All language subtitles for Press Gang s03e06 Holding On

Look, we'll just fire Bennett and
Simpson tomorrow and we'll leave Ross

next month. And the tall one from
Features, I want him out too.

I just told you his name, the tall one.

What do you mean they're all tall?

We'll fire the tallest.

And the explosion on the south side, the
chemicals factory, how are we covering

that? You've got to promise not to
laugh. Promise?

It isn't funny for them.

I'm sure it isn't. This is a great story
and I don't want to lose it. One giggle

out of you. Look, will you trust me? I'm
not going to laugh.

Sarah, have you told him how serious it
is?

As it happens, Kenny, this is not an
amusing situation.

Kenny.

My nose is practically flat.

It's all part of the same thing. Take it
seriously. I will. I promise.

So why is your finger stuck to your
nose? You'll see.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Alec and Moira Connell, this is Kenny
Phillips and Colin Matthews. Hi. Hello.

Sorry about me nose.

Hello. I can hardly breathe, you know.

As you can see, Colin is also a victim
of Mr Maringo's curious sense of humour.

I don't think there's anything funny
about this.

I may have to stick a straw up my
nostril.

Alec, could you start by telling Kenny
what you told me?

Well... First of all, we're not entirely
sure it was Mr Moringa, are we, dear?

No, it just seems likely.

But in view of what you've told us. So,
what's the problem? Divorce the bitch.

What? That's the problem. Divorce the
bitch.

Sorry. Please, I did ask you, don't use
that word. What word?

Problem. Divorce the bitch, darling.

Every time somebody says that word, Alex
says divorce the bitch.

I can't help it. I just have to say it.
Right, like I can't get me finger off me

nose.

The thing is, it's starting to affect my
work.

Really?

I'm a marriage guidance counsellor.

Yeah, I can see how that might be a bit
of a problem. Divorce the bitch!

Some information on Mr Moringo might
help you out.

Oh, I see.

And what would you say if I told you
Fras and I have a plan to catch Moringo

the act?

Anyway, Dave, got to go. It's two o
'clock and I'm only on item five of my

schedule.

That's right, Spike.

See you.

So, what do you think of the new office?

Fortieth floor.

Some elevator, right? I think I've got
jet lag.

Up here you don't have to pray.

You just lean out the window.

Oh, I thought he'd be leaning in by now.

Well, sure. I was joking.

Right then, Spike. It's been lovely.

Wednesday, item six.

Doesn't look like we'll be able to
afford Daniel Campbell's salary much

Suggest we sign him to a war zone.

Linda, you and I need to talk.

If you could manage to stop thinking
about your precious schedule for maybe a

whole eight seconds, you and I need a
serious talk.

Look, can we squeeze it in before seven?
I'm out tonight.

No, cancel.

Spike, I can't. This guy's an important
contact for me.

I need to keep on his good side.

Oh, really? And what interesting joint
activities will that involve?

Don't be disgusting.

I'm just going to butter him up.

Look, this is perfectly straightforward
and aboveboard. I'm simply going out for

a pleasant social evening with a good
friend in order to further my career.

So it wouldn't be the slightest bit
awkward if I was to come along?

Why would it be?

Good.

One thing, though.

What?

Could you bring a date?

That's it. I've had it with you.

Well, I've had it with you, too. You're
becoming pathetic.

And you're becoming a work -obsessed,
amoral megalomaniac.

I'm sorry, Spike. It's too late to try
and get back in with me.

I'm out of here for good. You've said it
before, Thompson. You've been saying it

since the Junior Gazette. You have a fat
chance I had back then. You stole my

passport, remember?

Well, you could have got a new one. It
isn't difficult.

You stayed because you wanted to.
Because I wanted to.

I had Zoe waiting for me back in the
States.

Zoe? You're still on about Zoe?

Spike, she was a glammed -up airhead
bimbo. Yeah, and she really liked me.

Well, I never stopped you seeing her.

Linda, you ran a front -page feature
exposing her as the head of an

international drug syndicate.

She's doing life. I suppose next you'll
be saying I'm jealous.

I'm just going to tell you one thing,
Linda Day.

If I ever got a shot at doing my whole
life over again, no way are you going to

be part of it. Oh, I see.

And it would be happy ever after with
Zoe, would it?

It might just be.

Well, go for it.

What do you mean?

Isn't it obvious?

This is a dream, dummy.

Hello. Spike, hi, it's Kenny.

Oh, Kenny.

Listen, can I interest you in the
weirdest story in Junior Gazette

What? You OK?

Fine, I just woke up, that's all.

Listen, we need you to go to the theatre
with Linda.

Linda.

Hey, Kenny, can I ask you a really dumb
question?

Of course, as long as I can snigger
about it with my friends afterwards.

Do you think dreams can predict the
future?

What? Well, you know, like, tell you how
things are going to turn out and that

sort of stuff.

Hang on, there's somebody at the door.

All right, no problem.

Divorce the bitch.

Guess I got a little tired of waiting
for you to come home.

Zoe!

He really is astonishing.

The best hypnotist act I've ever seen.

He gets his people up on the stage and
you can't imagine what he gets them

doing.

Poor suckers.

So, try and get down here and see him. I
think we could do business.

Oh, one problem. He's got a kind of
funny sense of humour.

You know, sending people out still doing
all kinds of weird stuff.

He made a maths teacher forget the
number five. That sort of thing.

I don't know why he does it, really.
Probably some sort of self -publicity

thing. Anyway, I've just been in talking
to him and I think I got somewhere.

I told him that if we're going to
represent him, he's going to have to cut

stuff out.

I think he got the message.

Look, I'll be back in London sometime
this afternoon. Let's get together, talk

some things over.

Can you hear me clearly enough?

I can't quite make you out.

I think there's something wrong with
this phone.

Linda!

You took your time.

Behind schedule, am I?

Hey, I'm joking.

Mike, you're exactly one minute late.
I'm not going to hound you for that.

What kind of monster do you think I am?
Yeah, right.

Sorry. You can easily make up the time
tomorrow.

Now, did Kenny tell you the plan? To
trap our mad hypnotist. He was vague.

Look, before we get down to that, Linda,
we need to talk.

Yeah, you're right. We'd better.

You want to as well, without checking
your diary first?

Well, I think we all.

Well, it never occurred to me that you'd
send something wrong, too.

No offense, but do you mind if I go
first?

No, I'm not.

Time's kind of hard.

I almost get embarrassed. Isn't that
crazy?

Okay, my problem is this, Linda.

It's kind of like a choice, you know.

Zoe, my girl back in the States.

Okay, so she's a bit of a bimbo. She's
not too bright.

Well, she's nothing compared to you in
any department, and I don't deny it.

But... She's easy to be with.

Easy on my life.

But I know we never quite got it
together this time around.

And maybe here and now is not the time
and the place to say it.

And believe me, I'll deny I ever did say
it to your face if necessary.

But you are something special in the
day.

Not easy, no way easy, but very, very
special.

Where's all this going?

I don't know.

Maybe the same place you are. You wanted
to talk too.

I just wanted to check the equipment was
working.

How's it doing, Fred?

Fine. Every word. Clear as a bell. Good.
Hi, Spike.

Hi, Spike.

Hi. Bill, this is Spike.

Hi. It's Phil's equipment we've been
using.

You guys were listening?

Didn't Kenny tell you about this?

Sarah? This guy Maringo's been pulling
some pretty unfunny tricks on anyone he

can get his hands on in every town he's
played.

Tell me about it.

And to think I was offered him my
personal management.

So you and I knock on his dressing room
door and say we're fans.

On past evidence, he's likely to try
something with us. And we've got him on

tape. Not to mention on our front page.

You guys were listening?

Come on, let's get started.

Didn't it occur to you that that was a
private conversation?

Don't be silly. Everyone was listening.

I know.

I said some private and personal stuff
there. It wasn't that private and

personal. Oh, it was, really.

Do you want to play that?

Give me that.

Did you actually manage to listen to one
word that I said to you while I was

pouring my heart out?

I'll get a moment later.

I'll say one thing for her. She's got a
great way of stopping me from feeling

guilty.

Guilty about what?

Hello, Junior Gazette.

No, she's not here at the moment. Can I
take a message?

I'm putting you on hold.

Kenny? Yeah? It's the American Embassy
in London.

They want to talk to Linda about a
stolen passport.

Oh, sorry to disturb you, Mr Maringo.

We were wondering if we could have an
autograph.

Excuse me, Amanda.

What are they going to do to us?

Nothing he won't undo once he finds out
who we are. If he succeeds in doing

anything at all, that is.

It's you and me because we're strong
personalities. We only have to catch him

the attempt.

I thought it was just you had strong
personalities.

Thanks from both of us. This is good
stuff.

Jackpot.

I do still need to talk to you.

Look, I've still got the tape. About my
passport.

Sorry about that.

Do come in.

Thank you.

How about a little demonstration?

We've got him.

Hello, can I help you?

I'm looking for Linda Day.

He's not in right now.

Well, we need to speak to her very
urgently.

We have information that she has stolen
a passport.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you how
very serious this is.

No, you don't.

The passport must be returned
immediately.

And you must be Zoe.

I think the American embassy getting
involved is a long shot.

Anyway, I just phoned them, and they
don't have a call through to us.

So who's female, American, and wants
Spike to get his passport back?

You must be Kenny.

Now grip hard.

Hard as you can.

As if you're never going to let go.

That's right.

So, um, we're in England.

I'll be back in the States by tomorrow
with Spike.

If you can find Spike's passport.

We'll find it.

Look, has it occurred to you that if he
really wanted to go back, he could have

got a new one by now?

Look, Spike said he'd be back here at 5
o 'clock. He promised me that, and

that's all there is to it.

has been taped.

Spike, this better not be you with some
lame -brained excuse.

It's just like Colin with his nose.

You really can't budge those fingers?

Yes.

Hi, Zoe.

Hey, listen, this is going to be quite
hard to explain.

Then don't. Spike, if you're not back
here in ten minutes, we're finished.

Understand? Finished?

I don't believe this.

So Zoe's back.

You might have told me. You might have
let me.

Sorry, it looks like you're stuck.

It'll wear off. Come on, let's get back
to the newsroom. Hey, no way. I've got

to get back and see Zoe.

I've no particular wish to meet Zoe,
thank you.

And if I don't get back and explain
this, I'm a dead man.

Well, look on the bright side. When she
sees you hand in hand with me, you're a

dead man anyway. Sarah Paul.

Grant me a hand.

Colin, you'd better go on my end.

I'll just take the time. Damn it, we all
let go. I can't, and neither can you.

Then you're coming with me.

Mike, this is ridiculous. I don't want
to meet Zoe. It's going to be very

embarrassing for me.

through and go and see if you can get
something together. Maybe three columns.

It's not your average romance, is it?

Colin, I... Yeah?

Wrong hand, Colin.

Shh.

Zoe?

Zoe?

Zoe?

I can hear you, as a matter of fact.

It took a long time getting back.

Yeah, well, I'm going.

Look, I got something I need to explain
to you here.

If it's got anything to do with Linda
Day, Spike, I'm going to kill you.

Ah, I see.

You know why I'm not looking at you,
Spike?

Because when you're lying, I can always
see it in your face.

So if you don't answer this next
question truthfully, I'm going to throw

Walkman at you.

Is there anything between you and Linda
Day? Of course not.

Hey, what was that for? I'm telling you
the truth. There was nothing between me

and Linda Day. Oh, I'm sorry, Spike.
It's just, well... I was talking to that

Kenny guy earlier, and I guess he got me
a bit worked up.

Well, that's Kenny for you. Brutal with
women.

Your uncle said he wouldn't be back till
quite late.

How late?

What's wrong?

Well, it's getting dark outside. He
might get attacked by criminals.

What are you talking about?

Shut up and put your arm around me.

What, now?

Yes, now.

Spike, we haven't been together for a
week.

Why don't you put your arm around me?

Well, it's such a big step.

Spike. Okay, okay.

I'll put my arm around you.

I will.

I'm just about to.

Here we are.

That's better.

She's a real bitch settling today, isn't
she?

Well, that's kind of a tricky question.

Tricky? She stole your passport.

She's a cold -hearted, selfish bitch.

Ouch. Ouch.

Spike, stop. You're hurting me. I am?

Spike, stop it. I'll stop.

Right now.

And I'll give it a rub.

You're in a real crazy mood.

I just had to kiss you better.

Spike! Sorry, just a twitch.

You are in control of this hand, aren't
you?

Oh, yeah, yeah, complete control.

Spike! Stop getting hysterical!

You're getting hysterical. I had to slap
your face.

You are out of your mind.

No, no, I'm not. I'm not.

Spike!

What have I done to your arm?

I expect you're surprised to see me.

Oh, by the way.

I believe this is yours.

Zoe!

Didn't go that smoothly, did it?

Hello, Linda Date.

Linda, I found out the truth about the
hypnotist story.

Get back to the newsroom as fast as you
can.

Zoe. I'm telling you the truth.

And here comes the proof.

Looks like Colin got his nose fixed.

Sorry we're a bit late. I'll let Mr
Moringa do the talking.

His name's John Hardy, by the way.

I'll keep this brief as it's hardly in
my interest to annoy you any further.

Alex Connell has never been a marriage
guidance counsellor.

He's also never been hypnotised.

He was pretending to because he was paid
to, as was the man you saw outside the

theatre talking to his shoe, as were all
my other victims, apart from Colin.

He was the one who paid them.

You're his manager, aren't you?

You set this whole thing up to get in
publicity on our front page.

I'm afraid that's correct.

You'd be surprised how good this kind of
publicity can be.

Sorry,

Linda. That damn bullet wound.

During the gun siege, while I was
negotiating for your life.

I'll just put it down and lie down.

Try not to worry.

Go on. One thing you must understand is
I never expected to succeed in

hypnotising you two.

Why? Because I'm a fake.

Well, I don't know.

The nearest I can figure is that you two
must have a great need to hang on to

each other.

Mr. Marengo, I think we should step
outside for a chat.

Yes, yes, of course.

Spike, we're booked on a 6 a .m. flight
tomorrow.

If you love me and not her, you'll be
able to let go.

Well Spike, can you let me go?

My Junior Gazette rule book?

There's no such thing.

at 35 ,000 feet with a ground speed of
600 miles an hour.

Good flying weather, and we hope to be
touching down in California in about 10

hours' time.

That'll be 8 a .m. local time.

So settle back in your seats and enjoy
the flight.

Regrets?

No, not really.

It's like a story that came to its
natural end.

Yeah.

Morning, Kenny.

Morning, boss.

You seem very cheery today.

Maybe it's because I'm ending one
chapter of my life and starting a whole

one, full of new excitements and new
challenges.

Linda, you know that tape Sarah told me
about? The one where Spike calls Zoe a

bimbo and says that you're terrific?

I'd love to hear it sometime.

You know what, Kenny?

I think I may have misplaced it
somewhere.