Original subtitles

Hello?

Hello?

Kenny, this isn't you phoning with your mouth full again, is it?

Chew on your own time.

Kenny?

Hello, Junior Cadet.

Hi, Sam.

How's Scotland?

What?

Well, she's wearing like a blue top thing with a brown skirt with like white

dots all over it.

Well, any time, Sam.

Sam says hi.

It was one of those days when you wake up in the morning and gotta go straight

back to sleep from the act.

It was one of those days when you turn up at the newsroom after a week and a

half of being in the hospital and hold people and notice you're wearing a silly

hat. I was wearing a silly hat. I got lucky.

The newsroom was pretty much like I remember.

A bunch of mean -eyed guys who looked like they knew how to use a typewriter.

And a bunch of cool -looking broads who looked like they knew how to use a gun.

And everywhere, the faint smell of a dirty raincoat.

You know, I can't figure it, but that smells everywhere I go.

The chicks were looking good.

The blondes. The brunettes.

Of course the brunettes. They could have been redheads.

They didn't make this kind of movie in color.

It'd have been a hard day.

I've been following this guy all across town.

I lost him when he heard me talking to myself. You know, any more days this

and I'm going to have to go back to doing voiceovers for other detectives.

They let you go home?

She was a cool broad, but she had a warmer side. Unfortunately, this was it.

I can't imagine any hospital regarding this as finished work.

Are you kidding? I got a fan letter from my surgeon.

There were people lining up at the operating room for my kidneys.

So, you're back.

Yeah, I'm back.

I would have baked a cake, but I didn't.

Yeah, I figured that was the reason.

Well... Uh, yeah.

So... Yeah, me too.

Later? Absolutely.

OK, everyone, the cabaret's over. Back to work.

Hi, Fred.

Lily?

Jeff?

We like a word, Spike.

What? Just the one, guys. I got so many.

About Linda and what's been happening while you were away.

And about what you're going to do about it now you're back.

Look, can we all still remember that Linda is still the boss around here and

also a personal friend of mine?

Are you guys hearing the man?

Well, let's take him outside where she can't hear us.

What are you thinking about?

Oh, I was wondering why you don't reorganize the work rosters back.

You know, so the guys doing on -street reporting have fixed working hours

instead of open -ended shifts.

It's unfair in comparison to the fixed working times of the writing team.

Well, at least it wasn't another woman.

So what do you think?

You're bringing me in on this?

Well, sure, yeah.

Well, I think it's an amazing idea.

Yeah? That you would suddenly take such an interest in office organisations.

Well, it's kind of a newfound maturity.

It's so good for me, Linda. Have I got this right, Spike?

So far, it's good.

Some of the guys at the office pull you outside into the corridor.

Then they tell you that since you've been away, I've rearranged all the work

schedules. And they want you to use your, how shall I put it, influence with

to get me to shift it all back.

That's about right, Spike, darling.

I don't know. I got confused after you kissed my nose.

Come with me.

Where are we going?

This way. Come on.

Is this going to be fun?

Lots of fun.

Fun where I have to take off my jacket?

Maybe. And my shoes?

Down right there.

Here? Exactly right.

It's not fun so far.

Ready? Yeah.

You're overreacting.

Don't you ever do that again.

Do what? Take my face away before you can put a door on it? I'm... Editor of

Junior Gazette, I'm also going out with you. Those are two separate facts.

I know. I counted. You are not the easy route to me for every clown in the

newsroom with a stupid gripe. Those clowns have got a fair point, Linda.

why can't they find a fair way to make it?

What fair point?

Well, that it's just as tough going out and finding the stories as it is to

write them.

So be as fair with the working hours.

I know it's hard finding stories.

Do you? Of course I do.

How? What? How do you know, Linda? You never actually do it.

I mean, you fly a mean desk, boss, but how often have you actually gone out and

tracked down a story yourself?

How often have you gone out and done all the legwork? You know, smiled on all

the doorsteps?

Actually tracked down the story yourself.

Don't wake up when everything is probably only an emergency or something.

Hello. Hi.

Seven times.

Linda? I've tracked down seven stories on my own. I did two with Kenny where I

clinched the final story break and one with Sarah where I did five more

interviews than she did. Linda, you're the most insanely competitive person

ever met.

Knowing you, you're probably trying to be. No, I'm not. You are. I'm not.

Linda, do you feel so you have to win this conversation?

No.

But I could.

Sam sits high.

Uh, Linda, I think you and I should maybe have a quick talk. Okay, could

everyone just listen, please?

Um, actually, could you all just hang on a moment? Linda and I have got to talk.

Bike and I do not have to talk, so could you all just listen?

Sorry, guys, this is just kind of a personal thing, you know? This isn't a

personal thing. It's personal.

Bike may be being personal. I am not being personal. She is, you know. Do we

absolutely have to involve the entire newsroom in any little fight we have?

I don't know. Let's take a vote.

Okay, everyone, I have an announcement.

Now, a number of people have been complaining that I don't appreciate the

problems of street reporting.

In fact, it has been implied that I'm not properly capable of doing the odd

of street reporting myself.

And like any good leader, I don't believe in asking anyone to do what I'm

prepared to do.

So, Kenny, you're in charge till I say you're not. Sarah, you take over as

assistant editor until further notice.

Kate, you help Sarah with features. I, for the moment, am going on to street

reporting.

Linda, I really don't think this is a good idea.

If I say... You're in charge. You're in charge.

Yes, boss.

Now, come on, Kenny. Take over.

Sit at my desk.

Sarah?

Right.

Run the newsroom.

What do you mean, run it? Linda, this is getting really dumb.

I mean, assign me to a story. I'm available.

Give me work.

All the stories are assigned, you know that.

Yeah, but I also know we're not getting anywhere on the school meals thing.

Linda. Remind me. It's a good little number, that.

Don't we have a tip that the outside caterers are deliberately using food

its sell -by date to save money?

Nice little scandal if we can get it.

So who exactly is responsible for dragging their feet on our juiciest

Kenny, put me on the school meals story.

Spike's already on it, Linda. Put me on it too.

Let's see who breaks it first.

Linda, I do need to talk to you.

Sorry, Spike. I'm busy right now.

I'm looking lethal and you know that I know it. So, throw your underwear and

blow kisses.

Hey, bring in your babies and I'll sign them.

Linda says bye.

Hey, don't tell me. It was someone that you beat at Scrabble when you were

seven.

It was Sam.

Spike, look at this skirt. It goes with the tops of lips.

Whose top?

Hey, boss, remind me.

We're competing, but are we still fighting?

Well, I'm doing brilliantly.

I've got the major lead.

How are you doing?

Lousy. Well, at least you're on it.

Well, what's life if you can't look at yourself in the eye and say, hey, I used

to have two of those.

I'm really going to show you this time, Thompson.

I've got the story break right here. Oh, you're right.

Definitely. This is potential.

Yeah, well, all I've got is the name of some woman who used to work on the

kitchen staff, got fired. Seems she started the rumor in the first place.

Not much to go on, I admit, but so what? What have you got?

Nothing. What?

Nothing. Mind if I take a look, then?

Beth Davenport, 32 Curran Drive.

That's an amazing coincidence.

I happen to think that's a very important piece of information.

You're such a civilian, boss.

Well, I just thought it was good if you'd found it out. I did find it out.

it's very good, then.

Colin, have you got those street maps? I need to find 32 Curran Drive.

Can I use your back door? Sure, I'll put it in the book. Just pay me when you

can. Yeah, well, don't do anything against your religion, Colin.

We're buddies, right?

Hey, how's your love life?

This is it.

32 current.

Drive.

You're going to laugh.

No, I'm not.

Look at me when you say that. No.

Your shoulders are shaking.

No, they're not.

Driver, could you check your mirror, please? I think my girlfriend's going to

laugh. Why would I be laughing?

You haven't even tried to kiss me yet.

That's true, I haven't. Driver, could you keep your eyes on the road?

Yeah, sorry, right.

Sorry, we were just, um... Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, that's what we were doing.

So how much do I owe you?

Leave it just now. I'll invoice you later.

I think you've dislocated my jaw.

Don't exaggerate. Have you got any of my teeth in your mouth?

Hi. Hello, we're from the Junior Gazette. Could we talk to you for a

please?

atomic bomb cake.

Sorry, they're for Robert's party.

Great, thanks.

Don't be kind.

So you're certain the food you were supplied with was passed its sell -by

Yes, well, you see, I happened to notice something.

Every time the food was passed its sell -by date, there was the same signature

on the blue form.

N .V. Gillespie. So you think that this Gillespie guy has got something to do

with it all?

Not now, Jeremy.

Have you met Gillespie, Mrs. Davenport? I haven't, no.

And this is the strange thing. I phoned the office to speak to him once about

all of this, and none of them had met him either.

Yeah, but surely he works there.

No, apparently he works for one of the food suppliers, and they don't even know

if it's a he. It could be a man or a woman.

So he or she is just the signature on a form.

And it's always his or her signature when the food's passed its sale, by the

way. That's it exactly.

Miss Davenport, one last question.

Do you feel you were sacked because of this discovery you made?

No, dear. It was because I kept mixing custard in with the potatoes.

So what do you think? We call it a draw?

Not while I'm still breathing.

Well, this story's dead.

I wouldn't trust Beth Davenport as far as I could throw a little friend,

The competition was the first one to break the story.

It just broke in half.

Anyway...

Something else I want to talk about.

What?

What is it, Mike?

I think I've got something I need to say to you.

What?

Is something wrong?

Yeah. What?

First, I think we need to look up.

I don't. I do.

Spike?

Oh, you can't go that way, love. Well, my friend just did.

I don't think so, love.

You know what he's doing, don't you? What?

He's working on the story.

He slipped out here and he's working on the story.

Right.

I'd like to see your managing director, please.

I'm Envy Gillespie.

Do you realise your firm is putting ours in a very awkward position, Miss

Gillespie? You're referring to the food we supplied that was past its sell -by

date. Of course I am.

Getting that school's contract was very important for this firm.

I mean, can you imagine what would happen if the newspapers got hold of

story? Yes, actually, I have been imagining that. That'd be an absolute

disaster. Well, just be careful who you talk to.

Good afternoon. I need to speak to your managing director.

My name's Enviga Lesby.

Now, Mr. Marsh, to what extent would you say that you were aware that the food

would pass its sell -by date?

That's a very strange question.

I'm just trying to get things straight.

Now, tell me, did you actually... Yes, Marjorie?

There's, um, someone for you, Mr. Marsh.

It won't turn away from it.

Uh, who?

It's Enviga Lesby.

Roderick, nice to meet you at last. I'm Enviga Lesby. So am I.

That's right, so she.

What? We're both N .V. Gillespie.

Gillespie.

Oh, yeah, right.

We just both happen to work for the same firm, in the same job, and have the

same name.

It's quite a coincidence, really.

It is, actually. I thought so. Something rather odd is going on here. There is?

Anything we can help you with?

You're both N .V. Gillespie? Gillespie. N .V. Gillespie, being someone I've been

trying to arrange to appear at this office for months now, always

unsuccessfully.

And now I have two of you. Well, I hope that makes up for the time you've been

waiting. Yes, and I now recall I spoke to Envy Gillespie once on the telephone,

and his voice didn't sound like either of yours.

Well, actually, I think there might be another Envy Gillespie at our firm.

What? Someone else called Envy Gillespie? I think so.

Who?

Well, Envy Gillespie.

Mr. Marsh, I'm absolutely certain that there are only two Envy Gillespies at

firm. so I'm afraid you must have misremembered the telephone call. Now,

we please get back down to business?

Yes, Marjorie. There's another one outside.

What? Another Envy Gillespie.

Rod, I don't believe it. The food I supplied to you, out of date. Who can

trust nowadays? I mean, I was assured.

Both these people have a record of severe mental illness. Please don't

a word they might have said.

Colin, are you Envy Gillespie?

And have you been supplying food past its sell -by date to these caterers?

a bit.

What exactly is going on here? You mean a member of my staff is responsible for

the story we're investigating?

Kind of a plus, that, really, isn't it? Story?

Mr Marsh, you're in luck. I think this is one scandal we can't afford to

uncover.

Hello?

Who is this?

Hello? Who is this?

Hi. Oh, hi, Spike.

Listen, I've had a look through this file. I don't think there's much we can

salvage from this.

And what do you think I should do with Colin?

I was thinking of leaving his body to science starting from tomorrow.

Linda, I need to talk to you.

Urgently. What?

Meet me at the newsroom.

Nothing, maybe.

Everything, probably.

What?

You know, it's been a whole two weeks since a local office building dropped

in on me at my favorite record store.

I could have died, Linda.

I nearly died.

And I sat there, and I talked to somebody who did die.

And you know, not once have you asked me about it. Not once.

Spike, I didn't know this was going on in you. Why didn't you say?

I shouldn't have to.

But you've been your normal self, laughing, joking.

Drowning.

Anyway, that's not what I want to talk to you about.

Look, I'm trying to get through this quick because I'm about to make the

damn fool of myself ever. So don't say anything. Just listen, okay?

Spike.

You'll get your time. Give me mine.

You know, when you're figuring that you might be checking

out on a permanent basis and talking to someone who's doing just that,

certain things become a lot clearer

to you.

You know, like...

What are you going to miss when you're gone?

What do you really care about?

Look, what it comes down to is this.

I love you, Linda.

I mean, I really love you.

You know, it's the whole deal, the works, forever, everything, right?

And that kind of brings me around to an obvious question.

And so, because I'm trying to get through this quickly, could you give me

speedy reply?

I care about you.

A lot. I love you, Linda.

You're very, very important to me.

I love you.

Sorry.

Yeah. Figured.

Well, what do you know, boss?

We're yesterday's news.