his sister, you see, and

not at all pleased because she thinks
that Mr Greengrass has taken her spoons.

Yeah, and she's not dead, neither.

But the other sister said that I can't
go on to the ward.

What other sister?

Your sister.

I don't have a sister.

I don't understand.

No, neither do I.

So what exactly is the message?

It's, um... Will he please phone her?

Who? Perhaps I can help.

Yes?

Have you, um...

Have you got a moment? I'd like some
advice.

From me?

Yes, it's about Sheila Attercliffe.
She's refusing to be admitted. I just

wondered if there was anything I ought
to know. I thought maybe the husband

might be a problem.

Not as far as I know.

Sheila's not scared of him.

Well, Stuart, she's devoted to him.

Not surprising after what they've been
through.

You know about their son?

No. A little lad called Daniel.

He died here about five years ago.

Meningitis.

How old was he?

Eight.

This hospital doesn't have the best
memory for her.

I thought you would have known.

No, well, it wasn't in the note.

Well, there's no reason they should have
been.

Dr Orway obviously knew.

I don't think it's Stuart that's
stopping Sheila.

Maybe she just doesn't want to let him
down.

I wish I could talk to him myself.

Anyway, thank you.

Don't let us stop, yeah?

I just wanted one last look.

Aye, and I suppose it's got nothing to
do with you wanting a sample box of 25

for methods to embolden prior wine
merchants and tobacconists of arrogance.

Well, where'd they come from?

Where's Isabel? She's alive and well and
living in Barbados, although she's

somewhat brassed off at a Beth Silver
going, missus.

Well, one to all those. Anyway, it's
family silver, and I'm half the family,

I just had my half, that's all.

I don't know. I don't know.

What do you think we should do, Alan?

Oh, we could go to Mr Middleditch.

Hey, that's not worth the paper it's
printed on.

No, I'm sorry.

We can't be a party to this.

Look, I... Look, I... I didn't,
honestly, I didn't like Barbados and I

on with my sister and, in fact, she were
the worst of the two. This was going to

be my...

passport to get over, and then this firm
in Harrogate promised me 100 quid for

them. 500, they told me, but first
you've got to get them there.

All right, well, if you... If you help
me, I'll... I'll gear 10 % of what I

I was thinking more on the lines of 75.

Oh, you've got more chance of knitting.

Fuck, I'd be losing money.

Well, I could just about go to 60.

All right, I'll... I'll split it with
you, 50 -50.

Don't. Yeah.

I think you're looking at a fella as has
been.

Yeah, they look fine. They should give
him no time.

Might be off school for a while with
that, though. Hello, Carol. How are you

feeling? I'm all right, thanks.

Are you sure I can't have my leg in a
pot?

No, we need to put you in traction.

We'll have you dangling from the
ceiling.

Daphne, can I have a word?

Matron.

Where were you this morning?

I went out to the road accident.

Why wasn't I told?

Dr. Ormerod said he'd tell you.

It is not Dr.

Ormerod's job to run errands for nurses.

To leave your post is a dereliction of
duty. How dare you? I'm sorry. Excuse

Matron. It was an emergency.

If anyone's to blame, it's me. It wasn't
you who was supposed to be running

casualty.

If you value your job and you wish to
keep it, you are not to leave this

hospital without making sure that I know
first.

Do you understand?

Yes, Matron.

Thank you, Doctor.

That was me thinking we'd done quite a
good job.

Are you doing anything this evening?

Looking for a new job at this rate.

Any chance you'd give me a hand house
hunting?

Seeing as you know your way around town.

Yeah, OK.

Great. You have to work, Meryl.

It's Daphna Taylor, Doctor.

It's Mrs Attercliffe, a husband's phone.
He doesn't know what to do.

Right.

Excuse me.

Who gave you permission to come on to
this ward?

I'm Nisbet.

Customs investigation.

I have a search warrant. I don't care
what you've got. You do not set foot on

this ward without speaking to me first.

I'm looking for a Claude Jeremiah
Greengrass.

Well, you're hardly likely to find him
in the cabinet.

If you'd like to follow me, I'll notify
the hospital secretary of your arrival.

I don't like the idea of him going in
here.

Look, Alan pushes bins round the
hospital all day and nobody takes no

Hey, there's this bloke from customs.

He was in the ward.

Come on, we'd better get our skates on
then.

The lad's outside with the van, is he?
Ready and waiting.

Are you sure you can trust him? Who,
David?

A bit more than I can trust either of
us.

We're closed. I'm Sheila's doctor.

She's over there.

Right. You were here this morning.

Yes. So you knew Sheila was ill?

Look, can you get the car started? We
need to get her straight to hospital.

Right.

It's all right, Sheila. Come here.

I'm sorry.

I didn't tell you.

Dr. Alway, he did warn me.

I should have listened.

This is Stuart.

He needs me here.

Don't talk, Sheila. Not now.

Hey, I've got a job for you.

You're a temporary acting unpaid porter,
coupled with a columnist.

Mr Nisbet?

Yes? I'm Middleditch, hospital
secretary.

I'm having difficulty discovering the
whereabouts of one of your patients.

Ah.

Well, Mr. Greengrass would appear to
have gone AWOL.

But given his condition, it's safe to
assume that he can't have gone far.

Nurse Hopkirk?

Yes, Mr. Murdoch. Have you seen your
uncle?

Um, he's in the mortuary fixing
something, I think.

Right, sir. If you care to follow me.

OK, David, grab this.

Yeah.

Follow me.

Ah, Ken!

Just the man.

This is Mr Nisbet from Customs and
Excise.

Pleased to meet you, sir. And he would
like some help in tracking down Mr

Greengrass.

Ah, well, glad to be of assistance.

Well, why don't you start in there?

The mortuary?

Well, you said you wanted to search the
whole hospital, leave no stone unturned

and all that.

I'll leave you to it.

It's not very pleasant in there, you
know.

If I want your advice, I'll ask for it.

Oh, my Lord.

I did warn you.

It's a bit of a shock.

Is this your first one?

Yeah. Is Dee a patient?

Not any more.

I'm sorry.

I'm not feeling very well.

Do you want to go into the operating
theatre next?

Now, wait there a minute.

Go outside and check the course, please.

Hello!

Didn't I ask you to unblock the drain in
the theatre scrub area?

I did that yesterday.

Well, it's blocked again.

I'll take another look. It won't be a
minute. No, you won't. Because you're

coming with me now.

Yes, Merton.

What's going on?

Sheila's had a heart attack.

Oh.

I don't get it.

Why were you at the shop this morning?

I think you need to talk to Sheila.
Yeah, but you knew she was ill. Why

you do something?

Was it Sheila?

It would have been preferable if she'd
come in a bit earlier, but the main

is that Sheila has a very good chance of
recovery.

You know, it was the same with our
little lad, Danny.

She kept saying there was nothing wrong,
kept pretending until...

I knew she wasn't well.

I was on and on at her.

Maybe it was just difficult for her
coming back here, you know, after what

happened to your son.

More than difficult.

I can't move her as well, you know.

I can't.

Have you told her that?

Maybe you should.

I should be getting her onto the board,
you know.

I don't think what he has to say will
take very long.

I was getting round to painting that
took the time.

Right, come on, Claude.

Where's he gone?

He's gone outside to get some fresh air.
Where are the cigars?

Well, no -one knows what to do, so don't
worry. Sorry, but I've got to go round

to theatre.

Where's the cigars? David's got the bin.
Does he know what was in it?

Hey, what about me?

Well, yeah, it's about time anyway.

That way leads to going in the
incinerator.

What? The incinerator.

Down the corridor, right, left and left
again.

Right. No, left.

Come on, I'll show you.

That's the incinerator.

What do I do?

You work it out.

All

right,

Dad? Hiya, love.

You've not seen David, have you?

He's wearing a porter's coat.

Yeah, he looked a bit confused, but I
showed him where to go.

And where was that?

The incinerator.

Oh, no.

Get your foot down!

Oh, no, David, no!

Stop it, Ken!

Do you know what you've done?

It's all right, Blake, isn't it?

What's that peculiar smell?

It's the new anthracite.

Really?

I don't think we've been introduced.

Oh, uh, this is David, um, maintenance
engineer. He's here to fix the valve on

that leaky pump.

And there is a good reason for Mr.
Greengrass being in the boiler room?

Yes.

Enlighten me.

Well, it's because I'm missing the
sunshine, you see.

I've just come back from the West
Indies, and as you probably know, in the

Indies, it's always sort of hot.

And you come back to England and it's
always a bit cold. And it's the warmest

place in the hospital, isn't it?

I see.

And the coffin?

It's going.

It's gone.

Well, that would appear to be that.

Ken, would you see Mr Greengrass back to
the ward?

However much he may be missing the
tropics, I don't think Sister Bridget

approve of this type of ad hoc therapy.

Oh, hang on.

Does this belong to anybody?

In that case, I'm going to take it.

Corona Coronas.

Should make a good prize for the
Christmas raffle.

Let's hope I can afford a ticket.

I see you took a dementia.

No, Matron was talking to me.

It's the verbal equivalent of a radical
testerectomy.

I thought you were walking a bit oddly.

You persuaded your patient to come in,
then?

She didn't have much say in them,
actually. Apparently, Dr. Alway had

them months ago.

So there was nothing you could have
done?

Well, I could have tried lifting them a
bit more and not been so fat to jump to

conclusions. Well, you could try blaming
the patient for once. They're not

always perfect.

You've got an interesting case here.

What do you say, Dr Weatherall? Well,
I'd be a bit worried about what Sister

Bridget's been feeding her patients. I
don't know, maybe she thought they were

bit short in iron?

Hmm.

Well, I'm afraid the screwdriver in your
pancreas isn't your only problem, Mr

Greengrass.

The urine tests aren't good either. In
fact, the lab technicians said they were

fizzing.

Slightly.

But we needn't worry about that. With
the level of sugar in your blood, you

should be dead.

All in all, you're something of a
medical miracle.

Pleased to hear it. But since your last
set of clinical tests didn't go entirely

to plan, well, we're going to just have
to repeat them.

Why? When you already know what's wrong
with me?

Well, we know about your malaria, your
sugar levels and your screwdriver, Mr

Greengrass.

But they may not be the whole story.

You're closed, Doctor.

They're darts, my underpants.

Hospital policy for new doctors.

What's the plan?

Well, I've arranged with you a couple of
flats, and I thought maybe we could get

a bite to eat.

Oh, great.

Oh, you might want to book a table.

Well, it's just the two of us.

No, five.

I thought between us we could sort you
out.

Hey, and then you can buy us all a meal.