All language subtitles for Press Gang s03e04 The Last Word 1.eng

So far, nothing is known of the attacker
beyond a description of an armed man

wearing a combat jacket and, bizarrely,
a clown mask.

Now, barely minutes after the tragic end
of the siege, questions are beginning

to be asked. Perhaps most important of
all, why did the gunman choose the

offices at the Junior Gazette?

Still unknown is the name of the Gazette
staff worker shot and killed in today's

siege. Also unknown is the identity of
the killer. So far there has been no

of an arrest.

Practically the only thing we can be
certain of is that there was at least

death.

Excuse me.

Now the offices of the Young News team
stand suddenly empty. The offices where,

for the last few hours, they have been
battling for their lives.

Hey, there was a clown out there a
moment ago.

Never mind, you're here now.

You look nice today, boss. Who dressed
you? I got up in the dark.

Oh, what a night.

If I keep this up pretty soon, I'll be
in a specimen jar label. Wow.

I heard you're only still alive today
because science got your body back. So

many women. I can't exactly remember all
their names.

I expect I've got them tattooed
somewhere.

Well, knowing you, Spike, you'd better
get someone to read them to you. Well,

that's a good idea. Find me a blonde who
reads with her finger. Find me a blonde

who doesn't. I hate to interrupt, boss.

But according to your schedule, you've
got a budget meeting with Kerr. This is

flirt time with Spike, top of the page.

I stand corrected.

It's over, Linda.

It has been for a long time. Why don't
you know that?

You and me, Spike, we're held together
by a force even stronger than true love.

Which is?

We both want the last word.

Yeah, well, I don't have to answer that.

See what I mean?

the last two finance reports.

So how much begging are you going to
have to do at this budget meeting?

This is my shortest skirt.

That bad?

I've considered taking the hem off.

Again?

Where the hell are they? They should be
here.

Colin. Can I borrow your calculator?

Isn't my calculator the one I borrowed
from you?

I was being ironic.

Thanks for caring.

Is this the armour for Garfield?

So I've got a temper.

Where are the last two finance reports?

I'm not going to lie to you, Linda. I
stole them. For what reason did you

them? I didn't want you going to the
budget meeting without me, kid. I hate

seeing you out of your depth.

What? It pains me to say this about my
own editor, Linda, but on previous

occasions I have noticed a certain
bluntness about your negotiating

Specifically, don't throw the ashtray.

Where are the reports?

Linda!

Insane, both of them.

Absolutely insane.

Still, they say the first line of
madness is talking to yourself.

Who said that? Was that me? I don't
know.

Uh, Kenny?

Hello?

Hello, can I help you?

Who's in charge here?

Well, you've got my vote.

Oh, no.

Look.

No one's going to get hurt, all right?

Understand?

Yeah, we understand.

Right. Right!

Just everyone, you know, stay where they
are.

Okay?

Okay?

Good.

Would you like us to put our hands up or
something?

No.

No, that's all right.

But thanks.

Excuse me. Yes?

It's a burglary.

Not that I'm trying to rush you or
anything.

No, no.

It's not a burglary.

What is it? Shut up!

Just shut up, okay?

Everyone just stay quiet. Stay still.

We're going to be fine.

Got me?

Yeah, quiet and still. That's right.
That's good.

We've all just got to stay calm.

Oh, hell.

I need to go to the toilet.

Kenny, I'm going to head straight over.
Matt said it was important, so I really

don't want to be... Here, the town is
still reeling from the shock events of

yesterday, and already there has been
strong criticism of the police handling

the siege, in which one of the Junior
Gazette's news team was shot and killed.

Sorry.

Are you all right?

Look, I didn't mean to.

Are you okay?

Everyone, just stay calm.

Stay where they are. You're okay.

I bet you got a bigger fright than I
did.

Well, you're not kidding.

What am I going to use for a mirror now?
Okay, that's enough.

Just stay calm.

This is the kind of thing that can make
a girl insecure about her looks.

Yeah, well, what have I told you about
smiling and reflective surfaces?

And who knows more than you? Look, no
talking, okay?

Just shut up!

Sorry.

Right, right, good, now.

Who's in charge here?

I am.

I'm the editor.

You? Yeah, what about it?

You're Linda Day.

Well, Linda's not here right now. I kind
of take over while she's not around.

It's you, isn't it?

Wrong day to power dress.

I want to talk to you.

Why? Because I do, and I've got a gun.

You, over here, slowly.

No.

Look, nothing's going to happen, all
right?

We're all just nice and sensible, and if
we all just do what I say... Right,

good. Now, over here.

That's right.

Over to me.

Sit here.

Come on, sit.

Sit down.

Linda. No.

I said sit down.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm not sitting.

You've got the count of three.

Don't think I won't. In your own time,
then.

One.

There are 20 people in this room, and I
think you might be about to start a

major panic.

I've got a gun.

Think you can handle a riot?

Two. No, I don't either.

I've got a gun.

I've got a stampede, and you've got your
back to it.

It won't do anything.

You're probably right.

Three.

So let's just stay calm and sensible,
and no one will get hurt.

Oh, Linda.

That stuff you gave me.

College store. Yeah?

That's a dead duck. I told you from the
start.

Kenny, you got that interview stuff we
did last time?

Yeah, hang on. I'm sure we filed it.

Eddie, didn't you do some photo stuff on
that?

I'll check.

By the way, still don't know what to do
about the tent to spread.

Oh, we'll get to you. Well, it's not
exactly front page stuff, is it?

Tell them to stop.

20 people, one gun.

Can you get a chair for our friend here?
I believe he wants to talk to us.

And I have a feeling it might be a
complaint.

You know, when I became assistant
editor, I kind of hoped there'd be some

-fetching opportunities.

I'm warning you... What do I call you,
by the way, Mr Clown?

I've got a gun.

You've got to show me respect.

Fair enough.

I'll call you Mr Garfield.

What are you doing?

Phoning. The police?

What's he got to phone the police about?

I've got this.

Yes, but you're not going to use it.

Want some coffee?

Kenny, could you make us some?

Coffee making.

That's another thing I've always wanted
a shot at.

If you'll pardon the expression.

What do you take?

Look, I'm in charge, OK?

What do you take?

Milk. No sugar.

We got milk? There was a bottle in the
fridge.

Hey, that's mine. I spat in it. Yeah?

I did too.

And me. Me too.

Oh, I didn't spike. I didn't realise it
was yours.

You guys really disgust me. Do you know
that?

Oh, look on the boys' side. That ball's
really lasted.

It's true.

You did a thing about the gun club.

And?

You said people who like guns, they're
all nutters, all weirdos.

Is that what we said, Sarah?

I suggested that the kind of people who
get a kick out of tools for killing

other people are just the sort of people
who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near

them. Sounded like sanity to me,
speaking from the receiving end.

Well, I'm going to prove something to
you.

A gun makes you a man.

I think you've got your biology a little
confused there.

Absolutely.

It's a car.

You're pretending like this isn't
happening.

This is happening.

You sure?

You went a little crazy today, just long
enough to get hit with a gun.

But you also got lucky, too, because
nobody's got hurt, and no one outside

room even knows that it's happening.

You're just back from the edge.

If you're smart, you'll stay there.

You just have to put the gun down.

We won't tell anyone this happened.

You put the gun down, and your family
don't ever have to know, your friends,

one.

One little moment of craziness. What the
hell?

Next time you get mad, just be mean to
someone you love.

Throw dishes at them like a civilized
person.

And after all that, we seem to be out of
milk.

Never mind.

I'll just spit in it myself.

So why not just leave the gun here?

You have my word, no one will ever know.

Attention! This is the police.

Attention! We have the buildings
surrounded.

I repeat, the buildings... Nobody move,
okay?

Nobody move!

Look,

come on, we're getting somewhere. The
police are here.

I know, but... How are you going to keep
it a secret now?

May as well go out for the bang, right?

With me now is Detective Inspector
Hibbert, who is in charge of the police

siege.

Inspector, there's been a lot of
criticism as to the way you handled the

How would you respond to that?

We handled the situation as we thought
best, given what we knew at the time.

Obviously, this kind of situation is
never really predictable in any way.

It's been suggested that the killing of
one of the Gazette staff was a direct

result of the police intervention, a
panic reaction.

Do you have any regrets about the way
the siege was conducted?

Obviously, the loss of life was
extremely regrettable.

As was the way that the killer was able
to escape from a building that you had

entirely surrounded at the time.

Obviously, we are pursuing lines of
inquiry into how that happened.

It's not clear.

At this stage, how it was possible.

And do you as yet have any clue to the
identity of the killer?

Not at this stage, no.

It'll be the police.

I don't want to talk to them.

Smart move.

Ask me why.

What'll you do?

He's jumpy, isn't he?

Why? They mustn't hear your voice.

They'll tape it and later they might be
able to identify it.

And there's still a way out of this for
you.

Ask me how.

If we just knew when he'd get his next
fright.

Like 11 o 'clock.

Okay, how?

Don't you think I should answer the
phone first?

We don't want it getting restless out
there.

I want to hear what you're saying.

Linda.

Do you want me to put the phone on the
speaker?

That way you'll hear every word.

Fine. Right.

Set it up, Kenny.

Hurry up.

Ready to go now, boss.

Hello, Junior Gazette.

This is Detective Inspector Hibbert,
Norbridge Police.

Who am I speaking to?

Linda Day, editor.

What is your situation?

We heard a shot.

No one was hurt and our situation is
relaxed.

We have a slight problem, but if you
guys went away, then it might too.

I want to speak to the man who was
holding you.

That isn't a possibility.

But I'll tell you what he wants.

We're listening.

Out of here scot -free.

Just remove all your men and the
situation is over.

I'm afraid that isn't a possibility.

That's all it will take and this problem
is gone.

I'd still like to speak to the man who
is holding you.

Let me be clearer. You are the problem.
Go.

I'm sure you understand that we can't be
sure of the situation in there.

I'm telling you. At gunpoint.

Ignore what I'm about to say. There's
still another way out of this.

Inspector, please listen to me.

If you don't give this guy a clean way
out, then someone here is going to get

hurt.

Maybe badly.

That's a high price to pay for a collar.

Linda, we can't know what effect our
withdrawal is going to have.

Put yourself in my position.

I would dearly like to.

Look, I'm going to have to hang up,
okay? If you must.

We're keeping this line open.

We just have to lift the phone to speak.

Understood. Oh, no, wait.

There's someone here who wants to talk
to you. Your boss.

Mr. Kerr, he edited the parent paper.

What? Where did he go?

Is there a problem?

Just a moment, Linda.

Well, stop it!

Linda, it appears your boss may have
done something rather foolish.

Don't shoot! He's coming in! Who? My...

Don't shoot, don't shoot.

Colin? What the hell do you mean, my
boss?

Hey, you're the editor, Linda, but I
handle the money, get real.

Who is this?

Don't shoot, he's a jerk.

Linda.

Do you have to keep pointing at me, gun
-wise?

It's just that I've got a naturally high
fear level. Probably if you were just a

bit cross with me, that would do it.

Is this some kind of trick?

Hey, no.

I'm with you. I'm on the team with
firepower, right?

Is this going to do? Welcome to the
Junior Gazette.

Colin, what are you doing back in here?

You've put yourself in danger and you're
not exactly helping us either.

Her and me, we always fight like this.
It's a soulmate thing.

You know what's going down out there?

There's a lot of big guys with
truncheons and they're getting very

Now, they haven't heard much from you
people and they're starting to talk

getting a bit more direct. You know what
I'm saying?

They're going to move in?

Promise me you're being extra careful
with that gun. I'm closer now. The

don't have so far to go.

Well, I'm here to tell you guys you're
running out of time.

And I figured what you need was a high
-class, fast -talking negotiator.

You came in here just to do that? And
you knew I had a gun?

That's very brave of you, Colin, but
actually we were managing.

Well, you know how it is, Linda.
Sometimes these situations need a little

the old positive sales talk.

For the record, I didn't throw the
ashtray.

I don't believe you.

What? This is some kind of trick.

No tricks, honestly.

Take the jacket off. I want to see
what's underneath.

Nothing. My shirt.

Hey, look, something's about to happen
here. Shut up!

I don't want to hear anything except
from him. Not a word.

Take the jacket off.

Really slowly.

You make one twitch I don't like, you
get it. Understand?

Turn around.

Slowly.

Face the other way.

One switch I don't like.

Can I just make an interjection at this
point? Shut up!

You pull that trigger, you're going to
give yourself serious image problems

police -wise.

And quite frankly, at this point,
they're not entirely sold on the whole

siege concept anyway.

He's right.

And they'll have heard the shots.

Talk to them.

No -one's hurt. Just stay where you are,
OK?

Linda, listen.

Can I just say, on behalf of everybody,
I'm glad you didn't kill Kenny. That

would have been one serious bummer. I'm
sorry if I'm sounding emotional.

What was going on with breaking the
window?

We're trying to set up something to
distract you. Then what?

Well, what do you think?

Can I just make another interjection?

Those guys out there haven't quite made
up their minds about you.

I mean, maybe you're just one of those
wacky kids who likes to tease his

with a loaded firearm.

We all know one.

So why don't we start getting them to
feel positive about you?

What I was hoping when I came in here
was maybe you could release some of this

lot. A few of the more attractive girls,
maybe.

Showing a bit of cleavage.

Let's package this right.

I'll take them outside and tell everyone
what a sweet and reasonable guy you are

if only they can be bothered to look
past the gun.

What do you say?

Maybe I will give them something to
think about.

Right, yeah.

Go stand with her.

I don't think I'm getting right behind
your concept.

Move! Just remember I'm basically
neutral in this ongoing crisis

And you.

And you.

What are you doing?

What do you want with them?

You want to join them? Fine, move.

No, I just... Move!

The rest of you, out.

Out!

You shouldn't really think of me as a
hostage, more a facilitator. Shut up.

You stay.

We mustn't overreact to what happened at
Norbridge.

What you must understand is that most
people who are interested in guns don't

look at them as weapons.

They admire them as wonderful pieces of
machinery.

Yeah, right. Just like some people have
lawnmowers, but they don't actually have

grass to cut.

They just like the noise they make when
they put them.

Look, what we're talking about here is a
perfectly harmless hobby.

Yeah, well, if it wasn't for that
perfectly harmless hobby, perhaps one of

mates wouldn't be dead.

Right.

Over to those shelf things.

Line up facing me.

Look, are you sure you want me with the
rest of them? I just feel I could give

better input in a more executive role.

Shut up.

So what happens now, then?

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