Original subtitles

Definitely. Are you sure?

Bye, Mum.

What train did I just get off?

Kenny, where's Linda? I need to talk to her urgently.

She's not into that.

We need them. We can't have them.

Is that what you're going to tell Linda?

It's just not possible at this juncture. I can't put an exact figure on it when

I don't... The exact figure's tomorrow morning, Linda's desk or else.

Kenny, I'm being serious here.

I want to hear it, Colin. You about ready, Spike?

Let her phone a couple more times.

Hey, I found a word here. And my school report said I wasn't literate. No, they

just made that up when they read it to you. I bet they did. And me with the

prize for the best history essay in crayon.

Kenny, look.

Tomorrow, Colin.

Junior Gazette.

It's me. Is that you?

Speaking. I've had my day off now. Can I come in?

It's still the morning.

I got up early.

Look, Linda, make the effort. Relax.

Have Spike wrapped and delivered.

I'm bored.

See you soon.

It's getting about time. Trust me, I'm judging this for the second.

So, boss, how's power? You're still talking to the little people.

Yeah, sure.

By the way, who are you?

The way his doll just fell out the shirt now he's in charge. Yeah, I heard he's

grown a chest hair. No, I just stole it from Linda.

Hey, you're talking about the chest hair I love.

Speaking of Vampyra, what's the deal with her today?

It's Vampyra's day off.

Vampyra's rest and relaxation.

Yeah, well, Vampyra rests.

We relax.

Oh, my God, she's not here to answer back, is she?

Hello, Gina Gazette. Oh, hi, Vampyra. I mean, er...

Okay, everybody, stay calm. Just stay in your seats and don't get too excited.

Well, no, look, I thought you were someone else.

Vampira?

Yeah. Is that what you guys call me?

Why does everyone always ignore me?

Who said that?

Well, we don't call you that as such.

Why not?

I kind of like it. Kenny, this is serious. Can we talk?

Look, Hitler.

Linda, we've got... Talk.

I'll find you back.

You sure?

Definitely. I've got a close -up on the telephoto.

Right, good. Now, just stay put and keep tabs on him. You don't want us to go

for an interview? He could be gone any minute. Let me talk to him.

Kenny? Have we got train timetables anywhere?

Right here.

Kenny? No train through the station for another half an hour. Right, we're safe

for at least another half an hour. Now, don't do anything.

Kenny, I found him. He's mine. This is Junior Page, and I'm doing the

Tiddler, you stay away from him, OK?

Kenny, if you give this to Sarah... Look, I'm not giving it to anyone right

Just stay away from him.

Kate, you're a fan of this guy, right? Sure, yeah.

Wasn't there some story about him throwing a reporter out of a hotel room

window? No, a photographer threw the reporter down the stairs.

But he was justified with both of them.

Justified? Aren't we talking about the Jason when he punched his aunt through a

garden hedge?

His grandmother.

But you know how they exaggerate that kind of stuff.

Yeah, it was probably just an old lady that looked like her.

Conclusion, he doesn't do interviews.

Oh, Kenny.

Can we talk?

I've always wondered what planet you were on.

Yeah, listen, if you can get us that interview, we can double the price of

ad space and make a killing on this one. You three have got to start phoning

each other in the mornings.

Look, I'm not falling for anything, Colin. We'll get the interview. It's

matter of how.

Sarah.

What? Well, Sarah gets people to open up like nobody can.

The mayor, that writer guy, she could do this. Yeah, he could be right. Of

course she's right. You know she's right. Sam, you're so right.

I mean, she's got the gentle touch, hasn't she?

I'm telling you, send Sarah.

Yeah, send Sarah. She's such a special girl. And if the guy just wants her one,

well, then it's a good little warning for the rest of us, isn't it?

OK, Sarah, but where is she?

She left without checking with you first, Kenny. I can't believe that, Sam.

just feel so betrayed.

Sorry.

At least say you understand.

I don't.

I just don't feel the Junior Gazette. Yeah, you said that.

I don't feel I'm getting anywhere with... Yeah, you said that too.

This writing class I'm starting, it's two evenings a week. I couldn't cope

both. So naturally you quit the paper.

You'll survive without me.

The class is run by a really famous guy, Benjamin Mitchell.

But you probably haven't heard of him.

Hardly anyone has.

It's Tuesday and Thursday nights up at the college. It's going to be a lot of

work and I really just couldn't cope with both.

Sarah?

Yeah?

Go to hell.

Hello, Vampyra.

What?

Who?

Well, of course Sarah's the only one to do it.

But, Kenny, we've got a problem.

Yes, I said quit.

Look, I'll deal with Sarah.

Just make sure that guy doesn't leave the station. I don't care if you have to

bind and gag him. Keep him there.

I was joking.

Is that him?

Yep. Okay.

You two get down to the phone box outside.

Phone the number to the newsroom. Keep it occupied.

And what will you two be doing? We'll be keeping that delivery right where we

are. Come on.

Come on, Tim.

All right, thanks, Kevin. Great.

According to Kate, he did a concert last night somewhere in London, which means

he came in on the train from London this morning.

Which timing -wise makes sense.

But? Why is he still in the station?

Changing trains, making a connection?

There's no connection he could be making.

Well, what then?

Look, suppose he just jumps on the wrong train from London. Fell asleep, woke up

here. Yeah, that makes sense.

It's the only thing that makes sense.

Also means he'd be getting the next train back to London.

The next train through the station.

He's got 20 minutes.

Kenny, I just want you to know, if you don't get a sad interview, I'm going to

lose all respect for you.

Wait in my storeroom.

Sarah, come on, let's talk. Talking can't hurt, can it? Where are you going

such a hurry, anyway?

You said something about hell. Your reputation?

They'd never let you in.

Well, maybe it's time I started getting a little meaner.

You don't do mean.

Leave it to the experts. If you're about to apologise, I'm about to throw up.

I'm about to apologise. Take aim.

You.

Apologise. What have I got that you want?

OK, I'll come clean. Of course you will. I'm making you.

There's this guy at the railway station.

He's not going to be there long and we want to do an interview, but he's

difficult. And?

Well, you can handle this kind of situation better than anyone and I'm not

saying that.

I know you're not. I know I do.

You're hating this, aren't you?

Sarah, do this one thing for me. This one last thing. Quick, but do the

interview. This really matters to you?

Yes.

Forget it.

OK, OK, listen to this. Here's the deal. No deal, Linda.

How long have we known each other?

2 ,000 years. I counted.

OK, 2 ,000 years.

And in all that time, there's got to be a lot of stuff you've always wanted to

say to my face, right?

There's got to be a lot of things boiling up in you.

Is there anything you don't try to turn to your advantage?

Say it all now.

This offer won't be repeated. Say it all to my face now.

And what do you get out of that?

Nothing. I just think if we talk all this through, good things might happen.

You're mad.

OK, so take advantage. Tell me about it. Get it all out of your system.

A one -way slangy match. Can you really say no to that?

No.

No.

You know, it's a pity, really.

I was going to take Linda on a picnic.

You know, keep her out of the newsroom on her day off. Oh, yeah, your picnic

date. Yeah, that goes down well. Yeah, it's kind of popular.

No.

She hasn't even noticed him. Doesn't know he's there.

We've got to get rid of her before she does.

She's gone.

Did she leave with Sarah?

She left after Sarah.

Can you tell me where the two of them went? I've got to find them.

Mum, I'm here. I'll see you later. Kenny says goodbye.

Well, Sarah.

I haven't got her back yet. It'll take me a while.

But we haven't got a while. Jason Wood gets on that train in ten minutes.

Make him miss it.

What?

How? Oh, boss, so nice to have you back. You've no idea how things have been

falling apart without you.

We're going to get that interview now. Shut up, Colin.

OK, I'll do that. You can rely on me.

Sam, I want you to do me an article.

Find out all you can about Benjamin Mitchell's writing class at the college

slag it to death. I mean really go to town, tear it apart.

Why me?

Because I want it really bitchy.

Well, when you're not available, right? Can you do it in the absence of anyone

bitchier? Good.

And now for the tricky part.

Hi,

listen, Kerr's going crazy looking for you. There's a story breaking and some

sort of emergency.

What's happening?

They're building an extension on the Sherrington Library.

And that's an emergency?

Yeah, they're changing the whole filing system, everything.

What are you guys talking about?

Look, we don't really know the deal here. All we know is you've got to go to

Sherrington to meet Mr Kerr. But I have to go to London.

Oh, that's cancelled. He cancelled it. He's cancelled me visiting my mother?

Well, when I say he's cancelled, he just... Well, look, he needs a cricket.

really does.

Because of a library in Sherrington.

Is this about Councillor Dunlop?

Yeah, Dunlop. Yeah, he mentioned Dunlop, didn't he?

Yeah. He said he finally nailed Councillor Dunlop.

Nailed Dunlop, not Peterson.

Both.

They're in it together.

No, listen, look, he just mentioned their names. We're not really sure

going on, but you have to go to Shevingdon. It's urgent.

Yeah, and he mentioned some sort of third man.

Courageous called him Mr. H.

Mr. H?

Mr. H.

I'd better get going.

Thanks for the message, guys. No problem. Yeah, good luck.

You're not funny anymore, Fraz. Mr.

H is his last name.

Kenny phoned. He says that Jason's going on the 12 o 'clock train.

What? Yeah, he says you have to stop him. You have to try and make him miss

Well, aren't you going to get it all off your chest?

You're on. It's your big moment.

Why are we doing this?

2 ,000 years of knowing me. You counted.

I know why I'm doing it. I don't know why you're doing it. I'm just letting

take a few shots at me.

Because that's what this is all about.

It happens to be about a writing class I want to go to.

No, it's not. This place is all the writing class you'll ever need. You know

that. I don't believe it. You really think I'm quitting just to get at you?

How can you think that?

Let's forget about the last 2 ,000 years.

Let's just talk about the nine months we've been working here.

Can't be easy.

What?

When one of your best friends suddenly becomes your boss.

When one of your best friends ends up doing the job you'd give your right arm

be doing yourself.

Ah, good morning. We're from the Junior Gazette. This is my assistant, Franz

Davis. And this is my assistant, Spike Thompson. As you probably know, we're

doing a series of local celebrity interviews.

And you're probably wondering when we get round to you.

Me?

What is it? Well, that's why people love him.

You want to interview me?

If that's possible. Now, come in.

You see, the bigger they are, the nicer they are.

You are so wrong. Am I?

Absolutely. You were up for editor.

You were shortlisted. You went to see Mr Kerr. I always knew you'd get it.

Doesn't mean you didn't want it.

I didn't much care either way. That's what you wanted people to think.

That's probably why you blew the interview. But it's not true.

So I'm jealous, am I? A little.

And I think it would be a lot easier to deal with if you just admitted it.

Let me put it another way.

We haven't been such good friends since we started here and I'd like to think

that was the only reason. We're still friends and I am not jealous.

Hold that thought. Where are you going?

Something I forgot to do.

Linda, I'm not jealous, but I'll tell you this.

I'm just as smart as you are, and you can't write half as well as I can, and I

really never understood why you were a better choice for editor.

But you're not jealous, right?

No way.

Good to hear, friend.

Phone for a taxi for Sarah to take to the station. Have it waiting outside.

Get in somewhere.

You bet.

A lot of kids write in to us about how they'd like to be station masters.

You know, but my guess is that it's not all glamour, right?

Oh, absolutely not. There's a whole other side to it. What I say to these

if they're coming in to station mastering for the action and the

they're coming in for the wrong reason.

That's a great angle, Mr. Dutton. Thanks. I'm going to use that.

Oh, well, I remember...

Would you be prepared to contribute to our local celebrity record review count?

Oh, certainly, yes. I sure would. That's a great mind, just listening to this.

So, you don't resent me. You don't resent not being

editor. Of course not.

Then I don't see why you're quitting.

I've told you, my writing class.

Sarah, look at me and tell me there's a writing class on the planet that could

teach what you learn here.

I mean, look at you now. Look how great you are with people.

Used to be you couldn't look a stranger in the eye.

I mean, you... You even learnt how to pass your exams here. Remember when you

used to flunk every one?

Damn it, even when you slagged off your boyfriend's acting, we took those three

little words off the review by Sarah Jackson.

Sarah, this place is good for you.

Try to like it back.

I didn't say I didn't like it. So you mean you do like it? Well, of course I

like it.

Well, hang on then, let's summarise. You like me, you like the paper, you like

not being editor.

So what exactly is your problem?

I just feel it's time for a change.

This is an announcement for all passengers to London. Due to technical

difficulties, the train now approaching platform 3 will terminate at Maxim East.

The next plane to London is at 2 o 'clock.

I'd like to apologise for any inconveniences because...

Well,

I think we've got all we need.

That's done with two T's.

Kevin, that is brilliant.

I don't know how they did it, but it was Frazzy's voice.

And there isn't another London trade for two hours.

That's great, that really is.

How are things going your end?

Well, we're winning, I think.

OK, Sarah, I admit defeat.

What? You've convinced me, you win.

Win what?

I just want to tell you one thing.

When you told me you were quitting this morning and I told you to go to hell, I

didn't say it to hurt you.

I said it because I was hurt.

But why?

Because I honestly believed you were doing it to get at me.

And that's a hard thing to believe of a friend.

But I wasn't. I know that now. I didn't know it then.

That's why I thought if I could get you here to talk it through, you'd see you

were doing it to spite me.

But I'd never do anything just to spite you. I know.

And I'm sorry I thought that of you.

And I just want you to know, Sarah, I don't quite understand why you're

quitting, but I respect the fact that you are.

I respect your decision.

Thank you, Linda. That means a lot.

Would you excuse me a moment?

Sure.

Is the taxi outside?

With the meter running. You're going to need it. In about one minute.

So, what are you doing at the writing class today? Nothing. It doesn't start

till Tuesday.

Tuesday?

Yeah, Tuesday.

But I thought... Oh, I get it. You've got some work to do for it today, right?

No. No.

There's nothing till Tuesday.

I see.

You see what?

Well, I assumed you were too busy to do the interview.

I assumed there was a good reason.

Other than spite.

Come on, Linda, we've talked this through. You know it's not spite.

Then what is it? You're available for this interview, aren't you? Don't I even

rate one last parting gesture?

Of course you do.

Then why won't you do the interview?

I'm going to do the interview. I was always going to.

Kind of.

Forget it. I'll send someone else. No, I'll do it. I'll send someone else. I

want to do it. I insist on doing it. Sarah!

Look, I don't care what you say. I'm doing this interview and I'm doing it

OK? And maybe that will finally prove to you that my quitting the Gazette is to

do with me, not you. Because believe it or not, there are still one or two

things which happen in this world which have absolutely nothing to do with Linda

Day.

And this isn't one of them.

Can you explain to me how I just argued myself into doing what you wanted me to

do in the first place?

You are a devious, unfeeling, calculating, manipulative bitch.

Well, you were asking what made me a better choice for editor.

Of all my best friends, you are the one I hate most.

So are you going to do the interview for me?

Excuse me.

Brilliant so far.

Brilliant to the end.

Actually, he was quite a nice guy.

They all are with you.

Except you.

That's all right. We're friends.

Yeah, listen, I'd better be going.

Well, I said I'd be home at seven.

Go on home. Our phone only cuts to you.

Right.

Sure, thanks.

Bye, Sarah.

Yeah, see you, Sam.

Listen, I'll pop in from time to time. I'll stick my head round the door. Do

that.

We're really going to miss you round here, you know.

Take care, Julie.

I'm Sarah.

Julie left two months ago.

Yeah, yeah, sure. But you're both blonde, right?

Yeah. Well, then get off my back!

Oh, well.

This writing class, it is the right thing for me, you know. It really is.

Honestly.

Bye, Sarah.

Yeah. Bye.

Do you get the feeling she wanted to be talked out of it?

You did a great job on your writing class article. Really bitchy.

Thanks. You're kind of nasty yourself.

I don't see what good it's going to do, though. She's gone.

Not for long.

Hey, you major piece of office fluff.

Aren't you supposed to be taking me on a picnic?

It's kind of late, isn't it? Haven't you ever heard of a late picnic?

You're such a drag sometimes.

Gee, are we going on a late picnic, Ma? We sure are, son.

Hey, can we go to the park? I know where there's a dead mouth and a milk bottle.

Why, son, don't be silly. We've got plenty of food on the hamper.

By the way, Sam, could you add three little words to your writing class

What three little words?

By Sarah Jackson.

But if they read that up at the...

Hello, Linda.

Sarah, you're back. What a surprise.

I'm sure it is.

Oh, by the way, about your name appearing on that article, I can't tell

sorry I am.

Yeah, I imagine it would be difficult.

Well, everything's pretty much the same back here.

So I see.

Colin's still from outer space.

We haven't quite worked out the reason for the outfit yet.

Spike's got a theory he's finally sold the entire planet.

Sarah, you do know you're actually standing on my foot at the moment, don't

Yep. So, planning to move your foot at all?

Not for a bit, no.

All right, fine.