All language subtitles for Press Gang s04e04 Love And War

What time does it land in LA?

Good.

And I can just pick up the ticket when I
get there, yeah?

No, not a return.

I don't know when I'll be coming back.

Okay.

This is James Thompson.

Leave a message. I'll get back to you.

Dad, it's me.

I booked my flight. I'm on my way.

I just wanted to share a thought with
you, though.

On a scale of one to ten, you stink.

And today was the stinkinest thing
you've ever done.

That's why I've got a few things I need
to get off of my chest right now.

First off... Spike!

I need your help. I'm in an urgent
situation situation.

I'm on the phone, Colin.

First off, I don't see why I should be
heading home on your account. I don't

recall you ever stirring your butt that
far for me. I just need you to look

after this case for a little while.

Go away.

But let's face it, Dad. Not stirring
your butt is about as close to a hobby

you've ever come.

Let me put this appeal on a more
personal basis, Spike. I'll give you a

Colin.

So, Dad, don't think what's happening
today makes any damn difference. Spike.

Colin. Will you want some? Oh, go shove
it.

Kid today, eh?

Colin!

Sorry about that, Dad. Just another joke
that I know.

What I'm trying to say is, ever since I
can remember, you've... Look, what the

hell is the matter with you?

Nothing. Good.

Oh, it's just that bullet wound I took
during the gun siege. It kind of flares

up when close friends start knocking me
about. You were never around, Dad.

Any time I ever needed any help... I'll
be okay, I expect.

any time I ever needed any help. It's
not so much the physical pain, of

It's the wound to my heart.

Sorry, Dad. I've got a bit of a
situation here.

Just give me your damn case. I'll look
after it. Just shut up, okay?

You're a prince, Spike. I thought I was
going to have to beg.

Look, what I'm trying to say is you were
never there for me at any time that it

ever mattered.

So why I should... Colin, what are you
doing?

Could you be a bit more specific, Spike?

You just cuffed your case to my wrist.

Well, you might drop it. What?

Well, it could hurt your foot.

Colin. Maybe I'd just better give you
the address.

What address?

The address where I want you to take the
case, that's all.

Colin, I'm not taking your damn case
anywhere.

Don't be silly, Spike. It's chained to
your wrist.

Dad, I gotta go.

But I got a lot more stuff that I need
to say to you. So hang on for the next

installment, okay?

Colin, what the hell are you up to?

Up to, Spike? That's a very untrusting
thing to say.

Colin, will you get this damn thing off
of me?

Spike, you said you'd help me, and now
you're going back on your word. I'm not

buying this, Colin.

We unlocked the damn cuff.

You wouldn't do that to your best mate
Colin, would you? You wouldn't split up

the old team.

It's you and me against the odds one
more time, old buddy. I guess we're in

together. Only because you chained me to
your damn case.

I knew you'd bring that up eventually.

Unlock it.

Look, it's a very simple business deal.
My uncle wants me to look after this

case for a few days and then deliver it
to a certain address.

Easy stuff, eh? So why don't you deliver
it yourself, then?

Well, it's not chained to me, is it?
Colin, I'm warning you.

Attention. Please do not cause
unnecessary shocks or agitation to this

This is Electron 2000 High Security
Briefcase.

What the hell kind of a case is this?

Actually, you're missing the big
question.

What's in it?

You've been sleeping here again?

No, I just thought this would be a great
look.

All right.

Sorry.

So what's in the case?

I'm not sure.

Well, from what little I know of your
uncle, anything he'd rather you looked

after than him is unlikely to be
entirely legal.

So when you reach the same conclusion,
what did you find inside?

Attention. Do not attempt to open this
case without the correct key and opening

procedure. This is a Vectron 2000 high
-security briefcase.

Whatever's in there, your uncle wants it
well looked after. Open it up.

I don't have the key.

Will you listen to the man?

I don't have the key.

Of all the dumb, unbelievable, and just
plain stupid answers you've ever come up

with, and we're talking some pretty
stiff opposition here, that is the

most unbelievable ever. I don't have the
key.

Remember those words, Colin, because
that is where I finally and forever

with you.

I don't have the key.

Now unlock the damn cuff!

I hope you know any damage will be
coming out of your pocket, my lad.

Colin, shut up!

Satisfied? You've got Linda mad at me
now.

Colin, why don't you go and find that
key you're pretending you don't have?

Right.

I'll just go and do that.

I guess some people just don't have a
sense of humour anymore, eh, Linda?

What else does there have to be?

I'm sorry.

I was talking to my dad today.

Dad always kind of winds me up, you
know.

I thought you guys only spoke in
emergencies.

There's an emergency?

Yeah, I guess.

Family?

So, you're slipping in the newsroom
again, huh?

Only now and then, when I finish late.

I thought you promised Kenny you
wouldn't do that after we left.

I gave him my solemn word of honour. He
always felt that.

Annoying, isn't it? You put a key down
somewhere, then you go and look for it,

and it's not there.

Colin. It can only happen to us free
crazies, though, right?

Colin, just go find the key.

Always kills the mood, doesn't it?

Colin, one question.

You wanted Spike to deliver the case
instead of you. Obviously there's a

so who else is after it?

Well, there are a couple of my uncle's
former business associates, yes.

Business associates?

Yes, business associates.

Harry the Hammer and Blind Jake.

And who exactly are they?

Well, I don't know, do I? I've never met
them.

And plainly you're not anxious to?

Well, it was fair in love and war. Go
find the key, Colin.

Remember, guys, eh? Love and war. Love
and war.

I've got to go back to the States.

But don't panic. I'll be back.

I don't know when, but I will be back.

Who's panicking?

Look, I'd like it just for once if we
didn't play games, OK?

No, you wouldn't.

So what's happened back home?

I don't think I want to talk about it.

Fair enough.

What do you suppose is in the case?

Well, you could try a little harder with
me. I'm having kind of a crisis here.

You said you didn't want to talk about
it.

Actually, Linda, in a situation like
this, most people would try and coax me

little, you know?

You want me to coax you?

I'm just saying it would be normal
behaviour under the circumstances,

all. Do you want to be coaxed, yes or
no?

Well, most people would give it a shot.

You mean they'd try and get you to talk
about it, is that what you're saying?

They'd coax me, yeah.

Well, go on, then.

No.

You know, there could be a story in
this.

What is it with you? You never have time
for anybody, do you?

Right, can we talk about this later? You
never give an inch to another living

being, except for some reason, that
little creep in there.

Calling can be useful.

Oh, and so as long as he's useful, the
Linda Days Junior Gazette, he can be

selling off the news team for spare
parts surgery.

He gets his own little office, his own
private phone line, even his own secret

way out.

long gone.

Terrific.

I'm having a major personal crisis
chained to a talking briefcase.

Alongside probably the most
unsympathetic human being in history

the Hun had a bad day.

My coat.

I gotta get a plane in the morning.

How comes every time I try to leave this
country I get attached to some baggage?

Last time you were attached to me.

Right.

Okay, let's apply our intelligence to
this.

Well, mine anyway.

No games, Linda.

I just want to get rid of this thing.

So we need a key.

And whoever you were supposed to deliver
to must have one.

Yeah.

Well?

I don't know. Colin, look down the
address.

So we substitute for Colin at the
delivery, get you uncuffed to get the

opened, and depending on what's inside,
possibly a duty little front page.

Yeah, and what if Harry the Hammer and
Blind Jake turn up? We could do with a

couple of interviews.

You know, if we could just keep Colin's
name out of this, it has real potential.

Maybe I should give Sarah a ring. Linda,
getting me uncuffed is our priority

here. Of course it is.

Well, mine anyway.

A dress?

Marvin Bixby heals and holds promotion
at Somerset House.

He'll be there after 11.

I'd better get some clothes on.

You know what's always bugged me about
you?

You always think I'm such a complete
jerk.

You ever heard of parental pride, huh?

You ever heard of taking an interest?

Because there are some people who kind
of consider me an alright person, you

know? Do you know what would have been
good?

If one lousy time I'd walked in on you
and your butt -scratching pals, you

hadn't gone into your gag routine about
what a zero I am.

My son's a zero, just like his dad.

Well, I'm not a zero, Dad.

That's one thing that isn't running in
the family.

I'm not a zero.

Thanks.

You've had a fight with your dad. Is
that what it is?

I've had a million fights with my dad.

Tonight I've got to win them all.

You look very fetching. Blue collar.
It's a good look for you.

This is way over the top, Spike. Well,
you want to get into Bixby's office

before he does, don't you? If we can
find the key before he arrives, we've

the upper hand. But why can't we just...
Yeah, okay. So trust me.

I hate it when you do this.

Excuse me.

Hi, Rock Thompson.

This is my assistant, Lucretia. Could we
have the key to Mr. Bixby's office,

please? Why? We want to get it sprayed
for tomorrow.

Sprayed? You have been told about this.

About what?

Um, just as a matter of interest, Mr.

Saunders, have you had any dealings with
Mr. Bixby today?

Well, he said good morning. How close
was he?

Is there something wrong with Mr. Bixby?

Can I rely on your complete discretion,
Mr. Saunders?

Oh, yeah.

We think it's the Black Death.

Right. You take the death car, I'll take
the cupboard.

Even if we can't conclude what's in the
case.

Did you ever talk to my dad much when he
was over here?

Well, you never really let me, did you?

It was always like you were embarrassed.

Yeah, well, there's a lot to be
embarrassed about, right? Well, from all

things you said, I was expecting a beer
gut stubble and belching.

Yeah, okay, so I talked that up a
little. A lot.

You liked him.

Well, he reminded me of you.

One problem at a time, huh?

Do you remember those Tom and Jerry
cartoons?

When I was a little kid, we used to play
at those in the backyard.

Except I never wanted to be Tom.

Cats aren't exactly macho. And sure as
hell wasn't going to be a mouse, right?

So I always had to be the dog.

Do you remember the dog?

Sure, despite the bulldog.

You're kidding me.

Yeah, I don't know, sometime.

You named yourself after the dog in Tom
and Jerry?

It just happens sometimes, you know?
Fathers and sons, they don't get on.

There's nothing you can do about it.

Of course there is.

I meant every lousy thing I ever said
about him, Linda.

Well, like Colin said, all's fair in
love and war.

Spike Thompson.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, Colin told me you were on your way
round.

Who's this?

Uh, my assistant.

Do we need her?

Miss Borgia, if you could just wait for
me outside, please.

Now, you tell old man Matthews this is
the last time. I don't owe him any more

favours. OK.

How did you get in here, by the way?
Does it matter? Can we, uh, just deal

the cup, please?

Sure.

Now, you'd better get going. That's my
part of it, Oven.

Hey! What the hell's going on here? What
are you doing?

Well, you came here to collect the case,
didn't you? No, no, I came to deliver a

case.

Now, why would Colin have told you a
thing like that?

Well, as a guest, he had to give Spike a
reason to come here. Picking up a case

wouldn't do it. But getting uncut from
one might.

Exactly.

We're very interested in the contents of
these cases, Mr. Bixby. It's hard to

imagine what could justify such a high
degree of security.

Right, must be some favor you owe. Are
you guys from Harry the Hammer?

Blind Jake.

Linda Day, Junior Gazette.

By the way, do you have a recent
photograph of yourself?

Going well, isn't it?

Dad.

Well, this time I was going to be
reasonable.

This time I was going to say all the
good stuff about you.

Only the thing is, I can't find the
words.

I don't know the words.

Look, we're just father and son, okay?

We're just related, that's all.

Doesn't mean to say there has to be any
love.

Linda!

Yes?

It just opened. It just came off of my
wrist.

What were you doing?

Nothing. Just talking.

Talking?

You know, there's a point we've been
missing here. We've been looking for a

all this time and there aren't any
keyholes.

So how the hell do you unlock it?

If you were talking on the phone, the
cuff would be right at your mouth.

What was the last thing you said when
the cuff opened?

Hmm?

Well, the lock could be voice activated.
The key could be a word.

Love. Last thing I said was love.

Love. Love.

Now try this one.

Love. Keyword correct.

Accent permitted.

This is a Vectron 2000 high -security
briefcase.

And war.

The other keyword is war.

Do you remember what Colin said when he
went out? Love and war, guys.

He couldn't resist parading it under our
noses.

More.

Keyword correct. Access permitted. This
is a Vectron 2000 high -security

briefcase.

Why, don't get this.

I've spent the entire evening delivering
nothing.

What's the point of a high -security
briefcase that protects nothing?

Collins Games.

Who knows what the hell it's about?

Well, I'm going to find out. The
answer's got to be in there somewhere.

Spike, there's no point.

Linda, I'm not spending the entire
evening chained to an increasing number

briefcases and not knowing the reason
why.

What happened yesterday, Spike?

Look, I just want to find out what Colin
was up to with these cases, OK? One

problem at a time.

All right, I'll try and be logical about
this.

Oh, that'll be comforting.

You keep phoning your dad's answering
machine, but you never say what you mean

to. Otherwise, you wouldn't have to keep
on phoning, right?

Very illogical. Am I right?

I don't know what's gone on between you
and your dad, but I think you should try

and get it sorted.

Straight talking might help.

Want to be alone?

Definitely not.

Look, I guess what I've really been
trying to say from the start is that I

really am sorry.

I'm sorry for all that stuff that I
said.

Because I don't get a chance to take it
back now.

And I'm sorry that we've been fighting
solidly ever since I can remember.

Because it just got too late to make it
up.

And I'm sorry that the best way I can
find to speak into you now is by leaving

you a bunch of dumb messages on an
answer phone that you're never going to

But I guess we always did have
communication difficulties, right?

I kind of feel like you didn't let me
finish.

What a dirty trick, Dad.

One day we're yelling at each other on
the phone, and the next you pull a fatal

heart attack.

What a tactic.

Well, you see if I'll let you do that
again.

I'm running out of things to say here,
Dad.

Not as much as I always thought.

I don't miss you like hell, Dad.

Well, I got no one to prove wrong
anymore, have I?

Well, almost no one.

I guess that's it.

Goodbye forever.

And, uh, all of that.

I'm sorry, Spike.

Well, Mom's gone, and, uh,

The bad's dead.

I guess that makes me an orphan, right?

Could solve the problem of our
relationship.

I'll adopt you.

Let go, Spike.

You crazy guy.

I love you. You got the case in.

Listen.

Gotta dash.

I loved your input.

Let's do sushi.

Colin.

Yeah? I just gotta know.

We figured out that the cases are some
kind of payoff from Bixby to your uncle.

Right, exactly.

But there's nothing in them.

I get it. There's a secret compartment
or something.

No.

Well, what's the payoff?

What's everybody after?

Well, isn't it obvious?

The cases.

They're absolutely the latest thing.
Cost a fortune.

Bixby's firm is doing the marketing. He
said he'd slip my uncle a couple of

freebies. Well, one freebie, actually.
We managed to talk him up to two, and

that's why there was a second delivery
tonight.

Those business types, eh?

So, you managed to figure out the
keywords?

Yeah, love and war.

Clever, eh?

Love and war.