All language subtitles for Press Gang s01e09 Both Sides Of The Paper.eng

Right now, a fortnight might seem like a
long time.

But let me assure you that when you're
studying for exams, two weeks can seem

like no time at all.

Pupils are always asking how much time
they should spend studying.

The answer is all the time.

Starting now.

Cancel your social life. Forget the
television.

Get yourself a place in the house where
you can work undeterred.

On the day of the exam, get up early.

Make sure you bring more than one pen.

Don't forget your calculator.

Read the questions carefully.

Write on both sides of the paper.

Both sides of the paper.

Both sides of the paper.

Hi, this is Tony Nolan, own ranger,
reporting to you on Radio Sheridan.

Well, today I've moseyed on down to the
offices of the Junior Gazette newsroom.

Babe, I'm not getting the feel of this.

Can we try it again?

Sam. No, this is Tony.

Yeah, and this is Sam.

Sorry, I always get you mixed up with
Sam.

Yeah, OK, then. Tape running.

Hi.

I always thought the phone range was
life.

Until you met him.

Come on, Spike, this guy's been in
really good publicity.

The guy's sort of brain dead.

If he was on a life support, he'd give
away his kidneys.

What's that old lady doing these days?
The one that was saving up her cat to

make a coat?

Wearing them.

Oh.

And what year was the Paul Laura mental
attack passed?

1834.

Spike, parliamentary format?

Can you hum one of those singles?

Two weeks till the exam spike.

Get worried.

You know, I used to wonder why they
called you laughing, Linda. And then it

me. They don't.

Are you saying I haven't got a sense of
humour?

That was a joke.

Linda, quickly, he wants to interview
you.

What? Tony Nolan.

Come on.

An interview on the phone?

Now, that's what I call a chat -up line.

Why can't he use a tape recorder like
everyone else? Well, then he wouldn't be

called the phone ranger, would he? Well,
how about the tape crusader?

And here she is.

Linda Day, editor of the Junior Gazette.

Hello, Linda.

Hello, Tony.

Tell me, Linda, how did this Junior
paper first get started?

Well, it was Mr Kerr's idea, really. He
kind of thought there should be

something more for the young people in
the area.

Go on.

Well, anyway, he thought there should be
something more for the young people

here, and so he got some of us a
headmaster.

What?

I'll call you back.

Is this guy, like, important?

Believe me, this guy loves important.

Bike.

Him here?

This is usually the part where I wake up
sweating.

Did you say you just walked in?

These maths formula, I can never
remember them. The headmaster.

I've written them out about a hundred
times. They just won't stick.

Have you tried writing them in your
pencil case?

Oh, yes, that is going to help me
remember them in an exam.

Will, if you remember your fence, OK?

You want us to what?

I have my reasons, Linda. They should be
obvious.

Mr Winters, what you are suggesting is
completely impractical.

I came here this afternoon, Linda, to
meet you on your ground.

And I make a suggestion you might at
least meet me halfway.

Sir, can I just ask why?

Because it's only two weeks to the exam.

The mocks, yeah.

And they're going to last another two
weeks on top of that.

So? That's a conflict of interest.

How can anyone be working all out for
the exams and for your paper?

Colin, over here.

I'm talking to Mr Nolan. Well, hang up.

Yeah.

Mr Winters has a problem.

He doesn't see how we can work for our
exams and run the Gazette.

Are you going to cancel the exams?

I've asked Linda to close down your
paper for a month.

Yesterday, the headmaster asked you to
halt the paper for a month. Is that

to happen?

It's laughable. We've already spent the
money we were going to make on the next

four editions anyway.

So how can we cancel it?

And can I just add that available from
me personally at a very special price is

the brand new Colin Matthews exam kit
containing cards.

And unless I am completely satisfied
that the paper can continue without

affecting anyone's exam prospect, it
comes to an end.

Well, that's what he said.

Word for word.

Well, I think we've got trouble.

I think you're right.

Sarah!

Research material on playground violence
from our number one news hound, Spike.

Give me 1 ,500 words, no more.

When's this for?

Yesterday or sooner.

You should see his spelling, it's
amazing.

I'll tell you the best bits, but you'll
have your own favourites.

There's a lot of stuff in here.

OK, take till yesterday evening.

Yeah, of course.

Have you been sleeping OK?

Yes.

I've been counting sheep till I see the
same ones come round again.

Just as long as it's the gazette you
lose your sleep for.

Linda.

Are you all right?

No. Do you want to talk about it? No.

Can I help? No.

Do you know what word is being overused
in this conversation?

No. That's the one.

Let me guess.

Sarah's having her exam breakdown.

Yep. Is it that time of year already?

We simply assured the headmaster that no
-one would be under pressure because of

the Gazette.

We've got a roaster system on the wall
over here.

It means that nobody does more than an
absolute minimum.

For those of you listening in black and
white, the wall charts in green.

What about the kids who feel they still
can't cope with both?

No -one's being forced.

Anyone who wants to back out can.

Listen, I've got work to do.

And that was Linda Day, editor of the
Junior Gazette.

Did you get all that, Sam?

Ready when you are.

Linda, do you remember asking me to tell
you if you were ever being insensitive

or too demanding?

No.

Well, that's because you haven't.

But you would have if you were less
insensitive and demanding.

Kenny. Look, Sarah's already wound up
about her exams.

You've just wound her up tighter.

What's your point?

We need Sarah for the next four
editions. We can't afford to lose her.

Kenny, I know Sarah.

She can be a bag of nerves, but she
isn't a quitter.

Make a sentence out of the following
four words.

I, you, told, so.

Kenny, up, shut.

You had absolutely no right to behave in
the way that you did. The girl was

already going to pieces over her exams
and all you can do is demand more work

from her. Sir, I didn't know.

Linda, you are supposed to be one of her
friends.

And she's supposed to be one of mine.
But she spoke to you, not me.

Sir.

And you assured me there would be no
conflict between work for the exams and

work for the paper. There won't be,
especially not for her. Now she's walked

on us.

Don't you resent that?

Every time someone quits, it means more
work for the rest of us.

We've got exams too.

And just how many would need to quit
before you were forced to hold the

Off the top of my head.

Off the top of my head, I couldn't say.

But it could happen.

Colin told you the financial situation.

We could stop, but we couldn't start
again.

Compared with your academic success, I
think that hardly matters.

The junior gazette will not get you a
job. Your exams might.

Sir, are you planning to take any more
action on this?

That's all now, Linda. You can go.

Sir, are you?

When I say you can go, Linda, that's an
order, not an opportunity.

Yes, sir.

Rosemary, do we have a list of who in
this school works on the Junior Gazette?

Hi.

I wish I could chat, Colin, but I really
have got rather a lot of work to do

right now.

Even in your lunch hour, eh?

Heard Linda came down pretty hard on
you.

Yeah, well, you know Linda.

Well, don't hold that against me.

Sarah, can I ask you a question?

I don't know.

You don't know whether I can ask you a
question?

I don't know how I can be talking almost
all my classes and still go to pieces

whenever the exams are closed.

That's what you were going to ask, isn't
it?

I'd have been more tactful.

I get asked that question so often I
mutter answers in my sleep.

I care about that.

I want you to know that I care about
what you're going through.

And because I care so much... I'm here
to show you the brand new Colin Matthews

exam kit. In that folder there, for the
most reasonable price imaginable.

You get sample answers from the school's
smartest brains. You get questions

spotted by kids with proven track
records in exam prediction.

And I'm supposed to pay for this, am I?

Normally, I would charge a fiver. But
because it's you, because you're so

to me, because I care about you, I'm not
going to embarrass you by charging any

less. And do you know the sort of people
who are going to go for that, Colin?

The ones who are terrified out of their
wits of what their parents will say if

they fail. The ones who are desperate to
pass but don't think they've got the

brains to do it on their own. And the
ones like me who need all the

you can sell them.

I never knew the market would be that
big.

Dear parent, it has been brought to my
attention that your child is deeply

involved in the activities of the Junior
Gazette.

Now, while I am, of course, entirely in
favour of this kind of extracurricular

activity, I feel bound to point out that
the exams are almost upon us.

This is a time when study is paramount
and must take precedence over any

or pursuits, however worthy.

I have been asked to remind you that
these letters are for your parents.

Make sure they reach them with the
envelope still sealed.

I therefore strongly urge you to halt
your child's association with the

for the duration of the exam period.

Come in.

Quite simply, this could be the
difference between parting and failing.

Miss Hathorpe, it's morning break.

Can I make you a cup of tea?

Yours sincerely, Timothy Winter's
headmaster.

You know something? We've got trouble.

Please check that you are sitting at the
desk numbers you were assigned last

week. And do not turn over the exam
paper until you are told to.

All set?

I hope you pass this exam.

I really do.

Because I'd hate to think you wrecked a
paper for nothing.

I hope you realise there's a queue of
people a mile long just waiting there to

speak to you again.

Quiet there, please.

That's ten o 'clock.

You may turn over your papers.

This is Radio Sherrington's phone
ranger, reporting once again from the

Gazette.

Yesterday, I told you about the
headmaster's letter.

Today, I'm telling you about a major
crisis.

With over half their team gone, will the
Junior Gazette be able to weather the

storm? Earlier, I spoke to Linda Day,
editor.

We've worked out a schedule that might
just get us through if we lose a few

pages from each edition.

But if anyone else walks out on us, we
could really be sunk.

What if the Junior Gazette has to close?

Can it be restarted? Colin Matthews.
It'll be a real struggle and we'd have a

lot of debt.

We're pretty fragile as it is already
and this could knock us out of the game

completely. This is the phone ringer
handing you back to the afternoon show

a junior gazette.

I hope I picked a good time. At the
moment, there's no such thing.

A good time for what?

To ask you a question.

Off the record.

What's the subject?

Math? Physics?

History? I'm equally behind in all of
them.

Yes, but it's really rough on you.

If that's the question, do you really
need an answer?

Actually, I was going to ask you, when's
the earliest date you can leave school?

Don't say anything.

I'm going to make a suggestion.

I don't want you to talk.

I want you to listen and think.

I'm on my last six months with the phone
ranger, which is fine by me because

it's only a slot in someone else's
programme and because I'm getting a show

my own afterwards.

A kids' news show, Linda.

Saturday morning stuff.

I'm looking for an editor.

Someone the right age with the right
experience.

I just want you to know that the job's
yours for the asking.

Have a think about it.

I just thought this might be a good time
to mention it, when you're in the

middle of working out which is more
important, your exams or your career.

New work schedule.

And Julie just phoned with Loster.

That's all of the graphics team.

What are we going to do?

Without.

Anyway, I'll leave you to it.

Kenny? Kenny, I don't see your name
here.

Thanks, Kenny.

It's always nice to know you're behind
me.

I just wish you were still in sight.

I'm sorry, Linda.

Quitting's becoming a bit of a habit for
you, isn't it?

Hey, Kenny, wait a moment.

Linda came down pretty hard on you,
didn't she?

Yeah, well, you know Linda.

You don't hold that against me.

But listen, Kenny, I want you to know
that I care about this.

I care about what you're going through.

Thanks, Colin.

Hi.

I'm your new assistant editor again.

Spike no more jokes about my sense of
humour.

That wasn't a joke.

So come on, what's our situation?

Upper Creek, running out of paddles, and
tomorrow lunchtime I've got to go and

see the headmaster again.

Why? Because I asked to.

So what do you want to tell him?

Nothing I could repeat in front of him.

I'll settle for saying that I'm going
ahead with the Gazette come what may,

that he's made it pretty damned hard.

Are you sure we should still go ahead?

Not you as well.

No, you.

Me failing my exams, that's the school
event.

But for you... For me, Spike?

I don't think it's going to matter.

Oh, sorry.

Excuse me a moment.

Because it's you, because you're a
friend and someone I care about, I'm

knock the price down to six quid.

All right, if I give you the money
tomorrow?

I trust you, Julie, and I know you trust
me.

So while I'm trusting you to give me the
six quid tomorrow, you can trust me to

give you the exact gift.

Oh, hi, Linda.

Kate.

Heard Linda came down pretty hard on
you.

I care about that.

Going for one more?

You want to come with me?

With my reputation around here, I can
only offer you moral support.

All support gratefully accepted.

So what are you going to tell him?

How he nearly wrecked the Junior
Gazette, why he hasn't succeeded, and

what I think of him.

You hold him down. I'll frisk him for
weapons.

Come in.

Mr. Winters.

But you don't know what he was trying to
do.

His job, Linda.

But if the cassette stops.

Not if, Linda. Not if.

We won't be able to start it again.

And whose fault would that be? Mr.
Winters.

Sarah's?

Is it someone I know?

Whose job is it to plan ahead?

Who should have foreseen a conflict
between studying for the exams and

for the paper?

The Prime Minister.

Bad time for a joke, right?

And what about your exams, Linda? Spike?
They matter a great deal to you both.

And please don't tell me about the job
offer with Radio Sherrington. I don't

think either party is quite ready for
that yet.

You know.

Now listen.

Unless the paper can go ahead without
affecting anyone's exam prospects, and I

don't see how it can, it stops.

And if that gives you financial
problems, well, that's newspapers.

Now, you've got half your lunch hour
left. Good study time.

But, Mr Kerr... I've heard enough.

Well, we really showed him.

I hate being beaten.

I just hate being beaten.

You never stood a chance.

Just next defeat from the jaws of
defeat.

Hey, you two.

I expect winter's came down pretty hard
on you, didn't it?

Please, Colin, I've heard all about your
exam kit.

But have you heard about the new
knockdown price of only seven quid? I

new knockdown price had only six.

How have you got time for all this?
Shouldn't you be studying?

That's the beauty of it. I am.

I work with all the smartest brains in
the school to get this exam kit

Along the way, I picked up all the
lines, all the tips, all the angles. You

kid, I don't just work for exams.

I make exams work for me.

It's all a matter of combining my
studying with what I do normally.

Did I say something wrong?

So what questions do you think are going
to be dead, sir?

Chartists, they always come up.

No, not in 78.

That makes them a high probability, but
not a dead cert. Oh, come on.

This is amazing, you know.

I'm actually studying. I might even pass
something.

I wonder if they'll declare a national
holiday.

I don't believe you guys. You stole my
market.

Who's going to buy my exam kit now they
know that the next four editions of the

Junior Gazette are going to be ten times
better?

Can we quote you on that?

How are the sample answers coming?

Oh, fine, great.

I'll tell you something. It beats
working on your own.

Well, I think it's an excellent idea.

Not only do they learn about their
subjects, but they learn about the value

teamwork and cooperation. I'm delighted
to be associated with it.

Thank you.

Well, Linda, you certainly make some
spectacular methods.

But?

Who said anything about but?

Excuse me a moment. I've got someone I
need to talk to.

Hi. The Gazette and exam study.

Whether you're reading it or writing it.

I think we did good.

Yeah, I think so too.

I was just going to say thanks for the
immoral support.

Anytime.

Makes me almost think I shouldn't be
leaving for Radio Sherrington.

You're going to Radio Sherrington?

That was a joke.

You look tired, Sarah.

It is the middle of the exams, Colin.

I care about that. I care about what
you're going through.

Oh, no.

Sarah, I want to introduce you to the
Colin Matthews exam recovery kit.

Forget it, Colin. Exactly.

Forget those troublesome exams.

Work your way back to a quieter time.

You're really sick, you know that? Have
a read of this short booklet about rest

and relaxation techniques.

Colin. It's got a title page followed by
four blank ones. There's nothing to

read. Relaxing, isn't it?

Colin! And here, an invaluable document.
How to tell your parents you failed,

including a list of seven household
chores you should do before you tell

No sale, Colin.

If you buy one, I'll go away.

OK, hang on.

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