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1
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a happy man today if I had a head of
hair.
2
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,050
She's arriving now.
3
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:15,500
So far, so good.
4
00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:22,470
Thank you.
5
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,520
Good morning, Miss Rita.
6
00:00:25,521 --> 00:00:28,359
Good morning. Welcome to the Grand
Hotel, my darling. Thank you. This way,
7
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:29,410
please. Thank you.
8
00:00:43,150 --> 00:00:44,770
Okay, go on. Do your stuff. Go on.
9
00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:04,750
Thank you so much. Bye -bye.
10
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:08,550
All right, Mr. Gill, I'd say discretion
is the key word here.
11
00:01:08,890 --> 00:01:10,570
Oh, Harry, how right you are.
12
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Discretion, of course.
13
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:16,250
Yes, my hotel detectives must be
efficient. We're not seen or heard,
14
00:01:16,251 --> 00:01:17,529
Right.
15
00:01:17,530 --> 00:01:20,060
99 % of your guests are going to be on
vacation here.
16
00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:24,249
Absolutely. It's wonderful, Harry, to
have someone of your vast experience to
17
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,170
help set it all up. Thank you very much.
18
00:02:23,891 --> 00:02:25,699
Relax, relax.
19
00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:29,760
Who in the family would do a thing like
that? All right.
20
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,250
I'll borrow her all the way from you,
Ralph.
21
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,840
Arkansas? U .S. of A. Yes. It was your
first vacation.
22
00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:38,320
Oh, thank you, Mr. Jell.
23
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,840
Gal, madam. The name's Gal, not Jell.
24
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,300
Oh, thank you anyway.
25
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:43,750
Thank you.
26
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:47,540
Okay, now, you see, your dog's name is
Muffin.
27
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,180
Okay, now, just try and tell me exactly
what happened.
28
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:58,769
What are you trying to do to me,
LaRoche? That's the message, darling.
29
00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:02,509
Joe Flynn won't be here for 48 hours. 48
hours? You mean we're stuck with that
30
00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:05,849
for two days? Oh, don't be beastly. It's
only a little popular. All right, the
31
00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:08,980
plan needed a dog, and we got it. Now,
what's happened to Flynn?
32
00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:10,610
Unavoidably delayed.
33
00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:14,849
Well, you know I'm sick, and Flynn knows
I'm sick, and I'm tense. I'm a very
34
00:03:14,850 --> 00:03:15,900
tense person.
35
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:19,390
Oh, do relax, darling. How can I relax?
I have a nervous wreck.
36
00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:23,570
I've got a rotten stomach and rheumatism
in my knees, and I...
37
00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:30,290
I put her in the counter next to me.
38
00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:34,450
And when I was done registering, I
turned around and she was gone.
39
00:03:34,690 --> 00:03:38,290
The basket was gone, the bow was gone,
and the dog was gone.
40
00:03:39,950 --> 00:03:41,450
What kind of a dog is she?
41
00:03:42,050 --> 00:03:43,550
She's just a little poodle.
42
00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:45,550
Just a little tiny one.
43
00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:47,990
Tiny? Now, how tiny is tiny?
44
00:03:48,570 --> 00:03:51,390
It only weighs two pounds.
45
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:55,750
She's white.
46
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,480
Looks like a little snowball.
47
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,290
Sex?
48
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:01,750
No.
49
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:03,760
She's just a puppy.
50
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:07,770
Eric, come here.
51
00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:14,000
I want to ask you something, and I'm
very serious.
52
00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:18,279
Does my baldness bother you? I mean, am
I...
53
00:04:19,019 --> 00:04:23,279
Am I still attractive in spite of it?
Darling, it's super. Much better than
54
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,480
that long -haired stuff.
55
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:30,039
I'd be a happy man today if I had a head
of hair. That's all I ever wanted out
56
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,060
of life, a full head of hair.
57
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:36,770
I probably never would have turned to
crime.
58
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:47,079
Harry, Harry, that lady, Miss Rita was
asking for you. I figures were she. Out
59
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,130
by the pool.
60
00:04:48,131 --> 00:04:51,769
Harry, this is a new hotel, and I'm
trying desperately hard to build up a
61
00:04:51,770 --> 00:04:52,820
reputation.
62
00:04:52,970 --> 00:04:54,710
Please, try to do what you can.
63
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:56,580
Please.
64
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:03,920
Miss Reeder?
65
00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:08,369
Hi. Hi. Hey, have you found Muffin yet?
Well, we're still looking for him. It
66
00:05:08,370 --> 00:05:09,710
may take some time, I guess.
67
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:13,660
Look, now, that's all right. You just
take as much time as you think you need.
68
00:05:14,510 --> 00:05:17,040
You don't seem quite as worried as you
were before.
69
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:19,010
I'm plenty worried.
70
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:24,539
But see, I've been thinking about it.
And I figured that Muffin's so adorable
71
00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:28,440
that if anybody did take her, they sure
sure couldn't hurt her.
72
00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:31,220
Oh. And anyway, maybe they just borrowed
her.
73
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,650
Since they're cute, she wouldn't mind
them probably borrowing myself.
74
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,440
Yeah, I suppose you're right.
75
00:05:37,580 --> 00:05:38,680
You really think so?
76
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,520
Yeah. Because, you know, I still want
her back.
77
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,850
Okay.
78
00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:01,470
Wrong again, huh, you miserable?
79
00:06:02,610 --> 00:06:06,280
I'm sure nobody saw you bring all this
junk up here. Yes, darling, I'm sure.
80
00:06:06,470 --> 00:06:08,450
How many brands of this stuff are there?
81
00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:12,170
I mean, this dog has got to be in shape
when we give her back.
82
00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,120
Eat, eat.
83
00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:16,290
She's not eating, LaRoche.
84
00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:17,690
Now, why isn't she eating?
85
00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:19,050
This is your department.
86
00:06:19,490 --> 00:06:21,310
Details I leave to you, I always have.
87
00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:25,460
We've got a problem, I mean a major
problem.
88
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,890
Gosh, don't sit there, babe. Do
something.
89
00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:35,139
She's sick.
90
00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:38,079
You think she's sick? You don't think
she's sick, do you? Well, I think she's
91
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,150
sick, and if she's sick, I'm sick. No,
darling, she's not sick.
92
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:42,700
Then why doesn't she eat?
93
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,110
She's pampered, probably on a special
diet.
94
00:06:45,111 --> 00:06:46,899
Diet? Like what? What? What? What?
95
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:48,519
Oh, I don't know. Could be anything.
96
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,860
Steak tartar? Caviar?
97
00:06:49,861 --> 00:06:54,199
Caviar, of course, yes. I knew a lapdog
once just like her. The only thing she
98
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,399
would eat would be thighs.
99
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,450
Chicken thighs.
100
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,450
All right.
101
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:01,710
What do you eat?
102
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,210
There they are.
103
00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:16,280
Don't look, don't look, don't look.
104
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,800
Now, get rid of the guy with her.
105
00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:20,940
For you anything, darling, but how?
106
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,519
How should I know? Just do it, do it, do
it. Here, here's a fiver. Think of
107
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,840
something. Go on, go, go, go.
108
00:07:40,479 --> 00:07:41,620
All right, excuse me.
109
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:43,830
Telephone call.
110
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:48,730
Blackjack. Yes, sir?
111
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,680
You, uh, see the lady in the black
dress? Black dress?
112
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:55,390
Over there. Oh, yes, sir. But don't
block, don't block, don't block.
113
00:07:56,331 --> 00:07:58,299
Okay, look.
114
00:07:58,300 --> 00:07:59,350
Oh, yes, sir.
115
00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:01,760
I'll have two of whatever she's
drinking.
116
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:03,110
Right.
117
00:08:06,980 --> 00:08:08,300
All right, here we are, sir.
118
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,840
Castor. Philip Castor. Hi.
119
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:28,359
Uh, uh, do you, um... Do you mind if,
uh... If I, um...
120
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,460
No.
121
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:27,210
I bet feeding a little dog like that
could be a major problem.
122
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,990
Well, now, you just let me tell you.
123
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:34,610
Feeding Muffin really is a big problem.
124
00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:39,769
Do you know there's only one thing in
the whole world that little critter will
125
00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:43,630
eat? What is that one thing?
126
00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:50,049
I don't want to talk about it. Oh, no,
no. Force yourself. It'll make you feel
127
00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:51,100
much better.
128
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,230
Tell me something. Does she like roast
beef?
129
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,500
Hamburger? Pork hearts?
130
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,130
Pork fritters?
131
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,920
What about chicken? I do a very nice
cacciatore.
132
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:08,179
No, no, that's just like... Oh, please,
no, no, don't, don't. Don't worry about
133
00:10:08,180 --> 00:10:09,119
it, please.
134
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,040
Worry? What do you mean, don't worry?
What?
135
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,940
What? Why am I wearing a tuxedo?
136
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,720
What are you, a crazy lady?
137
00:10:27,939 --> 00:10:28,989
What are you doing?
138
00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:58,209
When Flynn's arrived, he'll meet you at
noon.
139
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:00,290
Where? Come on, time to get up.
140
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:04,689
Oh, you're not going to wear that again.
No, I'm not. Now leave me alone, will
141
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:06,530
you? Where do I meet Flynn?
142
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:08,050
At the castellated house.
143
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:28,610
Come on.
144
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,500
That's it. Come on. Come on out.
145
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,120
Now don't forget your hat.
146
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:36,040
There. Go on.
147
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,500
Off you go. Go on.
148
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,740
It's all right, darling. Go on.
149
00:12:57,580 --> 00:12:59,220
Flynn, don't do that. My angina.
150
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:03,730
You have the dog?
151
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:06,790
Of course I have. What do you think I
am, some kind of amateur?
152
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,330
You will attach the microfilm to the
collar and return the dog to its owner.
153
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:14,840
Guaranteed. Personally.
154
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,380
I'll probably get some kind of reward.
155
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,620
Imbecile. Well, what did I say?
156
00:13:19,621 --> 00:13:22,409
You will leave the dog somewhere where
it will be found.
157
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:24,989
No one will suspect any connection
between you and its disappearance.
158
00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:26,709
Well, of course, of course. That's what
I meant.
159
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:30,609
When does the dog's owner fly to New
York? On Friday. Friday. I checked it
160
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:31,660
out. Right.
161
00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:37,070
Here is the microfilm.
162
00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:39,180
Have no fear.
163
00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:40,860
Felix is here.
164
00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:48,889
That's a little joke. I just... I'll
guard it with my life. If you don't, you
165
00:13:48,890 --> 00:13:50,210
may well pay with your life.
166
00:14:05,871 --> 00:14:11,979
Listen, I think I got some good news for
you. Oh, you mean about Mother?
167
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:12,739
Yeah, it could be.
168
00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:14,800
Oh, Harry, Harry, I was so excited.
169
00:14:34,951 --> 00:14:41,919
If you'd gotten a bigger dog, we'd have
a bigger collar and I'd be a lot
170
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:42,970
happier.
171
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,080
Oh, thanks. I'll take it.
172
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,820
Lovely. Mmm.
173
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,300
Lunch. Lunch?
174
00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:02,780
Liver cooked in milk.
175
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,640
Come on, little fella.
176
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:08,420
Come on, baby.
177
00:15:09,570 --> 00:15:10,620
That's it.
178
00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:12,930
Lovely dins.
179
00:15:13,790 --> 00:15:14,930
Come on.
180
00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:03,460
He swallowed it.
181
00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:06,330
Mary, he swallowed it.
182
00:16:07,110 --> 00:16:11,729
And I think what happened was somebody
there in the morning actually picked it
183
00:16:11,730 --> 00:16:14,080
up and ran home. And went out and turned
the door.
184
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:22,610
Long, cool spice with a little vodka.
Thank you, honey.
185
00:16:23,031 --> 00:16:25,829
Interesting conversation?
186
00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:27,430
Huh? The guy who just left.
187
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:31,270
Oh, you know...
188
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:32,840
Everyone's been so nice.
189
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,680
They really are concerned about Little
Muffin.
190
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,799
That nice gentleman there was just
inquiring as to whether I got her back
191
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,020
not. He was.
192
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,490
Yeah.
193
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,090
You know him?
194
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:45,310
Mm -hmm.
195
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,010
Well, who is he?
196
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:48,570
Trouble.
197
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,410
Hold her still, LaRoche. That's an
order.
198
00:16:55,100 --> 00:17:00,820
Will you please stop her looking at me?
199
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,239
cover her eyes you can't go through with
this can i
200
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:10,739
hey
201
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:15,660
you're right i can't let's get out of
here start packing
202
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,400
Come on, come on.
203
00:17:34,650 --> 00:17:37,790
Never mind. Forget the elevators. Let's
use the back stairs.
204
00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:39,180
Come on.
205
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:42,480
Come here, honey. Come on. Move, move.
Please, move.
206
00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:45,500
Come on, Mary.
207
00:17:45,990 --> 00:17:48,210
Please, let's get out of here. Please,
Mary.
208
00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:49,680
Come on.
209
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,780
Where is the microfilm?
210
00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:59,180
Where? He swallowed it. Costa.
211
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,550
No, the dog.
212
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,330
My name is Costa, Felix Costa.
213
00:19:53,370 --> 00:19:55,230
Do you mind if I stand up? No.
214
00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:02,570
That man who shot at me, he's very
dangerous.
215
00:20:02,571 --> 00:20:03,769
You're not.
216
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:04,820
Me?
217
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:09,650
Well, no, I don't know him. Why should I
know him? Of course not.
218
00:20:09,651 --> 00:20:13,489
Certainly not. Certainly I don't know
him. You think I know him? That's
219
00:20:13,490 --> 00:20:17,110
ridiculous. I'm a guest here, a
registered guest. Check it, check it,
220
00:20:18,630 --> 00:20:19,680
What are you doing?
221
00:20:20,550 --> 00:20:27,430
Listen, I'll tell her everything. I can
stand anything but pain. All right,
222
00:20:27,490 --> 00:20:29,960
just calm down and tell me all you know
about this.
223
00:23:34,461 --> 00:23:41,089
They were going to transport the film to
the States using the dog as a canine
224
00:23:41,090 --> 00:23:44,170
courier. Hidden in the collar, but that
was my idea.
225
00:23:44,171 --> 00:23:45,869
Pretty dumb.
226
00:23:45,870 --> 00:23:47,310
In my baby's collar?
227
00:23:47,610 --> 00:23:49,070
That's a terrible thing.
228
00:23:49,071 --> 00:23:53,209
Yeah, Joe Flynn's associate was going to
meet the dog, but the plan got fouled
229
00:23:53,210 --> 00:23:55,130
up when Muffin here swallowed the film.
230
00:23:55,930 --> 00:23:57,250
What do you think, Doctor?
231
00:23:57,770 --> 00:24:01,749
Well, I can positively say that our
little friend no longer has the fallen
232
00:24:01,750 --> 00:24:02,800
in his stomach.
233
00:24:04,350 --> 00:24:05,490
I don't understand.
234
00:24:06,910 --> 00:24:08,070
There's a story that...
235
00:24:08,330 --> 00:24:12,730
Arkansas farmer told me once about a cow
who swallowed a fly.
236
00:24:15,310 --> 00:24:21,829
And the fly fell asleep in the cow's
stomach, and when the fly woke up, the
237
00:24:21,830 --> 00:24:22,880
was gone.
238
00:24:24,150 --> 00:24:29,270
You mean... I mean, a microfilm could be
practically anywhere.
239
00:24:45,290 --> 00:24:48,050
In the avenues and alleyways.
240
00:24:48,100 --> 00:24:52,650
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