Original subtitles

Yeah.

I'm going to read you a letter. I want your opinion.

Where are you?

Newsroom.

I thought... I know.

Can I read you this?

Look, you need my advice on prose style, right?

Spike, this is important.

I thought you were quitting today.

Why are you still at the office?

Look, I just want your opinion on this, that's all.

Well, you know my opinion.

You don't do this with a letter.

Do it face to face.

Dear friend,

And I hope after this you still are my friend.

Of course she will be. You know that. Just listen. I'm listening.

I made a difficult decision today.

One I think you might hate me for.

That's not true.

Spike, please.

I'm listening.

I'm listening.

I have my reasons, of course.

I think they're good ones.

But that's how the story ends, right?

And you're always telling everyone around here the best place to start is

beginning.

OK.

Since I'm going to be way out of range of your advice from now on, maybe I

should take it this one last time.

Once upon a time, long before there ever was a junior gazette, there once was an

English exam, and a girl called Sarah.

And a girl called Linda.

Got a problem, sir?

This exam started 15 minutes ago.

Well, it was supposed to.

Relax, you're doing fine. Why won't you hear?

Oh, come on, sir, I always finish half an hour early, and you said no savages.

Go to your seat, Linda.

I mean, I'm top every time, and this is the thanks I get.

Who's the blonde, sir?

Will you get to your seat, please?

New girl.

If you're changing the line -up, I'd prefer to know what's her form, any weak

spots. This is an exam, not a competition.

Oh, so you won't be giving out marks this time?

Her name is Sarah Jackson, and she's quite brilliant, probably better than

are.

But she gets a little bit nervous during exams, so if you wouldn't mind...

Thanks for the tip.

It wasn't a tip.

What do you think you're doing?

Psyching her out. I think I can take her.

Over there. Why, she can't see you.

We're going to have words about this.

Sorry. Thanks.

You got me so mad I forgot to be nervous.

I think I aced it.

Damn.

Magazine.

You sure?

Why not? It's what the teachers will call it anyway.

Well, maybe, but... Look, we're not talking about some pappy establishment

here. This is underground stuff, real reporting.

Exposes, scandals, official cover -ups. Annoying teachers selling out friends,

getting ourselves in serious trouble.

Exactly. There's no reason it can't be fun, too.

Linda? Yeah?

Don't want you to be angry, OK?

I'm not sure I want to be involved in this sort of magazine.

Look, I feel really bad about this.

You're the first friend I've made round here and you've made a big difference.

But this magazine, it's not turning out the way I expected.

And this first friend thing won't swing it.

I'm sorry.

Are we still friends?

Yeah, I suppose.

Good.

Maybe it's best if I head off now. We can talk tomorrow, yeah?

Whatever.

Well, see you.

I expect so.

Sorry if I'm in a funny mood at the moment.

I'll be fine, honestly.

I know.

It's OK.

I've just been a bit, you know, tensed up.

I understand.

Since Fluffy, my kitten, died.

Of brain cancer.

I heard you sold your kitten.

Well, when I found out it was ill.

Nice try, Linda.

Right, OK, leave, why don't you? Yeah, why don't I?

Everybody else does.

What do you mean, everybody else?

Nothing.

Fine. My dad.

Your dad?

Ever noticed any dads around here?

You've never said anything about this.

What am I supposed to say? Don't count my parents. It's embarrassing.

So do you want to talk about it?

It's no big deal.

I think I know you well enough already to say it's a very big deal, right?

Maybe.

Look, this is the problem.

All I really want to do is keep my head down, pass all my exams, go to

university. If we can work out this magazine thing so it doesn't get in the

way... Well, of course we can.

Look, it's underground.

No -one will even know it's us doing it.

I'll think about it. Brilliant.

Hello, dear.

Hello, darling.

And now Dad's back.

What a great day.

Okay, she's a cow.

You're telling me.

No, you're telling her.

Why?

We've all got our favorite Linda story.

But you guys have been close.

And it hasn't all been bad.

You want to end it on a letter like this?

I don't have a choice.

Huh?

The further adventures of Sarah and Linda.

Pay attention, there's a pattern developing.

Every time there's a follow along, we put out a new addition. Someone's going

make the connection.

Headmaster.

Thank goodness you're safe.

I've never been in trouble for anything in my entire life.

Just stay cool, deny everything and fake a panic attack with breathing

complications. What if my parents find out?

They never understand anything and they just don't care. Call yourself an

adolescent.

What are you here for?

Oh, a week ago I told my domestic science teacher she had the IQ of

But she seemed pleased.

I've never, ever been in trouble for anything.

Just cry a lot and say the gym teacher's harassing you.

Brad? I don't know.

I was just sinful.

Me too.

We were the ones doing that magazine.

The only reason we're here is because this school cannot stand the scrutiny of

free press.

And we've had the fire brigade called out eight times.

About eight, yeah.

I can't believe this is happening. I am never in trouble.

Oh, just a little bit.

So you're strange in these in the school football fans.

Then never mind.

My parents are going to kill me.

I'm just supposed to pass my exams and go to university.

They were so excited when they explained it. They had graphs.

Hey, you guys did an article about a hit list, didn't you?

About how the teachers were saying there were too many problem cases in the

sixth form. And Sullivan and their head had a hit list of troublemakers ready

for a big crackdown.

I'd forgotten that.

Relax, I made it up.

It was a slow news week.

No.

It was a good idea.

What do you mean?

What's happening?

There's a man coming to take you away.

Sir? I think it's time we found a better way for you kids to expend your surplus

energy.

Okay, let's just lower the temperature.

Whatever he's got in mind, it can't be that bad.

How do you know?

Because of us.

We might be trouble, but no one in this group represents a major problem to the

running of the school.

I suggest we start digging the tunnel about here.

Samantha, take me away.

For a news hack, you don't keep up much on the news.

That's the big shot you just took over the local paper.

I knew it. They sold my story to the press.

Sarah, you're panicking. That's good.

Currently. Pleased to meet you.

Pleased to meet you.

Linda Day and Sarah Jackson, I think.

Am I going to be in the press?

Oh, so you've been told.

Yes, we've been planning it for weeks.

Oh, Matt, you're... She's dead.

I hope you're satisfied.

Sarah and Linda, are we getting the picture?

Have we worked out who's the bad guy and who's the angel?

Good.

Now, you're always on about building to a proper climax.

How about this?

The time comes when nice little Sarah has left school and is all set to go to

university. Only bad old Linda is setting up the Junior Gazette as a

operation. Hey, I was joking.

And she's looking for a good writer who isn't frittering away her time in higher

education. Hi.

What do you think?

You're doing this on your own?

Now everyone's being paid, no -one else thinks it's their job.

Figures. You just can't get the staff these days.

You always knew I was going to university.

It's always been the plan.

Did your parents get some kind of grant to raise students?

Can we leave my parents out of it, please? I can.

Can you?

So Spike's back in America, then?

That's what they tell me.

Should have kept hold of that one.

He's a good guy.

I try not to lose good people.

I'm heading out of town today, actually.

I'm looking for digs.

You know, for university, a place to stay.

Check on your birth certificate.

It's probably been arranged.

Thing is, I've got a lot of reading to do and stuff, so I'm not going to be

around as much.

Oh, I'll struggle by without your unstinting support again.

Parting gift.

Just a few general interest pieces.

Do anything with the feature I suggested.

Frankly, I didn't think the student suicide rate warranted an 11 -part

All the figures aren't in yet.

A year ago, this sort of stuff might have had an effect.

I'm not so easy now.

Do you know whose fault that is?

Damn.

Magazine.

Just came round to say goodbye.

Oh, wow.

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

I'm just feeling a bit kind of dizzy or something. I get this way sometimes.

It passes.

Do you like a glass of water?

No, no.

You've got to go and look for digs.

I'll try and fit in a drink later.

It's probably just some kind of totally exhausting thing because of all this

work I'm doing.

On my own.

You are sick, Linda.

Oh, no, I'm fine. Stop worrying.

This isn't going to work.

I'm leaving now.

Oh, well, look.

Have a great time at university and take good care.

I think I'm about to pass out, so could you pin a note on me for the cleaners?

Goodbye, Linda. Forever.

I'm sure it's not that bad.

We can only hope.

Oh, good. She's dead.

Finally, I get to have a conversation with her where I say something.

And you know what I'm going to say?

I'm going to explain in blistering, non -stop detail what a lousy editor, what a

faceless friend, what a complete and utter selfish cow she is. And she's just

going to have to lie there and take it because the poor dear's unconscious,

right?

And it was a full hour before you phoned an ambulance.

I was talking to her.

She was unconscious.

It seemed like a good moment.

Can I see her now?

OK, come with me.

Basically, it's a case of nervous exhaustion.

I've explained to Amal that she's going to need complete rest for quite a while.

Sarah. Yeah?

Did you track the guards? They're not guards, Linda. They're doctors. Just lie

back. You're not well.

Remind me.

Is this a trick to make you stay?

Not this time.

You've got to sleep.

I don't want to sleep. Yes, you do.

I had this weird dream.

Oh, never mind about that.

Some kind of story.

All about a cow who was really evil.

Did lots of terrible things.

Oh. And it just seemed to come on and on.

Oh, not to worry.

On and on.

You've really got a fleek now.

You're so full of hate, Sarah.

Yeah, well, you know what dreams are like.

I phoned Kenny. He can handle it.

But Sarah, he's a guy.

He's got another decade in puberty.

Want me to stay with you for a while?

Mm -hm.

I don't need to be home for a bit. Want me to stay?

You sure?

It's no problem.

Great, thanks.

wouldn't have liked it at university anyway.

No, no, I didn't mean... I just meant to stay in the hospital for a bit, that's

all.

Linda?

Linda?

Problem? You've got a scalpel.

Or a phone.

Mum, you're getting hysterical.

Could you just stop screaming for a moment?

I've just got some things I need to do here, that's all.

I'm not cancelling university.

I'm just... You know, postponing it a bit.

A bit, huh?

It's not so easy finding the right moment.

Till today.

How can you say that unapproachable?

Well, you are.

Someone would have told me.

Could you for

once just listen to me? Go away.

I'm just saying tone down the act a little.

So that everyone in this newsroom isn't too scared to talk to you.

Be absent, Thompson.

Get out of my life. Make a hole in my peer group.

Look, someone here might, you know, have something to say to you.

Something that you ought to hear.

But nobody's going to say a word if they think that they're likely to get their

head torn off and spat in your out tray.

I want to know what you've done and her name.

That's it, we're finished. Julie, cancel all scheduled dates.

Oh, this is the fourth time this week.

These things aren't even sticky anymore. Just get on with it, please.

I keep slipping down.

He's had to date Franz twice.

Linda, please.

I'll tell you when to start begging.

Trying to soften her up for me.

Great job I did, huh?

It was a nice thought.

Hopeless, but nice.

Anybody else know this is your last day?

Not unless you've told them.

Don't do it like this.

You want me to give her a month's notice so she can find a way to stop me?

I want to go to university, Spike, and I'm going.

Out the back door. Not a word to anyone.

I've tried every other way.

Tell her.

I'll leave a note.

Nice little story, don't you think?

But like every story, there comes a time you know it's over.

Because suddenly it isn't fun anymore.

And suddenly you're wondering if it ever was.

Sorry and all that, but this time I think it has to be goodbye.

Not like this, Sarah.

Not a letter.

It's been fun.

I don't regret a day of it.

And I've learned a lot from you.

But I think you'd have to agree, things have become a little sour.

And more than a little unhealthy.

There has simply been too much that is unforgivable.

Look, phone her up. Talk to her. Would it kill you?

Just let me finish.

So I decided, me, not you, that it was time to end it.

And this is my parting gift.

Dear friend, in the friendliest possible way, you're fired.

Huh? Best wishes.

And all my love, Linda.

I... I thought... I know.

I bottled out of leaving, Spike.

I came back here to put my stuff back in my desk.

And I found this.

She guessed you were leaving.

I knew I never would.

Some girl.

Yeah.

So, why are you phoning me?

For a good reason.

You may hear about it.

Got to go now.

Sarah!

Damn.

Magazine.

You were being kind of unfair to him today, don't you think?

He's a good guy. I thought it was time you knew that.

A parking gift.

I was just finishing a letter when I heard you come in.

I thought I'd better... Hide.

I know.

Then why... I was psyching you out.

I think I can take you.

Or leave me.

Or leave?

Look... Get the hell out of my newsroom.

I may wise up any second.

Sorry Thanks You definitely aced it