Original subtitles

You're not blackmailing me, David.

Photo copies of absence notes. Photo copies of homework answers.

Details of when they were used and by whom.

Problem.

You were trying to blackmail your way into writing for the Gazette.

Do you know how sick that is?

I don't think of it as blackmail.

David Jeffords. You take him for English, don't you? Yes.

He's a jerk, isn't he?

Blaming yourself is stupid, Linda. Really stupid.

I think David Jefford's blaming you, Linda.

Do you really think David Jefford killed himself because you told him he wasn't

a nice person?

Think what kind of person goes telling on his friends.

If you want to learn something from it, Linda... Think what kind of person tries

to blackmail people.

Learn this.

Think what kind of person you are, David.

Be careful what you say to people.

Because I have to tell you, right now you're not nice to know.

It might be the last thing they hear.

Dear all, after what happened yesterday and my part in it, I don't think it

would be right for me to continue as editor of the Junior Gazette.

To be honest, I don't think I could ever face it now anyway.

Thanks to you all for your support.

Apologies to anyone who feels I've let them down.

Please also convey my thanks to Mr Kerr.

My very best wishes and all my love, Linda.

OK, can we have some quiet, please?

Can we have some quiet, please?

Now, look, I don't know when Linda's coming back.

And no, the school won't tell me anything.

And I've tried phoning, but she won't even come to the phone. It's been three

days, Kenny.

Yeah, I know. She hasn't even been at school.

I know.

Well, do you know if she's coming back at all?

I can tell you this.

David Jefford isn't coming back.

Is anybody remembering that?

What do we do about a new editor?

What? We're going to need a new editor, aren't we?

Can I just make a contribution here?

I think you all know that Linda was, well, kind of my role model.

And what I really wanted to say was, I don't think we should forget Linda Day.

Even as the Junior Gazette heads into a new and exciting future, I don't think

we should forget the past, however distant.

It's the only statement I wish to make at this time.

Thank you all for listening.

He sells kittens to a restaurant.

He makes his grandmother wear a price tag.

I mean, editor.

You moved your head, sir.

Sorry.

Look, you're the only one Linda listens to. Give her a call. Tell her she's got

to come back.

What are these kids doing?

Um, some project for their art class, apparently.

We're building a tomb.

A tomb?

Mr. Barnes said we can use any teacher we wanted for it.

You didn't tell me it was a tomb.

Mr. Barnes, it was better not.

That does finish, sir.

Good.

I'll be having a word with Mr Barnes.

So how about it? A phone call?

Spike, I think you ought to realise... Not now, Laura.

Linda needs some time, Spike.

David's suicide upset her a great deal.

She simply doesn't feel up to facing anyone right now.

But... She needs time, Spike.

Now. I think you ought to go back to your class, don't you? Yeah.

Could you put your face in your class to Paris, sir?

Well, thank you, Mr Sullivan. Doesn't he realise we could end up with Colin as

editor? Well, how bad could that be?

Hi there, mates, chums, pals, buddies.

The terrible three, eh? What a photo opportunity.

Where's Danny?

He's looking for a puppy for the beach shows.

What do you want, Colin?

You know, my mates, my pals, my chums, my buddies.

Are you going to vote for me, then?

Not if you paid us.

Well, there goes my next suggestion, then. Come on, friends, we're wasting

time.

Is there no way we can get Kenny to stand against them?

We're working on it. I don't want to be editor.

Kenny, let me tell you what I've got out here.

I've got a nomination form for the editor election.

I've got eight of my best... Friends waiting to see you when you come out.

I've got your trousers.

Let's talk.

So that was the reason why I decided to stand for election after all.

Because I wanted to see that all of Linda's plans for the future were going

ahead as she'd have wanted.

Now, a vote for me this afternoon is a vote for a longer weekly paper with the

addition of at least two more double sheets.

It's also a vote for a possible bi -weekly weekend special.

You're the one person Linda listens to. Phone her up. Tell her she's got to come

back. Spike, I don't think that's what Linda needs right now. Yeah, I know.

Time. Speaking of which, they'll be voting soon. Shouldn't you be over

You know what gets me mad? We're talking to Snow. She's never coming back.

What's your betting?

Kenny or Colin?

Kenny, no problem.

He's got the experience.

Not that it matters, right?

When you spoke to Mr. Sullivan about Linda, did he mention anything specific?

No.

He just...

There's something you haven't told us, isn't there?

You'd better get over there and vote.

We don't want Colin to end up running the paper, do we?

Can I just say, Kenny, can I just say, how much I respect you for carrying on

with this campaign in the face of your deep personal crisis.

What crisis?

What crisis, he says to me. Is this guy brave or what? I mean, courage, right?

To think of all the terrible, tragic and even disgusting things going on in your

private life.

I'm just so amazed how you can... Hello?

No, he's not here at the moment.

Oh, hang on, hang on. He just walked in.

Nothing's happening in my private life. I don't even have one.

Absolutely. I agree. Nothing happened.

I want to say here and now, in front of everybody, that I personally believe

that all 14 of them were lying.

I mean, how can they be sure? It was dark. You were wearing a mask.

Hi, Billy. How's paralysis?

Oh, sleeping in his basket, as usual.

I've been doing some poking around in the school files.

You know, if those guys would just use the computer the way I taught them,

spying on them would be so much easier.

Billy, what's up? I found out something about Linda. I think you ought to know.

Well, what?

It's been a good campaign, a clean campaign.

Except for, of course, those dreadful, vicious, revolting rumours some

people have been spreading about my good friend and opponent, Kenny Phillips.

For instance... You're kidding me. You've got to be kidding me. I'm not,

It's right there in a school file.

Spike? But enough about Kenny. We're talking shorter shifts in the newsroom.

punchier, zappier newspaper, people.

We're talking shorter hours and shorter words.

So if you want what I want, vote the way I want you.

I'm sorry, but Linda can't talk to you, does she?

Just tell her it's really important. Tell her it's me, Spike. She can't talk

anyone. I'm sorry.

What do you think you're... Linda! What do you think you're doing? Linda! Get

down those desks! How do I have this second?

I'm warning you, I'm going to call the police!

Linda!

Get out of there!

I mean it, out, or I'll call the police.

Look, I've just found out that she's leaving Norbridge High.

She's got to transfer to another school, is that right?

Oh. Look, and if she's leaving school, then she won't be coming back to the

Junior Gazette either, will she?

Ever.

Right?

Who are you?

I love it. It's got taste. It just smells of taste.

Kenny, look at this. Does this make a statement to you?

Yeah, that'll be lovely when it's finished.

Kenny, it is finished.

Oh, right.

I just didn't read it to the end.

Colin!

Danny!

How's this?

Not bad. It makes a power statement.

But I want to look intellectual, too. Jimmy, get me a book for the desk. A

one. Green, to tone in with the pot plant.

Second thought?

Make it a dictionary.

I love the dictionary, Kenny. It's the only book with the words in the right

order. Colin, am I still the assistant editor?

Of course you are.

Danny, how about an angle -poison lamp that I can point at people?

So why is Fred at my desk?

Because I've promoted you now.

You're now executive assistant editor. Well done.

Oh, great. So what do I do now? Fill in the black squares of a crossword? Some

of them, yeah.

Colin, I just want you to know I won't do it.

It's a great story and we've got proof.

Look, there was a royal visit to this very city exactly nine months before you

were born.

Have a can of Coela.

It's a new soft drink my uncle's firm is developing. Have it on me.

Even though I paid for them all out of my own pocket.

30 pence.

Thanks. So where's my desk now?

Now, I'm glad you asked that, Kenny, because that's something we're really

planning on getting around to. You mean I don't even have a desk?

Fred, put Kenny's desk on the top of my major urgent priorities list. I can't

believe it. And underline it. Use the red pen.

Colin, this is crazy.

Look, it's not so much the desk.

Scrap the desk, Fred. He doesn't want it.

Colin, what I'm trying to say is... Kenny, got to move. Loved your input.

do lunch.

I don't like the way the New Look paper is shaping up. I don't like the prize

-winning bingo. I don't like the 12 -sentence limit on story length. And I

especially don't like that stupid article on how Nostradamus believed he'd

wandered the Earth as a ghost after his death. What's wrong with that? A lot of

newspapers ran that story.

Yes, but we're the only one doing the interview.

Hey, Spike. How's life?

I've been meaning to have a word. Got a moment?

You know... I've only been at it two days now, Spike, and I'm beginning to

that you're not totally 100 % behind me. Am I right?

Let's be friends, Spike. I'm sure we've both got a lot in common. I know I have.

Tell you what.

Let's have a can of coiler at only 30 pence a unit and talk it over.

Colin. Yeah?

I'd rather live with my grandparents.

Hey, what, have you never seen two best friends fighting before?

Spike!

Spike, come on, we're surviving, we're still here.

Some of us.

I saw you hanging about with Barry Crowther and that lot again.

And I heard you got in trouble in a couple of classes.

And Danny said you'd been sent to the headmaster twice already this week.

So? Well, it's like the stuff you did before you joined the paper, isn't it?

You don't want to go back to all that, Spike.

You were nearly chucked out of school last time, and you'll get chucked out

if you're not careful.

Look close.

I'm trembling.

Spike, remember that school science department story we were working on? You

researched it, I wrote it, and Linda rejected it.

What? Look, it was only two weeks ago.

John Hampton, fifth year, does a brilliant project on mating cycle of the

and gets failed for bad handwriting.

What's that got to do with anything?

Colin wants to do the story. And if Colin wants to do the story, then you've

to admit one thing, Spike.

You must have some kind of commitment to serious journalism.

There it is, people.

The first edition of our new look, Gaz.

Hey,

Sarah, what do you think of the way I spiced up your lead story?

Nothing longer than four letters.

So what do you think then, Mystica?

Speechless, eh?

No, sir.

All I want is a lie down and some aspirin.

We'll be giving them away with the next edition, sir.

Guys, he loved it.

I really don't know why I'm doing this.

It's for our history project, Mika. I know.

Why are you only measuring up to my neck?

It's about the guillotine, Mika.

Maybe Linda will see the paper and come back.

You know, when she sees how bad it is?

Linda quit the school and the papers so she could forget about what happened.

Do you think she's going to pop into the newsagents to buy a reminder?

No, I suppose not.

How long have I been at this computer?

A couple of hours.

Have you found anything yet?

If they used the filing system the way they're supposed to, they'd have a

contact address for her.

But they don't, right?

They don't.

You know...

Sometimes I think she really means it.

She's really not coming back.

Oh, by the way, Spike, I had a wander through your school file, too.

The discipline section.

You had quite an interesting week.

In fact, I think we could sell the film rights.

What are you trying to say?

Call it.

Call it or you'll be on a ticket out.

You should get together with Sarah.

And adopt me.

I love it, Julie. It's got taste.

It's oozing with taste.

It was his idea.

I'd love to get your input right now, Spike, but I've got something to do.

It's not myself that I'm worried about. It's the other kids, the ones less able

to take care of themselves.

I just made a grab and he fell, that's all.

Mr Sullivan, I have a number of people willing to testify that Spike is a

dangerous psychopath and a menace to society.

And that'll be a professional judgement, will it?

Oh, yes, sir. They'll all be paid.

I don't get it, Spike.

In the time you've been involved with the Junior Gazette, your behaviour has

been exemplary.

And now suddenly this.

What am I to do with you? I have a suggestion.

Really? Tell me where Linda is.

Don't let him push you around, sir.

I've already explained to you, Spike, she needs time.

And we need her.

I don't think it'd hurt Linda to know that right now.

Your attitude is extraordinary, and your behavior a disgrace.

You will take a suspension for the rest of the day.

Then you will come back tomorrow to discuss your future at this school,

you have one.

In the meantime, you will write this out 500 times.

And make sure that's on Mr. Tully's desk by first thing tomorrow morning, Spike.

I think you ought to get going, don't you? Sure.

The apple's in the mail.

Heads, eh?

Quiet.

Not that one.

Let's brighten the traffic.

I mean, look at it. They'll be picking up the color clash on CB radio.

Well, at least look pleased to see me.

I've been in about every dress shop in Sherrington.

Why?

Buying a dress for my sister.

You don't have a sister.

That's okay. I can buy a dress.

I got a thought for you.

Today's the third day of the rest of your life, starting from two days ago.

I got lots of other jokes, and they're just as bad, and I'm just as prepared to

use them.

Okay. Come in.

Linda, you got the dress sense of a clothesline.

Thank you.

No, really.

I mean those cardigans you wear in the newsroom.

Even I wouldn't look good in those cardigans.

My mum needs them.

Yeah? Well, tell her something from me.

Your arms, they're both the same length.

Gotcha.

Dress shops, Linda.

Your aunt said you've been going to them all week.

Going, but never buying.

Remember the first edition?

When we nearly crashed the paper with the supermarket story?

Sure. I was chief crasher.

I felt so bad.

I thought I'd totally screwed up.

That I was a complete failure.

I went down the high street and tried on every damn dress I could find in my

size. Yeah?

Yeah.

I just wanted to see me looking different.

Better.

Taller.

So, is this your record?

Have you spent a whole week in dress shops before?

Well, no.

But then I've never killed anyone before either.

Linda, he killed himself.

Because of me. No.

Can you prove that?

Well?

Look, save me some time. Is there going to be anything I can say to persuade you

to come back?

You know, Spike, you're a very nice person.

And it was really sweet of you to come looking for me. But I'm afraid there's

absolutely nothing you can say to make me change my mind.

Where are you going?

Well, you said there was nothing I could say.

Would it hurt you to try a little harder?

Linda, David didn't kill himself because of you.

So tell yourself that.

Don't wait for me.

This is a neat trick, Spike, but it isn't going to work.

This is not a trick.

If this was a trick, I'd be doing something more subtle.

Now, where is my train schedule?

Ah, yes.

Here it is.

And off I jolly well go.

It's not going to work, Spike.

Happy reading.

The Gaz?

No, no, they're in perfect condition. I know, it's hard to believe at that

price. But there you are.

Excuse me a moment, Colin.

I've got this story breaking about an experimental soft drink that causes

terrible facial stains.

It's very funny.

It's very funny.

Look, we're not just talking cooking here. We're talking kitchen space.

Kenny, I've got to go out for a while. Cover for me.

Sure. Oh, by the way, I've been meaning to ask, what exactly does the executive

assistant editor actually do? Fill in the black squares in the crossword?

Some of them.

No, no, none of these cookers have ever exploded. That's a stupid misguided

rumor spread by some seriously misguided people.

Oh, it was your cooker.

Let's do lunch.

Linda, baby.

What do you think of the new look?

Do you love it? Lots of zap. Lots of power, right?

I want it on the wall between the frame first edition and the news team

photograph. What?

Your head.

Right, nobody leaves here before 11 this evening. We've got two days to turn the

next position around.

As in, back the right way up.

Kenny, I want a new team meeting before I finish this sentence.

Julie, I want the graphics team roasting on a spit, but I'll settle for a

meeting in half an hour.

Danny, start trembling. I'll see you after that.

Oh, and by the way, everyone, hello again.

Can I just remind you people that I am the democratically elected welcoming

party. Great to have you back, Linda. Go think of some good excuses, Colin.

You're going to need them.

She's such a kidder.

Right, everybody, let's get to work.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Spike.

Oh, Linda, sorry about embarrassing you.

Embarrassing me? Mm -hm. When?

Oh, about now.

Spike, what are you doing?

Spike,

I'm warning you, put me down.

I'm not going out with you.

Spike, can I just say something serious to you? Don't make a joke.

No, I wasn't going. You were. You had that look.

I'm just trying to say that I'm grateful you came to Sherrington looking for me,

okay?

Okay. And I'm grateful that since I got back, you haven't been asking me out

every five minutes.

Well... I mean, you haven't been coming on to me all the time like you normally

do. No, well, I thought maybe you needed to... Of course, I realise I probably

haven't been looking my best lately.

Hey, no, you look great. And you've probably got a lot of other people you

to talk to. I understand that.

Linda, I just... Really, it's good of you to leave me alone all the time.

Hey, Linda.

I'm getting somewhere with you, aren't I?

Like? Yeah.

You have got to be joking.