Original subtitles

Hi. You're ten minutes early.

Ten minutes and two days.

I know what happened to your brother, Jenny.

All I need to know now is why nobody will talk about it and why you draw on

pavements.

But can we go for a walk or something?

I don't want to talk in front of your parents.

What makes you think I'm going to tell you anything?

Why do you even want to know?

Don't move. I'm getting my coat.

I don't believe it. I mean, I've been doing this astrology column for six

and no one even bothers telling me purple isn't a car.

Colin, it's for you.

Any word from Kenny?

Yeah, two.

Second one was off.

Terrific. Sarah?

Henry. I haven't spoken to you since we set up that deal for the 14 second -hand

brand.

Well, it must have been a very heavy baby.

Danny, how many eggs in photograph?

Well, hey, come on. What do you want me to do about it?

Please. Please, Sarah.

Henry, what use would I be to you dead?

Kenny's been gone two days. I need an assistant editor.

You see that pile of work heaped over there? Somewhere under it is my desk.

I wouldn't ask if it wasn't an emergency.

Look, I've got three stories to do for the next edition, two cinema reviews and

so much homework I will not get to bed between school days.

You don't know what you're doing to me, Jackson.

Yes, I was going to deliver the breaks.

What did she leave it on a hill for anyway?

Spike, Kenny's gone and I need a new assistant editor.

Yeah? Could you stand in till I find one?

Hey, I'm going to be assistant editor.

Acting assistant editor.

Temporary. Is that better?

It is for me. Come on.

Now she makes me temporary acting assistant editor?

Is that a come on or what?

Spike, you weren't exactly my first choice. I asked everyone I liked first.

Well, that's encouraging.

Out of everyone you don't like, at least I'm your favorite.

Another little disagreement, children?

No.

Good answer.

Right. You use Kenny's desk.

These three drawers are mine. The bottom three are yours.

Gotcha, boss.

And try and remember that although we use separate in trays, we always use the

same out tray.

Hey, does that mean we're engaged?

Spike, do you know what's going to happen if you keep cracking jokes?

What? You'll say something funny.

So cruel.

So cruel. I get worse.

Right.

Kenny's notes on the high point story.

Get them in order, trim them down, and give them to the first one on the

team who's free.

Except Tom, because he's an idiot.

But they're only half finished.

I mean, it's all mystery, no answers.

So, if you've got no answers, you make the questions bigger.

Two years ago, Michael Elliott falls from the very top of High Point Tower

Block. It's called an accident.

But how can anyone accidentally fall over a ten -foot barrier?

And if it was suicide?

Then why didn't he take the easier ride out the open window a floor below?

Did he climb another staircase just to make it harder on himself?

What about his sister?

The best bit.

Every month since her brother's death, Jenny Elliott comes to High Point and

draws the outline of his body on the spot where he fell, one arm pointing at

row of shops.

Why did she do it?

What does she know?

Do I include a bit about our ex -assistant editor?

You know, figuring out what happened and then not telling us.

And then walking out on the newspaper because he's gone nuts for Jenny Elliot

and doesn't want to turn her into a newspaper story on her first date.

I was only asking.

Did you hear about Kenny?

I don't want to hear that name unless it's attached to an insult.

I saw him going to the station after school.

4 .20.

So?

The next train's at 4 .30.

So?

First stop, Mackton, then Jenny Elliot.

Look, we're going kind of fast, aren't we? Yeah, I'll say.

I can remember when you just were a sweet guy who took the wrong school bag.

Yeah, you didn't even believe that at the time. I also wouldn't have believed

you were only interested in me for my dead brother. Listen, if that's what

you're into, I can set you up with a girl with two for even a sort of a

date.

Look, can we talk now? Have you got anything else smart you'd like to say?

talk, I'll listen.

You tell me how you know what happened to Michael.

What, you mean I shouldn't know?

Are you kidding?

Look, my dad's a rich man. He's got all the right friends.

He's had that story killed in every newspaper, but there's so much glance at

So how come Kenny, the boy reporter, knows the whole thing?

The boy reporter worked it out.

How?

An old man used the High Point lift just after your brother, and he said that it

smelled like a cleaning lady's bucket, which got me thinking.

Suppose your brother was sniffing solvents in the lift. I mean, that'd

the smell.

Suppose he just went up to the top of the building for a bit of peace and

passing out.

Suppose it was so hot... Jenny, I've heard of it happening. Kids are so high

glue, they think they can fly.

Look, my guess is he just went up on one of the barriers and he just took off.

The ground must have come as a bit of a surprise.

Go home.

What?

Go home, Kenny, now.

I don't understand you, Elliot.

Yeah, I know.

You spent two years drawing your brother's body on the pavement right

fell. You spend two years trying to be noticed, and when somebody does, what do

you do?

Yeah, you're right.

I want it to be noticed.

But the trouble is, boy reporter, you notice the wrong thing.

So he got back on at seven o 'clock last night? And if you subtract the times

for both journeys, he couldn't have been in Macton for more than about an hour

and a half.

That's not long enough for a date.

So if he's seen Jenny Elliot... That means he's working on the story.

But if he's working on the story, why isn't he working here?

Thanks anyway, Danny.

All wrongly filed.

Most people, Spike, know how to spell the alphabet.

Don't tell me it's got two L's.

Virgo. Check.

Scorpio.

Check.

Kenny.

No, no, I don't think we've got that one.

Hi, Billy.

Oh, look, history.

I need to talk to you.

Did you try everyone who could walk away first?

Listen, you know that business I was telling you about? You know, the High

Flats and Jenny Elliott?

I remember you fancied one of them. Look, I told you I felt like a rat for

to Jenny, and I got the feeling you thought I was a rat too.

Whatever gave you that idea?

Roll up your tail and sit down.

And why is Jeff on the school story instead of Sally?

Sally had to go home.

Had to what?

Spike, we've got rules about people ducking work.

Yeah, I know. Only four grandparent funerals per person.

She was sick. I had to let her go. Did you use a thermometer?

You didn't tell me I was allowed to do physicals.

Spike, I've got to have proof.

So I'm told. Is it true you made a guy bring home his tonsils from the

Linda.

Oh, does that mean I'm fired now?

What's he doing here?

What are they saying? Did you get close enough?

No, sorry.

Spike, have we got anyone who can lip -read?

No. Then why not?

What?

What does she mean, why not?

You know what? She's laughing.

Colin, what are you doing? If a man comes looking for me with a pram wheel,

you just tell him I've moved to Canada?

The wrong thing. Yeah, that's what she said. I noticed.

So how can I help?

Well, look, you think I'm a rat for what I'm doing, right? And so does she, so

maybe you can tell me what I'm doing wrong. I mean, she did want to be

But what did she want noticed?

Maybe not herself.

Maybe not even her brother.

The drawing was pointing, wasn't it?

Yeah, at the shop.

Where he bought the solvents?

Could be.

It's illegal to sell that stuff to the underage, do you know?

So the shopkeeper sold it to Jenny's brother and made a profit out of killing

him? So the dead finger points at the murderer.

Billy, you're a genius.

What little of me works in trolley gold. Well, I'd better get out of the shop

then and talk to the guy.

Well, before you do, I've got a photograph of Jenny.

Yeah, Danny took some pictures.

I'll settle for the one you've got on you.

Now, they're seriously female.

She'd have any guy stockpiling the Bitcoin.

Yeah, she's nice, isn't she?

Could be, Adam.

What?

A girl in my class at school, when I still had a few working parts.

So good to look at. She could wear your eyes out.

Is this a reader's true romance?

Yeah, I love them folk stories. My sister keeps forgetting to buy them.

She kept looking at me.

You know, it's like she maybe... Fancied you.

But I couldn't be sure.

I mean, I didn't dare try anything in case I was wrong.

So I had this little idea.

I'd leave a note in the desk, and all it would say would be, Dear Crispin, this

is a note from the guy you fancy most.

Because I reckon the first thing she'd do after reading it would be look at the

guy she fancied most.

And if it was me, I'd be past the tape, the crowd would be cheering, and I

wouldn't be a bit embarrassed.

Did it work out?

Never got round to trying.

Well, what happened?

You're looking at it.

Took my bike right to the intensive care.

Yeah. Anyway, you'd better be going now.

Shop will be closing soon. Yeah, right. Look, thanks a lot, Billy. Cheers.

No problem.

And good luck with a lady.

Kenny?

Kenny! What are you doing?

Well, I thought if Kenny was back that I should... Think for yourself when I

tell you.

Oh, never mind.

Maybe next time she'll fire you.

Kenny!

We'd like to speak to Colin Matthews, please.

Excuse me.

You don't know me, but a friend of mine used to come here and he used to buy

glue.

Tholvent bathed.

No problem.

£2 .50.

Jenny? Oh, sorry, Mrs Elliot. You really sound like your daughter.

Is she there, please? It's Kenny Phillips.

Oh, is that what she said about me?

Yeah, I can understand that.

And that.

Yeah, and that too.

Listen, could you give her a message for me, please?

Yeah, could you just tell her that I've noticed the right thing now?

Tell her I don't know what I'm going to do about it, but... Just that I'd

noticed it.

Yeah, no, that's all for now, thanks.

Yeah,

okay then.

Thanks a lot, Mrs Elliot.

Hi, folks.

Your old friend, Spike Thompson, welcoming you once again to the Miss

Human Being Contest.

And our first contestant is Linda, heart of Teflon, Day.

Spike, tell Dennis we're cutting the drafts and tell Colin I can add up and

to try it on again.

And move a little faster, Spike. We could end up going monthly.

You know, I used to have quite a tough reputation in this town.

I once got attacked by five other guys, and nobody would believe that they

started it.

You've been telling that story since there were only two other guys.

And Linda's favorite color is obedience.

That's right, friends. And her favorite pastime is biting the drills off of

Dennis. She can be hard, can't she?

Hard? They had to use an industrial laser to piss her ears.

What are they?

What, the pile of prams? Yeah. Some stuff Colin picked up, I think.

Yeah, what did he do with the babies?

High point jump juice.

One whiff of that and you fly straight to the ground.

Let me guess.

He was high enough to think he didn't need anything under him.

He was right for the first ten floors.

That's a good story.

Good enough to walk out over.

It's a great story. It's a wonderful story, but forget it, because I've got

something better.

Getting away with murder.

How many times have I told you about thinking for yourself?

Yeah, well, I don't believe it gives you cancer.

OK, talk.

OK, everyone, listening time.

As of now, every story for the next edition is cancelled.

We've got something big to do.

Probably the biggest thing we'll ever do. And your cooperation is more than

appreciated. It's compulsory.

Will someone get Colin out from under those prams?

Not big enough.

Can we clear some more deck, please? We need another four.

Sarah, everybody has to do this. Let's buy... Everybody, Sarah.

Now, remember, you're mean.

You're tough. You're hard.

Okay? Now ask me.

Could I buy some solvent -based products, please?

Not big enough.

We'll just need to put some spots around the mouth and get them to look dopey.

Believe me, Julie, we've got dopey looking legs.

Frazz?

You're tough.

You mean.

You're bad, okay? You're street.

You're the kind of person who's rude to all people.

You know?

You get up from the dinner table. You don't ask permission.

You're the kind of person who eat a jam donut, you know.

And you won't wipe your mouth afterwards.

You are bad.

So go ahead, ask me.

Can I buy some solvent?

Please.

Look, after a mess -up like this, you need to get involved in something

improve your image.

My image is fine.

Are you kidding?

But you can't make any mistakes with babies.

Ask any politician who's dropped one.

Yes, Mrs. Elliot.

Listen, could you just make sure that Jenny gets a copy of the next edition of

the Junior Gazette?

Thanks very much.

From now on, Sarah, you're a different person.

You don't say words like please and thank you anymore, OK?

Sorry, Spike.

You know, Mrs Elliot, you really do sound like your daughter.

No way, Linda, some of those shops advertise with us.

Do you ever think of anything except money?

Sure. What?

No, don't, curtsy!

Well? I'm trying to think. It was a long time ago.

Yo, Danny.

Hey, what is it?

Can I ask you why you think it's perfectly all right to throw dangerous

to an obvious glue sniffer? One of your spots is falling off.

Oh, jeez. Who are you?

Junior Gazette.

Maxwell's Newmarket. I want you to go down the high street, okay? Cut through

the shopping centre, out of Baker Street, and there's Jefferson's

down there. I want you to go down, check out the situation there, okay? Go,

guys.

Okay?

Got this at the supermarket.

Good stuff. Danny, the supermarket.

Sarah, you're doing really well. Go shove it. That's my girl.

Lisa just signed in. No hits at Dover Road and they're moving on to Weston

Street. Should mean Spots Team are halfway down.

Spots Team are moving pretty slow. They'll never make it to Benton Falls.

will scare them on the next phone in. We've got to cover all the shops.

Got these in Charlotte Street. Where do you want me to put them?

Number 8.

Maybe Lisa's team could help them out. They're only two streets away.

Terrific. I'll be right over to collect the money then, Mr Graham.

Thank you. Thank you.

It's beautiful.

It's so beautiful.

Now, why do I know you're talking about money?

Kenny, we're off out again. Lincoln Street.

OK, will you give us a call when you get there? There's a phone box on the

corner. OK.

I'm phoning these guys, right?

The ones that don't know they've been hit. And I'm saying, hey, we're doing a

big feature on your shop, which is true, so why don't you take out a big advert

just to beef up the impact?

And they're saying, hey, great idea. Then I'm charging them twice the normal

rate because of the size of the spread they're getting.

It's beautiful.

They're paying us to expose them.

Colin, you are remembering it was our idea.

Hey, guys, I'd never have thought it up without you.

Do you think we should tell him we're giving all the money to the hospital?

Don't be cruel.

Linda, what do you think?

There you go, Linda.

Biggest front page we've ever done.

Yes, we can verify everything it says in the paper.

And we will do if we're asked.

Well, thank you. Thank you very much.

You're too kind.

Please call again.

That's the fourth death threat today.

Hey, Kenny, how did it go at the police station?

Well, Inspector Hawkins said he can't approve of what we're doing.

And congratulations.

Is he following us up? Of course not.

He'll get back to us when he has.

Great. Oh...

Kerr says it's the best edition we've ever produced and he wants to speak to

personally. Yeah?

Yeah. He wants to take the hand of the person responsible.

This is a big story, Kenny.

We'll be weeks just clearing up after it.

So well done and welcome back.

Oh, Penny?

Yeah?

Never mind.

Temporary acting assistant editor?

Yes?

You're fired.

Thanks, Bart.

You won't regret this.

I'm touched.

No other guy ever tried to close down a business for me.

Well, if you can't put a few people out of work for a friend.

Happy endings are so predictable.

Me, I like the unexpected.

Princess kisses frog and it's a girl.

Could happen. Yeah, sure, as frogs are princes.

Some of them turn out to be not too bad.

Shall we go for a walk?

Easy for you guys to say.

Don't let the wheelchair pull you, Keith.

I'm just leaving my body to science.

It's dangerous.

This story's getting a ton of reaction. I'm really glad you decided to come in

and help.

I'm glad you've told me that's what I've decided.

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but quite frankly, I think selling solvents

to children is a lot more irresponsible than anything we printed.

It's mad, really.

I almost feel guilty.

Some of these people could lose their living.

These people aren't making a living, Jenny.

They're making a killing.

Colin, are you hiding from anything?

Of course I'm not hiding, Fraz. Why would I be hiding?

Well, it's just that you're standing in a cupboard. I took a wrong turning. And

you're wearing dark glasses.

So? And a beard. A beard?

Oh, no.

Puberty. Colin, what are you hiding from?

Why have you got to assume I'm hiding? Why has everyone got to assume I'm

hiding? It's getting so a guy can't disguise himself and stand in a cupboard

anymore. There's no one you're trying to avoid, then?

Of course there isn't. So why did you try to get Linda to print your obituary

the paper?

I wasn't feeling very well.

Oh, by the way, friends, if a guy comes looking for me, talking about prams,

could you, you know, for a joke, tell him I'll be out of town till Christmas

sometime next century?