All language subtitles for The Protectors s01e24 t Could Be Practically

a happy man today if I had a head of
hair.

She's arriving now.

So far, so good.

Thank you.

Good morning, Miss Rita.

Good morning. Welcome to the Grand
Hotel, my darling. Thank you. This way,

please. Thank you.

Okay, go on. Do your stuff. Go on.

Thank you so much. Bye -bye.

All right, Mr. Gill, I'd say discretion
is the key word here.

Oh, Harry, how right you are.

Discretion, of course.

Yes, my hotel detectives must be
efficient. We're not seen or heard,

Right.

99 % of your guests are going to be on
vacation here.

Absolutely. It's wonderful, Harry, to
have someone of your vast experience to

help set it all up. Thank you very much.

Relax, relax.

Who in the family would do a thing like
that? All right.

I'll borrow her all the way from you,
Ralph.

Arkansas? U .S. of A. Yes. It was your
first vacation.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Jell.

Gal, madam. The name's Gal, not Jell.

Oh, thank you anyway.

Thank you.

Okay, now, you see, your dog's name is
Muffin.

Okay, now, just try and tell me exactly
what happened.

What are you trying to do to me,
LaRoche? That's the message, darling.

Joe Flynn won't be here for 48 hours. 48
hours? You mean we're stuck with that

for two days? Oh, don't be beastly. It's
only a little popular. All right, the

plan needed a dog, and we got it. Now,
what's happened to Flynn?

Unavoidably delayed.

Well, you know I'm sick, and Flynn knows
I'm sick, and I'm tense. I'm a very

tense person.

Oh, do relax, darling. How can I relax?
I have a nervous wreck.

I've got a rotten stomach and rheumatism
in my knees, and I...

I put her in the counter next to me.

And when I was done registering, I
turned around and she was gone.

The basket was gone, the bow was gone,
and the dog was gone.

What kind of a dog is she?

She's just a little poodle.

Just a little tiny one.

Tiny? Now, how tiny is tiny?

It only weighs two pounds.

She's white.

Looks like a little snowball.

Sex?

No.

She's just a puppy.

Eric, come here.

I want to ask you something, and I'm
very serious.

Does my baldness bother you? I mean, am
I...

Am I still attractive in spite of it?
Darling, it's super. Much better than

that long -haired stuff.

I'd be a happy man today if I had a head
of hair. That's all I ever wanted out

of life, a full head of hair.

I probably never would have turned to
crime.

Harry, Harry, that lady, Miss Rita was
asking for you. I figures were she. Out

by the pool.

Harry, this is a new hotel, and I'm
trying desperately hard to build up a

reputation.

Please, try to do what you can.

Please.

Miss Reeder?

Hi. Hi. Hey, have you found Muffin yet?
Well, we're still looking for him. It

may take some time, I guess.

Look, now, that's all right. You just
take as much time as you think you need.

You don't seem quite as worried as you
were before.

I'm plenty worried.

But see, I've been thinking about it.
And I figured that Muffin's so adorable

that if anybody did take her, they sure
sure couldn't hurt her.

Oh. And anyway, maybe they just borrowed
her.

Since they're cute, she wouldn't mind
them probably borrowing myself.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

You really think so?

Yeah. Because, you know, I still want
her back.

Okay.

Wrong again, huh, you miserable?

I'm sure nobody saw you bring all this
junk up here. Yes, darling, I'm sure.

How many brands of this stuff are there?

I mean, this dog has got to be in shape
when we give her back.

Eat, eat.

She's not eating, LaRoche.

Now, why isn't she eating?

This is your department.

Details I leave to you, I always have.

We've got a problem, I mean a major
problem.

Gosh, don't sit there, babe. Do
something.

She's sick.

You think she's sick? You don't think
she's sick, do you? Well, I think she's

sick, and if she's sick, I'm sick. No,
darling, she's not sick.

Then why doesn't she eat?

She's pampered, probably on a special
diet.

Diet? Like what? What? What? What?

Oh, I don't know. Could be anything.

Steak tartar? Caviar?

Caviar, of course, yes. I knew a lapdog
once just like her. The only thing she

would eat would be thighs.

Chicken thighs.

All right.

What do you eat?

There they are.

Don't look, don't look, don't look.

Now, get rid of the guy with her.

For you anything, darling, but how?

How should I know? Just do it, do it, do
it. Here, here's a fiver. Think of

something. Go on, go, go, go.

All right, excuse me.

Telephone call.

Blackjack. Yes, sir?

You, uh, see the lady in the black
dress? Black dress?

Over there. Oh, yes, sir. But don't
block, don't block, don't block.

Okay, look.

Oh, yes, sir.

I'll have two of whatever she's
drinking.

Right.

All right, here we are, sir.

Castor. Philip Castor. Hi.

Uh, uh, do you, um... Do you mind if,
uh... If I, um...

No.

I bet feeding a little dog like that
could be a major problem.

Well, now, you just let me tell you.

Feeding Muffin really is a big problem.

Do you know there's only one thing in
the whole world that little critter will

eat? What is that one thing?

I don't want to talk about it. Oh, no,
no. Force yourself. It'll make you feel

much better.

Tell me something. Does she like roast
beef?

Hamburger? Pork hearts?

Pork fritters?

What about chicken? I do a very nice
cacciatore.

No, no, that's just like... Oh, please,
no, no, don't, don't. Don't worry about

it, please.

Worry? What do you mean, don't worry?
What?

What? Why am I wearing a tuxedo?

What are you, a crazy lady?

What are you doing?

When Flynn's arrived, he'll meet you at
noon.

Where? Come on, time to get up.

Oh, you're not going to wear that again.
No, I'm not. Now leave me alone, will

you? Where do I meet Flynn?

At the castellated house.

Come on.

That's it. Come on. Come on out.

Now don't forget your hat.

There. Go on.

Off you go. Go on.

It's all right, darling. Go on.

Flynn, don't do that. My angina.

You have the dog?

Of course I have. What do you think I
am, some kind of amateur?

You will attach the microfilm to the
collar and return the dog to its owner.

Guaranteed. Personally.

I'll probably get some kind of reward.

Imbecile. Well, what did I say?

You will leave the dog somewhere where
it will be found.

No one will suspect any connection
between you and its disappearance.

Well, of course, of course. That's what
I meant.

When does the dog's owner fly to New
York? On Friday. Friday. I checked it

out. Right.

Here is the microfilm.

Have no fear.

Felix is here.

That's a little joke. I just... I'll
guard it with my life. If you don't, you

may well pay with your life.

Listen, I think I got some good news for
you. Oh, you mean about Mother?

Yeah, it could be.

Oh, Harry, Harry, I was so excited.

If you'd gotten a bigger dog, we'd have
a bigger collar and I'd be a lot

happier.

Oh, thanks. I'll take it.

Lovely. Mmm.

Lunch. Lunch?

Liver cooked in milk.

Come on, little fella.

Come on, baby.

That's it.

Lovely dins.

Come on.

He swallowed it.

Mary, he swallowed it.

And I think what happened was somebody
there in the morning actually picked it

up and ran home. And went out and turned
the door.

Long, cool spice with a little vodka.
Thank you, honey.

Interesting conversation?

Huh? The guy who just left.

Oh, you know...

Everyone's been so nice.

They really are concerned about Little
Muffin.

That nice gentleman there was just
inquiring as to whether I got her back

not. He was.

Yeah.

You know him?

Mm -hmm.

Well, who is he?

Trouble.

Hold her still, LaRoche. That's an
order.

Will you please stop her looking at me?

cover her eyes you can't go through with
this can i

hey

you're right i can't let's get out of
here start packing

Come on, come on.

Never mind. Forget the elevators. Let's
use the back stairs.

Come on.

Come here, honey. Come on. Move, move.
Please, move.

Come on, Mary.

Please, let's get out of here. Please,
Mary.

Come on.

Where is the microfilm?

Where? He swallowed it. Costa.

No, the dog.

My name is Costa, Felix Costa.

Do you mind if I stand up? No.

That man who shot at me, he's very
dangerous.

You're not.

Me?

Well, no, I don't know him. Why should I
know him? Of course not.

Certainly not. Certainly I don't know
him. You think I know him? That's

ridiculous. I'm a guest here, a
registered guest. Check it, check it,

What are you doing?

Listen, I'll tell her everything. I can
stand anything but pain. All right,

just calm down and tell me all you know
about this.

They were going to transport the film to
the States using the dog as a canine

courier. Hidden in the collar, but that
was my idea.

Pretty dumb.

In my baby's collar?

That's a terrible thing.

Yeah, Joe Flynn's associate was going to
meet the dog, but the plan got fouled

up when Muffin here swallowed the film.

What do you think, Doctor?

Well, I can positively say that our
little friend no longer has the fallen

in his stomach.

I don't understand.

There's a story that...

Arkansas farmer told me once about a cow
who swallowed a fly.

And the fly fell asleep in the cow's
stomach, and when the fly woke up, the

was gone.

You mean... I mean, a microfilm could be
practically anywhere.

In the avenues and alleyways.