All language subtitles for Press Gang s05e06 There Are Crocodiles

Okay, it's like this.

There's a tribe living by a river, and
in the river there are crocodiles.

The tribe has one particular piece of
wisdom passed down through the

generations.

It goes like this.

If you happen to meet a crocodile, don't
stick your head in its mouth.

Every now and then, and who knows the
reason, people ignore this advice.

Which is sad, because they die.

But very stupid, because they were
warned.

They had a choice.

The moral of the story is this.

You can't afford to be stupid.

There are crocodiles.

Are you okay?

Brad?

We were all just wondering if you were
upset about something.

You seem to leave a bit suddenly.

Well, anyway...

I thought that was fun.

43.

43 what?

Nil.

So who got the 43?

Hey, and there he is, the man of the
moment. Congratulations, coach, like

saw on that call today.

There's something I'd like you to do for
me, Colin.

Thank you, coach.

The next time the Junior Gazette all
-stars turn out... to strike unholy

into the hearts of our unworthy and
trembling opponents.

There's just one tiny thing I'd like you
to do. What's that, coach? Wear a

strip!

You don't like this?

43 -0?

Oh, good.

Finally sunk in, has it?

What about my goal?

Yeah. What about Linda's? Nice moves
there, boss. Did you see the look on

face? I just whacked it right past him.
Right in the neck.

Yes, you're quite right.

I'd totally forgotten about Linda's big
moment.

Whack!

One tiny point.

Does it bother either of you at all that
Bill keeps going for Alan?

Well, yes, actually.

I mean, he hardly moved.

He just stood there staring, like he
couldn't believe it was happening.

Well, you were fast, boss. You were
slick.

I was, wasn't I? Even the other team
were cheering.

Oh.

Frazz, I'd better tell you something.

I haven't actually played football
before.

I mean, I wouldn't have played today if
what's -his -name had bothered to show

up. Where was what's -his -name?

Which one's he?

The guy who wasn't there.

Oh, right.

I'll kill him if I can figure out who he
is. Hey, come on, coach. Go easy on

yourself. Most of your team hadn't even
played before.

Except Spike.

Well, yeah, except Spike.

Spike's an expert.

He loves football.

He's played it all his life.

Well, would it have killed you to be
more specific?

Who's in the toilet?

Huh?

You opened up, right?

So who's in there?

Did you know then?

Know what?

Doesn't matter, just a thought.

Tell me about the football game. It
seems a little out of character.

It was Fraser's idea.

I went along with it because I thought
maybe we could all do some kind of joint

activity.

I wasn't supposed to be playing, of
course.

Watts' name didn't make it.

Linda! If someone's in my toilet, I want
to know what they're doing.

She has a passion for detail.

You're very quiet in there.

Which is quite a skill.

That's when I knew.

I could just see it all.

The way it would go.

The logic of it.

When the ambulance... I knew it was bad.

I didn't know it would be the end.

The end of what?

The Junior Gazette.

Tell me about the dream.

You don't want to talk about it?

Later.

Tell me about the boy you found, then.

How did that make you feel?

Angry.

Nothing else?

He could have been dying.

He didn't have to be.

He took the drugs.

His choice.

His problem.

There are crocodiles.

Tell me about the dream, Linda.

No.

You're late. You're fired. I win. You
remember what's happening today?

We plan and discuss the next edition and
I make people cry.

How did I do?

Julie, there's a man sitting in my
chair.

They're from the magazine. The publicity
piece Colin set up?

What do you think of him?

Neanderthal. And I saw him first.

Julie, about your taste in men.

Yeah? Get some.

What's wrong with my taste in men?

Julie, you were the official pin -up at
the last prison riot.

Do you think it's good for this paper's
public image to have a bunch of lifers

on a rooftop waving signed photographs
of the assistant editor?

So what happened in here you don't want
anyone to know about?

And what makes you think something's
happened?

Well, I tell you the press are here and
you immediately search the toilet. And

then you mention our public image for
the first time in living memory.

You're good. I may have to kill you.

I went to the toilet with the press
here. Think of your image.

Spike.

She'll be with you in a moment.

What happened to the hypodermic?

Well, he took it to the hospital,
obviously.

They had to know what he was on.

Look, guys, can we keep the voices down?
This has negative publicity potential.

And in answer to your other question,
Gary's in a very bad way.

Gary? Gary is the member of your staff
who's probably dying.

Tell me you haven't forgotten.

Oh, what's his name?

Meeting room.

Why are you so angry with me?

He might die, Linda.

Do you understand that?

I understand.

Because it looks to me like all you can
see here is a PR problem for your

newspaper.

We agreed last night to stay secret.

I didn't agree, Linda. I just happened
to be in the room while you were

Get the difference.

We can't afford for this to get out. We
sell to school children. We recruit at

schools. So why don't we do the job
we're supposed to do?

Drug abuse is an issue. Why don't we
tell them about the dangers?

Drugs can kill you. What a headline.
Next week, why it's bad to fall off high

buildings.

People do things because they're
dangerous.

We'd be as good as advertising.

Do people do that?

Some people.

Stupid people.

And who needs them?

Why has it taken me so long to realize
you're just as big a monster as you seem

to be?

David.

Who is David?

A jerk.

A jerk?

Just someone who tried to hurt my paper.

Just someone I killed.

Thought it went a bit better. Time?

Hang on.

I will too, shortly.

Please stop doing that.

If you explain just one thing, why do
you insist on constantly scoring against

us?

It was personal.

Spike and I are fighting and you had him
in goal.

How do you feel, coach? Tired but proud?

Colin, let me explain just one general
point about the game of football.

Oh, hey, sure, coach, shoot. I do still
regard myself as a beginner.

No matter how badly your team are doing,
you are not, under any circumstances,

allowed to change sides.

Look, we beat you. Deal with it. Shut
up, Colin.

Talk about a sore loser.

See you guys in a moment.

OK, frat, as I read you, you want me
back on the team.

What do you want here?

Well, scene of a crime, right?

Who told you?

Who told you?

You

tried

to hurt your paper.

David, you mean.

David, yes.

It's hot in here.

You're uncomfortable.

I'm warm.

Tell me about David.

How could he have hurt your paper?

I thought we were talking about Spike in
the magazine.

For now, I'd like to talk about David.

David Jefford.

Was a guy on the news team who
blackmailed me.

Blackmailed you?

It was the early days.

We were still at school.

And we cheated a little on absence notes
and homework copies.

David threatened to report us if I
didn't promote him to the writing team.

Hi.

I told him where to get off.

And? The problem disappeared.

Earlier you said you killed him.

I have a way with problems.

You're dead.

I've got to go. I can't talk now.

Later, okay?

Was it you?

Did you sell us out to that magazine?

You didn't, did you?

I can't believe it would be you.

Colin's in touch with the magazine.

He's trying to find out what they're
going to print about us.

Maybe see what strings he can pull.

Funny being on the receiving end for
once, isn't it?

Funny? This could finish us.

If we get a name for drugs in the
office, we lose the support of the

Matt Kerr.

No support, no paper. Understood?

And all because little old Watts' name
had to go shooting up in my office.

I could kill him.

You don't have to.

What's -his -name is you -know -what.

When? He died two hours ago.

Do you care yet, boss?

You've never actually denied it was you
who sold us out?

No, I haven't, have I?

Oh, hi.

Your father said we'd find you here.

Shooting some rats, you know.

What I agreed to earlier.

Forget it. But you promised. You're not
blackmailing me, David. No way. No how.

Where the hell were you?

I assume you managed to find a
replacement.

It wasn't easy.

The Shevington Herald had a new player
too, as a matter of fact.

He kicked Mike in the face, head -butted
Jeff, and very nearly had me in a

headlock. Till we came up with the
devastating and never -before -tried

to deal with him.

Your replacement asked him for a date.

I love that game.

Did we score?

I'll tell you about it later.

Only our usual quota of own goals.

More than our usual.

Like the magazine thing about us.

Oh.

This your big secret, was it?

Couldn't you have told me?

Let me see.

Couldn't you at least have told me?
Don't you think I could have helped?

looked at our sales lately.

We need all the support we just lost.
Oh, we're finished!

You'd have told Kenny.

Well, Colin told me he was pulling
strings at the magazine.

He said there was nothing to worry
about. What happened?

Hi, everyone. Sorry I missed the match,
coach, but I bet you played a storm.

Just popped in to say goodbye.

I've taken over as their sales manager.

No long speeches, please. I know you'll
only choke.

Let's do phone.

Wow.

I'll miss this place.

Confirmed. This ship is sinking.

You should have told me.

Well, I'll leave you to it, shall I?

Aren't you going to ask if it was me?

This time I'll tell you.

Was it you?

And that's how the fire began?

Yeah.

Yeah, it must have been.

Fire?

It was deliberate, wasn't it?

Deliberate? At some level.

Funging your hand into faulty electrics.

Only weeks after you managed to get
yourself locked in an airtight vault.

You're making some old mistakes.

How hard are you really trying to stay
alive, Linda Day?

Maybe you don't think you deserve to
anymore.

Well, I suppose you're the expert on
suicide.

Yes, I am

Fire

how

did I get out?

You didn't.

Hello, David.

I didn't get out.

Still there.

You're not waking up.

If you don't soon, it's all over.

Why can't I wake?

Because you choose not to.

And why would I do that?

Because I'm supposed to feel guilty over
you, is that it?

David, all I ever did was tell you where
to stuff it and what kind of creep you

were. You shot yourself.

Then why can't you wait?

Trust me, I'll wait.

I don't hate myself enough to burn.

I think you do.

I didn't kill you, David.

It's not what you said before.

It's what I'm saying now.

You killed yourself.

Your choice.

Did you care that I died?

Yes, I cared. I always care.

Good old what's -his -name.

You missed some great football.

Look, I'm sorry you're dead, okay?

I do care.

But to be perfectly honest with you, I
don't care a lot.

You had a choice.

You took the drugs.

You died.

Are you seriously claiming no one warned
you it was dangerous?

Pardon my saying, but it takes a lot to
convince you there's a health risk.

a look at the world lately.

Just how dumb do you think it is safe to
be around here?

There's plenty of stuff going on that
kills you and you don't get warned at

So sticking your head in a crocodile you
were told about is not calculated to

get my sympathy.

You're dead and I do care but you were
weak and stupid and you made a bad

and actually that isn't a crime.

It just happens to have the death
penalty.

You had a warning.

You had a choice.

You got it wrong.

Sorry.

That's life for you.

What about you, Linda?

What's your choice?

Not yours, David.

It's too late.

Fire's spread.

There's no way out.

I know.

But unlike you, I'm not going quietly.

But we needed to talk.

I wish we could talk.

I wish I didn't have to dream it.

Dreams will do.

There's just one thing I have to know
before I, uh, leave.

Was it you who told the magazine?

No one did.

They would have found out at the
hospital.

You never did understand reporting, did
you?

No.

I love you, Linda.

Then forgive me.

For what?

Winding you up.

You utter bitch!

Too late.

You said you loved me.

And you've now said that eight more
times than I have, so that means I'm

definitely winning in this relationship.

The fireman said no one could have got
out.

You were dead.

Yeah.

But I didn't like the company.

Losers.

The good news is the insurance on the
building is going to be a real boost for

our finances.

Plus news stories about my miraculous
escape should divert attention from

Watson's name.

I've also paid Colin a visit and got him
back working for us.

He knows you're alive?

Not precisely, no.

I told him I'd risen from hell on a
mission from Satan to explode his brain.

He signed an exclusive contract for the
next 12 ,000 years.

If I kiss you, do I wake up?

I don't think I want to know if this is
a dream.

Your choice.