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Michael.
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Kenny. Oh, are you looking for Helen?
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No, sorry.
4
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No, Aunt Rachel's here. I think you've
got a wrong number.
5
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No, this is Dublin.
6
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Yes, Dublin, Ireland.
7
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No, that's okay. No problem.
8
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Bye now.
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00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:06,860
Was that the wrong number?
10
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Some guy looking for his Aunt Rachel.
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Dublin. Dublin.
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Kenny.
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What do you want done with the duty,
Ross? Yeah, I'll get that.
14
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,639
She's bad. She's bad. She's evil. She's
bad and evil. We're talking seriously
15
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mean. We're talking bad, evil and mean.
16
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What is this?
17
00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:31,479
Franz, get a chair. I'll get the chair.
I'll check the desk.
18
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:32,530
You check the desk.
19
00:01:33,820 --> 00:01:37,899
Oh, no. A speck of dust. A speck of
dust. Good thing we're here. Take that
20
00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:41,139
outside and question it. No, I've seen
this hanging around before. OK, what's
21
00:01:41,140 --> 00:01:41,899
going on?
22
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:46,299
And in the early hours of this morning,
aspiring young actor Raymond Adams was
23
00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:49,399
found seriously dead in his apartment.
And a hospital spokesman described his
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condition as stable. A mortuary
spokesman described his condition as
25
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,680
and with resellable kidneys.
26
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:55,840
What are you on about?
27
00:01:55,841 --> 00:01:59,199
Officer Frazz, what was the cause of
death? It's a little early to say, but
28
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,340
think it could be death.
29
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,720
Another death, death.
30
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,780
Surely this can't be a coincidence.
31
00:02:03,781 --> 00:02:07,539
No, we have a clue. Next to the body was
found a copy of the Junior Gazette,
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00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:10,699
open to Sarah Jackson's review of an
Inspector Calls.
33
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:14,009
Could there have been anything in this
review that could have killed him
34
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:17,329
outright? We don't know. We're bringing
in a Scotland Yard expert who can read.
35
00:02:17,330 --> 00:02:18,410
What a unique case.
36
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:22,069
No, no, he's got a friend who can read
as well. It was a lousy show. It
37
00:02:22,070 --> 00:02:25,809
it. Have you got something against this
Adams guy? I like to crack about his
38
00:02:25,810 --> 00:02:26,950
mother. Oh, stop it.
39
00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:28,610
She's bad. She's bad.
40
00:02:29,670 --> 00:02:30,720
Sarah,
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I'm not talking to you anymore.
42
00:02:34,170 --> 00:02:35,430
Well, I'm glad you told me.
43
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,230
Colin, have you been selling pizzas?
44
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No.
45
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:42,490
Sorry, wrong number.
46
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:45,030
Wrong number.
47
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,200
Kenny, where's Linda?
48
00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:49,840
A cocktail party?
49
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:51,360
Why am I invited?
50
00:02:51,361 --> 00:02:55,179
Well, technically, Mr Campbell owns your
paper too. That makes you one of his
51
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:57,479
editors. I've got your invitation here
somewhere.
52
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,459
Mr Carroll, I don't know if... Before
you say anything else, there'll be a lot
53
00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:03,159
of newspaper people at this party.
People you should meet.
54
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,600
Oh, I see. Career socialising. Exactly.
55
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,350
Get used to it.
56
00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:10,350
Now, the invitation's for you and
partner.
57
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:11,780
So bring Spike.
58
00:03:12,490 --> 00:03:13,540
Spike?
59
00:03:13,870 --> 00:03:14,920
Come in.
60
00:03:14,921 --> 00:03:18,089
Chrissy, what did I do with Linda's
invitation?
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00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:21,280
Why should I bring Spike? What's Spike
got to do with anything?
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00:03:21,390 --> 00:03:22,990
You gave it to me to give to Linda.
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00:03:22,991 --> 00:03:26,269
Look, could everyone please just get it
into their heads once and for all? I am
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00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:27,950
not going out with Spike Thompson.
65
00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:30,410
And I just gave it to Spike.
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00:03:51,101 --> 00:03:58,669
There's a message on your desk. I can
see that. Is Colin selling pizzas? Wrong
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00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:00,250
number. Sorry, wrong number.
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00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:02,260
Hello, Spike.
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00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:04,660
Hello, Linda.
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00:04:15,810 --> 00:04:17,610
Observe the male of the species.
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00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:19,850
Taking up twice the space he has to.
72
00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:23,000
Arms and legs everywhere, like his
muddling limbs.
73
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,200
But you need a guy, don't you?
74
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,560
For the sort of ultimate fashion
accessory.
75
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:32,059
Sam, he was lousy. I mean, he really
stunk. Are you telling me he can't act
76
00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:33,200
shoulders like those?
77
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,480
So what's this got to do with my review?
78
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,010
Well, it's obvious.
79
00:04:39,011 --> 00:04:42,939
Here I am, madly in love with this guy,
and the paper I worked with is going to
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00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:44,620
slag him to death in two days' time.
81
00:04:44,621 --> 00:04:46,779
And I could still be going out with him
then.
82
00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:50,150
Oh, I get it. I changed the review so
you can go out with Raymond Adams.
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00:04:50,810 --> 00:04:54,269
I just forget about stuff like
journalistic integrity, I suppose. I
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00:04:54,270 --> 00:04:56,320
out the idea of truth in the printed
word.
85
00:04:56,370 --> 00:05:00,390
Sarah, your review could well destroy a
serious relationship.
86
00:05:00,391 --> 00:05:04,649
I come from the slow -moving lifestyle,
Sam. We don't call it a relationship
87
00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:06,950
until we've... How can I put this? Met.
88
00:05:07,410 --> 00:05:08,550
Well, then, here you go.
89
00:05:09,210 --> 00:05:14,789
I'll walk up to him, fix him in the eye
and say, nine guys out of ten I turned
90
00:05:14,790 --> 00:05:16,150
down. Feeling lucky?
91
00:05:16,151 --> 00:05:18,289
You're really going to say that?
92
00:05:18,290 --> 00:05:21,120
No. I just try pretending I recognise
him from somewhere.
93
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:22,730
Well, you do recognise him.
94
00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:25,190
Yes, but I'm pretending not to.
95
00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:40,320
What's wrong?
96
00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:43,430
It was not, as they say, a complete
success.
97
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:44,960
Why? What happened?
98
00:05:44,961 --> 00:05:46,309
He said it.
99
00:05:46,310 --> 00:05:47,360
Said what?
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00:05:47,690 --> 00:05:48,740
The killer.
101
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,010
The ultimate no -no.
102
00:05:51,370 --> 00:05:53,450
And what is the ultimate no -no?
103
00:05:54,990 --> 00:05:56,040
Who's your friend?
104
00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:05,310
Oh, nice move.
105
00:06:05,610 --> 00:06:06,690
Please get out of here.
106
00:06:06,810 --> 00:06:09,050
Why? We're going and we're going now.
107
00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:14,860
It's just a coke.
108
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,820
Honest. She does that shy thing so well.
109
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,650
What? Come on.
110
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I'm going to make you regret this for
the rest of your life, which may not be
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00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,420
more than about two minutes.
112
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,240
You have to go back in there.
113
00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:33,440
No, I don't. Why do I?
114
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:36,610
Because you're walking out on a guy
who's interested.
115
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,780
So? And you're walking out on a
situation just because it embarrasses
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Right.
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Do you know what you're walking out on
most of all, Sarah?
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Don't tell me myself.
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No, your handbag.
120
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:52,730
Excuse me.
121
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Are you all right?
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Look, I've got to go.
123
00:06:58,980 --> 00:07:00,030
What's wrong?
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00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:01,740
Oh, nothing.
125
00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:05,039
Then what are you staring at me for? Is
something the matter with me?
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00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,090
Well, no.
127
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,080
I was just wondering why you took that
lady's bag.
128
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,500
Sorry. I mean, never mind.
129
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,840
I want to crawl off somewhere lonely and
die.
130
00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:40,160
If you think you can handle it, here's
the address and phone number.
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If you think you can't, then I'm on the
back.
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Thanks.
133
00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:48,060
Hey, who's your friend?
134
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:56,630
Hello?
135
00:07:57,380 --> 00:08:01,440
No, this isn't your Aunt Rachel. I'm
sorry, is this Dublin again?
136
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,060
No, it's Dublin still.
137
00:08:03,061 --> 00:08:06,619
I'm really sorry about this. It's a
call. It must be misrouting.
138
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,659
Yeah, right.
139
00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:10,799
Listen, would you mind? I'm actually
waiting for someone to phone.
140
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,060
Yeah, right. No, I'm sorry.
141
00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:18,740
Please? I can't. It's just a cocktail
party.
142
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,280
I'm visiting my aunt in Sherrington.
143
00:08:21,340 --> 00:08:25,080
Oh, of course, your dear old aunt in
Sherrington. What is it this time? Ill?
144
00:08:25,081 --> 00:08:29,089
Dead? Tell me, how do you justify having
been off work at her funeral on no less
145
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,710
than eight separate occasions?
146
00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:31,800
She is my aunt.
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00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:34,340
Kenny, this woman has died a total of
eight times.
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How do you think I feel?
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Listen, I've got her in my aunt.
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In Dublin.
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00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:40,520
Er, in Glasgow.
152
00:08:40,789 --> 00:08:42,289
Sorry. Dead or alive?
153
00:08:42,929 --> 00:08:45,099
I don't wish to commit myself at this
stage.
154
00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:55,120
Wanda?
155
00:08:55,121 --> 00:08:58,299
What do you think I should wear to this
party?
156
00:08:58,300 --> 00:08:59,740
You're not going to the party.
157
00:09:00,460 --> 00:09:04,299
You know, I think I want to get into
some, like, serious power dressing for
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00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,350
kind of gig.
159
00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:08,040
I want to look sharp, cool, and
dangerous.
160
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:09,930
Hey, I know.
161
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,210
I'll go naked.
162
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:12,420
You're not going at all.
163
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:15,870
Well, Chrissy seems to think I am.
You're not. Want a reason? Yeah.
164
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:16,950
Give me your hand.
165
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,840
Melinda, this is so sudden. Your hand.
166
00:09:18,841 --> 00:09:20,679
There's plenty more where that came
from.
167
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:21,730
The other one.
168
00:09:21,740 --> 00:09:22,790
Let's see.
169
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,100
Hey. Is that what they call handwriting?
170
00:09:26,101 --> 00:09:30,219
Girl's name, girl's phone number. The
one you were talking to outside?
171
00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:31,780
Hey, did you think I wrote that?
172
00:09:31,781 --> 00:09:35,679
Spike, when you're asking me out, make
the effort. Wash off the phone numbers
173
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,020
first. I did. I just forgot that one.
174
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:39,510
You are disgusting.
175
00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:42,330
Linda, that was a joke, you know, a
joke.
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00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,860
Tell me another. Explain that.
177
00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:47,420
Well, that symbol, that's not a phone
number. No? Then what is it?
178
00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:48,710
A score out of ten.
179
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,010
Right.
180
00:09:50,011 --> 00:09:53,059
Linda, that was another joke, you know.
You've got to laugh a little and enjoy
181
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,319
life once in a while. You don't know you
won't like it until you try it. I just
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00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,439
want you to know, Spike, you are the
last person on earth I would ask for
183
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:00,820
party. Absolutely the last.
184
00:10:00,821 --> 00:10:04,679
You don't really mean that. You bet I
mean it. Anyone else, Spike, anyone else
185
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:05,399
in this room.
186
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,079
In fact, the next person through these
doors, I would rather ask the next
187
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,520
through these doors than you.
188
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:11,910
Right.
189
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:22,500
Oh, come on.
190
00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:25,300
Are you telling me it should stain as
easily as this?
191
00:10:25,301 --> 00:10:28,269
Look, I don't want a refund. Just let me
pick something out.
192
00:10:28,270 --> 00:10:30,320
Look, I don't think we even sell this
one.
193
00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:33,750
Exactly how long ago did you buy it?
194
00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:38,220
Well, what was the shop here before this
one?
195
00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:43,020
Hi.
196
00:10:44,450 --> 00:10:45,500
Oh, hi.
197
00:10:46,190 --> 00:10:47,910
This is kind of a coincidence.
198
00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:50,800
I was going to phone you. You were? What
about?
199
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:53,600
Well, nothing.
200
00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:54,980
Oh, good.
201
00:10:55,850 --> 00:11:00,630
Look, why don't we, uh... Totally frozen
face doll. Oh, hello again.
202
00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:02,020
Hi.
203
00:11:03,070 --> 00:11:04,530
Well, there I'll be off then.
204
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,250
See ya. Where are you going?
205
00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:10,470
My gran's. Can I come too? I've always
wanted to meet her.
206
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:12,350
No, you stay and talk to Raymond.
207
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:15,310
But your gran, I'd feel guilty.
208
00:11:15,311 --> 00:11:16,829
Sarah, she's not your gran.
209
00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:17,880
Yes, she is.
210
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,830
Well, obviously she's not actually my
gran.
211
00:11:21,940 --> 00:11:24,530
It's just I'm so close to her, I feel as
though she is.
212
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,450
Which is why you've always wanted to
meet her.
213
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:29,750
Yeah.
214
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:31,890
Excuse me.
215
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:36,440
Sam, I can't talk to this guy. I'm
assassinating him in print tomorrow.
216
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,260
Got to be going.
217
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:39,930
Have fun, kid.
218
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,800
So, uh, do you want to go somewhere?
219
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,260
Somewhere sounds nice.
220
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,390
You're ten minutes late.
221
00:11:55,650 --> 00:11:59,500
No, don't say anything. I'm going to do
the talking and you're going to listen.
222
00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:02,920
I've been waiting all day to say this
and I'm going to say it now.
223
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,230
As of now, you are officially dumped.
224
00:12:05,910 --> 00:12:08,090
OK? How do you like that?
225
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:10,980
Michael?
226
00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:15,270
This isn't Aunt Rachel, is it?
227
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:17,120
Oh, hello, Dublin.
228
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:20,160
Well, here's the duty you want for the
next week.
229
00:12:20,161 --> 00:12:21,329
I've got one.
230
00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:22,380
Kenny gave it to me.
231
00:12:22,381 --> 00:12:23,479
Oh, well.
232
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,680
Just wanted to make sure.
233
00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:26,470
So, how are you?
234
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,820
What? How are you? OK?
235
00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:33,030
What's wrong?
236
00:12:33,031 --> 00:12:35,079
Just thought I might be bleeding or
something.
237
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,540
No, I'm making conversation.
238
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,900
Conversation? You know, chatting.
239
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,280
Do you know something about my health?
240
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,340
No. I just thought... Well, it's been a
while since we've had a little chat.
241
00:12:47,341 --> 00:12:49,999
We've never had a little chat.
242
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,560
Well, we're having one now, OK?
243
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,030
Oh, right. OK.
244
00:12:53,031 --> 00:12:54,279
Right.
245
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,330
Sorry.
246
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:59,210
So, how are you? I just didn't know what
it was. It doesn't matter. How are you?
247
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:00,770
I'm fine.
248
00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:04,470
Sorry, how are you?
249
00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:05,590
Fine.
250
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:09,230
Good. Good.
251
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,140
Er, want to go to a cocktail party?
252
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,320
Oh, no, sorry. Can't make it that night.
I'm sorry.
253
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,800
Er, Jeff, have you got your duty roster?
254
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,100
No, really, it was good.
255
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:25,780
I've been practising all day.
256
00:13:25,781 --> 00:13:27,819
Well, you certainly had me feeling dumb.
257
00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:31,370
Now I just want to spend an evening in
the park looking sadly at couples.
258
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:33,920
Yeah, but I think I blew my best
performance.
259
00:13:33,921 --> 00:13:35,519
Well, you've not peaked yet.
260
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,819
In fact, practise on a couple more wrong
numbers and that mic will wonder what's
261
00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:39,870
hitting.
262
00:13:39,871 --> 00:13:42,799
Anyway, look, I'm really sorry about
this. There must be something wrong at
263
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,140
exchange. People keep ordering pizza
from us.
264
00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:46,899
Have you tried finding the operator?
265
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,640
Yeah, I get a pet shop in Birmingham.
266
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:50,060
Kenny, about this party.
267
00:13:50,061 --> 00:13:52,499
I'm on the phone. Oh, don't tell me.
Your aunt.
268
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,550
Wrong number.
269
00:13:53,551 --> 00:13:58,239
Listen, I'd better be going anyway, eh?
Because Michael will be phoning.
270
00:13:58,240 --> 00:13:59,820
I doubt it's a creep.
271
00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:02,100
He really is a creep, you know.
272
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,050
I don't know why I went out with him in
the first place.
273
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:09,700
Apart from the fact he's gorgeous and
exciting and charming.
274
00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:11,540
Yeah, I think I hate him too.
275
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:13,840
Why can't I find a nice guy?
276
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,780
Just a nice guy.
277
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:18,240
Are you a nice guy?
278
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,400
Nice? Me? Nice?
279
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:25,899
You're talking to a world champion.
Nice, eh? In fact, I'm so nice, I get
280
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,680
for Christmas. And I like it.
281
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,160
I get nice for Britain.
282
00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:33,200
When I'm so sweet and lovable, cuddly
toys just sneer at me.
283
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,520
Well, at least you'll never get dumped.
284
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,680
Do I hear your toes squealing under my
foot?
285
00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:42,280
Yeah, well... Sorry.
286
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,180
Reasoned? I don't really like to talk
about it. Sure.
287
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,570
Got an hour?
288
00:14:48,571 --> 00:14:49,799
It's huge.
289
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,820
Okay. Well, about three months ago, I
saw this girl outside some high flats.
290
00:14:53,821 --> 00:14:56,619
You know, it was the usual sort of
romantic thing.
291
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:59,859
Her brother had thrown himself off the
top while he was high on glue, and she
292
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:03,319
was protesting about the sale of solvent
to mine. Are you serious? I did. But
293
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,259
why?
294
00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:05,600
You know Zara's Burgers.
295
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,380
It was like eating a mattress.
296
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,480
So I stuck it in my pocket.
297
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,010
What, did you just leave it on the
plate?
298
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,040
Have you seen that waitress angry?
299
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:15,150
I wanted her alive.
300
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:18,280
Anyway, I took it home and chucked it in
the bin.
301
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:19,950
Or meant to.
302
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,410
Meant to?
303
00:15:21,540 --> 00:15:22,590
I meant.
304
00:15:22,591 --> 00:15:24,999
Somehow, I couldn't be bothered picking
it up.
305
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:25,839
Oh, no.
306
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:31,280
I would just lay there by the back step
for four days, pulsating.
307
00:15:31,281 --> 00:15:33,859
Do you know what happened on the fifth
day?
308
00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:35,380
What? You don't have to come in.
309
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,180
That's a really stupid story.
310
00:15:38,181 --> 00:15:39,019
Oh, no.
311
00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:42,459
But it brought up the subject of czars
quite well, didn't it? And why do you
312
00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:43,510
want to be there?
313
00:15:43,511 --> 00:15:46,639
Well, I thought we could meet up there
tomorrow night before we... Before we
314
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:47,690
what?
315
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:48,860
It's a surprise.
316
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:50,390
Do you want a surprise?
317
00:15:50,610 --> 00:15:51,930
Yeah. What is it?
318
00:15:51,931 --> 00:15:53,689
Okay, then.
319
00:15:53,690 --> 00:15:56,130
Have you ever seen an inspector course?
320
00:15:57,230 --> 00:15:58,550
Well, I'd better get in now.
321
00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:01,240
It's just a play I'm in at the community
centre.
322
00:16:02,090 --> 00:16:03,140
Good. Great.
323
00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:06,520
I'd love you to come and see it. You
know, give me your opinion.
324
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:08,220
My opinion?
325
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:10,520
Is something wrong?
326
00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:12,790
No. I'd love to see you act.
327
00:16:13,670 --> 00:16:14,720
Are you all right?
328
00:16:15,790 --> 00:16:17,350
Fine. Terrific. See you tomorrow.
329
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:28,700
Herman?
330
00:16:28,890 --> 00:16:31,600
Just wondering, do you ever read the
Junior Gazette?
331
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:33,900
Not really, no.
332
00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:36,020
Good.
333
00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:37,470
Just the theatre reviews.
334
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:39,460
Oh.
335
00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:41,100
See you.
336
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,790
I've just met the most wonderful guy in
the world.
337
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,080
My life is over.
338
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,859
Yes, dear.
339
00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:57,360
OK, everyone, listen, please.
340
00:16:58,140 --> 00:16:59,190
It's just this.
341
00:16:59,191 --> 00:17:02,779
Now, we've all known each other for a
long time. Let's face it, guys, we're a
342
00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:05,490
team. And I'd just like to share
something with you all.
343
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,020
Final paste -up, half an hour.
344
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,440
Love it when I'm cruel.
345
00:17:12,540 --> 00:17:14,100
You're cheerful this evening?
346
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,760
Sorry, Linda, I'll work on that.
347
00:17:16,639 --> 00:17:21,838
So that's two deep pan pizzas with
anchovies and a special... Sorry, wrong
348
00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:22,889
number.
349
00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:26,619
But we never had a little chat.
350
00:17:26,859 --> 00:17:28,419
Well, we're having one now, OK?
351
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,200
Is this about the cocktail party?
352
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:39,120
You've got half an hour at Prince of Bel
-Air. Change it, can't you?
353
00:17:39,121 --> 00:17:43,739
I don't know if I want to do that. I
believed in what I wrote and I don't see
354
00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:44,840
why I should change it.
355
00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:48,540
If this relationship is going to last,
it has to be based on truth.
356
00:17:48,990 --> 00:17:51,640
That is not what lasting relationships
are based on.
357
00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:53,370
Trust me, I've had hundreds.
358
00:17:53,481 --> 00:17:58,269
Where's the least I can do with my
favourite aunt?
359
00:17:58,270 --> 00:17:59,470
Still can't get through.
360
00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:02,320
Actually, it was you I was looking for
this time.
361
00:18:02,321 --> 00:18:05,309
Touching. I mean, you don't even know my
phone number.
362
00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:08,140
Yeah, right. Can we lose three lines
from the editorial?
363
00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:11,450
Look, I'll call you back, OK?
364
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:12,930
I'll be waiting by the phone.
365
00:18:14,730 --> 00:18:16,530
For what I said when you wanted it cut.
366
00:18:16,531 --> 00:18:19,289
Journalistic integrity, truth in the
printed word.
367
00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:21,330
Didn't you hear they're loped together?
368
00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:22,720
Goes in as it is.
369
00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:24,590
I'm not changing a word.
370
00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:28,909
But Sarah... Not a word. And if that
causes problems, well, then that's just
371
00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:30,410
luck. But why don't you just... No!
372
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:33,100
I'm going home now.
373
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:36,490
I need to spend some time hanging from a
ceiling by my teeth.
374
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:45,730
Kenny, have you read this and is it OK?
375
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:47,930
Yes, and kind of.
376
00:18:48,130 --> 00:18:49,210
That'll do, I suppose.
377
00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:52,480
Listen, Kenny, I can't get anyone to go
to this party with me.
378
00:18:52,990 --> 00:18:54,040
Well, go on your own.
379
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:56,050
No, that'd be like failure.
380
00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,590
Oh, yes, of course. I'm sorry I
mentioned it.
381
00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:01,190
Hi. Hello again.
382
00:19:01,710 --> 00:19:04,000
Please, Kenny, you've got to help me out
here.
383
00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:06,560
Can I call you back?
384
00:19:06,870 --> 00:19:08,430
Is that what you found to ask me?
385
00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:09,760
I'm sorry.
386
00:19:09,770 --> 00:19:10,820
That's OK.
387
00:19:12,430 --> 00:19:13,480
Look, Linda.
388
00:19:13,481 --> 00:19:16,969
No one will go with you because they
know Spike wants to. So here's a really
389
00:19:16,970 --> 00:19:18,020
wild suggestion.
390
00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:19,180
Go with Spike.
391
00:19:19,181 --> 00:19:20,329
You heard the man.
392
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:21,169
No way.
393
00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:23,400
Absolutely no way. You got that, both of
you?
394
00:19:25,210 --> 00:19:26,260
Nice try, thanks.
395
00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:28,350
I don't know what we're saying now.
396
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:30,880
Nah.
397
00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:37,740
Oh, Rachel.
398
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:56,580
Tough review.
399
00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:57,880
Yeah.
400
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,840
That was a hell of a cracker at my
mother.
401
00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:06,940
Tough review.
402
00:20:07,610 --> 00:20:08,660
It is.
403
00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:13,210
I mean, it's... Tough.
404
00:20:14,950 --> 00:20:17,450
Listen, we've got to talk. Well, hi,
Guy.
405
00:20:17,890 --> 00:20:19,690
Hell of a review, eh, Raymond?
406
00:20:19,890 --> 00:20:20,940
Bet it was fun to read.
407
00:20:21,210 --> 00:20:24,040
Sam worked for the paper, too. She
writes a column on past.
408
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:28,600
If you think it's bad now, you should
have seen it before it was cut.
409
00:20:28,630 --> 00:20:29,680
It isn't.
410
00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:34,590
It is, you know. Just about three little
words.
411
00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:36,270
I've got an important one.
412
00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:39,470
So, Raymond, how are you feeling?
413
00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:41,870
I bet you hate all the convictions now.
414
00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:45,370
No. No, it's just tough.
415
00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:50,650
I mean, when you read something like
that, it's... I don't know.
416
00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:51,960
Tough?
417
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,270
Yeah, tough.
418
00:20:53,271 --> 00:20:58,589
Raymond, there's something you should
know about this review.
419
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,469
Something you don't know at the moment.
420
00:21:00,470 --> 00:21:03,730
The person who wrote it has just moved
to Brazil.
421
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:07,210
What? It was very sudden. They just
stopped and moved.
422
00:21:07,211 --> 00:21:10,249
You're not likely to meet them, so I'd
just stop worrying about it if I were
423
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,690
you. I'm not worrying about it.
424
00:21:12,030 --> 00:21:13,080
Good.
425
00:21:13,081 --> 00:21:16,129
Look, why don't we go to the community
centre?
426
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:17,750
I want to see your dressing rooms.
427
00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:21,029
I just know I'm going to take a big
interest in your acting career.
428
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:22,110
What? You mean go now?
429
00:21:22,230 --> 00:21:23,280
Yeah, sure.
430
00:21:23,430 --> 00:21:25,420
Or I can run through your lines with
you.
431
00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:27,150
You ought to know some of them.
432
00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:28,690
What? Nothing.
433
00:21:29,430 --> 00:21:30,480
Come on.
434
00:21:30,930 --> 00:21:32,370
Just a minute, just a minute.
435
00:21:33,090 --> 00:21:34,890
I don't know if I'm ready for this yet.
436
00:21:35,130 --> 00:21:39,250
I mean, after a review like that, it's,
well... Tough.
437
00:21:41,570 --> 00:21:45,300
What are you telling me, Raymond? You
can't act with shoulders like those.
438
00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:47,650
Hey, I never thought of it that way.
439
00:21:47,651 --> 00:21:48,749
So let's go.
440
00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:52,420
What's one review? What does some stupid
little newspaper have to know?
441
00:21:52,690 --> 00:21:53,830
You know, you're right.
442
00:21:54,649 --> 00:21:56,070
You're absolutely right.
443
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:57,800
So, let's go?
444
00:21:57,990 --> 00:21:59,040
Yeah.
445
00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:02,470
Lex, one thing I want you to notice
about tonight's show.
446
00:22:03,870 --> 00:22:06,030
I've heard theory as well, I tell you.
447
00:22:08,050 --> 00:22:11,600
No, look, you don't understand. It's not
misrouting now, it's stopped.
448
00:22:11,601 --> 00:22:15,929
Look, the problem is that I need to call
the person that I used to call when I
449
00:22:15,930 --> 00:22:17,670
was trying to call the other number.
450
00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:20,520
Look, there must be something you can
do.
451
00:22:21,510 --> 00:22:22,560
Please.
452
00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:25,580
that I need to speak to the person that
I was misrouted to.
453
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:28,290
Look, you've got to be able to do
something.
454
00:22:28,291 --> 00:22:32,199
Yes, well, I'm very pleased that you've
fixed the problem there. Could you
455
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,920
please just unfix it for a minute?
456
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,220
Oh, well, thank you very much. Thank you
very bloody much.
457
00:22:38,221 --> 00:22:42,699
But you've asked every single guy in the
newsroom, and that accounts for your
458
00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:43,739
entire social life.
459
00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:46,870
Face it, Linda. Do you want to wear an
item? No chance, Thompson.
460
00:22:46,871 --> 00:22:49,979
Why don't you just give up and face the
fact that you're crazy about?
461
00:22:49,980 --> 00:22:51,040
I'm crazy about you.
462
00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:53,889
Who's been doing all the asking for the
last six months?
463
00:22:53,890 --> 00:22:57,229
Yeah, and who had Charlotte Rendell
here? Died 14 different colours because
464
00:22:57,230 --> 00:22:58,730
went out with her for one night.
465
00:22:58,731 --> 00:23:02,009
You beat up a guy because he wrote about
me on a wall. That makes you crazier.
466
00:23:02,010 --> 00:23:03,570
Look, will you two just shut up?
467
00:23:04,730 --> 00:23:06,170
Look, what is it with you two?
468
00:23:06,171 --> 00:23:09,849
You want to go out with each other. We
all know you want to go out with each
469
00:23:09,850 --> 00:23:13,229
other. So here's a little idea off the
top of my head. Go out with each other
470
00:23:13,230 --> 00:23:14,610
and give us all a bit of peace.
471
00:23:14,710 --> 00:23:16,590
Before you say a word, shut up.
472
00:23:16,591 --> 00:23:20,059
There's a theory in this newsroom that
if you keep your mouth shut for more
473
00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:24,579
30 seconds, your head will explode. So
prove us all wrong. The only thing I
474
00:23:24,580 --> 00:23:27,060
to hear your mouth do is to ask Spike to
this party.
475
00:23:27,420 --> 00:23:28,470
Now. This minute.
476
00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:32,560
Spike, want to go to a party? Spike?
477
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,140
Yeah, sure. I'd love to.
478
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,979
Good. And furthermore, I am now
designating this party as your first
479
00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:40,030
date.
480
00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:49,430
You see, Linda, it wasn't so difficult
after all, was it?
481
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,290
Are you going to let him speak to me
like this?
482
00:24:17,481 --> 00:24:23,009
And then in fourth year, there was this
girl called Liz Turner.
483
00:24:23,010 --> 00:24:24,009
Do you remember her, Sarah?
484
00:24:24,010 --> 00:24:27,029
Look, Kenny, I don't think this is... I
was so mad about her, but I never worked
485
00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:28,689
up the courage to speak to her or
anything.
486
00:24:28,690 --> 00:24:31,629
I got Freddie Benson, who was like my
best friend at the time, to ask her out
487
00:24:31,630 --> 00:24:32,930
for me. How did it go?
488
00:24:33,290 --> 00:24:35,460
Pretty well, really. They're still
dating.
489
00:24:35,910 --> 00:24:38,560
Kenny, I really think we should get off
this subject.
490
00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:40,089
Do you know why Jenny dumped me?
491
00:24:40,090 --> 00:24:44,249
She said I was the most understanding
person she'd ever met, and we had to
492
00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:45,570
up before she strangled me.
493
00:24:46,090 --> 00:24:47,230
I got my own back on her.
494
00:24:47,530 --> 00:24:48,670
I told her I understood.
495
00:24:48,671 --> 00:24:51,059
What point are you trying to make?
496
00:24:51,060 --> 00:24:54,679
Well, you know, I'm actually getting
sick of people with successful love
497
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,300
I'm sick of happy relationships.
498
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,250
But anyway, what's happening to you
lately?
499
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:00,740
Oh, nothing.
500
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:05,340
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