All language subtitles for Press Gang s01e03 One Easy Lesson.eng

Mr. Sullivan, you said you'd have that
article for the paper today. Have you

it? Good morning, Linda.

Good morning, sir. Have you got it?

Would tomorrow do?

Oh, sir, I've given you two extra days
already. I mean, come on.

And speaking of things not done, your
English essay was due in yesterday.

Hey, sir, you put me in charge of the
Junior Gazette. I'm not just a pupil

I'm an editor. And I am kind of busy.

And I'm not just teaching you English
and writing you articles.

I am assistant head of this school, and
I also am kind of busy.

Then how can you spend eight minutes in
the toilet?

Actually, Linda, I was not aware that I
was being timed.

I just happened to notice.

That's two minutes over your average.

There are times, Linda, when I think you
ought to be fitted with an off switch.

Trouble, Mr Knowles?

No, no.

Not at all.

No. This long.

Behaving, are they? Oh, yes. They're
fine.

They're just fine.

Good, good.

Well, just keep a tight grip on them.
That's what they understand.

Yes, I know.

Right.

I'll just leave you to it.

Now listen.

And everyone, please remember, we're not
supposed to have this phone.

Matt Kerr doesn't know he's paying for
it, so can we please keep it hidden at

all times, OK?

OK.

I don't see the point.

Linda, it'd be great. We could fit it on
page four and do it weekly.

Oh, come on, why not?

You want reason?

You know, this could give the paper a
bit of class.

An acne advice column with all the best
creams and stuff.

I was going to call it the face space.

How about the zit bit?

Shut it, Kenny.

Or blackheads revisited? Kenny! Or pus
pus. Oh, spot on.

So the first thing I tell anyone who
joins the paper is that they need one

thing. Gut and brain.

Two things.

What? You said two things.

Yes, I know. I know I said two things.
It's my little test. Well done.

So you're going to need two things, OK?

Guts, brains and a good sense for
figures.

What, three things?

Sorry? So which of the three things is
the one thing you need?

Both. Any one thing, Colin?

Now, why don't we just forget all about
the plane part?

Yeah, I suppose.

Summing up?

No, of course not.

Here, look, this is guaranteed to cheer
anyone up this side of Norwich High.

You know Mr Knowles, the new English
teacher?

Now, come on.

Now, come on, children.

I mean, you really must shut up. Don't
say another word. And if you do, I'm not

going to tell you a thing about the
semicolon.

As a matter of fact, I don't find that
funny, Kenny. I don't find that funny at

all.

Oh, come on, Sarah. I was only trying to
cheer you up. All right, all right. Any

advance on seven things you need in you?

Hey, Colin.

What's in those?

I had a nap spike. Just for a moment.
Just for a tiny second.

Yeah, what are you talking about?

It was a bargain. I mean, a real
bargain.

They were just, like, sitting there, cut
dry.

Like they were beckoning to me.

Yeah, what was beckoning you?

Colin!

She finds out I'm dead.

Do you think it's true? You really can't
take it with you?

No.

Where is it? Where's what?

You were collecting the money for
Farndale's advert. I haven't forgotten.

Oh, yeah.

What's all this?

It's a bargain, Linda. Honestly, I was
up at the sports shop where they make

sports stuff and I couldn't stop myself.

You've spent the money, haven't you?

You've gone and spent that money,
haven't you?

More or less.

Hand me the knife.

Sure. Don't you think you ought to
consider that unarmed?

Ping -pong ball.

Half ping -pong ball.

How many of them?

Well, they make them in two halves, you
see, and they always have a few

defective ones left over. How many?

100 ,000.

Are you telling me, Colin, that you have
spent Gazette money on 100 ,000

defective half ping -pong balls? It was
a bargain. Look, we're getting in on the

ground floor here. It's an investment.
It's a whole new concept.

In... Balls.

Colin, the ping -pong balls are yours,
and the Farnsdale money is the Gazette,

and I expect it back. Clear?

Well, that's essentially a lot.

You'll be able to cover it, no problem.
Not quite as simple as that, Spike.

I've got a temporary cash flow
situation.

Yeah.

Just a minute.

Just a minute.

Spike, have you ever had a sort of a
ringing in your ears like a giant till?

No.

It wasn't a lap, Spike. It was a moment
of pure genius and inspiration.

What are you talking about? I can sell
them. I can sell the little suckers.

They'll be the biggest craze in...

My last one. Why are you going to sell
half ping -pong balls then?

What else is a ping?

OK, news team, story conference.

Come on, before we miss this week's news
completely.

What are you doing?

It's all right.

What? It's all right.

Hey.

Oh, is it?

just stormed out.

What did you say to her?

Well, hardly anything. I just did my
impression of Mr Knowles.

Of who?

Mr Knowles, the new English teacher.

You know.

Now, really, class.

Now, come on.

Look, how do you expect me to be able to
teach you if you won't settle down and

work? Now, please, please, please. Look,
you're just going to have to be quiet.

All right? All right, that's it. If you
won't do the working class, you can just

do it for homework, right?

So homework for tomorrow is... Homework
for tomorrow

is page 73.

Mr

Knowles?

Don't think I quite caught the homework.

Sorry, you can call me Simon now.
They've all gone.

Forget about the homework, too.

We'll pick it up next time.

Right.

Quite a bunch of your friends, aren't
they?

Very lively.

Yeah, they are.

I suppose they're always like this with
the new teacher, eh?

Yeah, always.

Well, just as long as they don't push me
too far, I don't want to get, you know,

really tough with them.

Listen, I've got to go.

Have a word with you, Mr North.

Yeah, I'm going.

Well, how's it going, Simon? Oh, it's
fine. It's fine, I think.

Simon, could I give you a word of
advice?

The thing is, Simon, if the class see
that you believe you can control them,

they'll believe it too.

But if they see just a moment of
uncertainty... Do you ping?

I'm in! Pinging is in, Sarah. Don't try
to fight it. For instance, a personal

stereo for the silence lover. The
world's first.

Phony walk -not. Not now, Colin.

Sarah, I'm trying to let you in on the
ground floor here. Not now!

Haven't you two got clouds with you to
go there?

Ah, Mr Sullivan.

Do you ever have a problem finding the
ideal little gift for your favourite

artist? Not now, Colin. Because I'm
willing to show you on an entirely trial

basis the most innovative, exciting...

Teacher features?

Don't we get enough of them during the
day? If we knew more about them, what

they're like out of school, just be your
basic interviewer sort of profile.

What's Miss Martin, maths teacher,
really like?

Or Mr Knowles, English teacher.

That's what this is about, isn't it?

What do you mean?

He's your cousin, isn't he?

Kenny told me how upset you were when he
was making fun of him.

So we checked it out.

I didn't want anyone to know that.

I hear he's not going down too well with
his classes.

Yeah, well, if people just took the
trouble to get to know him a bit

And you're going to take the trouble for
them, is that it? Well, do I get to do

it?

OK, Sarah, it's a bye.

Thank you, Linda. I promise you, you
won't be disappointed.

Yes, but we'll miss the Knowles.

Kenny, where's the phone at the moment?

Poplan.

Linda, what are you doing?

Never seen anyone talk to a plant
before.

Oh, yeah. Look, could you tell your
sister to stop using my typewriter,

Sister?

Frazz, I haven't got a sister.

Oh, well, maybe you can tell her that,
eh?

You must have been born while I was out.

Well, I'm always telling Mum you don't
pay any attention to me.

Who are you?

Tony Tildley, but my friends call me
Tiddler because I'm small and popular.

Then why aren't you away playing with
them? Because your newspaper said it's

children. There's nothing in it for
anyone under 12.

So I thought maybe you need the junior
section.

And I thought seeing as I'm top in
English in the lower school, I'd be the

person to write it.

And I was thinking it would be the right
kind of experience.

Because when you're too old to be in
this kind of paper, I'll be about the

age to be the new editor, won't I?

You did ask.

Linda.

I'll be back with you in one moment.

I finished your ping -pong poster.

I did get the name right, didn't I?

I can't think of a time when I didn't
want to be a teacher.

Ever since I can remember, that's been
it. That's been the Holy Grail, if you

like. And I'll be honest, I've got a
good enough degree to get a better paid

job. It's not that people haven't
pointed that out to me, but I can't

anything as, well, as fulfilling of
contact with young people.

Chance to help shape young minds.

You see, when you're teaching, you're
not just doing a job. I mean, a

isn't just a place where you work. It's
a place where you... where you're

nurturing the future on the best of the
past.

Tell me, what's the private Mr Knowles
like?

Sorry? Well, have you got any hobbies or
anything?

Well, yes, but I don't think you'd be
interested.

No, I would, really.

Well, it's a bit unusual.

The more unusual, the better.

As a matter of fact, I collect
butterflies.

You're going to make this guy popular
because he's poisoned, isn't he? Look,

a writer. I'll make it sound better.

Good luck to you.

Sir. All right, are there ten things
that you need in the newspaper business,

right?

Or did we get to eleven?

Not bad.

Not bad?

Not bad.

Not bad.

Well, what did he say? He said it was
not bad.

Hey, that's good.

It is.

Well, it's not bad.

Come in.

What do you think?

Linda, will you stop doing that?

I'm asking, what do you think?

Of what?

Of the paper, the new edition.

Oh, that.

Well?

Butterfly. Not bad. Not bad? I'm not
just selling half -ping -pong balls

I'm selling two -thirds of the world's
surface in off -white plastic.

Lepidoptera is the correct name for it.
It's the study of winged insects.

Now, when Graham and Roy saw the article
in the Juni Gazette, they very nicely

asked me if I'd bring along some of my
specimens.

Um, so I've brought a selection here.

Now, you may want to pass these back,
but, um, do please be careful with them,

because some of them are rather
valuable.

Wow, look at the wings on that.

Yeah, just be careful with them.

Does it make you want to rush out and
stick a pin in something?

No, no, come on, boys.

Hey, sir, can you clip bodges like this?
Just be careful, please. Some of them

are rather valuable.

Yeah, yes, sir, but they are.

Here, cut.

Not only was part of his collection
destroyed, but he has also acquired the

unenviable, though not overly
imaginative name, of Butterfly.

Rather the last straw for him. I don't
know what it is you want us to do about

it. But you do know what it is I wish
you hadn't done.

As a guide to the future?

We'll stop the teacher features, of
course.

But as for Mr Knowles... Mr Knowles is a
very dedicated and idealistic young

man. If he can just conquer his problem
with classroom discipline, I believe he

has the makings of a very fine teacher.

Somehow I don't think that's going to
happen now.

You have managed to make an already
unhappy situation worse.

However, I'm keeping you from your
lunch.

But there's nothing we can do.

So you keep saying.

We were trying to help.

Congratulations.

I don't think I can face lunch now.

You'll get over it. Oh, Will Simon.

Do you think he'll be up there now?

Why?

I'm going to go and speak to him.

What for?

To say sorry I helped? I don't know.

Linda, I've been looking everywhere for
you.

What did you think of my junior page?

Got in, didn't it?

Yeah, but what did you think of it?

Not bad.

Why apologise, Sarah? You were only
trying to help.

Yeah, but your butterfly collection...
Oh, it's been years since I was doing

that seriously.

I just thought the kids might find it
interesting.

Which, in a fashion, they did.

Actually, I think I owe you a favour.

Up until now, I've just been kidding
myself.

Sort of pretending I was somehow
managing.

But I think now I can see the truth.

I'm not going to make it as a teacher.

But that's what you've always wanted.
That's what you've always wanted to be.

And as the wise man said, what you want
and what you get.

Can't you give up?

I'm trying to understand, Sarah.

I've been making a complete fool of
myself.

Daydreaming about education.

What I could do in it.

Well, then, do you know something, Mr
Knowles? Sorry?

No, Mr Knowles. I think I preferred you
when you were a fool.

Rosemary. Could you get me the Gazette
on the phone, please?

Certainly, Mr Sullivan.

Is it a private call or a school
business?

Oh, school business.

Very definitely a school business.

He phoned you.

And I'm very glad he did.

After the supermarket fiasco, you can't
afford another mess like this.

Look, it wasn't my idea.

Your editor.

The only ideas you don't get credit for
are the good ones.

Yeah, I know.

Well, here's something you don't know.

Thanks partly to you, your headmaster
now has grave doubts about Simon

future in Norbridge High. So he's paying
his class a surprise visit this

Thursday to check on him.

And somehow I don't think Mr Knowles is
in a fit state to make a good

impression, do you?

But what can I do about it?

Something. Something?

Something.

Something.

Linda. Sarah.

We've got to do something.

Stage one.

We need to find out which class the
headmaster's likely to drop in on. So

Danny's going to get us a copy of the
school's master timetable.

How?

Simple.

I don't think why your newspaper wants a
photograph of me.

Well, you're a bit of a school
personality, Miss Chisholm.

How about one of you over against the
window there?

You mean about here?

Yeah, that's right.

How is this?

Lovely.

Thank you.

Thank you, Danny.

No problem.

The headmaster's got meetings all
morning, and Niles has only got one

the afternoon.

So it's got to be three feet.

of you to give up your lunch time to
help him with the photocopying? Believe

Miss Jess, if I'm getting as much out of
it as you are.

Stage three. I don't want to know how
you do it, but you get everyone on this

list to behave.

You leave it to the experts.

Brett.

Tony Robbins, 3C. Raymond Smith, 3C.

Mary Kathleen, 3C. When you get Mr.
Knowles for English tomorrow, on

you're going to behave.

Like an angel.

But you're going to make it look like
you're being a naughty little boy. A bad

little girl.

But when Noel tells you to do something,
do it. Or else.

Or watch it. Or you'll be going home in
bucket.

I don't want to do it like this.

The headmaster's going to appear about
halfway through. This way he's going to

like what he sees.

I wish you'd hurry up. Danwick will be
wondering where we've got to.

Relax, will you?

I just hope the whole thing works.
Relax, it'll work.

Yeah, this once.

This once is all we need.

Hey, you two.

What are you doing here?

You're meant to be in knowledge class.

We didn't like to tell you yesterday.
Tell me what?

3C don't get knowledge.

We swapped over with 3B.

3B? The timetable must have been out of
date, despite you've leaned on the wrong

class.

Just a minute. What do you hear?

Nothing. Yeah, nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Yes, Sarah?

Mr. Knowles, can I see you outside for a
moment?

If you just carry on working as you are.

It's all right, they know.

How's it going?

It's almost like being a real teacher.

You mean it's working?

When I tell them to do something, they
do it.

Of course, this time I know before I say
anything that they're bound to listen.

You mean they're doing everything you
tell them to?

Of course.

And you know they're going to do it
before you even tell them?

Well, naturally. That's the way you
arranged it, isn't it?

Mr Knowles, I think there's something
you should know.

And that homework will be due in by
tomorrow morning.

Now, um...

This is nearly the bell. I think you may
as well pack up.

Right, well, I hope you all found that a
useful lesson.

I know I did.

I mean, can you believe it? Just because
he thought he could control the class,

suddenly he could.

Yeah, but will it stay that way?

Well, he's done it once.

Dunno.

He's got a chance. He's got a much
better chance.

Anyway, I'm going home. See you.

All right. See you tomorrow.

Hello, Junior Gazette.

Hello, Linda.

Oh.

Hello, Mr Kerr.

Mr Sullivan? Linda.

Just wanted to say, sir, thanks for the
article. Oh, not at all. Did you like

it? Can we talk about the first
paragraph, sir?

What's wrong with the first paragraph?

Well, it's a bit flabby, isn't it, sir?

It is not flabby.

You don't have to be defensive, sir. I'm
not being defensive. I am never

defensive.

Look, I just don't think we can afford
to be that flabby in the first

What with the second paragraph?

What's wrong with the second paragraph?

Well, it's a bit flabby, isn't it, sir?
That's not flab, Linda. That's style.

Is there any part of the article you did
like?

Oh, I liked it.

So it's just a bit too much style.

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