All language subtitles for Press Gang s02e01 Breakfast At Czars

Shut up, Kenny.

Kenny,

what choice have we got? How did you
know it was me?

I've delayed the print while we've got
till seven.

How did you know I was here?

What's seven in the morning?

Look, it was on Radio Sherrington.
They're going ahead and closing

Yeah, I know that.

So how are we supposed to print a whole
edition about us saving the place when

we haven't saved it? How can we print a
whole new edition by seven in the

morning? Be serious.

We did it in three hours once.

Yeah, not overnight.

Start phoning round. Get as many of the
graphics team in as you can. Definitely

Sam and Ian. Linda, you can't expect
people to spend all night in the

I want everyone who was on the sports
centre story. We'll need them.

Linda, we're not doing this.

I don't care what they say to their
parents. Just tell them to get in here.

We're not doing it.

Oh, yeah?

So why are you getting dressed?

How did you know I was getting dressed?

Thank you, Linda Day.

And here we go again.

the moment, but if you care to leave a
message, I'll get back to you as soon as

I can.

Sorry to phone you so late, Mr Mayhew.
This is Sarah Jackson, Junior Gazette.

We've just heard that the Wellside
Community Sports Centre is closing after

and I was wondering if you could give us
your opinion on that, seeing as you

seemed to think it was definitely
staying open.

I'll be at the newsroom most of the
night. We're trying to get a new edition

together.

Thank you.

Hey, well done on Pisces.

Oh, yeah, right.

What?

Sam, nothing yet?

Linda, I wouldn't...

Go

away, Linda.

By the way, for every hour, I work past
one o 'clock and want a night off next

week, OK?

Catching up on your sleep, I expect.

Absolutely. I put a lot of work into
this face. I don't want it getting all

creepy. Why not? It might give you some
character.

Well, you've got enough character for
both of our faces.

For both of our faces? Or just both of
yours?

Get me story rough as soon as possible.

We'll do you a layout and you can work
to that.

You'll get finalised copy when I've
approved it and you'll work your layout

that. Whatever you say.

You took the words right out of my
mouth.

She's been here a whole few weeks. She's
kind of full of herself, isn't she?

Well, you did promise not to go poking
your nose around her graphics room.

She's arrogant, opinionated and
impossible to deal with. Who does she

is? You.

Remind me, why are we still friends?

Well, we fight about the same things.

Works for me. You took your time getting
here.

Good work on Ares, Franz.

Eh?

Linda, I've been stuck on the phone.
There's talk in my mouth all day.

What's in the box, Colin?

Which box is that, Kevin?

The one you got there.

Oh, no.

Fred, look at this strange box. I wonder
who left it here.

You did.

Oh, yeah, I remember now.

Hey, what is it?

Nothing's in it. Why should anything be
in it? Why do you have to go around

assuming that boxes have things in them
all the time?

Stop overreacting.

Savvy bin.

Nice one on Gemini.

What?

Hello, Chrissie Stewart.

Linda's what?

We're using your feature on the dog
pound on page two. A bit waffly, but

the right length.

I've got a lovely picture of Linda with
toothache. Do you want a long one? It's

really amazing.

You said Sagittarius would have an
unexpected visit from a relative.

That's just what happened. My arm came
from whale.

It's getting serious.

It's kind of new material. Most of this
stuff has to go.

Do you think I could fire Sam for
something? Why don't we just publish a

late? You know what it does for sales.
Did you promise her a night off an hour?

Yeah, I promised a lot of things, Linda.
I was persuading people.

Well, I really think I should fire her
for something.

Sarah.

Did you find Radio Sherrington? I did.
They say, yes, welfare is closing and

anything else is just rumour. And they
say that straight from the horse's

So much for our contact on the council.
But, mate, you assured us.

He told us the council were about to
meet and they were definitely going to

Wellside open.

That's why we went ahead with a victory
edition.

Yeah, and I said you were jumping the
gun.

So Mayhew was wrong.

Mayhew's on the council. How could he be
wrong?

And why didn't he phone and tell us?

Have you tried phoning him? I keep
getting his answering machine. Keep

There's something funny about this,
Linda.

Why did you bother getting Colin in? I
didn't.

I find everyone except Colin.

Look, Linda, I found this dangerous saw.

It was in one of the old storage
cupboards. I'd better go and put it

safe.

And the hatchet.

And the screwdriver.

And that hammer.

Is there something going on we don't
know about?

Usually.

Everyone except Colin?

Yeah. Everyone?

Yeah, why? What's wrong? What's wrong?

You idiot, what's wrong? I've got to
change into something.

Into what? I don't know, something.

Why? Why?

Kenny, I'm still in my pyjamas. Well,
Linda.

Pyjamas.

How did you know I was coming?

Do you wear those glasses at night?

At night time?

Somebody could have told me.

What do you want, Spike?

Oh, nothing. Just looking. Linda. Well,
couldn't you look somewhere else? I'm

finding it difficult.

Nice pyjamas, Linda, but I prefer your
other ones. You've never seen my other

pyjamas. He's never seen my other
pyjamas. I've seen everything you wear,

I've got pictures of your clothes lying.

Hello, Junior Gazette. You're only here
to make fun, aren't you? You're only

here to swan around and make a lot of
stupid comments.

That was just a lucky guess.

Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that, Chrissie,
but it is an emergency.

Get out. Just get out, Spike. Get out of
my newsroom, and I never want to see

you again for the rest of my life ever.

Okay, fine.

Where are you going?

Uh, to a party, actually.

Well, I'm not coming.

Yeah, hang on.

Linda. The reason you're not coming,
Linda, is because I'm not asking you.

always ask me.

Every time you go to a party, you ask
me. Give me one reason this time why you

wouldn't ask me.

Can we go now, Clay? Yeah. Uh,
Charlotte, this is Linda. Linda,

Linda, it's Chrissy, and it's important.

Charlotte's a student at the college.

Studying particle physics. Aren't you,
Charlotte?

Linda's editor of the Junior Gazette.
Aren't you, Linda?

Yeah. Well, I'm glad that's all cleared
up.

Linda, this really is important.

Hey, do you want to see my front page?

Oh, yeah.

Jack?

I've just had five phone calls from some
very angry, very worried parents

wondering what you're up to. We have to
change tomorrow's edition.

Not overnight.

We have to do it overnight. It's the
only time we've got.

That's not the point. Apart from
anything else, you're about to have a

of mums and dads dragging your news team
away.

Now listen. Okay, thanks for the
warning.

That was not a warning.

Linda!

Oh, I asked this guy if he's selling.

He looks so guilty, he's sweating steam.
No way, Linda.

What did they have?

parents for? Why can't they just sneak
out like I did?

You can't do this. You can't lock them
out.

So what are you going to tell them then?
They're going to kill you. And so my

reporters didn't think of telling me.
Okay, everyone, listen, please.

We've got a problem.

There's a lot of people out there who
don't think we've a right to be doing

this. There's a lot of people who don't
seem to think our paper's worth staying

up for.

In fact, they all seem to think we
should be home in bed like good little

children.

Which is why there's a whole load of
parents on their way here to drag us

tuck us in and maybe read us a bedtime
story.

Well,

they're not going to get away with it.
No way. I've locked the doors.

Yeah,

terrific. Turkey's cheering Christmas.

You have my guarantee no one gets in
here till we're finished.

Or gets out.

We need to know.

Look, can you give us some idea?

Listen, everybody, please.

They've locked the door, they're not
answering the phone, so there's not a

deal I can do. So if you could just be
patient. Thank you. We're very

They've locked themselves in and won't
talk to anyone.

I'll call you back.

Why, Councillor Mayhew, thank you for
using my phone. Where's Mr Kerr? In

for a week. Anything you want to say to
him, you can shout at me. You realise

this is an outrage?

I'd call it regrettable.

First we had that ridiculous campaign
about the wellside closure.

It's regrettable, yes.

Well, I'm going to go and talk to the
parents.

There are a lot of very angry people out
there, Miss Stewart. Or voters, as

they're sometimes known.

Bill?

Peter.

Well, she does seem to have gone a
little too far this time. Oh, Bill, too

If we can say the junior gazette, if,
we're going to have to replace Linda.

Storage for page two, finalised. I've
got Monday.

Monday what?

Off.

Jane. Jane, you're on Aquarius, right?

Yeah. Have you been having difficulties
in your love life?

But it's supposed to be an all -night
party.

Can't you keep it going till we get
there? You know, pass out... Phone bill,

Spike. No private calls.

Unlock the door. I'd love to, but we
don't want a place full of marauding

parents, do we?

Spike, are we going to spend all night
with these kids?

Charlotte, are you sure that chair's
quite comfortable enough for you? Fine,

thank you. Oh, well, maybe your face
always looks like that.

How's it going?

I've written four new stories out of
nothing. My brain now faces the other

Well, it'd be nice to know it's the
right way round for once.

Linda, it doesn't make sense.

I've been doing some thinking. Mayhew
was in charge of the working party

into Wellside. It was virtually down to
him whether it closed or not.

I know. So why did he tell us it was
staying open when he must have known it

wasn't? Well, obviously he didn't know.

He must have.

Well, we'll worry about it next edition.
Let's just get this one out for now.

How do you feel about working late at
the Junior Gazette?

Colin!

What are you doing? Kenny, I was having
this terrible dream I kept hitting this

box with a hatchet.

Oh, no, it was real.

That was me I coughed. There's someone
in there.

It's one of my acts.

Your acts?

Colin Matthews' theatrical management.

He was doing a show at the Churchill in
front of a hundred people.

A show? What does he do?

Promise you won't laugh?

Yeah. You've got a promise?

I promise.

He's a... He's an escape artist.

Sophie Jenkins and Laura Wilmot.

Remember? The ones who were suspended
for doing a painting of their art

as Joan of Arc.

What's wrong with that?

She was tied to a stake and burning.

And we did a sculpture of Miss MacDonald
as Mary Queen of Scots.

Head in a basket.

And now they're doing a feature for the
school magazine about the Junior

Gazette, right?

Sort of.

Linda Day, an expose.

So he comes out on stage, gets bunged
into a couple of sacks, chained up and

locked into that thing.

Can you imagine it? For two hours, the
audience sat and looked at a box with a

spotlight on it.

Not many people came back after the
interval.

At the end, there was just these four
drama students who gave it a standing

ovation and asked me to join their
theatre group.

Kenny, have you any idea how humiliating
it is to have to take your escape

artist home in a box?

Here we go.

Do your parents know you're here? Do
yours?

We heard what was happening here
tonight.

I thought I'd make a really interesting
article.

Something really exciting.

Part of this or hairdressing?

Girls, it's hairdressing.

Linda.

Linda, you still haven't told me what's
in the same spread.

I need to know soon before I have too
many more nights off.

Okay, okay, I'm coming. You two girls
find a quiet corner and keep it that

Pacing the cage, Tiger?

No, I'm just a little tired.

You know, I'm not used to being up this
late without loud music and a peer

group. Peer group available?

They're not playing my song.

You seem to be taking this very well.

Ah, you was expecting one of those fight
things that we do, huh?

Well, we've got all this corridor to
march up and down.

True. Maybe tomorrow night. I've got a
headache.

Have you been fighting with someone
else?

Now, you know the main reason you like
this door is to stop me going out with

Charlotte tonight.

And the main reason you brought
Charlotte by the newsroom was to make me

jealous.

Don't you think she's just a bit
obvious?

That was one of the first things I
noticed, yeah.

But you still fancy her rotten, right?

Well, have you seen the way she looks?

I'd go out with just a dress.

Okay, here's the deal.

We both know why we're here. We both
know what's going on.

So let's cut out the fancy footwork.

What I'm offering here is like a...

Free road test, you know.

One kick, Linda. One long, serious kick.
And then if we like it, then we're an

item. And if we don't, then we're
history.

What do you think, boss? Let's clear
this thing up once and for all.

Oh, well, it was only a suggestion.

Okay.

What? I will if you will.

I believe it takes two.

Are you serious?

And you'd better be everything you're
cracked up to be after everything I've

heard. Oh, yeah? What have you heard?

No bells as yet.

Before I do this, let me assure you one
thing, that when I bring you around,

I'll do it real gently.

Linda, I was... We were just... I was
going... Yeah, neither was I.

Oh, there it is.

For a moment, I thought that was
Charlotte.

What if it had been Charlotte?

Well, if this kiss with you doesn't work
out, I don't want to blow my chances

with her.

I don't believe it.

first kiss and you've got a backup in
case I fail it. Which I'm sure you're

going to do.

Right.

Does this mean I don't get my kiss now?

Right. I'd rather fail my school exam,
be unable to get a job, run to the

streets destitute with a bottle and be
found dead of hypothermia on a

Flirt!

Outrageous. Absolutely outrageous.

He's dead.

You do realise, Miss Stewart, that after
this the Junior Gazette has to go.

Bill.

I should have thought of it sooner.

Oh.

Okay, everybody, not long till your
place is up. Linda.

You're a Virgo, aren't you? Yeah.

Have you been having any sleepless
nights lately?

Oh, forget I have, no.

I swear it's shorter.

I go to sleep, I wake up.

And he's shorter.

Mr Sullivan, how did you... I remembered
you had a back door and guessed that Mr

Kerr would have a key.

I'm out of here.

Spike!

Spike! What are you doing?

I'm going!

Where? It's ten to five in the morning,
your party's over and your date's

asleep. Yeah, well, there's always
tomorrow night.

You've got late duty.

Linda, if you don't want me to go out
with her, why don't you just say so?

I don't want you to go out with her.

Well, I don't care. I'm going to. Well,
good.

That's enough, you two.

I'm sorry, sir. It's just been one of
those kind of days.

Nights, evenings, all of the above.

What you don't seem to realize, what
none of you seem to realize, is that you

are in the midst of a very serious
situation.

And I mean very serious.

Is there a good explanation for that?

Yes. Fine.

Councillor Mayhew is currently over in
the other building talking to all of

parents and convincing them that this
paper should be closed down.

Or at any rate, that this young lady
should be dismissed from it.

You are in a grave situation.

And frankly, I don't see how you're
going to get out of it.

I do.

I checked through the wellside file,
Linda, and I was right. It doesn't make

sense.

Mayhew?

Yeah.

I suggest that we all have a sit down
and listen to what Sarah's got to say.

If the editor's agreeable.

Over by your desk, then.

Does she know you're doing that?

She's going to be ever so pleased.

We're giving her straight.

Linda! I'm coming.

Look, you can't...

Want a real challenge.

And about time.

Excuse me.

Well, I'm glad you children have finally
come to your senses.

A little late in the day, perhaps.

But then that can't be helped.

Mr Mayhew, that's not what we want to
talk about.

Well, I hardly think it matters what you
want to talk about.

Peter, I think you should just listen.

Mr Mayhew, how do you think our parents
are going to react when they discover it

was your fault we spent all night in the
newsroom?

What? Sarah?

I'm Sarah Jackson. We spoke on the
phone.

I'm the one you told two days ago that
the sports centre was staying open.

that's what I firmly believed at the
time.

No, it wasn't.

If you'd believed that, you would have
told somebody other than us, and you

didn't. We're the only people who ever
knew that the closure was in doubt,

makes me believe that the closure never
was in doubt.

Then what reason would I have had? You
were annoyed and embarrassed at the

Junior Gazette campaign, so you thought
you could embarrass us in return,

headlining our own victory when we
hadn't won. And how could it ever get

you? All you'd done was make an honest
mistake, which we were naive enough to

print. A little joke at the expense of a
kiddie newspaper.

I suppose you only got worried when you
heard we were staying up all night to

change the edition.

Is this true?

It's nonsense.

Unprovable nonsense.

We don't have to prove it. We just have
to print it.

And as you say, there are a lot of angry
people out there.

Or voters, as they're sometimes known.

Miss Stewart, you're not going to let
them run this story?

If they don't run it, I will.

Actually, no one would have to run it.

If you gave us a better story to run.

Of course we haven't really saved it.

We've just delayed the decision for six
months, but it looks like a victory, and

that's all that matters.

You're such an idealist, Linda. Oh, come
on, Kenny.

Our parents are shut up because they
think we've achieved something, and

shut up because he's terrified of our
parents. It's perfect.

Yeah.

Well, I'm on a winning streak.

Well, you must be a Libra, then.

How do you know that? Well, I'm on a bit
of a winning streak myself.

Yeah, but it's a bit ironic, though,
isn't it? I mean, we spend all night in

newsroom making a new edition, and we
end up printing the old one.

True. Just think... Spike, you missed
your date for nothing.

Oh, Charlotte.

I completely forgot.

She must be still asleep in the
newsroom.

Spike, they told me you were in there.
You might have woken me.

Listen, I'm going home now, OK? I'll see
you next week.

Interesting.

Yeah?

Listen,

has anybody in here got a mirror?

Never mind.

You had something to do with that,
didn't you?

I know you do.

Linda, you nearly kissed me. You gave me
a nearly kiss.

And you only nearly kissed someone you,
you know... Nearly fancy?

You nearly fancy me. No.

You must have nearly fancied me last
night, one inch closer.

Well, maybe last night. It was very
late.

Did you say maybe there? Last night was
a maybe.

Well, almost.

Maybe almost.

You maybe almost nearly fancied me.

Look, there is absolutely no way on
earth I would ever even consider going

with you. But just for the record, I'll
come right out and say it.

You are not the most completely
repulsive guy I have ever met in my

everybody. Linda says I'm not the most
completely repulsive guy she's ever met

in her life. Spike.

You're just coming after me now.